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Pointless Wanderings

Pointless Wanderings
A funny blog about life of a Software Engineer in Bangalore

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Misc: Copyright and Forwarding the blog
2007-09-13 10:07:00
New! Email DeliveryEnter your email address:Delivered by FeedBurner Hi Everyone,I wanted to answer a couple of questions that some of you have asked.Q: What does the copyright notice one the bottom of the feed mean? Can I forward the blogposts to my friends?A: The copyright notice only says that I (Aditya Kulkarni) have created this original content. It does not mean you have to pay for it or have to ask permission to re-distribute it. Please feel free to send this blog to as many people as you want. Hell, spam everyone with it :)Q: Where did you buy the yellow car from yesterday's post?A: My Wife bought it at the Landmark store at the Forum. They have a mezzanine floor for these kinds of things. It was a limited-edition, so you might not get the exact same copy, but you can try.Thanks for reading the blog, everyone. I appreciate all the nice things ya'll have said :) If you want to subscribe to this blog, use this feed. To get the blog delivered by email, enter your email address...
More About: Misc , Blog , Copyright , Forward , Forwarding

My Car Collection
2007-09-11 18:47:00
I'm feeling good today. So I'm going to show off my toy car collection to ya'll :)1) This is my oldest toy car that I've not destroyed yet.2) I stole this from a kid that came to our house a while ago. I hid his toy car. When the Kids' parents decided to leave:Kids Parents: "Come on, Rohit. Let's go!"Kid: "I can't find my Car!"Parents: "You always lose your things. Why can't you be more careful?"Kid (starts crying) :"*sniff* I am sure I left it right here *sniff* booohoooohooo"Me (to myself) : "Muhahahahhahaa (evil laugh)"3) I bought these in China. Only 5 rupees each. (If you recognized them as the cars from "Speed Racer" from Cartoon Network, call me. We have a lot in common)4) It's a remote controlled car that can do the equivalent of 0-100 kmph in 3.4 seconds. It has headlights and indicators. My GF bought it for me. That's when I decided to marry her.5) I bought this on the Roadside near a Halli. Looks like the Scorpio.6) A friend, let's call him Anishman, got this a...
More About: Coll

Aditya's Career F.A.Q.
2007-09-10 20:31:00
I've amassed a lot of knowledge over time giving Career Advice. Now, I've decided to share this knowledge with the rest of the world. I notice that most people have the same set of questions, and I've compiled them all here for your convenience.Q: What branch of Engineering should I major in - Information Science or Computer Science?A: As everyone already knows, the right answer is B.A in Philosophy. There are several reasons why Philosophy is better than Engineering. Here are the top 2: 1) The net sum of knowledge gained during Engineering is negative. 2) Turning in a blank answer sheet has deep philosophical meaning. In a Philosophy course, it might get you some marks.Q: But I'm really good with Computers and Programming.A: So you're willing to work hard? That's good. Hard work will bring you deep satisfaction, loads of riches, power, fame, get you 120 patents and make Rakhi Sawant fall for you.Q: Really?A: No.Q: What skills are necessarily to survive in the Real World?A...

How I crashed into a Buffalo
2007-09-09 18:01:00
Back in College, I owned a bike - A Silver Suzuki Fiero and I loved it. Not enough to keep it clean, but that's a different story. Anyway, I was riding to college in the freezing pre-dawn time (7:30 AM), lost in my thoughts, talking to the voices in my head.Voice #1: "Why do these autos write 2500cc at the back when they only have a 150cc engine?"Voice #2: "It's the placebo effect. If you believe in yourself, the impossible becomes possible."Voice #1: "That's ridiculous. The auto can't increase it's power just by believing it has a big engine!"Voice #2: "You underestimate the power of self-esteem."Voice #1: "Auto's don't have self-esteem. They're not even living things."Voice #2: "And you? You're just a figment of this joker's imagination!"Me: "JUST A MINUTE! Who're you calling a joker?"Russian Voice:"???????! ???????!"Voice #1: "What? We really gotta teach this dude some english. What...are...you...saying?Russian Voice: "BIG! BLACK! 4-LEGS!"Voice #2: "Auto's have only 3...
More About: Buffalo , Crashed

Literary Sophistication
2007-09-08 15:19:00
The usual path for most people to take through the vast Literature of our civilization is fairy tales -> comic books -> Shakespeare -> Salman Rushdie -> "How to reach Heaven in 5 easy steps"Each stage leads to higher consciousness and a better understanding of the Universe. Apparently. I don't know. Because I never went past the second stage.I love comic books. When I was little, "Tinkle" was my favoritestest book. I kept buying them like crazy. At first, my parents thought it was cute, and encouraged my "Reading Habit". But when I was reading Tinkle in 10th Standard, they started to get a little worried.Dad: "So you're still reading Tinkle eh?"Me : "Yeah. Tantri the Mantri is my favorite"Dad: "Here. Try reading this "Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea". You might like it"Me: "What's it about?"Dad: "It's about an adventure of a Hero in Unknown Worlds"Me: "Like Shikari Shumbhu?"When I got to college, I was saving up pocket money to buy "Archie & Friends". My Mom was getting p...
More About: Literary

Voices in my Head
2007-09-05 21:06:00
I hear voices in my head. I've always heard them, even when I was little. I thought it was normal. After all, everyone kept talking about stuff like "My Conscience tells me that..." or "My inner voice says...". I assumed that's what everyone was talking about.The only problem is that the voices seem to have a will of their own. They seem to be vaguely interested in me and my life, but mostly they have an independent agenda. Mostly it is good company to have them around, but sometimes they can get quite annoying.Like this time, back in PU College, when this really cute girl came up to me and said "Nice T-Shirt".Voice #1: "What mate, getting lucky today, eh?"Voice #2: "Tell her that you wore the same shirt yesterday and forgot to take a bath today. Yeah, chicks dig that!"Me (trying to ignore the voices, to the cute girl): "Why thank you! I picked it out just yesterday!"Voice #1: "Hey everyone, check this out. Our man is actually talking to a real girl!"I suddenly hear a lot of noise...
More About: Head , VOIC

Weight vs Time
2007-09-04 16:29:00
Here is a plot of my weight against time. If you can't see the image, please click here.Copyright © 2007, Aditya Kulkarni. All rights reserved. Thanks for reading! For more wanderings, visit http://www.pointlesswanderings.com/. Click on the title to comment. Copyright © 2007, Aditya Kulkarni. All rights reserved.
More About: Weight , Time , Weigh

Stock Investments
2007-09-03 19:16:00
Soon after I started working at Trilogy, I started getting interested in the stock market. The world's biggest Casino! Where fortunes are made and everyone gets rich! I used to work with this guy, let's call him Atif*, who got me very interested in this stock business. He used to give me stock tips everyday, and made "guaranteed" predictions that stock X was going to double within a month.One day, he "highly recommended" the Reliance Petroleum stock to me. They were coming out with an IPO, and, according to Atif, anyone who didn't invest in it had "bloody stone-cold rocks in their head".So I go ahead and apply for the Reliance Petroleum's (RPL) IPO. It's only 90 rupees a share. That's cheap. Even Fried Rice in Shanti Sagar costs more than that. It must be a good deal.Day 0: The stock opens on the stock market, and rockets to 110 Rupees. I'm feeling good. Wow, this is easy money. Why haven't I been doing this for years?Day 1: RPL = 85 rupees.Oh man! I've already lost a few t...
More About: Stock , Investments

Orkutiquette
2007-09-02 19:46:00
I've never understood Orkut. I don't understand what makes it so popular and why people spend so much time on Orkut. Apparently, I totally missed the "Social Networking" bus.So, in an effort to catch up, I recently asked a "Master" of Orkut some tips and tricks. I was shocked to learn the existence of several "unwritten" laws that need to be followed for proper Orkut etiquette. Here are some of the Orkut Laws that this person shared with me:Orkut Law #1: U wil lern 2 spek da talk.Apparently, using complete words and correct grammar will reduce your "coolness" factor. Only nerds and Grammar Nazis speak in proper English with full words. On Orkut, your sentences don't even have to have a subject, predicate, verbs and adjectives. That's what they mean by freedom. "Free us from the tyranny of the subject and the verbs"Orkut Law #2: Thou shalt upload photos from all your trips.The Orkut album section apparently says a lot about you. Proper Orkut etiquette says that you should upload...

Starbucks
2007-08-31 19:41:00
I remember the first time I went to Starbucks like yesterday. It was one of those incidents that shook me, and changed me for life.So I'm waiting for a connecting flight at the Denver airport. It's horribly early, and I'm terribly sleepy. I decide that a kick of coffee is what I need.Now, back in India, getting a cup of coffee is a really simple matter. You go to a darshini, say 'coffee' (or any of these accepted phrases: 'kapi', 'kophee', 'caafeeee' etc... etc...) and you get a nice, hot cup of coffee! Apparently, Starbucks doesn't believe in simplicity. It believes in choice.I walk up to the counter.SalesGirl: "Hi! Welcome to Starbucks. What can I get you this morning?"Me: "I'd like a Coffee please"The salesgirl behind the counter looks surprised, like no one has ever asked for a simple coffee before.SalesGirl: "Hmmm...OK. What kind of coffee would you like?"Ah! The famous American consumer choice. I know a little bit of coffee, so I know the answer to that question.M...

Exercise - Part 2
2007-08-30 19:38:00
There's a lot of hype floating around about healthy food and good exercise and things like that. Apparently, just 20 minutes of aerobic exercise makes you 30% less likely to get a heart attack. Also, it keeps you fit, prevents hair loss, gives you X-ray vision and doubles your broadband download speed . Plus, it's all over internet. And as we all know, because it is on the internet, it must be true. That's the nature of the internet.In summary, exercise now, spending 20 minutes of my prime youth so that I can live 1 extra hour when I'm old, weak and can't see or hear anything. That seems like a good deal.And so, I go off and click on one of those 'Want a healthy lifestyle? Click here to loose weight now. Free trial, No Diets!' ads. No diets? Interesting. But the page it takes me to has a bunch of jumping monkeys that I need to punch, a Nigerian Prince asking for my Bank Account numbers and a very well argued article saying how this stock is going to double in a few days. But ...
More About: Exercise , Part

Brilliant Answer
2007-08-29 16:43:00
I usually don't blog about current affairs (that's because I usually have no idea what's happening in the world), but this video on YouTube caught me today. It's brilliant. Just listen to the deep, insightfull answer that this beauty queen has to offer.Watched it? I'll wait till you finish. Done? OK.I felt very nostalgic after watching this video. That was me, before I discovered the joys of Jargoneese. This chic really needs a lesson from Professor Aditya, if you know what I'm sayingAnyway, this girl finished 4th. She juuuusstt missed the 3rd place crown. Can you believe that? After giving that answer! That can mean only one thing. The judges had no idea either. They were probably looking for some keywords in the answer (like "US", "education", "build our future" etc...). Much like the VTU "model answers".The point I'm trying to make is that these Beauty Pageants are not very different from Engineering Exams. No one knows what the questions mean, the same few keywords can be...
More About: Answer , Brilliant

Career Choices
2007-08-28 18:45:00
When I was little, I wanted to be a Bus Conductor. I passionately wanted the job. Just imagine! Riding in a bus all day, everyday. And playing around with all that small change! I loved the sound the coins made when the conductor shuffled the purse looking for change.I still remember discussing my career plans with my Dad.Me: "Dad, I want to be a Bus Conductor when I grow up"Dad (from behind a newspaper): "Very good. Very ambitious."Me: "Yeah. Then I will have lots of coins. I will be rich!"Dad: "Why don't you try to become something where you'll get lots of notes instead?"Me: "I don't like notes. They don't make a nice sound. I like coins better."Dad: "You have a very bright future ahead."I wanted to be Train Driver, Restaurant Waiter, Cricket Batsman, Telephone lineman, Pilot and Nuclear Physicist at various points during my schooling years. Years later, when it finally came down to joining an Engineering course, I decided to do Software Engineering, simply because they seeme...
More About: Career , Choices

Packing for the Wife
2007-08-27 19:03:00
It's 15th of August, and the wife is packing her bags. She's going to The America for 4 weeks. And I'm celebrating Independence Day right here in Bangalore. Anyway, she's "encouraging" me to help her pack all her stuff. Unfortunately for her, there's a Rakhi Sawant "Top 10 songs" special on Channel V, which I absolutely have to watch.Wife , screaming from inside: "Come here and help me fold all these Salwar Kameezes"Me, grunting: "But there is a special program on TV!"Wife: "What are you watching, anyway?"Me: "Hmmm? Oh, It's a discovery channel special. About wild cats. And how they stalk their prey."Wife: "Is that more important than me?"That, as I've come to learn very quickly, is a checkmate. That question has no answer. It's a rhetorical that basically translates to "Come here this instant or I will kill you."I drudgingly go into the room where there are more clothes than I've ever seen in my life. They're all over the place, like flood waters after a deadly storm.Me: ...
More About: Packing

Spelings And Gramer
2007-08-25 20:04:00
Thank you everybody for correcting my spelings and grammer.This is not new to me. I've always had trouble with spellings. Over the years, I've learnt to take criticism very well - I ignore it.If you thought my spellings were bad, you haven't seen my handwriting yet. My regular handwriting looks like this:This one time in school, the teacher gave us so much homework that I decided to mount a protest. I wrote the homework in such pathetic handwriting, that even by my own low standards, the handwriting was pretty bad. I was satisfied with the end result - My homework looked like the Indus Valley Script - Completely indecipherable.I submitted the homework, and the next day, the teacher actually called out on me.Teacher: "Class, Aditya has done such a good job with his homework, that I am going to ask him to come out and read it out so that all off you can learn from it."Me: "Eh? The teacher liked my homework? I know she taught history, but can she really read the Indus Valley Script...
More About: Gram

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