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Cartoon - 19 August 2007
2007-08-19 18:01:00
Today's post is a Cartoon ! If you can't see the image, please click here.Cartoon illustrated by naveen. Copyright © 2007, Aditya Kulkarni. All rights reserved. Thanks for reading! For more wanderings, visit http://www.pointlesswanderings.com/. Click on the title to comment. Copyright © 2007, Aditya Kulkarni. All rights reserved.
More About: August , August 2007

Cartoon - 18 August 2007
2007-08-18 19:00:00
Today's post is a Cartoon ! If you can't see the image, please click here.Cartoon illustrated by naveen. Copyright © 2007, Aditya Kulkarni. All rights reserved. Thanks for reading! For more wanderings, visit http://www.pointlesswanderings.com/. Click on the title to comment. Copyright © 2007, Aditya Kulkarni. All rights reserved.
More About: August , August 2007

The flight from Hell
2007-08-17 16:28:00
"Welcome to American Airlines flight 2383, non-stop service from Delhi to Chicago. This is your captain speaking. Due to unfavorable winds, our flight time today will be 15 hours 30 minutes.""Unfavorable winds? What does the captain think he's doing? Wind Surfing?" I say, trying to make a poor attempt at conversation with the dude sitting next to my precious window seat."Yes, yes! Wind surfing. Quite the adventure sport that is!" My neighbor says, obviously not interested in the joke."I don't know about you, but I really don't want my pilot to be an adventure sports-type of person, eh?" I say.This dude just nods his head, and turns to his iPod.15 and a half hours? That's a bit long. Maybe I should have got something to read during the flight. Won't I get bored?2 hrs later:I'm bored out of my skull. I thought a window seat will be pretty cool, I'll be able to stare outside throughout the flight. But all the clouds look exactly the same. It gets tiring after a while. And this s...
More About: Hell , Flight

Detective Danger
2007-08-16 16:25:00
The foggy mist was coming through the window. Then again, it might have been Bangalore's pollution. Bangalore and I go back a long time, we have a lot in common. Especially booze and weirdos. I'm Detective Danger . I'm a private detective. Brains for hire. This is my town.The town was especially kind this morning. It sent me a good case to investigate. Slender, 5 feet 9, dark blue jeans and a top that hugged her like my ex-wife hugged my ex-fortune. Slim legs riding on 3-inch Louis Vuitton heels. And she was hiding something behind that swaying walk. I've always been good at figuring out dames. That?s half of a good detective.?Hi, my name is?? The dame wanted to write the opening scene. Not in my story, sweetie. I knew what she was going to say anyway, so I thought I?d help her with the script.?I know who you are?, I said. She stalled, surprised at my confidence. I have that effect on women.?You do?? The dame looked surprised.?Yes, ma?am. The name?s Danger?, I said, offering m...

Round and Round
2007-08-15 16:45:00
Announcer Guy: ?Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to the 2008 Miss WORLD!?--Loud cheers and thunderous applause--Announcer Guy: ?We will begin the contest with the Question and Answer round. Leading our panel of judges today is the great, the inimitable, the one and only? ADITYA KULKARNI?--Even Louder Cheers and wild, thunderous applause. Sounds of girls screaming--Announcer Guy: ?Our first contestant is Rakhi Savant! Yes, Mr. Kulkarni. What question do you have for the lovely lady??Me: ?Hello Beautiful! My question is: ?If you had to chose between me and SuperMan, who would you chose and why???Rakhi Savant: ?I would definitely choose?Good Morning!?There?s confusion everywhere. Everyone is wondering what?s happening.Me: ?Excuse me??Rakhi Savant: ?Wake up, it?s 6 in the morning!?Suddenly, everything goes dark. There is only one light at a very far distance. The light starts coming closer and closer, and all of a sudden, floods my vision. I?m struggling to open my eyes?Wife: ?Good morning...
More About: Round

Misc: Blog Update
2007-08-15 16:30:00
Hi Everyone. Just wanted to drop by a quick blog update.New! Email DeliveryEnter your email address:Delivered by FeedBurner 1) The RSS feed is now fixed. You should be able to see the entire blog post (And not just the title) in your viewer.2) You can now subscribe to the blog via Email!Just enter your email address into the box in the side bar, and you'll receive the day's post in your inbox, 9AM IST. I usually post 1 a day except Sundays (that's when I'm apologizing to the wife :). No Spam, I promise.3) There is a separate feed for blog comments here. Subscribe to this one to participate in Flame Wars! :) Thanks for reading! For more wanderings, visit http://www.pointlesswanderings.com/. Click on the title to comment. Copyright © 2007, Aditya Kulkarni. All rights reserved.
More About: Misc , Blog , Update

Gyaan Unlimited
2007-08-14 14:42:00
The first time I went to the US, all my relatives came to see me off. I mean ALL of them. Uncles and aunties, their friends, the friends' neighbors and their kids and pets. For some reason, all of them felt that it was their responsibility to share the happiness of my ?achievement? of going to ?The America?. The environment in my house that day was like that of a wedding.All the gathered people also felt it was their moral obligation to give me all advice they could. Starting with my grandma. She?s never been on a plane before, but that doesn?t stop her from dishing out DOs and DON?Ts.Grandma: ?Be careful, don?t put your hand outside the window, the planes go very fast. After you reach, the first thing you should do is to go to a temple. Are there any temples there??Cousin: ?Yes. Lots of them in Las Vegas. Very holy city!?Grandma: ?Good. Go to there immediately and offer a pooja. OK??Me: ?I definitely will. Thanks for the permission!?An aunt of mine grabs me by the hand and takes m...
More About: Unlimited , Limite

Cartoon - 14 August 2007
2007-08-14 03:22:00
There are two posts today! The second one is below. If you can't see the image, please click here.Cartoon illustrated by naveen. Copyright © 2007, Aditya Kulkarni. All rights reserved. Thanks for reading! For more wanderings, visit http://www.pointlesswanderings.com/. Click on the title to comment. Copyright © 2007, Aditya Kulkarni. All rights reserved.
More About: August , August 2007

Usefull Talents
2007-08-14 02:30:00
Some people have all the talent in the world. They have skills that I desperately wished I had. The seemingly useless skillset is, in fact, very valuable if used in the right situations.1. Sleeping on DemandSome people have this rare gift of being able to fall asleep whenever they feel like it. It?s almost like they have a switch ? which they can turn on and presto! Instant Sleep.I had this co-worker who was a master of this skill. He had a manager in the US, and used to frequently have late-night conf calls with him. One time, during a one-on-one:Manager: ?We?ve decided to outsource this module.?Dude: ?OK??Manager: ?We need you to come up with an outsourcing proposal detailing all the user-requirements into a design document. Can you get it ready next week???silence? Dude has fallen asleepManager: ?Hello? Hello! Are you there? Hello! Hello!?Dude: ?Hmm? What? Oh! I didn?t catch the last part. Could you please repeat it??Manager: ?Sure! We have to come up with an outsourcing design d...
More About: Talents , Tale , Lent

Cartoon - 13 August 2007
2007-08-13 03:18:00
It's time for cartoons again! If you can't see the image, please click here.Cartoon illustrated by naveen. Copyright © 2007, Aditya Kulkarni. All rights reserved. Thanks for reading! For more wanderings, visit http://www.pointlesswanderings.com/. Click on the title to comment. Copyright © 2007, Aditya Kulkarni. All rights reserved.
More About: August , August 2007

A Day with the Nerds
2007-08-11 03:09:00
Back in College, our class was divided into 3 distinct categories.The first category, I called the "Nerd Circle". These were the guys that sat in the first bench everyday, got the highest marks and were preparing for the IIT entrance. Daily morning conversation in this circle was along these lines:Nerd#1: "Did you guys do all the math problems from yesterday?"Nerd#2: "Yeah. I finished all of them in 35 minutes"Nerd#3: "Hah! I even did the next chapter's problems"The second category, to which I belong, was the "middle class". We were the guys who were vaguely aware that a good education might help us get jobs in the future, but didn't stress it. Daily morning conversation in this section of the class was:middleclass guy#1: "Did you watch the match yesterday?"middleclass guy#2: "Yeah. Sachin's 100 was too good!"middleclass guy#3: "But the moron umpite gave Ganguly LBW. It was clearly outside the leg stump"I called the third category "the cool people!". These were the rich kids, who...

My Bollywood movie
2007-08-10 03:08:00
My ultimate ambition is to write a Bollywood Movie . I've been working on scripts for several years, and here, for your reading pleasure, is my latest script.Script--------Rich Heroine is in love with poor Hero. But dad doesn't agree because Hero is poor.Hero wins lottery, asks Heroine & her dad to get lost, goes partying with friends to Goa instead.At the party, Hero meets Heroine#2, and they fall in love.Love song shot at Niagara falls.At the end of the song, Hero trips over his shoelace and falls into the Niagara falls.Heroine#2 says "bummer!" and finds another Hero #2.Hero #2's mom doesn't like Heroine#2, threatens to kill her.Hero #2's mom gives supari to gundas , gives them their photo, asks gundas to kill Heroine #2.Big bad gundas chase Hero#2.Car chase through the streets of Shanghai.Hero#2's car gets punctured. Gunda catches up with Hero#2, but realizes the girl is not with Hero#2 in the car.Head gunda apologizes for wasting Hero#2's time. Hero#2 and Head gunda exchan...
More About: Olly

Cooking @ Home (Part 2)
2007-08-09 03:21:00
This is the second part of a series. The first part is here.Harry Potter has this really cool toy that I'd love to have. I think it's called the invisibility cloak. You can put it on and simply disappear. I desperately needed one of those because my Vegetable Hydrabadi Biryani was looking more like a bomb than like food. I needed an escape plan.I evaluated the situation and concluded that my options at this point were:Option 1:Throw the mess out of the window, and say "I ate it all because it tasted so good" and hope the wife buys it.Option 2:Run across the hall, out of the door into the street, and go into hiding for a few months.At this point, option 2 seems more attractive. Just as I'm trying to see if the front door is bolted, the wife finishes talking on the phone, and is coming back into the kitchen.Me: "No no....Why don't you call all your other friends?"Wife: "What's that smell?"Me: "That's my new deodorant. Do you like it?"Wife: "Something is burning!"Me: "That's you...
More About: Cooking , Home , Part , Cookin

Cooking @ Home (Part 1)
2007-08-08 02:42:00
The wife decides that we don't eat at home enough, and so we're going to cook for ourselves today.Me: "Do you really want to cook? Can't we just order pizza?"Wife: "No! I'm going to cook, and you're going to help me."Me: "Are you sure?"Wife: "Of course. What could possibly go wrong?"And so, according to the commander-in-chief's orders, we get started. The wife decides that we are going to make "Vegetable Hydrabadi Biryani". That's because that is the first recipe in the "Cookin g for Dummies" book.Wife: "OK, it says here that we need to 'cut into fine pieces onions, tomatoes and some capsicum'. You can start with the cutting, while I start boiling water.""I'm just slave labor. This should be illegal." I mumble under my breath."What did you just say?" the wife asks suspiciously."Nothing, I said the boiled water smells delicious!" I say with some sarcasm. The wife gives me a fleeting 'THE LOOK'.I get to the cutting. My first victim is going to be a tomato. This is my first ...
More About: Home , Part

Why did the chicken cross the road?
2007-08-07 03:03:00
"Why did the chicken cross the road?" This question has haunted the people of earth for centuries now, and we asked a cross section of the people from the IT industry about their views on the subject."Why did the chicken cross the road?"Intern:"I don't really know. My chicken is not compiling. It says something about "road not found". Can you please help?"Fresher just out of college:"Chics? Where where?"2-year experience Software Developer:"To go onsite, of course. All the other chickens from my company have already gone onsite. Mera number kab aayega?"Project Manager:"All these chicken cross the road to go onsite and just fly off from there. The road seems to be a one-way."HR Director:"A lot of chicken are crossing the roads these days. We are confident that we can keep all our chickens, since we have the best training programs for associate chickens. We are the most admired chicken farm in the whole country!"CEO:"My fellow Chicken s, the road presents interesting challenges that w...
More About: Cross , Road , The Road

Cartoon - 6 Aug 2007
2007-08-06 02:30:00
It's Monday, and time for cartoons! If you can't see the image, please click here.Cartoon illustrated by naveen. Copyright © 2007, Aditya Kulkarni. All rights reserved. Thanks for reading! For more wanderings, visit http://www.pointlesswanderings.com/. Click on the title to comment. Copyright © 2007, Aditya Kulkarni. All rights reserved.

75% attendance
2007-08-03 13:00:00
"Come on man, bunk this class. Let's go play snooker" said Prakash*"No da...I have only 74.65% attendance. This class will bring it to 75.3%. I need this period's attendance""Oh man! OK, I'll see if I can find someone else for snooker today. We need one more player"It's 1st year of Pre University College. I need to sit through the class to up my attendance to the minimum required 75% to get the hall ticket for the exam. I reluctantly walk into the class as my buddies push off to yet another game of snooker.It's Chemistry class. Our Chemistry lecturer has two very special qualities. He has a squint, and he refers to everyone as "you". He's just finished taking the attendance of all the 100 people in the class. As soon as he starts teaching, everyone gets back to chatting in class, because the most important part of the lecture is over."Why are you making so much talk? You there! Stand up!" the lecturer yells, pointing in our general direction. 6 of us stand up."Not you. You! Th...

Best Wedding Gift
2007-08-02 15:47:00
A friend of mine gave me this T-shirt as a wedding gift. Thanks for reading! For more wanderings, visit http://www.pointlesswanderings.com/. Click on the title to comment. Copyright © 2007, Aditya Kulkarni. All rights reserved.
More About: Wedding , Gift

Going to the Movies
2007-08-01 17:33:00
My wife and I are discussing which movie to go to on a Saturday morning.Me: "Pirates of the Caribbean looks like a really good movie. Lets go watch it."Wife: "I don't want to watch the gooey aliens"Me: "No no...this one is about Pirates. You might like it!"Wife: "I think we should go to Aap ka Suroor"Me: "That Himesh Reshamiya movie? Isn't he the guy that wears the hat all the time? That's probably because he's got a big bald head underneath."I'm laughing to myself, but my wife doesn't find it funny.Wife: "Come on, let's go to that one. It'll be a good movie."Me: "Lets not. It'll suck the life out of my soul."Wife: "Don't be such a spoil sport. Remember the last movie I took you to?"Me: "Yeah. Aap mujhe aache lagne lage. It was a near-death experience. I remember distinctly: I got so bored that my brain forgot to ask my heart to keep beating. It was like going through a dark tunnel, and there was a light at the end of it. I crawled towards the light..."Wife throws a pillow...
More About: Movies , The Movies , Going , Goin

Adityaism: World's latest religion
2007-07-31 18:01:00
I've been working on creating a new religion. It's currently in pre-release alpha, send me email if you want to be notified when it releases for public beta. My religion has been designed from scratch to be easy to use and adopt, and the Total Cost of Ownership is pretty low (membership fee is only 2000 bucks).Here are some of the Core Values:Procrastination: Doing things NOW is bad. "Now" is better when it is in the distant, unseeable future. Avoid doing work as much as possible. Push deadlines as far as you can. Eventually, the person who cares most about it will do it. Your goal is to not be that person.Money over Matter: You've heard of mind over matter. This is the next level. In a nutshell, this means you have to be extremely kanjoos. Get phone calls when everyone is paying up for the movie tickets, look busy and ask someone else to pay. Look the other way when the waiter brings the bill to the table. You get extra karma if you steal the tip meant for the waiter.No Hard Wor...
More About: Religion

Meeting her parents (Part 2)
2007-07-30 13:08:00
This is the second part of a series. The first part is here.I'm sitting inside my girl friends' house, and her parents are evaluating if I'm the right kind of guy for their daughter. I'm frozen with fear, but making my best effort to look normal.Her Dad scans me from top to bottom. He looks disapprovingly at my T-shirt. I'm praying that there is an earthquake or a terrorist attack so that I can run away screaming, but my good luck is really bad, so no help there."So, what are your hobbies?", her Dad asks me.Dammit, I forgot to prepare for that question. I had prepared answers for "What kind of work do you do?", "What is your investment strategy?" and "Do you drink or smoke?", but this question caught me unprepared. It was so much better in college exams, where you had to answer only 5 of the 8 questions asked. I suddenly start missing these exams, the first time ever."I play chess", I blurt out.I've never played chess in my life. Not once. Chess always seemed like a depressing...
More About: Parents , Part , Meeting , Parent , Pare

Cartoon - 30 July 2007
2007-07-29 18:30:00
Today's post is a Cartoon strip. If you can't see it, click here.Cartoon illustrated by Navin. Copyright © 2007, Aditya Kulkarni. All rights reserved. Thanks for reading! For more wanderings, visit http://www.pointlesswanderings.com/. Click on the title to comment. Copyright © 2007, Aditya Kulkarni. All rights reserved.
More About: July 2007 , July

Meeting her parents (Part 1)
2007-07-28 04:30:00
After my Girlfriend and I decided to get married, it was time for the inevitable - Time for me to meet her parents.To say I was terrified was an understatement. As the day came closer, I started imagining all kinds of doomsday scenarios that seemed very probable at that time:"What if your Dad asks me 'Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?' ""What if your Mom asks me if garam masala should be put in Sambar?""What if they ask me to code a recursive factorial in Java, and I mess it up?""Don't worry. My parents are really nice people, they just want to meet you", my GF tried to reassure me. But I didn't believe her. That's what the heroines in the movies always say, and before you know it, the soon-to-be-pop-in-law is chasing you with a gun. Case in point: Hritik Roshan in Kaho na pyaar hai.I was not prepared for this at all, but D-day arrived anyway. T-2 hours: I'm a nervous wreck. Suddenly it hits me: "What should I wear?"That's the first time ever I've asked that questi...
More About: Parents , Part , Meeting , Parent , Pare