Upset WaitressUpset WaitressRants and raves from an upset waitress. Articles
Heinz Sight 20/20
2007-11-27 01:16:00 I know it’s in there. I can see it. I can feel it. When I put the lid on it and shake it. I can hear it. Why won’t it come out? I have beaten it. Shaken it. I’ve rolled it from one end of the restaurant to the other. ... More About: Heinz , Sight
A Queer Day.
2007-11-26 01:39:00 Today I had two drag queens sit in my section. It was like they were having a lisp off. “I’ll have the fruit thalad”. “Perhapths the thoop and a thalad”. “You know I’ll juthst have the thalsbury thstake”. “That thouds good but I think I’m going to try the fillet of thole and thweet potatoeths and ... More About: Customers
The Great Spamon Run.
2007-11-25 02:13:00 Every fall starts the life cycle of the Spamon. The eggs of the Spamon hatch in early fall. They follow the river currents to the ocean. There they are carried on the tides for several years. Only after reaching full maturity will they return to the very rivers and streams that they were hatched. Many ... More About: Great , The G
Name That Stain.
2007-11-24 02:37:00 I wish restaurants wouldn’t use linen napkins. What the f**k is that stain. Is it ketchup or grease? Could it be mustard or mayo? I hate to think what the buss-boy was doing before he put it on the table. Maybe the exterminator ran out of poison and had to use them to squish all ...
Thanksgiving Bonus
2007-11-23 01:35:00 Todays specials are. Gobble waffles, Turkey eggs, Turkey bacon, and fresh baked green bean casserole rolls. Open faced turkey sandwich, turkey burgers, turkey and vegetable, or cream of wing soup. For the sea food lovers we have fillet of drum stick. For dessert we have foul flan, dutch coco giblets, and gravy ice cream. ... More About: Thanksgiving , Bonus , Hank
The Drunken Cook Does a Christmas Carol.
2007-11-22 02:10:00 Today the cook decided he should practice for his Christmas concert. This is a special concert for his neighbors, performed live from his shower and for a grand final he sings Silent Night nude in the hallway. He started with “shitty sided wads, busisi sided walks, dresses in hololidaay smile, it’s christenest timeininine and it’ ... More About: Carol , Cook , A Christmas Carol , Cooks
Another Waitress Nightmare
2007-11-21 01:40:00 It was new years eve 3215. I was hanging out in the Dick Clark Memorial Bar, Grill and Band Stand in Times Square. I ordered buffalo style Glarnig spines. This was the first year they were going to lower the Empire State Building. Everyone ran naked through the streets. I had just won the lottery. ... More About: Servers , Nightmare , Wait , Waitress
Watch Your Kids. Or Else?.
2007-11-20 01:36:00 Little Jimmy came running through the restaurant at a blinding speed. He had his younger sister Nelly by the hair. She was kicking and screaming. Close behind was William, Mary, Pedro and Dave throwing paper napkins and flatware at each other. Mary had a fork in her eye and a steak knife in her hand. ... More About: Watch , Kids , Customers
Tail Gating Entries III
2007-11-19 12:02:00 Everyone?s life has gotta end some time, right? Fact of life and all that. Death and taxes. But you hope you have a long and somewhat happy life, or at least that you don?t see it coming. And unless you?re suicidal, you definitely try not to win a Darwin Award by doing something stupid to ... More About: Tail , Trie
Sole Food Sandwich.
2007-11-18 23:09:00 This is one of the most unique luncheon items sold anywhere. First you start with your favorite bread. It is important to remember that a firmer bread like sourdough or pumpernickle works best for this oddly delicious sandwich. Next comes the innards. A delicate balance of moist and dry meats and vegetables is important. For ... More About: Food , Sandwich , Sole
The Return of the Snow Bird.
2007-11-16 21:56:00 Every Autumn the birds fly south for the winter. The snow bird is no exception. The snow bird is featherless, flightless, brain dead critter with no conscience. It is a master of consumption and waste. They consume my air and waste my time. A flock of snow birds can completely destroy a town or village ... More About: Customers , Snow , Return , The Return , Bird
TaTa?s as Tips - More Fantasy Fest Pics
2007-11-15 00:40:00 I will have you know that on Halloween weekend every male server is tearing down wood. Daisy Duke eat your heart out. It is not rare to see short shorts. However, it is rare to see them painted on. This gal is full frontal nekkid. Now thats a rack to be played with. I guess ... More About: Tips , Fantasy , Fest , Tata
Everybodies Fantasy ?Fest?
2007-11-14 01:57:00 I have had to serve some of the strangest people days prior to Halloween. I took some pictures outside the restaurant. I couldn’t take pictures of all the people because the camera threw up. This is what you get when the air brush artist has had one too many rum runners. This is what ... More About: Fantasy , Customers , Fest , Bodie
Patrons Pinching Pennies
2007-11-12 23:24:00 It’s almost here. The holidays are upon us. Another season of indecisive idiots burned out on shopping for that perfect gift. They quibble over the cost of an extra piece of toast. Then they argue over whether or not they should spring for the sweet tea or stick with the water and lemon. Of ... More About: Customers
France. We Come From France.
2007-11-12 03:12:00 O.K. Let me start by saying I appreciate many things that have come to this country from Franc e . However, I can’t say the same for the French tourists. I am not sure if it is because they hate Americans or if they feel a sense of entitlement having come from such a beautiful ... More About: Customers
Todays Special is January Molasses
2007-11-11 02:33:00 Slow, slow, slow!!! I hate slow days. Today must have been one of the slowest. I cleaned all the spots off the walls. I cleaned the pattern off the table cloths. The only smell for hours was the hot flat top and crispied mosquito’s in the bug zapper. I pulled ... More About: January , Special
What do your Feet say about you?
2007-11-09 08:20:00 That chair is for your seat, not for your feet. I do not want to see your bunion covered fungusy feet while taking your order sir/ma’am. After your face, they are the least presentable thing about you. Didn’t your parents teach you table manners? Is this really acceptable in America, to put ... More About: Customers , Feet
What do your Feet say about you?
2007-11-09 08:20:00 That chair is for your seat, not for your feet. I do not want to see your bunion covered fungusy feet while taking your order sir/ma’am. After your face, they are the least presentable thing about you. Didn’t your parents teach you table manners? Is this really acceptable in America, to put ... More About: Customers , Feet
What Was That?
2007-11-08 00:56:00 Holy crap! I think it bit me. Look out! Here it comes again. Did you see those teeth? Teeth? What about it’s claws? It’s ripping up the kitchen. Do something! RUN! I’ll throw this knife at it. Damn that pissed it off. Ooooooh! ...
What Was That?
2007-11-08 00:56:00 Holy crap! I think it bit me. Look out! Here it comes again. Did you see those teeth? Teeth? What about it’s claws? It’s ripping up the kitchen. Do something! RUN! I’ll throw this knife at it. Damn that pissed it off. Ooooooh! ...
The Restaurant Cat.
2007-11-07 03:46:00 Cats are loved all over the world. However the restaurant felines are some of the most noted. The restaurant cat has many jobs. One of it’s most important jobs is to rid the kitchen of rodents and bugs. Except in the Chinese restaurants, then they are free range herds of wild spare ribs ... More About: Restaurant
The Restaurant Cat.
2007-11-07 03:46:00 Cats are loved all over the world. However the restaurant felines are some of the most noted. The restaurant cat has many jobs. One of it’s most important jobs is to rid the kitchen of rodents and bugs. Except in the Chinese restaurants, then they are free range herds of wild spare ribs ... More About: Restaurant
The Hangover.
2007-11-05 16:42:00 Last night I had a tad too much to drink. I say a tad. What I mean is I was so drunk I said yes to my boyfriend. I think. Anyway when I arrived at work I was still tore up. My hair was tangled and matted. My clothes were slept in to save time ... More About: Hangover
The Hangover.
2007-11-05 16:42:00 Last night I had a tad too much to drink. I say a tad. What I mean is I was so drunk I said yes to my boyfriend. I think. Anyway when I arrived at work I was still tore up. My hair was tangled and matted. My clothes were slept in to save time ... More About: Hangover
The Question.
2007-11-04 01:26:00 Every damn day some moron that can barely work his or her fork without poking out an eye asks who am I going to vote for. First let’s say: Does it really matter who I’m voting for? One or the other of the two parties that have hijacked our country and sold it, and us ... More About: Question
The Question.
2007-11-04 01:26:00 Every damn day some moron that can barely work his or her fork without poking out an eye asks who am I going to vote for. First let’s say: Does it really matter who I’m voting for? One or the other of the two parties that have hijacked our country and sold it, and us ... More About: Question
Meet the Busboy
2007-11-03 01:00:00 Let me describe to you our busboy. He is short and round. His English is horrible. His Spanish is worse. French? None. German? Nine. Not one discernable word from any language on earth. He always smells like Tequila and cheese. His hair is in a pony tail, and is in most of your food. ... More About: Meet
Meet the Busboy
More articles from this author:2007-11-03 01:00:00 Let me describe to you our busboy. He is short and round. His English is horrible. His Spanish is worse. French? None. German? Nine. Not one discernable word from any language on earth. He always smells like Tequila and cheese. His hair is in a pony tail, and is in most of your food. ... More About: Meet 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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