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Today in Momma News.
2008-01-10 22:01:00 This in from the AP: DES MOINES, Iowa ? Jane Hambleton has dubbed herself the “meanest mom on the planet.” After finding alcohol in her son’s car, she decided to sell the car and share her 19-year-old’s misdeed with everyone ? by placing an ad in the local newspaper. The ad reads: “OLDS 1999 Intrigue. Totally uncool parents ... More About: News , Today , Momma
How Yo Momma blog posts get written.
2008-01-09 20:00:00 1) Open Wikipedia. Hit “random article” until it lands on something reasonable. 2) Plug the topic into the Yo Momma website search engine. 3) Find something that’s spelled close to right. Hope it’s funny. 4) Post. So today, we land on England, and the only joke that comes up is: Well. You win some, you lose some. addthis_url ... More About: News , Blog , Posts , Written
Sad Momma.
2008-01-09 10:43:00 We’re going back to the historical mothers for a while, because the holidays have left me tired. Not all important mommas did killing or scolding. Queen Anne of England was bad at being a momma, not because she hollered or tried to use food stamps to send mail, but because she had terrible luck. When ... More About: News , Momma
The 12 Days of Dozens: Finale
2008-01-08 08:36:00 On the twelfth day of Christmas Yo Momma gave to me: Twelve herpes breakouts, Eleven Mickey’s 40s, Ten expired food stamps, Nine cans of Alpo, Eight stolen cell phones, Seven preemie infants, Six bum lotto tickets, Five rocks of meth! Four busted condoms, Three tapeworms, Two packs of Skoal, And a syringe laced with HIV! Hope y’all had a mommalicious Epiphany. And with the end of the 12 ... More About: News , Finale , Days
The 12 Days of Dozens: Day 9
2008-01-04 21:13:00 On the ninth day of Christmas Yo Momma gave to me: Nine cans of Alpo, Eight stolen cell phones, Seven preemie infants, Six bum lotto tickets, Five rocks of meth! Four busted condoms, Three tapeworms, Two packs of Skoal, And a syringe laced with HIV! Sure, Christmas is over, but the humor never dies: addthis_url = 'http%3A%2F%2Fyomomma.tv%2Fblog%2F2008%2F 01%2F04%2Fthe-12-days-of-dozens-day-9%2F' ; addthis_title = ... More About: News , Days
The 12 Days of Dozens: Day 8
2008-01-04 03:51:00 On the eighth day of Christmas Yo Momma gave to me: Eight stolen cell phones, Seven preemie infants, Six bum lotto tickets, Five rocks of meth! Four busted condoms, Three tapeworms, Two packs of Skoal, And a syringe laced with HIV! And your joke of the day issss…. addthis_url = 'http%3A%2F%2Fyomomma.tv%2Fblog%2F2008%2F 01%2F03%2Fthe-12-days-of-dozens-day-8%2F' ; addthis_title = 'The+12+Days +of+Dozens%3A+Day+8'; addthis_pub ... More About: News
The 12 Days of Dozens: Day 7
2007-12-28 05:32:00 On the seventh day of Christmas Yo Momma gave to me: Seven preemie infants, Six bum lotto tickets, Five rocks of meth! Four busted condoms, Three tapeworms, Two packs of Skoal, And a syringe laced with HIV! Man, I think I made even myself a little uncomfortable with that one. addthis_url = 'http%3A%2F%2Fyomomma.tv%2Fblog%2F2007%2F 12%2F28%2Fthe-12-days-of-dozens-day-7%2F' ; addthis_title = 'The+12+Days +of+Dozens%3A+Day+7'; ... More About: News
The 12 Days of Dozens: Day 6
2007-12-25 05:05:00 On the sixth day of Christmas Yo Momma gave to me: Six bum lotto tickets, Five rocks of meth! Four busted condoms, Three tapeworms, Two packs of Skoal, And a syringe laced with HIV! Merry Christmas Eve, y’all. On this ostensibly holy night, the YoMomma.tv jokesters get a little predictably salacious… addthis_url = 'http%3A%2F%2Fyomomma.tv%2Fblog%2F2007%2F 12%2F25%2F118%2F'; addthis_title = ... More About: News , Days
The 12 Days of Dozens: Day 5
2007-12-21 20:44:00 On the fifth day of Christmas Yo Momma gave to me: Five rocks of meth! Four busted condoms, Three tapeworms, Two packs of Skoal, And a syringe laced with HIV! Did he take it there? Did he cross the meth line? Oh. Oh. He did. Consider that line crossed with a smokin’ lightbulb. And speaking of methamphetamine abuse, let’s see what those ... More About: News , Days
The 12 Days of Dozens: Day 4
2007-12-20 20:38:00 On the fourth day of Christmas Yo Momma gave to me: Four busted condoms, Three tapeworms, Two packs of Skoal, And a syringe laced with HIV! (I’m building it up, day by day, to gradually imply that your mother is not what we colloquially refer to as a “classy broad.”) Now, do the minions of Momma at the Yo Momma homepage ... More About: News , Days
The 12 Days of Dozens: Day 3
2007-12-19 20:30:00 On the third day of Christmas Yo Momma gave to me: Three tapeworms, Two packs of Skoal, And a syringe laced with HIV! Y’all, it only goes up from here. So let’s see what the jokesters on the Yo Momma site have for us in terms of holiday snaps today… …Hmmm. Hey y’all, I have to work with what they give me. Tune ... More About: News , Days
The 12 Days of Dozens: Day 2
2007-12-18 20:16:00 On the first day of Christmas Yo Momma gave to me a syringe laced with HIV! One the second day of Christmas Yo Momma gave to me two packs of Skoal, And a syringe laced with HIV! And now, your funny-time: Hey, little dude. You don’t need to work blue to get laughs. Tune in tomorrow for more momma! ... More About: News , Days
The 12 Days of Dozens: Day 1
2007-12-17 20:08:00 Hey y’all, No, it ain’t exactly the proper time to be starting with a 12 days of Christmas countdown. But it is that general season - you can tell because of all the insufferable commercials - so I think it’s high time we got into the Christmas Spirit, dozens-style, here on the Yo Momma blog. What ... More About: News , Days
The Yo Momma Weekly Roundup!
2007-12-15 09:55:00 Well, this was a decent week in yo momma. We had terrifying pig news, bad geography, and good my-new-thin-momma news. addthis_url = 'http%3A%2F%2Fyomomma.tv%2Fblog%2F2007%2F 12%2F15%2Fthe-yo-momma-weekly-roundup-13% 2F'; addthis_title = 'The+Yo+Momma +Weekly +Roundup %21'; addthis_pub = 'yomomma'; More About: News
Happy independence day!
2007-12-14 12:48:00 If you live in Burkina Faso. I decided that today I’d hunt you up some yo momma jokes to read that are special to today. Hm. No jokes about Burkina Faso. Well, the calendar says it’s also Tango Day! No tango jokes either. Hm. Okay, it’s also the feast of, uh, Pope Damasus the First? Nothing there. Uh… ... More About: News , Happy , Independence , Independence Day
Someone?s momma fights back.
2007-12-13 16:07:00 Poor mommas. They put up with a lot from us, without a word of complaint. We come up with the rudest, sharpest, foulest things we can say about mommas, and they take it. Not all mommas are that patient. In 1492, the kingdom of Grenada was destroyed by the Spanish army. As the king fled, ... More About: News , Fights , Back , Momma , Some
Ha!
2007-12-12 11:39:00 You know, as much as I love talking about mommas, I’ve seen a lot of them over the last few months. I’ve read almost every one on this site, written a lot of my own, and learned all the words to the Pharcyde’s immortal tune, “Ya Mama.” After a while, they’re not as fresh. Bleeding ... More About: News
Special Update!
2007-12-11 12:50:00 We’re taking a break from Mommas of History for a special news update. As I said I was gonna, I went and visited my momma this weekend. Well, guess what, kids? My momma had gone on a diet, which is not new. What was new is that it worked. You heard me. My momma is no ... More About: News , Update , Special
Weekend!
2007-12-07 18:24:00 Three cheers for the weekend! I’m gonna go visit my momma, and I’m gonna say a little prayer of thanks she’s not a poisoning, burning, or stabbing kind of momma. You should go visit or call your own momma this weekend and let her know you love her. Assuming you do love her, of course. If ... More About: News , Weekend
Bad Mothers of the Animal Kingdom - Pigs
2007-12-06 17:18:00 I might have to stop doing these posts, because this one just freaked me out. Mother pigs eat their young. You heard me. They just eat the piglets right up, like unprocessed bacon. Farmers estimate that up to half of all piglet deaths are because of the mother eating them. Now, I know we have some human mommas ... More About: News , Kingdom , Animal , Mothers , Pigs
Evil Momma of History - Medea
2007-12-05 17:36:00 This next evil momma is a legend - both a “not real” legend and a “daaamn, that’s evil” legend. Long before Tyler Perry put on a fat suit and a sundress, Medea was a main lady of Greek myth. She was the daughter of the king of Colchis, and - like people do in these ... More About: News , History , Evil , Momma
Evil Momma of History - Bloody Mary
2007-12-05 04:54:00 I don’t know if this one counts, but y’all will cut me a little slack, right? Mary Tudor had a bad childhood. Her father, Henry VIII, occasionally threatened to kill her, and she had to deal with five stepmothers, one of which was younger than Mary. (She got to see two of them beheaded, though - sort of ... More About: News , History , Evil , Momma
Evil Momma of History - Catherine de Medici
2007-12-05 04:53:00 I had an idea. We’ve spent a lot of time talking about short mommas, fat mommas, ugly mommas, bad-tempered mommas, functionally retarded mommas, and more fat mommas. But what about straight-up, no-kidding, downright evil mommas? We skipped those. Anyway, sharpen your number 2 pencils and pack a lunch, because you’re about to get taken to school, ... More About: News , History , Evil , Catherine , Medici
The Yo Momma Weekly Roundup
2007-12-01 11:40:00 Whooo, another long week gone so very by. I could not be more relieved to be sitting here, typing up this one final capstone before the hedonism and debauchery of the weekend begins (because that’s what weekends are all about, right?). Before we do our recap, I want to remind those Yo Momma battlers reppin’ the ... More About: News , Roundup , Weekly
Get out the vote.
2007-11-30 13:06:00 No, not for the president. We still, thankfully, have got a few months before election season ramps fully up and everything shoots foam out of their mouths for ten or so months until we, as a nation, make a bad decision and have to deal with it for the next four years. I’m talking about - ... More About: News , Vote
Let?s get some creativity up ins!
2007-11-29 11:57:00 Peoples peoples peoples, I am disappointed in you. Yes, you. All of you. Today I clicked over to YoMomma.tv and what was the snap I saw displayed, right there, for all eyes, on the main page? Yo! We can do better than this! That joke is staler than the muffins at the day-old bakery! We have to remember that all ... More About: News , Creativity , Some
Almost seasonally appropriate.
2007-11-27 10:35:00 Hey y’all, Alright, I know Thanksgiving is over and all - and I hope you had an amazing time - but some Thanksgiving Yo Momma snaps occurred to me, and I thought, hell, while it’s fresh on everybody’s minds, let’s roll some out. - Yo momma so fat that when she went to see the Macy’s parade, ... More About: News , Prop
The Yo Momma Weekly Roundup!
2007-11-24 10:15:00 Hey y’all, The week before a holiday is always so exhausting, and the day after is always a mild letdown - kind of like the letdown yo daddy felt after he conceived you, only that wasn’t mild… No, I’m just playing. I hope you’ve all bee stuffing yourselves on leftover turkey and pumpkin pie and other various ... More About: News , Roundup , Weekly , Momma
Happy Thanksgiving!
2007-11-23 00:50:00 Hey y’all, I wanted to just get on here quick to wish y’all a very happy and fulfilling holiday. And if you’re in need of some seasonally appropriate musical accompaniment, may I recommend the R&B classic “Be Thankful for What You Got,” either in its Billy DeVaughn original form or the Massive Attack cover… Now go eat ... More About: News , Thanksgiving , Happy , Hank
Let?s get some reader participation up in here?
More articles from this author:2007-11-22 12:37:00 Hey y’all, This here is a blog, and a blog ain’t got a comments section for nothing - especially a Yo Momma blog. You commenters are a quiet bunch, and to quote a great sage of hip-hop culture, the great Andre 3000, I wanna see y’all on your baddest behavior. Let’s hear some Yo Momma snaps, ... More About: News , Reader , Participation , Some 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 |
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