Comedy Writer in Waiting

RSS Feed Homepage

Articles: 1, 2, 3

Sooty and Weep - Comedy Writing Engines
2009-02-21 12:44:00
Prince Charles hands himself into the British Association of Comedy Writers.I meant “Paki and weep.”A short homage to the glory of Windsor:-SCENE 1INT/DAYTHE HOUSE OF WINDSORPRINCE CHARLES:Now Harry. No more using the word ‘Paki.’PRINCE HARRY:What about Coon?PRINCE CHARLES:Coon is fine. Just don’t film yourself saying it.VOICE:Umama ingane!PRINCE CHARLES:Holy fuck son what’s that?PRINCE HARRY:That’s one of my Zulus.PRINCE CHARLES:I’ve told you before you have to put them back into the wild.PRINCE HARRY:But Dad I’ve only got one Impi left.PRINCE CHARLES:I’m fed up with you recreating Rorke’s Drift every evening, you’re bedroom is a complete tip. For god’s sake this is the nineteenth century.- END -COMEDY WRITING ENGINESWhat do you mean the comedy engine?The comedy writing engine is what drives the comedy, the idea, in whatever writing discipline. At it’s simplest , in the piece above it was Prince Charles , or PC calling a friend ‘Sooty.’It’s funny ...
More About: Writing , Engines

Water-boarding made easy...Now that's Comedy Writing
2009-01-15 22:14:00
Did we go too far? George! George!BIG THANK YOU AND MY 'SERVICE'A big thank you to Gary for sending his stand up ideas for me to laugh at and marvel, yes MARVEL! What was I marvelling? The wondrous bad taste, the use of a sodastream and the possibilities of getting synchronized swimming into the Winter Olympics - "Now over to the Olympic Stadium for synchronized Swimming...under ice."I've been away working on the master plan to take over the internet using words, string, and a false trail of buttered MEPs.Also a big thank you to Mike D Millar for asking my opinion on his writing (it's good by the way. Check him out).An erm.. and a thank you to the nice comment on my entry (is entry the right word) to '...Shitegeist.' Stevie from the TV And a thank you to Russell for his patience. I still have to read his latest sitcom episode ( I need to make time, crumpets, and space for myself and an extra large cat).Normal Service has been RESUMED.Random MixGreen Day v Cliff RichardBullet...
More About: Comedy , Writing , Water , Made , Easy

Employment Prospects for Mr Jonathan Ross and Mr Russell Brand*
2008-11-01 12:22:00
What would you say to a nice job on Radio 2?Works under consideration: 1Current Dominant Thought: Twitter Sit ComsIdeas in my head: 19.17Actors…calling all Actors…ACTORS!I’m in desperate need of some performers to put on my ‘Live Sit Com’ and can I find any? Can I bugger. I’ve looked all over the hills, dales, and ponds of Hertfordshire and found not one. I’ve contacted all the local theatre companies and not one bite.Plan Bz0.12I’ll have to join Shooting People and look at Talent Circle and I may end up paying them….ARSEBISCUITS!S/FX: A SLIPPERY AND SIZZLING SOUND LIKE A LARGE TONGUE BEING DRAGGED OVER A FRESHLY WASHED LINOLEUM FLOORCWiW:Hello?JONATHAN ROSS:I think I can help.CWiW:How can you help me? Have you got a performance company down your trousers?JONATHAN ROSS:Funny you should…CWiW:I said company. Anyway I need someone to entertain a suicide bomber.JONATHAN ROSS:I’m your man.CWiW:He’s over there in the blog next door. Put this dress on, start skipp...
More About: Employment , Jonathan , Brand , Russell , Russell Brand

Sitcom Writing Workshop - The 'Shitegeist'
2008-10-12 18:12:00
Seven Words You SHOULD Say on TelevisionWorks under consideration: 1Current Dominant Thought: Comedy Writing ThrillsIdeas in my head: 9.17Sitcom Writing Workshop s - The ‘Shitegeist’*Had a fab time yesterday with a bunch of sitcom writers at a workshop organized by Ever1sacritic . A big thank you to Simon and Declan especially for making it all happen and creating such a supportive and fun atmosphere. And another big SHOUTING thank you to all the other writers that made the whole day such a pleasure and a ‘Hoot.’THINGS LEARNED- Comedy writing is hard work.- A writer’s work is never done- Reading your work to others is ‘scary’- Cock’ is, well, everywhere…- Avoid multi-story orphanages- Swearing is fun- Talking to other writers is liberating and is now part of the ‘Shitegeist.’I need to take my piece ‘Hitting Things’ and workshop it with some actors and work with them to get the most out of the physical business. I didn’t realize that the work was so visual...

Subject: Secret Policeman’s Ball Congratulations
2008-10-04 12:11:00
Excuse me Sir, were you expecting a bastard?Works under consideration: 0Current Dominant Thought: Comedy Writing DreamsIdeas: 9.1Subject : Secret Policeman’s Ball Congratulations It’s a struggle. Writing comedy is lonely and you never know if you’ve done a good job until you show it to someone and they laugh.I had a big thrill this week. I entered a sketch writing competition for the Secret Policeman’s Ball. Write a pitch in 140 characters. Here’s my entry:-Celebrity water-boarding with Jonathan Ross starts well with David Cameron & a glass of water but ends badly with Sarah Palin gargling the Star-Spangled Banner.And I received this email:-From: Russell BarnesSubject: Secret Policeman’s Ball CongratulationsDate Received: 30 September 10:01 amGood morning and congratulations! Your entry for the Secret Policeman's Ball sketch competition was highly commended by the Ball Writer's Group, which means you've won a DVD of this year's ball - hurrah! Unfortunately for one reas...

Comedy Writing and Using Actors
2008-09-20 16:19:00
Come in...Works under consideration: 0Current Dominant Thought: Comedy Writing for the greater goodIdeas: 1.1Working with actors can be fun. It can also be a complete bastard. It’s fun when they are not pursing their own believe in THEIR ability and a bastard when they try to assert their ego.I worked with friends to put on my own theatre performance. The first time it was sublime as the two friends were talented, listened and contributed to make the piece stronger. The second time the actress walked out on me two weeks before taking a show to the Edinburgh fringe. The third time the show drifted away from me as I resigned control – various reasons…I’m running our of opportunities and so I have to make my own. So what am I going to do…Create my own online comedy publishing empire with a series of web sites showing my work. So I have to recruit a pool of performers (but not their egos), film it, and promote in online on video sites including the uber YouTube.I’ve written ...
More About: Actors

Big Bouncing Comedy
2008-08-16 10:53:00
Alf Garnett - not to be taken internallyWorks under consideration: 1Current Dominant Thought: Woke up smelt the coffee…went back to bedIdeas: 3.280This post carries on with writing for the Every1sacritic competition every1sacritic competition – Minus one dayI’ve sent off my entry, called ‘Hitting Things’ …a band has to pass a test at a call centre to earn enough money for a tour… for the every1sacritic competition (a 15min sit com to be performed live in a competition) and had an acknowledgment. I managed to write the whole thing, from planning, outline, character development, to 2,800 words in seven hours. How did I do that? Because it’s the quickest I’ve ever written anything. I’ve spend more time on the opening line of a sketch. I cut corners, I didn’t have the foundation of all the work I usually put in but I made it. Either I’m getting good at writing or I’ve managed to overcome that writer thing that dwells on the shoulder – Captain Doubt.CAPTAIN D...
More About: Comedy

Sitcom Dance
2008-08-02 14:18:00
BreakfastWorks under consideration: 0Current Dominant Thought: Close to coffee timeIdeas: 1.279This post carries on the writing a sitcom and how to generate ideasCOUNTDOWN TILL every1sacritic competition –12 Days, seven minutesEver1sacritic – THE BRIEF15 min scriptTo be performed LiveMinimal setMinimal actorsTHE LISTIn the last post I mumbled and grumbled on about how to get ideas. Here’s the list I wrote this morning, well less a list, more a squalid collection of thoughts present and borrowing from the past (I’m in a hurry!)1. Pyrate (pirate) impressions2. A real baddie3. Caught in a surprise tableau (I’ll explain later)4. Characters: everyman5. Time Travelling Hotel6. The Agency7. Alf Garnett – Passion!8. Two Active questions9. Historical companion10. Pretending to be an animal (cat impressions)11. Snow White and the 7 Samuarai (it’s been done!)12. Mad, Bad, Glad13. Child, Animal, Machine14. Marketing Agency15. Call Centre16. 3 Guys working for peanuts17. Starting a...
More About: Dance , Sitcom

Kicking Comedy Ideas around till they GIVE IN!
2008-07-26 13:45:00
Now all he needed was a pen and some paperWorks under consideration: 0Current Dominant Thought: Beep…Beep…Beep…Ideas : 0.273This post started with the one previous if you read that one the following may make sense…COUNTDOWN TILL Every1Sarcastic Competition – 21 DaysIDEASDo you want limitless ideas?It’s easyYou may have your own way of creating them. There are hundreds of people writing about creativity, most of them are not worth the absorbency of the paper…Here are a few starting points. If you want to write and never run out of ideas build your own armoury of these weapons/tools. They don’t all work all the time – that’s why you need to build up the armoury, Here are some that work for me.De Bono Any of his books are a good starting point. Look out for list making ideas using plus, minus, Interesting as your headings.What if?The most powerful tool on the planet. What if George Bush was held hostage by Girl Scouts? Just ask yourself What if? (Doesn’t’ alway...
More About: Comedy , Give , Kicking

Comedy Credit Crunch - Just Dub!
2008-07-26 13:17:00
'Once' again and always a clownWorks under consideration: 0Current Dominant Thought: Tracking…tracking…tracking…Ideas: 0Back in the saddle…eMarketing Exam finished and passed – CHECKHealth returned – CHECKCreative Juices – CHECKIdeas – CHECKED OUTBack in the saddle is great but shouldn’t there be a horse underneath? Just a crazy thought from a CRAZY GUY!* **There are three competitions I want to enter (and I have to find out about other writing opportunities) and I want to progress my having my own comedy company.Where to start.Own Company – PUT ON HOLDCompetition 1 Every1Sarcastic – Sit Com. Deadline: 15th AugustCompetition 2 Rise Film screenplay - Film. Deadline: 26th SeptemberCompetition 3 Ice and Fire Amnesty Int. - Play. Deadline: 1st AugustBright and clever writers wouldn’t hesitate. I’ll have to skip the Amnesty competition due to lack of time. I did start the process but time caught up and so it’s ann attempt at the Every1Sarcastic com.I’m wri...
More About: Comedy , Credit , Crunch

Stomach Theatre
2008-06-07 11:56:00
He just sat there...waitingWorks under consideration: 0Current Dominant Thought: Far awaySitcom Character Ideas: 0I’m back from holiday. Well most of me is back. It started well. Ended in hospital with food poisoning. Three days of not-to-bad-hospital-food-well-it-keeps-yo u-alive.Now I have to ponder writing a sit com and creating my own company of performers. Both are at the stage of I WILL OVERCOME!INT/DAYA SUNNY BLOGS/FX A LOW RUMBLE EBBS ACROSS THE BLOGCWiW:Excuse me my stomach is trying to tell me something. What’s that Skippy? Sausage Pasta trapped in the lower bowel? Well me and the boys will be along in a minute with some soothing fluffy coffee and a bun. - END-IDEAS AND HOW TO HAVE THEMSo what shall the sit come be about? Well first the sit com is dead. Yep. Died in the UK some years back. O’ the channels keep putting them on. Star vehicles that sometimes work. But decent sitcoms that everyone talks about? Dead. Good comedy exists but in the main the top terrestrial c...
More About: Theatre , Stomach

100 Comedy George W Bushes Chest Complaints
2008-05-24 12:54:00
The Chest Complaint looked paleWorks under consideration: 0Current Dominant Thought: My lungs are made of wood.I’ve been away. First studying for a Internet-Thing Exam. Second because I fell foul of a serious chest complaint.CHEST COMPLAINT:I told you I was ill!*I’ve just noted that I have sent out exactly 100 pieces of work for consideration since the start of 2007 and the result is exactly ‘0.’**Still I’ve got my health, most of my hair,*** and a few good teeth for chewing on comedy producers.CHEST COMPLAINT:And a noxious cough! You idiot!CWiW:I told you I’m only going to smoke incense sticks from now on. No more tar, just a sense of harmony. Next on the list is writing a 15 min Sit Com for a competition: Every1sacritic and resurrecting the idea of my own Comedy Company to do live stuff and film for Youtube, Comedybox etc.Writing a SitcomI’ve written three sitcoms and done nothing with them. Now it’s time to get my work in front of Big Bad Comedy Producers, MAKE M...
More About: George W , George

Just Popped in...
2008-04-05 10:27:00
JimKin viewed the spotlight with suspicionWorks under consideration: 7Current Dominant Thought: They’ll be a joke along in a minuteJIM:It’s a mite dusty in hereA TUMBLEWEED BLOWS ACROSS THE DUSTY BLOG. A SAND GERBIL SCUTTLES THROUGH THE TORN CORNER OF THE PAGE AND INTO NEXT DOOR’S BLOG ‘BEPPE GRILLO'JIM (CONT.):Those were the days.JIM SIGHS AND LOOKS AROUND THE COBWEBBED WALLS OF HIS MIGHTY BLOG. HE PICKS UP THE TORN CORNER OF AN OLD POST ‘Quentin Tarantino woes Jane Austen over a pint of Bitter’JIM SIGHS AGAINJIM (CONT.):If only I’d joined Comedy Writer’s Anonymous. I could be writing for an obscure daytime channel, the…No. No more Jim.IN THE DARKEST CORNER OF THE BLOG AN UNGAINLY SHADOW STIRSJIM (CONT.):I could have been…GRANITE (V.O.):BELIKE! You sniveling land-loving-ARTIST!JIM:Is that you Granite?GRANITE’S GIANT SHADOW LOOMS OVER THE COMEDY WRITER IN WAITINGGRANITE:It bai’nt be a bucket of sausages on a day trip to Tate Modern. BELIKE!JIM:I wasn’t ex...

Wounded but not Forgotten
2007-12-17 20:58:00
An ApologyWhy I've been away.I'm still here but life has been catching up with me and the ambition to write every day. So I've been busy earning a living and doing the right thing by others.I hope to resume normal service in the near future.JimKin
More About: Forgotten

Just say “Judder.”
2007-11-28 22:01:00
I look up to Tom CruiseWorks under consideration: 25Current Dominant Thought: Am I the fifth protocol?Nothing yet…No. Nothing…Can’t remember what was on my mind…Something like writing about my favourite words like ‘Judder.’Dialogue!That was it I was going to write about some of my favourite lines…Lines from movies like ‘His Girl Friday’ or ‘All About Eve.'But then I forgot what I was going to write so here’s a short sketch staring Mrs Pug and Mrs Ash aka ‘The Mothers’ and their pet Samurai ‘Suki.’INT/DAYMRS PUG’S LIVING ROOM. ‘THE MOTHERS’ SIT WATCHING CELEBRITY KNICKER SNATCHER OR CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER OR CELEBRITY LABRADOR, OR CELEBRITY CELIBACY (WHERE YOU GET TO CHOOSE WHICH CELEBRITY NEVER GETS TO BREED). THEY ARE EATING DORITOS AND RASPBERRY JAMMRS ASH:Is the news on?MRS PUG:I’ve lost the remote.MRS ASH:No silly it’s behind the settee.CUT TO SUKI THE SAMURAI APPEARING FROM BEHIND THE SETTEE. HE IS IN FULL SAMURAI ARMOUR. A RED BATTLE FLA...

This is not a Recording
2007-11-24 17:42:00
Click to Play Are you really listening to a recording? Do you sometimes think there's someone there?
More About: Recording , Cord

CHOCOLATE SHOES FOUND IN PRADA HANDBAG
2007-11-22 21:13:00
He was a MOTHERLABRADORWorks under consideration: 25Current Dominant Thought: Why Dark Angels are bad for youIgnore meI’m writing headlines for ladies…Here’s one for the boysFERRET SCORES WEMBLEY WINNER – DOESN’T SPILL HIS BEER!I like ferrets…Channel ‘Bloody’ 4Still not a squeak out of them and all the material I’ve entered; 15 bits of work in their competitions! The web site has been down for the last month…GrrrrrAnd now in the first in the last of a seriesQuentin Tarantino woes Jane Austen over a pint of BitterWARNINGRude words including FUCK, FUCKER, AND MOTHERFUCKER have been replaced with the word ‘LABRADOR’ ‘LABRADOR-ER’ and ’MOTHERLABRADOR’SCENEINT/NIGHTA SLEAZY BAR IN THE BACK STREETS OF LIVERPOOLQUENTIN SIPS AT A SMALL AMONTILLADO SHERRY. JANE FINISHES HER PINT. WIPES HER MOUTH WITH A FLOPPY LACE CUFF. SHE TAKES A DRAG FROM HER SMOKEJANE:Quent’ wat ya godda remember is… QUENTIN:My dear lady of silken honey.JANE:Ditch the hyperbole white ...
More About: Shoes , Prada , Chocolate , Handbag

The Seven Laws of Comedy Writing…Where’s my Medicine?
2007-11-18 22:38:00
It's behind youWorks under consideration: 25Current Handicap: I am Time’s WhoreThe Seven Laws of Comedy – Dave EvansThis page used to come up high in google if you typed in ‘Comedy Writing.’It’s a great collection of tools for your armoury. Dave Evans is an Emmy Award winning writer who’s worked on shows like ‘The Cosby Show.’1. Be able to throw away your best joke- c.f. with William Faulkner ‘We have to kill our favourite ‘children.’2. If YOU don’t laugh no one else will.- This isn’t always true (I forget 98% of the stuff I write)3. Character is 98% of Comedy- Don’t try pinning a character together with funny quirks – meet people.4. …and timing is the other 98%- In drawing class they talk about the negative shapes (look it up)5. The Power of the Step Sheet- Read Dave’s page. It’s technique6. Hold the jokes and make the story funny- Is this always true?7. Turn off your telly and keep it turned off.- write, meet people, and people watch, then wri...
More About: Medicine

Comedy Bump, Grind, and then BLAM!
2007-11-13 20:58:00
"O' It's Tai Chi! I thought you'd all gone into reverse."**Works under consideration: 24Current Handicap: A mouse with low batteries*Channel 4 4Laughs Comedy Site Have been down for ages. They haven’t judged any competition I’ve entered since 10th October, hence I have lots of outstanding material in limbo. BUGGER!!!I WILL NOW PLAY INTERPOL VERY LOUD!My Mate Primate SketchEntered on Channel 4 Web site - 10th NovemberA 1950's Dad goes back in time to live with a group of NeanderthalsDo you ever write something and think it’s OK but only if I had more time? I would make it the bestSuperTingleinTheLoins-vibe. Well that’s what we have here. It’s OK but what would make it sing to the heavens?I think a workshop.Yep If I had some performers at the bottom of the garden, you know c’chillin’ with the Pixies (not the band) Could you imagine your Begonia dealing with ‘Wave of Mutilation?’ No too right give ‘em ‘Monkey Gone to Heaven’ that’s a BLOOMER!There’s a lo...
More About: Bump , Grind , Then

Random Association Pixies
2007-11-10 12:40:00
A U.N. Grant was the best he could hope for Works under consideration: 22Stuck in the Middle of…a sketch called ‘My Mate Primate’ for the Channel 4 Web site in association with Baby Cow . The premise is a ‘1950’s Dad transported back in time to live in a community of Neanderthals.’ Erm. Well, of course, they’ve got to be playing cricket. And I’m stuck…Being Funny SecretsIt’s hard work.Perhaps one time in ten I write something off the cuff and it’s any good. Most of the time I have to ‘generate’ ideas. There are lots of variations on this but building a list of ‘Random Association s.’ I just write a list of 50 things around the subject which can be images, words, places, people, dialogue. Then I’ll build a ‘Focused’ list. This list is really things that have some energy, the possibility of going somewhere. The more you ‘generate’ the more chances you make for yourself.ListsIt’s a way of getting your mind to make the sub-conscious connections. ...
More About: Pixies

...is escapling to Dyslexia
2007-11-07 21:01:00
All that clutters is goldWorks under consideration: 19Dark Angel: RejoinedInterruptions: BanditosState of Mind: Atlas Does Dallas Comedy WordMix: Peep-Show, Peep-Hole, Peep-Deep, Leap-Beep, Flip-DipIntroductionI’d like to introduce you to Spen. Part Guitarist, part Internet-WebGuru and part Klingon (in a nice sort of sharing way). He is helping and sharing my plan for World Domination via the WebInternetThingy and stealth marketing…Hence the picture above, which is really my desk, with my bits and bobs and will form the basis of a Web site which will bring me wealth and power or, well…a little recognition and folkychaps wishing to purchase or even commission my sillywritingviBE.Spen took many pictures of the desk and of me. I might be brave and post my face such as it is…S/FX: THE SOUND OF A CRICKET BALL BOUNCING ON A WELL OILED STRIP OF WILLOW.JOSE:Si. You woz OUT!ALICANTEIt never touched me!CWiW:What are you two doing in my blog?JOSE:We were looking for somewhere flat to ...
More About: Dyslexia , Lexi

Repetitive Anecdote Syndrome
2007-11-03 12:27:00
Heather Mills PR stunt goes horribly rightWorks under consideration: 19Dark Angel: Lost to meInterruptions: RubyState of Mind: Mighty cat-herder Comedy WordMix: Ronnie Barker Fork Handles, Ronnie Corbett comfy chair, Bark Handling Forks, Ronnie comforts Corbett chairsYour back's against the wallThere's no one home to callYou're forgetting who you areYou can't stop cryingIt's part not giving inPart trusting your friendsYou do it all again and I'm not lyingStanding in the Way of Control- GossipWhen my back’s against the wall I eat chocolate, watch favourite movies, and listen to tunes that put some gumption back into my bones. Hence the lyrics above.World Domination by Internet StealthThis is my plan. I mean to do it with some cunning Web sites, video, and some startling use of SEO* but I keep ‘not finding the time.’A DOOR OPENS IN THE BLOGRUBY ‘A FERAL HOBBIT’ ENTERSRUBY:Oi! Writer! What you doing?CWiW:Ruby shouldn’t you be braiding your hair and chasing down conne...
More About: Syndrome

How to Make a Pyrate
2007-11-01 21:15:00
Going out tonight?Works under consideration: 17Dark Angel: xPyrates: I made this one earlierState of Mind: Weary-SherpaComedy WordMix: Eddie Is, Eddie Does, Eddie usually isn’t. Eddie is hard, Eddie Izzard.Making Your Own PyrateThe one thing I enjoyed most about performing was devising a piece from nothing. I’ve worked with actors who knew what they are doing, who added to the material and took it to another level. I’ve also worked with friends.NEVER work with friends.They can have their own ideas and you’re the writer and you have to say what is what. Don’t trust them. It’s your work. They do not know the little flame that burnt it into your heart the ‘I want to make this to happen!’ It’s all MINE you hear? All Mine. Ahahahahah!I trained in Physical TheatreI much prefer it to the method schools. Both are valid but making a character by using your body is more powerful and more true (it also cuts out the self-indulgent pretentious twat in us all).A Physical Theatr...
More About: Make

Lost in the Mists of Hertfordshire
2007-10-27 14:25:00
William* had lost the bet and would be Tibetan till half timeWorks under consideration: 17Dark Angel: Looking for a white onePyrates: They’re everywhereState of Mind: Puppy-joyComedy WordMix: Eric is Idle, John took the Cheese, Terry the Grill, Chaps for Graham, Jones the Palindrome. Lost in the Mists of HertfordshireI live on a small island in Hertfordshire called Welwyn Garden City known locally as Welwyn Garden City . The place is often shrouded in mist as the hot air of London merges with the Blue Mountains in the south of the county. Recently a hush has descended around WGC, the wandering violin bands of gypsies are strangely absent, squirrels fret in the tree tops, and tumbleweed blows down Parkway. The migrating JazzZombies are back!Yep those black-polar-neck-I’m COOLER-than-Steve-Jobs, Gauloises smoking finger clickers are making their way south for the winter. The hills of Hertfordshire are ringing with ‘Coooooool’ and ‘Niccccccce’ tunes. I have locked myself i...
More About: The Mist

Worry Work, NFF
2007-10-24 21:09:00
Tre counted to fiveWork s under consideration: 14Dark Angel: To be forgottenPyrates: Check under your tableState of Mind: Sniffle-snuffle Hound Comedy WordMix: Static Brown, Gordon Alive, Alive but concerned for house prices, how do I look, you look like you’re alive. Worry I rewrote ‘This is not a Recording.’ Liked it. Now I’ve recorded and it doesn’t make me laugh enough. Interesting idea but not well executed. Bill Cosby had a stamp for scripts for The Cosby Show. The stamp printed the letters NFF. You can work it out right?That’s what I want to stamp on this and move on. But I won’t.Why?Because I’m a stubborn Scot, (my Mum used to say) and giving up is dull…Worry Like a BoneIf you can’t put your finger on a 'why', then put that ‘why?’ to the back of your mind and bring it out and gnaw on it for a while and then put it away.Some things I can immediately say don’t work1. No energy in the voice.2. Too many ‘clipped words.’What works1. When it gets an...

Ruby, Ruby, Ruby...
2007-10-21 21:36:00
JimKin's EscapeToday is Ruby day.I write comedy scripts, TV, short film, radio, live, physical theatre pieces, stand up, and I blog. I write poetry in extremes of emotions. When I’m very negative, haven’t had to do that for years and when I’m in love, true deep, overwhelming love.I don’t think I can write prose but I did try it for a very deep and personal reason. I wrote most of the fourth book for The Lord of The Rings. Called the Ring of Loss it contained me. Yep I wrote myself into Middle Earth, a place full of the wonders of that world but with a few additions like ‘fluffy coffee'= Latte, a mute girl called Nine, an insufferable boorish hunter called Mermann, a dwarf warrior called Ori Firebeard, a Ranger called Looker, and Radagast, a hopeless and forgetful Wizard, a pony called Scone, and of course I had to have Christmas at Bag End.I was my own hero ‘The Writer.’ I faced fearsome Wargs, temptation from a lady shape-shifter called ’Scar’ and a visitation ...

Passion and Chips
2007-10-20 13:35:00
A fiver the Blue Nun bottles itWorks under consideration: 14 (been busy)Dark Angel: I’m wearing bootsPyrates: They be nearbyNominations: 1State of Mind: Drowsy Clown, Comedy WordMix: Lapping-Hicks, Banana-booted Connolly, Bob Hope ski-nose, and Phil Jupitus with a pipe Channel 4Laughs CompetitionsI’ve entered some more competitions including the caption contest on Channel 4 4Laughs Web site. And sent some sketches to Ten in Bed Theatre’s 'Comedy Toboggan' sketch thingy. Am I feeling confident? Nope. I’ve entered so many competitions and have had only a couple of so-so successes including a TV credit. Now a rousing chorus of ‘We Shall Overcome!’World Domination of the Comedy WebA little bit of progress today with some short viral video. Hope to have these somewhere on the sunny side of the interweb in the next few days.Blue Cat ManIf you want to read a real ‘Gawd he makes money out of it’ comedy writer have a look at James Henry’s blog as he has a long and funny ...
More About: Passion , Chips , Passi

Baa Baa Zombie Sheep
2007-10-15 21:55:00
Plug and Play PhilosphyWorks under consideration: 4Dark Angel: Down and outPyrates: Belike!Nominations: 1State of Mind: Bed-dancing-Sunday-morningComedy Writing WordMix: grave-Milligan Fry-trousers, Oscar-wallpaper, and of course Eddie-catINT/DAYA HOTEL DINNING ROOM. THE WEST OF SCOTLANDWAITRESS:Good Morning!ALL:Morning!WAITRESS:Just to let you know we’re out of porridge*.ALL:O’.EVERYONE SITS AT THE TABLE.CWiW:Has Goldie Locks been staying? I mean noooo porridge. I’m writing to Sean Connery and demand an apology.ALL:That’s enough JimKin.- END –The Great TrekSeven hours, Count them. Seven whole mind-bum-numbing-hours in a car to the west of Scotland. But I did get to stay in a book shop.What?Yep. My reaction was ‘Well OK. But do I get to sleep in the Interior Design section? Or the erotica but please not in the Philosophy Section. We’ll be up all night arguing about things we don’t need to understand.’ Sleeping with Nitezche.I know nothing about the chap. But ‘By ...
More About: Zombie , Sheep , Shee

The Award Awards
2007-10-11 23:06:00
Well met by moonlight, for a fishWorks under consideration: 4Dark Angel: TearingPyrates: Erm?Banditos: Erm?Penguins: Erm?Nominations: 1State of Mind: Cigarettes, coffee, red wine NOW!Comedy Writing WordMix: Glug, satin, Bavarian tea, sloppy Jo American Mall dreams – random - HipHopHa!The NominationA big clappy to Agent ‘G’ for the nomination for the ‘Blogger Choice Award ‘ Best Humor Blog. Bloody Americans can’t spell. Can ‘U?’Of course I wear my blog lightly and I have a lot of key-strokes to thank for this honour. Do you want to help? I will of course put no emotional pressure on you to vote for my humble random tapings, but my grey haired old Mum and my ailing kitten will be very grateful.Pop Along…To the Blogger Choice site register (it takes a nano-moment-nothing,-but-joy-you-will-fee l) and vote for this surreal prison I’ve been sentenced to…‘I thank you.’Comedy Writing GodsGene Perret.I’ve mentioned him before and I’ll mention him again because af...
More About: Awards

This is not a recording
2007-10-09 21:37:00
1934 couldn't leave a messageWorks under consideration: 4Dark Angel: FadedPyrates: xBanditos: xPenguins: ?First Thought this morning: ‘I like pillows.’State of Mind: Viking Mother Comedy Writing WordMix: Bob The Builder – Yes Darling – tax – jelly – reap clowns – 300 marketing girls = something floating.299Things to do. None of them involving ruling the world via the InterWebthingoogle. Here’s something I’ve written for a competition on Channel 4. It’s for a sound file. Now if I can get garageband to sound like I’m on the phone I’ll be posting it dear blog scanner.I seem to have a fixation with phones. Well I used to work online., on the phone lines for a tech support company. I thought I’d died and gone, well died. Just died. Still one more chorus of ‘We shall overcome.’ And lets get on with the…This is not a recordingS/FX: PHONE DIALLINGVOICE:Welcome to [INTERFERENCE] Online. Please have your customer number ready. Please have your credit card, PIN...
More About: Recording , Cord