Comedy Writer in WaitingComedy Writer in WaitingThe day to day struggle of a comedy writer trying to sell his work. Surreal and fun comedy collisions
Articles:
1, 2
Articles
Stomach Theatre
2008-06-07 11:56:00 He just sat there...waitingWorks under consideration: 0Current Dominant Thought: Far awaySitcom Character Ideas: 0I’m back from holiday. Well most of me is back. It started well. Ended in hospital with food poisoning. Three days of not-to-bad-hospital-food-well-it-keeps-yo u-alive.Now I have to ponder writing a sit com and creating my own company of performers. Both are at the stage of I WILL OVERCOME!INT/DAYA SUNNY BLOGS/FX A LOW RUMBLE EBBS ACROSS THE BLOGCWiW:Excuse me my stomach is trying to tell me something. What’s that Skippy? Sausage Pasta trapped in the lower bowel? Well me and the boys will be along in a minute with some soothing fluffy coffee and a bun. - END-IDEAS AND HOW TO HAVE THEMSo what shall the sit come be about? Well first the sit com is dead. Yep. Died in the UK some years back. O’ the channels keep putting them on. Star vehicles that sometimes work. But decent sitcoms that everyone talks about? Dead. Good comedy exists but in the main the top terrestrial c... More About: Theatre , Stomach
100 Comedy George W Bushes Chest Complaints
2008-05-24 12:54:00 The Chest Complaint looked paleWorks under consideration: 0Current Dominant Thought: My lungs are made of wood.I’ve been away. First studying for a Internet-Thing Exam. Second because I fell foul of a serious chest complaint.CHEST COMPLAINT:I told you I was ill!*I’ve just noted that I have sent out exactly 100 pieces of work for consideration since the start of 2007 and the result is exactly ‘0.’**Still I’ve got my health, most of my hair,*** and a few good teeth for chewing on comedy producers.CHEST COMPLAINT:And a noxious cough! You idiot!CWiW:I told you I’m only going to smoke incense sticks from now on. No more tar, just a sense of harmony. Next on the list is writing a 15 min Sit Com for a competition: Every1sacritic and resurrecting the idea of my own Comedy Company to do live stuff and film for Youtube, Comedybox etc.Writing a SitcomI’ve written three sitcoms and done nothing with them. Now it’s time to get my work in front of Big Bad Comedy Producers, MAKE M... More About: George W , George
Just Popped in...
2008-04-05 10:27:00 JimKin viewed the spotlight with suspicionWorks under consideration: 7Current Dominant Thought: They’ll be a joke along in a minuteJIM:It’s a mite dusty in hereA TUMBLEWEED BLOWS ACROSS THE DUSTY BLOG. A SAND GERBIL SCUTTLES THROUGH THE TORN CORNER OF THE PAGE AND INTO NEXT DOOR’S BLOG ‘BEPPE GRILLO'JIM (CONT.):Those were the days.JIM SIGHS AND LOOKS AROUND THE COBWEBBED WALLS OF HIS MIGHTY BLOG. HE PICKS UP THE TORN CORNER OF AN OLD POST ‘Quentin Tarantino woes Jane Austen over a pint of Bitter’JIM SIGHS AGAINJIM (CONT.):If only I’d joined Comedy Writer’s Anonymous. I could be writing for an obscure daytime channel, the…No. No more Jim.IN THE DARKEST CORNER OF THE BLOG AN UNGAINLY SHADOW STIRSJIM (CONT.):I could have been…GRANITE (V.O.):BELIKE! You sniveling land-loving-ARTIST!JIM:Is that you Granite?GRANITE’S GIANT SHADOW LOOMS OVER THE COMEDY WRITER IN WAITINGGRANITE:It bai’nt be a bucket of sausages on a day trip to Tate Modern. BELIKE!JIM:I wasn’t ex...
Wounded but not Forgotten
2007-12-17 20:58:00 An ApologyWhy I've been away.I'm still here but life has been catching up with me and the ambition to write every day. So I've been busy earning a living and doing the right thing by others.I hope to resume normal service in the near future.JimKin More About: Forgotten
Just say “Judder.”
2007-11-28 22:01:00 I look up to Tom CruiseWorks under consideration: 25Current Dominant Thought: Am I the fifth protocol?Nothing yet…No. Nothing…Can’t remember what was on my mind…Something like writing about my favourite words like ‘Judder.’Dialogue!That was it I was going to write about some of my favourite lines…Lines from movies like ‘His Girl Friday’ or ‘All About Eve.'But then I forgot what I was going to write so here’s a short sketch staring Mrs Pug and Mrs Ash aka ‘The Mothers’ and their pet Samurai ‘Suki.’INT/DAYMRS PUG’S LIVING ROOM. ‘THE MOTHERS’ SIT WATCHING CELEBRITY KNICKER SNATCHER OR CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER OR CELEBRITY LABRADOR, OR CELEBRITY CELIBACY (WHERE YOU GET TO CHOOSE WHICH CELEBRITY NEVER GETS TO BREED). THEY ARE EATING DORITOS AND RASPBERRY JAMMRS ASH:Is the news on?MRS PUG:I’ve lost the remote.MRS ASH:No silly it’s behind the settee.CUT TO SUKI THE SAMURAI APPEARING FROM BEHIND THE SETTEE. HE IS IN FULL SAMURAI ARMOUR. A RED BATTLE FLA...
This is not a Recording
2007-11-24 17:42:00 Click to Play Are you really listening to a recording? Do you sometimes think there's someone there? More About: Recording , Cord
CHOCOLATE SHOES FOUND IN PRADA HANDBAG
2007-11-22 21:13:00 He was a MOTHERLABRADORWorks under consideration: 25Current Dominant Thought: Why Dark Angels are bad for youIgnore meI’m writing headlines for ladies…Here’s one for the boysFERRET SCORES WEMBLEY WINNER – DOESN’T SPILL HIS BEER!I like ferrets…Channel ‘Bloody’ 4Still not a squeak out of them and all the material I’ve entered; 15 bits of work in their competitions! The web site has been down for the last month…GrrrrrAnd now in the first in the last of a seriesQuentin Tarantino woes Jane Austen over a pint of BitterWARNINGRude words including FUCK, FUCKER, AND MOTHERFUCKER have been replaced with the word ‘LABRADOR’ ‘LABRADOR-ER’ and ’MOTHERLABRADOR’SCENEINT/NIGHTA SLEAZY BAR IN THE BACK STREETS OF LIVERPOOLQUENTIN SIPS AT A SMALL AMONTILLADO SHERRY. JANE FINISHES HER PINT. WIPES HER MOUTH WITH A FLOPPY LACE CUFF. SHE TAKES A DRAG FROM HER SMOKEJANE:Quent’ wat ya godda remember is… QUENTIN:My dear lady of silken honey.JANE:Ditch the hyperbole white ... More About: Shoes , Prada , Chocolate , Handbag
The Seven Laws of Comedy Writing…Where’s my Medicine?
2007-11-18 22:38:00 It's behind youWorks under consideration: 25Current Handicap: I am Time’s WhoreThe Seven Laws of Comedy – Dave EvansThis page used to come up high in google if you typed in ‘Comedy Writing.’It’s a great collection of tools for your armoury. Dave Evans is an Emmy Award winning writer who’s worked on shows like ‘The Cosby Show.’1. Be able to throw away your best joke- c.f. with William Faulkner ‘We have to kill our favourite ‘children.’2. If YOU don’t laugh no one else will.- This isn’t always true (I forget 98% of the stuff I write)3. Character is 98% of Comedy- Don’t try pinning a character together with funny quirks – meet people.4. …and timing is the other 98%- In drawing class they talk about the negative shapes (look it up)5. The Power of the Step Sheet- Read Dave’s page. It’s technique6. Hold the jokes and make the story funny- Is this always true?7. Turn off your telly and keep it turned off.- write, meet people, and people watch, then wri... More About: Medicine
Comedy Bump, Grind, and then BLAM!
2007-11-13 20:58:00 "O' It's Tai Chi! I thought you'd all gone into reverse."**Works under consideration: 24Current Handicap: A mouse with low batteries*Channel 4 4Laughs Comedy Site Have been down for ages. They haven’t judged any competition I’ve entered since 10th October, hence I have lots of outstanding material in limbo. BUGGER!!!I WILL NOW PLAY INTERPOL VERY LOUD!My Mate Primate SketchEntered on Channel 4 Web site - 10th NovemberA 1950's Dad goes back in time to live with a group of NeanderthalsDo you ever write something and think it’s OK but only if I had more time? I would make it the bestSuperTingleinTheLoins-vibe. Well that’s what we have here. It’s OK but what would make it sing to the heavens?I think a workshop.Yep If I had some performers at the bottom of the garden, you know c’chillin’ with the Pixies (not the band) Could you imagine your Begonia dealing with ‘Wave of Mutilation?’ No too right give ‘em ‘Monkey Gone to Heaven’ that’s a BLOOMER!There’s a lo... More About: Bump , Grind , Then
Random Association Pixies
2007-11-10 12:40:00 A U.N. Grant was the best he could hope for Works under consideration: 22Stuck in the Middle of…a sketch called ‘My Mate Primate’ for the Channel 4 Web site in association with Baby Cow . The premise is a ‘1950’s Dad transported back in time to live in a community of Neanderthals.’ Erm. Well, of course, they’ve got to be playing cricket. And I’m stuck…Being Funny SecretsIt’s hard work.Perhaps one time in ten I write something off the cuff and it’s any good. Most of the time I have to ‘generate’ ideas. There are lots of variations on this but building a list of ‘Random Association s.’ I just write a list of 50 things around the subject which can be images, words, places, people, dialogue. Then I’ll build a ‘Focused’ list. This list is really things that have some energy, the possibility of going somewhere. The more you ‘generate’ the more chances you make for yourself.ListsIt’s a way of getting your mind to make the sub-conscious connections. ... More About: Pixies
...is escapling to Dyslexia
2007-11-07 21:01:00 All that clutters is goldWorks under consideration: 19Dark Angel: RejoinedInterruptions: BanditosState of Mind: Atlas Does Dallas Comedy WordMix: Peep-Show, Peep-Hole, Peep-Deep, Leap-Beep, Flip-DipIntroductionI’d like to introduce you to Spen. Part Guitarist, part Internet-WebGuru and part Klingon (in a nice sort of sharing way). He is helping and sharing my plan for World Domination via the WebInternetThingy and stealth marketing…Hence the picture above, which is really my desk, with my bits and bobs and will form the basis of a Web site which will bring me wealth and power or, well…a little recognition and folkychaps wishing to purchase or even commission my sillywritingviBE.Spen took many pictures of the desk and of me. I might be brave and post my face such as it is…S/FX: THE SOUND OF A CRICKET BALL BOUNCING ON A WELL OILED STRIP OF WILLOW.JOSE:Si. You woz OUT!ALICANTEIt never touched me!CWiW:What are you two doing in my blog?JOSE:We were looking for somewhere flat to ... More About: Dyslexia , Lexi
Repetitive Anecdote Syndrome
2007-11-03 12:27:00 Heather Mills PR stunt goes horribly rightWorks under consideration: 19Dark Angel: Lost to meInterruptions: RubyState of Mind: Mighty cat-herder Comedy WordMix: Ronnie Barker Fork Handles, Ronnie Corbett comfy chair, Bark Handling Forks, Ronnie comforts Corbett chairsYour back's against the wallThere's no one home to callYou're forgetting who you areYou can't stop cryingIt's part not giving inPart trusting your friendsYou do it all again and I'm not lyingStanding in the Way of Control- GossipWhen my back’s against the wall I eat chocolate, watch favourite movies, and listen to tunes that put some gumption back into my bones. Hence the lyrics above.World Domination by Internet StealthThis is my plan. I mean to do it with some cunning Web sites, video, and some startling use of SEO* but I keep ‘not finding the time.’A DOOR OPENS IN THE BLOGRUBY ‘A FERAL HOBBIT’ ENTERSRUBY:Oi! Writer! What you doing?CWiW:Ruby shouldn’t you be braiding your hair and chasing down conne... More About: Syndrome
How to Make a Pyrate
2007-11-01 21:15:00 Going out tonight?Works under consideration: 17Dark Angel: xPyrates: I made this one earlierState of Mind: Weary-SherpaComedy WordMix: Eddie Is, Eddie Does, Eddie usually isn’t. Eddie is hard, Eddie Izzard.Making Your Own PyrateThe one thing I enjoyed most about performing was devising a piece from nothing. I’ve worked with actors who knew what they are doing, who added to the material and took it to another level. I’ve also worked with friends.NEVER work with friends.They can have their own ideas and you’re the writer and you have to say what is what. Don’t trust them. It’s your work. They do not know the little flame that burnt it into your heart the ‘I want to make this to happen!’ It’s all MINE you hear? All Mine. Ahahahahah!I trained in Physical TheatreI much prefer it to the method schools. Both are valid but making a character by using your body is more powerful and more true (it also cuts out the self-indulgent pretentious twat in us all).A Physical Theatr... More About: Make
Lost in the Mists of Hertfordshire
2007-10-27 14:25:00 William* had lost the bet and would be Tibetan till half timeWorks under consideration: 17Dark Angel: Looking for a white onePyrates: They’re everywhereState of Mind: Puppy-joyComedy WordMix: Eric is Idle, John took the Cheese, Terry the Grill, Chaps for Graham, Jones the Palindrome. Lost in the Mists of HertfordshireI live on a small island in Hertfordshire called Welwyn Garden City known locally as Welwyn Garden City . The place is often shrouded in mist as the hot air of London merges with the Blue Mountains in the south of the county. Recently a hush has descended around WGC, the wandering violin bands of gypsies are strangely absent, squirrels fret in the tree tops, and tumbleweed blows down Parkway. The migrating JazzZombies are back!Yep those black-polar-neck-I’m COOLER-than-Steve-Jobs, Gauloises smoking finger clickers are making their way south for the winter. The hills of Hertfordshire are ringing with ‘Coooooool’ and ‘Niccccccce’ tunes. I have locked myself i... More About: The Mist
Worry Work, NFF
2007-10-24 21:09:00 Tre counted to fiveWork s under consideration: 14Dark Angel: To be forgottenPyrates: Check under your tableState of Mind: Sniffle-snuffle Hound Comedy WordMix: Static Brown, Gordon Alive, Alive but concerned for house prices, how do I look, you look like you’re alive. Worry I rewrote ‘This is not a Recording.’ Liked it. Now I’ve recorded and it doesn’t make me laugh enough. Interesting idea but not well executed. Bill Cosby had a stamp for scripts for The Cosby Show. The stamp printed the letters NFF. You can work it out right?That’s what I want to stamp on this and move on. But I won’t.Why?Because I’m a stubborn Scot, (my Mum used to say) and giving up is dull…Worry Like a BoneIf you can’t put your finger on a 'why', then put that ‘why?’ to the back of your mind and bring it out and gnaw on it for a while and then put it away.Some things I can immediately say don’t work1. No energy in the voice.2. Too many ‘clipped words.’What works1. When it gets an...
Ruby, Ruby, Ruby...
2007-10-21 21:36:00 JimKin's EscapeToday is Ruby day.I write comedy scripts, TV, short film, radio, live, physical theatre pieces, stand up, and I blog. I write poetry in extremes of emotions. When I’m very negative, haven’t had to do that for years and when I’m in love, true deep, overwhelming love.I don’t think I can write prose but I did try it for a very deep and personal reason. I wrote most of the fourth book for The Lord of The Rings. Called the Ring of Loss it contained me. Yep I wrote myself into Middle Earth, a place full of the wonders of that world but with a few additions like ‘fluffy coffee'= Latte, a mute girl called Nine, an insufferable boorish hunter called Mermann, a dwarf warrior called Ori Firebeard, a Ranger called Looker, and Radagast, a hopeless and forgetful Wizard, a pony called Scone, and of course I had to have Christmas at Bag End.I was my own hero ‘The Writer.’ I faced fearsome Wargs, temptation from a lady shape-shifter called ’Scar’ and a visitation ...
Passion and Chips
2007-10-20 13:35:00 A fiver the Blue Nun bottles itWorks under consideration: 14 (been busy)Dark Angel: I’m wearing bootsPyrates: They be nearbyNominations: 1State of Mind: Drowsy Clown, Comedy WordMix: Lapping-Hicks, Banana-booted Connolly, Bob Hope ski-nose, and Phil Jupitus with a pipe Channel 4Laughs CompetitionsI’ve entered some more competitions including the caption contest on Channel 4 4Laughs Web site. And sent some sketches to Ten in Bed Theatre’s 'Comedy Toboggan' sketch thingy. Am I feeling confident? Nope. I’ve entered so many competitions and have had only a couple of so-so successes including a TV credit. Now a rousing chorus of ‘We Shall Overcome!’World Domination of the Comedy WebA little bit of progress today with some short viral video. Hope to have these somewhere on the sunny side of the interweb in the next few days.Blue Cat ManIf you want to read a real ‘Gawd he makes money out of it’ comedy writer have a look at James Henry’s blog as he has a long and funny ... More About: Passion , Chips , Passi
Baa Baa Zombie Sheep
2007-10-15 21:55:00 Plug and Play PhilosphyWorks under consideration: 4Dark Angel: Down and outPyrates: Belike!Nominations: 1State of Mind: Bed-dancing-Sunday-morningComedy Writing WordMix: grave-Milligan Fry-trousers, Oscar-wallpaper, and of course Eddie-catINT/DAYA HOTEL DINNING ROOM. THE WEST OF SCOTLANDWAITRESS:Good Morning!ALL:Morning!WAITRESS:Just to let you know we’re out of porridge*.ALL:O’.EVERYONE SITS AT THE TABLE.CWiW:Has Goldie Locks been staying? I mean noooo porridge. I’m writing to Sean Connery and demand an apology.ALL:That’s enough JimKin.- END –The Great TrekSeven hours, Count them. Seven whole mind-bum-numbing-hours in a car to the west of Scotland. But I did get to stay in a book shop.What?Yep. My reaction was ‘Well OK. But do I get to sleep in the Interior Design section? Or the erotica but please not in the Philosophy Section. We’ll be up all night arguing about things we don’t need to understand.’ Sleeping with Nitezche.I know nothing about the chap. But ‘By ... More About: Zombie , Sheep , Shee
The Award Awards
2007-10-11 23:06:00 Well met by moonlight, for a fishWorks under consideration: 4Dark Angel: TearingPyrates: Erm?Banditos: Erm?Penguins: Erm?Nominations: 1State of Mind: Cigarettes, coffee, red wine NOW!Comedy Writing WordMix: Glug, satin, Bavarian tea, sloppy Jo American Mall dreams – random - HipHopHa!The NominationA big clappy to Agent ‘G’ for the nomination for the ‘Blogger Choice Award ‘ Best Humor Blog. Bloody Americans can’t spell. Can ‘U?’Of course I wear my blog lightly and I have a lot of key-strokes to thank for this honour. Do you want to help? I will of course put no emotional pressure on you to vote for my humble random tapings, but my grey haired old Mum and my ailing kitten will be very grateful.Pop Along…To the Blogger Choice site register (it takes a nano-moment-nothing,-but-joy-you-will-fee l) and vote for this surreal prison I’ve been sentenced to…‘I thank you.’Comedy Writing GodsGene Perret.I’ve mentioned him before and I’ll mention him again because af... More About: Awards
This is not a recording
2007-10-09 21:37:00 1934 couldn't leave a messageWorks under consideration: 4Dark Angel: FadedPyrates: xBanditos: xPenguins: ?First Thought this morning: ‘I like pillows.’State of Mind: Viking Mother Comedy Writing WordMix: Bob The Builder – Yes Darling – tax – jelly – reap clowns – 300 marketing girls = something floating.299Things to do. None of them involving ruling the world via the InterWebthingoogle. Here’s something I’ve written for a competition on Channel 4. It’s for a sound file. Now if I can get garageband to sound like I’m on the phone I’ll be posting it dear blog scanner.I seem to have a fixation with phones. Well I used to work online., on the phone lines for a tech support company. I thought I’d died and gone, well died. Just died. Still one more chorus of ‘We shall overcome.’ And lets get on with the…This is not a recordingS/FX: PHONE DIALLINGVOICE:Welcome to [INTERFERENCE] Online. Please have your customer number ready. Please have your credit card, PIN... More About: Recording , Cord
300… Marketing Girls
2007-10-06 12:14:00 I use mine for shoppingWorks under consideration: 4 Dark Angel: Sympathy with the dentistPyrates: ???First Thought this morning: ‘I’ve missed Saturday’State of Mind: Viking PresbyterianComedy Writing WordMix: Green Wing – Funnel Web – Curious – Puddle – Britney – Mrs Tony Blair – 42” General Election.300Yes I watched it for the fact that the Spartans were mostly played by Scotsmen. Great graphically but hokey in the acting-more-macho-than-Matt-‘sugar-boy -Damon-we’re-not-Fascist-no-not-a-bit .If you were stuck in the Gates of Fire who would you choose to be on your right shoulder? That’s right choose marketing girls. They will be armed with lots of spreadsheets, just the right amount of electrical gadgets, be wearing something ‘pretty-floral.’ And of course they were “…just going to say that.” They’ll tell you the response rate of every ‘Immortal’ with an arrow in his chest and suggest a follow up campaign involving fold out shields, and a ... More About: Marketing , Girls
My Motorcycle Tastes Blue
2007-10-03 21:51:00 Turn LeftWorks under consideration: 4 (Well I’m always writing a blog)Dark Angel: DistantPyrates: ?First Thought this morning: ‘The Madness of Crowds’State of Mind: Hardworking VikingComedy Writing WordMix: Harry Enfield, a chin, a slice of ham, a large bap, lunch for the comedy gods. A meal for the rest of us.My Motorcycle Tastes Blue Or does it taste of wine gums? ‘Synaesthesia - from the Greek words syn (joining) and aisthesis (sensation) - affects one in 2,000 people. The artist Wassily Kandinsky was said to have had it, and David Hockney. But perhaps the most famous synaesthete is author Vladimir Nabokov, who described it as having "coloured hearing.’I like the green of that. Just love the idea. I did write a Physical Theatre type show once where the characters, on mimed motorbikes end up waiting at some traffic lights.WILL:Red, red, red, red, wait for it…Amber, ready, ready, ready. Green GO! Blue.WENDY:What’s the blue for?WILL:Chill.- END -Blue traffic lights. You...
The Peter Serafinowicz Show - Invaded
2007-09-29 12:23:00 I fancy mine muchWorks under consideration: 4 (have to up my work rate)Dark Angel: Dwelling in my soulPyrates: 1First Thought this morning: ‘What if I googled my name and I wasn’t there?’State of Mind: Angel and SinnerComedy Writing WordMix: Phil ‘Sergeant Bilko’ Silvers made my life worthwhile gagssharpwonderlaughlongandloudWatch more ComedyI write comedy and I don’t like watching it.But I do. I watch QI and Mock The Week but I find it very hard to watch anything new. I have to. But I can’t. This weekend I’m going to…Shhhhh…Did you hear something? I thought I heard something. I hope it’s not those Pyrates again.I have a new DVD, The 50th Anniversary of ‘The Phil Silver Show .' I love that man and that show. And I’m finally going to get down to some real character comedy watching ‘The Smoking Room.’ Because I’ve been busy writing silly surreal things I’ve lost sight of that element, where the real laughs are ie in The Character. And I’m going to ... More About: Peter
Blog Against Abuse - 27th September 2007
2007-09-27 21:06:00 Blogcatalog Stop Abuse DayBlogcatalog has organised a 'Stop Abuse Day'. Bloggers are invited to write about abuse in its many forms. I know somethings but I only want to mention one tear.Someone I love was abused. When I was told I felt angry and vengeful. Not practical I know. I cried a lot. I had to make some good out of this fact and I joined Amnesty International's campaign - Stop Violence Against WomenIt was something.We all contribute to the good of all. Sometimes we just need to raise our game a little. Will you raise your game today? More About: Blog , September , September 2007
FIRE in the Belly - Belike Pyrates
2007-09-26 20:57:00 I started modeling for Stella McCartney when I was nineWorks under consideration: 4Dark Angel: Now in my dreamsPyrates: 4First Thought this morning: ‘I’ve woken up.’State of Mind: Remove the Elephant from the RoomComedy Writing WordMix: Alfgarnettshouldliveagain andfight Halo 3 and The Return of The BionicWomanWorks Under ConsiderationI’ve down-sized my expectations. I sent some full sketches and some ‘slug lines’ to a couple of open script calls and nothing. Well I still have my teeth, the capacity to purrr like a real cat, imagine a fight with my shadow, see the wonder in a child’s hair, speak silly words, attempt a better world full of Pyrates, Banditos, and JazzZombies, and still I fight on, till…World Domination via the InterWebThingCan’t tell you all the plans because I believe something I once read in a book about writing where it was stated to ‘Hold your FIRE’ until you had finished otherwise the passion gets talked out. But progress is slow due to th... More About: Fire , Belly
Stephen Fry's Garden
2007-09-22 10:57:00 Works under consideration: 17 (still 17, yes still 17, Yep 17 again)Dark Angel: Has taken over my shadowJazzZombies in My Garde n : 87 (17, yes 17 with Saxophones)First Thought this morning: Must see ‘The Lives of Others.’State of Mind: Clown WarriorComedy Writing WordMix: i, iPhone, iEat, iPo, iBreath, iFloppy, iMarketshinythings, icreate, iDon’tneedanymoreshinythingsjustabaconr ollThey Never Met No: 2.97Stephen Fry & Gunga DinGUNGA DIN TIP TOES INTO MR FRY’S RADIANCESTEPHEN FRY:I thought you were just a poem Anyway enough of this Imperial flunky harking back to a time that never existed. I say walk free, head held high, into…GUNGA DIN:Water Sahib?STEPHEN FRY:Splendid.GUNGA DIN POURS CLEAR WATER INTO A BATTERED TIN CUPGUNGA DIN:Thank you Sahib.STEPHEN FRY:Would you have any Sherry? Amontillado perhaps?GUNGA DIN:Yes sir.GUNGA DIN POURS A GLASS OF THE DARK SHERRYSTEPHEN FRY:And some Farley’s Rusks with cold milk?GUNGA DIN PRODUCES RUSKS IN A BOWL AND POURS COLD CREAMY MILK O... More About: Stephen Fry , Arden
Why we need to return to Slavery for Kevins
2007-09-18 21:12:00 Kevin The Polar Bear wished he could spit furtherWorks under consideration: 17 (still 17, yes still 17)Dark Angel: 1JazzZombies: 87 (The bastards are still in the garden)First Thought this morning: ‘Isn’t daylight alarming.’State of Mind: Chocolate FixationComedy Writing WordMix: Furry puddle comedy script fluffy sitcom clipsOn Slavery It’s 200 years since Slavery was abolished in the UK. I’d love to bring it back and enslave everyone called Kevin. No real reason but it struck me when seeing the ‘hair shirts’ dressed up and being repentant. You’ve seen them haven’t you? Men with beards and corduroy trousers, and crumbs in their beards, and subscriptions to magazines like Popular Mechanics ‘This Week Build Your Own Twin Engined Helicopter Skateboard’ carrying-crosses-so-I-may-share-your-pain -as-I-feel-for-you-and-wish-to-suffer-lik e-you-my-brother-look-at-MY-BEARD!JoshJos h is a backpacker and he travels the world in his own bubble. Have you met a Josh? Funny aren... More About: Return , Avery
Muddy & Trevor - The Penguin Delusion
2007-09-15 10:59:00 This an old picture of Trevor taken on the Isle of Skye. He was just fourteen years old.Works under consideration: 17 (still 17)Dark Angel Imprint: 1Penguin s: 2Right-Hand-Sycophant: 1State of Mind: ClownComedy Writing WordMix: Sitcom bubble Free Comedy Clip sucking. Beep BBCIntroducing Muddy and TrevorMuddy is one of my favourite delusions. He and his friend Trevor are Penguins. Muddy is an Emperor Penguin and Trevor is a Rockhopper Penguin.Muddy is a very laid back surfer type, given to singing the Blues. Trevor takes EVERYTHING Very VERY very seriously.They started as a sketch idea and they lived for a short while with a fellow performer, Andy (RIP).Below is what they were up to earlier today. One day I hope they’ll ride again.EXT/DAYTHE POND IN MY LOCAL PARKMUDDY AND TREVOR ARE SPENDING THE DAY AS LIFEGUARDSF/X: LOUD SPLASHING TREVOR: (Blows whistle)I’m going to throw them out.MUDDY:Chill Trevor.TREVOR:I won’t bloody chill! Kids! And what the hell were you doing at five o... More About: Guin
Happy Manic Roses
2007-09-12 21:04:00 Works under consideration: 17 (definitely 17)Dark Angel Memory: 1Banditos: 2Zeitgeist: How are watersheds used?State of Mind: SpartanHappy Manic Roses Juxtaposition is a great word. Just bung two or more things together to get some comedy value or combine some band names to make the ultimate 90’s group ‘Happy Manic Roses'Rap and Surf?How about the Beach Tang Clan?How are watersheds used?This is number 94 on the current google trends list. Well how would you use one? Would you try keeping your fish in it? Bathing perhaps? I think I’d use one to store my pumps.Putin Dissolves GovernmentIn at number 87 in the trends list. Did he? “Tired of your old Government? What to clean up those dirty rascals? Use Polonium-210.Red PlanetDid I mention that my script for this competition bounced back? At least they opened up another email address and now the email says it’s SAFE!Two Fun CharactersJose and Alicante are two Mexican Bandits that I wrote in some sketches a while ago. The Juxtap...
Fry & Laurie, A Hedge, and Bin Laden Meet the Spartans
More articles from this author:2007-09-08 11:55:00 Works under consideration: 16 (maybe 17)Dark Angel at bay: 1Inspirations: #3 (Fry & Laurie)Cats of the Apocalypse: 3Zeitgeist: Computer games – carbon footprint – Iraq Bleeds – HD TV – embrace Islam – “This is Spar ta!”EXT/DAYMY GARDENTHE THREE CATS OF THE APOCALYPSE DOZE ON THE BRANCH OF A SWAYING CEDAR TREE. SHEIKH IS EYEING A RUBIK’S CUBE FANG:Isn’t a Rubik’s Cube a mite passé?SHEIKHI thought of some left sided brain activity for after our afternoon nap.FANG:Why did you paint it completely white?SCAR OPENS ONE EYE AND VIEWS THE COMPLETELY WHITE RUBIK’S CUBESCAR:Irony?SHEIKH:Postmodern irony.THE THREE CATS OF THE APOCALYPSE CHUCKLE AND HISS AND REVISIT THE LAND OF NOD- END - I’ve just looked at the bottom of the garden and those cats are back in the Cedar tree. They appear to be laughing at some private joke…Comedy Sketches I wished I’d written.'The Hedge 'By Stephen Fry & Hugh LaurieWatch this sketch and you know you have two very clever chaps, two ve... More About: Meet , Bin Laden , Tans 1, 2 |
|
 |
|
 |
