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Redneck Seafood
2008-05-14 08:05:00 addthis_url = 'http%3A%2F%2Fwallysjokemail.com%2F2008%2 F05%2Fredneck-seafood%2F'; addthis_title = 'Redneck +Seafood '; addthis_pub = '';
Depressed Husband
2008-05-13 08:02:00 A man walked into a therapist’s office looking very depressed. “Doc, you’ve got to help me. I can’t go on like this.” “What’s the problem?” the doctor inquired. “Well, I’m 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away.” “My friend, this is ... More About: Husband , Depressed
College Diploma
2008-05-12 08:31:00 A grandmother was pushing her grandchild around Wal-Mart in a buggy. Each time she put something in the basket, she would say, “And here is something for you, Diploma ,” or “This will make a cute little outfit for you, Diploma,” and so on. Eventually a bewildered shopper who had heard all this finally asked, “Why do you keep calling your grandchild Diploma?” The grandmother ... More About: College
Second Grade Teacher
2008-05-11 20:39:00 A teacher gave her class of second graders a lesson on the magnet and what it does. The next day in a written test, she included this question: “My full name has six letters. The first one is M. I pick up things. What am I?” When the test papers were turned in, the teacher was astonished to find that almost 50 ... More About: Teacher
Redneck in Labor
2008-05-11 08:02:00 Back in the woods, a redneck’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, “Here, you hold this high so I can see what I’m doing.” Soon a ... More About: Labor , Redneck
Blonde Job Interview
2008-05-10 08:01:00 An executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, “If you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?” The blonde quickly responded, “The living one!” addthis_url = 'http%3A%2F%2Fwallysjokemail.com%2F2008%2 F05%2Fblonde-job-interview%2F'; addthis_title = ... More About: Interview , Blonde
Priceless Baseball Game
2008-05-09 08:01:00 addthis_url = 'http%3A%2F%2Fwallysjokemail.com%2F2008%2 F05%2Fpriceless-baseball-game%2F'; addthis_title = 'Priceless +Baseball +Game '; addthis_pub = '';
Priceless Hockey Game
2008-05-09 08:01:00 addthis_url = 'http%3A%2F%2Fwallysjokemail.com%2F2008%2 F05%2Fpriceless-hockey-game%2F'; addthis_title = 'Priceless +Hockey +Game '; addthis_pub = '';
IRS Sex Tax
2008-05-08 08:30:00 We could balance the Federal Budget if we taxed sex. Everyone would pay their share. Young people would pay more taxes and your tax liability would decrease as you got older. The tax would also promote family values. How would you like to come home to your wife and have her ask, “Honey, why is your ...
X Rated Videos at Gas Pumps
2008-05-07 08:05:00 CNN reports they’re going to start playing X rated Video’s at the gas station pump’s. This is so you can watch someone else get screwed at the same time. addthis_url = 'http%3A%2F%2Fwallysjokemail.com%2F2008%2 F05%2Fx-rated-videos-at-gas-pumps%2F'; addthis_title = 'X+Rated+Videos +at+Gas+Pumps '; addthis_pub = ''; More About: X-rated
Woman Puts Affairs in Order
2008-05-06 08:35:00 A woman went to the doctor. The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, “I have some bad news. You have cancer, and you’d best put your affairs in order.” The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting. “Well daughter, we ... More About: Woman , Affairs , Order
Priceless Cop
2008-05-05 09:05:00 While she was “flying” down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, “What’s your hurry?” To which she ... More About: Priceless
New Symbol for Gas
2008-05-04 08:05:00 The new International symbol for Gas. addthis_url = 'http%3A%2F%2Fwallysjokemail.com%2F2008%2 F05%2Fnew_gas_symbol%2F'; addthis_title = 'New+Symbol+for+Gas'; addthis_pub = '';
Democrat in the Balloon
2008-05-03 09:00:00 A man was traveling in a hot air balloon when he realized he was lost. He lowered the balloon and saw a man in a boat below him. He called to him, ?Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet her an hour ago, but I don?t know where I am.? The ... More About: Balloon , Democrat
$5.00 Gallon Gas Bill
2008-05-02 09:00:00 Click on the photo to see the full $5 bill. addthis_url = 'http%3A%2F%2Fwallysjokemail.com%2F2008%2 F05%2F500-gallon-gas-bill%2F'; addthis_title = '%245.00+Gallon+Gas+Bill '; addthis_pub = '';
One Dollar Golf Resort
2008-04-30 10:05:00 A guy receives an ad in the mail for a golf resort where everything costs one dollar. He jumps at the offer and heads off for a weekend of fun in the sun. He arrives and plays a round of golf. It cost him a buck. His room is only a buck a day! When he goes for dinner that ... More About: Golf , Dollar , Resort
Honeymoon Horror
2008-04-29 10:31:00 A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were spending the first night of their honeymoon. They opened the champagne and began undressing. When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new wife asked, “Ewwww—what’ s wrong with your feet? Your toes look all mangled and weird. Why are your feet so gross?” “I had tolio as a child, ” he answered. “You mean polio?” she asked. “No, tolio. The disease only affected my toes.” The bride was satisfied with this explanation, and they continued undressing. When the groom took off is pants, his bride wrinkled up her nose. “What’s wrong with your knees?” she asked. “They’re all lumpy and deformed!” “As a child, I also had kneasles,” he explained. “You mean measles?” she asked. “No, kneasles. It was a strange illness that only affected my knees.” The new bride had to be satisfied with this answe... More About: Horror , Honeymoon
Monkey in the Bar
2008-04-28 09:39:00 A guy walks in to a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he’s drinking the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. Then he jumps on to the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to every one’s amazement somehow swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, “Did you see what your monkey did?” The guy says, “No, what?” “He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!” “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replies the guy. “He eats everything in sight. Sorry. I’ll pay for everything.” The man finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves. Two weeks later, he’s in the bar again, and his pet monkey is with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He ... More About: Monkey
Left Handed Girfriend
2008-04-27 09:00:00 My wife and I had been married for several months before we had our first big fight. One day she asked me that if she died before I did if I would get married again. I told her, “Yes.” She then asked me if I would let her sleep in our bed. I told her, “Yes.” She then asked me if ... More About: Left , Handed
Dennis Swanberg
2008-04-26 09:05:00 Dennis brings down the Church with his comedy act with “Bengy and the Zipper.” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWH-VToohr o addthis_url = 'http%3A%2F%2Fwallysjokemail.com%2F2008%2 F04%2Fdennis-swanberg%2F'; addthis_title = 'Dennis+Swanberg'; addthis_pub = ''; More About: Dennis
Pregnant Blonde
2008-04-25 10:15:00 The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway jumping for joy! I didn’t know why she was jumping for joy but I started jumping up and down along with her. She said, “I have some really great news!” I said, “Great. Tell me why you’re so happy.” She stopped jumping ... More About: Pregnant , Blonde
Taxi Driver Freaks Out
2008-04-24 10:05:00 A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still ... More About: Taxi Driver , Driver , Freaks , Taxi
Curtain Rod Divorce
2008-04-23 10:56:00 She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a ... More About: Divorce
Cop Stops Elderly Couple
2008-04-22 10:05:00 An elderly couple were driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer said, “Ma’am did you know you were speeding?” The woman, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, “What did he say?” The old man yelled, “He says you were speeding!” The patrolman said, “May ... More About: Couple , Stops , Elderly
Little Johnny in Class
2008-04-21 10:02:00 The teacher was warning the class about the dangers of going out in cold weather improperly dressed. “There was one boy,” she said, “who was so eager to go out and play with his sled that he didn’t put a coat or scarf on. He caught a chill, the chill led to pneumonia… and he died!” The teacher ... More About: Class , Johnny
REDNECK ART made with BBQ RIBS
2008-04-20 16:01:00 addthis_url = 'http%3A%2F%2Fwallysjokemail.com%2F2008%2 F04%2Fredneck-art-made-with-bbq-ribs%2F'; addthis_title = 'REDNECK+ART+made+with+BBQ+RIBS'; addthis_pub = ''; More About: Funny Videos , Made , Redneck
Senior Citizen Driving
2008-04-20 07:05:00 “I’ve sure gotten old” said Fred! “I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. I have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. I can’t ... More About: Senior , Driving , Citizen
Free Sex with Fill-up
2008-04-19 19:40:00 There was this gas station trying to increase its sales, so the owner put up a sign saying “Free Sex with Fill -up.” Soon a customer pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from (1) to (10), and if he guessed correctly, he would get his free ...
18 Ways to be a Good Conservative
2008-04-19 01:30:00 1. You have to be against abortion, but support capital punishment on demand. 2. You have to believe that governments create oppression and businesses create prosperity. 3. You have to believe that the man wearing a turban in the airport is more of a terrorist than the white man carrying a concealed gun. 4. You have to believe ... More About: Republican , Conservative , Good
18 Ways To Be a Good Liberal
More articles from this author:2008-04-19 01:27:00 1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand. 2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity. 3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists. 4. You have ... More About: Liberal , Good , Democrat 1, 2, 3, 4 |
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