Philosophy of Infidelity Philosophy of Infidelity Angst and philosophy of a superficially conventional man who has a secret life in which he succumbs to his greatest weakness - women! Lust, love and poor judgement combine to create a cocktail of emotion, twisted morality and humour. Articles
Mistress Wanted
2008-01-06 00:52:00 *** No longer looking for the time being, thank you. ***Anyway, regardless of what that poll may have said, the need for BOTH love and affection AND sex are getting the better of me.This evening, I signed up to three different dating sites for married people.The thing is though, when the moment came to get my credit card out, I couldn’t quite bring myself to do it.Is it because I am a cheapskate? Is it because I am not ready yet?Actually, it’s because I don’t see why, as one of the world’s leading male adultery bloggers, I should have to pay for the privilege of being put in contact with prospective adulteresses. I had a chat on-line with Cake and she gave me the idea that I may be able to pull attract a new girlfriend through the blog!Well, I like an experiment, especially if it saves me money. So, ladies, if, after reading my blog you think I might be the philanderer for you, please drop me a line and we’ll take it from there.To help you make your mind up I have reproduc... More About: Wanted
’Tis the Season
2008-01-04 22:35:00 My relationship counsellor once told me that she always has a flood of new clients in January.This is because couples are forced to spend more time with one another (and those appalling in-laws) over the Christmas break. As a result, a spouse’s deficiencies are in full view and it becomes impossible to carry on pretending that the marriage is OK.Oh, and there are the temptations of the Christmas party of course!Some people seek marriage counselling.But others will seek alternative outlets: “Counselling is hard work and I want something for ME! I want a bit on the side.”My prediction is that we will be joined by a new influx of adultery bloggers soon!TLazy Philosopher writes about the angst and philosophy of a superficially conventional man who has a secret life in which he succumbs to his greatest weakness: women! More About: Season
Should I Confess to the Affair? (Part 1)
2008-01-04 19:58:00 Well, having done it, I do have a view on this one.The answer is no.The thing is, confessing to W about my affair had a huge impact her.I almost think I could write a book documenting the intensity of her emotional response, her unpredictable mood swings and her bizarre acts of revenge and paranoia.Our relationship counsellor once remarked that discovering your partner has been having an affair is akin to having to cope with their death; and that the recovery process can take two years.I would certainly say that this was true of W. Eighteen months later I would sometimes be acutely aware that a foul mood had descended upon her and that I had better watch out.Here are things which should not be underestimated by a man contemplating confessing his affair to his wife:• the depths of paranoia she will experience;• the intense anger;• the time it will take to recover or even to be rational again;• the difficulty in regaining trust;• her desire to hurt you and take revenge; and... More About: Part , Affair , Fess
Dumped by Text Message
2007-12-28 23:21:00 I have lost count of the number of times S dumped me by text message.I object to it.I don’t like it. It’s rude. Don't do it!I have never dumped anyone this way and I never would.After all, I am a gentleman.If I want to get rid of a lady then I deliberately behave like a twat until she dumps me. It's the polite thing to do.TP.S. The Lazy Philosopher’s Guide to Good Etiquette is coming to a bookshop near you soon. ;-)Lazy Philosopher writes about the angst and philosophy of a superficially conventional man who has a secret life in which he succumbs to his greatest weakness: women! More About: Message , Text , Mess
Christmas Fantasy
2007-12-24 22:08:00 Merry Christmas to you allLove from T xXxLazy Philosopher writes about the angst and philosophy of a superficially conventional man who has a secret life in which he succumbs to his greatest weakness: women! More About: Fantasy
Readership Survey Results
2007-12-24 21:33:00 I am a female cheater (21 votes) 56% I am a male cheater (13 votes) 35% I am female and my partner is the cheater (2 votes) 5% I am male and my partner is the cheater (1 vote) 3% It seems that the majority of my readers are very naughty girls!Tut tut! I am shocked.;-)T xLazy Philosopher writes about the angst and philosophy of a superficially conventional man who has a secret life in which he succumbs to his greatest weakness: women! More About: Survey , Results
Confession of a Mad Man
2007-12-24 00:02:00 The events described in this post follow on from my Caught Between Two Voids post.It was December 2002 and the relationship counselling continued without any sign of a breakthrough. At Christmas, I drove W and the kids up to Scotland to visit my sister’s family.Christmas is a time when you are forced to spend a lot of time with your spouse and there is very little opportunity for escape. Consequently, if your relationship is dysfunctional, the holiday season can be particularly demoralising.That Christmas in Scotland was no exception. W was drinking too much, I was full of self-pity and I was missing S. Oh, and I was no closer to knowing what to do for the best.On Boxing Day I switched on my mobile phone to find that S had decided to resolve the matter herself. Her text message had been sent two days earlier on Christmas Eve.“It’s over. You’re not going to leave her and I’m not going to be a mistress anymore.”I can’t remember much of the few days that followed or how w... More About: Confession , Fess
Caught Between Two Voids
2007-12-18 21:35:00 The events described in this post occurred 5 years ago following on from my Dark Clouds Gathering post.The counselling continued but proceedings were not going in my preferred direction. W refused to acknowledge the futility of our marriage and so amicable separation was not getting onto the agenda.S arrived back in Blighty and I was very impressed that she managed to get herself a new and well paid job within a week.I made arrangements to go and visit her for the weekend. I told W that I needed some time to myself and that I was going to spend the weekend alone in a coastal town.And so S and I were reunited.She was full of plans. She expected that I would be divorced within a year and we would be married shortly afterwards. There was a discussion about where we would live. I came to understand that she wanted children of her own. I seem to recall there was even a discussion about how many people would be invited to the wedding.However, I was in a daze of confusion. In my mind, I co... More About: Caught
Christmas Paranoia
2007-12-18 00:06:00 I have commented before that those who conduct affairs sometimes treat one another in the cruellest of ways.I loved S and she loved me. But I was also afraid of her. And, if I am honest, I still am.You see, she did threaten more than once to tell my wife about the affair if she did not get what she wanted. You might say that this form of blackmail is the single mistress’s equivalent of a wife’s D-bomb.Experience taught me that she would not really spill the beans, or at least she would only do so as a last resort, and so I tried to put the threat out of my mind.I did resent it though. Recently, I have thought a lot more about these threats, not having confronted them properly before. I am aware that Christmas was a difficult time for her and I remain afraid of an outburst. I worry that over the holidays she may lose control of her anger and do something silly.To my mind, a threat to tell my wife is effectively a threat to destroy my marriage and is therefore a threat to the happ... More About: Paranoia
How Emotionally Mature are You?
2007-12-08 22:37:00 You Are 73% Grown Up, 27% KidCongratulations, you are definitely quite emotionally mature.Although you have your moments of moodiness, you're usually stable and level headed.How Emotional ly Mature Are You?Surprised by that one!TLazy Philosopher writes about the angst and philosophy of a superficially conventional man who has a secret life in which he succumbs to his greatest weakness: women!
How Open Minded are You?
2007-12-08 22:26:00 You Are 80% Open MindedYou are so open minded that your brain may have fallen out!Well, not really. But you may be confused on where you stand.You don't have a judgemental bone in your body, and you're very accepting.You enjoy the best of every life philosophy, even if you sometimes contradict yourself.How Open Minded Are You?I like that one.:-)TLazy Philosopher writes about the angst and philosophy of a superficially conventional man who has a secret life in which he succumbs to his greatest weakness: women!
How Evil are You?
2007-12-08 22:22:00 You Are 28% Evil A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well.In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.How Evil Are You?Hmmm... I don't like that one.TLazy Philosopher writes about the angst and philosophy of a superficially conventional man who has a secret life in which he succumbs to his greatest weakness: women!
What Kind of Seducer Are You?
2007-12-08 22:10:00 Your Seduction Style: Sweet TalkerYour seduction technique can be summed up with "charm"You know that if you have the chance to talk to someone...Well, you won't be talking for long! ;-)You're great at telling potential lovers what they want to hear.Partially, because you're a great reflective listener and good at complementing.The other part of your formula? Focusing your conversation completely on the other person.Your "sweet talking" ways have taken you far in romance - and in life.You can finess your way through any difficult situation, with a smile on your face.Speeding tickets, job interviews... bring it on! You truly live a *charmed life*What Kind of Seducer Are You?Hmmm... probably a fair summary.T xLazy Philosopher writes about the angst and philosophy of a superficially conventional man who has a secret life in which he succumbs to his greatest weakness: women!
What Kind of Kisser are You?
2007-12-08 22:03:00 You're a Passionate KisserFor you, kissing is about all about following your urgesIf someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of storyYou can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kissesA total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in troubleWhat Kind of Kisser Are You?Such a clever quiz, lol.;-)T xLazy Philosopher writes about the angst and philosophy of a superficially conventional man who has a secret life in which he succumbs to his greatest weakness: women!
Bitter Irony #2
2007-12-08 17:21:00 I first wrote the content of this post as a comment to a post in DNM’s blog. I thought about it afterwards and, even if I say so myself, I felt it was worthy of a post in its own right. I believe that very few men leave their wives FOR the other woman no matter how much they may love her. When a man leaves his wife then that is an entirely separate event to the act of getting together with his mistress. If these two events happen close together then people say “he left his wife FOR her”. But I don’t think this is true. I think that if a man leaves his wife then that is because the marriage has failed and he would have left his wife anyway. The affair probably happened because he was already mentally prepared to leave the marriage in any case. The more usual case is where the other woman actually makes it more bearable for a man to stay in a poor marriage that he has no intention of leaving (or ability to leave) anyway. It sounds cold, and it took me a long time to und... More About: Irony , Bitter
The Power of Perfume
2007-11-06 00:26:00 Once in a while I will be in a public place, perhaps at the shops, in a pub or out at the theatre, when I will suddenly experience the olfactory equivalent of being launched on a rollercoaster ride.S’s perfume is very distinctive and the effect it has on me is overwhelming.It makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and sends shivers down my spine. It brings back more than memories, it brings back feelings and emotions: intense feelings of pleasure, sex and joy.The shock is almost as great as if I rounded a corner to find her in front of me, smiling at me, speaking to me in her melodic tones.I remember a woman once walking past me in a shoe shop wearing S’s scent. I had to leave. I was in tears.Perfume can be amazing. I have no idea how they make it. To me, it is made of love, lust, desire and essence of S.Thank you Lord. Thank you for perfume.TLazy Philosopher writes about the angst and philosophy of a superficially conventional man who has a secret life in which he su... More About: Power
Giving Away the Mistress
2007-11-05 23:11:00 I think there was a point when I knew I cared for and admired S, but before I realised that I loved her or that she loved me.At that time, I used to fantasise that we could remain friends but she would find someone she could be happy with, a man who was free to marry her.I had this idea that I would give her away at her wedding. (Her father had left her mother when she was a child and she no longer had contact with him).She hated this idea.For a while, I was puzzled as to why.Sometimes I am amazed at how stupid I was.TLazy Philosopher writes about the angst and philosophy of a superficially conventional man who has a secret life in which he succumbs to his greatest weakness: women! More About: Giving , The Mist
Infidelity as a Route to Madness
2007-11-04 21:52:00 I haven’t always relayed things chronologically in the Story of S. Just to highlight how bizarrely I was behaving whilst S was in Australia; let me clarify the timelines at this point.During this period, I was:• struggling to decide whether or not I wanted to leave W for S;• conducting a brief affair with the MILF; and• attending counselling with my wife, W, ostensibly with the intention of saving our marriage.The contradictions that lay behind these activities were pretty much lost on me at the time. A sane person would say that I should have broken off all contact with S and that the last thing I should have been doing was starting another affair. Today, I would agree, but back then I think I was deranged.One thing I would say is that I then believed I was far more emotionally resilient than I have subsequently found myself to be. I suspect that rather than facing up to things properly I was distracting myself by seeing the MILF.There may also have been a self-destruct thi... More About: Route , Infidelity , Deli , Fidelity , Madness
I Hate Aussie Scuba Instructors!
2007-11-03 22:19:00 For the first few weeks of S’s around the world tour we managed to avoid communicating. I was grieving for her and it was a very hard time for me. The frustrating thing was that I couldn’t get my mind to settle on which way I wanted my life to turn. One day I would be totally clear that I needed to be with S and that it was completely impossible to stay with W, despite the pain it would bring to my children and others. The next day, I would be equally clear that I was not prepared to hurt my family and I would resolve to refocus myself on W and the kids.S wrote to me from South Africa. There was nothing much in the email, just an account of what she had been doing, wild animals and safari. It sounded as if she was having a good time. I didn’t reply. What could I have said? I didn’t think it would be particularly useful to tell her about my internal wrangling.After that, I know she spent a few days in Singapore before arriving in Australia. She was to spend six weeks there, m... More About: Hate , Aussie
Time Out
2007-11-03 13:39:00 When S and I resolved to end our affair for the second time she decided that she was going to quit her job and take a holiday of a lifetime in order to get over me. She bought a round the world ticket and made plans to spend time in South Africa, Singapore, Australia, Tahiti and the USA.During our last evening together, she asked me to set up a yahoo web-mail account so that she could receive and send emails from anywhere in the world. I did as she asked. When the moment came for her to decide on her password I pushed the keyboard towards her and invited her to enter it.“No, you do it. Put [censored].”So, I entered the password she wanted (a word which meant something to both of us) and advised her to change it later.“I’ll write and tell you about my trip”, she said.I wasn’t sure that this was such a good idea but I didn’t argue. I was wondering what I was going to do in order to get over her. My head was in a spin and I knew I wasn’t stable.S flew out to Johannesbur... More About: Time , Time Out
Personal DNA Report
2007-11-02 20:09:00 Considerate InventorHmmm... slightly put out by the masculinity/femininity thing...TLazy Philosopher writes about the angst and philosophy of a superficially conventional man who has a secret life in which he succumbs to his greatest weakness: women! More About: Personal , Report
Love Hurts and Secret Love Hurts More
2007-11-02 00:31:00 Recovering from a secret love affair is much harder than recovering from a failed real world relationship.You have the usual grieving process to go through, but there are additional “complications”.First of all, you are not going to get support and sympathy from family and friends are you? You enjoyed the highs of the affair in secret and so you must suffer the lows of the break up alone.And it wasn’t a “natural ending” was it? It’s not as if you grew out of each other or drifted apart. Your time together was so short, so precious and so joyful that there wasn’t time for that. The fact is that you still love each other but real world circumstances have made it too frustrating and too emotionally damaging to carry on. The stresses of maintaining a double life have become too much and there is no choice, for the sake of sanity, but to end it.But how can you let go? This is a person you have connected with like no-one else in your life; someone who truly understands and c... More About: Love , Secret
Society’s Judgement of Adulterers
2007-10-30 00:23:00 Joanne wrote a comment on another blog:"Men are like little boys. They are still not in touch with reality.I think that is why they do not see how wrong having an affair is. They just look upon it as something they can do and will continue to do until they 'get into trouble'.When a woman has an affair it is looked upon as outrageous and how dare she!"Hmmm… I’ll let the “little boy” comment go (*ouch* lol) because I am more intrigued by the suggestion that society looks upon adulterous women less favourably than it does upon adulterous men.You see, I thought it was the other way around!My stereotypical image of a woman having an affair is that she has broken free from the shackles of a miserable marriage, ridding herself of the indifference of some thoughtless drunkard. She is a beacon of light for other women, proof that it is possible for a woman to re-take control of her life, a kind of modern day suffragette.A male adulterer, on the other hand, is, well, just as Joanne ... More About: Judgement
Fifty Reasons to Sleep With Me
2007-10-28 00:53:00 Whilst fishing through my archives for material about former mistresses, I came across a list. It is something I wrote about three years ago during a period in which I was not seeing anyone.It was part of a disgraceful campaign to get my friend C to sleep with me, for which I am now thoroughly ashamed.As I have mentioned previously, C and I have never crossed the line and I am somewhat thankful for that because it would ruin a great friendship. On this occasion, as on others, she was kind enough to turn me down with good grace.That said, having re-read the list, a small part of me is somewhat dismayed that it did not lead to what would certainly have been fantastic sex. Since receiving this list I know she has slept with several other men and frankly C, for I know your read this blog, my ego is dented.Anyway, I told C about finding this list and she encouraged me to post it on the blog. She appreciates the adoration even if she is inexplicably able to resist my body.So, without furt... More About: Sleep , Reasons
Good Rats, Bad Rats and Sex Hooliganism
2007-10-26 17:36:00 Don’t ask me why but a bunch of scientists set up the following experiment. Two enclosures were created, suitable as living environments for large rodents. For reasons which will become clear lets call them “Good Rat World” and “Bad Rate World”. A connecting tunnel was created between Good Rat World and Bad Rat World with a door in it. Then the scientists introduced a bunch of normal healthy rats into Good Rat World. These rats behaved like normal rats should do. They observed all the social rules of rat society. They lived in rat harmony, built nests, gave birth to baby rats and brought up their off-spring to be decent rats and to show respect to their elders. Bear with me on this one… Meanwhile the scientists found some way of messing with rats’ brains so that they could “de-activate” that part of the brain which was responsible for observing proper social behaviour and being a good rat citizen. And yep, you guessed it; they performed this procedur... More About: Rats
Mistress Candidates Queue Here
2007-10-26 13:34:00 Over the last 6 years or so, I have made a hobby of meeting strange women in pubs.Apparently, I am not that unusual. I recently read somewhere that around 30% of the people who have registered with online dating sites are married. After I decided to set about it, online dating was a real eye-opener for me. In creating my profile, I opted for an honest approach. Without labouring the point, I made it clear that I was married and that I wanted to stay in my marriage so discretion was important. Naturally, I also explained that I was looking for fun, adventure and lots of naughty sex. Online etiquette seems to be pretty much the same as in the real world insofar as it is the man’s job to initiate contact by responding to the ladies profiles. The thing that surprised and delighted me was the number of single thirty-something professional women who responded positively to my flirtatious enquiries. The little minxes were almost queuing up to become naughty mistresses. ... More About: Candidates , Queue , Candidate
Other Adultery Blogs
2007-10-23 10:39:00 Most of the infidelity blogs in my blogroll are still being actively updated by their adulterous owners.A couple of fellow adultery bloggers seem to be at crisis points right now (see Nightside Jonny and Anonyma Persona). I find these blogs both compelling and disturbing. They bring back memories of the terrible time I went through when my own life was in crisis. My heart goes out to them and I hope they and the other people in their lives find happiness.But there is another blog which has touched me even more. Lady Mistress's site is no longer being updated but I think it is a very powerful and sad testimony to an affair between a married man and an unmarried woman. The final post brought tears to my eyes.Lady Mistress's pain is the reason why I would never have an affair with a single woman again. I know that everyone's story is different, and I am quite clear that the story of S and I is not identical to hers. However, if an affair of this type grows into a love affair then a ... More About: Blogs , Adultery
My Mistress and the Power of Diamonds
2007-10-19 10:57:00 The first time that S and I tried to end our affair, I decided that I wanted to buy her a farewell gift. The affair had been a momentous thing for me. I had experienced incredibly powerful emotions and we had enjoyed some sensational sex. To me, the brief affair had been a key moment in my life journey. I felt that prior to finding S I had been sleepwalking though life, but she had somehow woken me, slapped me across the face and shown me what it was like to be truly alive. I was grateful to her for this. And, although we did not use the L-word at the time, deep down I knew that I loved her. It was agreed that we would meet one last time. I wanted to buy her some jewellery, which would symbolise what she meant to me. In my mind, she might wear it from time to time and think about me and smile. And I would be able to think of her wearing it and I would look back on the times we shared and I would be able to feel good about it. I was not sure if S would see things that... More About: Power , Diamonds
Rant of a man who never learns
2007-10-17 23:30:00 When I have a mistress, it all gets a bit too complicated for comfort. When I don’t have a mistress, I am lonely and I miss the excitement, the companionship, the secrets and the sex! Bloody mistresses. You can’t live with ‘em and you can’t live without ‘em. I think I may have to go shopping for a new one soon... TLazy Philosopher writes about the angst and philosophy of a superficially conventional man who has a secret life in which he succumbs to his greatest weakness: women! More About: Rant , A Man
World's Sexiest Alternative Celebrity Sex Goddess Survey - Vote Now!
More articles from this author:2007-10-17 21:33:00 OK, it's time. We need to decide who is the world's sexiest woman!But this competition is not for conventional contestants. I am not interested in a twenty-something air-head with no personality and no proven track record of being super-sexy!I am looking for a woman who has reached the peak of her powers; a woman who knows what she wants and always gets it; a woman who is, quite simply, pure, liquid sex.This is MY blog so I have decided on the short-listed ladies using my impeccable taste and good judgement. They are:the world's sexiest property show host, who also happens to have the world's sexiest voice: Kirsty Allsopp;the world's sexiest celebrity chef and goddess of food porn: Nigella Lawson; andthe world's sexiest actress who just seems to get sexier and sexier: Lynda BellinghamVote now!TP.S. The prize for the winning lady is a date with the Lazy Philosopher followed by a night of passion in a deluxe room at the Dorchester hotel in London. The runner up will receive the ... More About: Celebrity , Alternative , Survey , Goddess 1, 2, 3, 4 |
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