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Philosophy of Infidelity

Philosophy of Infidelity
Angst and philosophy of a superficially conventional man who has a secret life in which he succumbs to his greatest weakness - women! Lust, love and poor judgement combine to create a cocktail of emotion, twisted morality and humour.
Articles: 1, 2, 3, 4


Creative Writing for Reptiles
2009-01-03 20:31:00
There is a theory that different parts of the human brain have developed incrementally over the course of evolutionary history. The most fundamental brain functions, those concerned with minute-to-minute survival (such as breathing, balance and the fight-or-flight response), derive from the most ancient and primitive core, a part which is shared with more primitive mammals and even reptiles. The more sophisticated functions of the human brain (those which provide the power of reason and speech), are unique to higher mammals and humans and represent evolution's most recent achievements.Naturally, sexual desire is associated with the primitive.I have a theory that the best art forms are those which simultaneously stimulate both our modern and ancient brains.For this reason, I often employ a systematic approach to my writing. First of all, I will try and get in touch with my primitive brain. Good ways of deactivating the neo-cortex and awakening your inner reptile include listening to...
More About: Creative , Writing , Reptiles , Creative Writing
2008 in Facts and Figures
2008-12-30 10:20:00
Good Things1. CateWe met 13 times, had sex (an estimated) 44 times, ate 11 restaurant meals, shared 1 picnic and suffered several hundred insect bites. Without doubt she gives the best BJ I have ever known. Also, she has the best ass. She is a truly fabulous person and she has made me very happy.2. My blogAt the peak of its popularity, on one day in June, I got 239 visits from 165 unique visitors who viewed 746 pages whilst staying for an average of 7 minutes and 10 seconds each. Until I moved the scary stuff to my private blog, I briefly had a Google page rank of 4 (whatever that means) and an Izearanks "RealRank" of less than 700.3. My blog has been banned by the Burmese military junta.Excellent!4. I have enjoyed work!Strange but true.5. I have probably read more books than in the previous five years.I must keep this up.Bad Things1. I made my neighbour cry.She violated my value system.2. I had on-line arguments with two fellow bloggers.They started it and they should have known I ...
More About: Facts , Figures , 2008
Trial and Error
2008-12-22 21:02:00
Lets review progress on the path to enlightenment shall we?(1) I had an affair with a single woman (here).What we had in common: Inability to let go.Problem: Incompatible goals.Result: TOTAL FUCKING DISASTER!!!!(2) I had an affair with a married woman (here).What we had in common: Not a lot really.Problem: She was hopeless with the computer. Her husband wasn't.Result: NEAR TOTAL FUCKING DISASTER!!!!(3) Not to be deterred, I tried again. I had an affair with another married woman (Cate).What we had in common: Romantic dreamers.Problem: She had a habit of pressing the eject button. I have used up my last parachute.Result: TOTAL FUCKING EXASPERATION!!!!Spot a pattern yet?I am considering my options. However, just at the moment, I am somewhat demoralised. I need a helping hand to show me the way.Dear readers, would you be so kind as to give me a little advice? What is your advice for T? ( surveys)T
More About: Trial , Error
Pleasure-Pain Theory
2008-12-21 22:58:00
A couple of years ago there was an advertising campaign here in the UK in which people appeared to enjoy near-orgasmic experiences whilst consuming a yoghurt related product.Each time an attractive lady tucked into a tasty, creamy carton of healthy goodness some poor sod on the other side of the world would suffer a seriously painful accident such as falling off a ladder or walking into a glass door.Oh how I laughed at this humorous take on the "pleasure-pain theory".Mind you, it's not so funny when it happens for real. Especially when the good and the bad stuff happen to the same person, namely, yours truly, Mr T. Pepper.This week I successfully completed two major work projects and received a large pay rise along with a promotion.On the other hand I got dumped.I don't know whether to laugh or cry.T
More About: Pain , Theory , Pleasure
2008-11-13 22:46:00
Years ago, when W and I were in couples' counselling following my first affair, I remember her venting her outrage that I had maintained such normality at home whilst conducting a parallel life.She felt that I must have been acting when I was with her because my duplicity must have always been at the forefront of my mind. I think she felt that my entire behaviour: my attitude, my actions, everything about the way I interacted with her must have been false."Oh! No, it wasn't like that at all," I tried to reassure her, truthfully.You see, that isn't how it is for me.When I return home after a tryst I can "switch" my mind. When I am home, I don't act my role in our marital partnership. I live it. It is real. When we are together she is truly my wife, my partner of 20 years, the mother of my children. I respect her, I love her and I care for her.I know that there will be a large number of people who will read this and fail to comprehend the state (or rather states) of mind I am tryi...
2008-11-12 22:22:00
Er, guys...As you may know, I installed a star rating feature on this blog some time ago. I did this in an attempt to understand which posts people enjoyed the most.Some of the results have amused me although they have not done much for my faith in human nature.I can't help noticing that if I write about how happy I am and how wonderful things are I tend to get a very poor rating. For example, this cheery post received a 1.5 star rating (out of 5).On the other hand, when I write about Cate and I ending our affair you lap it up (5 stars)!Shame on you!T
A New Friendship
2008-11-10 20:34:00
I spoke with Cate on the phone today.It was a good conversation. Quality communication. We were able to say a lot before the emotion finally choked us.I won't say that I wanted our affair to end. I didn't. But I will say that I understand why she had to call a halt and I do respect it.Really.More than that, I am happy for her. Today, she seemed stronger, more certain and more in control than I have ever known her. She made me smile. I am genuinely happy that she has found firmness of purpose.Long term readers will know that I advise ex-extramarital lovers against the temptation to remain friends. Nonetheless, it is what we both want. And so, that is what we intend to do. We have already convinced ourselves that it is safe to do so because of the distance between us. For us to fall off the wagon we would both have to give in to temptation and maintain our state of weakness for the week or so it always takes to arrange a meeting.Not likely.I love Cate. Very much so. She is a very ki...
More About: Friendship
Mixing Pleasure with Pleasure
2008-10-23 22:47:00
We British are not famed for our cuisine but we should be.Or at least we should be famed for our imported culinary triumphs. There are those who say that originality is to be applauded but if you ask me it is more important to recognise the best that others have to offer and to steal consume it!Cate and I have enjoyed Thai, Chinese, Indian, Japanese, Italian, Belgian, English and Spanish (kind of).When the British came home from the Empire to be faced with boiled ham and cabbage it was very kind of the people of the world to take pity on us, to follow us back to Blighty and feed us.Though I appreciate the variety I always like American as an appetiser. She is premium quality, a luxurious creamy delight in a perfect package.She makes me SO hungry and I cannot help but gorge myself.Mind you, she is quite the gourmet herself. Sometimes I am her quarry and that is a greater luxury still. I am powerless to resist as this all consuming lioness has her fill.Oh, and now I come to think of i...
More About: Pleasure
Thought Crime
2008-10-09 22:42:00
"It would be so much easier if he would just die!"These were the words of a former mistress. She was talking about her husband.She quickly reassured me that she didn't mean it. I laughed and told her not to worry. These were the days before thought crime actually became illegal in the UK. I told her that everyone thinks like that sometimes.I know I do.Long term readers will know that I like to focus attention on uncomfortable truths on this blog.Let's give it a go shall we? You don't have to be an adulterer to do this. All you need is a spouse. Or, maybe even an ex-spouse!Respond to the option(s) which most closely match your own thought crimes. Multiple selections are allowed. Are you guilty of Thought Crime ? ( polls)T
Strictly vs X-Factor
2008-10-05 23:20:00
At a dinner party this weekend I noticed that house prices are no longer the main preoccupation of the English middle classes.Times are hard and so we have turned our attention to more important things.The big question of the day was this: which is best? X-Factor or Strictly?* sighs *How completely ridiculous! Have people gone mad? It isn't even a serious question.It should be perfectly obvious to anyone with an ounce of brain that Strictly is by far the best show.What I don't understand is how this stuff can be shown before the watershed. It's better than porn!T
More About: X Factor , X-Factor
2008-09-29 21:11:00
I have created a new private blog called Philosophy of Infidelity Confidential and transferred a large number of my older, more incriminating posts into it.You won't be surprised to hear that the private blog contains the storyline that I fear could be recognised if the wrong people were to stumble upon it. However, I am happy to give regular, trusted readers access so drop me a line if you want to peruse the back catalogue of horrors.There will be a few broken links for a while but rest assured I will tidy them up in time.T
Time Out
2008-09-15 21:41:00
I am all blogged out.I have (temporarily) lost the will, the drive and the passion to blog.I need to take a break to recharge my batteries. The creative juices are depleted and they need time to regenerate.So, I am going to take a time out.Please don't worry about me. I am fine. Fantastic in fact: things are absolutely great with Cate and I am exceptionally happy right now.Take care guys. I will miss you.I'll be back.T
More About: Time , Time Out
Ignorance is Bliss
2008-09-08 22:21:00
This weekend, Apple-of-Daddy's-Eye #1 demanded we go to the cinema to see The Duchess, a historical drama. Being the doting father that I am, I relented and took the whole family. As it happens, I found the film extremely interesting and, despite the mixed reviews it is receiving, I would recommend it to all adulterers who are romantically inclined. It is a tale of an unhappy marriage in an 18th Century aristocratic family. The heroine, Georgiana, is married to the Duke of Devonshire, a man who is apparently incapable of having an emotional relationship with his wife or of showing her compassion. He openly conducts affairs without concealing them and ultimately takes a mistress who takes up permanent residence in the marital home palace. The Duchess starts an affair of her own with a politician, Charles Grey, whereupon she seeks her husband's agreement to continue the relationship. She presumably makes this request on the assumption that that he will have the decency to recogni...
More About: Ignorance
Film Roles - Part II
2008-09-05 14:55:00
This post has been moved to my private blog.
More About: Film , Part
Film Roles
2008-09-04 23:05:00
This post has been moved to my private blog.
More About: Film
My Journey
2008-09-02 21:51:00
There are two ways to read this blog.You can either read it as I wrote it or you can read the episodes I have been recounting in the sequence in which they occurred.The egomaniac in me would like to think that the Story of S could, with a certain amount of editing, be turned into a book worthy of publication. Obviously, I couldn't ever let that happen for fear of the consequences but I do sometimes allow myself to fantasise. God knows what inner trauma it would cause me if the opportunity ever arose.However, a book, unlike a blog, cannot give both views. Looking back, I am personally fascinated by the other story in this blog: the personal journey I took as I wrote it.The blog's purpose has changed more than once along the way.In the beginning I didn't really have a clear objective. In fact, I didn't initially intend for it to be a blog with an infidelity theme. I just began to write about what came into my head.But the theme quickly emerged. It was as if my blog became the esca...
More About: Journey , My Journey
The Final Communication
2008-09-01 21:48:00
This post has been moved to my private blog.
More About: Communication , Final
Dead Couple Walking
2008-08-31 23:54:00
This post has been moved to my private blog.
More About: Walking , Couple , Dead
Head in Sand
2008-08-28 22:45:00
This post has been moved to my private blog.
More About: Sand , Head
Breaking out of the Loop
2008-08-26 16:44:00
This post has been moved to my private blog.
More About: Breaking , Loop
2008-08-26 00:05:00
Long time readers may recall that the last time I reported on my blog statistics I was somewhat puzzled at the lack of Australian readers. I am now pleased to report that the Aussies have begun to come out of the woodwork. Over the last month the Antipodeans have been visiting the Philosophy of Infidelity at a rate of 5.0 visits per million residents. This means they are catching up with the USA (7.0) and Canada (7.9) although the UK (14.4) still heads the table when it comes to following this blogger's quest to spill the beans. I’m glad that the elusive Aussies have finally made an appearance. Unfortunately, it may be that their new found interest in these pages has put them off their sport. Let's take one more look at the Olympic medal table.Dear Aussie readers: welcome to my blog!Please take the following special message in the spirit that it is intended.Hahahahahahahahaha!Better luck next time.T
More About: Olympics
2008-08-17 12:00:00
This post has been moved to my private blog.
More About: Isolation
2008-08-15 09:43:00
This post has been moved to my private blog.
Family Support
2008-08-13 23:17:00
This post has been moved to my private blog.
More About: Family , Support
All’s Fair in Love and War
2008-08-11 15:04:00
This post has been moved to my private blog.
More About: Love , Fair
Status Report
2008-04-09 22:59:00
OK, so by now many of you will have read Cate's blog and spotted that we have not broken up after all!I am a little embarrassed because of all the lovely supportive messages you left me. Thank you for the emotional support and the encouragement to carry on blogging.Please rest assured that I will carry on. I don't really hate my blog. I still have plenty of ideas and stories bubbling away and I am sure that my productivity will pick up again shortly and normal service will be resumed.In the mean time one message that was coming through to me loud and clear in the comments on my last post was that this blog is not glorifying infidelity. I am glad about that. It has always been my hope that this blog can be a honest reflection of a topic that is often misunderstood.That isn't to say infidelity is a good thing. It isn't. But equally, I believe that many people who are involved in adultery are fundamentally good people.It's just that they are also human.TLazy Philosopher writes abo...
More About: Report , Status
I Hate My Blog
2008-04-06 23:00:00
In my experience, having an affair is almost like being schizophrenic. You inhabit two different worlds in which you expose and exercise two different sets of emotions. Switching between these worlds can take its toll and sometimes, depending upon their alignment, there can be painful emotional leakage crossing between them.OMG! Am I beginning to sound like an astrologer?I am experiencing this phenomenon at the moment due to recent behavioural changes and remarks from W.“I am so glad we stayed together after your affair [with S]. I feel like we have come through it. I trust you again now, something which I never thought would happen.” “At the time of your affair, my friend Jane told me to divorce you. She said that any man who has an affair will almost certainly re-offend. You haven't and I am so glad I didn’t listen to her.”Fuck!I have been experiencing guilt. I have been feeling like a complete shit!In fact, I have been standing back and taking a long hard look at myse...
More About: Blog , Hate
2008-03-28 17:01:00
Today, I want to scoop Cate up in my arms.I want to spin her around, throw her up in the air and catch her.I want to hold her tight and breathe in her scent.I want to touch her, taste her and devour her.Cate is fabulous. She makes me happy. She makes me feel so alive!And she has a blog.* very big smile *TLazy Philosopher writes about the angst and philosophy of a superficially conventional man who has a secret life in which he succumbs to his greatest weakness: women!
2008-03-24 20:27:00
In response to my Pushed to the Edge post, Ms Inconspicuous wrote"You must be exceedingly tolerant and patient... Even if I had been in the wrong, I'm not sure I could take that kind of attack session after session and leave with more than shreds of myself intact."I appreciate the complement, but unfortunately it isn't deserved.The thing is, I sometimes make the mistake of thinking that I am more emotionally resilient than I actually am. And those sessions were a case in point.I knew it would be hard. I knew W had set out to give me hell but I thought I could take it. I thought I could weather the storm and come through it unscathed.But, after three months, W had me on the ropes. I was desperate for a crumb of encouragement and none had been forthcoming. My resolve was weak and I was primed for a fresh mistake.W had received a number of telephone calls which, when answered, had been immediately hung up. She became convinced that it was something to do with S.I did not believe that...
More About: Toys
Seven Deadly Sins
2008-03-21 23:34:00
Greed:High Gluttony:High Wrath:Medium Sloth:High Envy:Low Lust:Very High Pride:High Discover Your Sins - Click HereLazy Philosopher writes about the angst and philosophy of a superficially conventional man who has a secret life in which he succumbs to his greatest weakness: women!
More About: Deadly
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