United States of Motherhood

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The Reveal Show: Self-Hair Shearing
2007-10-08 18:43:00
Well, what do you think?I deliberately made it layered, so it's hard for your average Mommy to be able tell if it's straight. It's growing on me. It still fits in a pony tail. It was free and... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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Hairy Carnage
2007-10-07 19:43:00
This is the pile that's left after cutting 3 inches and then another inch, then another, then another: I am thinking this might make a great hummingbird nest, eh? Recycled Republican hair has got... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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FED UP! On a Wild Hair..
2007-10-06 22:32:00
Late breaking news, people. This Mommy finally lost it. I just cut my own hair. We aren't talking a trim. I cut a full SIX inches off. Oh. My. God. Does this ever seem a good idea? I... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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Sunday Sots and Shiver Me Timbers
2007-10-01 05:46:00
Is it wrong that when I read of several prominent bloggers honorable quests to be free from the evils of liquor, my only thought is that there's more for me: Fuck it! I'm a lush! Four shots of... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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Yo! Ungrateful Bi-otch.
2007-09-25 21:43:00
So, not to be mean to anyone, but I'm not a fan of all the memes and blog awards that get flung around the blogosphere. This creates a conundrum: What do I do when I get both in one week? Me?... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.

Compassion
2007-09-25 18:27:00
Last week, I happened upon a poor soul. She lay cold and dead, with her magnificent brown and black feathers spread as if to say, "Look at my beauty one last time." It was a crisp, autumnal morning... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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Kindergarten Grassy Knoll
2007-09-15 16:53:00
All the Mommies in the web are bereft with their little bundles of joy's first day of school. Me not so much. After three kids, I couldn't wait for Li'l Man to leave the nest to stick bits i'... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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Paternal Legacy
2007-09-12 17:45:00
‘Twas a good visit. Really. Seriously. Eight days scheduled non-stop fun with my parents just as the kids and I were getting ready for school might not have been a bright idea on my part, but it... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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Bad, Bad Blogger
2007-09-03 08:29:00
Yes, I've been AWOL. Spank me! No really, family's come a-visiting and so life has been a bit crazy. We've visited all known tourists spots in Seattle and the Eastside and even fit in a visit to the... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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Marital Secrets: My Bed Sheets are Sand Dunes
2007-08-24 17:59:00
Ahhhemm...cough....cough....{nervously clearing throat} I have a secret that I think I might just share in this post. I know. I know. What could I possibly be secretive about, eh? No, it's not... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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Troll Dildos: Mother Nature is So Dirty
2007-08-20 08:31:00
So, don't ever say Mother Nature doesn't have a sense of humor. How about these 'shrooms? Brings new meaning to fun-gi, eh? As seen on our hike in the Mt. Rainier National Park on the,no joke,... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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Weeeee'rrrrreee Back
2007-08-20 05:18:00
We went on a fun, fun, fun camping trip to Mt. Rainier this weekend, hence no posts and visits to all your blogs. We spent our time on death march hikes and ogling the splendiferous nature. Now... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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LOVE is a Battlefield
2007-08-17 18:59:00
Nope it's not our anniversary. It's not his birthday. I just felt the need to give a holla to CG. You rock. You bought me Funyans for camping. You bought me cream for the coffee you made me. You eat... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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Pigment-ly Challenged
2007-08-17 17:18:00
I grew up in a family as a fair, blue-green eyed, blond haired, freckled little girl amongst olive skinned, dark hair and brown eyed kids. See pale kid=1. Tanned, brunettes=5. Somewhere along the... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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I Bought it On eBay
2007-08-16 17:20:00
Ahhh...another year rolls by. Eldest is officially eleven and he's got the eye roll to prove it: I'm shocked at how fast he's growing up. He's getting so tall and so gangly. One nice thing is... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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Bloody, Bloody Gas Guzzlers & Gaming Woes
2007-08-15 23:14:00
Yesterday, I visited my favorite budget buster, Costco, once again. It's been one of those months where I spent more at Costco that some third world countries pay for educating women. Ack! Usually I... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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Naked Guy: Where Art Thou?
2007-08-13 16:23:00
When I went to Berkeley, we had this total waste of DNA called the "Naked Guy." You might remember him? He got national coverage on all the networks for attending classes all year naked. Nope, he... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.

Effing Gardening
2007-08-12 07:24:00
So about 3 months late, our back garden is really shaping up. We cinched down some cypress trees in the back today that have been leaning over since this winter's wind storm. We cleaned up the flower... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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Surfing Over Glass Houses
2007-08-11 00:15:00
Dearest White Tahoe Driving Mommy in the Issaquah Costco parking lot, I would like to thank you for the copious bumper stickers with which you have decorated your delicious SUV. I appreciated... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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Call Me Super Mommy: I Took the Money Update
2007-08-10 19:04:00
This Pin Up Mommy really screwed the pooch on this one: Li'l Man comes to me after breakfast with pleading eyes. "Can I? Mom?" He asks while waving his DS. Ha! Now I can get him. Let him know the... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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I Took The Money
2007-08-10 03:51:00
Life's so hard. I think it's time for a Pinup Mommy of the Year Award: Li'l Man comes running up to me after a dinner of cold cereal with the rest of the half 'n half. Sounding like a little... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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Want to Read It From The Beginning?
2007-08-09 23:45:00
For a limited time only, to celebrate my 35th birthday and coincidentally, hitting the 3500 visitors mark, the entirety of my blog, in all it's inane blathering glory, is all on one page. *Read how... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.

You are SO Damn Selfish
2007-08-09 19:00:00
Dearest Husband, Today is our 129 month anniversary. I love you. I'm am still aglow on how well you nailed ... my birthday. Everyone covets my tampon holder especially. I am however going to be... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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Ferocious Puppies
2007-08-09 10:20:00
This is my shadow, Seb: And this picture is quite honestly the scariest picture of a dog I have ever seen. I jump every time it flashes on my screen. (I've saved you the agony because I haven't... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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My Morning Has Been FULL of Butterflies
2007-08-08 23:50:00
"That's it, [PB] cares more about snails than people." Can you hear the outrage quivering in my 11-year-old's voice? Surprise, the sister you've been teasing all morning prefers bugs to you? {gasp}... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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It's My Birthday & I Can Gloat if I Want 2
2007-08-08 19:37:00
So, turning thirty-five is ALLL right. Can I just say CG did a great job. No surprise visitors. Just quality time with the family. A great dinner at a hard to get into local restaurant. More... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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Evil Costco Samples
2007-02-25 22:57:00
I rarely buy the products I sample at Cost co...and yet, I still sample them like a college student seeks free food. However, yesterday I was finally lured to the dark side. Costco has this new product: The Greek Gods honey Flavoured Traditional Greek Yogurt. It's free of cow hormones, but that is not why I bought it. I bought it for it's thick, honeyed goodness and almost goat cheesy tang. I bought it for its rich mouth feel and silky, velvety melt in your mouth taste. Yum! So you should translate that as this is the first time I have eaten full-fat (10 grams ) yogurt after 10 years of non-fat Yoplait.But wait! There's more.... I bought it in two 24-ounce packages (Yep, Costco alright) and there's maybe 1 cup left. Moreover, I didn't eat the most of it. The kids LOOOOVE it! I told them it tasted better than ice cream (Sorry, honey, I know you work for an ice cream company and they are responsible for the fat bonus we are getting, but it's still betta!) As we speak, remains I a...
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'*uck the Cup
2007-02-22 20:03:00
What's in your Starbucks cup? I went to http://www.mystarbuckstshirt.com/ to get my shirt from Project Runway star Michael Knight. Those fuckbucks were out of their phantom t-shirts for the day, but here's what it would have looked like:I have got to say I love both Knight and Starbucks--and not just because I live in the Seattle area or my sister manages a Starbucks either. I have always LOVED coffee--both the idea of it as child in a Mormon household and the taste. My Mom would slip me Coffee Nip candies as a child all the time, which were my favorite. She claims and still claims to this day that it's not real coffee. Ahem... Anyway, I have charming memories as a teenager with a love affair with coffee in a Mormon household. Mom, thankfully, never did let on that she knew I had a coffee maker brewing coffee in my closet. She didn't even comment on the gurgling of the cheap coffee maker burping. And she and I both loved Jamoca (again no coffee in there) Almond Fudge. Until my h...

EEETTT'S A-LIIIIVVVVVVEEEE
2007-02-22 17:02:00
So, after spending a couple hours corralling and coaching 5th Graders with the urge for self-mutilation by cutting cardboard with dull pocket knives and hacksaws with their _____ (insert word: leg, finger, friend's neck) underneath said cardboard with myself having no affinity for power tools and electric staple guns, I crashed hard time. I had made a promise to myself to not coach Destination Imagination this year. Last year, it somewhat sucked the life out of me. And yet, I found myself subbing for my eldest's new coach who had the flu. She's also a good friend or else, I would have laughed in the face of anyone who asked me to coach again. Anyway, it went well and we are 1/10 closer as a team to being slightly prepared for the competition next week. Ack! Again, so glad I am not the full time coach.Swim practice was cancelled for the afternoon, so after homework, I capitulated to son #1 working on his science fair a.k.a. "Slime From the Black Lagoon" project. I grabbed a glass ...

Feeling Pink
2007-02-21 16:38:00
No, silly, I didn't feel up a pop star with a pink 'do. No, I did some blog fluffing. Still nothing cool. I need to find the time to come up with a cool masthead. Umm, sure, next decade. So, pink will have to do. So very princess, girlie of me. Princess Baby would be proud. At least one new blog a day! ~Scout's Honor
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