United States of Motherhood

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Paternal Legacy
2007-09-12 17:45:00
‘Twas a good visit. Really. Seriously. Eight days scheduled non-stop fun with my parents just as the kids and I were getting ready for school might not have been a bright idea on my part, but it... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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Bad, Bad Blogger
2007-09-03 08:29:00
Yes, I've been AWOL. Spank me! No really, family's come a-visiting and so life has been a bit crazy. We've visited all known tourists spots in Seattle and the Eastside and even fit in a visit to the... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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Marital Secrets: My Bed Sheets are Sand Dunes
2007-08-24 17:59:00
Ahhhemm...cough....cough....{nervously clearing throat} I have a secret that I think I might just share in this post. I know. I know. What could I possibly be secretive about, eh? No, it's not... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
More About: Sand , Secrets , Shee

Troll Dildos: Mother Nature is So Dirty
2007-08-20 08:31:00
So, don't ever say Mother Nature doesn't have a sense of humor. How about these 'shrooms? Brings new meaning to fun-gi, eh? As seen on our hike in the Mt. Rainier National Park on the,no joke,... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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Weeeee'rrrrreee Back
2007-08-20 05:18:00
We went on a fun, fun, fun camping trip to Mt. Rainier this weekend, hence no posts and visits to all your blogs. We spent our time on death march hikes and ogling the splendiferous nature. Now... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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LOVE is a Battlefield
2007-08-17 18:59:00
Nope it's not our anniversary. It's not his birthday. I just felt the need to give a holla to CG. You rock. You bought me Funyans for camping. You bought me cream for the coffee you made me. You eat... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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Pigment-ly Challenged
2007-08-17 17:18:00
I grew up in a family as a fair, blue-green eyed, blond haired, freckled little girl amongst olive skinned, dark hair and brown eyed kids. See pale kid=1. Tanned, brunettes=5. Somewhere along the... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
More About: Pigment , Halle

I Bought it On eBay
2007-08-16 17:20:00
Ahhh...another year rolls by. Eldest is officially eleven and he's got the eye roll to prove it: I'm shocked at how fast he's growing up. He's getting so tall and so gangly. One nice thing is... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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Bloody, Bloody Gas Guzzlers & Gaming Woes
2007-08-15 23:14:00
Yesterday, I visited my favorite budget buster, Costco, once again. It's been one of those months where I spent more at Costco that some third world countries pay for educating women. Ack! Usually I... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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Naked Guy: Where Art Thou?
2007-08-13 16:23:00
When I went to Berkeley, we had this total waste of DNA called the "Naked Guy." You might remember him? He got national coverage on all the networks for attending classes all year naked. Nope, he... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.

Effing Gardening
2007-08-12 07:24:00
So about 3 months late, our back garden is really shaping up. We cinched down some cypress trees in the back today that have been leaning over since this winter's wind storm. We cleaned up the flower... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
More About: Gardening , Arden , Garde

Surfing Over Glass Houses
2007-08-11 00:15:00
Dearest White Tahoe Driving Mommy in the Issaquah Costco parking lot, I would like to thank you for the copious bumper stickers with which you have decorated your delicious SUV. I appreciated... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
More About: Surfing , Houses , Glass

Call Me Super Mommy: I Took the Money Update
2007-08-10 19:04:00
This Pin Up Mommy really screwed the pooch on this one: Li'l Man comes to me after breakfast with pleading eyes. "Can I? Mom?" He asks while waving his DS. Ha! Now I can get him. Let him know the... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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I Took The Money
2007-08-10 03:51:00
Life's so hard. I think it's time for a Pinup Mommy of the Year Award: Li'l Man comes running up to me after a dinner of cold cereal with the rest of the half 'n half. Sounding like a little... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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Want to Read It From The Beginning?
2007-08-09 23:45:00
For a limited time only, to celebrate my 35th birthday and coincidentally, hitting the 3500 visitors mark, the entirety of my blog, in all it's inane blathering glory, is all on one page. *Read how... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.

You are SO Damn Selfish
2007-08-09 19:00:00
Dearest Husband, Today is our 129 month anniversary. I love you. I'm am still aglow on how well you nailed ... my birthday. Everyone covets my tampon holder especially. I am however going to be... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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Ferocious Puppies
2007-08-09 10:20:00
This is my shadow, Seb: And this picture is quite honestly the scariest picture of a dog I have ever seen. I jump every time it flashes on my screen. (I've saved you the agony because I haven't... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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My Morning Has Been FULL of Butterflies
2007-08-08 23:50:00
"That's it, [PB] cares more about snails than people." Can you hear the outrage quivering in my 11-year-old's voice? Surprise, the sister you've been teasing all morning prefers bugs to you? {gasp}... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
More About: Morning , Full , Butterflies , Has Been

It's My Birthday & I Can Gloat if I Want 2
2007-08-08 19:37:00
So, turning thirty-five is ALLL right. Can I just say CG did a great job. No surprise visitors. Just quality time with the family. A great dinner at a hard to get into local restaurant. More... Such a tease, I know. Want to read the rest? See photos? Watch video? Read more at the source: United States of Motherhood.
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Evil Costco Samples
2007-02-25 22:57:00
I rarely buy the products I sample at Cost co...and yet, I still sample them like a college student seeks free food. However, yesterday I was finally lured to the dark side. Costco has this new product: The Greek Gods honey Flavoured Traditional Greek Yogurt. It's free of cow hormones, but that is not why I bought it. I bought it for it's thick, honeyed goodness and almost goat cheesy tang. I bought it for its rich mouth feel and silky, velvety melt in your mouth taste. Yum! So you should translate that as this is the first time I have eaten full-fat (10 grams ) yogurt after 10 years of non-fat Yoplait.But wait! There's more.... I bought it in two 24-ounce packages (Yep, Costco alright) and there's maybe 1 cup left. Moreover, I didn't eat the most of it. The kids LOOOOVE it! I told them it tasted better than ice cream (Sorry, honey, I know you work for an ice cream company and they are responsible for the fat bonus we are getting, but it's still betta!) As we speak, remains I a...
More About: Samples , Evil , Sample

'*uck the Cup
2007-02-22 20:03:00
What's in your Starbucks cup? I went to http://www.mystarbuckstshirt.com/ to get my shirt from Project Runway star Michael Knight. Those fuckbucks were out of their phantom t-shirts for the day, but here's what it would have looked like:I have got to say I love both Knight and Starbucks--and not just because I live in the Seattle area or my sister manages a Starbucks either. I have always LOVED coffee--both the idea of it as child in a Mormon household and the taste. My Mom would slip me Coffee Nip candies as a child all the time, which were my favorite. She claims and still claims to this day that it's not real coffee. Ahem... Anyway, I have charming memories as a teenager with a love affair with coffee in a Mormon household. Mom, thankfully, never did let on that she knew I had a coffee maker brewing coffee in my closet. She didn't even comment on the gurgling of the cheap coffee maker burping. And she and I both loved Jamoca (again no coffee in there) Almond Fudge. Until my h...

EEETTT'S A-LIIIIVVVVVVEEEE
2007-02-22 17:02:00
So, after spending a couple hours corralling and coaching 5th Graders with the urge for self-mutilation by cutting cardboard with dull pocket knives and hacksaws with their _____ (insert word: leg, finger, friend's neck) underneath said cardboard with myself having no affinity for power tools and electric staple guns, I crashed hard time. I had made a promise to myself to not coach Destination Imagination this year. Last year, it somewhat sucked the life out of me. And yet, I found myself subbing for my eldest's new coach who had the flu. She's also a good friend or else, I would have laughed in the face of anyone who asked me to coach again. Anyway, it went well and we are 1/10 closer as a team to being slightly prepared for the competition next week. Ack! Again, so glad I am not the full time coach.Swim practice was cancelled for the afternoon, so after homework, I capitulated to son #1 working on his science fair a.k.a. "Slime From the Black Lagoon" project. I grabbed a glass ...

Feeling Pink
2007-02-21 16:38:00
No, silly, I didn't feel up a pop star with a pink 'do. No, I did some blog fluffing. Still nothing cool. I need to find the time to come up with a cool masthead. Umm, sure, next decade. So, pink will have to do. So very princess, girlie of me. Princess Baby would be proud. At least one new blog a day! ~Scout's Honor
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Friendly Neighborhood Food Pusher
2007-02-20 18:33:00
So the diet and treadmill while blogging hasn't been working out. In fact, working out lately for me is a big, FAT joke. That said, I know I need to persevere. After some thought, I came up with an observation. All my truly skinny friends are food pushers. My mother, who was always 10 lbs. underweight growing up, was always pushing food as well. My 6'4" Dad went from 180 to well over 300 lbs. during their marriage. See what I mean! That's right. These pushers do snack constantly as if sampling their own innocent wares, but they seem to get their enjoyment from food by making it and GIVING it away to others--and often me. So, maybe I should follow their tactics. Make luscious banana bread, wrap it up and send it's evil fat grammy heavy loaf-y-ness to someone else. Carrot cake cookies with spicy goodness and thick cream cheese frosting--off you go! When I think of it this way, what once I thought was altruism from the skinnies is quite dastardly evil. Well, let the malevolent culi...
More About: Food , Usher , Friend , Hood , Friendly

Daddy-Daughter Dance
2007-02-20 01:51:00
Princess Baby went to a Daddy -Daughter dance last week with CG. Oh, to be a fly on the wall.They were so cute. She looked like a little princess. She came back with tales of limbos and cute heart shaped picture frames.CG said that as soon as she found some friends, he was abandoned to hang out with the other dads.She's growing up so fast... At least one new blog a day! ~Scout's Honor
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Makes a Smile in my Heart
2007-02-20 01:39:00
Now this is entertainment! There's nothing like a good Bollywood(or in this case, Kollywood) video to take the bite out of a cold, dark, rainy, dreary Seattle afternoon:Enjoy!PS Is it just me or is the male star of the video look like a George Michael Indian doppelganger? At least one new blog a day! ~Scout's Honor
More About: Hear , Heart , Smile , Mile , Make

Sugar, Honey Honey
2007-02-20 01:09:00
Check out this sweet little video: At least one new blog a day! ~Scout's Honor
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Purr...
2007-02-19 23:34:00
Okay, once again, we must revisit the subject of Dr. Rey as Mormon. I spoke to one of my sisters who is still a practicing Mormon and she said the LDS church has come out against plastic surgery for vanity. Hmmm.... So that doesn't look to good.Then there's this video:For those of you who don't know, practicing Mormons wear special underwear called "garments." Think silky white t-shirts and shorts somewhat like biker shorts. There are religious reasons for these garments and they have symbols sewn into the garments. Furthermore, they serve a dual purpose to maintain modesty. I often use these garment lines to suss out Mormons. My husband also looks for the archetypal Utah missionary haircut. That method is not as reliable. But the garments, that's a sure thing. They even make special camouflaged garments for Mormons in the Army.So, back to the video, there is NO way he's wearing garments therefore, he must be inactive in the Mormon faith. Just my theory. Well that and assplants...
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The Game of Life
2007-02-19 22:08:00
So I mentioned that we held a birthday party for my eldest this weekend. Very belated. So six-month late belated, he received cards for eleven year olds because everyone thought he was turning eleven. Oops! So my little CG Replicant received the game Life from his girlfriend. I use the word girlfriend loosely. They have both admitted to liking the other, and yet, unlike other 5th grade crushes, they still talk to each other. This is a new phenomenon for me. I am a little taken aback at their maturity. So the girlfriend bought him the Sponge Bob version of Life. Her mother took me aside to give me a gift receipt since she was sure a 5th grade boy probably wouldn't want it. Well, the girlfriend had it right. My eldest loved it. Yet, I'm not sure who was happier with the game--my son or my husband. You see, my husband CG, has a bizarre, embarassing passion for Sponge Bob, which drives me crazy. He beams with pride if I can actual mention any knowledge about characters of the show.So ...
More About: Game , The Game , The G

Wesssssst Viginia
2007-02-19 21:44:00
So busy ignoring this blog that I didn't even notice I picked up a reader from West Virginia.Yep, ladies and gents, only nine more states to go:Alaska, Hawaii, Montana, New Hampshire, New Mexico, North Dakota,Rhode Island, South Dakota, and Wyoming In honor of breaking 41 states, here are some facts to highlight West Virginia: West Virginia State and/or County LawsNo children may attend school with their breath smelling of "wild onions." It is illegal to snooze on a train.Doctors and dentists may not place a woman under anesthesia unless a third person is present. According to the state constitution, it is unlawful for anyone to own a red or a black flag.If you wear a hat inside a theater, you may be fined. Roadkill may be taken home for supper. Whistling underwater is prohibited. One may not walk a lion, tiger or leopard, even on a leash.No member of the clergy is allowed to tell jokes or humorous stories from the pulpit during a church service.Firemen may not whistle or flirt at ...