United States of Motherhood

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Articles: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Literate...Maybe
2007-02-19 20:57:00
I am a collector of books that I never have time to read. I probably have thirty to forty hard bound books stacked through out the house, ready for that self-indulgent spare couple of hours to read. I voraciously snatch up books at library book sales, knowing their $2 a hardback is more frugal than the late fines for books I could borrow which I never read. So, the books stack up. Yes, I've been kidding myself. So, with all the craziness of my life for the past few weeks, I find myself triumphant. I found the time to read a WHOLE book. Truly, it wasn't heavy reading. Just a piece of fluff that actually resonated with my college-educated, stay-at-home pity party. It was Danielle Crittenden's amanda bright@ home. And, yet, I find my chest puffed up with pride that I made the time, at red lights and while waiting patiently in the pre-school pick up queue, to actually read words written on actual paper. The last real book I read I am ashamed to say was 84 Charing Cross Road by Helen ...
More About: Maybe , Lite , Liter , Tera , Rate

Why I Should Vote for My Husband?
2007-02-19 20:51:00
My husband says he gets teased a lot from his liberal Bay Area co-workers for being red. Little do they know! I find out this weekend that he thought Obama was a Republican! 'Nuff said. I'll be marking his ballot book from now on. What will be his response you all ask? He'll probably say, "What else is new?" He has used my ballot book in the past as a cheat sheet. Yes, my political minions, I WILL rule the world one husband at a time. Yep, just like Hillary... At least one new blog a day! ~Scout's Honor
More About: Band , Usb , Vote , Should , Husband

Twenty-One Day Self-Exile
2007-02-19 20:39:00
So, it's been 3 weeks since I even looked at my blog. In that time, 180 people came a-visiting. Why? Don't know because I wasn't even visiting my blog, and I certainly wasn't doing any blogging. So what happens in the meantime? Hillary Clinton INVADED my blog. What the Fuck! There are Google Ads plastered everywhere to buy "I (heart) Hillary" buttons, bumper stickers, etc. Gak! Do me a favor? Don't click on these sites. Don't look! They'll make your eyes burn. Maybe if we pretend she isn't here, she'll go away? I feel evil in our presence... At least one new blog a day! ~Scout's Honor
More About: Self , Twenty , Exile , Went

Fine!
2007-02-19 17:25:00
Okay, someone finally snapped me out of my zombie state. Thank you Anonymous Commentator! The comment was, "Gee, where'd you go? Lean too far to the right and fall over?" Yes, you --and specifically not my husband--gave me my first smile of the morning. Life's been hectic here and I made a conscious decision to concentrate more on my kids and life and less on blogging. It can be addicting you know. I think what really put it over the edge was the fact that I am playing single mom for something like 5 1/2 weeks. My God, it feels like we are in the Army again! Yep, bastard husband abandoned me for his stinking job. Okay, given that job does pay the mortgage, but fuck-almighty-Monday through Friday from late January through the first week of March seems a bit excessive. Yes, he does come home for week-ends, but that doesn't help me on the mid-week days when I have lost my sanity screaming at my kids to behave, with no one to back me up. I actually lost my voice screaming in my SUV a...
More About: Fine

Shits and Giggles Part II
2007-01-31 01:10:00
So it's been a while since I've revelled in what auspicious searches bring new visitors to my blog. So I did a bit of research at Google Analytics and found some great, thoughtful, mature searches such as:stinky seamenunhooking braferal shiz usdivorce crazy lyingsweaty goat balls Whack-A-Mole Baby Float. (why the period? Yo no se!)breast a sexualizedmy chemical romance parental concerns (puh-lease!)tongue tumormedical females bleeding outmasturbating while breastfeeding (You are one sick mother-fucker! Get help! Still got the shivers on that one!)I'm just saying, some of you new visitors, well, you just craze-e-e-e. Sick! Sick! Sick! Thanks for the entertainment!And...drum rolls please...my number one consistent tag that brings daily visitors is DR. Rey and Mormon. Yep, everyone else seems as incredulous as I!!! At least one new blog a day! ~Scout's Honor
More About: Shit , Part , Hits

Eye for an Eye
2007-01-29 05:52:00
A.N.G.R.Y. So angry I could scream. Why are there people out there who treat animals like they are nothing, but trash? What the fuck is wrong with them? Locally, seven 6-8 week old puppies were found in a trash bin. Two unfortunately did not make it. Temperatures dipped below freezing and no one knew how long they had been in a garbage can in this rural area. How could a person do that to puppies as gorgeous and helpless as these: ERIKA SCHULTZ / THE SEATTLE TIMES Then there was this other story I came across is about this gorgeous Bull Mastiff who was BURIED ALIVE. Luckily, a neighbor heard him and found him with just barely a hole to breath. Who knows how long he was down there! Evil! To dig a hole deep enough for a 125 lb. Bull-Mastiff is premeditated, cruel, and criminal.What I don't understand is that if these dogs were unwanted, at least give them a chance. Put the puppies in a box in front of the grocery store or fire station where they'll be found. This also goes for youn...

Olympics Here We Come
2007-01-28 16:23:00
We are off to a swim meet today. This one is sooo cute because it's just for PB. Basically, she still falls on the low side at 7 years old--the maximum is 9 years old. I am excited to see how she does. At our last meet, she spanked some TEN year olds in the 100 Free and 100 Back--and even got those pesky flip turns down even though we missed warm ups, so she didn't have her count. Actually, there were two events she swam last year that this last meet was the first time she swam them again. She improved--no joke--FIFTY-SEVEN seconds on one and TWENTY-SEVEN seconds on the other. Wow! That's the way to track a year's progress! So glad we moved from our Issaquah Swim Team to King Aquatics. The difference is amazing. The best though is her attitude. She loves swimming and rarely complains about practice (unlike my 10 year old who likes to compete, but hates practice). So last night, I remind her we have a "just her" meet. She rubs her hands together and says goodie-goodie. Suddenly, ...
More About: Olympics , Olympic , Come , Here

Tween Tang
2007-01-28 03:57:00
My ten year old smelled today the way that only pre-teens can.Bleh! He took a shower last night before bed for what seemed like hours. Given that yes, he had a busy day, he still smelled to the point that I questioned the pungency. No way could he have worked up that haze in one day at Home Depot, could he? I question whether he did take that shower and ask him.He says, "Yes!"My next question though blew his flimsy excuse of a shower out of the water, "Did you use soap?"His response, "Errr....no?"Oh God, I know what's coming next. It's the odor of boy permeating his room, his shoes, his clothes...I can still remember how my brother's room smelled. Help! At least one new blog a day! ~Scout's Honor
More About: Tang , Ween

Old Silly Putty: You Be The Judge
2007-01-28 03:28:00
I'm not saying plastic surgery is wrong--just don't lie about it!! You be the judge: The pics in her blue suit are the most recent. Hmmm...not even Botox is that good! At least one new blog a day! ~Scout's Honor
More About: Judge , Illy , Silly , Putty

Separated at Birth ?!?
2007-01-27 17:48:00
So let's chat about hotness is presidential candidates, shall we? Got your dry double cappuccino handy? The idea of Obama's hottness actually translating into dumb voters voting for him based on his looks bothers me a tad. Given he does have a tight body and high cheek bones, but are those very same high cheek bones going to lead this Iraqi snarl to peace, eh? (Sorry for the eh? I've been hanging out with too many Canadians) I agree with Green Republican that I never would have seen Obama as hot because, well, he is a Democrat (hiss). Yet now, because of Mark, I see the light. He could be a young Harry Belafonte's doppelganger with hints of Denzell and a splash of Sydney Poitier. Really these cuties could have been separated at birth.Okay, you got me. I could only make this pic of Harry 'the commy' Belafonte palatable because there's a hot pic of Charleton Heston with him. Now, he was hot. ( Rawr, go NRA.) Anyway, in the pre-Venezuela Harry's honor, here's a favorite video....
More About: Para , Birth , Rate , Separated

Dee-lish!
2007-01-25 23:22:00
Came upon this sweet pic of Aw-Nold at the Jelly Belly Factory in Northern California that we visited this summer. Not as hunk-a-licious as good old Ronny Reagan (who I named my first daughter after), but still pretty deee-lish! At least one new blog a day! ~Scout's Honor

One-up-manship
2007-01-25 23:10:00
In a silly contest between my son and I to communicate who was sillier:Me: "You're silly."Lil Man:"No, you're silly!"Me: "You're silly-califraglaisticexpeealodosious"Li'l Man: "You're googolplex percent silly."Um, wow! How did my just turned 5 year old learn about googolplexes? Young'uns, in my day (which was the "olden" days according to my 7 year old), it was "infinity" and "infinity plus infinity." Now, we are getting pretty darn specific how silly I am. What's worse was that I couldn't think of a come-back. At least one new blog a day! ~Scout's Honor
More About: Ship , Mans

Don't You Wish Your President Was Hot Like Ours! Prezzy Cat Dolls
2007-01-25 22:47:00
Okay, a small concession to you non-Republican readers, yep, Obama is HOTTTT. Here, just for your viewing pleasure (and apparently Mark's), are some nice pics to chew on: I have to admit, having a cute, "smokin" prezzy would be a change over old, slaggy butt-cheeked, pasty presidents. It would be a definitely better choice than that old coot Hag-illary, but I think I'll vote for the gray pudding between the ears rather than any other pudding. Ewww! I guess the proof is in the pudding. (Bum Dum Dump) At least one new blog a day! ~Scout's Honor
More About: President , Cat , Your , Prez , Wish

My Blog, Like My Plates, Needs Some Updating
2007-01-14 21:07:00
One very superficial way I'm opening up my palate is that I'm thinking of changing the template on my blog. The black is feeling tired, strains the eyes, and frankly, I want to branch out and make it my own. Anyone out there have some suggestions for color (nothing too busy or patterned, puh-lease!) or either places for blog design (preferably free, or cheap) or do-it-yourself instructional websites? Hopefully, we'll get some new freshness in this blog to celebrate my 2 month blog-a-versary on Tuesday! Speaking of blog-a-versary, so far I've had over 1000 visits and 3000 page views. I'm still childishly working on those 50 states. I've hit 38 states and the District of Columbia. (And next I'll dominate the world with my fantastic international visitors) I'm still looking for: Alaska, Hawaii, Kansas, Montana, New Hampshire, New Mexico, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, South Dakota, West Virginia, and Wyoming. Surely, there must be someone in those states that want to rea...
More About: Dating , Blog , Plat , Need , Late