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My Worst Nightmare
2008-04-29 16:00:00
I found this on Leighann's blog. And my reaction: Oh, fuck. fuck. fuckity-fuck. Did I mention I was deathly afraid of heights? I actually screamed twice and chanted, "oh my God," dozens of times. My husband just checked in to see if I was okay. My friends, that is my very worst nightmare. Ever. Hands down. I would rather be covered in cockroaches and chewed on by rats that ever go near a place like that. I would rather a Democrat be president. Am I using strong enough words? My stomach was flipping like a roller coaster. I've been in movies with heights i.e. "Cliffhanger" and actually melted out of my seat and on to the floor. Learn more about Caminito del Rey here. At least one new blog a day! ~Scout's Honor
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You're Fat, Not "Not Phat," Get it?
2008-04-29 05:00:00
At a swim meet this weekend, my friend's husband took his three year old to purchase a drink.In line, the three year old yelled that the man in front of them was "FA-A-A-A-A-T! "The husband was horrified. What was worse was the big man got offended and turned around all mean-like and said in a challenging voice to the father:"Did HE just call me fat?!"The Dad covered quickly."No, no. He called you bad. He calls everyone bad." Mollified, the big man smiled.Of course, because in this country, it's better to be evil than fat.Kids can be so brutally honest was my immediate thought. My daughter once said loudly in a Macy's dressing room that my belly was like a bowlful of jelly."It jiggles."Yes, we had been reading the "Night Before Christmas" and yes, she had also identified several white bearded, ahem, large men and asked if they were "Santa Claus." And, I say defensively, it was only a month after delivering a over 10 lb. baby.Yet, damn, you know a 2 year old is not lying. They hav...
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Let's Go on a Little Outing, Shall We?
2008-04-28 18:46:00
I never advertise my blog to anyone I know.My husband however, uses our real names and puts his blog in his email signature line.And guess what, I'm on his very short blog roll.So, I've been outed a few times by friends.They usually come up finally and say I found your blog. After the "Oh, fuck, did I ever write about them" thoughts, I'm okay with it. My sister found my blog the same way.It does however stifle our conversations because I'm always thinking: I blogged about this or that, so they have read it, so maybe I shouldn't say it again and bore them. Or maybe they didn't read that post? Second-guessing and awkwardness at it's best.However, I live in physical, gut-wrenching fear that my religious, sometimes holier-than-thou sisters and my sometimes incomprehensibly insane parents will find my blog.Why?I only speak the truth, but sometimes it's brutal what I write about my childhood, my Dad especially and my self-esteem issues, and their Mormon faith.It makes me absolutel...
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Sisterhood: Comments Speak Volumes
2008-04-28 17:16:00
Moosh in Indy wrote a poignant photo-essay style post about sisters. It made me sniffle a bit my sisters are not close by, but more than that it made me tear up for PB. I've posted my comment:I grew up in a family of five girls and one boy. While my brother and I tolerated each other, I loved my sisters.They protected me. They did my hair way better than my mom. We went to movies. We shared secrets. We gossiped.Today, we still do a lot of those things even though we are states apart.So, what's the problem? My princess has two brothers-no sisters. She will never know that bond of sisterhood. It's likely she will have closer girlfriends because she won't have her sisters backing her. Still, no sisters.It makes me so sad. There are days where in la-la land, I've shopped on-line adoption pages looking for a sister. I've had dreams where she is from India or Pakistan. Where I can be a hero to both girls.Then I think, who am I kidding. My husband wanted two children. I got lucky his...
More About: Comments , Speak , Volumes

Ah, Long Course Season
2008-04-27 17:13:00
Yes, my friends, long course season swimming for my two older swimmers has begun. Of course, it was 70 degrees yesterday and gloriously sunny as I sat inside a humid inside pool. Such is the life of a swim mom, eh? The countdown has started for when we will begin our recreational, "outdoor" swim team. Three weeks, my friends. Then as luck would have it, it will rain during everyone of those outside swim meets or be so blistering hot that I will covet the humid indoor pools. Again, such is the life of a swim mom. We had a new development this meet. I sat in the stands and BOTH of my kids sat on deck and got themselves entirely to their events. They came up occasionally for help with a cap or to say "Hi!," but, in general, they were self-sufficient. I left CG and Li'l Man home so I was alone--unencumbered--except for swim friends. They checked in with coaches without reminders. They didn't miss an event. They stayed hydrated and remembered to nibble on snacks. I spent my time chatti...
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A Quiet Beauty
2008-04-27 07:49:00
If you look really closely, you can see the woman in her emerging. Wasn't it just yesterday that she looked like this: My baby girl is growing so quickly. 3rd Grade today. College tomorrow. At least one new blog a day! ~Scout's Honor
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Now That's Extreme!
2008-04-26 12:30:00
PB was working on a project that required interviewing a grandparent.She chose my mother.My mother had some difficulty understanding the questions. She also had some humdingers of answers. Question: "Grandma, what did you do for fun as a child?" Her answer: "Pick apricots." Whooo-ey. Burn down the barn, we're going to have us some fun picking froots. Did I mention she grew up on a farm? I would think milking cows or her favorite memory of licking the milk bucket in the winter and getting stuck would apply as well. Next question: "How far did you walk to school?" Snort! You know what's coming, right? Her answer: "Three miles. Each way." I am sure it was uphill both ways and in the snow. Actually being a rural community, it might be true, but I swear she mentioned a school bus to me once. Next question: "What was the weather like Grandma?" Her Answer: "Cold." I now feel for the Oprah's of the world interviewing celebrities. I think these questions were meant to open up a dialogue ...
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Sadly, Not So Gassy Anymore...
2008-04-25 17:30:00
Have you heard about gas prices?! I am trying to use my hysterical inside voice here.I fell asleep on the couch last night with the TV on and awoke to the Today show. They had an expert predict that we would be at $4 this summer AND $5 a gallon by next summerFlickr Photo by cobalt123 For gas. You know. Dead dinosaurs. I know you thought that price was for well aged wine. Or blood. Or gold juice. Nope, we are talking about that funny smelling substance (which I secretly love to sniff) which makes the car go vroom, vroom.Crapsticks!Have I mentioned I drive a very large Ford SUV? That I average 13.9 miles to the gallon which is mostly highway driving?Slippery Shitzu!That tax windfall I mentioned on the last post? Nodding my head. Yep, we all know where that's going.Just doing some rudimentary math (Do you smell the smoke coming from my ears and see my crossed eyes?), it takes me 4.5 gallons of gas when I take the kids daily to swim practice and go home in between.That's approx. ...

Yeah! Taxes!
2008-04-25 12:30:00
We just finished our taxes! Yeah ! What's that you say?No, not the 2007 ones.Yep, the 2006 filing.Yep, pathetic.Good News: We are getting a $5500 return.Bad News: We have had a credit card balance that entire time. So at an average 10 percent APR and if we had done our taxes diligently and put the rebate towards our credit card balance, we would be $750 less in debt.2nd Bad News: We bought super Turbo Tax so we could file electronically and they would aud-ja-matically put it into our account quicker. Sigh. When you procrastinate like us, you have to go old-school and send it in the...gasp...mail?I mean, who uses the postal service anymore? M'kay, agreed. We suck.We are college-educated lame-sticks that should know better not to overpay the man that much in the first place, much less let him keep it for over 2-1/2 years without paying us interest.Okay, gotcha. Agreed. Numb skulls extraordinaire.Now, about those 2007 taxes. Emmm...Errrr... CG? He's estimated they owe us at...
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No Cream in MY Kids' Oatmeal, Nope!
2008-04-24 12:30:00
CG asked me if I had every put whipped cream on our children's oatmeal. He saw a commercial with whipped cream on the TV."Ummm, no...."Well, I didn't say no at first. First, I had to clarify the difference between whippED cream and whippING cream.You see, as bad mothers through out the universe are wont to do, I run out of milk more than occasionally. So I let the kids use my coffee's half 'n half. Or occasionally the whipping cream if we bought some for a particular recipe.So, it's a fact that my kids like buckets of milk on their cereal.Seriously.At least a cup.Sooooo, when they use the whipping cream, that would be over 1 cup of heavy whipping cream which makes probably three cups of whippED cream stuff of which CG mentioned.So, no, I answered honestly, I don't squirt a tablespoon or two of the puffy, pre-whipped cream on their cereal or oatmeal. Nope, that would be ridiculous, right?Nope, I just give them the equivalent of hundreds of tablespoons of the stuff. You do the m...
More About: Kids , Cream , Oatmeal

Electronic Hoo-Haaas, Real Girlz, & Men's Magazines
2008-04-23 19:30:00
Dana recently caught her husband red-handed with a receipt for a vibrator. I asked my husband what a man would do with such a vibrator.He had some theories, but then he went off on a tangent about electronic hoo-haas.I mean in real detail.Like they are rubber tubes.Like some feel like mouths.Some feel like hoo-haas and others feel like, ahem, other orifices.Like he's done research...Hmmm...Can you sense my eyebrows were raised?He saw those eyebrows and defensively said he'd only read about them in Wired magazine. Uh-huh! Right-o!He said that last time when we went to see "Lars and the Real Girl." He knew ALOT about those REAL girls. Seems he'd visited the website.Seems he read it in a magazine first...Seems it was probably Wired...Funny that! I couldn't find any electronic vaginas when I searched Wired?Giving him the benefit of the doubt, I still say hmmmph! Wired seems to be more about electronics than software nowadays, eh?Dangerous, girls! Dangerous!Shaking my head. At l...
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The Sun Sparkled, The Birds Tweeted...
2008-04-23 12:30:00
There I was driving along the main boulevard of our neighborhood. The sweeping vistas of the snow capped Cascades left me breathless as they do every time I drive out of our neighborhood.The rhododendrons were blooming. The cherry trees blossomed. The grass was freshly clipped.Couples were walking, hand in hand, enjoying the spring air.Then my gaze caught one couple... Scchreeech!Oh my fucking Gobstoppers! Gaaach! I dry heave. A glutton for punishment, I slowed down. I craned my neck in classic rubberneck fashion. No way!There was a affluent, Burberry dressed, young Asian couple, she in heels, each hunched over on either side of their white short-haired Beagle, fastidiously wiping his puckered anus. The same puckered anus which faced the road and was imprinted on my bewildered mind.What the living hell?It seemed as if every spec of feces was being removed with their hands in their black, neighborhood supplied poo sacks. They wiped, then both heads leaned in closely to examine t...
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My White Boy's Got Him Some Rhythm
2008-04-23 05:36:00
CG videotaped Li'l Man a couple of days ago on his digital camera. It's a bit grainy, but still, I was shocked.Li'l white boy can dance.Yes, he can.Check him out freestyling: Apparently, there's a series of these that CG has videotaped. Li'l Man's got some moves.I can honestly say he doesn't get this from any of us. CG's got the typical tight arms close to the chest jerks of a man dance and I was the morose, black clad Goth spinning around and around like Robert Smith of the Cure in high school. The older ones? Not like this.This kid of ours?! Maybe a little too much MTV watching in utero and listening to his Daddy's music. Maybe it was the six months of dance class (mainly ballet) when he was eighteen months old because I was his Mommy and I could. I need to find some video tape of that. The only boy in a bevy of pink tutu clad girls.All I can say about this impromtu dance session is, where the hell did he learn to spin around and break dance?! And do cat eyes? Yep, my...
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Dirty Jokes Are Not For Mothers
2008-04-22 19:00:00
My eleven year old came home with a dirty joke from swim practice.So, obviously, he feels comfortable that he can tell us anything, and he decided to share his joke with us. You can read all the details on CG's blog.In short, I don't think he got it. He knew it was funny, but didn't get that the punchline:"That wasn't my belly button," and "Well, that wasn't my finger, " referred to body parts.I think he must have laughed along in the locker room--clue-less! I'm sure lots of the boys laughed along clueless because men, no matter the age, are lemmings.I found myself explaining that the finger might refer to another body part, similarly shaped.Suddenly, his face was like an open book. Realization dawned. His face was bright red. "Ohhh!"He's so naive at times. It's cute.But! We need to work on him NOT telling dirty, locker rooms to his mother, yes?It's just not right. Right? At least one new blog a day! ~Scout's Honor
More About: Jokes , Dirty , Mothers , Dirty Jokes

Food Irrationality
2008-04-22 15:00:00
Flickr Photo by Daniel Greene Remember how I mentioned I can be irrational yesterday? Pa-shah! That's nothing compared to my eating issues.I hate Americanized Indian food. Ick! Phoo-ey! Give me crap green curry and I will give you the stink eye. Serve me Tikki Masala all fatty and glue-y? There goes your tip, you stupid whore. Give me gummy, sticky Basmati rice and I will leave you a bad review and talk shit about your restaurant endlessly to CG to anyone who will listen.Luckily, the Eastside has good, authentic Indian--especially in Redmond near Microsoft. When you are the only white person in the restaurant, you know you are at the right place. However....I loves me some Americanized Chinese. Authentic? Bah! I miss my California Chinese. I love Chinese, but Seattle doesn't do it for me. They suck at Chinese food. Bleck! Sniffle. Why can't you make good chicken almond chow mien here in Seattle? You do so-so Dim Sum (I like that authentic, but can only find it in Vancouver, Cana...
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Infected Agent
2008-04-21 16:00:00
There's something you should know about me.I'm an infected human agent of the worst form of Herpes Simplex.Yes, my friends I get cold sores. Monstrous one. Ones that start in my middle of my lips and leave trailing pain down my chin.They suck.So, another fact you should know is that my feelings get easily hurt. Ask my mother-in-law I haven't talked to in four years. Yep, I'm grudgy too. And irrational at times.So, I'm feeling all grudgy, irrational, hurt, and in pain today.Why, you ask?For the last twelve years, I've taught my husband CG not to kiss me when I have cold sores. He's been resistant, but I have stubbornly clung to the fact that miraculously, he does not have this pestilence, and I don't want to be the one that gives him the gift that keeps on giving.So, after eleven years of marriage, I have a disgusting, weeping, painful cold sore today and he had the nerve to kiss me repeatedly...on the forehead.What the hell! What am I chopped liver? Am I repugnant to you? As...
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Comments Speak Volumes Pt.#4
2008-04-21 03:40:00
So, you know the schpeal:Yes, my friends. I entice you to stalk me as I make my windy comments across the country.Come meet my favorite blogs. Read what I read. Then read my reaction.Today, I will stand on the premise that comments speak volumes.Are you guys still here?Okay, in come some more comments I've made. Whew! I keep reading and commenting. Reading and commenting. People have been writing some good stuff.I think these will be the last comments of the night so I decided I should do some shoutouts to some Seattle locals:Let the Dog In on Flowering Attitude and my comment: " My husband did a Mini rally there with the kids last spring during the festival–but we can only fit four of us in a Mini–and there are five. Sigh. I stayed home...Driving around in circles in a Mini isn’t my idea of fun anyway..."I Forgot Where I Was Going With This on http://imhelendt.wordpress.com/2008/04/18 /holy/ and my comment: "Try having the kids swim in the snow the week after we took off the ...
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Comments Speak Volumes Pt. #3
2008-04-21 00:31:00
Yes, my friends. I entice you to stalk me as I make my windy comments across the country. Come meet my favorite blogs. Read what I read. Then read my reaction. Today, I will stand on the premise that comments speak volumes.Flickr Photo by massdistraction More posts that I've commented on today: Amid Life's Crises on Sunday Secret and my comment: " Someone is going to be really, really embarrassed when they get said Rocket Pocket Plus+ vibrator for their birffday...Now, if it is true he bought it for a co-worker, everyone of my paranoid, jealous hackles would be on full alert ... really, really hope it's gift wrapped on your pillow tonight..." Jason. For the Love of God on Tipping Point and my comment: " ...don't get that panic. Nope, just guilt. All encompassing guilt.I feel guilty when I don't blog and read other's blogs, so then I avoid the source of my guilt which results in making me not blog for another day and then I get more guilty and on and on...It's a very bi-polar...
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Snowing Again in Seattle
2008-04-20 22:52:00
It snowed all week-end. In April. In the Seattle Area. What the hell, batman? My tulips can't take much more. It's melted and snowed and melted in the space of six hours just today. The kids had to swim yesterday and get team pictures, all wet, in betwixt hail, slush, and freezing rain on Mercer Island. There were dumbass Seattle drivers driving 30 MPH because it was hailing--in all four lanes including the carpool lane. Ridiculous! Arrrggh. And the little demon children are working my last nerve. Snow days on a week-end when there is homework to get done and swim practice is not, I repeat, is not good. So, I laughed with and commiserated at Carrie's post. She is also is the snow-y Seattle area. She blames it on the testosterone. In the spirit of Comments Speak Volumes, my comment to her: "I don't think this bickering is just reserved for the malesex. In our little unit of joyous (cough, cough) harmonythat I call our family, it's the two closest in age--mainly my 8-1/2 year o...

Nutcracking, Guns, Religion, Chocolate Covered Beef Burritos, & Of Cour
2008-04-20 21:48:00
Avitable has a cool contest for one of these:Cool, eh? I know you want one. Actually, as Democratic nominees go, I'm warming on her. I've said in the past that, "I would rather cut off my pinkies with dull kitchen shears and eat raw chicken than vote for her. "Now with Obama's bullshit comment on guns and religion, I think he's too much of an asshole to ever hold office. I left a comment on the Seattle PI's Strange Bedfellows Blog that sums it all up: "ohhhh, whatever. Did you see the nasty comments at theDemocratic debate the other night? McCain doesn't need to sink in their mud.They are so busy slinging mud, innuendo, and lies at each other, they areletting the election slip through their grasp. I used to respect Obama, but his guns and religion comment waselitest and showed a complete lack of sensitivity, reason, and judgment. Yes,they all are elitest, but he has the poor judgment to make that drivel come outof his mouth in public. Furthermore, he was right that Hillary als...
More About: Religion , Guns , Chocolate , Beef , Covered

Comments Speak Volumes Pt. #2
2008-04-20 21:05:00
More comments, peeps. I'm a prolific little commenter, I am, I am. Chicken and Cheese on Is It Time Yet? and my comment: "...You know how it is. Each child gets less and less attention. Sadly. Ah my mother guilt...Nope, just looks of dissappointment and incomprehension and betrayal that break your heart. " Miss Britt on Why I Hate My Children and my comment: "...as soon as it looks as if I might live, they bring their disgruntlments, bickering, and whines full force on me. A weeks worth of problems needing to be resolved right there...just made me moan, want to slit my wrists, and hope for an illness so bad they wouldn’t dare bring me their squabbles about who drank my chocolate milk or who went into who’s room or who called dibs on that exact spot on the couch..." Woman with Kids on I'm a Quiter and my comment: " Hey, me too. I'm such a quitter...I think I made more money when I sold Pampered Chef. Now that my friend is saying something.Now, my kids went around our street...
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Comments Speak Volumes
2008-04-20 20:33:00
Okay, so I have a list of things to blog. And I have a gazillion of my favorite blogs to comment on. So what does one do? Today, I will stand on the premise that comments speak volumes. so follow me throughout the day as I comment and see where I visit. Already today, I've commented on: Böh-logging on They didn't mention snow and my comment: "You know any other coach, but one who attended the Northern Warfare course and lived in Alaska and Colorado..." Jason. For The Love of God... on Light the corners of my mind... and my comment:" ...Yep, I wish I started my blog in 1996, but I was too busy graduating college, having a baby, moving across the country, loosing all my weight and passing a Physical fitness test for the army, and planning and executing a wedding--all in a 2 month time period." My Mommy's Place on Just Some Advice and my comment: "...Li’l Man was big too at 10 lbs. 1 ounce (no epidural thank you very much asshole anthesiologist prick) and had blond ha...
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Holly Hobby Much?
2008-04-18 18:47:00
Does anyone else see PB's striking resemblance to Holly Hobby :PB's third grade curriculum includes simulating a pioneer school house including dressing up in authentic pioneer garb. We were given the option of purchasing a bonnet from a teacher's Mom who makes them as a hobby.Bah! I said two months ago.In the spirit up Mommy one-upmomship and visions of bonding while stitching with my daughter, I planned an ambitious project. Nope, church dresses and bonnets wouldn't cut it.I purchased the pattern and the fabric for a pioneer dress and two different pinafores and bonnets. I held back buying fabric for a second dress.Then that fabric sat and sat.PB begged to get it started, but I procrastinated through out all spring break knowing it was needed the Monday after spring break.So guess who was up until 3:45 AM that Monday morning sewing?Yep, I started the actual sewing on Sunday afternoon. PB got to do some cutting and some sewing, but I soon realized the pattern was not the usual e...

Dot Com Snob-bloganista
2008-04-15 23:27:00
Exciting news, my friends. Let me do a jiggy dance. Bop. Bop. Bop. Taaa-Dum......Little ol' me has her own domain. Now, instead of typing http://unitedstatesofmotherhood.BLOGSPOT. com ...You only need type http://unitedstatesofmotherhood.com . Wow, huh? Exciting news. Aren't you pumped? EIGHT, count 'em, EIGHT key strokes saved!!!Other than saving you eight keystrokes, I'm not sure what this means.I do know CG (aka my computer geek husband) thinks it rocks.Shrug.So, it seems that Blogger sells domain names and transfers your blog to the new url seamlessly. They will continue to send people from the old url to the new url. They still host for free. And all for the bargain price of $10 per annum.So, other than it seems cool to be simply a dot com, what other benefits are there? Errr... I dunno. I guess I get some gadgets and tools. I get another email account. Emmm... It sounds cool?Now, I just need to revamp my site design. It's so blah. It shouts blogspot, and now I...
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Wii Immunity
2008-04-13 21:30:00
Okay, I lied a little, bitty bit. I'm not entirely immune to Wii. Actually I'm not entirely immune to Guitar Hero on Wii.No,no,no. I don't play it. It does however grate on my subconscious.For instance, I was watching American Idol with the kids the other day. Suddenly, a song comes on that I recognize:"Hey," I say. "That's that Guitar Hero song."Yep, that was the first thing that came to mind.Not that it's Heart.Not that whoa Nelly, those Heart chicks look way different.Not that that's Fergie with 'em.Nope, Guitar Hero.Okay, my second thought was whoa that Fergie is very bend-y and acrobatic. I knew for once CG would be willing to watch a segment of American Idol. Usually he abhors it.Yep, I was right. He was really into her bend-y moves.No big surprise there, eh? At least one new blog a day! ~Scout's Honor
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I Can't Believe Grown Woman Do This?
2008-03-08 00:48:00
You know how one kid comes wailing to you with finger pointed at the other? You know they're both wrong. One for pushing the other's buttons and one for way over-reacting and being a drama queen claiming mortal wounds? Yep, that about sums up PB and Eldest's relationship of late. So imagine my surprise when I found the same scenario on videotape. EXCEPT! At a city council meeting. Please check it out. It's one of the few videos that's made me laugh out loud in a while: Yes, the blond was swatted, but her chimpanzee wailing and I'm falling and can't get up routine takes the whole enchilada. Good Mary Jehosophat! I want to send them both to the corner. Grown adult women. And honestly, did you hear the mayor call for the swatter's arrest? Seize that woman for "assault?" What a waste of taxpayers' money. Ridiculous! What he should have said was, "Don't make me separate you two!" At least one new blog a day! ~Scout's Honor
More About: Woman

You Know You Want Some
2008-03-07 18:56:00
Ah, it's breakfast of champions time here in Seattle. Can I just say there is nothing better than a little fried up ball of pork in congealed, gelantinous red soury-sweet goo? Do you see that ball-shaped void? Yep, I plopped that one in my mouth already. I especially like licking the goo of those balls. Mmmmmm... Yep, it's what's for breakfast: Whooo-weee, my friends. There's nothing finer that biting into a cold bite of piggy, except for my friend Mr. General Tsao. Ohhh...that General. Mmmm. Ohhhhhh. Oh, baby. I just want to lick him all over. He's so spicy. So hard. So lickable. Ah, cold Chinese food rocks especially when you eat it straight from the fridge, in styrofoam, with your fingers. Can you believe I used to be a meat-is-murder Berkeley vegetarian? Yeah, me neither. Ok, so those of you that know me in life shaking your heads, stop being such prudes. I see you Laura, Erin, Debbie, Molly, Andrea, Teri, Lisa, and yes, you my bruddha Kelly. (Are we getting Romper Room Ma...

Hatred in My Heart
2008-03-06 15:36:00
I felt hatred deep in my heart yesterday. Suprisingly, I felt this tremoring hatred toward a soldier in Iraq, someone I usually revere in this blog. Even more suprising was that I felt the need to pummel his head until he was dead. I felt violent. If I were a lawless type, I would hope his fellow soldiers frag his sorry, pathetic ass. You see he's a local boy and he's a monster. I felt my hands clench as I watched the video. Have you seen the video? I've put it below, but watch at your own emotional risk. It's grainy. It needs some explanation. The jist is this Marine took a poor, defenseless, innocent puppy and hurled it a good 3o feet over a cliff. This beautiful black and white pup yelped all the way down. The Marine had the forethought to videotape this and it might have ended up on a Myspace page. His mother must be so proud. You could tell he was from the smile. That smile made me want to vomit, cry, and curl in a protective fetal ball around my pups. Have...
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DO Sweat The Small Stuff
2008-03-04 18:48:00
Sometimes as a parent, I forget it is the little things that do matter.Yes, holidays, birthdays, vacations, and sports events get immortalized on videotape, but not the stuff that matters just as much. The simple stuff we often forget the moment it’s done. The inside jokes, the family mannerisms, the re-telling of family lore both comedic and tragic, definitely embellished over the years, and, yes, even the every day ins-and-outs. In short, the small stuff.Yes, please do take some time and sweat the small stuff. This is the fabric of their childhood. The stiching and the thread. The muted colors in the background that make the colorful splashes of graduations, first lost tooths, and first races won, even stronger.It’s the day-to-day interactions with my children that count and that I hope will build the love and respect that will get us through those looming teenage years of tumult:Taking the time to dig for worms, finding those magical caterpillars and letting them plant the tu...
More About: Stuff , Small

Am I Worth New Skiing Pants?
2008-02-28 18:06:00
Remember I said last week we decided against skiing due to weather? Well, on Thursday, the weather turned, so we were able to go. Well, turned in a Seattle way, meaning it wouldn't rain, but the snow would still be pretty melty wet at 36 degrees. Add icy in the shaded parts, and you have a recipe for lots of falls on the slopes. Wet falls. Miserable falls. So, I finally gave in and decided to buy me some new ski pants. I've been literally putting off buying them for years. They are such a long term investment and I wanted to lose weight before buying some. Errr...I said that when we lived in Alaska eight years ago. Nope, that didn't really work out to well, did it? So, when we've skied during the holidays, there I was in jeans. I had some polypro underneath and only fell a couple of times. Fine in Alaska. Fine in Tahoe. Not fine here in the Northwest. This is very wet, very heavy snow. So, back to buying pants. I decided I would buy a cheap pair, so I didn'...
More About: Pants , Worth , Skiing