This Single Gal's New House

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I'm going to hell, part 94
2007-11-05 04:37:00
I went to Iowa last weekend. Blah blah this and that and corn and pigs and...scene.While I was away, my dear pal Teresa stayed at my house and took care of my roommate. She brought her roommate, a golden retriever named Willow along with her. Teresa also brought all kinds of other things -- ice cream for dogs, dog snacks, a shit shovel, bags for leaves, work gloves, her laundry. Most of which (aside from the laundry) she donated to the Single Gal is pathetic and needs to take better care of her house / dog / self fund. So generous. In addition to the booty, Teresa started raking my leaves (I know -- don't you want her to housesit for you?) AND -- get THIS -- AND clipped Daisy's nails.A freakin' miracle. Usually it takes 4 people to pin her down. A freakin' miracle.Teresa is a miracle worker.She's named after a saint, don't you know. (Is that right, Teresa?)She did all of this generous giving despite her most likely grueling days at work... Never mind that she is a socia...
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This old house part 2
2007-10-31 02:23:00
This is the last evening I'm in Iowa. It's been a surreal visit on a lot of levels, but pretty good, I'd say, considering the reason I came.The next time I visit my parents they may no longer live in my childhood home. I have mixed feelings about that -- part of me jumps for joy (they might be considered hoarders), and the other makes me very sad. There are so many memories in this house, leaving them makes me feel like I'm losing something in some way.And I haven't lived here in almost 20 years.Strange, huh?My parents have asked my brothers and I to go through all of the furniture, the boxes, the riff raff that my parents are not planning to take with them, and choose things to take ourselves. It's a strange thing, bargaining with my brothers about my parents' stuff, especially when they are still alive and are there to referee. It's really bizarre.My parents are buying really nice new furniture for their new place. I say, viva! live it up, you've worked too hard an...
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Greetings from Iowa!
2007-10-28 19:09:00
This place smells like dirt.No joke.And I like it.I'm here for the weekend to visit my ailing Momma (who is doing better, thanks) and help out around the house. My parents are in the process of moving, so the house is dishelved (more so than usual), I'm still struggling with back injuries (etc.) and so I'm staying in a hotel.The whole thing is slightly weird. The hotel staying thing, that is. In some ways, it's fabulous. I'm a tourist in my hometown. I'm slightly distanced from the parent visit so I am not 100% immersed into my 12 year old self (and behaviors) and at night, I can take a break and sleep in a bed.I'm a big fan of the whole enterprise.My brothers, however, are not pleased with me. Are they ever? Especially my middle brother -- for him, I can do no right. Never. Ever. I still remember him lovingly clapping as I'm carrying all of my crap to my car (by myself, mind you) on the day I officially moved out of my parents house. He, clapping, sitting on the ...
More About: Iowa , Greeting

On being dumped...
2007-10-26 04:50:00
Dating sucks.I wonder: how many fucking times can I have the -- here's my most embarrassing moment story conversation? Maybe I need to make some shit up just to amuse myself. Who would know, right?I'd just like to jump into the third month of the relationship (when it's normal, as a friend said) and go from there. It's the before normal crap (the DATING) that is highly annoying, everything is volatile, insecurities are flying everywhere, and you can get dumped at the drop of a hat for no reason.I get dumped a lot.It happened again last night.Yep, it's true. The Single Gal was quasi unsingle for 2 and a half weeks. Now. Single. Again.Tra la tra la tra la.Insert image of an out of shape 30+ year old dancing naked around a maypole.Ok, don't.I do digress.Dating sucks. And getting dumped, and the preparation of the dumping is the worst. Whenever someone busts out the "we need to talk" line, you know what's coming. Gird your loins. Grab onto a pint of Ben and Jerry's, a...

Wind storms
2007-10-19 08:47:00
It's 11:47 p.m. I'm tired. I just ate some ice cream. I'm shivering.Did I mention I'm tired?I spent the evening at the hospital. Everything's fine -- just annoying more than anything else.On the plus side, the hospital had warmth, TV, and a nice nurse named Ruthie who told me I was the most sane person she had seen all night.That made me warm inside.I had no warmth, I had no TV. The power was out when I got home at 6, and it just came back on about 10 minutes ago. I'm so happy I can hardly control myself.The Seattle area had its first winter storm today -- mostly rain and wind. By midwest and east coast standards, these storms are not the worst things in the world. However, they make me nervous.... I'm mildly convinced that a gigantic tree is going to blow over and fall on my head.You see, I've had a bout of bad luck. Well, a life of bad luck, actually. So many bizarrely bad luckish I couldn't begin to describe them, and recounting them isn't worth my energy (why is it ...
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Do you clean your bathroom regularly?
2007-10-18 02:17:00
My mother is an admitted horrible domestic -- can't cook for crap, and finds it "difficult" to clean. You know the type: packrat, lazy, blah blah.When I was a child, my family went to church regularly. My father would peel us out of bed at 7 holy shit 30, we would climb into the backseat of my father's tan Buick Estate Wagon (oh yeah), drive the 2 miles to St. Augustin's Church, and sit together in one very small pew on the left side of the church (facing the altar) about 3/4 of the way back. We had to sit child parent child parent child because... well, we had to. And we always wanted to sit next to our mother. She wasn't as strict about all of the kneeling and praying.Every week. Kneeling and praying. Every week, I got through the hour by thinking about a boy I had a crush on.Kneeling and praying.After church, every week, we returned home to do chores. My assignment didn't vary much -- when it was nice outside, I got to wash the car(s), but most of the time, I had to c...
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IKEA makes me feel like a bad ass
2007-10-13 02:57:00
This afternoon I went to IKEA. Oh! the joy!Oh! the splendor!Whenever I visit the Swedish-based furniture store, I must eat at the restaurant and have some meatballs. I don't care if I'm hungry. The meatballs must be eaten. They are freakin' Scandinavian tasty ass tasty.I go to IKEA very infrequently -- it's a long drive from my house. So, I always buy a lot of crap there -- got to stock up, you know... For me, IKEA is like Target -- I go in with the intent to spend $10, and walk out with a $300 hole in my pocket. (I love crap for the home.)So today, I'm at IKEA. I eat my meatballs, I peruse the duvet covers. I buy a new lamp. I bring it all home. $130 this time, thanks to a gift certificate from some dear friends in Michigan.I have to put together the lamp. It's all boxed up and glass and wall mounted and potentially scary. I open the instructions. I follow the instructions. The lamp works and I figure out how to hang it on the wall without any big drama.Yet.Hell, y...
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Toilet trauma
2007-10-10 00:02:00
I got home this afternoon in the sunshine, happy to have a few hours to relax before an evening event at work. I'm exhausted and planned to spend the afternoon sitting on my couch and eating bon bons.However, as we have all learned by now, there is no rest for the Single Gal: something's wrong with my toilet.It will not stop running.I've studied its interior. I've studied its exterior.I have no fucking idea what's wrong with it.All I can say is that I'm ready to get the hammer out and start wacking things. That'll fix it, I'm sure.I turned off the water.I consulted Toilet ology 101 -- which made me want to vomit in said running toilet. And then various DIY websites. Nothing addressed my unique toilet issue -- it's clearly not a simple problem.Unfortunately, I cannot consult the mechanical know-how I absorbed while living in Iowa. I learned nothing about fixing nothing.I do, however, know that there are 4 times as many pigs as people living in the state. A fact all should kn...
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To date or not to date, that is the question...
2007-10-07 03:09:00
Dig this: I think I'm ready to start dating again.Yes, this may be shocking to some of you, especially after I swore off dating last spring. Contrary to what many thought -- I actually lived up to the swearing off... for 6 months at least.A personal record.This version of the eternal sans dating swearing off (oh yes, there have been others, just ask my friend Bruce) began after a pretty bizarre end to a relationship I had with a dude I actually really liked. After dating for about a month, he confessed (via email, mind you) that he was a cocaine addict and had realized he was gay.I had been a big help, he said.Good for me.Um.Prior to spending time with this dude -- let's call him Mr. G. Cokehead -- I went out with guys who had lived in storage facilities, were ex-gang members, thought they were the reincarnation of Judas, liked to hang out in cemetaries, made fake weapons for SCA (God!), or had never dealt with being tortured during a civil war in his native country.All true. Mos...
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That old house...
2007-10-06 01:51:00
I'm sad to report -- my mother is in the hospital today. The doctors know she has diverticulitus, but aren't sure how far it's progressed, or why she has a mass on / in her colon. She and my father are both exhausted, tired of waiting, tired of my mother being in pain. It's exhausting to be sick or to take care of the sick.I wish I could help take care of her, give her a hug and read cheesy magazines with her, but she lives in Iowa, and I, in Seattle. I wish I could do something, I wish I could help. I feel like my hands are tied by distance. Today is probably the first day since I moved out of their house in 1990 that I feel sad to be so far away.My mother's illness is making me reflect on the good times we've had together. We've definitely (and emphasize the definitely) had our struggles over the years, but we've also had some crazy adventures. I'm choosing to think about those today.One of my biggest memories was moving into what my brother and I called "the new h...
More About: House , Old House

On a furnace fiasco
2007-10-05 03:54:00
Tuesday night sucked swamp water. Or, natural gas, rather.I'm sitting in my living room, reading a magazine when the furnace stopped. Thinking the house had reached the thermostat's temperature, I thought nothing of it.That is...until it sounded like 14 airplanes were landing in my garage.Terrified (and also a little pissed), I went into the garage, hammer in hand, ready to hit something.That seems to be my all inclusive do-it-yourself technique -- hit it .Standing in front of the furnace, I watched the thing rattle and hum (and spark) during the next installation of the 14 plane salute.I dropped the hammer.I ran away.I turned off the furnace. Called my friend Teresa (who knows things -- she can paint) and she tried to calm me down. I refused.I called Beacon Heating and Pumbing. I called them because they offer a 24 hour service. I was done freaking out.From their television commercial, I have learned to stop freakin', I need to call Beacon.After I made the call, the furnace dud...
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The red teeth
2007-10-03 03:34:00
I suck at painting. There, I've admitted it. I suck at a lot of things. I don't usually admit that.For example... I generally suck at sports. Although, I'm really and truly convinced there is one sport I can do with superstar agility and grace. My elementary school gym teacher didn't call me Super K for nothin'.When I was in 8th grade, my quest for sport superstardom lead me to skiing. With absolute certainty, I convinced myself I had something in my blood that said, "skiier." No one in my family (that I knew of) had ever skiied. It was me, baby. I was SUPER K. I had inherited the ski gene.So, without thinking twice, I signed up for the 8th grade trip to Afton Alps, Minnesota. Believe me, that was the best the school could do. I was set, man. I had new gloves and my neighbor's mother had let me borrow a SWEET orange and yellow scarf. Fast forward a 9 hour bus ride (was it 9 hours? it felt like 9 hours)... getting ready to ski. I'm on the slope. I'm feelin' my na...
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shhhh, this is MY secret
2007-10-02 03:22:00
Holy schniekies, I'm exhausted.Had a full, and I do mean full, day at work. 85 meetings. 85 issues. A success! Another meeting.I was done. And I do mean done.Crawling away to go home.A colleague stopped me. She needed a ride home. Of course.So now I'm really done.REALLY DONE.Ya dig?However, the dog, left inside for 11 hours (yes, I know, I'm a horrible pet owner -- fuck you) peed somewhere, the where I could not find. So there I am in a state of exhaustion, sniffing the floor looking for pee.My nose is congested.I need one of those cool blood / pee detectors them CSI people use.Find it (the pee, that is) by stepping in it.I clean it up.I put on new socks.I look out the window. See the mound of apples.I pick them up.Daisy goes nuts and runs around in circles.Daisy is still running around. I go inside.I close the sliding glass door.She runs after me. She slams into the door. Because it is closed which she does not realize. It nearly breaks.I laugh, let her in, and give ...
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Scooby Doo and Mr. Magoo
2007-09-30 19:52:00
Dude. I miss Saturday morning cartoons. I remember sitting in front of the television drinking Carnation instant hot cocoa and wearing footed pajamas, watching Scooby Doo and Mr. Magoo in the early - mid 1970s. I loved Mr. Magoo especially. I think it might have been because I can't see for shit -- I can relate.I've been wearing glasses since I was 4.Over the summer, my lovely dog ate one of my contacts. Of course, this was a major tragedy, especially because I was trying to look cute for the rat man who was coming to check the traps in my attic. Because I can't see without corrective something, I had to put on my glasses. Them 'er some coke bottle lenses. Mortified, I hid in the house. I have had no dates with the rat man. This is a tragedy. Because of this (and other incidents), I have determined: It's important to see if you own a house. This I know.REASON 1You have to be able to see the hedge to chop it down. Random chopping = bad. You could lose a toe.REASON 2You need to...

The Judge has spoken
2007-09-29 22:22:00
Once upon a time, I lived in Arizona. Yes, it's true. I lived in a hedgeless land, where homeowners spray paint rocks to create rivers as part of their landscaping, and a registered gun owner may legally enter a bar with their metal friend in a holster. Great idea.No wonder they call it the 48th state.It feels like the 48th state.In this land they call Arizona,I was in a serious romantic relationship most of the time I was in Arizona. At times, I was even under the delusion we would get married and have a happy life amongst the cacti.That didn't happen.Fortunately.When we had broken up (I think it the 6th time?) and I was preparing to move to the midwest, a million different people wanted to give me advice on how to live the next phase of my life.An older dude everyone called The Judge lived in my Arizona apartment complex. A raging alcoholic, The Judge sat on his deck smoking cigarettes almost daily, shirtless, and talked to anyone who passed by. Rumor was The Judge got his name ...
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Riddle me this...
2007-09-28 23:57:00
Earlier this year, some folks at Clemson University published a scientific paper on the 5 second rule. They found that if you picked up food dropped on the floor within 5 seconds of the drop, you could still eat it without acquiring any additional bacteria from the floor. For more info on this important scientific finding, check out this NY Times article: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/09/dining/ 09curi.html I say: viva the 5 second rule. I wonder if it counts if you live with a dog that randomly licks the floor? The five second rule popped into my head today as I looked into my back yard and saw the piles of apples underneath my apple tree. I wondered: could I pat them and roll them into a pie? They've been on the ground, um, for awhile. Does the 5 second rule apply? Or, could it be the 5 day rule? Dare I say -- the 5 week rule?I asked myself: wwmd (what would martha do?) I started doing some research. I googled "rotten fruit" and got the usual boring articles on how horrib...
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Expect no less...
2007-09-28 01:54:00
Insert witty, hilarious, charming, poignant, relevant, and insightful post here.
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There are many uses for a tennis racket...
2007-09-27 01:35:00
This morning, after a grueling hour-long conversation with an insurance adjuster (oh the joy!), I heard some rustling coming from my guest room.Rustling? What the...Daisy began moving slowly towards the room, ready to pounce.. the sound was coming from the heating vent.Could it -- rats? another flavor of rodent?I was pissed.Furious, I tell you.I went to the hall closet grabbed my tennis racket and stomped (in the defiant don't fuck with me way) back to the guest room. Whatever it was, it was NOT getting into my house.Once I got back into the guest room, I was ready for anything. I put on some gloves and my sunglasses, just in case. Daisy was at my side. The vent was silent.In one swift move, I moved into my wack-a-mole stance (used primarily at Showbiz Pizza, thank you) and was ready to beat the shit out of whatever was going to come up.Daisy sniffed.About a minute later, rustling again. Without waiting for the appearance of the creature, I flew into a murderous rage! Smashing!...
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The topic tonight, my friends, is dinner
2007-09-26 03:20:00
I'm starving.Just got home from work.Fed the dog.Checked my mail.Opened the refrigerator.Looked in the cupboard.Got bored.And now I'm sitting here.AndI'm starving.So what, pray tell, is this single gal to do? My usual solution is to whip up (read: microwave) some crap I bought at Trader Joe's.There's only so much of that you can take.There's always take out. Take out in my 'hood blows. And, I really don't want to get in my car again right now. Whine whine whine.I love the idea of cookin' up some tasteee vittles for my dinner ce soir. You know, using fancy shit from Williams Sonoma. Imagine the glamour, imagine the intrigue...But, alas, I:1. have no idea how to use the fancy shit from Williams Sonoma.(oh, look, it's a list again)2. am tired3. am lazy4. want someone else to use the fancy shit from Williams Sonoma as I mow my lawn5. wish my dog could work so I could buy the fancy shit from Williams SonomaSo, what's the single gal to do for dinner on a weekday nigh...
More About: Friends , Dinner , Topic , Tonight , Toni

Monday, Monday
2007-09-25 04:01:00
I remember fondly an afternoon driving in the car with my father. I can't remember how old I was. I can't remember where we were going. But, I do remember that during our journey "Monday , Monday" came on the radio and we both began to sing. We sang the entire song together and then went on with life like nothing ever happened. That's one of the things I'll always remember about my papa.And... scene.The top 5 highlights of my day:TANGENTWhy do we rank things? Is it our natural brain capacity to put things in order, in sequence, so that they make sense? I betcha Jung would have issue...UNTANGENTHere they are...1. I had a massage. It was good.2. A friend gave me a copy of Martha Stewart's LIVING -- I liked it. I learned about pumpkin carving and tree pruning and what to do with polenta. I still think the best use of polenta is for sculpting. With a big ass vat of polenta, we could make sculptures of George Bush and Georgia O'Keefe and the former governor of Iowa, Terry Branstad. ...

Sick day
2007-09-24 02:43:00
When I was 9, I relished sick days. I always liked going to school (except for those middle school years -- yikes!), but there was something almost taboo about staying home on a day when you were supposed to be doing something else. When you were sick, you got to watch school day television -- soap operas, good crap on PBS, and Card Sharks. AND, the coolest part (at least before Tivo and VCRs) was you got some inside knowledge on the day's episode of "The Young and the Restless." Yeah, baby.Well, my friends, my plague has continued another day. I want to frolick in the autumn breeze, but I am coughing up a lung and the sun told me to lay down. I hate being sick, and I hate having to stay home and bathe in my sickness. But, work tomorrow I must, so I decided to stay home today and have a proper sick day. This is my mug. Shitty picture. Good mug. I've had more tea today than I've had in years.If you are sick on the weekends, it totally sucks. It's a given fact. Not only are you ...
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Invasion of the Dust Bunnies
2007-09-23 01:40:00
Gross, huh? It's allllll stretched ouuuuut. I have the plague. Some sort of nasty ass sinus infection plague. That, coupled with the fact that my family is driving me crazy and my arm is busted makes for a freakin' excellent Saturday. At least the sun is shining. What else do you need?Life is grand. (Seriously! This is the BEST time of year. Dig it!)In my snot ridden stupor, I decided today would be a good day to clean my house. Since I can't smell anything, I figure I have a lower chance to asphyxiate myself by accidentally mixing chemical vapors from cleaning products, and I need to "rest," I want to do something productive, and so...I started my Saturday cleaning frenzy by dusting. I think dusting is my favorite household chore. Am I insane? It's all because of the Swiffer duster. If you don't know what they are, check it out: http://www.swiffer.com/swiffer/en_US/home .doww.swiffer.com/swiffer/en_US/home.do This site has coupons, too. Swiffer dusters totally rock! and pick u...
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Trash day
2007-09-22 07:34:00
Daisy is a bad ass.One of the most poignant (?) memories I have of owning a house in Michigan was walking my trashcan to the curb on Trash Day Eve. I remember being filled with complete and utter joy (I nearly wept) as I walked to the curb at the same time as three of my neighbors... I felt deeply connected to my house, my trash, and the universe that night. How very zen.Speaking of ridiculous zen references...During my brief sojourn working as an intern at a HORRID theatre company (I got fired because I couldn't use a fucking crowbar) my boss, who donned a long, curly, shaggy mullet and wore peek-a-boo gold chains on his hairy, oft-exposed chest, told me I needed to find the (and I quote) "zen in stage mopping." Zen this mo fo. Ok. On to my Trash Day incident...Last night I heard my next door neighbor rolling his trash can to the curb around 9 o'clock. Sitting on my couch, I snickered -- it's the wrong day, they'll be sorry. A few minutes later, I heard more rolling -- they m...

so I'm sensitive about the hedge...
2007-09-21 04:32:00
I've had a bad day.Look at this...yes, my friends, it's the hedge...I know some of you are really hoping that I will stop writing about the hedge, stop thinking about the hedge, stop having hedge on the brain. Well, I say, I will, when it is miraculously shorn.Until then, the fucking hedge remains an eyesore, and a blot on my eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.This afternoon two things happened, both hedge related:1. I went to physical therapy. I've had a relapse in my arm healing -- the dude thinks we did too much last week. I'm frustrated, but optomistic. It'll all get sorted out, this nerve thing... it will. I just want to be done with it. Um. Right now, thank you.So, you may wonder -- why is she bitching about her arm when the hedge is the big problem here? Well, dear ones, I can't chop down the hedge because I can't move my arm.Take that.2. I saw my former boss who now lives in the same part of the city I do. She said, and I quote, "every day I drive by and...
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plums and rats and branches oh my
2007-09-19 05:21:00
On Saturday, as I was having dim sum with my lovely friends Sam and Sam, I asked them if they knew anyone who would do yard work for the cheaps and, if they knew any arborists. I gotta tree, you know, that is honkin' and leanin' and is gonna break, yo.Sam said that if anything horrible was going to happen with the tree (things like crashing branches, being impaled with a twig, etc.), it would have happened last winter when we had several ridiculous wind storms, ice storms, and general power outage mayhem. I felt comforted by his wise words and returned to bloating myself on tea and sesame seed balls (them 'er tasty).Well, I am here to report that Sam was WRONG. Got home from work and lo and behold a branch -- a honkin'ly huge BRANCH - had not only fallen off of my beautiful maple tree but it was on the fence and leaning into my neighbors' yard.These are the neighbors I have not yet met, and the only interaction I've had with them was smelling their lighter fluid as they wer...
More About: Rats , Ranch

Of fireplaces, yetis, and sleeper sofas
2007-09-17 01:50:00
It's a rainy Sunday afternoon in Seattle and all I want to do is crawl into bed and sleep until next weekend.Wouldn't that be great?Alas, I have to be an adult. I hate that...Of fireplaces...It's a very fire in the fireplace sort of afternoon. My house has a fireplace, but I need someone to check it out before I create an inferno in the middle of my home. The fireplace had a functioning gas starter component at one point, and I'm not sure if the gas has been completely disconnected.Because of my rat infestation problem, I also want to make sure there are no creatures living in the fireplace. There would be nothing worse than starting a fire and having a milliion rats run into my living room or, maybe worse? a million rats plunging to their fiery deaths.Ok, that's gross.I found out the other day that a work colleague worked as a mason for 30 years prior to his career shift. Rock on! He agreed to come over and take a look at my fireplace. I can't wait. I want to build a fire a...
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Plum Posse where arrrrrre you?
2007-09-14 01:49:00
Something is awry. There are beasts crawling around my yard.BEASTS, I tell you.Yesterday, I went outside and something freakin' bolted out of the yard. No, not a squirrel -- I am intimately connected to squirrels after Daisy killed one and ate its eyes out -- it was a BEAST. The Yeti.I'm sure of it.I caught a glimpse of it this afternoon -- in the front yard.Photos to come -- my computer is now up and running -- I can do shit again. Look out.And it wasn't the Plum Posse.Ever since school started, the Plum Posse is nowhere to be found. I sort of miss them. Perhaps their interest in plums has waned... I like to think they are studying about plums and working on a new plum theory and are plum tucker'd out (oh my God, that was hilarious!). At least that's what I'm assuming, when I think about it, and now seems to be the only time I've thought about it.My neighborhood seems very quiet lately. I'm a bit surprised because the weather has been incredible, and the rainy seas...

The Working Woman's Dilemma
2007-09-13 02:46:00
I do not know how single people can work 9 - 5 (or more), keep their house clean, keep up on the bill paying, have time to DATE, and do the laundry.I do not know.Add to that yard work, rat trapping, and dog walking...I'm too exhausted to do a damn thing this evening except type, eat bon bons and look at the pile of rat-attracting plums in my front yard. I need a plum vacuum.I drove by my house today and thought -- shit, that hedge looks terrible. When I realized that I actually live there, I was mortified and thrown into a hysterical stupor, all at once. Each day it looks more and more horrifying. I can't bear it. I want it to magically go away, but I know I have to do something about it.That's just it, folks, DOING something about it. As a single person, you have to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT all by yourself. Of course, you can ask for help, but you can rely on your friends for only so much before they avoid you like the plague, and when your family lives thousands of miles a...
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what the....
2007-09-10 03:20:00
Okay...Sigh.It's been a week since I last posted... um... I had a little mishap with the computer...Oh sure, sure, I could blame the dude who put the sucker together, the dude who just walked by, the rats, the Plum Posse, the HEDGE for taking revenge ... but, the mishap just happed -- and, oh, the aftermath. Of course, you want a play by play...The other evening, after a long day at work, I went into my home office to have a luxurious look at my photos, and lo and FREAKIN' behold, the computer started doin' the disco.And, in an attempt to fix itself, it erased my entire hard drive. That's right, friends. The whole darn thing.Five years of artistic work -- erased... dissertation, research, photographs, scripts, freakin' all of it.gone.I've been surprisingly calm about the whole thing. I'm too tired to do otherwise, I suppose; this summer has been filled with random acts of hell and I'm worn out.So, after I laughedcried (you know what I mean) I tried to look at the positive...

The Hedge Man
2007-09-02 03:31:00
This morning, as I was enjoying the newspaper and sipping my tea, the doorbell rang. It was 10 am. I was still wearing my pajamas.For a minute or two, I paced around the kitchen, trying to decide what to do. Do I ignore the bell? Hide in the refrigerator? Or be an adult and go to the door?I decided to be the adult. Shocking, I know... oh, did I want to hide!There, waving with exuberant glee (how could he at such an early hour on the weekend?), was my neighbor, the same dude who lent me the electric hedge clipper lo these two weeks ago. Yikes.Seeing him peaking in my window scared the crap out of me, and I immediately started sweating bullets -- this interaction was what I feared -- the chap who had so kindly let me borrow his hedge clipper was coming!to reclaim! his goods!, and I had barely used them.I was embarrassed, dirty, I hadn't yet brushed my teeth, and Daisy was going crazy. I was in no state to interact with humankind. Or other dog-kind. Of course, the Hedge Man ...