JankasphereJankasphereTo All Who Loves Me, I Love You Too. To All Who Hates Me, I Hate You More. To All My Subscribers, Continue Your Support, To All My Detractors, Just Commit Suicide. 
Articles
Queen Elizabeth II Useless "Facts"
2008-04-18 06:33:00 Disclaimer: These facts are still to be proven.Fast Facts :The Queen is a direct descendant of the first Dalai Lama.The Queen holds a summit every year. The summit is held for no particular reason.According to Reuters, the Queen has 10 times the lifespan of workers and lays up to 2,000 eggs a day.The Queen is supreme ruler of Milton Keynes, a job so unpleasent that no-one else would take it.The Queen is the secret Supreme Ruler of the 7 Galaxies and official President of the United Lolz Asssociation.The Queen likes all people!-(Except for Diana, Princess of Wales, and Dodi Al-Fayed!)The Queen is a cousin of Harry Potter.She is a closet lesbian.She likes in her spare time to walk in circle reciting the lines of the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe over and over again.All of her potted plants are called SteveStarred in movie "The Queen" as Helen Mirren.She auditioned for Calander GirlsShe was born with two headsShe had implantsShe recently left her lesbian loverApperently she blinks si... More About: Queen Elizabeth , Elizabeth , Useless
Block the Sun!
2008-04-18 05:26:00 It's summer (here in the Philippines), and the weather is so damn hot! People get icky yucky oily, almost up to the point that they can deep fry chicken in their forehead!I just hate the sun, when I was still a kid (cute as ever), I got these allergies or something on my arms which looks like small white dots and were so itchy! Eeew! My dermatologist told me that I got this condition called Polymorphous Light Eruption (PMLE); in english, hypersensitivity to the sun. So, after those traumatic experiences with my PMLE, I avoided the sun. That's why I hate summer!But now, during my not-a-girl-not-yet-a-woman stage, you can't blame me if I want to go to the beach wearing my tight bikini and showing off my oh so gorgeous body. So I went to the Hawaiian Tropic website and look for the perfect sunscreen that I should be wearing during my bitchy beach trips.For everyday sunscreen protection, Hawaiian Tropic Oil-Free Faces Lotion ... More About: Block
Bikini Pants: Freaky!
2008-04-17 15:36:00 From the makers of Havaianas, Gisele Bündchen, Pubic Hair Waxing; comes a not-so-conservative pair of jeans: the Bikini Pants !When I first saw this "thing", I remembered Britney concerts back in the days, then I came back to reality and realized this thingy is freaky! I wonder what it looks like on the backside... hmmm...Well, there's more to expect from the Brazilians in the coming years!P.S. Brazilians do have *hot* models... scorching!Advertise Here More About: Freaky
From now on... no more taglish!
2008-04-17 09:33:00 I swear I won't! I would make tigil na of posting taglish here in Jankasphere! Ok... I would start NOW! I've thought of this idea 'coz I've been thinking of expanding my blog internationally. Posting tagalog words would confuse foreign readers and then eventually hating my blog 'coz they can't understand a thing. I myself don't like reading Korean, Japanese, and other funny looking languages 'coz I can't understand what they're talking about!Watch out for the newest Jankasphere! Coming at 'ya live, worldwide!Advertise Here
Oshomoto: A Janka & Oshomoto Collaboration
2008-03-09 11:50:00 I've been busy these past few days because of the so many projects na nakatambak. OMG, sana matapos ko lahat. Anyway, Oshomoto contacted me last night asking me to help her publicize her blog. And so I did, mabait naman ako eh. So, here's "our" blog: More About: Collaboration
Pokemon #623
2008-02-05 15:00:00 MariMaw, I choose you!MariMaw - Marimar na BakulawSpecial Abilities:+ Super Boldstar Pose - kaya nyang akitin ang mga manyak sa kanto.+ Sayaw G.R.O. - kapag gumiling na sya na parang GRO, ang lahat ng tao magiging ngo-ngo. (except me noh!)+ Super Sigaw - kaya niyang pabagsakin ang mga buildings kapag sumigaw sya nang: MariMaw, AW! More About: Pokemon
Janka's San Miguel Beer Commerical
2008-02-05 07:16:00 i use beer...the world watches...my every move...my hair...my clothes...my look...i like black...black looks good...looking good means no dandruff...beer means no dandruff...i trust beer...dandruff never comes back..........it's gonna rain... More About: Beer , Miguel
Virus Attack!
2008-02-04 11:37:00 Argh! Grrr! I'm really super pissed off right now kasi my laptop is infested by some bloody viruses! Arrrggh! My sister kasi made hiram my laptop for her report at her school, then my gaga sister did something I do not know then **poof**, parang zoo na ang laptop ko; puno na ng crazy viruses mostly Trojans pa! Gosh! And when I arrived kanina, she said: "Ate, your laptop was acting crazy kanina, hmm.. Thanks pala for letting me borrow it.", and I was like super tulala! It took me 2 hours para linisin ang laptop ko, and I was so happy coz hindi na na-resort into reformatting the system. I have so many important files pa naman there na hindi ko pa na-transfer sa PC ko. Urgh!Sana, all those Virus programmers would have amnesia and make limot on how to make viruses! I hate you Virus Programmers! I hate you more than Marian Rivera! Argh! More About: Attack
My Schedule
2008-02-03 14:01:00 I am a super busy person, I do sobrang daming things everyday! So here's my schedule for tomorrow; pwede nyong i-try 'tong sched ko para naman ma-experience nyo ang glamorous life ko!MONDAY9:oo AM - 9:10 AM -- I wake up.9:10 AM - 9:20 AM -- I brush my teeth with Fluocaril, a dentist prescribed toothpaste to help prevent cavities and keep my mouth fresh all day!9:20 AM - 10:00 AM -- I eat breakfast. Ang menu for Monday is: 1 bowl of Cornflakes, 1 bowl of my fave cereal (Strawberry Flavour), 3 slices of Bacon, 1 fried Egg, 1/2 cup of Mashed Potato, and 2 glasses of Fresh Milk.10:00 AM - 10:45 AM -- I choose my outfit for the day with the help of my Yaya Puring. She's the one kasi who would dig in through my closet full of clothes.10:45 AM - 11:00 AM -- I start my bathing. I shampoo then condition my hair.11:00 AM - 11:25 AM -- I take care of my face. First, I exfoliate my face using St. Ives Apricot Scrub. Second, I cleanse my face using Mario Badescu's Enzyme Cleansing Gel. Thir... More About: Schedule
If I'm The President (Part 2)
2008-01-30 06:40:00 Hey guys! Here's my second take on what I would do when I would be the President of the Philippines!- I will make kuha Sabah and put it as part of the Philippines where it really belongs. Pero hindi ko isasama the terrorists who are living there. I will also slap the President of China para matauhan siya and give Spratley Islands back to the Philippines.- I will conquer Taiwan and bring it closer to the Philippines. Para naman dumami ang mga Chinito here in the country.- I will make delete the Phil. Constitution and I would declare myself Queen of the Philippines. I will be called Her Royal Majesty Janka, Queen of Philippines, Sabah, Taiwan, and Spratley Islands.- I will change the flag into my own design:- Every family will be given a mansion, but sa mga hindi nabigyan, they will be sent to Iraq and would wait for further instructions.- To help reduce traffic, nobody is allowed to use cars, or any transport vehicle. Except for me. I'm the Queen remember?!- All my detractors would... More About: Part , The President
Jankasphere Tops Google Charts!
2008-01-29 16:58:00 Top Keywords:1. Smelly Bumbay2. Marimar Zit-Face3. Kadiri Nurses4. Jologs Girl5. Funny Gay Guy More About: Google , Tops , Charts
Janka's List: Stupid TV Shows
2008-01-29 16:37:00 1. Zaido - Certified Stupid 2. Remi - Horribly Ugly3. Marimar - Chipipay Boldstarlet4. Whammy - A Gay and a Retokada Host5. Daisy Siete - A Show For Katulongs6. Wowowee - A Stereotype of Hungry Squatters7. Eat Bulaga - Boring. More About: List
Ugly Betty, The Prettiest Butt-Face!
2008-01-29 16:09:00 Almost lahat kayo knows that I'm a real fan of the US TV show called Ugly Betty ! It's really funny and it's quite heartwarming rin.. (Take note.. I have an organ called heart).Betty Suarez - Betty is really super funny and super nice. But when I look at her, naaalala ko ang classmate ko na oh so jologs and also has a bushy eyebrow! Yikes! But my classmate looks much worse! Grabe, I feel depressed when I look at her (my classmate), parang she finished her labada.. Super losyang! Good thing she stopped studying.Daniel Meade - Gosh, he's quite hot. Well, nakakaturn-off lang ang pagiging Sex Addict nya. But he's hott parin.Marc St. James - He's super funny super GAY! I don't like gays who are like always in the parlor looking so losyang and so tired being a hooker, but I love Marc.. he's so urgh!Amanda Tanen - Marc's partner in crime.. I like her bitchiness.. She's great.. I think her character is based on me.. Haha!Wilhelmina Slater - the Queen of the Bitches of Mode Magazine... More About: Face , Butt
My New Louis Vuitton Wallet!
2008-01-29 15:27:00 OMG! I'm so super happy coz dumating na my brand new Louis Vuitton wallet na inorder ko galing France! Gosh it's so posh!I ordered it about 2 weeks ago and now, it's here! Gosh3x.. I'm really ecstatic! I'm like gonna go gaga when it arrived, it felt like my first time.. first time in having a bite from a Kobe Beef Burger! Whew!To all my detractors, FYI, my Louis Vuitton Wallet is not fake noh! Baka you'll make tsismis naman to your kapitbahays there beside the riles ng tren that I own a fake LV! Eeew! Parang i'm gonna lose my apetite talaga when I make rinig people who are bragging about their LV's or other Luxury Items that are super fake sa unang tingin pa lang! Well, i'm gonna give you guys some tips in making sure that your Louis Vuitton is authentic (kahit you can't afford it.. pity!):1. If you buy your LV at a tiangge or at the streets specifically Uyanguren in Davao or Divisoria in Manila, it's FAKE! Duh, Louis Vuitton do not sell their items on some chipipay tiang...
My Research Paper: Philippines (Part 1)
2008-01-14 01:08:00 Eto ang 1st part of my research paper. I've researched this at an accurate, super respetadong online encyclopedia, even more "informational" than our lame Wikipedia. For more info 'bout the online encyclopedia, here's the link!Philippines IntroductionThe Republic of the Philippines is a nation of some 8,744 islands located in the Pacific Ocean, not far from China. The people of the Philippines, known as Filipinos, are best known for their overseas service as cafeteria personnel, mini-mart clerks, hotel maids, and transvestite prostitutes in countries around the world. The Philippines itself is a hotspot for sex tourism and pedophilia, as well as for a few AZN “al Qaeda†wannabes who have “taken over†some small villages on one of the islands. It is also the world’s largest exporter of large yellow-ish envelopes, known everywhere as “Manila envelopes.†“ More About: Research , Paper , Part
My Research Paper: Philippines (Part 2)
2008-01-14 00:59:00 Eto ang 2nd part of my research paper. I've researched this at an accurate, super respetadong online encyclopedia, even more "informational" than our lame Wikipedia. For more info 'bout the online encyclopedia, here's the link!Philippines History of the Philippines The Philippine Islands were discovered in 1592 by Spanish explorer Ferdinand Magellan, who was taking his yacht on history’s first round-the-world cruise. After dropping anchor near a scenic beach on the main island and going ashore for a look around, Magellan and his crew were surprised not to find any other humans. There were, however, great numbers of a curious and friendly ape species, which followed the explorers in their sight-seeing tour around the island. By the end of the first day, when Magellan and his men established a campsite and prepared for bed, quite a few of the female apes indicated a desire to cuddle under the covers with the men. Naturally, these advances met with a mixed reception. In four years ... More About: Research , Paper , Part
My Research Paper: Philippines (Part 3)
2008-01-14 00:57:00 Eto ang 3rd part of my research paper. I've researched this at an accurate, super respetadong online encyclopedia, even more "informational" than our lame Wikipedia. For more info 'bout the online encyclopedia, here's the link!Philippines LanguageThe language of the Philippines is called Tagalog. Linguistically, Tagalog is a blend of the ancestral ape noises, Spanish and English. The typical Tagalog conversation sounds like barnyard chickens talking, with bits of European language mixed in for flavor. It is because of this “chicken†aspect that Tagalog is also known as “Buk-buk.†Indeed, sometimes the Filipinos themselves are known as “Buk-buks†or even “Book-books." Philippine media, newspapers, television and even Philippine Wikipedia use this bizarre combination in an attempt to convey meaning. As employees, Filipinos are required to learn and use only the language of the host country, as use of the Tagalog language frequently irritates local dogs and cats, who sw... More About: Research , Paper , Part , Part 3
My Research Paper: Philippines (Part 4)
2008-01-14 00:54:00 Eto ang 4th part of my research paper. I've researched this at an accurate, super respetadong online encyclopedia, even more "informational" than our lame Wikipedia. For more info 'bout the online encyclopedia, here's the link!Philippines ReligionBecause Spain owned the place for so long, nearly all Filipinos are Catholic, but a very strange kind of Catholic. In the Philippines, Easter is the year's biggest holiday. The natives prepare all year for the Holy Week activities, of which the most important are re-enactments of the Crucifixion. Men carry huge crosses, whip themselves to a bloody pulp, and have themselves nailed to the cross. It a delightful and picturesque spectacle for the tourists, and is all in the spirit of family entertainment. More About: Research , Paper , Part
My Research Paper: Philippines (Part 5)
2008-01-14 00:48:00 Eto ang 5th part of my research paper. I've researched this at an accurate, super respetadong online encyclopedia, even more "informational" than our lame Wikipedia. For more info 'bout the online encyclopedia, here's the link!Philippines Filipino CuisineSurprisingly, most Filipino cuisine is very much as it was more than 400 years ago, before they got RAPED by the white man. 97% of the Filipino diet consists of dog which is where they got their nicknames of doggo, dogeater, mans' worst friend, and dragonfuckers. A Brown Dog is fine too!In fact it is common to see ugly AS FUCK filipino childrens chasing dogs in the streets of Manila cutting off their ballz. Another staple of the filipino diet is balut, which is basically like eating your half born brothers fetus straight from your mothers glory hole. Balut in reality is unhatched duck or chicken eggs. Filipino's enjoy eating balut every minute of everyday to sustain their life long boners. If the Chinks eat e... More About: Research , Paper , Part
My Research Paper: Philippines (Part 6)
2008-01-14 00:41:00 Eto ang 6th part of my research paper. I've researched this at an accurate, super respetadong online encyclopedia, even more "informational" than our lame Wikipedia. For more info 'bout the online encyclopedia, here's the link!Philippines Filipinos TodayFilipinos like to think that they are AZN (Asian) but in reality they are the niggers of Asia just like Ireland is the niggerland of Europe. In America faggot filipino boys have grown fond of the nigger culture and have become in a sense, second class niggers. It is also a known fact that filipinos are the ugliest race in the entire earth (yes even uglier then monkeys) and that their men and women have the smallest PENISes and MELONS in the worldz. There are established filipino communities especially on the west coast where the men rape young girls and the old women rap along with the boys. Also they have dog feasts where they steal all the neighbor hood dogs and have a cookout. the president of the internets RON PAUL says he wish... More About: Research , Paper , Part
My New Die Hard Fan: A Hoax
2008-01-05 04:29:00 Hey! I have deleted the post entitled My New Die Hard Fan because the "real" Ameli sent me a message that her friend Sheila was the one who spammed the Jankasphere's Official Friendster Page. She's so super sweet naman talaga and told me everything na nangyari. Here's Ameli's response:From: am tanyag am_tanyag@yahoo.com>To: jankasphere@yahoo.comSent: Friday, January 4, 2008 6:10:09 PMSubject: Im so sorryhey it's me ameli, the real owner of "Smelly Ameli 1 & 2" on friendster.i just want to inform you that i haven't logged in on my friendster account for the past 5 days on both profile so. Shiela, my friend of mine asked me to borrow my friendster account because she need it to "assault" her ex-boyfriend because I and her ex-boyfriend were friends so she asked me to borrow my friendster account. And so I did.What I didn't know is she will use my account to ruin my reputation. Nagulat na lang ako nung makita ko ung face ko and my codename which is "secret" dito sa jankasph... More About: Die Hard , Hoax
Ask Janka!
2008-01-04 10:25:00 Hi guys! I'm currently making gawa ng second podcast and I want you to be part of it! In the comments area below, you can ask me anything; as in kahit ano! Then, sasagutin ko your questions and it will all be kasali in my second podcast! So, comment in your questions and ask Janka!To comment in your questions, click this link! | | v
My New Die Hard Fan!
2008-01-04 07:15:00 Gosh! I had the best New Year ever! That's why hindi ko na-update my blog 'coz I really had so much fun! Come to think of it, I was invited in 14 New Year Parties! OMG! I had really a super hectic sched! Well, those are the perks of being part of the altasociodad.Well, anyway, I made visit my blog kanina when this pesky commenter aliased as Secret whose name talaga is Ameli Boncolmo Tanyag caught my attention coz she's been infesting my chatbox with katutubo messages. I'm not pissed coz that's really what the chatbox is for diba? It's there para katutubos won't vandalize the comments area for my posts. "Smelly Ameli" also vandalized the comments area of the Official Jankasphere Friendster Page with these words:ang lungkot mo naman girl fuck up!Geez, she's super desperada ha! Haha.. Pity naman her, she's making pilit talaga herself to get my attention. Well, i'm really flattered! Thanks! Here's my gift for you Smelly Ameli:They're super cute together! Look! Smelly Ameli a... More About: Hard , Die Hard
Happy 10,000th!
2007-12-26 13:00:00 Today, as in now lang talaga, Jankasphere has reached it's 10,000th peak. 10,000 people have visited Jankasphere and enjoyed it's horrific vivacity! 10,000 people had been graced with immense wisdom. It has been a super saya experience even though in the midst of negative, backstabbing, super netibo-style comments by the dukha citizens of the Philippines, I remain strong. Because I have the vision of sharing my passion in hmm.. passion in Jankasphere-ing... whatever. Thank you for your support. Long live Janka, Long live Jankasphere!I would like to thank the following for their support:1. Blogger - for hosting my super sikat blog. I hope gumanda na ang interface nyo like Wordpress.2. Google Adsense - for my adverts.3. Mozilla Firefox - for my oh so adorable browser.4. eSnips - for hosting my podcast(s).4. Windows Vista Ultimate - for being super gandang Operating System5. My Mum - for my new Havaianas flip flops.6. My Dad - for my new Nokia N95 8GB. My Christmas wish came true!Tha... More About: Happy
OMG! Big Brother House: Hijacked! Oh No!
2007-12-25 13:47:00 I am really a fan of Big Brother , hmm, not here in the Philippines ha coz the version here is so corny, fake, commercialized, baduy, artista search, walang pizazz, and has a Bobo Big Brother. Well, I would be very bastos if I would compare Pinoy Big Brother to Big Brother UK coz PBB is so chipipay compared to BBUK! Gosh!What I like about BBUK:- Their Big Brother has no feelings. Not like here na so sensitive. Gosh, as if may body! Boses lang kaya siya! PBB kasi is super eew, ikinahihiya siguro siya ng ibang Big Brothers. Sa UK, walang ka-OAhan at super Dominant, not like here na palaging nagbabago ang isip.- Their House is like a bodega. Yup! The exterior of their house is like a bodega with barbed wires surrounding the entrance. It makes you feel super like a prisoner talaga! Love it!Big Brother 7 UK: Tour of the House- Their Logos are amazing!. Every year, may bagong design ang "eye" or ang logo ng BBUK according to the house theme. Not like here na super pangit. Mas maganda pa an...
Goodbye Rodolfo
2007-12-08 15:49:00 Let us pray for Rodolfo's soul. I am still in shock. Hindi ko pa ma-comprehend. I will miss him. More About: Goodbye
Janka's First Podcast
2007-12-06 13:02:00 Hello! Well, I would like to announce that meron na akong podcast!Note: I changed the pitch, tempo and frequency of the audio para hindi nyo makilala ang boses ko. It's like parang my defense mechanism lang.. so enjoy!Jankasphere Podcas...Technorati Tags: Podcast , Jankasphere
Je Me Sens Inquiet
2007-12-06 04:58:00 Et maintenant? Je ne suis pas sûr de ce que je me sens maintenant. C'est comme un mélange de colère, de nervosité, somnolence, etc. Le temps ajoute aussi mon fardeau, car il est si sacrément chaud! Il est censé être réveillon, mais pourquoi est-ce que le temps est comme cela? Je veux que la neige ici aux Philippines et je tiens maintenant! Je suis en exigeant? Peut-être, oui, mais c'est juste ce que je ressens en ce moment. Je veux mettre à jour Jankasphere plus souvent, mais je suis très paresseux, et non le négatif paresseux, paresseux, mais dans le sens que je suis fatigué et je veux arrêter, de la réflexion et de repos.J'ai quelque chose à vous dire, je suis juste agacé avec quelqu'un. Je commence à la déteste. Elle est vraiment ennuyeux! C'est en faisant de petits commentaires débat national! Et elle est mon partenaire dans l'une de nos activités universitaires. Damn Je la déteste!Donc, c'est tout pour aujourd'hui. Bye! More About: Sens
Eew! He's Super Bla Bla!
More articles from this author:2007-12-04 06:29:00 I was having my lunch kanina sa Yellow Cab when this super yabang looking guy went in and sat at the table next to mine. Then he said: "Miss, may kasama ka ba? Pwedeng sabayan kita?" and I was like parang super shocked with what he said! Gosh, he's so super yabang! Then I said: "Sorry, I have no plans of having a new friend coz I've got many, go nalang to the cashier and ask her out. Bagay kasi kayo, hmm.. you look good together!". Then he looked at the cashier who was not that kagandahan and he fell silent nalang. I continued on eating my Sicilian Cheddar Fajita Chicken pizza when I noticed his flip-flops that were super imitation ng Havaianas. Good thing i'm good in inspecting if a product is fake or not. I made balot agad my remaining pizza and Mac & Cheese and I immediately went out kasi baka mag-diffuse na ang smell ng Athlete's Foot nya! Eew!Technorati Tags: Pizza , athlete's foot, yabang More About: Super 1, 2, 3, 4 |
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