Jokes and forwardsJokes and forwardsGreat jokes, Humorous articles and pictures Articles
Reception of Bill Gates' Office at Microsoft.
2008-01-25 09:32:00 Bill Gates ' Car More About: Microsoft , Office , Bill Gates , Bill
SPECIAL COFFIN FOR COKE LOVERS !!!
2008-01-25 08:09:00 Click on the image to enlarge More About: Lovers , Special , Coke , Coffin
Vintage Gadgets
2008-01-25 04:51:00 Motorola StarTac (1996)Kodak Brownie 127 (1953)Sony Walkman TPS-L2 (1979)JVC HR-3300 (1976)IBM 5150 (1981)Western Electric 500 (1949)RCA Model 630TS (1946)Bell & Howell Director Series model 414 Zoomatic (1962)Atari 2600 (1977)Amana Radarange (1967) More About: Gadgets , Vintage
TAARE ZAMEEN PAR .....if someone else had made this movie
2008-01-24 13:34:00 If Karan Johar made Taare * Obvious starcast: o Shah Rukh Khan as the arts teacher (duh duh duh!!). o Aryan Khan as the dyslexic child (even if he could not act for nuts). o Rani Mukerjee as the kid's mom (assuming Kajol is unavailable). o Abhishek Bachchan as the kid's dad. o Amitabh Bachchan as the school principal (who cares if the role is ultra minute, he can afford it). o It would be shot in New York to appeal to the NRI audience. o The story line would obviously be different. SRK would fall for the dyslexic kid's mom. The last scene would have the mom running to the teacher rather than the kid. And again, like in so many other movies, SRK would get someone else's girl. o It would have one dance number. o The film would be titled 'Kuch Taare Zameen Par.'If Sanjay Leela Bhansali made Taar... More About: Movie , Made
Mike is Dead
2008-01-23 11:57:00 Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead??!!!""Whoah, what the happened to him?""Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the curb, the car flipped over and he crashed through the sunroof - Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window.""What a horrible way to die!""No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all. So, he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He's just dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones.""What a way to go, that's terrible!""No no, that didn't kill him -- he survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto th... More About: Dead
The world's longest Ferrari
2008-01-23 06:48:00 This is, believe it or not, the world's first-ever Ferrari stretch limo: a 23-foot 360 Modena with eight seats and the biggest electric gullwing doors we've ever seen.It's the handiwork of Style Limousines in Manchester, which spent more than £200,000 modifying the rear-engined 360.All eight of the seats are carbon-fibre buckets with five-point race harnesses - which might sound excessive until you discover that the 3.6-litre V8 remains, its 395bhp propelling the mega-Ferrari to 60mph in under six seconds. Could prove a challenge not to spill your cheap champagne.Those gull-wing doors are nine-foot long and were designed by one of the teams responsible for the Mercedes SLR McLaren. More About: Longest
Top 10 Concept Cars
2008-01-23 06:27:00 1.Ferrari ~ Aurea Berlinetta2.Audi~RSQ Concept 2.Audi ~ RSQ Concept3.Bmw~M3 CSL 3.Bmw ~ M3 CSL4.Bmw~M5 Concept 4.Bmw ~ M5 Concept5.Chrysler~ME 4-12 Concept 5.Chrysler ~ ME 4-12 Concept More About: Cars , Concept Cars
Ducks and Eagles : A Great motivational story of a cabbie
2008-01-21 06:39:00 No one can make you serve customers well. That's because great service is a choice. Years ago, Harvey Mackay, told a wonderful story about a cab driver that proved this point. He was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing Harvey noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for Harvey. He handed him a laminated card and said:"I'm Wally, your driver. While I'm loading your bags in the trunk I'd like you to read my mission statement."Taken aback, Harvey read the card. It said:Wally's Mission Statement:To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment. This blew Harvey away. Especially when he noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean! As he slid behind the wheel, Wally said, "... More About: Eagles , Story , Great , Motivational
Bike Ride
2008-01-20 14:59:00 A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains just became to much and he could go no farther.He stuck his thumb out, but after 3 hours hadn't gotten a single person to stop.Finally, a guy in a Corvette pulled over and offered him a ride. Of course, the bike wouldn't fit in the car. The owner of the Corvette found a piece of rope lying by the highway, and tied it to his bumper. He then tied the other end to the bike and told the rider that he would drive slow.Everything went fine for the first 30 miles.Suddenly, another Corvette blew past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette pulling the bike took off after the other.A short distance down the road, the Corvettes, both going well over 120 mph, blew through a speed trap.The police officer noted the speeds from his radar gun and radioed ahead to the another officer that he had two Corvettes headed his way at over 120 mph.He then relayed,"..... More About: Bike , Ride
Excellent Grades
2008-01-17 09:58:00 When Suzy got home, she told her dad that she got a 100 in school.Her dad told her to sit down and tell him all about it.She said, "Well, I got a 20 in math, a 30 in science, and a 50 in spelling! More About: Grades , Excellent
A New Record
2008-01-16 09:44:00 A woman meant to call a record store, but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. "Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme?'" she asked."Well, no," answered the puzzled homeowner. "But I have a wife and eleven children.""Is that a record?" she inquired, puzzled in her turn."I don't think so," replied the man, "but it's as close as I want to get." More About: New Record , Record , Cord
Gifted Artist
2008-01-16 09:43:00 A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute." More About: Artist
September 1752 - Interesting (Origin of Paid Leave)
2008-01-14 12:44:00 Have u ever seen the calendar for September 1752??? If you are working in Unix, try this out. At $ prompt, type: cal 9 1752 Surprised??? ?not only in unix, u can also search it in google See the explanation for what you see. Isn't the output queer? A month with whole of eleven days missing. This was the time England shifted from Roman Julian Calendar to the Gregorian Calendar, and the king of England ordered those 11 days to be wiped off the face of the month of September of 1752. (What couldn't a King do in those days?!) And yes, the workers worked for 11 days less, but got paid for the entire 30 days. And that's how "Paid Leave " was born.Hail the King!!! More About: Interesting , Origin
Tippi The fearless girl
2008-01-14 05:48:00 Tippi is a tiny blond girl who lives in Africa. She has a brother by the name of Abu who weighs five tons, and her cats are huge and much stronger than her daddy. This may sound like surrealistic fiction, but it is the true story of Tippi, daughter of two French filmmakers and wildlife photographers, working in southern Africa. Their life in the bush, dunes and swamps, and about Tippi's endearing kinship with wild animals, particularly Abu, a five-ton elephant.. More About: Girl , Fearless
Harvard Gringo
2008-01-13 14:35:00 An American consultant was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.The Mexican replied, "Only a little while."The American then asked, "Why don't you stay out longer and catch more fish?The Mexican said, "Well, I catch enough to feed my family."The American then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life, senor."The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard graduate and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats eventually y...
Very Low Plane Landings
2008-01-12 05:23:00 How does it feels like to have a Huge passenger air plane, Boeing 747 flying inches above your head? This is an amazing video of airplanes landing into the airport just meters away from the sea in St Martin, Carribean. Please click the picture below to watch 3 videos of these amazing landings. More About: Plane
Jokes Weekend special
2008-01-11 18:53:00 Joke 1A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time."How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?""He ate poisonous mushrooms and died.""Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?""He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died.""Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband.""He died of a broken neck.""A broken neck?""He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."Joke 2Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse orders a scotch, gulps it down and slams the glass on the bar. He turns to the second mouse and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it 20 times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."The second mouse orders two shots of bourbon, slams them down and nearly breaks th... More About: Jokes , Weekend , Special
LITTLE JOHNNY AND PROPER GRAMMAR
2008-01-11 11:52:00 One day, during a lesson on proper grammar,the teacher asked the class for a show of hands from thosewho could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on Little Lisa, who responded with,"My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Lisa," replied the teacher.She then called on Little Tommy. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said."Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny ...Last night, during supper, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said,"Beautiful, just f*%@# beautiful !"******* More About: Grammar
Superstar Rajinikanths "ROBO"
2008-01-11 11:36:00 An Imaginary Promo From RajiniFans More About: Superstar , Robo
Facts about Rajanikanth
2008-01-11 09:49:00 Rajanikanth makes onions cry Rajanikanth can delete the Recycle Bin. Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them. Rajanikanth can build a snowman..... out of rain. Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone. Rajanikanth can drown a fish. When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on,............ he turns the dark off. When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth. Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Rajanikanth can throw Brett Favre even further. The last digit of pi is Rajanikanth. He is the end of all things. Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die. Bullets dodge Rajanikanth. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you pa... More About: Facts
R.I.P.
2008-01-10 09:43:00 When I was a young minister, a funeral director asked me to hold a grave side service for a homeless man with no family or friends. The funeral was to be at a cemetery way out in the country. This was a new cemetery and this man was the first to be laid to rest there.I was not familiar with the area and became lost. Being a typical man, of course, I did not ask for directions. I finally found the cemetery about an hour late. The back hoe was there and the crew was eating their lunch. The hearse was nowhere to be seen.I apologized to the workers for being late. As I looked into the open grave, I saw the vault lid already in place. I told the workers I would not keep them long, but that this was the proper thing to do. The workers, still eating their lunch, gathered around the opening.I was young and enthusiastic and poured out my heart and soul as I preached. The workers joined in with, "Praise the Lord," "Amen," and "Glory!" I got so into the service that I preached and preached and...
Driving Test
2008-01-10 09:43:00 A professional juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police."What are you doing with these matches and lighter fluid in your car?" asks the police officer."I'm a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act.""Oh yeah? Let's see you do it," says the officer.So the juggler gets out and starts juggling the blazing torches masterfully.A couple driving by slows down to watch. "Wow," says the driver to his wife. "I'm glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're giving now!" More About: Driving , Test
Too Good to Be True
2008-01-10 09:40:00 Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it."For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it.He eventually decided that people were too untrusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read:"Fridge for sale $50."The next day someone stole it. More About: True , Good
PERKS OF BEING OVER 50
2008-01-09 04:50:00 1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 3. No one expects you to run--anywhere. 4. People call at 9pm and ask, " Did I wake you ????" 5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. 6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way. 7. Things you buy now won't wear out. 8. You can eat dinner at 4pm. 9. You can live without sex but not your glasses. 10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans. 11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. 12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room. 13. You sing along with elevator music. 14. Your eyes won't get much worse. 15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. 16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service. 17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. 1... More About: Perks
New words added to the english dictionary
2008-01-08 12:26:00 Bucknor : (n) (adj) 1. Temporary blindness leading to missing out on the obvious.2. To be at the wrong place at the wrong time. 3. Situations leading to grave judgmental errors. Usage: I feel bucknored by my boss; Life often throws a bucknor at you. Benson: (n) (adj) 1. Something that legitimises a severe bucknor.Usage: First they bucknored me and then they bensoned it! I am toast. Also see bucknor Pontingity : [ pont in gətee ] possession of firm principles: the quality of possessing and steadfastly adhering to high moral principles or professional standards !!! Usage: You cannot question my pontingity in the game. More About: Words , English , Dictionary
Perspective
2008-01-08 08:54:00 An artist, a lawyer, and a computer scientist are discussing the merits of a mistress.The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered.The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce, bankruptcy. Not worth it. Too many problems.The computer scientist says "It's the best thing that's ever happened to me. My wife thinks I'm with my mistress. My mistress thinks I'm home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!" More About: Perspective
House Boats in Kerala , India
2007-12-07 12:00:00 The House boat are giant country crafts, measuring up to 80 feet in length, retrieved from being lost to the State altogether. Once they ruled the backwaters, poled along by one or two men, heavily loaded with rice, coconut and other commodities. But in the recent times, the kettuvalloms have been replaced by more and modern modes of transport, relegating them to neglect and decay.It takes great skill and meticulousness to construct these giant House boats by tying huge planks of jack wood together. Curiously enough, not a single nail is used in their making of a houseboat. There used to be an entire clan of artisans who were involved in kettuvallam construction. Click to enlarge images More About: India , Boats , Kerala , Oats
Fasten Seat Belts
2007-12-07 08:32:00 Flying to Los Angeles from San Francisco the other day, a passenger noticed that the "Fasten Seat Belts " sign was kept lit during the whole journey although the flight was a particularly smooth one.Just before landing, he asked the stewardess about it."Well," she explained, "up front there are 17 University of California girls going to Los Angeles for the weekend."In back, there are 25 Coast Guard enlistees. What would you do?"
OPTICAL ILLUSION ON GERMAN TRUCKS
2007-12-06 13:36:00 Here are 7 pictures of semi-trucks that their trailers are painted to look like the sides are missing and the products they are hauling are painted on the sides and back.The first painting is one is of a bottle that looks like it is coming out the side of the trailer.The second is a canvas tote bag:The third is of Pepsi cases and they are all stacked on the ceiling, and the bottom of the trailer is empty:The fourth is of a truck with the windshield facing the back, and there has been a driver painted in the drivers seat looking back over his shoulder to appear like he is driving backwards:The fifth one is of an aquarium with fish swimming in it:The sixth one is of a bookshelf with books lined up in it, and a post it note with an advertisement:The last one is for Pringles Hot &Spicy. The side of the trailer has the appearance of having been through a fire that has ravaged the truck's interior: More About: Optical Illusion , Trucks , German , Optical , Illusion
More Cat Contemplation
More articles from this author:2007-12-06 12:32:00 "No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me." --Unknown"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." --Albert Schweitzer"The cat has too much spirit to have no heart." --Ernest Menaul"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God." --Anonymous"Time spent with cats is never wasted." --Colette"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well." --Missy Dizick"You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats." --Colonial American proverb"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want." --Joseph Wood Krutch"I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic." --Anonymous"My husband said it was him or the cat... I miss him sometimes." --Anonymous"Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit." --Anonymous More About: Contemplation , Temp 1, 2, 3, 4 |



