DirectoryHumorBlog Details for "Jokes and forwards"

Jokes and forwards

Jokes and forwards
Great jokes, Humorous articles and pictures
Articles: 1, 2, 3, 4

Articles

How Narayana Murthy reached the top of Infosys
2007-12-06 07:31:00
This is truly Inspiring Stuff..Please Scroll down
More About: Infosys , Nara
What's the Time?
2007-12-05 09:38:00
Every Monday morning for years, at about 11:30 am, the telephone operator in a small Sierra-Nevada town received a call from a man asking the exact time.One day the operator summed-up the nerve to ask him why the regularity. "I'm foreman of the local sawmill," he explained. "Every day, I have to blow the whistle at noon, so I call you to get the exact time."The operator giggled, "That's really funny," she said. "All this time, we've been setting our clock by your whistle.
More About: Time , The Time
Contemplating Cats
2007-12-05 09:34:00
There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." --Anonymous"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this." --Anonymous"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." --Jeff Valdez"In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats." --English proverb"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat." --Ellen Perry Berkeley"One cat just leads to another." --Ernest Hemingway"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." --Mary Bly"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia." --Joseph Wood Krutch"People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life." --Faith Resnick"There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats." --Anonymous"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior." --Hippolyte Taine
More About: Temp
Airline Rage
2007-12-04 09:10:00
As a guy takes his seat on an airplane, he is surprised to find a parrot strapped in next to him. After taking off, the flight attendant comes around to serve the passengers on the plane. The guy asks the flight attendant for a coffee and the parrot squawks: "And get ME a coke...NOW!"The flight attendant, flustered by the parrot's attitude, brings back a coke for the parrot. However, she forgets the coffee for the guy.As the guy points this out, the parrot drains his glass and screams:"Get me another coke or I'll really create a scene!"Quite upset, the attendant comes back shaking, with another coke, but still no coffee.Irritated at her forgetfulness, the man decides to try the parrot's approach. "I've asked you twice for a coffee. Go and get it right now, or I'll create a scene that will make HIS look like a Victorian tea party!"The next moment, both the guy and the parrot are grabbed and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly security guards.Hurtling towards earth, the...
More About: Rage , Airline
A grief-stricken man
2007-12-04 08:58:00
A grief-stricken man threw himself on a grave and cried bitterly, "My life, oh how senseless is it! How worthless everything about me, because you are gone. If only you had lived, if only fate had not been so cruel as to take you from this world, how everything would have been different!"A clergyman nearby overheard him and said, "I assume the person lying beneath this mound of earth was someone of great importance to you.""Importance? Indeed it was," wept the man. "It's my wife's first husband!"
More About: Grief
No Bull
2007-12-04 08:57:00
A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher claimed that the bull must have been hit by the train, and wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull.The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store.As soon as the rancher showed up, the attorney for the railroad pulled him aside and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking.After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morn...
More About: Bull
Greatest Inventions of the century :D
2007-12-03 18:26:00
Smart cup in which you can put 2-3 of your favourite cookies. You don't need extra plates. It's made for right handed and left handed.BANANA GUARDAre you fed up with bringing bananas to work or school only to find them bruised and squashed? Banana Guard allows you to safely transport and storage individual bananas letting you enjoy perfect bananas anytime, anywhere.Lock Cup - Anti-Theft Coffee Cup. Are you tired of others stealing your coffee cup? Well now there's a solution. The Lock - Cup has a hole which prevents most people from using it. Only the owner of the cup can use his/hers shaped key to close the hole.PENGUIN TEA TIMERMaking tea, though easy to do, is also time consuming. Once you pour the hot water into the cup, you must patiently hover over it, waiting for the tea to steep. Well, the Penguin Tea Timer happily does the waiting for you.Place your tea cup under the beak and set it to the desired time. As you turn the timer dial, the beak lowers the tea into the hot wat...
More About: Inventions , Century , Greatest
Airbus test accident
2007-12-03 18:08:00
Airbus passenger jet ploughed into a wall during testing at the planemaker's headquarters in Toulouse on Thursday November 16 2007.Five workers injured when the A340-600 broke free and hit a noise-reduction wall during engine tests.The 75 metre aircraft lay at an angle against the parapet surrounding the testbed with its cockpit sheared off. It was to have been delivered to Abu Dhabi-based Etihad Airways next week.The 359-seat A340-600 -- Airbus's largest model before the introduction of the A380 -- is powered by 4 Rolls-Royce Trent 500 engines, each delivering 56,000 pounds of thrust.The damaged aircraft is one of six ordered by Etihad which have yet to be delivered. The airline has two in operation.The ground test accident was the first of its type at Airbus, owned by European aerospace group EADS.Seven people were killed when an Airbus 330 crashed on take-off on a test flight at Toulouse airport in June 1994.
More About: Accident , Airbus , Test
How Numbers evolved
2007-12-03 13:31:00
Have you ever thought why ........ 1 means "one", and 2 means "two"? The roman numerals are easy to understand but what was the logic behind the phonecian numbers? It's all about angles ! It's the number of angles. If one writes the numbers down (see below) on a piece of paper in their older forms, one quickly sees why. I have marked the angles with "o"s. No 1 has one angle.No 2 has two angles.No 3 has three angles.etc.and "O" has no angles
More About: Numbers , Number
Ladies Bumper Stickers
2007-11-14 09:59:00
- So many men, so few who can afford me - God made us sisters, Prozac made us friends - If they don't have chocolate in Heaven, I ain't going! - My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips - Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog - Coffee - Chocolate - Men... Some things are just better rich
More About: Bumper , Stickers , Ladies , Sticker , Ticker
Biggest Movie blunders
2007-11-14 08:09:00
Internal AffairsPirates of carribeanThe Last SamuraiCrouching Tiger hidden dragonTROY
More About: Movie , Lund
Hunting Flies
2007-11-13 12:47:00
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter."What are you doing?" she asked."Hunting Flies ," he responded."Oh!, Killed any?" she asked."Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
Judge's Announcement
2007-11-13 12:44:00
A judge enters the courtroom, strikes the gavel and says, "Before I begin this trial, I have an announcement to make."The lawyer for the defense has paid me $15,000 to swing the case his way. The lawyer for the plaintiff has paid me $10,000 to swing the case her way."In order to make this a fair trial, I am returning $5,000 to the defense."
More About: Announcement , Anno
Appraisal And Resignation
2007-11-13 07:46:00
A newly joined trainee engineer asks his boss "what is the meaning of appraisal?"Boss: "Do you know the meaning of resignation? "Trainee: "Yes I do"Boss: "So let me make you understand what a appraisal is by comparing it with resignation"Comparison study : Appraisal and Resignation **********In appraisal meeting they will speak only about your weakness, errors and failures. In resignation meeting they will speak only about your strengths, past achievements and success.**********In appraisal you may need to cry and beg for even 10% hike. In resignation you can easily demand (or get even without asking) more than 50-60% hike.**********During appraisal, they will deny promotion saying you didn't meet the expectation, you don't have leadership qualities, and you had several drawbacks in our objective/goal. During resignation, they will say you are the core member of team; you are the vision of the company how can you go, you have to take the project in shoulder an...
Complicated English..:)
2007-11-13 07:17:00
Read the paragraph below... and try to understand the meaning. Then look for the answer below. Test yourself first.'Two individuals proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologicprotuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurementof a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exactsize of which was unspecified.'One member of the team precipitously descended, sustaining severedamage to the upper cranial portion of his anatomical structure;subsequently, the second member of the team performedself-rotational translation, orientated in the same direction taken by thefirst team member.' ANY GUESSES WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT???Scroll down to understand :.......in simple English what does this translate to?'Jack and Jill went up the hillTo fetch a pail of waterJack fell down and broke his crownAnd Jill came tumbling after!'
More About: Complicated
Driving Styles
2007-11-12 19:20:00
One Hand On Steering Wheel,One Hand Out Of Window…You Are in SYDNEY …************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***One Hand On Steering Wheel,One Hand On Horn…You Are in JAPAN …************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***One Hand On Steering Wheel,One Hand On Newspaper,Foot Solidly On Accelerator…You Are in BOSTON …************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***Both Hands On Steering Wheel,Eyes Shut,Both Feet On Brake,Quivering In TerrorYou Are in NEW YORK …************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***Both Hands In Air,Gesturing,Both Feet On Accelerator,Head Turned To Talk To Someone In Back Seat…You Are in ITALY …************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***One Hand On Horn,One Hand On Holding Gear,One Ear Listening To Loud Music,One Ear On Cell Phone,One Foot On Accelerator,One Foot On Clutch,Nothing On Break,Eyes On Females In Next Car,WELCOME TO INDIA
More About: Driving , Styles
Some funny lines
2007-11-11 17:21:00
ROMANCE MATHEMATICSSmart man + smart woman = romanceSmart man + dumb woman = affairDumb man + smart woman = marriageDumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy********OFFICE ARITHMETICSmart boss + smart employee = profitSmart boss + dumb employee = productionDumb boss + smart employee = promotionDumb boss + dumb employee = overtime********SHOPPING MATHA man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.********GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICSA woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.A successful woman is one who can find such a man.********HAPPINESSTo be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.********LONGEVITYMarried men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willin...
More About: Funny , Lines , Some
Stock Market !!!!!
2007-11-11 17:13:00
Once upon a time in a village,a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs10.The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around,went out to the forest and started catching them.The man bought thousands at Rs10 and as supply started to diminish,the villagers stopped their effort.He further announced that he would now buy at Rs20.This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms.The offer rate increased to Rs25 and the supply of monkeys became so littlethat it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs50!However, since he had to go to the city on some business,his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers.Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected.I will sell them to you at Rs35 and...
More About: Stock Market , Market , Stock
A Gujarati Boy
2007-11-11 17:11:00
One day many years ago at a school in South London a teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give $20 to the child who can tell me who was the most respected man, whom people consider God, who ever lived."An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick." The teacher said, "Sorry Alan, that's not correct."Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew." The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either.Finally, a Gujarati boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ." The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Jayant, come up here and I'll give you the $20."As the teacher was giving Jayant his money, she said, "You know Jayant, since you are Gujarati, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ." Jayant replied, "Yes, in my heart I knew it was Lord Krishna, but business is business!"
The Indian hell
2007-11-11 16:45:00
A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?" He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day." The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell. Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?" He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day. "But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?" ********...
More About: Hell
INTERESTING FACTS
2007-11-11 16:41:00
1. Saturday mail delivery in Canada was eliminated by CanadaPost on February 1, 1969!2. In Tokyo , a bicycle is faster than a car for most trips of lessthan 50 minutes!3. There are 18 different animal shapes in the Animal Crackerscookie zoo!4. Should there be a crash, Prince Charles and Prince Williamnever travel on the same airplane as a precaution!5. Your body is creating and killing 15 million red blood cells persecond!6. The king of hearts is the only king without a moustache on astandard playing card!7. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos!8. There is one slot machine in Las Vegas for every eightinhabitants! 9. The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows. It was the fashion inRenaissance Florence to shave them off!10. Every day 20 banks are robbed. The average take is $2,500!11. The most popular first name in the world is Muhammad!12. Tablecloths were originally meant to be served as towels withwhich dinner gues...
More About: Interesting , Facts , Eres
How to Get Into Heaven
2007-11-11 14:10:00
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him 'How do you expect to get into Heaven ?' The boy thought it over and said, 'Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!''
These Sorta Make Sense
2007-11-11 14:09:00
- I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now, but leave a message and I'll call when I'm out."- I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how to get out.- I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time." So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.- I have the world's largest collection of sea shells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen some of it.- I photocopied a mirror. Now I have an extra photocopy machine.
More About: Sense , Make
Wife wanted
2007-11-09 10:58:00
A man inserted an ad in the classified: "Wife wanted." Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
More About: Wanted
How to Detect a Mental Deficiency
2007-11-09 10:56:00
A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?""Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track.""What sort of question?""Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'The blonde thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."
More About: Mental
Ridiculous British laws
2007-11-09 08:23:00
1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of parliament . 2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside-down . 3. In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store 4. Mince pies cannot be eaten on Christmas Day . 5. In Scotland, if someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter . 6. A pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman's helmet . 7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the king, and the tail of the queen . 8. It is illegal to avoid telling the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing . 9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of parliament in a suit of armour .
More About: Laws , Ridiculous
☼ 10 COMMANDMENTS OF MARRIAGE ☼
2007-11-08 15:19:00
Commandment 1.Marriage s are made in heaven.But so again, are thunder and lightning.Commandment 2.If you want your spouse to listen andpay strict attention to every word you say,talk in your sleep.Commandment 3.Marriage is grand --and divorce is at least 100 grand!Commandment 4.Married life is very frustrating.In the first year of marriage,the man speaks and the woman listens.In the second year, the woman speaksand the man listens.In the third year, they both speak andthe neighbors listen.Commandment 5.When a man opens the door of his carfor his wife, you can be sure of one thing:Either the car is new or the wife is.Commandment 6.Marriage is when a man and womanbecome as one; the trouble starts whenthey try to decide which one.Commandment 7.Before marriage, a man will lie awakeall night thinking about something yousaid. After marriage, he will fall asleepbefore you finish.Commandment 8.Every man wants a wife who is beautiful,understanding, economical, and a goodcook. But the law allo...
More About: Commandments
UFO over Calcutta/Kolkata Sky
2007-10-30 06:36:00
This was taken from a cellphone camera in the evening (dusk).
More About: Kolkata , Calcutta
UFO sighted in Kolkata sky
2007-10-30 05:44:00
In the first such incident recorded in Kolkata , an unidentified flying object was spotted in the city’s skies early Monday morning.The fireball, that moved very rapidly and even seemed to change its shape and size, was photographed by a resident of Kalikapur in east Kolkata. Scientists couldn’t identify the object though some believe it could be a meteor blazing a trail through the morning sky.The object, as shown on a TV channel, seemed to alter its shape from a round object to a triangle and then turned into a straight line. It emitted a bright light that formed a circle - almost a halo - and also radiated a range of colours.The strange object was spotted between 3.30 am and 6.30 am by a senior executive of a private company, who filmed it on his handycam and showed it to the MP Birla Planetarium director D P Duari.Many others spotted the strange object streaking across the eastern sky and hundreds gathered along EM Bypass to catch a glimpse of the "UFO". Many claimed to have ...
New Mercedes
2007-10-29 09:29:00
Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman.Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!""Dear God! Did you try to stop him?""No," she said, "I did better than that! I got the license plate number!"
More articles from this author:
1, 2, 3, 4
46821 blogs in the directory.
Statistics resets every week.


Contact | About
© Blog Toplist 2008 - Supported by Web Catalog - SEO by FeWorks
eXTReMe Tracker