Jokes and forwardsJokes and forwardsGreat jokes, Humorous articles and pictures Articles
Don't Ignore the Kids
2007-10-29 09:28:00 The 12-year-old boy stood patiently beside the clock counter while the store clerk waited on all of the adult customers first. Finally he got around to the youngster, who made his purchase and hurried out to the curb, where his father was impatiently waiting in his car. "What took you so long, son?" he asked. "The man waited on everybody in the store before me," the boy replied. "But I got even." "How?" "I wound and set all the alarm clocks while I was waiting," the youngster explained happily. "It's going to be fun at eight o'clock." More About: Kids , The Kids
Romantic Dinner
2007-10-26 08:58:00 On their anniversary night, the husband sat his wife sat down in the den with her favorite magazine, turned on the soft reading lamp, slipped off her shoes, patted and propped her feet and announced that he was preparing dinner all by himself."How romantic!" she thought.Two-and-a-half hours later, she was still waiting for dinner to be served. She tiptoed to the kitchen and found it in a colossal mess.Her harried husband, removing something indescribable from the smoking oven, saw her in the doorway. "Almost ready!" he vowed. "Sorry it took me so long -- I had to refill the pepper shaker.""Why, honey, how long could that have taken you?""More'n an hour, I reckon. Wasn't easy stuffin' it through those dumb little holes." More About: Romantic , Dinner
Some Clever Ads
2007-10-24 10:23:00 A print of a cup of Folgers coffee was placed on top of manholecovers in New York City, USA.Holes on the print allow the steam to come out. Wording around thecup reads, "Hey, City That Never Sleeps. Wake up. Folgers." An innovative idea on a large billboard in Amsterdam, Netherlands.It really makes people want to grab that "Heineken". Life-size stickers of people were stuck on automatic sliding doors at a mall in Mumbai, India. When someone approaches, the doors move apart and it feels like the people on the door are moving away. The person entering finds themessage , "People move away when you have body odor".An advertisement found in Malaysia. A sticker was placed on the high voltage box depicting that powerful Duracell batteries were used.An ambient exercise to promote Eatalica burgers. A "Caution ? Wet Floor" board was placed near an Eatalica burger signboard. The copy on the board reads, "Oogling at the burger may involuntarily cause drooling,which may in turn lead to a wet flo... More About: Clever , Some
Women Drivers
2007-10-23 09:56:00 Women Drivers I tell you, women drivers are a hazard to traffic. Driving to work this morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a Mustang doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner!I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane.It scared me so bad I dropped my electric shaver in my coffee, and it spilled all over my cell phone! Cat Tails Where does a cat go when it loses its tail?The retail store. A Dog Cleaning A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets. The salesman stared at the animal, wondering if his imagination could be playing tricks on him. The dog looked up and said, “Don't be surprised. This is just part of my job.”“Incredible!” exclaimed the man. “I can't believe it! Does your boss know what a prize he... More About: Women
Honest Lawyer?
2007-10-22 08:41:00 Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Bobby. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Danny," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Bobby. Danny replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest ?" asked Bobby. "No, just the regular kind", replied Danny. More About: Lawyer
A Common Bum
2007-10-21 12:00:00 A robust-looking gentleman ate a fine meal at an expensive restaurant and topped it off with some Napoleon brandy, then he summoned the headwaiter. "Do you recall," he asked pleasantly, "how a year ago, I ate just such a repast here and then, because I couldn't pay for it, you had me thrown into the alley like a common bum?" "I'm very sorry sir..." began the contrite headwaiter. "Oh, it's quite all right." said the guest, "but I'm afraid I'll have to trouble you again..." More About: Common
Top Ten Reasons to Ask Your Boss For A Raise
2007-10-21 11:59:00 10. You take your paycheck to the bank and the teller bursts out in hysterical laughter. 9. The Red Cross calls and offers you emergency assistance. 8. Your only charge cards are for the Salvation Army, ARC, and DAV thrift stores. 7. You work full time and you still qualify for food stamps. 6. You empty out your piggy bank and then cook the bank and serve it for your Easter ham. 5. All you can think about morning, noon and night is clipping grocery coupons. 4. You file your income taxes and the IRS returns them stamped, "Charity Case -- Return To Sender." 3. You set the world record for mailing $1.00 rebate requests to Young America, Minnesota. 2. You pay all your bills, put your remaining $1 bill into your billfold and it goes into shock. 1. You get arrested for taking the coins out of the fountain in the mall. More About: Boss , Reasons
Terror Storm 2nd Edition Pt 1/12
2007-10-16 19:40:00 Alex Jones' Terror Storm : A Chronicle of False Flag Terrorism in this century... compelling evidence that even London's 7/7 bombings were planned/allowed by the British Govt. More About: Edition
STROKE:Make people aware of it & may be you can become a medium to save
2007-10-16 16:35:00 STROKE IDENTIFICATION: During a party, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) and just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening. Ingrid's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00pm , Ingrid passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the party. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today. Some ?don't die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead. It only takes a minute to read this... A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke... totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, ... More About: People , Make , Save , Stroke , Medium
Jokes
2007-10-16 10:13:00 Absent-minded professor One of the world's greatest scientists was also recognized as the original absent-minded professor. One day, on board a train, he was unable to find his ticket. The conductor said, "Take it easy. You'll find it."When the conductor returned, the professor still couldn't find the ticket. The conductor, recognizing the famous scientist, said, "I'm sure you bought a ticket. Forget about it.""You're very kind," the professor said, "but I must find it, otherwise I won't know where to get off." Washington, D. C. A tour guide was showing a tourist around Washington, D. C. The guide pointed out the place where George Washington supposedly threw a dollar across the Potomac River."That's impossible," said the tourist. "No one could throw a coin that far!""You have to remember," answered the guide. "A dollar went a lot farther in those days." Yard Work The homeowner got into his old work clothes one Satur... More About: Jokes
21 things an Indian does after returning from abroad
2007-10-15 08:46:00 21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health conscious. 19. Sprays deo such so that he doesn't need to takebath. 18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'. 17. Says Hey instead of HiSays Yogurt instead of CurdSays Cab instead of TaxiSays Candy instead of ChocolateSays Cookie instead of BiscuitSays **Free Way** instead of HighwaySays got to go instead of Have to goSays O instead of Zero (for 704, says Seven Oh! Four instead of Seven Zero Four) 16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps oncomplaining about it every time he steps out. 15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters),and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs) 14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far aspossible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 45 times). 13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk packet. 12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats Zee several times, if the other person unab... More About: Indian , Things , Broad
I'll trust you that you paid
2007-10-09 09:20:00 A man walks into a bar and has a couple of beers. Once he is done the bartender tells him he owes $9.00. "But I paid, don't you remember?" says the customer. "Okay," says the bartender, "If you said you paid, you did." The man then goes outside and tells the first person he sees that the bartender can't keep track of whether his customers have paid. The second man then rushes in, orders a beer and later pulls the same stunt. The barkeep replies, "If you say you paid, I'll take your word for it." Soon the customer goes into the street, sees an old friend, and tells him how to get free drinks. The man hurries into the bar and begins to drink high-balls when, suddenly, the bartender leans over sand says, "You know, a funny thing happened in here tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid and both claimed that they did. The next guy who tries that is going to get punched right in the nose." "Don't bother me with your troubles," the final patron responds. "Just... More About: Paid , Trust
List Of bollywood movies which got Inspiration from hollywood
2007-10-08 08:25:00 The Killer(2006) ----> Collateral (2004)Krrish(2006) ----> Paycheck (2003)Tathastu(2006) ----> John Q (2002)Shaadi Se Pehle(2006) ----> Hindi Movie Meri Biwi Ki Shaadi (1979)Rang De Basanti(2006) ----> English Drama All My Sons (1948)Zinda(2006) ----> Korean movie OldboyMr Ya Miss(2005) ----> Hot Chic (2002)Sauda - The Deal(2005) ----> Indecent Proposal (1993)Ek Ajnabee(2005) ----> Man On Fire (2004)Chocolate(2005) ----> The Usual Suspects (1995)Salaam Namaste(2005) ----> Nine Months (1995)Main Aisa Hi Hoon(2005) ----> I Am Sam (2001)Kyon Ki... ----> One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest (1975)Aabra Ka Dabra (2004) ----> Harry Potter (2001)Dhoom(2004) ----> The Fast and the Furious (2001) &Ocean's Eleven (2001)Hum Tum(2004) ----> When Harry Met Sally... (1989)Murder (2004) ----> Unfaithful (2002)Taarzan (2004) ----> Christine (1983)Qayamat(2003) ----> The Rock (1996)Koi... Mil Gaya (2003) ----> s E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982), Forrest Gump (1994)Aapko Pehle Bhi Kahin Dekha Hai... More About: Hollywood , Bollywood , Movies , Inspiration , List
10 Facts about death..!
2007-10-08 08:09:00 1. When a person dies, hearing is the last sense to go -- the first is usually sight, followed by taste, smell and touch2. A human head remains conscious for about 15 to 20 seconds after it has been decapitated3. 100 people choke to death on pens each year. One is more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a spider4. Alexander's funeral would have cost $600 million today. A road from Egypt to Babylon was built to carry his body5. When inventor Thomas Edison died in 1931, his friend Henry Ford captured his last dying breath in a bottle6. Over 2500 left-handed people are killed each year from using products made for right-handed people7. It takes longer than ever before a body to decompose due to preservatives in the food that we eat these days8. An eternal flame lamp at the tomb of a Buddhist priest in Nara, Japan has kept burning for 1,130 years9. Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry is the first person to have his ashes put aboard a rocket and 'buried' in space More About: Facts , Death
India Australia cricket match tickets
2007-10-08 07:02:00 Links to buy india australia match ticketshttp://www.worldticketshop.com/cri cket/one_day_international_(odi)_ticketsh ttp://www.globalticketservice.com/eventli st.asp?event=Sports&mainevent=India %2 0vs%20Australia More About: Cricket , Tickets , Match
Have you ever felt like doing this?
2007-10-02 19:23:00 Have you ever felt like doing this?************ More About: Felt , Doing
Can u guess which festival is this?
2007-10-02 18:51:00 Scroll Down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!You might have said: Krishna Janmastmi (Dahi Handi). ****** Wrong ***** Scroll down for answer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! " RAKSHA BHANDHAN " More About: Festival , Guess
Santa Singh
2007-10-02 15:21:00 Santa Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".2. How many seconds are there in a year?Santa thought for a few minutes and answered...1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.2. There are 12 seconds in a year.Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct.But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?"Santa replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...."Saint Peter lets him in without another word.... More About: Santa
Watch one day match Live Streaming- India Vs Australia ODI
2007-09-29 07:50:00 Watch live telecast of first one day match India Vs Australia .India Vs Australia. September. 29 1st ODI, Bangalore.athttp://live-sports24.net/cric ket.aspxorhttp://livesportslinks.blogspot .com.more sites that you can try outhttp://watch-tv-on-computer.comhttp:// www.pc-tv-4-me.info More About: Watch , Live , Match
IT Life...
2007-09-28 12:50:00 On a lighter note1) Project Manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month.2) Developer is a person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby.3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; They'll produce a child with zero resources.7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.And last but not the least...9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the right baby. More About: Life
Help injured people without any fear!
2007-09-28 11:28:00 Right to Emergency Care:Date Of Judgment: 23/02/2007.Case No.: Appeal (civil) 919 of 2007.The Supreme Court has ruled that all injured persons especially in the case of road traffic accidents, assaults, etc., when brought to a hospital / medical centre, have to be offered first aid, stabilized andshifted to a higher centre / government centre if required. It is only after this that the hospital can demand payment or complete police formalities. In case you are a bystander and wish to help someone in an accident, please go ahead and do so. Your responsibility ends as soon as you leave the person at the hospital.The hospital bears the responsibility of informing the police, first aid, etc.Please do inform your family and friends about these basic rights so that we all know what to expect and what to do in the hour of need.Please not only go ahead and forward, use it too!!!!courtesy : Ritesh sharma More About: People , Fear , Injured
Lost & Found
2007-09-28 11:14:00 As the bus pulled away, I realized I had left my purse under the seat. Later I called the company and was relieved that the driver had found my bag. When I went to pick it up, several off-duty bus drivers surrounded me.One man handed me my pocketbook, two typewritten pages and a box containing the contents of my purse. "We're required to inventory lost wallets and purses," he explained. "I think you'll find everything there."As I started to put my belongings back into the pocketbook, the man continued, "I hope you don't mind if we watch. Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your purse. And we'd like to see just how you do it." More About: Lost
Australia in India, 2007 - India Vs Australia - Tickets Information
More articles from this author:2007-09-28 09:32:00 India vs Australia (1st ODI) SaturdaySeptember 29, 2007/00:00 M.Chinnaswamy Stadium, Bangalore, (India) find Tick ets India vs Australia (2nd ODI) TuesdayOctober 02, 2007/00:00 Nehru Stadium, Kochi, (India) find TicketsIndia vs Australia (3rd ODI) FridayOctober 05, 2007/00:00 Gymkhana Ground, Hyderabad, (India) find Tickets India vs Australia (4th ODI) MondayOctober 08, 2007/00:00 Sector 16 Stadium, Chandigarh, (India) find Tickets India vs Australia (5th ODI) ThursdayOctober 11, 2007/00:00 I.P.C.L. Sports Complex Ground, Vadodara, (India) find Tickets India vs Australia (6th ODI) SundayOctober 14, 2007/00:00 Vidarbha C.A. Ground, Nagpur, (India) find Tickets India vs Australia (7th ODI) WednesdayOctober 17, 2007/00:00 Brabourne Stadium, Mumbai, (India) find Tickets courtesy :http://www.cricketdomain.blogspot.com/ More About: India , Information 1, 2, 3, 4 |



