ZA VibesZA VibesHumor, Funny stuff, South African musings Articles
Please Explain
2008-05-08 11:42:00 There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of ... More About: Humor
Stupid People Sign
2008-05-08 11:42:00 Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, “I?m Stupid”. That way you wouldn?t rely on them, would you? You wouldn?t ask them anything. It would be like, “Excuse me…oops, never mind. I didn?t see your sign.” It?s like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was ... More About: Humor , People , Stupid , Sign , Stupid people
Airplane Maintenance
2008-05-08 11:41:00 “Squawks” are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some squawks submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. (P) = Problem (S) = Solution — (P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement (S) Almost replaced left inside main tire ... More About: Humor , Airplane , Maintenance
Earth Had Multiple Moons?
2008-05-08 06:35:00 I watched a fascinating BBC documentary the other night, called “Rare Earth ”. In this documentary, they stated a theory that a Mars-sized object that collided with Earth, created the moon. Now a new study from NASA’s Ames Research Center has suggested that this collision (that created the Moon) may also have resulted in the creation ... More About: Observations
On This Date, May 5: Karl Marx
2008-05-05 10:42:00 On this date in 1818, Karl Marx , descended from a long line of rabbis, was born in Prussian Rhineland. Marx’ father converted to Protestantism shortly before Karl’s birth. Educated at the Universities of Bonn, Jena, and Berlin, Marx founded the Socialist newspaper Vorwarts in 1844 in Paris. After being expelled from France at the urging ...
MacGyver Film In the Works?
2008-05-05 06:27:00 Looks like everyone’s favorite Swiss Army knife-wielding action hero may be making an appearance on the big screen. The original series creator has announced plans are in the works for a Mac Gyver film. Serious questions abound: Will Richard Dean Anderson reprise the role? Will filming and editing somehow be done only using a paperclip, duct-tape, ... More About: Film , Macgyver , Observations , Works
The Way Things Work
2008-05-04 08:04:00 The information age is upon us, baffling us with thousands of complicated state-of-the-art technologies. To help make sense of the computer age, David Macaulay brings us The New Way Things Work . This completely updated and expanded edition describes twelve new machines and includes more than eighty new pages detailing the latest innovations. With an ...
Eight Belles Euthanized
2008-05-04 07:55:00 “It’s the filly,” someone whispered. She went down about a quarter mile past the finish line. In just a few minutes, the joy of the Derby and the promise of a new Triple Crown season were upended when Eight Belles was euthanized by injection on the track. She had broken both front ankles and could not be ...
Definitions
2008-05-04 07:51:00 ARCHITECT: Defines someone who was neither macho enough to become an engineer nor gay enough to become a designer. BANKER: Someone who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and takes it back when it starts to rain. BOY SCOUT: A child dressed like an asshole under the leadership of an asshole dressed like ... More About: Humor , Definitions
Real Flight Announcements
2008-05-04 07:50:00 Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the “in-flight safety lecture” and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane…” Pilot - “Folks, we have ... More About: Humor , Real , Flight
Reaction To Blasphemy Case
2008-05-03 16:42:00 In reaction to my previous post: Blasphemy Case To Appeals Court : A completely victimless crime, there is no God and Mohammed died centuries ago. Clearly intimidation has displaced intellect, such abysmal depths of mediaeval barbarity…do these people belong in the 21st Century at all? I don’t think so, this certainly showcases Islam as a gravely retarded ... More About: Religion , Observations
Blasphemy Case To Appeals Court
2008-05-03 16:40:00 Ebtihal Mubarak, Arab News JEDDAH, 21 April 2008 ? The case of a Turkish barber who was sentenced to death at the Jeddah General Court on March 31 on charges of blasphemy will be sent to the Appeals Court in Makkah next week. Sabri Bogday was sentenced to death after two men, one Saudi and the ... More About: Islam , Observations , Case , Blasphemy , Death Sentence
Space Elevator Test Run
2008-05-03 16:11:00 “Although the day started with difficulties, it ended with a successful 1000 foot space elevator test climb to a tethered 10-foot diameter balloon - LiftPort’s first really significant climb. This was supposed to be a 1 mile climb test, but the FAA-required aviation orange paint - applied at 50 foot intervals to the ribbon - ... More About: Space , Space Elevator , Test , Elevator
Such An Idiot
2008-05-02 14:12:00 If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up” said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. “Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?” enquired the teacher with a sneer. “Well, actually I don’t,” said the student, “but I hate to see you standing up ... More About: Idiot
An Ethical Question
2008-05-02 14:11:00 After drafting a will for an elderly client, the lawyer announced a fee of $100. The client gave the lawyer a $100 bill. After the client left, the lawyer saw that the client had in fact paid $200, as two of the client’s $100 bills had stuck together. Looking at the $100 overpayment, an ethical question arose in ... More About: Funny , Humor , Humour , Question , Joke
No Milk
2008-05-02 14:09:00 A woman and a baby come into the doctor?s office. She is taken into an examining room and waits for the doctor. After arriving there, the doctor examines the baby, and finds him not gaining much weight and asks the woman, “Is he breast fed or on the bottle?” “Oh…he is breast fed!”, replied the woman. “Well ... More About: Funny , Humor , Humour , Joke , Milk
Shopping
2008-05-02 14:08:00 A man was shopping in the men?s department at Bloomingdale?s when he noticed an absolutely beautiful woman behind the sales counter. He went up to her and said, - “Good morning, madam.” She smiled pleasantly and asked - “And what do you want?” The man said, - “What I WANT is to wrap my arms around you and ... More About: Funny , Humor , Humour , Shopping , Joke
On This Day: April 30
2008-04-30 09:38:00 Highlights in history on this date: 1657 - English fleet defeats Spanish fleet off Santa Cruz, Bolivia. 1789 - George Washington is inaugurated as the first president of the United States. 1803 - The United States doubles in size with the purchases of the Louisiana Territory and New Orleans from France. 1824 - Crete, in ... More About: April
SARB Seemingly On The Attack
2008-04-30 08:34:00 By Cees Bruggemans, Chief Economist FNB 29 April 2008 In a television interview last week, SARB Governor Mboweni expressed his deep concern about rapidly rising inflation. He laid it on the line, ever so clearly, and no longer quite in code as had been done at the end of the last Monetary Policy Committee meeting earlier this ... More About: Inflation , Observations , Attack
Pour Some Sugar On Me
2008-04-30 06:22:00 I?ll bet every time you heard Def Leppard?s Pour Some Sugar On Me back in the ?80s, all you could think was, ?Now, that?s a song you could do a mean Paso Doble to!? Right? Well, that?s what you?re going to get tonight on the Dancing with the Stars Results Show. Legendary rock band Def Leppard ...
The Good, The Bad And The Ugly
2008-04-30 06:10:00 Good: You?re pregnant. Bad: It?s triplets. Ugly: Your husband had a vasectomy five years ago. Good: Your husband is not talking to you. Bad: He wants a divorce. Ugly: He?s a lawyer. Good: Your son is finally maturing. Bad: He?s involved with the woman next door. Ugly: So are you. Good: Your son studies a lot in his ... More About: Funny , Humor , Humour , Joke , Good
Lips That Touch Liqour
2008-04-30 06:07:00 I really doubt that this campaign against alcohol abuse had any success. I mean, the only way anyone could dare touch those lips would only be if you were heavily pissed! More About: Funny , Humor , Humour , Picture , Lips
Free Air Guitars
2008-04-30 06:04:00 Now here’s a bargain! I mean, they’re free and all! What a great way to attract customers, just give away free stuff, you know! LOL! More About: Funny , Humor , Humour , Joke , Free
The Frog
2008-04-29 06:56:00 A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday. After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive. She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn?t want to spend a fortune. - “Well,” said the clerk, “I have a very large bullfrog. They ... More About: Funny , Humor , Humour , Joke , Frog
A Gorilla In Heat
2008-04-29 06:54:00 A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very ornery, and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorilla species available. While reflecting on their problem, the ... More About: Funny , Humor , Humour , Joke , Heat
If Men Ruled The World
2008-04-29 06:51:00 Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your name again?” cards. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, ... More About: Funny , Humor , Humour , World , Joke
Fout Little Animals
2008-04-29 06:48:00 A teacher asked her class, “What do you want out of life?” A little girl in the back row raised her hand and said, “All I want out of life is four little animals!” The teacher asked, “Really and what four little animals would that be?” The little girl said, “A mink on my back, a jaguar in ... More About: Funny , Humor , Humour , Joke , Animals
Know Your Bible (1)
2008-04-29 06:41:00 I know a lot of Christians. A lot of them are also bordering on being fundamentalist, stating that the Bible should be taken literally. Now, if we take this verse in 1 Timothy literally (which I guess was the intention at the time this was written), all women should be treated as inferior to men. ... More About: Religion , Christianity , Observations
Best Friend
More articles from this author:2008-04-25 06:55:00 A man is sitting at the bar in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey. One of his friends happens to come into the bar and sees him. “Lou,” says the shocked friend, “what are you doing? I?ve known you for over fifteen years, and I?ve never seen you take a drink before. What?s going ... More About: Funny , Humor , Humour , Joke , Friend 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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