ZA VibesZA VibesHumor, Funny stuff, South African musings Articles
I?ve Converted To EVERY Religion
2008-06-05 15:49:00 I’ve converted to EVERY religion (just in case) We all know the “Pascal’s Wager” argument a lot of Christians use to convince people to believe in God . Well this dude explains the falacy in that, since, if you believe in the WRONG god, you only make the “real god” madder and madder every time you ... More About: Religion , Christianity , Islam , Mohammed
Nothing To Worry About
2008-06-05 11:08:00 In a second grade sex education class, little Mary asks, “teacher, can my momma get pregnant?” The teacher asks, “how old is your mother?” Little Mary says, “forty”. The teacher says, “yes, your mother could get pregnant.” The little girl asks, “can my big sister get pregnant?” The teacher asks, “how old is your sister?” Little Mary answers, “nineteen”. The teacher says, ... More About: Funny , Humor , Humour , Joke , Worry
Got Any Change?
2008-06-04 06:27:00 Officer: “Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?” Soldier: “Sure, buddy.” Officer: “That’s no way to address an officer! Now let’s try it again!” Officer: “Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?” Soldier: “No, SIR!” More About: Funny , Humor , Humour , Joke , Change
Psychics Prediction
2008-06-03 11:22:00 Jennifer visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news: “There?s no easy way to say this, so I?ll just be blunt - prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.” Visibly shaken, Jennifer stared ... More About: Funny , Humor , Humour , Joke , Psychics
A Tough Test
2008-05-30 06:21:00 My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me .. it was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts,and generally was braless. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and ... More About: Funny , Humor , Humour , Joke , Condom
Century 21 Bela Bela Classic
2008-05-28 07:59:00 OK, so this past weekend I spent up in Bela Bela (Warmbaths) for the Century 21 Bela Bela Classic , a 95km cycle road-race. It was my first attempt at it, and wow, what a result! It’s fast and flat and from the start the guys (I started with the first Open Seeded bunch) ... More About: Sport , Cycling
The Story Of The Bats
2008-05-28 05:53:00 Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, “Let’s fly out of the cave and get some blood.” “We’re new here,” says the second one. “It’s dark out, and we don’t know where to look. We’d better wait until the other bats go with us.” The first ... More About: Humor , Story , Bats , The Story
Every Job Is Important
2008-05-28 05:52:00 The teacher in Johnny´s school asked the class what their parents did for a living. One little girl said her father was a doctor, another said her mother was an engineer. When it was Little Johnny´s turn, he stood up and said “My mom´s a whore.” Naturally, after that remark, he got sent off to the principal´s ...
Only In America!
2008-05-26 06:08:00 Only in America ……can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. Only in America……are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. Only in America……do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the ... More About: Humor
Loud, Mad Or Sad
2008-05-26 06:04:00 The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test. Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?” A young ... More About: Humor , Loud
Adam?s Maxim & Spinoza?s Conjecture
2008-05-21 19:24:00 A very interesting and thought provoking read. This is an article, written by Michael Shermer and published in the March edition of Scientific American. Explains in a way why we (humans) are so susceptible to belief in irrational ideas: Belief, disbelief and uncertainty generate different neural pathways in the brain During an early episode ... More About: Maxim , Observations , Adam
Or What
2008-05-21 05:51:00 The man tells his doctor that his wife hasn?t wanted to have sex with him for the past 7 months. The physician tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her. When the wife comes to office, the doctor asks her why doesn?t she want to have sex with her husband ...
Get More Bread
2008-05-20 06:02:00 A general store owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt [or general lack thereof] and the location of ... More About: Humor , Bread
Going To Weddings
2008-05-20 06:00:00 When I was younger I hated going to weddings. It seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, ‘You’re next.’ They stopped that shit after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. More About: Humor , Weddings
Dogs And Men
2008-05-19 05:59:00 How Dogs and Men Are the Same 1. Both take up too much space on the bed. 2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning. 3. Both mark their territory. 4. Neither tells you what?s bothering them. 5. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous. 6. Both have an inordinate fascination with women?s crotches. 7. Neither does any dishes. 8. Both fart ... More About: Humor
Warning Labels
2008-05-16 19:59:00 “Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers.” — From a manual for an SGI computer. “The appliance is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the ?on? position.” — Instructions for an espresso kettle. “Fits one head.” — On a hotel-provided shower cap box. “Not to be used as a ... More About: Humor , Labels , Warning
Funny Movie Facts
2008-05-16 19:57:00 Things you would never know without the movies: - Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it. - A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK stadium. - Even when driving down a perfectly straight ... More About: Funny , Humor , Movie , Facts
Watch Your Mouth
2008-05-15 06:07:00 A man left work one Friday afternoon. Being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spent his entire paycheck. When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting ... More About: Humor , Watch , Mouth
Will You Be Able?
2008-05-15 06:06:00 “I never slept with a man until I married your father,” declared the stern mother to her wild young daughter. “Will you be able to say the same thing to your daughter?” “Yes,” replied the girl, “but not with such a straight face.” More About: Humor
Mormon Church Goes After WikiLeaks
2008-05-14 15:55:00 The Mormon Church has instructed its lawyers to gag the Internet over WikiLeaks ’ release of the 1968 and 1999 versions of its confidential handbook for Church leaders. Apart from attacking WikiLeaks, legal demands were sent to Jimmy Wales of the WikiMedia foundation for a WikiNews article merely linking to the material, and scribd.com has also ... More About: Observations , Mormon Church
Msoft Launches WorldWide Telescope
2008-05-14 06:09:00 WorldWide Telescope , developed by Microsoft’s research arm, knits together images from the Hubble Space Telescope, the Chandra X-Ray Observatory Center, the Sloan Digital Sky Survey, and others. Windows users (only) can browse through the galaxy on their own or take guided tours of different outer-space destinations developed by astronomers and academics. The application allows viewing ... More About: Observations , Worldwide
The Baked Beans
2008-05-14 06:02:00 Mrs. Brown is the church Matron, and she has become very famous for the baked beans she makes for every picnick or church potluck. The annual Mothers Day Pot Luck Dinner was tomorrow, and as usual Mrs. Brown set about preparing her baked beans for the meal. She had set everything to going on the stove, and was called away to ... More About: Humor , Baked , Beans
New Special Day - March 20th
2008-05-14 06:00:00 Every 14th of February you get the chance to display your fondness for your wife or girlfriend by showering her with gifts, flowers, dinner, shows and any other baubles that women find romantic. Secret…guys feel left out. That?s right…left out. There?s no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their ... More About: Humor , Special , Steak , March
Bad Gorilla
2008-05-13 06:00:00 It was a warm, sunny Sunday, so a man and his wife decided to take in the zoo. They spent the day, and at closing time they walked past the gorilla cage, and the man noticed the gorilla looking at his wife. “That gorilla is getting excited just looking at your tits,” he said. ” Why don?t you take ... More About: Humor , Gorilla
Brilliant Diagnosis
2008-05-09 06:17:00 One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. “Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you ... More About: Humor , Diagnosis , Brilliant
Top 10 Funny Store Signs
2008-05-09 06:16:00 1.Outside a muffler shop: “No appointment necessary, we hear you coming.” 2.Outside a hotel: “Help! We need inn-experienced people.” 3.On a desk in a reception room: “We shoot every 3rd salesman , and the 2nd one just left.” 4.In a veterinarians waiting room: “Be back in 5 minutes, Sit ! Stay!” 5.At the electric company: “We would be de-lighted ... More About: Funny , Humor , Store , Signs
After-Sex Comments by Star Sign
2008-05-09 06:13:00 Aries: “Okay, let?s do it again!” Taurus: “I?m hungry — pass the pizza.” Gemini: “Have you seen the remote?” Cancer: “When are we getting married?” Leo: “Wasn?t I fantastic?” Virgo: “I need to wash the sheets.” Libra: “I liked it if you liked it.” Scorpio: “Perhaps I should untie you.” Sagittarius: “Don?t call me — I?ll call you.” Capricorn: “Do you have a business ... More About: Humor , Comments , Star , Sign
The Pirate
2008-05-09 06:12:00 A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, “Hey, I haven?t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.” “What do you mean?” said the pirate, “I feel fine.” “What about the wooden leg? You didn?t have that before.” “Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ... More About: Humor , Pirate
Some Q & A
2008-05-09 06:11:00 Q: What do you call kinky sex with chocolate? A: S&M&M. ~~~~ Q: Why do we have orgasms? A: How else would we know when to stop? ~~~~ Q: Define Transvestite: A: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary! ~~~~ Q: What do you call kids born in whorehouses? A: Brothel sprouts. More About: Funny , Humor , Humour
Golf, Anyone?
More articles from this author:2008-05-08 11:43:00 This sign was posted at a local golf club 1. Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart. 2. Form a loose grip. 3. Keep your head down. 4. Avoid a quick back swing. 5. Stay out of the water. 6. Try not to hit anyone. 7. If you are taking too long, please let others go ahead of you. 8. Don?t stand ... More About: Humor , Golf , Anyone 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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