What Makes A Housewife Desperate?What Makes A Housewife Desperate?I am a stay-at-home, homeschooling mother of three. This is the story of my day to day. Boring to some, funny to many. It is what it is. No added fillers or preservatives. All names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent. Articles
Snow Day
2006-12-02 15:07:44 This morning Sister came and woke me exclaiming it had snowed. And sure enough, it had.Only here can it be 70 degrees one morning and 24 with snow and ice the next.Amazing.I had the best laid plans to be productive today. We were going to carry on just like any other day. Business as usual. The kids were asking to go out and play and like a real Grinch, I was being firm. "No. School and chores first."Then those public school kids had to go and mess it all up.We had just barely made the beds and hadn't even sat down to do our lessons when the knock came at the door.(Actually, due to the Christmas music we had blaring, it was more of a very loud, obnoxious pounding.)Since the schools were out for the weather, the little neighbor boy down the street wanted Brother to come out and play in the snow.What's a mom to do? I mean, it's one thing for your own kids to know how mean and hateful you can be. But it's clearly another for all the neighbor kids to know.So I caved. And we decla... More About: Snow , Snow Day
Music Therapy
2006-12-02 15:07:44 I have about a 20-25 minute drive home from class on Monday nights. I enjoy this time. I usually find something good on the radio and crank it. Then I sing and bop around the car like a complete buffoon.I call it Music Therapy .Tonight, after getting all riled up at Mr. Whiney Government Man, I was in the mood for Angry Girl Music.You know...Kelly.I flipped through all the stations, thinking surely something could help me purge the Angry Girl.Boston.Bon Jovi.Chicago.Rod Stewart.I love all this on a normal day. On a normal day it would make for a great therapy session. But tonight it wasn't scratching the itch.I keep flipping.I land upon a lovely musical selection played with a dulcimar.This only fuels Angry Girl.FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IT'S A DULCIMAR!!!!!!!!!Dear Santa,For Christmas I would like a CD player for my car so I can listen to Kelly whenever my Angry Girl so desires.So, feeling angry? Join me in some music therapy. Bang your head and scream the lyrics. If you do it right, y... More About: Hera , Music Therapy , Erap
Die Another Day
2006-12-02 15:07:44 I have never, ever, in my entire life been in an actual, physical fist fight with anyone.Well, there was that incident in second grade where I bloodied Randy C.'s nose, but that wasn't really my fault. I mean, I told him to leave me alone.However, tonight I came as close as I ever have been to clocking Mr. Whiney Government Man.As I entered the classroom tonight, these were his completely ignorant, devoid of thought or common sense comments to me:"Hey, I've got my grocery list with me! If you've got time to make a 94 on a test, you've got time to run to the store for me!" (insert insipid chortling here)I'm a nice person.I can take teasing.But this...this made my blood boil.On the outside, one would observe a quiet demeanor and a coy smile as I calmly took my seat, never raising my eyes to look at him because in actuality they might shoot real honest-to-God flames and incinerate his juvenile, condescending ass.*Inside I was screaming and throwing desks. I was grabbing him ... More About: Other , Another
Why, why oh why do my children bicker nonstop 24/7...
2006-12-02 15:07:44 Why, why oh why do my children bicker nonstop 24/7? Why? If anyone has this secret, I will pay you big bucks for it.Okay, I'll pay you $1.50 for it. Cold, hard cash.Anyone? More About: Children , Stop , Child
To the Whiney Man Who Is In My Government Class:
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2006-12-02 15:07:44 To the Whiney Man Who Is In My Government Class :I realize you have been through a very difficult time. Losing your wife to cancer had to be devastating. For this, my heart goes out to you. If ever you want to talk about this, I am all ears. You have my complete sympathy.However, should you ever comment about my grades again, I may have to, in all reality, take you down and slug the living daylights out of you.It is quite possible your job keeps you so busy you can't find the time to study. I am sure taking 6 credit hours is draining for a single man whose children are grown. There are probably many extenuating circumstances of which I am unaware that prevent you from doing what is required.But, please, please do not make comments that make it sound as though I am a lady of leisure who can pull off an "A" with the flick of my wrist. Do not make it seem as though you could do better if you had "the time" I do. I will pretend your attitude does not insinuate that because I do not have... More About: Men , Over , T class
It Was A Good Year
2006-12-02 15:07:44 So last night, while doing my annual "Rummage-Through-the-Kids'-Halloween-Cand y-After-They-Go-To-Bed" ritual, I made a delightful discovery.Mmmmmm...lots of good stuff.To all my neighbors out there who opted for chocolate this Halloween instead of the old standbys of Skittles, Dum-Dums and Starlight Mints, especially Ms. Cindy across the street who gave us full sized Hershey bars, I thank you.From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU. More About: Good , Year
Blondes Have More Fun
2006-12-02 15:07:44 She's absolutely adorable. No doubt about it. And she's actually incredibly smart to boot, but hides it very well. In fact, sometimes she acts downright...well...blonde.Sister has always been easily distracted. As a temperamental toddler, I could always divert her attention whenever I sensed a meltdown coming on.And sometimes, it still works.Last night I promised the kids I would make them hot chocolate for breakfast this morning. Sister did not forget."Hey, Mom! Let's have hot chocolate this morning!" she says, her voice getting that squeaky-like quality it gets when she becomes excited."Great idea!" I say, mimicking her excitement.We head to the kitchen to get started and she has a brilliant plan. "Let's have snacks with our hot chocolate!!""Like what?" I ask."Cookies!" comes the reply, increasing in excitement and pitch.Cookies for breakfast. That is a brilliant plan."No!" I answer, still matching her giddiness."How about Candy??!!" she says, acting as though she has just st... More About: Fun , Blondes , Blond , Blonde , Have
Please take a moment to read about Baby Ashley.
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2006-12-02 15:07:44 Please take a moment to read about Baby Ashley. I will admit, I often wonder what good it does me to pray. I often wonder how in the world what I say could possibly sway a sovereign God. So many times, in situations like this, the outcome is not what I want, and my disillusionment grows.But my heart breaks. And I don't know what else to do.So join me, and pray for this baby girl and her family. Spread the word.Thank you, Sarah, for posting about this. More About: Men , Take , Read , About
Have You Ever Done This?
2006-12-02 05:35:01 Fourteen years of marriage and doing laundry and I have never, not EVER turned any of my husbands whites pink......until today.I had just washed my hot pink Banana Republic cardigan and laid it over the back of a chair at the kitchen table to dry. Baby was sitting at the table, coloring. I then turned back to the stove where I was making lunch.A word of advice:Never turn your back on a 1-year-and-364-day-old toddler alone with markers.When I turned around again she was coloring the wooden slats on the back of the chair with a purple marker and my beautiful sweater had purple scribbles all over the back and shoulders.I quickly grabbed the sweater and doused the scribbles in Spray n Wash, sending up a silent plea. I let it set a few minutes and finished lunch for the kids. When I came back, the purple had disappeared from the sweater and I breathed a huge sigh of relief.Baby could live to see her second birthday.Normally, I would wash my sweater with dark colors, but light colors were... More About: This , Have , Ever , Done
The Accidental Hospital Tour
2006-12-01 17:34:07 My friend had a baby Tuesday.Sometimes in the hustle and bustle of life, this seems so commonplace. So normal. But I am here to tell you, there is absolutely nothing commonplace about it. Babies are nothing short of miraculous.I stopped by the hospital on my way home from class Wednesday morning. As I was entering from the third floor of the parking garage, two women came out. One of them looked up at me with tears running down her face and then looked back down at the ground while the other put her arm about her shoulders and whispered something in her ear. Once inside the doors, a larger group of people, perhaps somehow related to the two women, were crying and comforting each other.They had obviously received some bad news.And I walked past, unaffected by their suffering. It struck me for a moment how close I was to their pain. How I could almost reach out and touch it, but my life would not be altered by it. And it seemed odd that I could be happy and excited while they were gri... More About: Dental , Hospital , Tour , Accident , The A
Potty Talk
More articles from this author:2006-12-01 17:34:07 Sister is a very prissy girl. You may never come across a little girl more frilly, more poofy or more pink on the face of the planet. She loves dresses, jewels and tea parties. She is always kind to animals and prides herself on carrying her four-year-old self with grace and genteelity. Not only does she look the part of the perfectly prim princess, but she also has the sweet, bell-like voice to compliment the exterior.However, Sister has recently developed a rather interesting little quirk.She loves the word "poop".Now, instead of trying to find ways to work her new favorite word into conversations using the correct context, she just inserts it randomly wherever she sees fit. For instance, when I ask her if she would like turkey or ham on her sandwich, she replies, "Poop and cheese, please," and then dissolves into adorable belly laughs, obviously very proud of her clever take on words.At first, I reprimanded her, as any mother afraid of being embarrassed in public would do. "Siste... More About: Talk 1, 2, 3, 4 |
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