Mattress Police - The Secret Files Mattress Police - The Secret Files Observations on life from a finite space-time perspective. Now in a handy resealable pouch! 
Articles
Your Brain (for Dummies)
2008-04-07 15:31:00 Congratulations on your selection of the Cerebronix Diesel 1000 Carbon-Based Brain ! The Diesel 1000 is a state of the art cerebral engine that takes advantage of the latest in organic brain technology. We think you?ll be glad you chose the Diesel 1000. Note that the Diesel 1000 is a high performance machine designed for a wide range of abstract thinking purposes. We do not recommend the Diesel 1000 for casual brain users. If you plan to use your brain primarily for mundane tasks such as doing geometry homework and remembering dentist appointments, we recommend exchanging your Diesel 1000 for something from our PracticalBrain line. You may also be interested in our Cerebroutine module, which allows your brain to easily focus on repetitive activities for hours at a time. The Diesel 1000 is not designed for such tasks, and using it in this way may void your warranty. Features The Diesel 1000 is designed for abstract thinking. Your brain can be used for all sorts of ... More About: Dummies
Caption Contest: The Godfather
2008-04-04 17:21:00 Finding little inspiration in the current crop of movies and TV shows, I have once again gone back to the classics for the caption contest.You know the rules. Submit your captions in the comments. Mrs. Diesel and I will pick our favorites, and I'll post the top ten in a poll on Tuesday. Since I still have a few copies of my book lying around, I will give a free copy of Antisocial Commentary: From the Secret Files of the Mattress Police to the winner.Have fun!Listed on humor-blogs.com. More About: Movies , Contest , The Godfather , Caption
Tag at Your Peril!
2008-04-02 16:43:00 Hail, carrion-in-waiting!I am Grūndir the Implacable, Nazgūl and Meme-Wraith. I serve the dark lord Diesel in the capacity of dispatching troublesome memes from these premises.It has come to my attention that there has been some scurrilous talk since my last appearance on this blog. Rumor would have it that I have been 'sulking' in Diesel's barn, scrap-booking and listening to Foghat, afraid to show my face because of the lukewarm reception to my last post. Allow me to put these baseless lies to rest.Imagine, Grūndir the Implacable craving the affirmation of faceless blog readers! The notion is laughable. Mark this, blood-bags: Long after you have withered, fig-like in your graves, I will roam the land in my ceaseless quest to wipe memes and hobbits from the face of the earth.Yes, thousands of years from now the sages of a future age will pore over records of this era, tracing the origins of the great meme-slaughter, saying to one another, "Truly, Grūndir the Implacable was one b...
Morty, the Undead Lobster
2008-03-31 21:27:00 I'm still pretty busy with work, so all I can offer you today is this little anecdote from my youth. On the plus side, I think I've convinced Grundir to come out of hiding and fill in for me on Wednesday. I think he's up to something. Anyway, here's the story of Morty the undead lobster. Enjoy.For simple cheap entertainment, few activities can top messing with drunk people.I?ve never been a big drinker, and in college my smartass friends and I used to amuse ourselves by going to parties and talking over the heads of our inebriated fellows. I guess it made us feel superior, making fun of people to their faces without them realizing what we were doing. Kind of a stupid way to entertain yourself when it comes down to it, but at least you don?t end the evening puking in some stranger?s wastebasket.My all time favorite experience of garnering amusement at the expense of drunken partiers happened a few years back, when I went on a snorkeling trip with a college friend in Florida... More About: Lobster , Anecdotes
Congrats to Renal Failure!
2008-03-28 17:05:00 Renal Failure wins this week, taking home the coveted In Your Face award:Seriously, stop coveting it, people. It's in the Bible.R.F. also gets a copy of my book, Antisocial Commentary: From the Secret Files of the Mattress Police. R.F., send me an email with your address so's I can ship it to you.Newcomer Avitable came in second, with:Diesel slowly works up the nerve to ask for the number of the Boleyn Brother.And Jay took third, with:Diesel: "Wait... Let me try one more time. Spock makes this look so easy."Good job, people. Take the rest of the week off, starting at 5pm today.I'll be back on Monday with a brand new post that probably won't be good enough to make up for what a crappy job I've done this week.Humor-blogs.com is up to its chin in neck. More About: Movies
Pandora's Box
2008-03-26 21:38:00 As a compromise between listening to the same songs in my iTunes library over and over and hearing the Daughtry song of the moment sixteen times a day on the local radio station, lately I've been spending a lot of time on Pandora.Pandora is a sort of customizable radio station that plays songs based on your personal preferences. For example, I told it that I like My Chemical Romance and Pearl Jam, so it assumes that I also enjoy Green Day -- a completely understandable, and entirely erroneous assumption.You tell Pandora what you like with a simple thumbs up/thumbs down control, which isn't the most precise system. You can give a thumbs up to Def Leppard's "Armageddon It" and give a thumbs down to Bob Seger's "Old Time Rock and Roll," but there's no way to say, "Yeah, this Counting Crows song is ok, but I don't really need to hear any more in the next 3 hours."The other problem is that Pandora only allows you to skip so many songs. That means you have to use your skips wisel... More About: Music
Vote!
2008-03-26 00:15:00 If I keep posting later and later in the day, eventually I'll be posting really early the next day, so you have that to look forward to.The picture kind of sucked this week too. Usually I do the picture the day before, so that I can look at it fresh before posting it. That gives me a chance to catch things that don't look quite right, like my complete lack of a neck. I was too rushed to do it right this time, but hey, that gave you one more thing to make fun of me for.Mrs. Diesel picked the finalists this week, so at least you can't blame me for that.And remember, this week the winner gets a copy of my book, Antisocial Commentary, just for funsies. So that should make up for me being such a lame-ass, right? Right.Vote for your favorite below. I'll post the winner on Friday.Fold My Laundry Please said...Diesel laments the fact that Natalie could not afford to have shoulders sewn onher dress.renalfailure said...Diesel caresses that which he has always desired: an actual neck... More About: Movies
This Should Only Take a Minute
2008-03-25 06:11:00 So I'm nearing a major deadline at work, and I can tell my boss is concerned that I'm going to be stressed out and working long hours this week. We were talking about another upcoming project, and I mentioned that I thought I would be able to handle it on top of what I already had scheduled. She kind of laughed, and I said, "Yeah, I have no sense of my own limitations.""Not when it comes to time estimates," she said.It's true, I don't. Everything takes more time than I expect it to. It's a weird sort of cognitive deficiency I have.It doesn't seem to help that I'm aware of the problem either. Even when I try to account for my unrealistic expectations by inflating my time estimate, the actual time still ends up being double what I estimated.One of the ramifications of this failing is that I tend to take on way too many projects at a time. Right now, for example, in addition to maintaining this blog, Humor-Blogs.com and my job, I'm building a house, writing a novel and wo... More About: Minute
Caption Contest: The Other Boleyn Girl
2008-03-21 23:00:00 I finally settled on The Other Boleyn Girl for this week's caption contest. Sorry for taking so long; my car continues to make my life interesting.I haven't seen the movie, but I thought this made a pretty good picture.A little twist this week, to keep things interesting: I'm going to give the winner a copy of my book, Antisocial Commentary: From the Secret Files of the Mattress Police. If the person who wins already has a copy, I'll come up with something else. Maybe a plastic bag of dryer lint.Submit your captions in the comments. Mrs. Diesel and I will pick our favorites and I'll post the top ten in a poll on Tuesday. Have fun, and good luck!Listed on humor-blogs.com. More About: Movies , Contest , The Other Boleyn Girl
Worst Boss Ever
2008-03-21 00:12:00 Sorry for the delay in posting today; it's been another crazy day. I promised you the story of the worst boss I've ever had, so here it is. I'll warn you that it's a little long, and not so much funny as sad. There's no happy ending, except for the fact that I don't work for the ass-hat any more. Unfortunately, people don't always get what they deserve. Sometimes you just have to be content with the knowledge that stupidity is its own punishment.In September of 2002, I took a job as the webmaster for the government of a nearby city. My boss, the head of the city?s IT department, was a pony-tailed, marginally competent sad-sack, the kind of guy who spent his life trying to live up to his memories of Woodstock, even though he was only in 3rd grade at the time. Stoner, as I?ll call him, was the worst boss I?ve ever had. The day I started, I set out (with Stoner?s blessing) to radically revamp the city?s website. I met with various city managers and other key emplo... More About: Work , Boss , Jerks
Alternating Between Love and Hate
2008-03-19 18:58:00 Sorry about yesterday's little rant. I don?t think Grūndir realized that many of you are newer readers, and therefore are not familiar with his terrifying visage. For those who don?t know, Grūndir the Implacable is one of the nine Nazgūl, or ring-wraiths, who once served the dark lord Sauron. Grūndir fell on hard times after Sauron?s fall, taking on various odd jobs until eventually being hired by the Mattress Police to dispatch troublesome memes that I don?t feel like dealing with. He?s also good at rooting out the gophers and hobbits that continuously tear up my lawn.(See, so now that I?ve explained it, it?s really quite funny, isn?t it? I mean, scrap-booking? Come on!)And if dealing with the inconsolable Grūndir wasn?t enough, I woke up this morning feeling as if I were in a thick fog. I think it?s because of the translucent plastic sheets that the painters put over the windows yesterday. Still, it?s kind of creepy. I feel like I?m on the wrong side of a Camus novel.On ... More About: Love , Driving , Work , Hate
First Cursed to Roam the Earth as a Wraith, and Now This?
2008-03-18 23:53:00 Eleven comments? Really?You know, Grundir's mental state was fragile enough when all he had to worry about was coping with an eternal living death and learning the ins and outs of scrap-booking. He makes the effort to do a solid post, taking on two very fierce-looking memes, baring his soul in the process, and you reward him with a meager eleven comments?How do you think it makes Grundir feel, knowing that my post about giving people the finger got nearly three times as many comments as he did? Dispatching memes has always been a nice outlet for him, but now I'll be lucky if I can get him to come back next week to finish off the rest of them. He's been sulking in the barn since last night. He thinks you're all laughing at him about the Angela's Ashes thing. I'm telling you, he puts on a bold front, but deep down he's a sensitive soul.I even promised to scalp a hobbit for him (relax, we bludgeon them first), but so far he hasn't shown any interest. It's just not like... More About: Earth , Roam , Wraith
Gather Your Memes and Hobbits About You!
2008-03-17 19:46:00 It seems as if every time I darken this blog with my ominous visage, I must first apologize for my long absence. So once again, flesh-bags, I must express my regret that I could not enlighten and terrify you sooner.Frankly, I grow a bit weary of being employed to kill gophers and the occasional errant hobbit at the Diesel estate, only occasionally being called upon to dispatch a troublesome meme or two. I have over 900 years of slaying experience! Could I not find a more meaningful gig?True, I have done the occasional guest column over at the Clay Pigeon humor magazine, but even that does not come close to filling the insatiable gnawing pit of blackness that is my soul. I am considering taking up scrap-booking. I've already got one of those neat scissors that cuts the jagged lines, as you could probably guess from my cloak. What other supplies do I need? Glue? What else?Ah, but I have forgotten why my master summoned me. It seems that the memes have been springing up aroun... More About: Memes , Gather
Iron Man Caption Contest Winners
2008-03-14 20:17:00 In a truly historic turn of events, Brad won the contest two times in a row, for a total of three wins! I even had to make a special banner for him:In second place was newcomer Jenny, Bloggess, with:The vasectomy was difficult but a success. There would be no more toaster-related paternity suits in Iron Man 's future.And Barry took third with:"Hey c'mon Diesel! You said it was just going to be a bit of spanking and back to the script! Hey! Can you hear me? Look I'm using the safety word! Spaghetti!! Spaghetti!!"I also have to give a special nod to three contestants for Most Obscure Mattress Police Reference. If you get all three of these references, you definitely need to get out more:carolinebender:"Frankly, building lawn mowers sounds like a pain in the ass, so how about if I spend an extra three weeks and build a machine that builds lawn mowers?"stushie:Sadly, Diesel forgot the fatal difference between building a cyborg, instead of an android.Deb on the Rocks:Tentacle porn so... More About: Movies , Contest , Winners
Hey, Thanks!
2008-03-14 05:36:00 Just a quick post to say 2 things:1. To the guy who was honking at me as I was pushing my car up the overpass in Milpitas today: What were you trying to communicate exactly? That I was in the "no pushing lane"? That I wasn't pushing as hard as you thought I should? See, what you probably didn't realize is that I didn't plan on pushing my car up the hill. It was actually running on its own power for most of the way, and then it stopped rather unexpectedly. I was really only pushing it because it didn't seem to want to go any further by itself. You could probably see that I wasn't even wearing my pushing shoes. It was all a rather ad hoc, impromptu affair. So I appreciate you informing me, with repeated taps on your horn, that I wasn't following the proper protocol, but trust me, I was well aware of the awkwardness of the situation. Sometimes things happen that we don't plan. For instance, you probably didn't plan on growing up to be a raging asshole, but there it i...
You're Number One!
2008-03-12 18:12:00 I was thinking about hand signs today.There are only about seven hand signs that are universally recognized in Western culture, and I find it interesting that one of these is the sign for "F--- you." At least, I think that's what it means. I don't have a translation chart or anything, but in my experience they seem to evoke the same response. Evidently our need to express the sentiment "F--- you" is right up there with "hello" and "OK."How did that happen exactly? Was there a meeting where cavemen got together and hashed out the half dozen must-have hand signs? Grog: Ok guys, there's been a lot of confusion about the hand signals we've been using. Just last week Thag misinterpreted a 'stop' signal and got eaten by a sabretooth. We really need to standardize. So what signs do we need? I mean, besides 'stop.' Ook: Well, we've got to have a 'hello' sign. You know, like a greeting.Lurg: Yeah, we could use this. (waves) Grog: Brilliant! Ok, what else do we need? Ook:... More About: Number
Vote!
2008-03-11 16:38:00 Man, it's getting tough to pick the finalists for these. I did my best. Vote for your favorite below. And don't forget to check out the Clay Pigeon humor magazine when you're done.Brad said...Factoring in parts and labor, this was going to be the most expensive date Diesel had ever had.Barry said..."Hey c'mon Diesel! You said it was just going to be a bit of spanking and back to the script! Hey! Can you hear me? Look I'm using the safety word! Spaghetti!! Spaghetti!!"ArmadilloTrader said..."Diesel, I don't want to be lonely. Don't forget to make 'Iron Dog' when you're done."Joel Bezaire said...Dude, why are your hands always so damn cold?!?.45 said..."I think I'll give him a little something extra to satisfy the Iron Maiden."stushie said...Diesel realized he had drunk one too many when he was caught trying to milk Iron Man.Jay said..."Dang it! I never can remember which metric tools correspond with with standard tools. Curse me for buying a foreign car!"Theresa said...... More About: Superheroes
Harry Potter and the Comments of Retardedness
2008-03-10 18:32:00 One of my most popular posts ever is Harry Potter and the Inevitable Slide into Satanism. It even made it into my book. The point of the post was to make fun of close-minded people who won't let their kids read Harry Potter books. I wrote: Now that I'm a parent, I've realized the necessity of keeping certain books, movies and music away from my children. I don't like the idea of censorship, but no matter how much my kids beg they are not going to be allowed to listen to "Fergilicious" or read Eragon. I'm sorry, but I believe the children are our future.Neither of my children (aged 5 and 7) have come home toting a Black Sabbath record yet, so I've dodged that bullet so far. But in anticipation of my seven-year-old bookworm eventually asking whether he may read Harry Potter and the Nominative Phrase, I decided to peruse one of these books to determine for myself whether there was any real danger.I then expressed my shock and outrage at "finding" this signup form in the book ... More About: Books , Blogging , Comments
Caption Contest: Iron Man!
2008-03-07 20:26:00 In case you're new around here, that's me fiddling around with Iron Man 's torso. Submit your captions in the comments. I'll post the best ones in a poll on Tuesday.Have fun and have a super weekend.Listed on humor-blogs.com. More About: Movies , Contest , Superheroes
American Ingenuity
2008-03-06 20:42:00 So I guess they killed off Captain America. Like, um, a year ago.I'm a little late on this, because I haven't read comics for a while, and I never really did follow Captain America. I like the idea of Captain America, but he always seemed like a dull character to me. First, there's his secret identity: Steve Rogers. I mean, come on. Steve Rogers? What, was the name Jim Blandguy taken?Captain America's origin isn't exactly inspiring either: As a young man, Steve volunteers to serve in the military during World War II, but is turned down because he is too weak and sickly. He is offered the opportunity to become a subject in a "super soldier" project. A prior subject has already been driven insane by the "super soldier" serum, but Steve lucks out: The serum greatly enhances his strength and reflexes, transforming him into a "nearly perfect human being." He is given the name Captain America, and sent off to fight the Nazis.So, to recap, our plan for defeating the Nazis was to condu... More About: American , Superheroes
Humor Me
2008-03-05 19:04:00 You may not be aware of this, but in addition to this site I also run a blog directory called Humor -Blogs.com. (I know, you're probably wondering what other secrets I've been keeping from you. Like maybe I've written a book, or I've been editing an online humor magazine.)Shortly after I started this blog, I began looking for ways to promote it. One way that a lot of people recommended was to get listed with a blog directory, like BlogTopList or TopBlogging. So I submitted my site to a bunch of directories, hoping for a small boost in traffic. What I got was basically nothing. I mean, I might get one visit a week from each of these sites. I even tried putting their banners near the top of my template and writing posts encouraging my readers to click on them so that I'd move up in the rankings. And I did move up slightly, for a short time, which resulted in me getting maybe 2 visits a week.Presumably these sites are helping someone, but it's not me. And it irked me that...
Hey, It's a Nickel!
2008-03-04 18:49:00 Hey, it?s a nickel!Funny how excited I get about finding a nickel on the ground. What am I going to buy with a nickel? A gumball? I?ll just leave it for some ten-year-old kid to pick up. Someone who will appreciate it.Nickel s are hardly even worth picking up any more. A nickel! What a joke. A cup of coffee is three bucks these days. That?s, geez, sixty nickels. Can you imagine handing the cashier ? sorry, barista ? at Starbucks sixty nickels? I?m sure he?d take them, but as soon as you pulled away from the drive-through he?d be all, ?Hey, Kyle, can you believe Mr. Jingly-Pants, giving me sixty nickels? Next time go to 7-11 and get some Twizzlers too, Jingly-Pants. Maybe catch up on Bazooka Joe while you?re at it. Freaking loser.?Why am I obsessing about this? I?m sure the kids at Starbucks have better things to talk about. Besides, last time I ordered a venti caramel frappuccino and paid for it with my gold card. I bet they don?t have gold cards. Stupid college kids... More About: Fiction , Nonsense
The CP Looming Recession Issue!
2008-03-03 16:20:00 Have you seen the new issue of the phenomenally popular online humor magazine, The Clay Pigeon? (Seriously, despite the fact that hardly anybody leaves comments on the articles, it's doing quite well.) With tough economic times ahead, the CP is doing its part to spread gloom and unease with a special Looming Recession issue.As CP Publisher Rusty Gibbons puts it:?This is no time for joking around, Clay. The economy is in real trouble. I think our readers need to hear about the fragile state of free trade in this world. Did you know that 63% of Americans are now against NAMBLA??Read the rest of Rusty's pontification here.And be sure to check out our exclusive transcript of Britney Spears' recent address to the American Coal Foundation, our shocking report on Smiley Inflation and the CP interview with Donald Trump's hair. Plus a brand new See Mike Draw and Crummy Church Sign of the Week, and much, much more.If you all go check out the Clay Pigeon and click on the Subscribe to t... More About: Issue
Oscar Caption Contest Winners
2008-02-29 20:05:00 Brad won handily this week, with a caption that was about neither farting nor something being in someone's pocket. Let that be a lesson to the rest of you.Brad, you may proudly display the coveted In Your Face award:VE came in second with:Spielberg: "I don't know who he is either. I thought he was one of those Coen Brothers..."And in third was y not i, whose contribution was:A near perfect hand: Four kings and a joker.Congratulations to the winners. Be sure to come back Monday, when we'll have a special visit from Clay Pigeon publisher and jet-setting bigwig Rusty Gibbons.Thanks to everybody who's been clicking on the Humor-Blogs.com links. I'm back in second place! And really, who deserves it more than me? Keep clicking!One more thing: I'm planning another edition of What's the Difference in the near future, so if there are any similar terms or concepts that you are confused about, let me know and I'll clear everything up like I did last time.I'd like to thank Hum... More About: Movies , Contest , Oscar , Winners , Caption
Thursday Shout-Out
2008-02-28 23:40:00 Wow, it's been a while since I've done one of these. Been busy editing magazines and whatnot.Remember the good old days when Humor-Blogs.com was a big happy family, with me sitting on top of that family like a big friendly uncle who smelled like pipe tobacco and beef? Well, those days are over. After several days of pleading with y'all to click the Humor-Blogs.com link (Please! It'll only take a second!), I have clawed my way up to a measly fourth place in the rankings.*One of the reasons for my fall is Kadi Prescott, who is currently lording it over me in third. What does Kadi have that I don't? Well, first of all she's like 17 times better looking than I am. Second, she's going to be a big TV star.Yes, our very own Kadi is going to be on ABC's Supernanny.Kadi stars as a mild mannered steel worker and exotic dancer who transforms into Supernanny when she is bitten by a radioactive Julie Andrews impersonator. In addition to being able to see 426 different shades of g... More About: Thursday , Shout
I Think My Cat May Be on Drugs
2008-02-27 16:21:00 That's not an expression, like "What has gotten into that cat? It's acting like it's on drugs." I mean, it started out that way, but at this point I seriously think my cat may be abusing a controlled substance. I don't really know how to find out for sure; they don't make public service announcements for this sort of thing.It started a few days ago, when our normally sedate cat started darting from one end of the living room to the other for no apparent reason. Then she would meow plaintively, as if she needed food or wanted to go outside, but if you followed her to where she seemed to want to go, she would just stop at some arbitrary location and look up at you quizzically, as if to say, "Where to, chief?""What is up with Molly?" I would say to Mrs. Diesel. "She's acting like she's on crack." We've had this stupid cat for 11 years now, and she had never acted like this. We weren't exactly worried, but it is a little disconcerting to see an animal experiencing a sudd... More About: Family , Drugs , Anecdotes
Happy Birthday and Get Well Soon!
2008-02-26 17:01:00 It's the happiest, saddest and most inappropriate day of the year! Yes, Inappropriate Card Day is finally here!Celebrate by giving an inappropriate card to someone you recognize! Or don't!----------------------------------- --The competition in the caption contest was fierce this week.I finally narrowed it down to these ten:Brad: "Most of all, I'd like to thank our optometrists..."Mark Jabo: Nominated for Best Picture and, in the lesser known category of Best Mattress Police Caption... "No Country For Old Men"ArmadilloTrader: Out of nowhere, Diesel gets a brilliant idea for his sure-fire Oscar winning movie : "Raging Apocalypse Temple of Doom Wars"renalfailure: And the Oscar for Worst Combined Eyesight goes to...kev: Unable to fight the urge any longer, Diesel decides to give in to temptation and feast on Martin Scorsese's delicious brain..45: The Hair Club for Men delighted this year in bestowing its coveted Golden Baldie award on a shocked and tearful Britney Spears.stushie:... More About: Happy , Birthday , Happy Birthday
It's Inappropriate Card Day Eve!
2008-02-25 17:00:00 Tomorrow is Inappropriate Card Day! I know, it really sneaks up on you, doesn't it? In case you're somehow unaware of this phenomenon that is now so popular that even when I search my own website for "Inappropriate Card," Google suggests that maybe did I mean "Inappropriate care"? I mean, come on. "Inappropriate care"? Who is searching for that? What does that even mean? "Sorry, Bill. I killed your ficus while you were on vacation. I think I may have given it inappropriate care."Whatever. Anyway, in case you're somehow unaware of this phenomenon that is sweeping the nation like baby fish mouth*, here's the deal:February 26 is Inappropriate Card Day. You celebrate ICD by -- surprise! -- exchanging inappropriate cards. There are no rules. Well, except for the fact that the card has to be completely inappropriate -- and not risque inappropriate; that's too easy. It has to be a card that would be perfectly appropriate for someone other than the recipient, preferably on ...
Caption Contest: The Oscars!
2008-02-22 19:17:00 Yes, it's that time of year again, I guess. I can't stand the Academy Awards. What a load of pretentious crap. But hey, that's no reason for me not to capitalize on the popularity of the Oscars for my own purposes.In case you're new here, that's me rubbing shoulders with Frank Coppola, Marty Scorsese and a couple other blokes. Submit your captions in the comments. I'll post the top 10 on Tuesday. And I'll be back on Monday with a brand new post -- not to mention the second brilliant issue of the Clay Pigeon. Have a pleasant weekend.Listed on humor-blogs.com. More About: Contest , Caption
Sarcasm, Harry Potter and Satanism, Oh My!
More articles from this author:2008-02-22 01:41:00 Bear with me while I conduct a little experiment.I've noticed that the traffic on this site has taken a significant drop over the past week or so. Analyzing my stats, I see that I'm not getting nearly as many hits from Google image search any more. This isn't necessarily a bad thing; what I'm interested in is readers, not people looking for Britney Spears pics (and yes, in answer to yesterday's questions, I did actually post one picture of Britney before yesterday -- in my Britney/Paris Hilton caption contest).Anyway, this discovery prompted me to do some experimenting with Google image search, and sure enough, I'm no longer the world's leading authority on sarcasm. If you look hard enough, you can find my sarcasm motivational poster, but on someone else's site. What's up with that?Same thing with "Harry Potter Satanism ." My "Satanism for Dummies" book cover pops up, but on someone else's site.And the form that I tore out of the back of a Harry Potter book to request ... More About: Books , Sarcasm 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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