the notorious J-O-E-the notorious J-O-E-laugh with me. or laugh at me. it's like steel magnolias - if you have nothing nice to me, come sit next to me Articles
big fat lie
2007-10-18 04:24:00 i saw this article online i felt something gurgling in my throat.....After the scales tipped decidedly out of her favor this year, Oprah Winfrey sought answers and found out that her thyroid gland had declared war on the rest of her body.then i realized i was suppressing a loud guffaw and a huge scream. and then it came out:BULLSHIT !!!!!!- joe to hell, 2007 http://joetohell.blogspot.com
i can't help myself
2007-10-18 01:16:00 i have said before how i love pete burns, he of 80s pop fame. i have taken it on myself to find everything i can on the web, because i truly think he is a master of comedy. take this clip for instance.....it's from a BBC show called "diners" where famous people go out to dinner or something like that....but the reason i felt compelled to post it is not to share my pete fascination. it's because he does THE BEST CHER IMPERSONATIONS I HAVE EVER HEARD - look for them at 1:30 and again at 5:34as well, pete asks some serious questions for the ages.... like, "do you think joan collins gets fucked"- joe to hell, 2007 http://joetohell.blogspot.com
random items
2007-10-17 03:07:00 remember this game? it's time again....it's really a good thing that i like to shop online....because i find tons of shit. this time, i am selecting three random items from this exciting e-retailer:remember the game rules: find a tacky website that sells stuff, and pick three items at random....things that you would never want to be caught dead having anything to do with. you know, things you can't believe anyone would want to buy.this website was just exploding with wrongness. here goes:PULSABATH: sponge meets vibratorwell, some people like to get clean AND get offCHARCOCAPS: cures smelly farts.i guess the product is smart, but that they say "cure smelly farts" is just bad for business.and the absolute most brilliant of all....... LIQUID VIRGIN DROPS, apparently "as seen in cartoons".- joe to hell, 2007 http://joetohell.blogspot.com More About: Random , Items
it was a sign!!!!
2007-10-15 17:54:00 i was destined to be a homosexual - it was written in the stars.....tell you why in a second.i believe you can tell alot about someone by what was the number one song when they were born. it's a dumb science that i made up and subscribe to....so what. i think everyone should know what the most popular song was, to give them a sense of the climate into which they were sprang forth.for the canadians, this may not apply to you, but what the hell. if you go here, you can find out what was in the "pole" position in the US, the UK and australia on any given day.now - why was i destined to be a loudass homo? well, the number one in australia was by olivia newton-john. no big deal, but cute. but here in the land of my birth, this song (play video to see) was the number one jam. i can't believe fate. oh - put your song in comments.- joe to hell, 2007 http://joetohell.blogspot.com More About: Sign
i am way too fat
2007-10-14 18:25:00 seriously, i am shocked at the taste level of my readers!so far terry schiavo as my halloween costume is taking a strong lead! i am shocked! no, i am not shocked that you are all as tasteless as me - i am shocked that equally tasteless anna nicole's dead body isn't doing better. picture a blue face, leaky implants, bottles of trim spa glued to my body, breastfeeding a doll named dannilynn.....terry was a trailblazer, and should be honored. i don't know if i am the guy for it. but seriously, i am not nearly skinny enough to pull off mrs. schiavo. i am a full figured gal....and therefore i am surprised that i didn't get any rosie votes.there's still time - keep the votes comin'. i'm going straight to hell- joe to hell, 2007 http://joetohell.blogspot.com
it is not fair!!!!!
2007-10-13 03:57:00 why is ALL the good stuff in the UK?????? there is a new show featuring pete burns (of deador alive), who i kick the biggest kick out of. he is a trainwreck, a lunatic, a madman and fascinating as all hell. so what if he looks like faye dunaway!from the UK network's website: PETE BURNS' P.A.: Don't miss this rip-roaring elimination contest that puts 10 wannabe Personal Assistants through their paces, as they fight it out to be Pete Burns right hand man or woman. They need all the skills of a celebrity PA, the organisation, calmness, media savvy, discretion and communication skills. But they also have to able to deal with Pete Burns the person. Caustic putdowns, whimsical demands, outrageous blagging and an ability to be unshocked by absolutely everything Pete's crazy world throws at them, whether that's emergency botox, a tantrum over the loss of his make-up bag or a crazed fan jumping over the fence at 6am. thank jesus i was able to find some clips online!!!! here's pe... More About: Fair
today's inspiration is....
2007-10-12 22:37:00 THESE FAT BITCHES FROM CHINA !!!!!they are called Qian Jin Zu He and they are a pop music group. well, to be correct, they "rap" about being fat. their current hit is "so what if i am fat?". they are an inspiration because they are bold!!!! in a nation of twiggies, they are the full tree trunks. good for them. The main chick is 375 pounds, and the rest hover under 300. like me.i don't know if their name means anything, but if i had to guess, i would guess it means "ladies who just can't say no to fried rice" - loosely translated, of course.reminds me of a horrible racist joke from my youth (oh god don't get mad....)Q: what do you call a fat chinese person?A: a chunksee - bad, i know. i didn't make it up. and i also didn't think there were any fat chinese people! now we got these songstresses tearing up the charts. the ladies were featured in today's washington post....read it here.once again, our inspiration is from china, the land of many females. i TRULY hope tha... More About: Inspiration
and the finalists are....
2007-10-12 04:02:00 i rarely do anything for halloween. this year i will be away in a place that encourages freakiness. so, what's a guy to do....i have narrowed down my options to those you see in the poll on the right. please - i need some help here. i make a realllllllly ugly woman, so i have selected ugly ladies (oh - and posh)! uh, no: men are not an option.please vote, and vote often. as many times as you want. i need help. time is tickin' bitches.PS - just so you know my taste level, my best ever halloween costume was PRINCESS DIE. yes, die. busted tiara, broken steering wheel around my neck, lots of blood....i'm beyond help- joe to hell, 2007 http://joetohell.blogspot.com More About: Finalists
um...
2007-10-12 03:00:00 anyone need some coochy cream?- joe to hell, 2007 http://joetohell.blogspot.com
attention lesbians: you will not like this
2007-10-12 00:33:00 ....but too bad. this just needs to be saidif you are going out for a night on the town with madonna, aka the headmistress aka the queen of pop aka the high priestess of all that is fabulous, you better know what to do!!! like her or not, she is one hell of a fashion plate (whatever that term really means), and always gives it up when she is stepping out on the town. she always looks chic (unless it is the the oft-photographed track suits of the morning workout kind), wears super fab and expensive clothes, and is guaranteed to be photographed. so, if you are making plans with her, make sure you do a few things:take a showerdo not wear boots with 3/4 length pantsmaybe cover your blotchy skindress like your gendertry not to look like her bodyguarddo not dress like a plumberdrain the oil from your hairapparently, rosie o'dykell did NOT get my memo. what in the fuck does she think she is doing? lady(sir), step up your game, look like a lady for once (you were an actress once........ More About: Lesbians , Attention , Tent
jewgrass????
2007-10-12 00:21:00 absolutely bizarre. how do things like this happen? who fell asleep on the stopwatch upstairs? i just know a recording of me taking a violent poo could sell better......remember mare winningham, from st elmo's fire and other bad 80's movies (she was always soooo bland to me, like a poor man's mary stuart masterson or some other pasty type)....she is now a singerand converted to judaismand makes country music - for real.country music about jewish life.just look at the song titles....the girl with the peanut butter and jelly sandwich and grandma panties singing a song called "oh moses" - i can't take it. i copped the titles from amazon.....- joe to hell, 2007 http://joetohell.blogspot.com
a whole new order
2007-10-11 06:22:00 one of my top 10 favorite bands of all time is new order. and one of my favorite things to collect are mashups. so, how many songs can be mashed up with the classic hit "blue monday" ??????here, a handful of songs mashed with "blue monday" - they are all so good in their own ways. download in your own special way.....vs RIHANNA / "shut up and drive"vs MADONNA / "frozen"vs MADONNA / "hung up"vs M*I*A* / "bucky done gun"vs KYLIE MINOGUE / "can't get you outta my head"vs MICHAEL & JANET JACKSON / "scream"- joe to hell, 2007 http://joetohell.blogspot.com More About: New Order , Order
couturoscopes?
2007-10-10 23:41:00 i loved this....probably because mine was dead on. god i love horoscopes!!!! these are the crucial fall fashion horoscopes. very important stuff! at the end, post a comment and let me know what sign you are and if you agree:AriesRams are the quintessential fashion pioneers, which means you're not afraid to experiment with interesting styles, colors, and fabrics. This Fall, you're sure to be a fashion original, strutting your stuff for all the world to see. For color, go with bold animal prints in black on red, and for fabric, anything with an outrageous touchable texture gets your nod of approval. TaurusNot one to fall for silly trends, you're much more comfortable donning the classics. Whoever your favorite designer is (Calvin Klein, Donna Karan or Roberto Cavalli are probably in the ranks), your luxurious side lets you splurge on the most expensive piece in their collection while your budget-minded sensibility helps you take one classic piece and dress it up in as many diffe... More About: Cope
4 hearts
2007-10-10 14:32:00 the internet is abuzz with the release of a new kylie single. it's a cover, actually. well, less a cover and more of her just taking it before the original, by brit electro band kish mauve was released. i like the jam - yes i do.but i like the original better! all she did was replace the vocal.kylie - 2 heartskish mauve - 2 heartsmiss minogue is way too sweet to sound all achy-horny. listen, don't say i am bashing.....* thanks modfab for the kylie link- joe to hell, 2007 http://joetohell.blogspot.com More About: Hearts
i'd rather not know AKA a test, part 2
2007-10-10 01:11:00 apparently, i am birthing features... we had the favorites game, the inspiration of the day, random items and now this one returns. many were repulsed at the last round of this game, but now we know what "jelly babies" are. and we somehow managed to survive. but it's time for a new one. the only rule is that you cannot look this up on the dirty web. here goes:take your best guesses as to what a VIENNA HOT PLATE is.......hint: it has nothing to do with college students cooking dinner and nothing to do with little sausages, and it can happen anywhere outside austria.and its pretty vile.- joe to hell, 2007 http://joetohell.blogspot.com More About: Part , Test
a stiff one please
2007-10-09 20:02:00 i kinda liked this. enough to share. dick talk below:thanks for the tipoff to this guy- joe to hell, 2007 http://joetohell.blogspot.com
NAKED PICS OF ME!!!!
2007-10-09 19:30:00 yeah, i am greedyapparently you can still vote for me - say you like the blog.if you all vote for me, and i win a prize, i promise to post nude pics of myself.so get voting..... pleeeeease. i never win shit....woe is me- joe to hell, 2007 http://joetohell.blogspot.com
dress you up in my love
More articles from this author:2007-10-09 15:21:00 i'm obsessed with this game, where you can dress madonna in her various outfits. here are a few of what came up with over coffee this AM:IN ORDER:american pie madonnafrozen madonna - gotta love the bird.....express yourself madonnaray of light madonnavogue madonnaps - hey clever fool, they ain't got no kylie doll.....guess you can't put a midget in doll clothes and call it a game.- joe to hell, 2007 http://joetohell.blogspot.com More About: Love , Dress 1, 2, 3 |
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