Moo-DogMoo-DogA cow that barks and a dog that says moo! Wit, wisdom and witterings of a 30-something guy in Dublin... Articles
The accidental Santa
2007-12-15 01:04:00 And then there was the time the local priest got me drunk and convinced me I was Santa Claus. I'm not messing you know. I think I was about 19 at the time and coming close to Christmas, I came back down to Cavan from college for the weekend. I passed the community hall on my way down town to the pub on the Friday night and noticed the local priest struggling to take boxes of toys from the boot
The accidental Santa
2007-12-15 01:04:00 And then there was the time the local priest got me drunk and convinced me I was Santa Claus. I'm not messing you know. I think I was about 19 at the time and coming close to Christmas, I came back down to Cavan from college for the weekend. I passed the community hall on my way down town to the pub on the Friday night and noticed the local priest struggling to take boxes of toys from the boot
I'm alive
2007-12-13 18:30:00 I feel so guilty when I look down the list of recent visitors to the blog and realise that it's at least seven or eight Irish cocaine-related deaths since I last posted. Michael Caine has been getting the Ireland job for at least a week or more at this stage and that can't be healthy. Anyway, I just want to assure you all that I am still alive and haven't fallen prey to the curse of Charlie More About: Alive
I'm alive
2007-12-13 18:30:00 I feel so guilty when I look down the list of recent visitors to the blog and realise that it's at least seven or eight Irish cocaine-related deaths since I last posted. Michael Caine has been getting the Ireland job for at least a week or more at this stage and that can't be healthy. Anyway, I just want to assure you all that I am still alive and haven't fallen prey to the curse of Charlie More About: Alive
Micky White for Ireland job!
2007-12-04 23:20:00 Moo-Dog can exclusively reveal that accomplished actor Michael Caine has become the latest to "throw his hat in the ring" for the position of Republic of Ireland football manager. The Merrion Square office of the FAI is now entirely concealed under a mountain of trilbies, bowler hats, peak caps, berets and the funny little Islamic one belonging to Philippe Troussier. Caine's hat is right on top More About: White , Icky
Micky White for Ireland job!
2007-12-04 23:20:00 Moo-Dog can exclusively reveal that accomplished actor Michael Caine has become the latest to "throw his hat in the ring" for the position of Republic of Ireland football manager. The Merrion Square office of the FAI is now entirely concealed under a mountain of trilbies, bowler hats, peak caps, berets and the funny little Islamic one belonging to Philippe Troussier. Caine's hat is right on top More About: White
Underpants
2007-12-03 22:33:00 I drove to Limerick and back there on Sunday and it was when I stopped for a pee in Borris-in-Ossory that I got to thinking about underpants. I was hoisting up my undergarments and I epiphanised about how, in many ways, the phases of my life have neatly coincided with the evolution of my choice of undies as I aged. I first remember wanting to wear underpants like my Dad when I was a kid. Like
Underpants
2007-12-03 22:33:00 I drove to Limerick and back there on Sunday and it was when I stopped for a pee in Borris-in-Ossory that I got to thinking about underpants. I was hoisting up my undergarments and I epiphanised about how, in many ways, the phases of my life have neatly coincided with the evolution of my choice of undies as I aged. I first remember wanting to wear underpants like my Dad when I was a kid. Like
I'm all over the shop
2007-12-01 00:20:00 I must apologise to my clamouring army of four readers for my hit and miss posting of late. I have contracted a dose of 'irregular bloggage' (from the latin ad ideas absentia) - which sounds like something a good dose of Bran Flakes would solve but alas, no, it's not that easy. Pesky fripperies like work and other annoyances like sleeping and rudimentary personal hygiene demands have left me More About: Shop
I'm all over the shop
2007-12-01 00:20:00 I must apologise to my clamouring army of four readers for my hit and miss posting of late. I have contracted a dose of 'irregular bloggage' (from the latin ad ideas absentia) - which sounds like something a good dose of Bran Flakes would solve but alas, no, it's not that easy. Pesky fripperies like work and other annoyances like sleeping and rudimentary personal hygiene demands have left me More About: Shop
Cavan Cola!
2007-11-29 20:32:00 West Cavan's representative literate person over at Cavantucky cheered me up no end today when I went there and discovered that a campaign has started to get Cavan Cola back on the market. As the saying goes, I was reared on Cavan Cola. Most people say that sort of thing in jest or as a figure of speech but no, I really was reared on it as there was never a drop of milk in the house and my
Cavan Cola!
2007-11-29 20:32:00 West Cavan's representative literate person over at Cavantucky cheered me up no end today when I went there and discovered that a campaign has started to get Cavan Cola back on the market. As the saying goes, I was reared on Cavan Cola. Most people say that sort of thing in jest or as a figure of speech but no, I really was reared on it as there was never a drop of milk in the house and my
Swing the mood
2007-11-27 21:49:00 I've just read back through some of my recent posts and have come to the conclusion that I'm a right crabby old shite and badly need to lighten the mood in here. It's all well and good to vent and rant about things, but in a neat turning of the tables, today's post is about things I actually like. It took me quite a while (and therefore the post is late), but I came up with the following things More About: Swing , Mood
Swing the mood
2007-11-27 21:49:00 I've just read back through some of my recent posts and have come to the conclusion that I'm a right crabby old shite and badly need to lighten the mood in here. It's all well and good to vent and rant about things, but in a neat turning of the tables, today's post is about things I actually like. It took me quite a while (and therefore the post is late), but I came up with the following things More About: Swing , Mood
A dong for Ireland?
2007-11-26 13:35:00 Wait till you hear this. Mispronounced song lyrics now have the power to change the outcome of important soccer matches. I was arseing around on the internet (do you spell arseing with an 'e' or without?) and read about a gaffe made at the recent England v Croatia international game. Apparently, the poor man hired to sing the Croatian national anthem had some difficulty with the complexities of More About: Ireland , Dong
A dong for Ireland?
2007-11-26 13:35:00 Wait till you hear this. Mispronounced song lyrics now have the power to change the outcome of important soccer matches. I was arseing around on the internet (do you spell arseing with an 'e' or without?) and read about a gaffe made at the recent England v Croatia international game. Apparently, the poor man hired to sing the Croatian national anthem had some difficulty with the complexities of More About: Ireland , Dong
I'm going to be sick
2007-11-23 14:06:00 If there's one reason not to like Christmas it's because it encourages clowns and idiots to foist dreadful songs on us in the hope of taking the coveted yuletide No.1 spot. The latter years of Cliff Richard's career, for instance, were spent holed up in an underground bunker at an undisclosed location, where he would strain for 11 months of the year to distill all his dwindling creative powers More About: Sick , Goin
Tommy RIP
2007-11-22 16:21:00 I'm feeling a bit guilty today. I've just remembered a pet tortoise that died in my care back in 1986. I bought him because a petshop opened in the village and because this was as near to exotica as rural Cavan was ever going to get I wanted to buy something quickly before they packed up and left after realising that there was no demand for piranha and seahorses round our way. I wanted a rabbit More About: Tommy
Kat Melojian
2007-11-21 14:12:00 Up to now Kerry Katona was famous for miming repeatedly in a manufactured pop act, briefly staying married to Bry(i)an McFadden, allegedly snorting cocaine through a drainpipe and having boobs so big she could hide behind one of them while the other searched for her in vain. And also having foreign Man United fans think she was Eric Cantona's younger sister. So, needless to say, it came as
The Gardaí take Oz by storm!
2007-11-20 12:24:00 Someone just emailed me this and I nearly hooped up my breakfast laughing. Apparently, the buck eejit who owns this vehicle is an Irish chippy working somewhere in Australia, who decided to decorate his work van like a Garda paddywagon. Just for the craic like. Quality smartarsery of the highest order. I wonder what the Aussies make of it all. More About: Storm
Crafty blogrush
2007-11-19 17:47:00 Ah well, it seems my dastardly and fiendish plan to upset the boffins in Blogrush Towers has failed. I had hoped to leave them with some McDanger-type egg all over their smug false-promisey faces by posting a headline taking the piss out of them, which they would in turn 'syndicate' on blogs all over the world. Thereby sarcastically murdering themselves from within. As explained in Friday's blog
The Clinic
2007-11-19 12:31:00 If only because a stopped clock is right twice a day, RTE are really doing something right with their Sunday night drama series, The Clinic . I watch it as much as possible, and in our house where myself and Miaow Cow eternally squabble like angry turkeys over Reality TV versus the History Channel, it represents the third way, the middle path if you will. What I'm saying is that it strikes a
Don't click me, blogrush is shite!
2007-11-16 12:53:00 I've had the 'blogrush widget' on my site for a while now and I feel the need to report on its effectiveness. My articles have been 'syndicated' about 10,000 times and how many people do you think have clicked through? A few hundred? No. A few thousand? Nope, not even close. Give up? I'll tell you how many. Feckin' none. Zero. Squat. That's 25% of sweet fiddledy fuck, which is, as we know, a More About: Click
Slice of magazine
2007-11-15 12:32:00 When Miaow Cow goes off to bed early some nights, I make sure she's asleep and then steal a furtive look at her magazines. This gives me a minor thrill I must admit, all this doing something that technically I shouldn't be doing, what with me having a willy etc. Not that Miaow Cow would mind anyway, it's not as if I'm putting her mascara on my nipple hair and trying on her knickers and high More About: Magazine , Slice
Hot or not?
2007-11-14 15:00:00 I just don't get people who like hot food. Tell me this, how in the name of Jasus can burning the hole off yourself at the dinner table enhance the dining experience? Lots of people in my family and a good few of my friends love hot and spicy food. This means that when I go for a meal with them they're all there merrily tucking into dishes like the Flaming Jalapeno Revenge of Ganesh with Extra
Cheeky Dunnes
2007-11-13 13:28:00 Dunnes Stores are a right shower of sneaky hoors. How they continually get away with ripping off the packaging and marketing ideas of their biggest rivals is beyond me. There I was flicking through the papers and I came across this big full page ad for grocery products. For a good 30 seconds or so I was convinced it was for Marks and Spencers but on closer inspection, it was actually an ad for
Drink your diesel
2007-11-12 12:35:00 I was down in Cavan at the weekend and meself and Miaow Cow were propping up the bar in my local when it suddenly hit me how unfashionable I am. I hadn't come out dressed in clown's shoes and a pink leotard or anything, I was actually suitably attired, perfumed and coiffed, as one must always be when socialising in the highly urbane rural Cavan. Pun intended. No, clothes-wise I'm not too badly More About: Drink , Diesel
The mad lad at the gym
2007-11-09 14:20:00 There's a couple of characters that go to my gym that completely crack me up, but one in particular completely takes the biscuit. Actually, I'd say he completely takes quite a few biscuits judging by the pork on him but that's besides the point. He's 50-odd (very odd) I reckon, balding with long straggly hair at various locations around his head, a little bit short and tubby. He was there the
Collapsible goats. Whatever next?
2007-11-08 12:45:00 I've decided that I want a new pet - a fainting goat! For those of you unfamiliar with the species, the fainting goat is a basically like your average normal goat, except it freezes rigid and then keels over any time it gets a sudden fright. I don't normally opt out by posting you-tube videos but this is quite possibly the funniest thing I've ever seen: (edit: if you can't see video below here's More About: Goats , Oats
Cinema bastards
More articles from this author:2007-11-07 12:48:00 Today I will be mostly firing up my fires of fiery ire in relation to people who go to cinemas and ruin the experience for everyone else by having manners more at home in a farmyard than a movie theatre. I'm not happy. I go the cinema very regularly and every time I go - and I mean every time, no messing - there's a bunch of knuckle-heads somewhere in the theatre laughing, talking, throwing More About: Cinema 1, 2, 3 |
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