Deep Thoughts of an AssholeDeep Thoughts of an AssholeThe Day to Day complete life of an asshole. Hilarious thoughts and fights. Articles
Rolling Backpacks
2007-03-23 16:01:00 I here by announce a new law banning all Roll ing Back pack s. Coming back from Victoria after having some beers on the ferry I just wanted to get the hell out of there. 3 ladies and 1 guy rolling fucking purple backpacks in front of me just fucking out of control. Making annoying little sounds like they are pushing a shopping cart around. The best part is as soon as you get to stairs...They are so fucking lazy they refuse to pick up these stupid fucking things. So when these people are not looking i spit on the back of their rolling backpacks especially if they are trying to pull them down a flight of stairs like some sort of handicapped kid who's elevator is broken. I'm ashamed of a few things I have done in my life like pushing this girl Megan down in grade 4 and breaking her arm.. or the time i grabbed a peacock by the neck in Stanley Park and punched it in the face for biting me... Or the time I made my best friend Allison snort a line of sour cream at a Boston Pizza but this...... More About: Backpacks , Rolling
SPAM
2007-03-22 17:26:00 I get so much god dam spam now i don't even know what to do with some of the email accounts i rock out. For now on I'm posting my spam and e-mailing most of it back to these fuckers with their shit scams. If you fall for some of this shit..you should smash your head into a brick wall because it's just retarded....here is the message..my reply is at the bottom.---------------------------------- ----------------------------------------T REAT AS URGENTFROM THE DESK OF DR ALHAJIDANCOAUDITING AND ACCOUNTING UNIT.FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPT.BANK OF AFRICA (BOA)OUAGA-BURKINA FASODEAR FRIEND,I Am DR DR ALHAJIDANCOIthe manager in charge of auditing and accounting unitforeign remittance depatmet of BANK OF AFRICA (BOA)ouaga-burkina faso inwest Africa. with due respect and regards I have decided to contact youon a business transaction that will be very beneficial to both of us atthe end of the transaction,During our investigation and auditing in thebank, my department came across a very huge sum ... More About: Spam
World Series of Poker
2007-03-20 15:49:00 I came back from my trip yesterday and I was having massive trouble falling asleep and because there was no Calgary flames hockey on I watched the next worst thing, POKER. For some reason the sports channels now shove this shit down my fucking throat straight time. Since when is playing cards a sport? I play cards when I'm pissed drunk it's not a sport. This fat fuck Christ Money Maker comes on Sportsnet telling me "winning the world series of poker is like winning any major sporting event."Who are you trying to shit buddy? Your 300 fucking pounds! How the fuck would you know anything about winning a sporting event except maybe a hot dog eating contest. I'm not saying poker doesn't take some skill but Jesus Christ so does Chess and handjobs and I don't see that on sportsnet! Humm well winning the world cup in front of a billion people? NAWWWW I want to be a real athlete playing POKER ONLINE at pokerstars.com...lick my fucking ringbit Chris money maker. He has that stupid commer... More About: Poker , World , Series , World Series , World Series of Poker
Fathers Day
2007-03-16 15:33:00 Dad charged with storing stash of drugs in 6-year-old daughter's jacket pocketHILLSIDE, N.J. (AP) - Police here say a man charged with drug possession had an unusual place to store his stash: his 6-year-old daughter's jacket pocket. Dennis Riker, 41, raised suspicions Monday morning when he stopped by his daughter's school in Hillside, saying he had left his keys in her jacket. But the staff at the A.P. Morris School would not let him in because Riker was not the girl's legal guardian. That role belonged to the girl's grandmother. Police said Riker, unbeknownst to the school, called the woman to ask her to come to the school. Meanwhile, school officials called her, too, but believed someone else answered and impersonated the woman. And then, the actual grandmother arrived, saying she wanted the girl's jacket. It was all so strange that principal Tracey Wolff called police to the school. An officer checked the coat and found 25 vials of cocaine and a half-ounce rock of crack in... More About: Fathers , Father , Fathers Day , Hers , S Day
300
2007-03-15 15:36:00 DUDE I always post about stuff that sucks but today I'm going to be busy as fuck planning another Victoria trip. So I'm telling everyone to see 300 it's the best movie EVER. Now see after seeing it, It made me want to be a spartan go downtown and beat kids in the food court with swords and shields..fucking bad ass. They throw abnormal babies that suck into a pit when they are born! China they have you beat buddy! I hear they smash female melons around there because they don't want to many chicks. Jesus talk about a shitty fucking place to live. I think they need more gays if anything to control the population. Now just imagine if here in Canada we threw shitty babies off cliffs the population would suddenly drop from fucking 32 million to 200 Thousand like our hockey teams wouldn't be way better EH. How would you like to be the guy that gets to throw all the babies off cliffs? Wouldn't that make for good bar conversation picking up chicks.."Ya I'M A VIRGO TOO!""What do you do...
Slow Walkers
2007-03-14 15:47:00 A bunch of fucking kettle heads walking with their arms linked in a fucking chain .001 miles an hour. Snails shit faster than these people walk and I hate them all. If you don't have the speed to go out in public and walk in a mall etc stay the fuck indoors like a downs child in Russia. I walked in this stupid giant mall called Metrotown in Burnaby people walking fucking slow everywhere. If i go shopping I know what i want and i go and get it but not these fucks they slow my whole life down. I feel i should kill one of them to get back all the time I lost standing behind them. So anyway I'm upstairs near this starbucks...and no shit there are 5 chinese people in a row walking i swear in front of me just to piss me off. Me being Asian i felt like i had the right to call them chinks. Black people can call each other the "N WORD!" than i can call Chinese people chinks! Oh sweet racism...Anyway "I said move it Chinks!" They turned there head like Franklin the turtle, slow and easy doe... More About: Slow , Walk , Walker
Pet Ware
2007-03-12 15:49:00 It's fucking 18 degrees out and i see ladies walking their fucking dogs in shirts and sweaters. Now you people that dress your dogs up in coats and socks your all fucked in the head and should probably jump off a cliff and kill yourself. Last time i checked....dogs were animals and had fur. They don't need you to evolve them into some sort of fashion show. Imagine what your dog is thinking...."I'm wearing a fucking purple and pink sweater Jesus Christ lady why don't you just put me down?"Now they have opened a fucking DOGIE gym by my house. It comes included with a DOG SPA. Yes your dog that's face is about as fucked up as yours can now get a facial and run on treadmills in a tank of water! What gets me is half of the people that take their dogs to these places are fat fucking snobby old cunts. Why don't you stop picking on your dog and try going to the gym yourself you pig. NOPE i want to stay at home knit shitty outfits for my dog and make it go to the dogie gym. The only pl... More About: War , Ware
Mom uses her baby as a weapon
2007-03-10 00:51:00 ERIE, Pennsylvania (AP) -- A woman pleaded guilty Tuesday to swinging her 4-week-old son like a bat to hit her boyfriend during a fight, fracturing the infant's skull in the process."Chytoria Graham, 27, pleaded guilty to aggravated assault and endangering the welfare of a child under a plea agreement with prosecutors.By pleading guilty, Graham acknowledged that on October 8 she grabbed her son Jarron by his feet and swung him, hitting her boyfriend and seriously injuring the child.At Graham's preliminary hearing in December, paramedic Betty Schau, who treated the baby, recalled that Graham was crying and disheveled when medical crews arrived. She testified that Graham told her, "I swung him. I swung him like a bat."The judge ordered a psychological examination for Graham before her sentencing, set for May 8. The charges carry a minimum of five years in prison because the child was under age 12. Two lesser charges were dropped." -CNNThis women is a fucking pioneer. Next time your ... More About: Baby , Weapon
Airplane Jackoff?
2007-03-09 01:05:00 So this lady put in a complaint on a TWA flight going to seattle that a man that works on TWA ejaculated on her. The man has been suspended without pay until further notice. On top of that an FBI agent is working the case who is a part of the united states terrorism squad. This is one of the most fucked up news stories i have ever heard and i know this shit only happens in the states. I give this guy props of sneakyness..He is sitting beside this chick on the plane and some how whips his dick out without her noticing and blows a load on her. Good show, turn her into a fucking glazed donut when she is sleeping. How the hell don't you notice someone jerking off beside you? Did you think he was just jingling for some change down there or playing Yatzee by himself? I would shit kick someone if they blew their load on me.. she just complained? That's it? "umm excuse me.. this man has just ejaculated on me."What the fuck....Then the guy on the case is a terrorism guy....Like this is a p... More About: Airplane , Lane , Jack , Plane , Plan
7-11
2007-03-06 17:22:00 A week or so back I walked outside the 7-11 on Seymour and Dunsmuir with my buddy Brian. A homeless man asked me for change..now normally i wouldn't tell him to straight fuck off but I'm looking at this fucking guy and he is reading the fucking wallstreet journal. This guy needs change so he can find some fucking food but is intelligent enough to read the wallstreet journal. I know people that have retarded fucking awesome jobs that can't read that stupid paper. Maybe your just fucking lazy as shit guy.I wonder was he saving all this change to be invested in a portfolio of mutual funds where he could live off the dividends or was he just wondering how the welfare bum pension fund was going these days? I'm thinking of quitting my job as we speak and just begging for money, being a fucking parasite. It's almost like my friend Mike telling me about the weed dealer at the Art Gallery who is a crackhead named ZUES. He is apparently King of the crackheads and when asked to buy weed f...
Captured in Ethiopia
2007-03-06 01:23:00 So on yahoo news today I hear the brits are all shitting their pants because they can't find some news reporters or some piss that got lost in Ethiopia ? How the shit do you lose someone in Ethiopia. Try looking for the white guy that has had something to eat in the past 7 days! Hey can't play the fucking xylophone on his chest that's probably him. You can build a satelite that can zoom onto a pimple on someones ass but you can't find this dude. Just like they couldn't find a 6'8 OSMA BIN hiding in the mountains. How many guys do they have hiding in the hills really? Shit if no one lives there.. just drop some bombs that will make people shit themselves and come out of hiding. My friends told me that i should come out to eat Ethiopian food with them."It's Really cheap and good"Ya well it's from Ethiopia I didn't expect it to be crazy ass expensive or anything. I can't imagine what they eat...and how good it could be. I could stay home and drink my own piss and shit and i be... More About: Capture
Hungover Journal
2007-03-02 18:28:00 Today I feel like I have been kicked down a flight of fucking stairs by a fat man. Seriously Scientists/pharmacist are trying to find cures to aids..invented birth control, How about fucking hangovers? Today I sit at work thinking why the fuck did I even go out yesterday....Why all the tequila ...why do I have to work this fucking early? The only thing that cheers me up today is watching the little Filipino cleaning lady that speaks no English mop up somebodys piss in the washroom. I think to myself there are worse things i could be doing in life. I can't imagine what she feels like when she comes to work hungover...If someone told me to clean some piss I'd tell them to go fuck themselves right in the ringbit..but not this lady she is a fucking soldier..we need more people like her and the BEE CLEAN CONTRACTING COMPANY (theres a picture of a bee......). Now for lunch I'll be too hungover to do anything active I'll head to McDonald's. That job also licks hairy nuts and is also f... More About: Journal , Over
Rave
2007-03-01 16:42:00 Oh Microsoft you have done it again with your witty new version of Windows media player. NOW my Music can rave twice as hard with flashy backgrounds to my music...Even a log on the fire how exciting! My music is in sync with logs on a fire...oh my so fucking awesome! GAH! Who fucking started these rave things let alone UNCE music? Someone on Prozac obviously because it sounds like Chinese people talking mixed with a transformers shitting. I guess some girls do it because they are fucked in the head and some guys do it because they can touch girls that are fucked in the head and they are so high on shitty drugs they don't know what's going on. Is it really worth the music? Jam 2000 Chinese kids with bleached bangs into a hall somewhere high on E and let them touch each other for about 15 hours oh SNAP! Anyone one can make this music..I can take my computer and have that windows wizard speech guy say something electronic like and wierd like Destiny!! and then kick my wall over and o... More About: Rave
Cyber Sex
2007-02-27 16:40:00 "I HAVE HAD SEX TWICE! ONCE ON A DOLL AND THE OTHER ON THE INTERNET!"Uuuuh I'm sure if your reading my blog you probably don't have a real exciting life and this is you? No? Well anyway I just wanted to throw out the idea that you are a sick sick weird fuck :) I don't see why people would do this basically I think these people are just cheap losers? If you were that hard up to get laid that you would need people to type sexy words at you get a hooker,download porn anything but have people type things at you that's just fucked. It amazes me how geeky people are that they can even type that fast with 1 hand. At least this way nobody can see how ugly you really are! But shit that goes both ways I bet there could be a 600 pound beast on the other end of that Internet connection that smells like gravy,sweat and cat piss just typing her fat little fingers off or better yet guys another guy... unless your actually looking for another guy than it's probably a chick. "OH boy you should ... More About: Cyber
AFV or America's Funniest Home Video!
2007-02-26 16:46:00 I was with a friend last night who was trying to convince me that America 's funniest home video was hilarious. I don't see it? I think I'm really missing something here. They have been playing the same fucking videos since 1989 when Bob saget ran show. HA HA some fat man gets hit in the nuts with a football or a cat chases its tail...... .....Then the audience all laughs "OH BOY THAT WAS SOMETHING! *CHUCKLES* "Who the fuck goes to watch this show live? Get a life...They watch videos live? Good times...Honey i got free tickets to watch AFV video! YES!Some kid has a tantrum on Television and he wins a 100k. I think we should have a UFC show you know kind of like American Idol but with children bare knuckle boxing. You can have nerdy kids like that William chung guy or whatever the fuck his name is fighting Tito Ortiz trying to prove he is not a loser anymore..Then bam one dead half retarded Chinese man. Now that would be funny. Sorry for the short post but work is really hectic but... More About: Video , Fun , Funnies , Home
Bell Beavers
2007-02-23 16:59:00 I don't mind the Bell Network or Bell Phones but the Bell beavers can lick an old woman's wrinkly rotten cunt. I'd like to kick them down the fucking stairs none of these commercials are even remotely funny. Norm McDonald your alcholic days ended at SNL only to be scooped up by Bell as a fucking Beaver . I remember Dirty work being a fucking hilarious movie now look at you! The only Beaver that gets more tortured is Paris Hilton's in her terrible sex video where she is being a starfish pounded on her cell phone. The Bell Beavers are all over TV and for some reason now they have commercials where they are on some sort of talk show..... uuuh I don't get it?Why the fuck would we want to see these dip shits on T.V I rather swallow a mouth full of cat shit mixed in with a carney's armpit. THEY ARE ON EVERY FUCKING CANADIAN CHANNEL. Look here I'm in a commercial eating jelly beans! Hahah You think I'm doing a reference to Bell satellite but really I'm just eating jelly beans haha ...
Britney Spears
2007-02-21 16:48:00 I love it. Britney Spears has decided she can't be on the same planet as KFED anymore so she is hoping that she gets abducted by aliens by shaving her fat head. I think personally all her hair fell out from the side effects of drinking that rancid pepsi piss. She has checked herself into a mental institution because she is finally comming to the relization she is fucking retarded. Don't worry fans she posted a letter on her website that she will come back bigger than ever. Remember Anna Nichole Smith, I remember her comming back bigger than ever too. She had more chins than a chinese phone book on that bitch until she started humping that 9 billion year old fossil and now look at them .. they are all dead. *huh*Poor Brit her trailor trash ass is finally falling apart..Box falling out in cars,dropping babies, shaving her head..making out with other chicks on rumors she is a big dyke. Well Micheal has dropped his baby,Paris showed her lazy fuck show pussy to the world and G.I.J.A.N.... More About: Pear , Pears
Boohoo
2007-02-20 16:38:00 The Olympics is coming to Vancouver! Well the winter Olympics anyway and a bunch of cry baby hippies are protesting and crying about it. "THE CORPORATIONS ITS ALL ABOUT THE CORPORATIONS! BUILD SOCIAL HOUSING! STOP THE TAX BREAKS FOR THE CORPORATIONS!"I'm not company man but I'm pretty sure those tax breaks are the one that allow companies to build social housing and make a profit you fucking twit. They threw eggs at people which was pretty funny and are probably the same students that were out in the student tuition protest last week. Every week in Vancouver some artfag is crying about something because they went to some crappy university got an arts degree and now can't figure out how to pay his/her student loan on fucking 10 dollars an hour in a management job at burger king. Ya let's throw eggs then everyone will take you fucking seriously. Anyone who told you fucks to be yourselves gave you totally bad fucking advice. OH some hippies are throwing eggs and crying in the stree...
Japanese Game SHOW!
2007-02-19 16:29:00 In Japan I think they are a step above us in Television no matter what people in California think. The game shows they have are fucking unreal and I didn't know how awesome they were until I actually went and looked for some on the Internet. For those of you that subscribed through e-mail you might actually have to come to this blog for the videos.In this one you have to recite a tongue twister or a giant fucking machine hits you in the nuts. Now why anyone would go on this show is beyond fucking me. There is a dude that looks like one of the Last Samurai in this video, but he is a total cry baby.This one is my favorite these dudes sit in a library and play odd man out with some fucking cards. The guy that is the odd man out gets to breath in farts and have his nose hairs plucked. What the fuck were these guys thinking? How do you even win? The funny thing is I know a lot of people that would probably go out and play this. A guy has to climb into a giant tank of boiling water while... More About: Game Show , Show , Japanese , Pane
Hockey Commercials
2007-02-16 16:39:00 I'm stoked today Is HOCKEY DAY! The Vancouver Canucks Play Martin Havlat and the Homosexual Chicago Blackcocks. Being a CANADIAN EH I fucking love hockey, and I say Eh all the fucking time it's not a myth but I don't say stupid shit like in the states like"WHAT CAN I DO YOU FOR?" The one thing that sucks about hockey well sportsnet in particular is the shitty commercials. They have about four commercials that just fucking rotate over and over and over. They make me want to just shoot myself in the nutsack with a blow dart. They have a panago commercials where this fat wop tells me how good Panago pizza is. Now I'm thinking they were going over this whole fresh ideas campaign where some bitch was dancing and fresh vegetables where flying around. Oh YUM! Now it seems they have just thrown that idea out the fucking window and it makes me feel cheated those fucks! Now this fat fucker is telling me to eat pizza with a Jersey Accent. Well all of a sudden I have been eating this shit e... More About: Commercial , Hockey , Commercials , Comm , Merc
Valentines Day!
2007-02-14 16:35:00 Hurray for Jesus it's fucking Vale nti ne s day! Whoopty fucking DOO! It's not cool like Halloween or new years where you have an excuse to just get pissed. Maybe New years and Valentines should be on the same day that way at Midnight when you make out with everyone pass on aids and you can pass out all these fucking retarded cards that say stupid shit like "BE MINE". Are you a fucking cave man? Be Mine? Who the shit says Be mine? Ladies out there can you imagine a guy coming up to you and saying BEEE MINEEEEE. I bet you would throw your rum and coke in his face and burn his eye balls with cigarettes. All these Hallmark greetings that say stupid shit, I'll love you forever. You're just saying that because you haven't broken up yet. Some people should start to keep those things so when they break up they can call BULLSHIT! This guy in the jewellery store was having a watch engraved that said "Till the end of time"Whoa... That is the worst shit I ever heard. You think your pretty cl... More About: Valentines Day
Guest Post Day
2007-02-13 16:26:00 It's Guest post day... If you want to post your pissed off post emailzoltanwise@yahoo.caInternet Chain QuestionnairesFor all of you people who didn’t get the memo; only losers seeking attention fill these things out on a weekly basis. You know who you are! The people who fill these damn things out then try to blame it on the people who forward them. Ugh, Amanda sent me this so I’ll fill it out AGAIN. Like it’s a chore for them or something. Who are you fooling? Everyone knows you love it. But someone forgot to tell you that nobody gives a fuck what you are wearing, what your favourite number is, how many times you’ve been kissed since last week, what the last thing you ate was or what the fuck your favourite movie is. So quit taking up room on the Internet and quit it with the useless info about your favourite person……obviously YOURSELF. Who has time to do this shit? My favourite is when the same effing person keeps filling them out then over time starts coming up with ... More About: Post
People I work with
2007-02-12 17:31:00 Ugh sorry about the few missed posts last week I was busy as fuck! I was working evening and this Dick at work left me with all his work because he was to handicapped to do it himself. Sometimes I want to take these printers he fucking worships over from 1981 literally tie them to his fucking ankles and throw them out the fucking window on the 10th floor. He is 6'3 and 149 pounds lanky fuck that kind of looks like a ninja turtle. He is the most ANAL person alive~! He comes into work early to adjust all the chairs in our office to his height and put caps lock onto every ones computer. The time we went out and CUT out the fucking caps lock keys....HE HAD FUCKING SPARES! WHO THE FUCK HAS SPARE CAPS LOCKS? The guys at work think he is gay but there is no way I could see him letting anyone touch him. He is like ROBO COP no personality unless he is constantly bitching. He wears the same clothes everyday,eats at the same place everyday and even gets his hair cut on the same day and time a... More About: People , Work , With
Haida Hippies
2007-02-09 01:29:00 WHOA WHOA WHOA! I have found my new favorite RAP GROUP YOOOO BOOOOY! The Haida hippies that I was shown on MySpace is the most Hip group around YO!The are a Rap group straight off the REZ of the Queen Charlottes situated in British Columbia. "MASSET FOR LIFE. WESTSIDE PORT CLEMENS DAWG!"There hit song MASTER BAITERS...cleaver. Is about Racial bigots treating them like shit on the dock. My favorite line is -"fishing is a part of our culture in tradition no dam stories about ass kissin"The rap about REAL issues that I'm totally into I give these guys 2 thumbs up YO. You can listen to their music live on their myspace! IT's fucking WACK. Rez Gangstars. They rap that 70% of the people working on the dock are white and the rest Native.. That's racist.. I bet they even have Zero black people working...Racist whiteys. They don't know how hard it is growing up on EI in Skidigate BOYEEE. DJ Juus Haida Joe, Pedestrian X are working on some new beats so they could have some more wack hits ... More About: Hippies , Pies
The Canadian Army
2007-02-07 00:36:00 Watching TV I saw the new Ads telling viewers to join the Cana dian Military by fighting distress. That's like pitching me to join the some sort of gay pride union. The military in Canada is fucking pathetic. If you join you will be third in charge! We might even let you drive our tank if we get some cash to buy some gas for the fucking thing! You will dropped off in luxurious Afghanistan with forests of pot in a pink camo outfit and a package of smarties to will your enemies from shooting you. Give me a fucking break. IT'S JUST LIKE CAMPING! Except some 14 year old asshole is constantly yelling at you, while you spend your days stranded in the desert showering with fucking dudes. Now this might be Clay Aiken's idea of some good fun but not mine. Who needs bombs in the Canadian army when we have hot gift baskets of potpourri and gift certificates to the local McDonald's? That donkey shit of an army will be in Afghanistan as long is it takes all three golden girls to take a shit, ... More About: Army , Dian , Adia
Yoga
2007-02-02 16:36:00 Trying to get flexible lately and I heard Yoga was a good way to start. So I'm up watching T.V and see this shit come on. Holy Jesus Christ you got to be pretty fruity to do this shit beware. I'm pretty manly with my sexuality I'll give this shit a shot. OKAY CLEARRRR YOUR MINDwtf...I guess I can clear my mind, What the fuck for? I thought this chick wanted me to stretch out? I'm just hanging in my shorts here and all these losers are dressed in spandex doing some Buddha ritual deal.Fuck it..Skip that part.Then she says some fucked up stuff that just weirded me out. This lady kind of reminded me of the kindergarden teacher from Billy Madison, You know the one that puts glue on her face? Anyway she is lying on the floor motionless, Pah I can do that in my sleep.Then....YOUR A CAT POUNCE POUNCE.Uuuuh..Pounce? Where the hell am I going.So I'm sitting on my fucking floor pouncing around in my shorts (what a fucking pansy) I feel like a Russian hockey player. NOW YOUR A SCCCARED CAT...
Picked on
2007-02-01 16:42:00 I see they have new commercials now of kids getting bullied or picked on. Oh tell your teacher blah blah blah. It's not the bullies fault you spawned some child of sissy that can't wear pants properly, run in a straight line or have a normal lunch with out playing Dungeons and Dragons. It's your FAULT! FOR RAISING A SISSY! Stop being a pussy with your children make them REAL people. Some kid picking on you at school for fuck sakes take some Wing Chung bring a sword and cut off his foot. Just his foot so he can walk around looking like an asshole the rest of his life. "O'l Limps dareee lost his leg to a geeek i say bout the 9th grade"Tell your kids to stop being in fucking band and playing the tuba and learn to maybe run like the fucking wind and play the chicks field. You have set your children up to be losers if anyone is to blame it is you. Jerry Springer has these shows "LOOK AT ME NOW I USED TO BE UGLY IN HIGH SCHOOL AND NOW IM HOT"Big fucking deal want a hero cookie, things... More About: Pick
My Hero
2007-01-30 16:59:00 I met my new personal Hero yesterday.. Well we didn't exactly meet but we talked for about half a minute. Waiting inside the bus before it took off this fat dude walks up with a pizza."You can't come in here with that"So this fucking dude SWALLOWED AN ENTIRE PEICE OF PIZZA! Holy Fuck not a small peice,Not one and a half bites...He folded the fucking thing and swallowed it. Linda fucking Lovelace eat your heart out. The bus driver looked like he was going to puke..me on the other hand I wanted to clap and cheer! He sat beside me because I was smiling and he was telling me he had lots of practice. No fucking shit this guy was the size of D&D playing bus driver that had just broken into a hospital to eat babies. What could impress women more than being able to swallow an entire LARGE LARGE fucking dollar peice of pizza in a single swallow. He could finish a full large in like 5 minutes, what a fucking freak, That's Awesome! My quest to finish a beer in 1.5 seconds will be pushed har... |



