It's A Schmitty Life

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He's A Keeper
2007-10-04 03:00:00
The Schmitty household is definitely into the Halloween spirit. I love Halloween, it's right up there with Christmas for me. Autumn is my favorite time of year and October, my favorite month. The weather is perfect, the colors, and everything to do with the preparation and execution of trick or treating. I.JUST.LOVE.IT!Yesterday I got out my decorations from the crawl space and purchased some new ones from "Tarjay"; the foam pumpkins, the skeleton hands, the skull, our very eerie floating ghoul, my giant spider, and cobwebs galore. I was a decorating fiend. The yard looks awesome.To round out the festive night, we decided that we would be the first to "Phantom" our neighbors. For those of you who may not know about the Phantom, let me explain. First you get a treat bag and place a few pieces of candy in it. Then you decorate said bag. Next, draw a picture of a ghost and place this in the bag with the candy. Then include this poem:THE PHANTOM HAS COME TO TOWNTO LEAVE THE GOODIES YOU...
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Jeff Dunham and Walter
2007-10-01 07:28:00
Okay, I have just found my new favorite comedian! You have to watch this...it's HILARIOUS! (I know it's one for the guys, but ladies, you know you find it funny too!)FYI: There is a new contest running at my other blog. It's Not Shopping....It's Retail Therapy! has a giveaway for a $100 Shopping Spree to a great website! Anyone with daughters is gonna love it!
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I Got A Good One!
2007-09-26 19:24:00
I guess I'm the only one who was lucky enough to get a realPRINCE CHARMING!Happy 15th Anniversary Mr. Schmitty!NLMLYD!
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A Troublemaker's Timeline
2007-09-23 14:54:00
The following post is what happens when you leave a three year old girl, who seems to be going through a monster faze, a pile of french fries, with ketchup, of course, and a seven month old puppy, that just loves said girl, especially when she has food, in a room for a few minutes ~ ALONE. (Okay, okay, so I had a brain fart)2:06 pm: I leave R. at the dining room table with her french fries. R. is eating happily while watching Spongebob's "The Best Day Ever".2:09 pm: As I am checking my business email, I hear Mr. Schmitty yell, "You'd better get up here!"2:10 pm: We are cleaning up french fries, that Ruby is desperately trying to scoff down, that were dumped on the living room rug, "Because Ruby likes french fries!"2:12 pm: Mr. Schmitty is bathing the pooch because, "Look Mama, I finger painted Ruby with the ketchup!"2:13 pm: I am striping down my little Picasso because her new, cute, pink skort and top looks like she hemorrhaged in it. She also needs to get into the tub, for the s...
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Prepping For October
2007-09-20 18:45:00
You know that your child is bored when you leave the room for five minutes, JUST TO PEE, and you come back and find this:I have been T.P.'ed by my daughter. Well, it's not actually toilet paper, it's a roll and a half of calculator tape. She decorated my computer chair for one of two reasons;1. She is preparing for the upcoming Halloween festivities next month and wants to make sure that her Mischief Night is well practiced for....or....2. I was on the computer a little too long and she's not having it.In all fairness to R., I went with reason number two and decided we needed to get out of the house for a while. The boys were both in school so I asked her if she wanted to go to the Dollar Tree to get items for her birthday party. She'll be 4 on October 20th and we are going to have a Dress-Up Tea Party. Three little friends are coming and are allowed to bring a guest (i.e. Mr. Teddy Bear or Suzzy Poops A Lot). I plan on having cut-out sandwiches, tea a.k.a. apple juice, cookies...
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Yes, I'm Still Alive!
2007-09-17 19:11:00
Wow, it's been almost a week since I last posted. Where did the week go? Did you miss me? I've been a bad, bad blogger. I'm out of whack now that school has started and not quite into a routine yet. But I'm getting there.Mr. Schmitty and I went to our overnight wedding getaway on Saturday! It was a much needed break. It was the first time we have ever been away from the kids overnight - together. It was AWESOME! We were gone 23 hours!! The wedding was very nice. The bride and groom looked gorgeous. Everything went smoothly and looked perfect. The hour long ceremony ended at 3:45 pm. The reception wasn't beginning until 6. We were starving. I was so afraid my stomach was going to growl during the wedding vows, I was that hungry. We stopped for a quick bite with our friends/neighbors because we knew we wouldn't make it until the cocktail hour.It was a good thing we did because the Hors D'ouvres were very upscale. I'm a picky eater and with Mr. Schmitty's celiac...well, there ...
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Remembering 9/11/01
2007-09-11 15:51:00
Where were you on September 11, 2001? What were you doing when American Airlines Flight 11 and United Airlines Flight 175 crashed into the World Trade Center's Twin Towers? Who were you with when you watched the aftermath of American Airlines Flight 77 crashing into the Pentagon? What were you thinking when United Airlines Flight 93 crashed in Somerset County, Pennsylvania?I don't care how old I get, or how senile, I will always know the answers to those four questions. I don't think anyone over the age of twenty will ever forget the horror this country felt on that day, six years ago.I was in my kitchen when the telephone rang. W., who was three, was watching Teletubbies in the playroom. The caller ID showed Mr. Schmitty's cell number."Are you watching tv?""Are you kidding? Teletubbies is on!" I replied."Turn on the news, some guy just flew his plane into one of The World Trade Center buildings!" At the time, it was thought that a small plane had crashed. They did not know that...
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Hasn't He Been Through Enough?
2007-09-10 02:38:00
I've been MIA for a few days. It's been very exhausting and hectic around here, to say the least. On Friday I had just returned from bringing T. to Pre-K. I walked into the house and heard the phone ringing. I looked at the caller ID and saw that it was W.'s school.That's never a good thing.I answered the call and was greeted by the school nurse. She told me that W. was having some chest pain. He had been outside at recess, however, because of the heat the children were not allowed to run around. Even though this was the case, his heart rate was up. I told her I would be right over to get him. In case some of you don't know, W. was born with a heart defect. The main arteries to his heart were switched. He also had a hole in his heart. When he was 5 days old he went through open heart surgery and it was repaired. He is now a healthy boy and does not take any medications for it. The only restrictions he has is no contact sports, which has nothing to do with his heart but is not a...

Noah, Could You Build Me An Ark?
2007-09-05 19:52:00
Last night I couldn't sleep. I was WIDE awake. Mr. Schmitty, as usual, fell asleep in nanoseconds. He was snoring peacefully next to me. I wanted to suffocate him with the pillow because I was just staring at the ceiling while my mind raced."Are you asleep?" I whispered."Huh? What? Who?" he muttered."Oh never mind!" I said.He was snoring again before I even finished my sentence. Darn! I didn't want to get out of bed. I was tired but just couldn't nod off.Okay, I guess I'll have to take action. I needed something to make me relax. I snuggled up close to Mr. Schmitty."Are you awake, NOW?" I purred. Bow Chicka Bow Wow!So now that I was relaxed, Mr. Schmitty and I hunkered down for the night. He was still trying to figure out where that all came from when I last saw the clock at 12:30 am.As it usually goes in my house, if you go to sleep later than 10:00 pm, expect something to happen during the night. Your sleep will be interrupted.I was dreaming about a gorgeous house we were tour...
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Oh It's ON!
2007-09-01 20:18:00
I was sitting at the computer today, trying desperately to think of something to write about. I also was trying to get my other blog written and pick a winner for the monthly contest, which will be posted later tonight! :DI don't know why but my brain is in a complete fog today. I have this big void between my ears. I think my brain turned to mush during the night and leaked out of my right ear. I'm going to have to check with the dust bunnies under my bed and see if they've seen it.I was stressing a bit because I couldn't concentrate on anything. I get really irritable when I can't function like that. Mr. Schmitty told me to jump in the shower and relax."Yea, that's what I'll do!" I thought to myself.I crank up the hot water, I know it's summer but cold showers aren't for me. The air conditioner is blasting anyway. I jump in, pull the curtain, and I put my face in the spray of water. Mr. Schmitty decided to vacuum the playroom, which is right outside the downstairs bathroo...

Thoughts Bouncing Around In My Head
2007-08-31 15:13:00
1. I may have resolved the sleeping issue with R. After countless nights of her waking me up and then me squeezing my fat butt into her teeny, tiny, twin-sized bed where I tossed and turned until morning, I gave her what she wanted. It never dawned on me, probably because of the sleep deprivation, that she was lonely and scared in her room. She said to me the other night that I have daddy and W. has T. Uh-Duh, light bulb moment. So yesterday I moved furniture and the kids are now sleeping in one room. I figure they are still young, it's only sleep, right? They slept like angels ALL.THROUGH.THE.NIGHT! I, still slept horribly. Go figure.2. I have got to get the kid's hair cut! Only five more days until school, nothing like waiting until the last minute. I probably won't be able to find an open chair anywhere. Anybody have a Flowbee?3. I went out to dinner last night with some neighborhood moms. We get together right before school lets out for summer and right before it begins again...
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Mr. Schmitty...A Closet Cross-Dresser?
2007-08-29 22:02:00
Okay, he's really going to kill me for this one. But after his comment a few days ago, I owe him one!Today I was a cleaning freak. My OCD kicked into overdrive. I cleaned and organized each and every closet and dresser in the Schmitty household. I got rid of old and/or stained clothing. I threw away two leaf bags full of McDonald's toys, papers, and junk. I did laundry, OH.DID.I.DO.LAUNDRY! I was a tornado!I was in my bedroom going through the unmentionables drawer when R. strolled in."Whatcha doin' mama?""I'm getting rid of some old clothes.""Why?""Because some don't fit anymore and some are old and need to go.""Oh. Can I help?""Sure. See those clothes on the floor? Put them in that big bag for me.""Okay!"She gets to work loading the old, beat-up clothes into the bag. She picks up a black bra from the heap."Why are you throwing this out?""It's old and stretched out.""But daddy likes black bras.""Oh yea, he does, does he?""Yes, he likes to wear them!"I raise and eyebrow. "Real...
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Looks Like We're Staying Put
2007-08-27 17:31:00
Well I've officially called off the house hunting. I've spent the last two weeks frantically searching my town for a house that will accomodate eight people comfortably. The market right now is horrible. Every single house, in our price range, was awful. The house either needed tons of work or was in a bad location. And let me tell you, we weren't looking to be cheap either.That however, is not the reason for stopping. I was all willing to relocate to another town. I even had started looking in nearby communities. The problem, surprise, surprise, is the in-laws. I understand that they have very big decisions to make. I get that. It's just that my MIL and SIL don't seem to want to actually COME to any decisions.They don't have much time, I've told you all of the condition of the house. Winter is approaching, they need to move. We've given them a few options, they need to pick one. They can't seem to and forget trying to help them. They seem to think we all are against them i...
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His Mind Is Always In The Gutter
2007-08-25 05:27:00
This morning I was looking at the kids and was noticing the different facial features they each had. I was saying to Mr. Schmitty that W. has his profile and T. definitely gets his eyebrows and ears from his grandpa. I continued to say that R. is such a mixture of people from both families.A few conversations later, I asked Mr. Schmitty if he had noticed R.'s new bad habit. She is still hooked on her Binky, but I will only give it to her at night as she is getting into bed. She isn't allowed to have it during the day, no matter how much she whines. Now when she is tired, she has taken to licking the palm of her hand."I think she has an oral fixation.""Well, she certainly didn't get that from you."Bastard.
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Wanted: Sheet Music
2007-08-21 17:19:00
I told you all in the previous post that Miss R. is having an issue with her emotions. Well, to top that off she is also pitching a fit when it's time to go to sleep. She has always been great at bedtime, but for the past two weeks she's been a nightmare. It's the age, I know, I went through this with the other two.She screams that she's not tired and doesn't want to go night-night. She'll go on for an hour or more, by which time she usually gets herself tired enough that I can finally calm her with a song. I think it's my singing that calms her, though she could just be pretending to sleep to make me stop.I'm a horrible singer, I know. I will only sing in front of my kids. I don't sing in the shower. I only sing under my breathe to the radio when Mr. Schmitty or anyone else is around. You won't hear me in the crowd when Happy Birthday is sung. I could never work at a TGI Friday's because of this. I'd be the one you would laugh at during American Idol auditions. Get the ...
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Laila Ali Better Lookout!
2007-08-17 20:01:00
My daughter has a real problem lately. Well, actually, I guess you could call it my problem. She has always had an anger management issue. She's teeny, but she's hell on wheels and doesn't take crap from NOOOOOBODY! Part of me likes that, I want her to be a strong woman with no fear of standing up for herself. That's good, she won't be a doormat.What I am not liking is that lately, she's been clocking anyone who looks at her wrong. She is only 3 going on 4 and I truly believe she is having difficulty expressing herself when she is angry. She speaks extremely well, however, her emotions are just getting the best of her. So she lashes out.And man can she lash out! None of that girly slapping, pinching, or pulling hair stuff. No way! She balls up her little fist and BLAMO! She aims right for the face. And it hurts! Last week she got pissed because I put her on the potty when she first woke up. Apparently she's not going to be a morning person because I got a right hook to the no...
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Am I Coming Or Am I Going?
2007-08-16 20:54:00
That my dear friends, remains the mystery. As you can see, I have been AWOL for almost 5 days. I've been walking in circles for those lost days. The Schmitty house is in a whirlwind. It's been crazy, to say the least, and my head is swimming. I'm probably making you all dizzy right now just reading this post. I'm not making sense, am I? See? I told you. So again, the question as of now is, "Am I coming or am I going?"I have no freaking idea!So, bloggy friends, go pee, grab a drink, and buckle down - this is probably going to be a long one.Mr. Schmitty grew up in the house his mother still resides in. It is a fairly large, very old home. When my father-in-law passed we tried talking her into moving to something smaller. The house has needed an upgrade for years and though my sister-in-law and Mr. Schmitty's 97 year old Nana live there as well, they really don't need a house of that size.My mother-in-law refused to move. She did not want to move from the home she raised her chi...
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Earlier And Earlier Every Year
2007-08-11 23:49:00
Do you know that I have received three Halloween costume catalogs in the mail since Thursday? That's one catalog a day for the past three days. Isn't it only the beginning of August? I haven't even started back-to-school shopping yet!Mr. Schmitty threw the mail on the counter and the kids saw one of the catalogs. W. scooped it right up and they started to browse the pages. Smiling away they all began to pick out their favorites."I want to be this Power Ranger!" yells W. He's been a Power Ranger three times already, can we move on to something else? Pleeeeaaaase?"Okay, nevermind, I want to be Boba Fett from Star Wars!" T. chimes in that he wants to be Jango Fett because he has to do everything his brother does.Well, that would be fine and dandy, except for the fact that each costume is $59.99. Yes, I said EACH! And that is before shipping and handling, which we all know will be at least, what? A thousand dollars?I also wouldn't mind so much about the steep price if they would ac...
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New Blog!
2007-08-10 17:33:00
Hey everyone, I've started a new blog! It's called "It's Not Shopping....It's Retail Therapy". Every day I will be highlighting a new woman owned business that I have discovered on the web. A while back I ran a similar blog and website called the "Woman Owned Business Spotlight" and I made a lot of great contacts as well as found some really great boutiques and shops. I want to share this all with you!On It's Not Shopping....It's Retail Therapy there will be Monthly Contests and some Discounts and Coupons for you to use. I hope you stop by and come back daily to see what treasures I've uncovered!
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Thursday Thirteen # 2
2007-08-09 16:44:00
Thirteen Things And People That Make Me Laugh A silly, crude, movie, the kind with guy humor. Think Dodgeball, Benchwarmers, etc.A good dirty joke or story (like I said, I have a guy's sense of humor).Mr. Schmitty trying to lie. He can't to save his life, his nostrils flare and he gets a revealing smirk on his face.Reminiscing with my brother about our childhood memories of our father's drunken escapades.Ugly men dressing up like women. I don't care what you do, but the guy who walks my local mall, newsflash - you look like a hulking Fred Flinstone in a dress.Everybody Loves Raymond - That sitcom is SO based on my in-laws.R. when she does her "booty dance".W. when he is belly laughing.T. - enough said.Whipped Cream in a can - sorry private joke.A great blog entry, like this one written by Karly at Wiping Up Snot.A great blog title, see #11.Making Mr. Schmitty and the kids laugh so hard they practically pee themselves.
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Go Home!
2007-08-07 16:27:00
Dear Bitch Lady,I am writing this letter to you on my blog for I am unable to send it anywhere else. I could not catch up with you the other day, for if I had I am sure that I could havebeaten the information out of you asked for your address.I want to thank you for the unbelievably idiotic thing you did incident that took place. You brought out the raving lunatic best in me. And you did so in front of my children and husband. Yes, I am so wanting to pound in your nose grateful to you for allowing them to see their mother turn into a roaring animal. But you see, like a mother lion, the claws will come out if my young are in danger.Were you in that much of a hurry to get to Costco? I believe it was only noon, that, I'm sure, still gave you enough time to buy your tampons. I'm sure that's the reason behind your moronic foolish behavior.Maybe that wasn't your reasoning. Perhaps you saw a family of five in the road and were playing that game. You know, the one where you accumulate p...
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Bullets
2007-08-06 20:40:00
I got nothin' for you all, that's why I'm resorting to bullets today. I figure I'll just throw out some random thoughts and fill you in on what's up at the Schmitty house. But be forewarned, it's not very exciting.Well, Miss R. has taken one step forward and a few steps back in the potty training arena. And if she doesn't stop trying to clog up the toilet with wipes and paper I'm going to scream!I have to go to a general surgeon. I have a sebaceous cyst on my left breast, near the cleavage. I've had this cyst for years and never had a problem. The other day it ruptured and got infected. It's DISGUSTING!!W.'s mouth and lack of thinking before speaking has gotten him into trouble again. I got a phone call from a neighbor at 6:50 am this morning because of something he said to his son yesterday. I am not happy.I am half way through Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince. I have seen movies 1 and 2 and read book 3 and half of book 4, seen movies 3, 4, and 5. I thought to myse...
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Pulling The Plug
2007-08-03 15:12:00
My daughter, R., is the baby of the family. She has two older brothers. This being said, as you can imagine, she believes she is the Princess. And sometimes she is, 'cause really most of the time she's so darn cute you just want to eat her up. But she's also a force to be reckoned with when things don't go her way. This is especially true when the Queen of the house, that would be me, thinks she needs her tiara adjusted. That's when Little Miss Princess will buckle down for the fight.Now, R. is a stubborn child who must do things on her terms. She'll be 4 in October and she has JUST finally potty trained. She had been refusing to use the potty until about two weeks ago when she did a complete 360. I don't know why the change of heart, it was, I believe, because she wanted to and for no other reason. Quite honestly, I really don't care why she did it, I'm just happy that I don't have to spend money on diapers anymore!The next hurdle we need to jump is getting rid of the bin...
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Mattel Recall
2007-08-02 14:58:00
There is a massive recall of some Mattel toys. The recall includes popular Dora, Diego, Elmo, and Big Bird toys. The toys were made in China and they have found that they contain excessive amounts of lead. The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission has advised to take away these toys from your children immediately, as it can cause adverse health effects if the lead is ingested.You can visit the Mattel website to see the products included in the recall. The list has pictures of the particular toys here: http://service.mattel.com/us/recall/. You may have trouble accessing the website as there is a ton of traffic that the server can't handle. If you have a problem, you can also visit the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's recall list here: http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml 07/07257.html. This list includes the product numbers, however, there are no pictures.My suggestion is to keep trying Mattel's list. It was a lot easier to compare toys after seeing the pictures.Aft...
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And The Parents Of The Year Award Goes To....
2007-08-01 15:33:00
I guess the Schmitty kids are getting bored with summer vacation already. It's been extremely humid and they don't want to play outside. They do, however, want to run through the rooms screaming like banshees, play WWF as they use my furniture to jump off of and dive onto each other, and they especially want to fight like cats and dogs!We had one such a day like that last week. I tried, I really TRIED, to keep them occupied. Everything turned into a fiasco. Let's play a game, W. turned into a sore loser. Let's color, T. and R. fought over the same crayon, the green one that we have about ten of. Let's cool off in the kiddie pools, nope it's, "toooo hooooot" (notice the whine). Go read a book, "I donnnnn't waaaaaant toooooo", you see the pattern.At this point, I am thinking to myself, "You idiot, you just HAD to use the video games as punishment yesterday, didn't you?"By the time Mr. Schmitty came home from work I wanted to run, screaming from the house, never to return.He sa...
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All is ok, well most of it anyway
2007-02-03 17:35:01
My mom passed all of her tests with flying colors. Her stress test was normal as well as the echo, enzyme test, etc. The EKG could have been "off" because her electrolytes were somewhat wacky. She is just waiting to see if they release her tonight. The doctor who admitted her, of course, is not on duty. They contacted him and he said HE wanted to see her and all of the findings before he let her leave. He then said he wasn't sure if he would see her tonight or not. He didn't know if he'd be coming in to the hospital. It's Friday night, I'm sure he knows. Nothing like keeping her hanging. I am so fed up with the way hospitals and doctors conduct themselves. The past two days were exhausting. THEIR time is so precious, but us? HA! We can wait, and wait, and wait. They could care less. I'm just grateful all is well. Though I know my mother, all of her tests came back fine, which means she DEFINITELY won't be "kicking the habit" anytime soon. I guarantee she will have the cigare...
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4-Legged Trooper
2007-02-02 17:34:01
W. had a pack meeting for cub scouts tonight. I usually stay home and let Mr. Schmitty witness the chaos of 30 elementary school-aged boys. I don't know how the den mothers do it. I start to shake about 5 minutes after arriving to a meeting. I think I cramp W.'s style too, I just can't keep my mouth shut when he isn't behaving properly. I see him doing something he shouldn't and I want to grab and throttle him. It's amazing how much I see and how much nobody else sees. Maybe it's just me but from my perspective the kids turn into lunatics, mine included. I probably just need to lighten up but I know I can't do it, I'm not cut out for that sort of thing all of the time. So, I usually stay home with the little ones unless it is something really big. It's better that way. W. isn't getting "the look" every few seconds and my blood pressure stays at an even keel. Well tonight was something really big. Mr. Schmitty helped arrange for a state trooper to come in with his "partne...
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Say a little prayer
2007-02-02 17:34:01
Hi all. I'm on my way back to the hospital. My mom was taken in by ambulance yesterday. She wasn't "feeling right" for a few days. She had been feeling very anxious and wanted to get checked out. The hospital did an EKG and compared it to one she had 4 years ago. There is a difference between the two so they feel she "may" have had a mild heart attack. This could have happened anywhere from 2002 to yesterday. So, needless to say after sitting in the ER from 11 am - 5:30 pm they finally got her a room. All of her vitals are fine, she's had no other issues (chest pain, shortness of breath, etc.) She is a heavy smoker, which we are DEFINITELY going to deal with when this is all over. Not that she wants to hear that from me, but too bad. I keep throwing my kids in her face and I won't feel guilty about that if it gets her to quit. Anyway, they are doing a stress test, probably as I'm typing this. Mr. Schmitty, T., R., and I are going to go visit and after school if she is still the...
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I really should know better
2007-01-30 17:32:02
The boys were really wound up tonight. At dinner they kept goofing around and poking each other. I said to Mr. Schmitty, "We really need to get some sort of collars for them." Mr. Schmitty: "What kind of collars?" Mrs. Schmitty: "You know, like those dog ones. Except they get a shock every time they touch each other." I should have kept my mouth shut. I just can't help but give them ammunition, can I? In sync they began poking each other and then stiffening up, crossing their eyes, and making loud buzzing noises. I almost choked on my london broil and wet my pants. If they ever came out with collars like that, my kids would fry their brains in minutes.
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Peacocks BEWARE!
2007-01-30 17:32:02
an-tique: Pronunciation: (")an-'tEk: a relic or object of ancient timesvin-tage: Pronunciation: 'vin-tij: dating from the past; oldI did a Google search today. Those were the dictionary definitions of the words I found to describe every picture I came across of this:It is an Antique or Vintage School Desk with an Inkwell.W.: "Mom, when you were in school did you use an inkpen?"Mrs. Schmitty: "What's an inkpen?"W.: "You know, those pens. The ones you dipped in the ink that was on your desk."Mrs. Schmitty: "OOHHH. Sure, now I remember. On the way to school every morning, I even plucked my own bird feathers to use as the pen."W.: "Cool! You did?"Mrs. Schmitty: "Oh for God's sake, how OLD do you think I am?!"UPDATE:This morning there was a commercial on tv for "Life Alert" (the necklaces the elderly wear so if they need medical assistance all they do is push the button).T.: "Mommy, grandma has one of those."Mrs. Schmitty: "Yes, she does."T.: "You should get one."I am on my way out t...
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