It's A Schmitty Life

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My 500th Post!
2011-03-26 11:19:00
I can't believe it.I have written 500 entries and placed them on this blog since I started it on January 4, 2007.4 years ago?Wow. Time does fly.In honor of this milestone, I read through my entries. I laughed. I cried. I remembered.So, today, I would like to share some of my favorites with you. Most of the posts are funny. A few are not. But they all are a part of me.I hope you enjoy the memories as much as I did.Dating AgainA Special Ingredient?EyesThey Can't Possibly Make A Display Case Large EnoughLike A Scene In A Romance NovelIf You Give A Child A Bar Of SoapI Should Really Think These Things ThroughAnd This Is What I Have To Live WithSo I Gave Birth To An Axe MurdererWhooooo Are You? Who? Who?He'll Fall For Just About AnythingSuch A Little LadyI Hope HE Didn't Teach HER That!Vengeance Is Mine!The Laughs Just Keep ComingFlip Flops Should Come With A DisclaimerNevermind A Beep, We Need A BLEEP!Proof That I Am A Reincarnated Adolescent BoySuperballs and Bouncy BallsLearning T...
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I Wonder How Long It Will Take Him To Notice
2011-02-15 18:21:00
It's no secret that Mr. Schmitty and I take pleasure in busting each other's chops. Our marriage thrives on laughter and what could be more entertaining than poking fun at your significant other? Thus, every once in a while, when things get a bit stressful and a bit too serious around here, I find the need to amuse myself.I have a bit of a twisted, child-like sense of humor. It doesn't take much for me to double over in sheer cackling delight.In other words, I can be completely immature.For instance, when I needed a little pick me up, all it took was the hubby's cell phone and I was happy again. And I will never forget the fun I had with this one!Finding pleasure at Mr. Schmitty's expense can be a total euphoric experience.It's a regular Romper Room around here at times, I tell you. Well, Romper Room with a dash of slapstick comedy teetering on the inappropriate.Okay, so some of it is COMPLETELY tasteless but we get each other, so it works.Lately, I've been in the mood for s...
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Eh, I Don't Care Why You Click It, Just "LIKE" Me!
2011-01-20 15:47:00
If you have a Facebook page, you probably know that there are a ton of groups, causes, and such that you can follow, simply by clicking on "LIKE".If you don't have a Facebook page, you probably have no idea what I am talking about, in which case, you are excused from reading this post. Now, go directly to Facebook and jump into 2011, um, k? Oh, and don't forget to "LIKE" "It's A Schmitty Life".Anyway.....I have a tendency to "LIKE" many things, such as; Sutter Homies, Moms who need wine, and OMG I so need a glass of wine or I'm gonna sell my kids.I think I'm detecting a pattern here.I'm not just about the wine though, really. I follow important stuff too; A Day for Hearts: Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Day, Marching for Maddie, and Violence Unsilenced.See? I'm not a complete waste OR completely wasted, for that matter.But I've got a question for you. Did you ever "LIKE" something and not know what you were, well, LIKING?(P.S. I just looked up LIKING on Dictionary.com. Ha...
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My Favorite Pictures From 2010
2011-01-11 21:34:00
See? They don't always fight, sometimes, they just love each other!R. and two of her BFFs walking in the mall.So freaking cute!W. dressed up for his music class concert.The theme was Chills and Thrills.T. does NOT like his picture taken. That expression? It totally captures how he is feeling about posing for yet another picture.We did a lot of swimming this past summer. R., a whopping 34 lbs., had enough floats on her to keep an elephant from drowning.The release of our butterflies. We watched over 30 caterpillars transform into beautiful Painted Ladies.T. allowed for this picture because he was in hiding.This shot made the 2010 Christmas card.Another picture from our butterfly release. This one loved R. and stayed with her for over an hour before it flew away.W.'s self portrait done in shadow.A rare smile caught with my camera. AND he knew I was taking his picture. Imagine that!This photo also made the 2010 Christmas card. I think my daughter looks so sweet and precious here.W.'...
More About: Pictures , Photos , Year in Review

Resolutions, Smezolutions
2011-01-07 16:18:00
So, how many of you have given in and made a New Year's Resolution? Or better yet, we are 7 days into 2011, how many of you have KEPT those resolutions so far?How many have not?See, I decided this year there will be no positive resolutions; no commitment to a Mrs. Schmitty overhaul. I'm simply not going to make any promises that I can't keep.In other words, there will be no writing checks my ass can't cash.Year after year I gear up for the new me to emerge. I will lose weight, I will get in shape, I will be more healthy, I will save more money, I will pay down more debt, I will organize this house, I will spend more time with family and friends, I will take more time for myself, I will, I will, I will."HA!" I say.Each and every one of those resolutions? EPIC FAIL.Why kid myself when usually the opposite of what I say I will do actually happens? Why set myself up for a fall that is clearly inevitable?That's too depressing, right?Instead, I believe a little reverse psychology is ...
More About: Holidays , Resolutions

There's One In Every Group
2010-12-15 17:09:00
My middle child, T., is the smartypants of our clan. Count on him to be the one to antagonize, instigate, throw a zinger of a comment here and there, and basically be the master of pushing buttons.He loves to torment, especially his little sister.Case in point, R. made a craft foam ornament at school. It was an adorable gingerbread girl. I removed it from her school folder and told her what a great job she had done on it.Isn't it cute?We have two Christmas Trees in our house. Our family tree, which is in the living room, and a small 4 foot tree we keep in our computer room that the kids call "Their Tree". R. wanted to place her ornament on "Their Tree" as soon as she finished her homework. I placed the little gingerbread girl on the dining room table where her brother, T., was also seated doing homework.That is where I made my mistake.As in grand T. fashion, the minute R. and I weren't looking, well, he went to work...and did this:See what I'm up against?A few weeks ago, I purcha...
More About: Kids , Funny Pictures

A Retraction, An Apology, and A Lesson Learned
2010-12-09 15:25:00
Once upon a time there was a woman who completely made an ass of herself. You see, this woman has a major flaw in her personality. When she gets pissed off she has a tendency to vent before thinking. She says things, that really, if she cooled off first and gathered her thoughts, well, she would never say them in the first place.That woman? Well, she'd be me.It was recently brought to my attention that I, once again, blew off steam without using my brain cells. In essence? I stuck my size 8 1/2 foot into my ginormous mouth.About a year and a half ago, I wrote on It's A Schmitty Life, about someone who had angered me. I addressed an incident that had taken place that I was less than thrilled with. And while I will not apologize for the fact that I was unhappy and do feel that I had every right to be, I will apologize for the way that I reacted.I was basically rude, obnoxious, and mean. All the things I hate to see in people. All the things I claim not to be.And I did it all here on...

What Happens To An Unemployed Elf?
2010-12-07 10:31:00
On Facebook, everyone was talking about the Elf on the Shelf. This little Elf would bring happiness to the lives of all parents across the globe, simply by sitting on a shelf in your home.The Elf comes with a storybook which explains that he is sent from the North Pole to watch and make sure that all the children are being nice instead of naughty. At night, when all are asleep, he reports back to the boss man, aka Santa, and gives him the scoop. In the morning, the Elf returns to the home and hides, only to be found by the joyful children who live there; so excited are they to know of his return."Oh, how could I get this wonderful Elf to come to stay at the Schmitty house?" I wondered, thinking I too could experience a holiday full of rainbows and unicorns.I searched and searched and finally, I found him. Our Elf we would name Spencer.He took his spot on a shelf in our dining room where he was discovered by my children. We read the story and I waited to see the world around me brigh...
More About: Holidays , Kids

The Holiday Card
2010-11-28 00:30:00
Every year, usually around August, I begin to plan how my Holiday card will look.Yes, August.You see, I have a reputation to uphold. It seems that some of my husband's relatives can't wait to see what I will come up with. He has one aunt who, after receiving it in the mail, displays it promptly on her refrigerator. It is the only card, she says, that she will place there.I feel so flattered and quite honored.Yet, with this honor, there is a feeling of pressure. Can I think of something cool? Can I top last year's card?Here are some of my favorites from past years:2001: This one pulls at my heartstrings. Our card that year was a tribute to those lost on 9/11.2002: This card was created by my oldest, W. He drew a picture of our family. Notice the baby in my belly, which, of course, was T.2006: I think this is my absolute favorite. I got creative with Photoshop. The quote inside the card read, "The children were nestled all snug in their beds".2008: This card took us FOREVER to ...
More About: Holidays , Contest , Card

The Quail-Lady Almost Ruins Christmas
2010-11-15 18:10:00
The woman who delivers our mail makes me giggle every day.She is a petite woman who wears a floppy hat, much like this one, which I believe is at least a size too large for her.The hat alone is not what makes me chuckle. It's also the way she scurries.Yes, I said scurries.Have you ever seen a quail run? That is EXACTLY the way she makes her way across the lawns as she delivers the mail.Much like this:I watch her going from house to house and I just can't help thinking she looks like a little quail the way her legs move at such a rapid pace.It cracks me up.I've dubbed her the Quail-Lady instead of the Mail-Lady.I've told you before, I'm twelve.Now, I love the Quail-Lady because she amuses me and makes me smile. However, I do have a bone to pick with her.Santa called and said that he needed to send me something to hold on to for Christmas . He informed me that he would be sending the items to a friend who lives close by.You know, so none of the Schmitty kids could "accidentally" o...

PMDD Can Suck It
2010-11-09 00:42:00
I have PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder).I have read that PMDD is PMS times a zillion.That was a quote from a doctor, not someone who suffers from PMDD.I quite agree with that doctor.Actually, I think that doctor is an absolute genius.Today my PMDD is rearing its big, fat, ugly head.You may have heard of the funny meanings of PMS; Pass My Shotgun, Pester My Spouse, Potential Murder Suspect.But what about PMDD?Popping My Depression Drugs, Pardon My Detestable Demeanor, or Probable Murder; Downright Defendable seems most fitting.It's days like this that make me totally okay with the fact that some animals eat their young and certain insects kill their mates.
More About: Health , Suck

Stressed? Add Some Comic Relief!
2010-11-03 14:49:00
The Schmitty house (aka the Schmitt house, which we will use solely for this post) has been pretty stressful lately.Mr. Schmitty has been stressed with work. W. has been stressed with homework and studying. T. and R. have been stressed with each other. And I? Well, I've been stressed about EVERYTHING.There have been few laughs exchanged with one another. We have been at each other's throats and it's really getting on my last nerve.Dinners around here are a nightmare. I hate planning meals because SOMEONE will always complain about the menu. R. can't sit long enough to eat her food while it's still warm. The boys can't stop being obnoxious and rambunctious.Its enough to make me want to scream. Well, I do scream. A Lot.So last night I sat down, determined to have a nice conversation with my family, while we ate."Mom," said W., "Guess what I'm reading about for school."I took a few guesses and then asked him to tell me."The witch trials!""Very cool!" I said.He talked a little mo...
More About: Comic , Kids , Family Time , Relief

In A Perfect World....
2010-10-30 14:11:00
My son T. likes to make books with his little sister. I found this one on the kitchen counter yesterday morning.The story and illustrations pulled at my heartstrings. Bullying seems to be in the forefront lately; it's on the news, on the covers of magazines, I hear of my children's friends being tormented, and I have been dealing with the issue in my own household.I, myself, was bullied as a child and know the hell a bully can put you through.Maybe some day tolerance and acceptance will allow for an outcome, like my son has portrayed in his story, for everyone.We can only hope and pray.
More About: World , The World , Perfect

The Incident
2010-10-25 20:14:00
Mr. Schmitty and I are lucky enough to have really, REALLY great friends. Our best friends, specifically, well, we'd be lost without them.Now, to backtrack a bit, the relationship we have with this couple has a history. And before any of you start grinning, get your minds outta the gutter....we don't "SWING" that way.Mr. Schmitty and Mr. F. have been best friends since they were young children. Their families were close and they pretty much grew up together.I met Mr. Schmitty the summer before Senior year of high school. I met Mr. F. the same summer, however, on a different occasion. We talked, they talked, we found out we all knew each other, small world, blah, blah, blah.I then dated Mr. F. for about a year and a half. We attended the Senior Prom together. Mr. Schmitty, who was not only Mr. F's best friend, but had become mine, went to the Senior Prom with MY best girl friend in high school.We liked to keep each other close.So, long story short......Mr. F. and I broke up, he da...
More About: Friends

Me? Versatile? Who Woulda Thunk It?
2010-10-03 11:52:00
Through blogging I have "met" a lot of people over the past few years. Some of these people I have come to consider friends.I know that we've been told to be careful when "talking" to strangers on the Internet. And I am.I don't give out my address and other vital, personal information to just any random stalker/serial killer. I'm very picky.Hey, it's just the way I am.There are a select few women that I have come to love. And, seriously, I am not worried that they are lying about their identities.I don't believe they are actually big, fat, hairy, men just looking for a victim. I don't envision them sitting behind their computer screens sweating and Tweeting to me as they play our eleventy-thousandths Words With Friends game.How could they be? We have been bantering back and forth for a few years now, so if they wanted to come murder me, well, THAT would have been done a long time ago.RIGHT?!*looks over shoulder*Anyway, I learned last week that one of those women likes me too. ...
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Shouting From The Rooftops
2010-09-22 16:24:00
This is me when I was 25 years old.(Yea, I know, I was emulating Farrah.)I am holding my niece Candace.This is Candace all grown up.My beautiful niece is now 25 years old.Here she is with her baby, Rob.The oldest cousin and the youngest cousin.Candace is holding my baby.And this.....this is a photo of Candace's BABY!I shall now resume crying tears of joy.

Flip Flops Should Come With A Disclaimer
2010-09-16 18:05:00
This is not the post I set out to write today. I was going to write about (i.e. mock) one of my children. But apparently, there is some bitch named Karma out there and she cut me off at the pass.So, seeing as I am totally able to ridicule myself as well as I can the next guy, I am changing the subject of today's post.No matter what my kids may say, I am fair.This morning started out glorious. The kids got ready for school on time AND without me even so much as threatening to beat them. The sun was shining and it was a cool 63 or so degrees.Perfect walking weather.My two younger ones grabbed their backpacks and I slipped on my flip flops.(cue music: dun-dun-dun)We headed out the door, stopping once to pick up our neighbors, before continuing on our way.My daughter and her best friend, holding hands, frolicked ahead of us. They were greeted at the corner by their third BFF and their group was complete. The "Bad Girls", as they have declared themselves, (that, my friends, is another p...
More About: Clumsy

Is It Possible To Choose What You Come Back As?
2010-09-07 18:36:00
Because if it is.....I want to be reincarnated as this full of attitude cat!Just so you know, that last part? I'm SO NOT doing that!
More About: Funny Videos , Back

Just Tie The Noose Around My Neck
2010-09-02 20:15:00
The Schmitty household is a very "connected" household.You can usually find one or more of us, at any given time, connected to the Internet, to an iPod, to a DSi, to a cell phone, and/or connected to an Xbox or a Wii.Some might say we are technologically savvy. Others may say we need to disconnect.I agree with them both.So, periodically, I make my kids shut off the electronics and I, GOD FORBID, ask them to have some family time. I have even been known to coax Mr. Schmitty into putting down the remote once in a while. I then get him to engage in some good old fashioned games and activities.Heh.Around here we like to color a lot and just recently we assembled a 750 piece puzzle on the dining room table. Mr. Schmitty and I like games such as Rummikub and we are currently hooked on Bananagrams. On the weekends we will even crack open a bottle of wine with our friends and play *dirty word Bananagrams a few rounds.*Okay, that was only once because the wine flowed a little too freely that...
More About: Games , Family Time

Who Wants A Hundred Bucks?
2010-08-24 17:20:00
Who doesn't, am I right?!Well, I'm not giving you a hundred smackeroos. I'm Broke.Uh-huh, with a big 'ol capital B.But what I am doing is hosting the Blog Her $100 Question! BlogHer has asked me to supply them with a question and all you have to do is visit my post on their site, sign in or register, and answer my question in the comment section (make sure your contact email is up-to-date). You have until 5 p.m., Thursday, August 26, to be eligible and then the great ladies at BlogHer will enter all the comments into a randomizer and choose one lucky winner! You can read the official rules here.That's easier than hitting that Staples button. Because really, who even owns one of those? And the best part of all of this? It won't cost me a cent.LOOOOOVE that!Now, you are probably thinking, "What's the question, ALREADY?!" Okay, keep your shirt on!Sheesh.Do you truly LIKE your children's friends?Loaded question, I know. But don't worry, I won't out you, I promise. *fingers cros...
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During Our Summer......
2010-08-11 04:46:00
We Vacationed,Enjoyed Ice Cream,Created,and Celebrated.We (glitter) Tattooed,Marveled at Nature,and Did a Little Fishin'.We Slippedand We Slided.We Dove,Floated,Cooled Off,And just had a ball!So, What Did You Do?
More About: Fun , Summer , Family Time

It's Not Delurking Week...But I'd Love To Hear From You!
2010-07-28 16:01:00
Tap. Tap. (on the microphone)Is this thing on?Silence.Heeeelllllooooo?!Crickets.Is anyone out there?My last post, obviously was a failure. Not ONE comment.Did you all protest because I was picking on Mr. Schmitty's feet? FYI - He loved the post. Really, he did! He thought it was hilarious!!So, no harm, no foul.Or are the Internets too busy soaking up the sun and enjoying this hotter than hell summer to be sitting at their computers reading blogs?To this I say, great! Just remember your sunblock!Or worst yet, have I lost all of my loyal readers? Has this blog completely turned to fluff?I don't like fluff. Mushy marshmallow on bread? Yuk.Please let me know that someone is still with me. Tell me that you are lurking and still like me.Throw me a bone, people!Please?!
More About: Love , Blogging , Hear , Week

Honey, E.T. Would Have Called, But You Stole His Finger
2010-07-23 15:24:00
My mother-in-law likes to reminisce about days gone by. She especially likes to talk about her children and I love hearing about Mr. Schmitty as a youngster.One particular story involves a bit of a fetish.As a child, my husband, well, he had a bit of an obsession, with his feet.That obsession may have been the result of having to wear special shoes on his feet every night. Those shoes had a metal bar between them that would keep his feet from turning inward.Poor guy. Can you imagine night after night, lying in bed, on your back, with your feet restrained?!Um, wait...oh nevermind.Anyway, my mother-in-law believes that because of this, Mr. Schmitty became very protective of his feet. He wanted no one and I mean NO ONE to see them.Once, he was using the toilet, and like most children, he peed with the door to the bathroom left wide open. His aunt yelled from the other room that she could see his hiney. His answer? "But you can't see my feet!!!"I also recall hearing that he bathed with...
More About: Honey , Body Parts

Wanting Better For Her
2010-07-12 17:36:00
I was a tomboy in my youth. I could take on almost any boy in the neighborhood. And I could whoop his butt.That's what I envied about the boys. They'd have a disagreement, they'd tussle, and then they'd move on like nothing ever happened.Not with girls. Girls can be mean. And those that are know how to drag a battle out and they usually bring in reinforcements.Back then, I didn't know how to handle that. Hell, even now, I'm not so sure I could.Unlike when I was around boys, if you placed me in a group of girls, I became a shy, much walked upon doormat. I was a total wuss because I wanted them to like me. I wanted nothing more than to feel included.I usually wasn't.Oh, I had my best friend. She was one of those girls that everyone loved. She was so full of personality that you couldn't help but be drawn to her. When I was with her, what others thought didn't matter.But, unfortunately, she didn't go to my school. So, in school, I was on my own. In 7th grade I became part of...
More About: Life Lessons

She Can't Get Enough
2010-06-27 22:58:00
Thud!THUD!THUD!!That sound would be books hitting the hardwood floor in my daughter's room.Every night, as I am saying goodnight to her, she collects a stack of books from her shelves. She climbs up into her bed and after I tuck her in, she proceeds to read each and every book in her pile. As she finishes, she tosses each one over the side of her bed, and onto the floor.THUD!!She has such a tremendous love for her stories. And at 6 years old, she has learned to read one year sooner than both of her brothers.She does really well and I am quite impressed with her. As we say around here, reading is her thing, just don't ask her to do Math. But that story is for another day.She reads in bed. She reads in the car. She reads in the loo. She reads walking up and down the aisles at the grocery store (that was fun and quite a sight). She even reads twirling around in the living room. Yes, that's right, she sometimes twirls as she reads aloud to whomever will listen. Being prone to motion ...

NJ State Trooper Marc Castellano
2010-06-12 14:32:00
I never want to see a NJ State Trooper approach my front door unless my husband is home.Without words being spoken, I would know. I would crumble.My world would crumble.When I first heard of the tragic accident, one that never should have happened, that took the life of NJ State Trooper Marc Castellano on Sunday, June 6th, I was at home. I heard the news from my husband.After exhaling the breath I was holding, I felt a moment of relief.Relief that my husband does not work on Sundays. Relief that he was not involved in the chaos that transpired that day.And then my heart immediately grew heavy.My husband told me that this young man, who was a mere 29 years old with only 5 years on the job, was leaving behind a wife, a four year old daughter, and a one year old son.I could never imagine the sorrow that his wife must be feeling.As I type this, my husband, wearing his dress uniform and his polished leather and brass, is helping lead the procession as Trooper Castellano is laid to rest.P...
More About: Rest In Peace

Because You Apparently Need A Diagram, Here It Is
2010-06-01 01:24:00
Dear Parents of students in my children's school,You are probably wondering what this diagram represents. If you scroll down, you will see that I have labeled certain areas within the diagram.This is a diagram of the front of our school. Granted, it is a somewhat bland drawing, however, artistic ability does not matter in this instance.I have labeled the school, itself, the walkway that leads to the front door, the sidewalk, the crosswalk, and the street.Basic and to the point, no?You might now be wondering what those colorful rectangles are at the bottom right of the diagram.No, they are not pieces of confetti from a ticker tape parade we had in your honor. Let me elaborate:1 - 4: These images represent random cars on **** Ave. between 8:30 and 8:45 in the morning.1-3 have let their children out across the street from the school, some on the wrong side of the car, right into the middle of the street. Said cars have then moved on without a second glance back and tried not to drive ...
More About: School

I Really Could Have Used This Information To My Advantage
2010-05-18 17:51:00
My sister, who is older than me, (which is a point that has absolutely nothing to do with this story. I just like to remind her that she is indeed, older. Who cares that it's only by 11 months. And by the way, Happy Birthday!) was a freshman in high school when she had her first seizure.K. has cerebral palsy.We believe that there were some errors made in her delivery which may have caused the damage to certain areas of her brain. This damage does impact her physically. Her limitations are muscular and affect her legs and her right hand.Her cerebral palsy does not hinder her mental capacity. At all. She has never had any learning disabilities and is quite honestly, extremely smart. She's got a photographic memory that amazes me.However, because of the scarring on her brain tissue, she began having seizures as she approached puberty.I remember, clearly, THAT morning.She was finishing up her breakfast of scrambled eggs. She stood and suddenly, down she went. She began to convulse.I b...
More About: Movies , Information , Family Time

I'm A Lucky Lady, In More Ways Than One
2010-05-11 20:46:00
Our elementary school's PTA Installation Dinner and Chance Auction was held on April 30th. Again, I was on the committee and after working my fingers to the bone, I attended my big night out on the town.I look forward to it, it's a yearly thing for me. Yeah, I know, I need a life.It's a fun night of friends, food, and drink. And of prizes; well, for some of us.I won five baskets!!!But with winning, there comes a price and needless to say, I felt the dagger eyes being thrown my way. This year there were even a few snarls coming from my own table! Some get so mad when they don't win. And if someone around them wins more than once? WOW!I once got pelted with a piece of salt water taffy! Those PTA moms can be brutal.What a few don't understand is this; in order to win, you've got to spend a decent amount of money. You know, increase your odds. I always drop some bucks. Like I said, this is my big night out for the year. Again, I know, I'm lame.But it's all good. They let me live...
More About: Holidays , Family Time , Lady , Mother , Lucky

He Needs Spell Check and His Teacher, Probably Some Smelling Salts
2010-04-29 13:31:00
My two youngest children are learning like crazy this year at school. They have both learned how to read. And T. is beginning to spell.They are like little sponges.It's amazing to watch how quickly they catch on. One day they can barely sound out the word cat and the next day they are reading books to me.It is quite awesome.T. had homework last week that involved measuring area. He was to draw a shape and then place pennies within that shape. Next he needed to record how many pennies were able to fit inside the shape.He wanted NO help in spelling any of the words.Next he needed to compare the pennies to the space quarters would take up. Could he fit more pennies in the shape or more quarters?Is it me or does that "n" seem to illustrate his answer?
More About: School , Check , Teacher