Deutschland uber ElvisDeutschland uber ElvisTeaching the Germans to party since 2007--no, not THAT party. Personal blog of a late-out gay guy posted from New York to Munich. Juggling a lover in Tokyo and family in Australia. Organised religion pisses him off. Articles
Geek Antiques
2008-04-11 15:17:00 Where is he gay today? Adamstown, PARight now, I?m looking at some toy furniture from 1959. The boxes are labelled Mattel Modern. The blub explains how this furniture suits those new-fangled, dressable 9-inch dolls. Not long after, one of those dolls went trash-glam. Her dream-furniture turned dream-pink, and she needed a dream-garage for her dream-campervan and dream-Corvette. As well, her dream-bed turned into a single, because she checked in her pal Ken's pants. The price tag reads a hefty $950 for the set. Elsewhere in this gigantic antique store (an old hat factory), you can buy the real thing for less.Master Right and I are partial to the odd antique. That?s why we chose to visit Adamstown, which bills itself as America?s Antique Capital. In a store like this, I generally riff through the old books while he scours the building for decorative arts. Alas, the town is a place for really serious collectors?most of the value in such stuff goes way over my head. Let's p... More About: Geek , Antiques , Amerika
Echoes of Albert, Part Two.
2008-04-10 13:32:00 Where is he gay today? Princeton, then a B&B in eastern PennsylvaniaGimme a good bookshop, five hours, and fifty bucks. You?ve got yourself a happy man.I?m a sucker for first editions, especially those signed by the author. It?s my only real passion as a collector, though the collection itself is a slender one. Imagine my delight at the Labyrinth Bookshop in Princeton. Of course, you?d expect great bookshops in a university town, but since Amazon undercut them all, quality booksellers are doing it tough. The university itself owns the Labyrinth, which relieves it of some of the regrettable pressures of commerce.The name Labyrinth is just about the most blatant case of misleading advertising I?ve ever admired seen. The shop is anything but a labyrinth?neat, well-laid-out, easy to find what you?re looking for. Just as important, easy to find what you?re not looking for: the chance encounter with a catchy title, the little known work of a popular author, the deceptively auth... More About: Part , Echoes , Albert
For spacious skies
2008-04-10 12:48:00 Where is he gay today? Under the flight path at Newark AirportA frayed Old GloryVisiting America always makes me uncomfortable. Americans long for a sense of connectedness, but are horribly wary of each other. Every interaction with a stranger seems to be an armed truce. Unless one of the strangers is trying to sell something, of course.As the Australian writer Don Watson notes, Americans often use the words freedom and security as though they were interchangeable. Yet all one needs to do to do is fly somewhere in the USA to know that the two often sit at odds. For a nation which values freedom above all else, in few other countries on the planet are people so pushed around, restricted, controlled, examined, judged, and just plain stiffed. Maybe it's just New York. Or its evil twin, New Jersey. Master Right and I flew in from opposite sides of the world--he from Kobe, me from Munich--and met at Newark Airport. We chose to recover from jet lag at one of the many nearby Econ...
Echoes of Albert
2008-04-09 07:45:00 Where is he gay today? Princeton, New Jersey Master Right and I stand before 112 Mercer Street, Princeton. The front gate sports a sign which says Private Residence. Behind that gate sits a modest frame house, probably Victorian, with a tacky 1970?s Hacienda-style front door. Frankly, it could use a paint job.Does this fixer-upper really need to warn passers-by that it?s not a public building? Apparently so. It is the one-time home of a certain Albert Einstein, who lived there for the final two decades of his life, and where he died in 1955.Princeton is enormously proud to have given Einstein refuge when he fled the Nazis in 1932. But the place shies away from celebrating, arguably, its most famous resident.Einstein wanted it that way. He deplored the cult of personality which developed around him. You?ll see no Einstein Memorials, Einstein Monuments, nor The Story of Einstein Interpretive Visitors? Centre in Princeton.But alas, this is America, and the Celebrity Imperative is hard ... More About: Echoes
Photo Friday: Emotion
2008-03-28 19:50:00 Jodhpur, Rajasthan, in the northwest of India, 2004. More About: Photo , Friday , Emotion
Letter to a Christian friend, number two.
2008-03-24 08:09:00 Thank you for your splendid invitation to have another debate!Now, for those readers who may wish to join in?and I encourage them?let me point out three things.The first is that we both enjoy vigorous discussions on matters of importance, and have since a young age. For you, I note that it grows from an intellectually demanding girlhood cultivated in the company of exceptional young women and the smart, articulate adults who surrounded you. For me, I grew to love intellectual debates because, in my family, we weren?t allowed to have emotional ones.The second fact is that you are a believer. I am not. Your faith runs deep, with many levels of nuance and colour. With my limited gifts, I cannot hope to capture them here. Forgive me if I do not do them justice.The third thing is that we disagree, and disagree with the greatest love and respect for each other.Calling bullshit on me.You?re quite right to chide me over that previous post.It?s true, of course, that people don?t abandon reli... More About: Atheism , Christian , Letter , Friend , Secularism
The Great Interview Experiment. Here's Liz, Juan and family.
2008-03-23 19:41:00 Liz's Year in Socks, 2007Neil Kramer, Los Angeles-based freelance writer had a brilliant idea. It's called The Great Interview Experiment .He's a blogger commited to the ideal of blogging; to its inherent open-ness and democracy. The moment you hit the Publish Post button, you're a writer, a someone, a documented life. Those lives make fascinating interview subjects, as much as any writer's life and outlook does. So he has been matching up bloggers to read each other's work, and interview one another on what they read.I got lucky. My first interview subject was Liz, a mom from Richmond, Virginia, in the good-ol' US of A. Just about the coolest mom I've ever met.It took a bit of coaxing to reveal exactly how cool she is. My first question, I admit, was a little blunt. Your life and my life are about as different as it is possible to be. Discuss. She pulled me up on that one. Liz has sure earned her gay cred. She acted as a social worker in NYC in the late eighties, dealing spe... More About: Family , Juan
Wordless Wednesday
2008-03-19 08:43:00 Animator's atelier, Roppongi, Tokyo 2001Wordless Wednesday Home More About: Japan
Chance Encounter with an Old Friend
2008-03-18 16:08:00 There I was. Walking down the street, minding my own business. And what should slap me in the face but a giant cooch!Of course, there was a woman attached. Like most men, I?m programmed to view her as nice, but merely a gift-with-purchase.Coming from a gay guy, you might find that last sentence odd. Isn?t our programming different? In some ways, perhaps. And in some ways, we?re a little less different than we seem.As a confused youth, headbang8 consorted with the fairer sex quite a bit?he certainly gave it the good ol? college try.And why not? What?s not to like?Take tits. I get tits. Could play with tits for days. Bouncy, silly, innocent, tasty, curious, ticklish, fun. Generously-nippled and endlessly unpredictable.Tits have real personality. Think about how they get all dolled up into a nicely cleavaged bust, looking a million dollars, ready to go out and meet the world eye to eye. Think about them when your lover is lying on her back, her breasts at ease?nipples akimbo, pointing ... More About: Chance , Friend , Munich , Encounter
You know, it does look a bit wonky.
2008-03-17 22:07:00 A research centre and library devoted to the famous Munich composer.
Should I trash the War Memorial?
2008-03-15 09:53:00 I own a calendar. Like many calendars of its day, this one has a huge ornamental image on top. The image is an American flag, colours rich and deep, with the flags of the fifty states arranged in a clockwise circle around it. These flags follow the order of accession to statehood, starting with Delaware and ending with Hawaii. My home state of Pennsylvania, though a crucial player in American independence, lagged behind the other colonies in signing on the dotted line. Our rather unremarkable flag hides, anonymously, in sixth place. An exquisitely kerned Pledge of Allegiance sits below the central image.For every day except Sundays, up to and including August 9th,1974, someone has written a single digit number. That day?a Thursday?is marked in red. Thereafter, the hand-written numbers stop.The calendar was a freebie from the American Ex-Serviceman's Association of Australia , South Australia sub-branch, of which my father was a member. Had he not scored it for free, we would have ma... More About: Memorial , Trash , Amerika
Hamburger makes Pizza!
2008-03-14 09:46:00 Jovial fellow expat Ian in Hamburg, is a frequent comment byline on DüE. He's also a total fake, but it's on TV, so that's OK, right?He's Canadian, but in the near-enough-is-good-enough world of showbiz, he's posing as an American pizza chef in a televised international bake-off. This contrived contest aims to decide who makes the world's best pizza--Italians, Americans or Germans. Ian presented TV news in Hong Kong in a previous life, so obviously the producers opted for on-screen poise (and tastiness) over the strict truth.If you live in Germany , catch him tonight on the Galileo Show on ProSieben between 7.00 and 8.00 pm. To prep, read his amusing account of the experience, parts 1, 2 and 3. Part 4 will reveal the winner. I have a sneaking suspicion it might be he. This photo of his handiwork, snaffled from his blog, shows a true conoisseur's pizza. The base an exquisite cowpat shape, and the topping looks as it should; like a mixture of placenta and vomit. How can he lose?... More About: Pizza
Munich elections. A crappi day for Seppi.
2008-03-02 22:02:00 As I so courageously predicted after my first German political rally, honorary fag Christian Ude romped to the finish line in the Munich mayoral elections with over two-thirds of the vote. Seppi Schmid, his hapless conservative opponent, made a poor showing. Bayerische Rundfunk, the Bavarian equivalent of the BBC and the source of the chart above, called his party's performance " a debacle". Not only did Seppi bite the big one, but his party lost about 20% of its seats on the city council.Ah, those conservatives! In a desperate move, they reached for a political weapon they didn't fully understand. Humour. This poster from the conservatives lampoons Mayor Ude for opposing the Transrapid Magnetic Levitation Train project*, which is to link Munich with its airport at the cost of a mere two billion Euros. Ude favours making the current conventional trains run express on a new line, at a fifth of the cost.A thoroughly ludicrous political position for a tax-and-spend lefty, thought the... More About: Elections
Hiding from Google, part two.
2008-03-02 21:07:00 You know, sometimes ideas enter the gooey flow of blogland and gunk up the works.The current gooiest idea is a mild panic about who can see your blog, and what can happen if the wrong people read it. Arizaphale posted on the subject, Maggie picked up the notion, and I commented on it, and now everyone's sleepless over his or her net-anonymity.I actually posted on this subject at my old, now-retired blog. Since the subject has resurfaced, I'll post it again below.I sometimes Google myself, just for safety's sake, and am pleased that the only accidental appearances of my name are in email addresses from a former employer, mainly attached to Amazon.com reviews from many years ago. None of these shame me.In 2008, alas, none of us, really, can hide.I do observe some basic precautions, though. I tend not to write about travel until I return from the trip, to avoid tippng off burglars. Then again, the absence of comings and goings is a rather more reliable indicator for any likely felon... More About: Part
Free, but valuable
2008-02-26 08:11:00 This young couple was handing out free hugs in the centre of Stuttgart. On a mission to cheer up some dour Schwabians, no doubt. Or perhaps just on a lark.I took their picture, thanked them and went about my business. It didn't dawn until much later that I actually might have availed myself of their services. Dammit, I really needed a hug, too. How fucked up am I? How male am I? More About: Germany , Free
And lange, too.
2008-02-26 08:06:00 There's something about the little dot on the i. More About: Germany
Beijing. Are you sure this is Communism?
2008-02-20 09:49:00 Where is he gay today? The Shiguan Mountains, north of Beijing .Shen Jingdong: part of the Hero Series. Not sure of the date."While we admire our heroes, we should question them, too."?We have not renovated ze Great Wall of China?, says Benjamin, our hotel tour guide. ?You can see renovated parts outside ze grounds. Buses go zere, eet eez like, ?ow you say, EuroDisney.?We can forgive him a little snobbery. Benjamin, a French-speaking Swiss, studies at that posh hotel management school in Lausanne. For his first internship, he started at the top?a tour guide for the Commune on the Great Wall, an hour north of Beijing.Our last visit to Beijing proved so miserable, my boss and I decided we would stay outside the city. The Commune consists forty-six villas nestled in two rocky valleys, it claims to be the largest resort in the world. Each villa houses around six guest rooms; the conceit is that strangers must live together, like a real commune. This is nothing more than a conceit, since ... More About: Communism
Authentic. With an accent on the ick
2008-02-13 23:32:00 Where is he gay today? Shanghai "Is the intestine to your liking, sir?"Chinese restaurants in the West are for pussies. They spare us from dishes that insult our reckoning of what animal (or its parts) constitutes acceptable food. We rarely get beyond anything more disturbing than chicken?s feet. And few will broach the downright fucked-up shit. Like Monkey Brains Tartare or Poodle Fricassee.One forgets this, you know. Until you travel to China.Master Right is in Tokyo trying to sell the apartment. So when I had yet another business trip to China, he hopped a flight to Shanghai and joined me.We were staying in the brand new Hyatt on the Bund, in the historic foreigner?s trading settlement. Right had a Japanese guidebook that cited a restaurant which was known for the most authentic Shanghai crab in the district. We looked forward to it; real Chinese food, in its home environment.The rice vinegar was dark and potent?and horribly smelly. The dim sum exploded in your mouth, because aut...
A cry for help
2008-02-08 11:57:00 Dear Abby,I'm all in a tizz! The people I love are tearing each other apart!Betty (not her real name) is my faithful fag hag. We met when cast opposite each other, as Mr. And Mrs MacAfee in a student-theater production of Bye-Bye Birdie.(C'mon boys...how many of you met the hag of your dreams through amateur musicals? Thought so.)I call her my Not-Insignificant Other. And we've enjoyed over twenty years of not-unwedded bliss.To the world at large, she's a successful, attractive forty-something divorcee with degrees in law and business. But she has a dark side. A dark pink side.Betty sports impeccable hag credentials. She smokes like incense, drinks like a drain, and pours obscenity onto the conversation like she pours gravy on mashed potatoes. That is, abundantly.Speaking of abundance, we nicknamed her breasts Hindenberg I and Hindenberg II. Like their namesake, they ceased to defy gravity in a most spectacular way quite some time ago.The two of us even shared a house, Will-an...
Munich. You can't get gayer than the mayor.
2008-02-02 22:00:00 It might happen in San Francisco. It might happen in Sydney. It might happen in Manchester. But most other places in the Englsh-speaking world, getting all the mayoral candidates of a major city in one room, addressing the gay community, would seem pretty far-fetched. In Munich , we fetched it up two Fridays ago.The organisers held the discussion in a pub in Munich's queer quarter, the Pfistfochviertel. Though an utter fag, I don't live in this gay ghetto. You'll find me on the other side of the river, sipping chardonnay with my fellow middle-aged bourgeois in genteel Bogenhausen. Luckily, tram #18 passes by my place, and it makes a beeline for boystown. Master Right and I nicknamed this tram the Vaseline Volvo, and I rode it straight to the pink podium. In Bavaria, the word is par-tay.The candidates arranged themselves stage-right to stage-left, which was pretty much their spread of politics, from what I could gather. The photo shows Professor Michael Piazolo, who represents the ... More About: Mayor
Surfing and Shivering
2008-02-01 05:29:00 I can't believe these guys are still at it, in the middle of winter. Even after the trees have shed their leaves, so they don't hide the signs that warn of imminent death. More About: Surfing , Munich , Hive
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Academy...
2008-02-01 00:53:00 Working in advertising, one can get terribly cynical about awards. If you stand still long enough, someone will give you an award. I have more than my share.On a famous Simpsons episode, local news anchor Kent Brockman takes viewers on a tour of his trophy room. "Twelve Newsies, seven Iron Mikes, four Golden Coifs. And this...this is the most prestigious award ever given by the Del Monte Fruit Company!" he exclaims.Because I work in a creative profession, many years ago a friend asked me to help judge the Australian Swimming Pool of the Year Award. How should I do this? The administrator reeled off a number of criteria, "Innovation, aesthetic qualities, technical challenge, engineering excellence, novel use of materials. And, of course, expensive doesn't hurt."So, it challenges me a little to respond to an award which I actually value. One which is a sincere compliment from a treasured and loyal friend. The marvellous Arizaphale at Where did I put that flaming sword? has dropped an... More About: Academy , Ladies , Gentlemen , The Academy
Munich. It's a gay parallel universe. In pink.
2008-01-21 07:32:00 Pink stays pink stays pink, the headline reads. I assume it's a German interpretation of Gertrude Stein's A rose, is a rose, is a rose. The poster touts two candidates for Munich city council, and reminds us that they act as strong, incumbent voices in the assembly. The pair belong to a political party known as the Rosa Liste, or Pink Ticket. Their message ends with the tag line, Munich. A city for all.It's a gay party. Could you tell?The Rosa Liste boasts of its success in local politics. They get two percent of the vote city-wide, and eleven percent of the vote in the Ludwigvorstadt/Isarvorstadt ward, which contains Munich's major gay neighbourhood, the Bell Brook Quarter. (Or, as we say in German, the Pfistfochviertel. ) The Greens, the Social Democrats, and Rosa Liste form the political coalition which governs Munich. That sounds impressive, especially when you compare it to the paltry gay presence in, say. American government. Uncloseted gay presence, that is.Alas, it's ea... More About: Pink , Universe
Just in case you get loose
2008-01-18 08:10:00 A souvenir of my flight home from Beijing yesterday. Many of you will know how pleased I am to be able to take this picture and make this joke. I was booked on BA38 through London until the day before I left Munich. Luckily, the accountants insisted I take Air China through Frankfurt because it cost less. Thank the universe for cheapskates! More About: Case , Engrish
Beijing: I hope this post looks OK, because I can't read it
2008-01-15 20:16:00 Where is he gay today? Beijing Beijing is cold in more ways than one. There's something mean-spirited about the place.In the course of my first hours in the city, I was ripped off by cab drivers three times. The hotel operator ignored me for thirty minutes on hold. A guard at the Forbidden City menaced me for taking a picture of him. Touts mercilessly hassle us to buy guide-books, designer-label rip-offs, or unspecified services of a salacious nature. Should I purchase a Mandarin phrasebook from one of these tormentors, the first two phrases I'll look up are shut up and fuck off.Pity, really. Wherever I travel on business, I make it a point to take in the local culture. Few people have the privelege to travel to places like Beijing; it's a shame to spend my free time in the bar at some anodyne western-style hotel. But the city has proved so inhospitable that I will forgive myself for beating a hasty retreat home.By the way, I can't check this post to see that it looks all right. ... More About: Post , Read , Hope , Looks
The Silvester, or Repelling Napoleon
2008-01-01 23:04:00 Explosions ring in my ears. Flashes of light blind me. The reek of gunpowder and cordite fills my nose and lungs. Empty shells litter the ground. I dodge a rocket that whizzes past.We live around the corner from the famous Friedensengel, an exquisite gold-leaf statue of the goddess Europa, which commemorates peace after the Franco-Prussian War in 1871. Every Silvester (New Year?s Eve), the police close the plaza around the monument, as well as the broad boulevard that leads up to it. Müncheners use the space to recreate the battle against Napoleon III with rockets, fireworks, sparklers, and other WMDs.That is, they get drunk¸ stick rockets in champagne bottles, and light the fuse with their cigarettes. Now, living in the European Union, I am surprised that the nanny-state hasn?t stepped into protect these tipsy arsonists from themselves.Is this what the 4th of July was like before private fireworks were banned in most American states and municipalities?I feel a little like Francis S... More About: Germany , Munich
Nürnberg. The home of Christmas, Inc.
2007-12-21 18:53:00 People talk about the commercialization of Christmas like it was something new. But the silly season has shrunk our wallets for centuries. The custom of wasting huge wads of cash on tasteless kitsch can be traced back to the traditional German Christkindlmarkt.During advent, wood carvers, wreath-weavers, glass-blowers and seamstresses set up stalls in town squares across Germany to ply seasonal wares. Somebody had the bright idea of throwing spiced wine in a Feuerzangenbowle (a primitive microwave) and selling it to shoppers to fend off the cold. The drunken townsfolk would choose a child, and dress it up as the as the Christmas angel, and get the poor kid to wander around blessing everyone. Or something.Over time, the cities with the biggest and most beautiful town squares naturally attracted the best and brightest merchants. In Bavaria, that city is Nürnberg.My brother, headbang9, his wife Pianissima, and my 9 year-old nephew Stretch visited for the Christmas season. Pianissima ha... More About: Home
Merry Christmas from the Socialists
More articles from this author:2007-12-16 05:26:00 Munich is in the throes of an election campaign this holiday season. It surprised me that the usual flurry of political posters should halt for a week or so, to let the parties wish us a happy holiday. This example comes from The Socialists , represented by wildly popular mayor and one-time cabaret comedian, Christian Ude. For all you American readers, how would you feel if you caught sight of a poster that read Merry Christmas from the Republican Party? Creeeepy. More About: Munich , Merry Christmas 1, 2, 3 |
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