Have Happy Fun TimeHave Happy Fun TimeDiet of Laughter for all. A blog of laughter containing funny clips hot jokes funny jokes funny pictures which you shouldn't miss. 
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Hilarious Lawyer Jokes
2007-12-05 04:23:00 A Lawyer Named Strange:A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer."The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative:He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer." That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That's Strange!"United Way & a LawyerA local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute."Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $700,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did... More About: Jokes , Hilarious
Original And Pirated Movies: The Bitter Truth
2007-12-04 04:33:00 This is what you get when you go for pirated movies instead of original. Even the cover of the cd/dvd you are buying makes you laugh and confirms 100% pirated movies. You can blindly differentiate pirated Movies and original movies like in the funny pictures below.SCARY MOVIEAMERICAN BEAUTYKOREAN MOVIEKILL BILLKUNGFU HUSTLETHE GRADUATE More About: Truth , Original , Bitter , Origin
Coolest Comedy Video clips
2007-12-03 04:43:00 If you can't give up your smoking habit, be cautious after watching this video clip.Believe me Jesus Christ is singing a parody song. This video is hilarious. More About: Video , Comedy , Video Clips , Clips
An Honest Lawyer
2007-12-03 04:38:00 An independent woman started her own business. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in. Pretty soon she realized she needed an in-house counsel, and so she began interviewing young lawyers."As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Peterson, are you an 'honest' lawyer?""Honest ?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my dad lent me fifteen thousand dollars for my education and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case.""Impressive. And what sort of case was that?"He squirmed in his seat and admitted, "My dad sued me for the money." More About: Lawyer
Lawyer Vs Farmer
2007-12-03 04:36:00 A big city London lawyer went duck hunting in rural Scotland. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked the lawyer what he was doing.The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and your not coming over here."The indignant lawyer replied. "I'm one of the best trial lawyers in the UK, and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything that you own.The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Scotland. We settle small disagreements like this, with the Scottish Three Kick Rule."The lawyer asked, "What is the Scottish Three Kick Rule?"The farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth until someone gives up."The attorney quick... More About: Lawyer , Farmer
The farmer and the pig
2007-11-30 14:39:00 A man was out for a walk one day and on his travels he wandered through a farm. Strangely, he saw a pig with a wooden leg! This intrigued him so much that he found the farmer and quizzed him about it.“This is no ordinary pig,” said the farmer. “For example, only two days ago there was a fire in the chicken shed when I was away from the farm. The pig noticed this and immediately went and let all the chickens out into the yard. He then phoned for the fire brigade and came straight back to hold the fire until they arrived!”“And a few weeks ago, I was driving my tractor down a steep hill, when I lost control and the vehicle overturned, knocking me unconscious! The pig saw this, phoned for the ambulance and then rushed to the tractor and pulled me clear of the cab just before it set on fire.” The farmer was just about to launch into another tale when the man said “Yes, yes, but what about the wooden leg?” “Well,” said the farmer, “When you’ve got a pig as goodas t... More About: Farmer
Dealing With A Lawyer
2007-11-29 19:21:00 A New York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?" The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street." Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true.Saint Peter said, "Well , that's fine, but it's not really quite enough to get you into Heaven." The Lawyer said, "Wait Wait! There's more! Three years ago I also gave a homeless person a quarter." Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified.Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, "Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?"Gabriel gave the Lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter,"Let's give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell."A Lawyer StoryThe United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer...
Coolest Lawyer Joke
2007-11-28 04:37:00 Lawyer: I have some good news and some bad news.Client: Well, give me the bad news first.Lawyer: The bad news is that the DNA tests showed that it was your blood they found all over the crime sceneClient: Oh no! I'm ruined! What's the good news?Lawyer: The good news is your cholesterol is down to 130!The Blondes have become smartThere was lawyer and a blonde sitting on a plane together. The lawyer decided to play a betting game with the blonde girl. The rules were simple: they ask each other a question each. If the blonde answers right, she gets $50, and if the lawyer gets the question right he gets 5$. After much insistance, the blonde agreed to play. The lawyer thought that he will win for sure, especially against a blonde.So the Lawyer asked the Blonde the distance between Earth and the Sun. The Blonde did not know the answer, so she handed the lawyer a 5 dollar bill.The Blonde now asked the lawyer: what goes up the hill with two legs and comes down with 3?The lawyer was now pu... More About: Lawyer , Joke
Tech Support Encounters Dumb Customers
2007-11-26 04:56:00 Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?Female customer: A white one...==========================Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.Customer: No,wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on mydesk... sorry....==========================Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.Customer: Your left or my left?===============Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?Male customer: Hello.. I can't print.Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.==========================Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try,it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it infront of the monitor, but the computer still s... More About: Customers , Tech , Dumb , Support , Tech Support
Funniest Photos of all time Part II
2007-11-26 04:46:00 Sorry, for delay on this one, I was feeling lazy to attach the funniest photos of all time. Now without delay here we go with Part II funniest photos. More About: Photos , Time
Optical Illusion
2007-11-26 04:43:00 Heeey..Here is a nice illusion...You think there are all black dotts, but when you focus you will not see it:pjust look at it:p Now, that's called ILLUSION More About: Optical Illusion , Optical , Illusion
Always Listen to friends
2007-11-24 11:35:00 Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near an abandoned gas station. They approached one of the gas pumps, and one of the aliens addressed it."Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."The gas pumps, of course, didn't respond.The alien repeated the greeting. Again there was no response.The alien, annoyed by what he perceived to be the gas pumps haughty attitude, drew his ray gun, and said impatiently, "Greetings earthling. We come in peace. How dare you ignore us in this way! Take us to your leader, or I'll fire!"The other alien shouted to his comrade, "No, you don't want to make him mad!" But before he finished his warning, the first alien fired.There was a huge explosion that blew both of them 200 meters into the desert, where they landed in a heap rather abruptly.When they finally regained consciousness, the one who fired turned to the other one and said, "What a ferocious creature. It damn near killed us! How did you know it was so dangerous?"The other... More About: Friends , Listen
Top 10 reasons to go to work naked
2007-11-23 05:31:00 1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.3. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.5. You want to see if it's like the dream.6. So that with a little help from Muzak you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume.7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.10. No one steals your chair. More About: Work , Reasons
The Rat and Frog
2007-11-22 04:54:00 A drunk walks up to a barkeeper one day and says, "If I show you a trick will you give me a free drink?" The Barkeep says "Depends on how good of a trick it is."The Drunk reaches into his pocket and pulls out a frog and places him behind the piano. The frog starts to play the sweetest jazz riff the barkeeper has ever heard. He pours the drunk his drink.The drunk, after killing his drink says, "If I show you another trick can I have another free one?" The barkeep says "If it is anything like that last one, you can drink free all night." The drunk reaches into his other pocket, pulls out a rat, sets it on top of the piano, and the rat starts scatting along with the frog."Impressed, the barkeeper starts to pour drinks as fast as the drunk can drink 'em. After several hours, a big time Hollywood agent walks in, sees the act and franticaly asks the barkeeper who it belongs to. The barkeeper points to the drunk who is passed out on the floor.The agent wakes him up and says, "I will give ... More About: Frog
Male assertiveness
2007-11-19 04:48:00 A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife so he went to a psychiatrist.The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem, and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home.He had finished the book by the time he reached his house.The man stormed into the house and walked up to his wife.Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?""The funeral director," said his wife. More About: Male , Assertiveness
Gay Man Gets Aids
2007-11-19 04:38:00 A gay man has been sleeping around with all the guys in town, he notices theres something wrong so goes to the doctors for an aids test, unfortunatly the results come back postitve.he asks the doctor"is there anything i can do to stop this"the doctor tells him to eat 4 full cabbages, 25 green chillies, 25 red chillies, lots of curry and the spicyiest indian dishes he can find."But how will this cure aids doctor?" asked the manthe doctor replies "It wont but it'll show you what a fucking arse hole's for!" More About: Aids
Sex With Teacher- Little Johnny
2007-11-18 05:02:00 One day little Johnny comes home one day from school and his mom asks him how his day was.He replies, "Mom, today I had sex with the teacher!"Immediately she was angry. She said, "just wait 'till your dad gets home, he's going to be very mad at you. Go to your room!"So the boy goes to his room and finally his dad is home and comes up to the room. The boy tells his dad and the dad is proud of the boy."Great job son! How old are you 12? 13? How about we go down to the store and get that shiny red bicycle you wanted?"So, they go to the store and the dad buys the bike for his son. Then he says, "well Johnny, do you want to ride the bike home?"The boy answers, " No, that's okay Dad, My ass is still sore!" More About: Teacher
School 1967 Vs 2007
2007-11-18 05:00:00 Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.1967 - Vice principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his own shotgun to show Jack.2007 - School goes into lockdown, the FBI is called, Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors are called in to assist traumatized students and teachers.Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.1967 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.2007 - Police are called, SWAT team arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. They are charged with assault and both are expelled even though Johnny started it.Scenario: Jeffrey won't sit still in class, disrupts other students.1967 - Jeffrey is sent to the principal's office and given a good paddling. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School ...
The Sound Of Music
2007-11-18 04:58:00 A tourist in Vienna goes through a graveyard, and all of a sudden he hearssome music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source.He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with aheadstone that reads: "Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827."Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony, and it is being playedbackwards! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to returnwith him. By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed.This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is beingplayed backwards. Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar.When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, againbackwards. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in thereverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th.By the next day, the word has spread and a throng has gathered around thegrave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being... More About: Music , Sound , The Sound of Music , Sound of Music
The Heat Is On
2007-11-16 04:38:00 A 5 year old girl asked her Mum, "Mum, may I take the dog for a walkdownthe street and back?"Mum replies, "No, dear, she's on heat." The little girl replied,"no she's not sat on anything warm, so can I takeher for a walk"Mum replies " no it's not that kind of heat, its her season time"What does that mean?" asked the child. Mum replies, "Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage." The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for awalk down the street and back? I asked Mum, but she said that Belle was onheat and to come to you to tell me what that meant." As her dad was busy working on an old car he was restoring, which wasn'tgoing too well, he was in no mood to explain the ins and outs of what onheat meant and the 50 WHY questions that would go with it. He sighed, thought for a moment and said, "Bring Belle over here." He took a rag, soaked it with petrol, and scrubbed the dog's backside withit to disguise the scent and said "OK, you can go now,... More About: Heat
Larry's Beer
2007-11-16 04:36:00 A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is being unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anyone who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?" "Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down.Now tell me, where exactly is Larry's Bar?" More About: Beer
Little Johnny: Moral
2007-11-16 04:30:00 Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office,but she belonged to someone else...One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up toher and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let mescrew you. But the girl said NO.Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money onthe floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by thetime you pick it up. "She thought for a moment and said that she would haveto consult her boyfriend... So she called herboyfriend and told him the story.Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up themoney very fast, he won't even be able to get hispants down."So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hourgoes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for hisgirlfriend to call.Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls andasks what happened.She responded, "The bastard used coins!"Management lesson: Always consider a business proposal in its entiretybefore agreeing to it and getting screwed! More About: Johnny , Moral
What Really pissed me off!
2007-11-15 07:58:00 Coming into the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over and confided to the bartender, "I'm so pissed off!""Oh yeah? What happened?" asked the bartender politely. "See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back to her home. We stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and we were just about to make love when her god damned husband came in the front door. So I had to jump out of the bedroom window and hang from the ledge by my fingernails!" "Gee, that's tough!" commiserated the bartender."Right, but that's not what really got me aggravated," the customer went on."When her husband came into the room he said 'Hey great! You're naked already! Let me just take a leak.' And damned if the lazy son of a bitch didn't piss out the window right onto my head?" "Yeech!" the bartender shook his head. "No wonder you're in a lousy mood.""Yeah, but I haven't told you what really, really got to me. Next, I had to listen to them grunting and groaning and when they finished, the... More About: Pissed
Election In US
2007-11-15 06:29:00 Election In US 2008 is getting heated up and of course protests also. Here are some funny pictures about Election in US 2008 More About: Election
Cyber Sex
2007-11-14 04:48:00 Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "Cyber sex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of Cybersex. Then again, maybe he does....Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Wal-Mart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner. It's smells funny.Sweetheart: I want you! Would you like to screw me?Wellhung: OKSweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night tabl...
What you see is not always what you get
2007-11-14 04:42:00 This video is really funny. Just watch and enjoy More About: Always
Jokes For Men
2007-11-14 04:40:00 How many men does it take to open a beer?None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.Why do women have smaller feet than men?It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me . . ."How do you fix a woman's watch?You don't There is a clock on the oven.Why do men fart more than women?Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?The dog of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.I married Miss Right.I just didn't know her first name was Always.I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months:I don't like to interrupt her.What do y... More About: Jokes
Beer Contains Female Hormones
2007-11-13 04:58:00 Beer contains female hormonesLast month, National University of Lesotho scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period.It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:1) Argued over nothing.2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.3) Gained weight.4) Talked excessively without making sense.5) Became overly emotional.6) Couldn't drive.7) Failed to think rationally.8) Had to sit down while urinating.No further testing was considered necessary. More About: Female , Beer , Hormones
Fatal Things To Say To Your Pregnant Wife
2007-11-13 04:55:00 Fatal Things To Say To Your Pregnant Wife 17. "I finished the Oreo's."16. "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs forty pounds."15. "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby."14. "I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever."13. "Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the SuperBowl."12. "Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella."11. "Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt."10. "Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!"9. "I'm jealous. Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?"8. "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"7. "Get your *own* ice cream."6. "Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today."5. "Got milk?"4. "Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney."3. "Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"2. "Retaining water ? Yeah, like the Hoover ... More About: Fatal
7 Life Lessons I Learned Playing Halo
More articles from this author:2007-11-12 14:56:00 Yesterday, I had a blast playing Halo 3 for the first time after hearing so much about the game. It lead me to reflect on the countless hours I’ve poured into the Halo series over the past 6 years. Sure, I might not have much to show for it, but that time was thoroughly enjoyed. In retrospect, I even learned some important life lessons that could help me succeed.1. Hesitation is death - In Halo, nothing will get you cracked on the back of the skull faster than hesitation. The same is true in real life. If you waste time worrying about what your competitors are doing, you’ll never succeed. Sure, if you take a chance you might get burned, but you need to accept that risk and make a move. If you fail, learn from the experience and try again. Success comes from being aggressive and actively seeking opportunities.2. Success requires experience - Obviously natural skill contributes to Halo success, but what really makes a solid player is experience. If you jump into a game without und... More About: Life , Life Lessons , Lessons , Learned 1, 2, 3 |
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