Funny Indian Jokes

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Hidden cameras
2007-07-20 14:17:00
Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room. Jasmeet: "What are you searching for?" Santa: "Hidden cameras!" Jasmeet: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?" Santa: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying, You are watching the Star World channel. How does he know that?"
More About: Cameras , Sardar jokes

Bengali Jokes
2007-07-18 13:10:00
Q : How does the Bong learn the alphabet?A : A for Orange, B for Bhegetable.... :Q : How does a Bong relax in the evening?A : He goes to the Howrah Breez to get some Brij. :Q : What does the Bong do first in the morning?A : After baking up from hees slip, he removes the bed-shit. :Q: What did a Bengali voyeur say to another?A: Keyhollo?Q: What do u call a firebrand Bong?A: Gun-goli.
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Air India
2007-07-10 13:34:00
Surinder's uncle was booked into an SIA flight to Bombay. But as this was his first time in an airplane, he made a few preparations that were out of place. When the stewardess came around to take orders for the in-flight meal, the uncle declared loudly, "I have brought my own lunch. Make sure you don't charge me for food and drinks!" So, as everybody was given their in-flight meal, the uncle began spreading out his own home-cooked meal. The man sitting next to him was an American history researcher, who was curious about the food. "Excuse me, what is that drink?" he asked. The uncle picked up the yogurt-based lassi drink and said, "Milk of India !" The the uncle took out several pieces of chapattis and started feasting. "And what is that dish?" asked the curious American. "Wheat of India!" replied the uncle proudly. Finally, the uncle took out some desserts. He offered some to the American. "What is it?" asked the American. "Sweet of India!" replied the old man. After the m...

Recognizing a Sardar
2007-07-01 14:19:00
You should be sure the person is Sard ar when he:? puts lipstick on the forehead because he wants to make up his mind.? gets stabbed in a shoot-out.? sends a fax with a postage stamp on it.? tries to drown a fish in water.? thinks socialism means partying.? trips over a cordless phone.? takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.? At the bottom of the application where it says ?Sign Here? he puts?Sagittarius.?.? studies for a blood test and fails.? sells the car for gas money.? misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 twice instead.? drives to the airport and sees a sign that said, ?Airport left?, he turns ground andgoes home.? gets locked in Furniture Shop and sleeps on the floor.

Lie detector
2007-06-02 14:12:00
An Englishman, an American and a Sardarji are called upon to test a lie detector . The Englishman says:?I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer?. BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.?Ok?, he says, ?10 bottles?.And the machine is silent.The American says: ?I think I can eat 15 hamburgers?.BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.?Allright, 8 hamburgers?.And the machine?s silent.The Sardarji says:?I think??,BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.
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Identification of Sardar
2007-03-20 13:32:00
You can be sure it is a sardarji when somebody: ? Sends a fax with a stamp on it.? Takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.? Misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 twice instead,? Boards another bus in extreme hurry and upon seeing it is a 23C cut () service, promptly gets down thinking that the bus route is cancelled.? Takes you to the airport and saw a sign that said, ?Airport left?, he turned around and went home.? Got locked in Furniture Shop and slept on the floor.? At the bottom of the application where it says ?Sign Here? he put Sagittarius.?? Studies for a blood test and fails.? Spends twenty minutes looking at an orange juice box because it said ?concentrate.?? Puts lipstick on the forehead because he wanted to makeup his mind.? Gets stabbed in a shoot-out.
More About: Identification , Sardar , Sard

Ghati Jokes
2007-03-18 13:13:00
Ghat jokes ( A little knowledge of Marathi might help )Q : What do you call a Maharashtrian in the U.S.?A : Western Ghat.Q : What does a Maharashtrian mean by "fast food"?A : Sabudana Khichdi.Q : What do you call a Maharashtrian who makes air-conditioners?A : Cool-karni.Q : What do you call a Maharashtrian whose father is missing?A : Ba-gul.Q : What would you call Urmila in the role of a monkey?A : Urmila MakkadTondkar.Q : Which is the highest office occupied by Maharashtrians in the U.S.A.?A : That of the Vice-President - Dan Quayle(Kale) & Al Gore. :
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Punjab Developement
2007-02-25 14:09:00
Once all Sardarji?s clubed together and decided to develop Punjab and theywanted the Punjab as a Developed State. Each of them started giving suggestions ? finally one great Sardarji gavea suggestion with a huge volume ?Lets fight with Indian Government, getfreedom from India then, Declare war on America?. We will be definitely defeated by America and we shall be the part of the America and then theywill obviously develop our punjab also??. ?Wow? the crowd cheered up?.. there was at last a thin voice asking ??..?What about if we win ??
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UP Jokes
2007-02-22 13:43:00
A U.P. Botanist?Agni-hot-tree.a son of 2 fathers .. Dvivedi of 3 fathers .. Trivedi of 4 fathers .. Chaturvedi of 5 fathers .. Pandey of several fathers .. Misra of unknown parentage .. Gupta
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Typical Indian
2007-02-18 14:53:00
Advice to father thinking about whether he should let his daughter continue her studies or get her married : " Vell, if you wantu study her, then study her. If you wantu marry her, then marry her ." An instructor explaining the working of pendulum: "Take an elephant of negligible weight" Instructor: "Take a copper wire of any metal...and pour any liquid solution of sulphuric acid in a round bottom flask of any shape." "Do not smoke and spoil the botany of ur body" He/she's my cousin brother/sister. "You three, both of you kneel down together separately" "Hey, please keep quiet. The president is rotating outside" "I have to put my child to sleep" " Florida paan shop. Prop: Raju . B.A, M.A. " " Don't talk bad in front of my back " Did you cut the ticket, yet? "Entry too entry otherwise disentry" The principal just passed away. Who took out the breeze of my cykill. My cykill is understanding the tree. Open the windows and let the AIR FORCE come in"! "Open the doors of...
More About: Indian , Pica

10 Rules for Bollywood Film Making
2007-02-18 12:54:00
1. Two brothers separated in childhood will always grow up on different sides of the law. The law-breaker, however, will suddenly turn over a new leaf before the end, bash up the villain (who is the *real* bad guy), and be pardoned for all his sins before the last-scene family reunion. (This is possible only if he has a heroine - see rule 2 below).2. If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of heroines, the excess heroes/heroines will a) die b) join the Red Cross and take off to Switzerland before the end of the movie.3. If there are 2 heroes in a movie, they will fight each other savagely for at least 5 minutes (10 if they are brothers).4. Any court scene will have the dialogue "Objection milord". If it is said by the hero, or his lawyer, it will be overruled. Else, it will be sustained.5. The hero's sister will usually marry the hero's best friend (i.e. the second hero). Else, she will be raped by the villain within the 1st 30 minutes, and commit suicide.6. In a chase,...
More About: Bollywood , Film , Rules , Olly

Beautiful wife
2007-02-12 14:50:00
A man and his wife were walking on a busy street. Coming to a corner a begger shouted out to the lady: "Oh sundari!!! andhha huu. sawa panch rupya de de" (Oh beautiful!! I am blind give me five and a quarter rupees) At once her husband told her: "de de, de de, tujhhe sundari bola hai to har haal me ye andhha hi hai!!" (Give him what he asks, If he thinks you are beautiful then there is no doubt that he is blind!!)
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Sardar And Indian Flag
2007-02-12 14:25:00
Santa singh goes to a shop to buy Indian flag.The shopkeeper gives him a Indian flag.Santa singh looks at it for a while and says something.What does he say?---Do you have anyother color in this ???
More About: Flag , Sardar , Sard

Sardar's Son at Medical School
2007-02-11 14:28:00
Bantasingh : I am so proud of my son. He is at medical school. Santasingh : Whatt is he studying ? Banta : Oh he is not studying. They r studying him !
More About: Medical , School , Sardar jokes , Medical School , Sardar

Mallu in kerala
2007-02-01 14:48:00
Name the only part of the werld, where Malayalis dont werk hard? Kerala Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala? Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi Why did Saddam Hussain attack Kuwait? He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say 'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'

Bihari lecturer having a problem with english
2007-01-28 14:45:00
A new Bihar i lecturer was unable to control the class. The guys were just talking without giving any attention to him. So he wanted to send a guy who was creating most of the problem out. But he didn't know how to put it in English .. He went near the guy. Shouted "follow me". The guy followed him till he went out of the class. Now the lecturer turned back and again shouted "Don't follow me" and went inside the class
More About: Problem , Hari , Bihari

laloo to telephone operator
2007-01-25 14:43:00
Laloo to a long-distance telephone operator: "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PATNA AND LAS VEGAS?" Operator : "JUST A MINUTE, SIR ..." Laloo: "THANK YOU", AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.
More About: Telephone , Laloo

A mug of beer
2007-01-23 14:41:00
An insect falls into a mug of beer... African : Takes the insect out and drinks the beer Chinese : Eats the insect and throws the beer away Japanese : Sells the beer to the American and insect to the Chinese and gets a new mug of beer. Pakistani : Accuses the Indian for throwing insect into his beer, relates the issue to Kashmir, asks the Chinese for Military aid, takes a loan from the American to buy one more mug of beer. Indian: Accuses Pakistan for helping the insect to infiltrate into the glass, blames it as long term ISI operation, terms the insect as a Pakistan SSG commando in undercover operation and vows to defend every inch of the glass and every drop of the beer and demand that US should declare Pakistan a terrorist state
More About: Beer