SodBlogSodBlogThis blog is a combination of the words blueberry and dog. That's right. This is the world's first blueberry-dog hybrid. Science! Articles
Pet Peeves About My Daily Commute
2008-05-08 00:44:00 I am a eco-friendly commuter. I ride Portland’s buses and our wonderful (if a bit pricey) Tri-met LightRail system. The entire time, I have a smug look of self-satisfaction plastered on my face, because I know I’m totally awesome for ditching my car. Okay, that last part isn’t necessarily true. That look I have on my ... More About: Daily , Commute , Peeves , Pet Peeves
The Orphanage
2008-05-07 14:47:00 Stop me if you’ve heard this one - a hideously deformed outcast child in a setting with other children falls victim to a cruel prank gone wrong, causing his untimely and unintentional demise! Also, just as if it can’t get any worse, his spirit starts to haunt the orphanage he lived in along with the ... More About: Orphanage , The Orphanage
Popcorn Man
2008-05-06 22:49:00 After Marvel’s success with Superman, the Fantastic Four and the X-men trilogy it was only a matter of time before someone converted the Iron Man comic book into a movie. After all, there’s plenty to do with a guy who can fly, no? You probably wouldn’t guess it, but this movie already has a pretty ... More About: Popcorn
Ten words I never want to hear again after this primary.
2008-05-06 22:35:00 I am hoping against hope that today will bring an end to the Never-ending Democratic Primary That Technically Ended Two Months Ago But SHHHHH Nobody Tell That To Hillary Clinton Because She’ll Get Super Pissed. I’m hoping for a definitive ending, but then again, I’m not stupid enough to actually believe it’ll happen, being that ... More About: Politics , Cain , Words , Hear
Wizardry In The Classroom
2008-05-05 18:50:00 Some people are too stupid to live. One of them, I’m now convinced, lives in Florida. No, I’m not talking about your Uncle Bernard. I’m talking about the student (or, more frighteningly, students) that turned a substitute teacher in to his supervisor for performing a magic trick in class. Yes, you read that right. The teacher did a magic ...
This is a Blog About Thumbs
2008-05-03 03:40:00 i’m going to a movie called Expelled tonight, but before i get to that… what with the impending lapse of mein kampf’s copyright looming over us all, it seems these days that everyone’s clamoring to get on the hitler train. though i have no specific memories of my own to support the following claim, i suspect ... More About: Blog
Bands That Fame Forgot: The Weakerthans
2008-05-02 19:25:00 Besides being the Slurpee Capital of the World, Winnipeg , Manitoba isn’t a city that catches the eye of many Americans. Much like many of the Canadians we meet, it’s nice enough but not exactly memorable. In fact, the only distinct memory I have from my handful of trips to Winnepeg is nearly driving into parked cars ... More About: Nostalgia , Bands , Fame , Weakerthans
Forced Penetration Required by Law in Oklahoma
2008-05-02 10:00:00 Forced penetration is now required by law in Oklahoma , but only for sluts (i.e. women who want to terminate their pregnancies. You know, sluts.) Get ready to vom. Recall this post about the Oklahoma legislature bill allowing abortion-seeking women the freedom of eye movement? I jested that this bill was a human rights ... More About: Forced
Your Vulva Can Only Be Cut Off Once
2008-05-01 20:45:00 Recently, the US Board of Immigration Appeals denied asylum to three women who had been victims of FGM (female genital mutilation) in their home country of Guinea because they had no well-founded fear of further persecution, since your vulva can only be cut off once. To be clear, in Guinea, 95% of women are subjected to ... More About: Vulva
Fox News: Television For (and By) Idiots
2008-04-30 18:59:00 If you look at the above graphic for more than, say, five seconds, before you see something terribly wrong, then you need to go back to the fifth grade and start your education all over again. Try paying attention this time. We all know that Fox News is to real news what a whiffle bat is ... More About: Television , Idiots , Fox News
KG, No Matter What Uniform He?s Wearing
2008-04-25 22:29:00 I was bored during lunch today and, for whatever reason, I thought it’d be cool to look up some Kevin Garnett highlights on Youtube. KG has always been one of my favorite NBA players. Firstly, because he played for my home-state Timberwolves, a team I watched from their inception. I remember, as a young kid ... More About: Matter , Uniform
My Best Friend Lied to Me About Crypto Sporidium
2008-04-25 20:49:00 Cryptosporidium lives in the intestine of infected humans or animals. Millions of crypto parasites can be released in a bowel movement from an infected human or animal. Consequently, Cryptosporidium is found in soil, food, water, or surfaces that have been contaminated with infected human or animal feces. The most common symptom of cryptosporidiosis is watery diarrhea. A ... More About: Friend , Crypto , Lied
Oil!
2008-04-24 23:14:00 The big news out of North Dakota (aka “The State You Probably Didn’t Know Existed”) recently is that we are sitting on top of the largest known oil reserves in the lower 48 states, at up to 4.3 billion barrels. This was, of course, a complete surprise to everyone here in the northern most Dakota, ... More About: Obscure
Helen Thomas Is The Balls
2008-04-24 20:40:00 A few of you might remember a revelation that came to light rather quietly a few weeks ago and has since been more or less ignored by the press. It seems a certain leader of the free world and his top aides approved something that they had for years been denying any knowledge of. In ... More About: Politics , Thomas , Balls , Helen
Before the Devil Knows You?re Dead
2008-04-24 13:13:00 In the first five minutes of this movie you’re confronted with a full blown sex scene, featuring a pretty Oscar winner, and a bloody murder. Sets the mood quite nicely. Without spoiling anything, the plot goes as following: two brothers urgently need money and plan to rob a jewellery store. Minor detail; the store they ... More About: Media , Dead , Devil , The Devil
Shout Out to African Dock Workers!
2008-04-23 19:54:00 You know how we Americans like to be telling African countries what to do all the time? Like: ?Use this un-tested birth control and stop having black babies!? or ?Globalize your financial markets despite rampant corruption in your financial industry.? How about ?Be thankful that Shell is pillaging your land; at least now ... More About: Workers , Dock , Shout
Kill Your TennisShoes!
2008-04-23 03:39:00 you are an idiot. what are you wearing on your feet?!?!? are those SHOES?!?!?! you disgust me. and you would disgust Adam Sternbergh if he were here right now. writer, author, literary wordsmith, prose monger, sentence spinner, and better, smarter person than you, mr. S has dilligently uncovered a vast conspiracy to make your feet useless: ... More About: Kill
DESTROY ALL FOOTWEAR!
2008-04-23 03:39:00 you are an idiot. what are you wearing on your feet?!?!? are those SHOES?!?!?! you disgust me. and you would disgust Adam Sternbergh if he were here right now. writer, author, literary wordsmith, prose monger, sentence spinner, and better, smarter person than you, mr. S has dilligently uncovered a vast conspiracy to make your feet useless: you can trace ... More About: Footwear
Election 2008 - Total Insanity
2008-04-23 00:00:00 Since today’s Pennsylvania primary is the next step in the fake election that’s technically already decided but continues onwards because everyone in this country likes to think they’re watching a real fight, it seems oddly appropriate that Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton took their messages directly to the people most inclined towards that kind of ... More About: Politics , Election , Election 2008 , Insanity , Total
Pennsylvania Bloodbath
2008-04-22 18:49:00 Hello, country. I’ve been getting letters from some of you out there wondering how I enjoyed Philadelphia. Let me make this perfectly clear: I’ve never been to Pennsylvania. I have no idea what you’re talking about, but I do appreciate the letters. As you all know, I am a reader. But I was not in Philadelphia ... More About: Barack Obama , Glenn Beck , Hillary Clinton , Cain , Bill O
New DVD Release: P2
2008-04-22 17:12:00 Why is it that in every horror movie, cell phones don’t work? They’re trash: no matter where you are, they won’t get a signal! In this case, our main victim here is Angela, an overworked businesswoman that begins her night of stress when her car won’t start. She calls a cab, but she’s locked out ... More About: Movies , Media , Release
Elevator Inaction
2008-04-21 21:28:00 If you’re like me (and seriously, if you are, God speed, brother), you probably spend a lot of your day wondering what you’d do if you were stuck in an elevator for 41 hours. Well, according to this YouTube video I just watched, it would seem the answer is: pushing buttons, laying down, crawling up ... More About: Elevator
Declare Your Independance!
2008-04-21 18:44:00 I am a registered Independent in the state of Oregon. I know that most people don?t willingly divulge their party affiliations without a fight, but I?m tired of not caring. I may identify more with Democratic views than I do with Republican, but not enough to feel like I should have to register as one. Our ...
My Buddy Jack, Quality Control, and An ADHD Christmas
2008-04-21 11:55:00 being a connoisseur of mixed drinks, an idealist caught in the quixotic pursuit of the perfect blend of soft drink and sour mash whiskey, a mediator, liaison, and, at times, martyr struggling to bring together the corporate entities better known as your local coca-cola bottlers’ association and a jack something-or-other from lynchburg, tennessee, i go ... More About: Christmas , Drink , Buddy , Jack , Quality Control
?88 Minutes? ? About 2 Hours Too Long
2008-04-20 21:31:00 The trailers for this film intrigued me. Jack Gramm (Al Pacino) is a college professor-cum-FBI forensic psychiatrist who has been thrust into the public eye when his testimony alone convicts Jon Forster (Neal McDonough) as The Seattle Slayer–a serial killer who strung up his female victims before killing them. However, the day before Forster’s ... More About: Movies , Long , Minutes , Hours
Growing Up Nate: Candy Cane Children
2008-04-18 20:56:00 All of my cousins on my mother’s side of the family are pretty close in age. We all, for the most part, fall within a 10-year window. This made holidays growing up a lot of fun. Sure, we had to drive up to grandma and grandpa’s house in Northern North Dakota, but we got to ... More About: Children , Candy , Growing , Growing Up , Cane
No Debate On Obama?s Hatred For Country
2008-04-18 17:23:00 It’s morning again in America. Rise and shine, country. This is your Wake Up Colbert. The debate this last Wednesday between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton earned a viewership of 10 million viewers. Since my readership is roughly in that same neighborhood, I can safely assume that there’s some overlap. I can only hope that most ... More About: Country , Debate , Hatred
Pass the Chigurh
2008-04-17 15:17:00 Mock-up ©2008 Nate Sjol I finally got around to seeing No Country For Old Men two nights ago and it’s been haunting me ever since. The cinematography was starkly beautiful, the performances were stunning and the direction was fantastic. I’m still scared that Chigurh is out there, somewhere… But all morning, I’ve had this idea for a ... More About: Pass
OK Bill Allowing Women Freedom of Eye Movement a Human Rights Victory
2008-04-15 01:44:00 Oklahoma, long a pioneer of human rights and social justice, is poised to ratchet up another victory, this one for women?s rights. In a bill recently sent to Governor Brad Henry for consideration, women are granted the freedom to move their eyes about as they wish, even at doctor?s appointments. The bill SB 1878, which is ... More About: Freedom , Victory , Women , Human , Rights
Sod Is Bitterly Clinging to Guns and Religion
More articles from this author:2008-04-14 18:35:00 I’m sure by now you’ve all heard about the remarks Senator Obama made about small town Americans. As the weekend wore on for me, I watched it get twisted and over-analyized to the point of meaninglessness. This happens every time a candidate makes a statement that is even the least controversial, but oddly does not ... More About: Politics , Religion , Guns , Clinton , Bitter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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