Small and Big

RSS Feed Homepage

Articles: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Brrring! Brrring! Hello? It Is Robo-Call. [video]
2009-09-19 00:00:00
Remember this one from Saturday Night Live, where Seth Meyers interviews Will Forte as Robocall? Oh, it twas nutty during campaign election time.©2009 P.L. Frederick. Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License. All other copyrights owned by their respective owners.
More About: Video , Call

Loss And Love, A Cartoon Redo
2009-09-17 00:00:00
I re-colored a previous cartoon, The Afterlife, and also corrected a wonky eyeball. Although I enjoy a bright color palette I’m thinking my cartoon style may work better with gentler color. Here’s the result. Thoughts? Opinions? Insults? Do share.©2009 P.L. Frederick. Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License. All other copyrights owned by their respective owners.
More About: Cartoon , Love , Loss

Sideswiped
2009-09-15 00:00:00
(Click it to biggerify.)Have you ever had your pet mistaken for something totally weird? Besides my Manchester terrier being mistaken for a beagle, once my cat was mistaken for a dog. Also, a human baby.©2009 P.L. Frederick. Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License. All other copyrights owned by their respective owners.

Listening Impaired
2009-09-12 00:00:00
A Riff Raffi cartoonoid from Alex Raffi. His blog’s at www.riffraffi.com.©2009 P.L. Frederick. Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License. All other copyrights owned by their respective owners.
More About: Listening

Won't You Try My Jam?
2009-09-10 00:00:00
“Won’t you try my jam?”“Won’t you try my jam?”“Won’t you try my jam?”Click image below to biggerify.Poor Dorie Greenspan, jam and stomach ache maker.©2009 P.L. Frederick. Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License. All other copyrights owned by their respective owners.

Water Retention Theory
2009-09-09 00:00:00
Caroline exits the bathroom, walking quickly. David used the toilet just previously and waits for her. “Sorry,” he says, “I don’t flush the toilet every time I go.”“Oh, is that a water conservation thing, reducing the number of times the toilet flushes and saving gallons and gallons of water every time?”“No, it’s sentimental.”©2009 P.L. Frederick. Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License. All other copyrights owned by their respective owners.
More About: Theory , Water , Retention

And You Think Your Job Interview Went Badly
2009-09-08 00:00:00
“When I was starting out as a comedian, I went to see an agent one time. He said, ‘We’ll call you if we need anything.’ As he was talking to me, I looked over at his trash can and saw my picture torn in half there.”— Jay Leno in Parade magazine©2009 P.L. Frederick. Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License. All other copyrights owned by their respective owners.
More About: Interview

How Is Small & Big Exactly Like Twitter?
2009-09-05 00:00:00
   We were both born in August of 2006, that's how. Astrologically, we're Leos. Growl! Also, we both have seven or more fans and/or followers. Here's a posting from our very first day: On The Job Joke, An Honest For-True Story. Such youth and innocence. That was before we moved on to bigger fish, like spoons and flies, and before the awards.Ah, birthdays. Remember Small & Big's second birthday in 2008? Hah ha! What a blast. The artisans are still crafting replacement furnishings for the manse. I have since moved on to larger accommodations, but the memories are dear. Especially the hangover one. So, be sure to follow me at plfrederick on Twitter ; and Tweeters, when you're on Twitter, but not Twotter or Twutter, come visit Twitter's twin, Small & Big. You can even bookmark smallandbig.blogspot.com, but hurry, while they still make bookmarks. And books.©2009 P.L. Frederick. Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attrib...

But Can It Beat My $200 Horse?
2009-08-24 23:00:00
“It handles like a Corvette. It pulls a corner that will blow your mind.”—David Hamilton, Vice President of Tomberlin Group,on his company’s $8,000 electric car, the Anvil,which has a top speed of 25 miles an hour©2009 P.L. Frederick. Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License. All other copyrights owned by their respective owners.
More About: Beat , Horse

Night Toilet In Foreign Land
2009-08-21 23:00:00
©2009 P.L. Frederick. Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License. All other copyrights owned by their respective owners.
More About: Night , Toilet , Foreign , Land

For The Better Understanding Of "Total Eclipse Of The Heart"
2009-08-20 23:00:00
It took almost 30 years but a fan named Jeannie (blog) has successfully flow charted that Bonnie Taylor song, “Total Eclipse of the Heart ” (YouTube).And then there’s this...©2009 P.L. Frederick. Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License. All other copyrights owned by their respective owners.
More About: Understanding

Sound Of Music
2009-08-19 22:00:00
©2009 P.L. Frederick. Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License. All other copyrights owned by their respective owners.
More About: Music , Sound , Sound of Music

Diet While Eating: Fantasy Vs. Reality
2009-08-17 22:00:00
©2009 P.L. Frederick. Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License. All other copyrights owned by their respective owners.
More About: Reality , Diet , Fantasy , Eating

What Costs As Much As A Plane Ticket To Ireland This Summer, Maybe More?
2009-07-22 23:00:00
Pet care for the cat and dog while you’re awayRenting a place for you, the human, to sleep while in Ireland Taking vacation time off, unpaidRepairing your pick-up, which breaks down the week beforeParking your pick-up near Boston Logan airport, to just sit there the entire time, plus buying a TomTom map of Ireland, except they don’t sell a map of Ireland so you gotta buy the entire Great Britain map to get at IrelandRenting the smallest car found in Ireland, essentially a motorcycle with a hood up top, plus car insurance because it’s not covered by U.S. auto insurance and no one can satisfactorily explain why (are sheep driving while texting?)Buying any amount of euros with U.S. dollarsVacationing with someone who complains non-stop about how expensive everything isAll of the aboveFor the correct answer see the comments below.(Leprechaun dude from this Wikipedia page and awesome usage rights to go with him from copyleft_attitude.)©2009 P.L. Frederick. Some righ...
More About: Summer , Plane , Ticket , Costs

Q: What's Grosser Than Gross?
2009-07-16 00:00:00
A: Some of the free crap on Craigslist. Go to Item Not As Described and see what I mean.I suppose there are many correct answers to this question, like, Eating your morning Corn Flakes then finding out your little brother’s scab collection is missing, but I’m going with my heart on this one.©2009 P.L. Frederick. Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License. All other copyrights owned by their respective owners.
More About: Gross

Select Biblical Translations From The Deep-Deep Discount Bible
2009-07-07 00:00:00
1 Corinthians 16:13Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be string.Psalms 143:8I have put my crust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my roll.Matthew 18:3Except ye become as little children, ye will not enter the Kingdom of Kevin. Proverbs 16:3Commit to the larder whatever you do, and your plants will suck seed.John 4:18There is no beer in love; but perfect love casteth out beer.Gretzky 8:94100% of the shots you don’t fake don’t go in.In the manner of The Holy Bibel.©2009 P.L. Frederick. Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License. All other copyrights owned by their respective owners.
More About: Bible , Translations , Deep , Biblical , Discount

The Holy Bibel
2009-07-04 00:00:00
PsalmsWe are the people he watches over, the sheep under his car.ExodusThou shall not make for yourself a gravy image.LukeBut the angle said to them, “Do not be Alfred.”From the folks at BlueQ. Great spellers.©2009 P.L. Frederick. Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License. All other copyrights owned by their respective owners.
More About: Holy

Funniest Thing You'll See All Week
2009-07-03 00:00:00
Pepé Le Pew voice:“You know, eet eez possible to be too attractive.”“Permit me to introduce myself, I am your new lover.”“You are my peanut. I am your brittle.”(Thanks, Cute Overload.)©2009 P.L. Frederick. Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License. All other copyrights owned by their respective owners.
More About: Week , Thing

Creepiest Thing You'll See All Week
2009-07-02 00:00:00
Thanks Facebook, with your Michael Jackson (right) and unnamed caucasianoid (left) siamese twins, you’re officially even creepier than this.©2009 P.L. Frederick. Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License. All other copyrights owned by their respective owners.
More About: Week , Thing

Small & Big Makes History In Sock Puppet Video
2009-07-01 00:00:00
Focus your deep, penetrating concentration on the 1:04 through 1:16 minute mark. Near as I can piece it together Mason the tube sock puppet has this to say about Small & Big:“And __________ that rooster lady, you know, she’s got that small, big, medium, some kind of blog, ___________ cartoons, and to ______ money she, ah, likes to draw pictures of stuff, of cat litter boxes, and I saw on there a month ____ on there a toupee, some kind of Zen man.”This is historical: Small & Big’s first known video reference, and on MasonMania. The Rooster Lady detects no cuss words.(Mason previously appeared in Why You Should Keep Yourself Far, Far Away From Coffee.)©2009 P.L. Frederick. Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License. All other copyrights owned by their respective owners.
More About: Video , History

A Great Comfort
2009-06-30 00:00:00
Looking for the Whole World Toilet Paper Museum and Society? Here you go.©2009 P.L. Frederick. Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License. All other copyrights owned by their respective owners.
More About: Great

A Sense Of Humor, Defined
2009-06-24 00:00:00
Many say you can’t ever analyze humor because, like dissecting a frog, “You may learn a bit about it, but the thing dies in the process.” Frogwash. We do well to contemplate and understand the world around us, especially the stuff we like, especially the fun stuff. Gene Perret has a unique take on it in his book, “How to Write & Sell Your Sense of Humor .” Gene writes: I define a sense of humor as the following three abilities:a) to see things as they areb) to recognize things as they arec) to accept things as they are.For example...When would I not be able to accept jokes about balding? First of all if I weren’t aware of it. Many people begin thinning at the back of the crown and don’t even know it’s happening. If you joke about losing their hair to these folks, they look at you as if you’re crazy.Second, if they fail to recognize they are losing their hair. I was convinced for years that by combing my hair a different way, no o...
More About: Defined

101 Tom Swifties
2009-06-23 00:00:00
A Tom Swiftie is a short joke that uses a slightly different double meaning for an adverb. I found this exercise fun, and not as hard as it might seem. It’s an enjoyable way to expand your humor abilities, from Gene Perret’s book, “How to Write & Sell Your Sense of Humor.” The one-liner must finish with a word ending in -ly, and that final word can be the real use, a new definition, or a brand new made-up word. You’ll see. Read on, and see how I spent Sunday night. What’s in bold is what I like best.“I saw a UFO,” he cried spacily. “This deodorant ain’t working,” the teen sniffed strongly.“Gasp,” his mom whispered faintly.“Students, you have 10 minutes to complete this exam,” the teacher said testily.“I got my barber’s license!” he said cuttingly.“I wonder what it’s like to race the Iditarod,” Lady said doggedly.“Cold,” purred Whiskers cattily.&ld...

This Isn't Funny But Here's A House I Saw In Maine
2009-06-20 01:00:00
(Click ’em to biggerify.)   Here are a couple close-ups. If you haven’t noticed the interesting bit yet, look in the middle of the pictures below. These are frickin’ wooden shingles on flat walls. (Or whatever the technical term is for the flat vertical house bits that keep the roof up.)   Isn’t that amazing?©2009 P.L. Frederick. Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License. All other copyrights owned by their respective owners.
More About: Funny , House , A House , Maine

Roz Chast, What's So Special About June 18th?
2009-06-19 02:00:00
Today is June 18th and you know what June 18 is? June 18th is Roz Chast Day, an official holiday I declared 10 minutes ago. I direct you to her completely awesome book, “Theories of Everything”. And when I say Everything it is a four-syllable word. Step right up, folks! See humor up close and personal! Look into her mirror! But... can you look away? Can you?!SEE a large selection of her cartoons on Cartoonbank.com!READ the New York Times book review!WITNESS a full-color sample of her likeness in a bright blue shirt!WATCH the stuff wandering feral over the Internet! (Click ’em to bigify.) Today’s Roz Chast Day brought to you by the Chast-talk in the comments section of Heavy Lifting.©2009 P.L. Frederick. Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License. All other copyrights owned by their respective owners.
More About: Special

The Sweetest Pet Ever
2008-06-07 00:00:00
“FREE kittins!”These are the signs that draw people’s attention when they’re pet shopping. And you are, aren’t you? Good for you! And good for them, because animals are some of the nicest people you’ll ever want to meet. (Except for that 100-pound St. Bernard that cornered me when I was six. “Saint,” my foot.) But before you run off to adopt a special four- or two-legged bestest friend, I urge you to consider something more. Something more-legged: namely, honeybees.Now I know what you’re thinking: “Are they really made of honey?” Yes. Yes they are. And the yellow stripes? Solid 24k gold. That’s why people don’t eat them. These non-bee pets you’re considering, they’re not gonna to work out. Here’s why.Cats1) Honeybees don’t nonchalantly squeeze behind the washer and poop up the basement floor. 2) Honeybees don’t carry out this affair secretly and passionately, behind closed doo...

Dona Nobis Pacem
2008-06-04 09:33:00
Dona Nobis Pacem is Latin for “Grant Us Peace”. It’s the tagline of the Peace Globe project, something started on the blog Mimi Writes in 2006. (Click for more info.) Here’s some stuff to get you smiling for peace.Kids laugh around 400 times a day.Smiling releases endorphins. Endorphins make us feel better. Even faking a smile can make us feel happier.You were born with the ability to smile. Even babies born blind, smile. They don’t learn by copying the expression.A fun way to get yourself a’smiling? Make someone else smile.Now, read this.©2008 P.L. Frederick. Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License. All other copyrights owned by their respective owners.

Beyond MBA: Business Tips From The Memogenda
2008-05-28 03:00:00
Are you a mover and a shaker? A decider? Do you put the “man” in “management” (and in “woman”)? Duh, or you wouldn’t be here today. Now that we’ve finished our three-hour vodka martini luncheon, I’d like to share something important with you. It’s about the Memogenda on your steel gray decision-making desk. The spiral notebook in embossed Leathertex paper. I don’t care what Irish illuminated manuscript calligraphers say, paper is so much easier to write on than dead animal skins. And the Book of Kells could have cut off a hundred years if those monks had Bics. (At left: Unhappy monks.)That’s but one reason why I so love my Memogenda (at right), and consult it for many a critical business decision. The system is simple to “manage” (har har!) and, if you open to Page 1, you’ll see the necessary instructions. I shan’t go over them. Do it yourself: I’ve leaned to delegate. After masteri...
More About: Business , Tips

Ennio's Paper Cut
2008-05-10 00:00:00
Ennio Marchetto (website) performs in paper. At 100 cph (celebrities per hour), playful costumes transform him into Dolly Parton, Eminem, Marilyn Monroe, Celine Dion, and others. The video below made me laugh, and maybe it will you too. Warning: Contains show tunes.©2008 P.L. Frederick. Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License. All other copyrights owned by their respective owners.
More About: Paper

Spamzas
2008-05-08 01:30:00
This poem is composed entirely out of Subject lines from my spam email. Each line, by line, is painfully unedited.Dearly BelovedLiving out on the porch: our new all-weather wicker collectionhotplatebayberriesunimaginableB ENEFIThit the deck with our grasshopper chairDid you authorize Mr. Louis Henrik?Respond urgentlyevocativelyPlease I Need A Trustworthy Person... Monday May 05, 2008foretoothPlease Hear meGood day to youGood Day©2008 P.L. Frederick. Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License. All other copyrights owned by their respective owners.