Things That Make You Go WTF!

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I Forgot It At Home!
2007-12-13 21:11:00
Sorry for the long delay all. I've been working 50 hours a week and all this christmas shit is driving me nuts but heres a goodie for you.So I was on the bag your own register the other day and these two guys come up and I ring them up. Now they weren't the problem but we'll get to that soon. So the one kid goes to pay with a card and the next guy in line is staring at him while he puts his pin in. Like I mean open mouth catching flies staring.So this guy is up our fly catcher that is, and I ring up his 4 boxes of cereal and 2 12 packs of paper towels. I ask him for is store card to get his discount (the cereal is on sale), and he says I forgot it at home. So I ask him for his phone number b/c thats how we can get his card number to come up and he tells me he forgot it at home. I say to him no not your card, whats your phone number. I forgot it at home he tells me. Well I' m a bit frustrated and so I say to him look you won't get a discount with out the card.He starts rattling ...
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OMG WTF
2007-12-02 01:25:00
Ok this one is funny although the customer didn't actually do anything bad to us you guys need to hear this.So I'm over on u-scan yesterday and I go to throw something in the returns cart and I walk past what I think is an old lady in a pink coat. So I turn and walk back and notice that our old lady is wearing a dress that looks like its a life size version of a 1950's baby doll's dress. Not only is this person wearing this bright blue and pink tutu type dress, they also are wearing white stockings, pink ballet shoes, over sized kids pink heart shaped sunglasses, and their hair is in pig tailsWeird and very funny part is this was actually a dude. WTF? OMG let me say it agian WTF? Hahahahahahahahaha. I'm still laughing at that, man I wish I would have gotten a picture for you guys. This dude walks past me on his way out the door, and while everyone is staring and laughing he says "Keep on smiling everyone!"My acsm says him and another guy do that sometimes, and I just want to kn...

The Red Schwinn
2007-11-29 19:00:00
I'm sitting here on this sorta crappy Thursday eating my Philly Cheese Steak Hot Pockets, thinking about this past week and all that has transpired. I feel bad guys and I want to apologized for not writing sooner, see my brother decided to take out guitar hero and well, I'm hooked! I got over 107,000 points on Smoke on the Water, woohoo! Ok well enough of my ramblings lets get to the story.So I'm working the self-checkout again and this guy walks over to #1 and parks his bike right in front of it. So I'm like WTF and the store manager comes over and says "Helen, WTF?" and points at the bike. I tell him I dunno, so he decides to page the guy "Would the owner of a red Schwinn please come to the self-scan checkout." No one shows, so he walks away (thanks a lot). Who decides to show up? The freaking guy who owns the POS bike.Alright now let me tell you what this guy looks like. He's a taller, older man wearing red thick framed glasses, a tie-dye shirt and shorts (remember its almos...

The Red Bandana
2007-11-26 20:49:00
Alrighty well this nice gentleman came in at about 10pm, he looked pretty grubby and was wearing a bright red bandanna. He was also carrying a book bag. I don't know why everyone around here feels the need to carry one but hey they do, so on to the story.This guy comes in and starts walking around the store, like he's shopping no big deal nothing to worry about right? I don't think so. He walks back to the seafood department grabs 2 shrimp rings and stuffs them in his backpack. The he walks on over to the soda aisle and grabs a few cans and stuff those in his backpack. He then stops over in the snack aisle and proceeds to shove 2 bags of Doritos in his backpack, at this point one of the girls notices this guy and lets us know what he is doing.This guy walks threw the front end and his back pack is stuffed with so much stuff, you can see the Doritos sticking out. Now of course our wannabe cop, closing manager is there and grabs this guy. They take him in the office and I get to ri...

A1 Guy
2007-11-26 01:08:00
So one afternoon back this summer it was just another normal day, and I was at self-checkout yet again (it seems to be a hot bed of activity there). The closing manager was in, he's our wanna be cop. He spends more time in the security office than actually doing his job, but thats a story I'll leave for another day.So I'm doing my thing at the s elf-checkout, helping customers and watching my screen, when this guy comes walking threw my area. Now he was walking kind of funny, but that didn't bother me. So I go back to watching my screen all of a sudden the closing manager comes walking threw the area after this guy. The customer notices the manager(the manager is 6'4" its hard not to miss him), and bolts. The closing manager being the long legged freak he is, sprints after this guy and dives on top of him. The customer turned thief gets tackled but some how manages to get away.If you haven't figured it out by now the customer was attempting to steal A1 sauce, the manager manag...

Down The Pants!
2007-11-24 00:33:00
Here's a WTF that'll should get you giggling or make you puke, one or the other enjoy!So we have this regular customer... *cough* thief *cough* and this guy is just gross looking ok. He has this nasty ratty looking bead thats long enough he could tuck it in his pants, plus he just looks dirty all the time bleh. This guy has been thrown out of the store a few times for fighting/yelling, so all eyes are already on him. Even though we know he steals they usually catch him and just take whatever he has and let him go. He's probably homeless or something I dunno.So, on to our story. This guy goes back to the deli case and grabs two subs. The guy goes into the bathroom, now may I remind you they are already watching him, and apparently sticks the subs down him pants. When he leaves the bathroom nothing in hand, and he wasn't in there long enough to eat them so yeah we know he has them somewhere on him.So what does security do, they follow him. He apparently notices security and picks ...
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That Smells Nice
2007-11-22 01:46:00
So we have a older Asian man who frequents our store and usually purchases soap. He never buys food or any other item only soap. He came in the other day and goes over to the soap aisle and brings some soap up to my brothers register.Of course as always when he comes in I get a call. My brother says to me "I need your help". So I go over to his register and ask him whats up? He says to me that this guy wants to buy some soap but it won't ring up. I take a look at the soap and well he opened a larger package and took one out. I say to my self "God not again!" Every time he comes in he opens big packs and takes one out and tries to buy it.Here's the kicker I know he speaks English but he won't use it when he speaks to you. So after 5 minutes of me, my brother and the next customer in line trying to tell him he cannot buy the soap that way I get exasperated. I grab the soap look at the guy and say "Thats it you either use English when you speak to me or you aren't buying any soap t...
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I Got Tagged!
2007-11-21 02:37:00
I was tagged over on Majik's blog to do a Meme, so here goes.50 Things to do before I die1. Become an Egyptologist2. Go to nursing school3. Win a baking contest4. Win a cooking contest5. Get promoted to ACSM6. Be published7. Explore the pyramids8. See earth from space9. Get married10. Have 3 kids11. Have 100 subscribers for this blog12. Visit Japan13. Live in England14. Visit Australia15. Fall completely in love16. Own a '69 GTO17. Learn to fix cars18. Go to a Nightwish Concert19. Get paid to blog20. Own a strip club (yeah and I'm not a lesbian or bi either, it would make good money tho lol!)21. Buy my mother a house22. Become better at playing BF223. Learn to sing well24. Take a real vacation (yes, I've never been on vacation)25. Go to Vegas!26. Learn Sign Language27. Learn Japanese28. Go to The Museum Of Egyptian Antiquities in Cairo, Egypt29. Go on a Deep Sea Dive to the location of the Titanic30. Skydive ( I might pee my pants tho)31. Finish this Meme, man this is getting ha...
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Beef Cubes!
2007-11-20 15:20:00
The afternoon in question I was running the front-end, and things we're going smoothly even though it was a busy day. Now you may remember our young cashier friend who was accused of ringing pasta up incorrectly and got yelled at by the sweet little old lady customer, he was working the self-check out on this particular day. He calls me for a price check so I go on over there.It turns out when I get there it was an item I knew specifically was not on sale, so no need to go check it out. Its really busy at this time and our young friend leaves the station to go help another customer with her produce. So while I am standing there I might as well watch the screen right? Good thing I did. Another customer and u-scan #4 rings up a large package of steak. When he puts it in the bag the scale goes off to let me know the weight is different from the item tag. This problem occurs often enough that we usually just hit the button to reset the alarm and go back to helping someone with a real i...
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I Don't Remember That!
2007-11-19 00:04:00
So one Sunday afternoon, I am standing next to the podium going over somethings with my relief, when this customer walks up to the returns cart. Now I already know this guy, I met him a few months back when I was working overnight covering the regular overnight girl's vacation. He came in, applied at the kiosk for a job, then stole some green grapes. Now I don't mean he grabbed a bunch of grapes and bolted out the door, he took some and ate them while in the store. Yes thats stealing so make sure you don't eat anything you haven't paid for or you might just go to jail.Now back to our regularly scheduled WTF! The two of us turn and look at him, along with 3 other cashiers (it was a bit of a slow day). W e all watch this guy put his backpack on the cart, grab a bunch of stuff from the cart, and shove it in his bag. Now mind you we are all in a bit of shock, everyone is going WTF? in their heads, so us calling security takes a moment. This guy then just tries to walk out of the st...

Waiting Sucks
2007-11-18 22:49:00
So one night around 10 pm I was on register and a customer comes up with a decent size order. I get about half way threw his order and he says "Oh man I forgot something!" Thats no biggy for me, its normal, a lot of people forget to get things and run to get them. Those normal people are usually back in a few minutes with relatively no wait involved.So of course I'm the only cashier and no one I guess knows they can use self scan so I start to get a bit of a line. I finish ringing his order up and I even put his bags in his cart. I let the other customers know that I am waiting on someone and he should be back shortly. I wait about 5 minutes, then I page the customer. I wait another few minutes and page him again. He still doesn't show up. I tell the front-end person and they go to look for him. When she finds this guy he is over in the bread aisle. My co-worker says to the man, "There are people waiting can you please take your items up to the cashier we need to finish your order...
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Thats Bullshit She Says!
2007-11-17 19:36:00
One afternoon I was running the front-end and this nice little old lady customer that we have comes into the store to shop. Shes always so sweet and kind and we love her to death. She goes off and does her shopping and comes up to one of my cashiers lines and starts checking out. I get a call, from this cashier and he says that she needs a price check on some pasta. I go over to the pasta aisle and well the item had rung up wrong. In our store we have a great policy, if the item rings up incorrectly its free, and you get up to 3 of the same item for the price on the tag! Thats pretty snazzy don't ya think? Well not so much for our little old lady friend.When I tell her she is getting one for free and 3 for the price on the tag she starts getting angry. You see you wants 1 for free and 9 at the sale price and thats a no no, I'll get in trouble for doing that. She tries to argue me down and when I keep telling her no she yells "THATS BULLSHIT I WANT TO SEE YOUR MANAGER! So I run al...
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Whippin Similac!
2007-11-17 01:47:00
Heres a bit of a back story so y'all know what I'm talking about. W.I.C. is a program run by the government to assist low income people with purchasing necessary items for their children, its most often given to pregnant women and women with children. Similac for those of you who don't know, is baby formula. It comes in various sizes and some is liquid and some is powder.A customer comes up to the customer service desk and puts her large can of Similac powder up on the counter. My co-worker asks the customer what she can do for her. The customer says she wants to return the item for whatever reason. She proceeds to tell my co-worker that she does not have a receipt because it was purchased using a W.I.C. check. Now it is state policy that you cannot return W.I.C. items to the store you must go to your local W.I.C. office if you have any problems.This customer argues and argues and argues with my co-worker and of course the customer is repeatedly told no we cannot return the item ...

Red Bull Man
2007-11-16 00:29:00
This happened back in the summer time but here it is for you served up hot 'n fresh!Alrighty on this particular day I was again working the self-checkout area. On this day it was I'd say about 95 degrees outside. From my vantage point at my little station I get to see a few aisles in the store (cereal, juice, produce, and I can see back to the meat department) I see a guy walk down the juice aisle with a rather large winter coat, now may I remind you its 95 degrees outside. Of course this puts a bit of suspicion in my mind, but I let it go and watch my screen. I see him come back across the store and walk down the juice aisle again, he stops about where the red bull is and takes one of the large cases of red bull off the self and walks down the aisle toward the meat department. About 5 minutes later he walks threw the self-checkout area and towards the door, no bags in hand. Of course I turn and look, what do I see a large square shape under the coat. I call the manager and tell ...
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The Chronicles Of Yellow Shoes Part 2
2007-11-15 02:06:00
Alrighty so you know a bit about Yello w Shoes , so heres some more Yellow Shoes fun!One evening about 9pm Yellow Shoes comes in to do her regular assortment of weird shopping (she purchases things like baby genius DVDs, air fresheners, and kids temporary tattoos), she grabs her crap and brings it up to the register. She gets checked out and gives the cashier a $20 bill and a $5 bill. Her purchase totaled $20 and change. The cashier hands her $4 and change and she says "Wheres my 5 dollars?" We explained to her that she doesn't get $5 back and she of course starts yelling. Now you must understand she is a whole different kinda crazy. She walks to the end of the register(the back part where the belt is) and starts banging on the metal screaming "I WANT MY FIVE DOLLARS!"So what do we do with crazy people who are screaming in our store, we threw her out after 5 minutes of her screaming. She left through the exit and we told her "If you come back in here tonight we are calling the cops....
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Oy Veh
2007-11-14 21:17:00
Here are a few short WTfs, I saw all of this in one frigging day! Oy Veh!I was working self check out area as normal and it boggles my mind, I don't understand why you would bring your items to me? Do you think I ring people up 4 at a time? No! Do you think just because I stand behind a little desk thingy with a screen that I am the cashier for you? And another thing on this note when the credit card machine says waiting for cashier thats you not me, again SELF-CHECKOUT! I'll say it slower for you, I know it is hard to understand S-E-L-F-C-H-E-C-K-O-U-T! I don't mean to have sounded like I was mad at you dear reader, its just these people they drive me nuts.One other note about self-checkout you know that part where you scan your items its made out of glass ok, WTF is with people smacking the glass with cans, YOU'RE GOING TO BREAK IT DUH!Another thing WTF is with buying 3 items and having 10 coupons? Don't they have lives? I can hardly manage to get 5 coupons for like $60.00 wo...

It's To Early!
2007-11-12 22:26:00
This happened to me just the other day. Imagine this I'm at my register and it's about 8:30 am on Saturday and I'm still bleary eyed because well it was just to early for me. I have my nice yummy Dunkin Donuts coffee and its kinda slow of course and this nice looking customer comes up. She put her items on the belt and I ring her up. As she is about to pay she says to me (in a Russian accent) "What ze hell is zat?" I say to her "excuse me what do you mean?" she replies by saying "Ze mayonnaise did not ring up right!" I said to her "listen there is probably a limit of 2 and you have 4 of them." She proceeds to yell at me "Why didn't you tell me aren't you watching the screen?" Mind you the screen faces the customer so they can monitor the item prices as they ring up. I said to her "Its not my job to watch every price as it rings up thats why the screen faces you not me, so you can see everything." Now it takes her a moment to respond and she says "Oh, well just take two of them ...
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The First Real WTF!
2007-11-12 01:19:00
Part 1 Of the Yellow Shoes Chronicles.Ok this happened to me awhile ago but I think its going to make a great first WTF. Let me give you a little info on this customer first. She was is known to us as yellow shoes. She wears those ugly bright yellow crocs. Yes I understand a lot people find them comfortable but come on yellow? For Christs sake she could have picked a less flamboyant color. That's a WTF all by its self but lets get to the meat and potatoes of this one because its down right funny.One night at around 9pm she comes over and has a bottle of Rogaine in her hands. She holds it up for me to see and asks me "Should I drink this?" Now all be it she is known for being dumb but really now what the hell was I going to say to her. It took me a moment to respond of course, and I honestly thought to myself should I say yes? You must understand she asks retarded questions on a regular basis but this one takes the cake. Now don't get your panties all in a bunch I said "No you can...
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Well Here We Go!
2007-11-12 00:26:00
Okies here is my first entry and I just want to start off by telling you a bit about my blog. This blog for all of you who work in retail and you just get that one customer that makes you go WTF? I work in a grocery store (yes I can't believe I'm admitting that) and I meet some of the dumbest and most moronic people in the world and I feel that everyone should know about it! Most of my entries will be about the dumb asses I meet on the job but every once in awhile you might find something on here that has happen outside of work. I just want to let everyone know right now that although some of whats going to be on here might seem cruel, I'm really a very nice person and I don't mean any harm. But if you come to my line and act retarded know that I will make fun of you! I hope that you comment and sometimes I may ask for help understand the stupidity of the world and I hope to here your opinions! Look for my first WTF entry coming very soon probably within the next hour or so. ...
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