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The My Grimm Reality Contest
2007-12-01 01:45:00
Not only is the wonderful wife a great writer, blogger and companion, but she is also a pretty damn enterprising woman. She has T-Shirts, coffee mugs, bumper stickers and magnets all adorned with her My Mommy's Place logo (our little one) all from CafePress.She even has a freaking store.So in order to keep up with the Jones' (or in this case the wonderwife), I have decided on creating something through CafePress. Since I have been given the tour of everything they can do from Ms. Trump, I am amazed at the number of products they offer. Aside from the T-Shirts and coffee mugs I've already mentioned, they also have baseball hats, clocks, items for the kiddos - everything. So with my mind made up that this is something I want to do, I was left with a problem...What am I gonna put on it?That is where you guys come in.Welcome to the first annual "My Grimm Reality T-Shirt Contest "! This is a contest where all of you loyal readers get to design the very first My Grimm Reality T-Shirt! T...
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Grimm's 2007 Toy Guide (Adult Edition)
2007-11-29 16:12:00
Two weeks ago I gave you the first installment of this years Toy Guid e . Always thinking in terms of my readers, I wanted this edition to be geared toward the adult crowd, because as you may know, we adults can be the biggest kids around.2006 Toy Guide2007 Toy Guide Part 1 MoppelsPrice as 11/29/2007:$24.99 on Amazon.comDescription: Moppels sport an LED head, plus flexible appendages with magnetic feet and attachable suction cups that let them bend over backward to shine light anywhere. Perfect for the high-tech desktop, dorm, or road. Powerful foot magnets let them hold tight to desktops, metal filing cabinets, refrigerators and more! Moppels are great for computer repair or for shuffling files without bothering coworkers or roommates with too much light. Tweak the neck and legs to direct a warm, white LED glow over books and keyboards without glaring off the screen. Super-efficient LED technology means batteries (3 AA's included) last more than 100 hours, or use the handy USB conne...
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Who am I?
2007-11-28 21:31:00
This wasn't the post I had planned for today, but it is something that I've been thinking on for awhile. Nothing too serious, but I would like your opinion nonetheless.Looking over my archives, I discovered that I should have celebrated my 1-year blogging anniversary on Monday. Although this is a milestone for me, I feel that it is tainted somewhat by the two extended breaks (each of about 6-8 weeks) that I took. Looking back at drafts and unfinished posts over that time period, I noticed some of the same things still plague me today.An identity. A niche. A place in this blogging world.Just what is My Grimm Reality?Joe over at Joeprah.com had a little getting-to-know you post that really shed some light on the mysterious Dad behind the fun words and great videos. Like a good father to his kids, he plays airplane hanger with his readers - zooming a spoonful of info here and there until we gobble up happily what he has to offer, whether it is ice cream or strained peas. No wonder hi...

Crazy 8 Meme
2007-11-27 18:50:00
Normally I am not a huge meme fan. Don't get me wrong, I'll happily do them, but the fact that there are so many out there and I have been "tagged" to do so little have gotten me a little self-conscious. Don't you guys WANT to know about me? Don't you care what flavored cake I had on my 13th birthday? Are you not facinated with curiousity and just what brand of underwear I wear to bed...or even IF I wear underwear at all?After a riduculous amount of whining and complaining to the wonderful wife about her never tagging me since my return to the blogging world six weeks ago, she finally took pity upon me and sent one my way - The Crazy 8 Meme . Now I know some of you have already been there and done that with this meme, in fact I am probably the last person in the universe to actually get this thing. But alas, my patience has paid off.Things I Am Passionate About:1. Being a good father to the little one and the bun in the oven2. Being a good husband to the wonderful wife3. Getting ...

Creative Captioning #2
2007-11-27 05:42:00
Due to the nice little response of last weeks Creative Caption ing, I am debating making this a fun little Monday thing to do. Let me know what all of you think. The pictures would be mine, so not only do you get to show off your creative juices, you also get to make fun of me in the process. It's a win-win for you guys.Now I doubt I will get near the responses that I got last week when the little one was showing dear old Dad who is boss, but I hope there will be those out there who are up to the challenge. These guys live next door to us a few months out of the year and during the wintertime they are joined by about 15-20 more. Makes for a nice outdoorsy smell.Thanks to everyone who participated in last weeks Creative Captioning. Feel free to go here and vote for your favorite. Winners will get their names in REALLY BIG LETTERS! It's the least I could do.

To My Wife
2007-11-26 03:10:00
Each night before I'd go to sleep,I'd pray the Lord my soul to keep.And hope that he might ease the pain,With someone who might feel the same.I used to dream of being in love,With someone sent down from above.Brown hair, blue eyes and an angels face,A vision of beauty I could not erase.Time went by as my childhood passed,But the vision of that angel would always last.Twenty years later my dreams would come true,The very moment that I met you.Battered and beaten, my emotions were torn,A victim of lies, deceit, disfavor and scorn.You picked me up and mended my life,You concluded my quest and ended my strife.Enough compassion inside to give me a chance,You melted my heart with one single glance.A caring heart to make my own whole,A trusting friend to soothe my soul.My world has come alive because of you,I now look at life through a different hue.You have taught me things that I never known,And through the years our love has grown.It's been four years since that day we met,Four years...
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Random Rants and Ramblings
2007-11-24 21:02:00
The end of November is almost here and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Or like Wyle E. Coyote, that could be a train locomotive getting ready to smash me into blogger dust. Because the ride that is NaBloPoMo is almost coasting into the station, I have some goodies planned for you next week - including the very first My Grimm Reality contest.Whoever at USA network that thought having a Law & Order marathon on Thanksgiving night is freaking brilliant. I was in bad shape trying to stay up for a 12-hour shift with a belly full of turkey but the gang from the Special Victims Unit and Criminal Intent kept me awake the entire time. You guys rock.Here is an example that my brief visit into the land of the complicated is but a memory: A coworker today asked if I wanted half of his cheese steak sandwich. Now I love steak. I love cheese. I love cheese steaks. But tell me why oh why, must they ruin such a great sandwich with not only onions, but mushrooms as well. Less is more...
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Gobbler Aftermath
2007-11-23 23:57:00
I awoke to the sweet seductive smells of turkey in the oven. Yes, the women of the house were up early again working on the Thanksgiving feast. I again staggered my way down the steps to be greeted by the hustling and bustling of two women who were on a mission. A mission to elevate the eating experience. A mission to nourish not only our bodies, but our minds and our souls.It was a mission of food. Lots and lots of food.I quickly glanced around at the abundance of nourishment and my eyes glazed over at the enormous effort these two had put forth.My viewing was short lived however as I was quickly ushered from the room and left drooling uncontrollably in the foyer.Such was my morning of torture. There was no place to hide from the phenomenal scents emanating from that kitchen. No nook. No cranny.Down in the family room? The smell of freshly baked bread.Up in the attic? Invaded by the seductive aroma of apple pie.Outside in the brisk November air? The sensational essence of that glor...

Happy Thanksgiving!
2007-11-22 21:36:00
I plan on keeping this short and sweet due to the holiday, but I wanted to wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving . I hope all of your stomachs are filled and everyone is having a wonderful day.The wonderful wife has posted her account of her mornings events as my day consisted of staying the hell out of the way of the cooking process. Unlike many of you, I cannot cook for anything.Tomorrow I will give everyone the lowdown on what I thought of the unbasic turkey as well as the rest of the feast prepared my the wonderful wife and the magnificent mother-in-law.This was posted on the wonderful wife's blog yesterday, but I feel it bears linking to again.(Thats the little one, me and the wonderful wife in case you were curious)
More About: Hank

UnBasic Thanksgiving
2007-11-22 00:28:00
This morning I awoke to unfamiliar smells emanating from the kitchen. As I managed to wipe away the morning sleep from my eyes, I looked around the morning lit bedroom. The wonderful wife was missing, so there is the possible answer to the foreign odors penetrating my nostrils. I looked on the bed beside me to see the little one smiling back at me. I was greeted with a "Good Morning, Daddy" as she gave me big hug.Yep, can't have a much better wake-up than that.I staggered downstairs, letting my nose lead me to the source of the newly discovered scents. At first, I was disappointed at the fact that there wasn't bacon frying on the skillet or biscuits in the oven, but then I saw the bird. That huge, magnificent uncooked bird. Suddenly, breakfast was put on the backburner and all of the world revolved around that enormous gobbler."Big isn't it?" a voice said, breaking my turkey trance.I turned to the breakfast nook to see the wonderful wife with tears in her eyes. At first I was con...
More About: Thanksgiving , Hank

Quantity Over Quality?
2007-11-21 02:02:00
I enjoy writing here. It's a nice little way to relate all of those little moments that make you swear you are on Candid Camera to people that like to read about it. The problem I have is while I consider much as what I write as "acceptable", it's near impossible for me to write well on an everyday basis. This has a ripple effect as some of things that I write that are hindered by time restraints may seem watered down and not as fun as they would have if I would have had more time with them.This also effects my reading other peoples blogs as while I am spending so much time writing posts everyday, I am way behind in reading and commenting on the work of others. Hell, just by taking a "day off" and posting the Creative Caption post, it gave me time to look at the blogs of some people that have commented over the last week and found some really fantastic stuff. How the wonderful wife manages to read through her HUGE blogroll I'll never know, because it takes me a long time to read ...
More About: Quality , Ality

Creative Captioning
2007-11-19 10:03:00
In order for me to get caught up on my blog reading, and the fact that I am supremely jealous of those that have the Photo Hunt on Saturday, I give you the following picture:Your mission: Using your incredible writing ability, create an adequate caption or title for this picture.Your reward: The knowledge that you have maintained my sanity for another day.
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Bad Dreams Are Made Of This
2007-11-18 20:25:00
Why is it that when you have bad dreams, everything that can go wrong usually does? Is it because we have watched so many scary movies that we are destined to follow what we have watched?For example, take the dream I had a few days ago. I am not sure what the bulk of the dream was about because all I can remember is that this guy was coming after me with a gun. He seemed possessed as if being controlled by someone else and wasn't moving all that fast. I had a motorcycle and he was on foot so you would think I would have the advantage, right?Wrong.Of course the damn motocycle had something silly happen to the motor so it could only go the speed of a little moped. Well somehow Mr. Possessed Killer Guy takes a shortcut and cuts me off if front of some ... doors? Outside? What?Anyway, there was a stuggle for the gun, I end up getting shot in the shoulder twice and a grazing shot in the head - but I still managed to get the gun away and lock him in a chokehold while dragging him around ...
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Working Hard At Hardly Working
2007-11-18 02:27:00
I have done nothing this weekend. Well, nothing constructive anyway. For two straight days I have played games on the laptop and on the Playstation and very little else. Granted I have been a little under the weather, as the little one and I have been suffering from colds the last few days, but I still cannot remember when I have done so little on my days off.I must admit that it does feel good to rest up and regroup a little although I still feel like a lazy butt. I think the combination of work, the holidays, and the colder weather has really gave me a swift kick in the pants. I've been feeling two steps behind with everything lately and with these last few days of rest, I think I am finally catching up. It's an odd sort of philosophy - slowing down to catch up - but in my case, it's working.During this past week I have posted more about the wonderful wife than I have in probably six months. Looking back at those posts, however, I haven't exactly shown her in the most glorious...
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Old McGrimm Had A ... Farm?!?
2007-11-17 04:10:00
Last week that father-in-law and I were out doing a few last minute autumn chores before the snow finally hits. We were cleaning out the rain gutters, finishing up the leaf raking and was clearing out some wind blown debris when he called me over to where he was standing.We went over the plans for the property in the coming years: Julia's playground ... the outbuildings ... the new garage ... the barn ...Wait, the barn?!?"You do know that our wonderful wives are wanting a barn with a few horses didn't you?" he asked."Um, no." those of you who read this regularly realize this has been a common reply from me lately."And pygmy goats too." he chuckled, obviously enjoying my stunned look.I was left dumbfounded while he left to be walked by Clyde The Dog.Horses?!? Pygmy goats?!? We can barely take care of ourselves with 15 cats and a old, blind hunting dog and they now want to add to the chaos? Chickens are one thing, I could possibly wrap my mind around that - although with 15 cats, I ...
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Grimm's Toy Guide 2007
2007-11-15 07:57:00
Due to the popularity of last years Toy Guid e , I have decided to bring it back again this year to enlighten you, the reading public. Every Thursday from now until Christmas I will bring you another installment of five toys that you may not have seen or even heard about.I have even updated the prices for you on the 2006 Toy Guide if you wish to gander back there.Consider it a labor of love.So, once again as a public service, I will hereby give you my first installment of Grim m's Toy Guide 2007.Brian The BrainPrice as 11/15/2007:$79.99 on Amazon.comDescription: This technological wonder toy is a great idea for tech-savvy kid, budding computer geeks, children who don't have a life, or kids that need more help on their homework and their parents aren't smart enough. Brian the Brain is an interactive artificial intelligence (AI) neural life form with a cool, fun behavior that likes to get personal with his owner.The Grimm Review: 4 StarsNow all the kids with tape on their glasses and ...

Dress Code Violation
2007-11-14 07:12:00
On a normal work night the wonderful wife and I have system that we have perfected over the last few years. At 9:30pm, she awakens me for dinner and when I arrive back in the bedroom after my bath, my work clothes for the day are laid out for me on the bed.That's right, you heard me. My wife chooses my work wardrobe.That is on a normal work night. Tonight, however was not a normal night. Due to being up until 3:30am the night prior getting games and activities ready for when the playgroup invaded our home that morning, the wonderful wife was struggling enough just to get through her own blog post so I decided to take my shot and dress myself.If there were alarms for bad ideas, you could have heard this one in Greenland.Now don't get me wrong, I can dress myself perfectly well on off days. Just give me a pair of comfortable jeans and loose shirt and I am good to go. Jeans, shirt and sneakers - basic.Dress clothes are SO not basic.I pulled out a pair of dress socks and fruit-of-the-...
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A Novel Idea
2007-11-13 21:37:00
Zanthera commented on a post a few days ago about how I should actually work on writing a novel. Over the last several months, the thought has crossed my mind more than a few times about doing something like this. It wouldn't be writing everyday for a month like they do at NaNoWriMo - I am afraid that would seriously burn me out pretty quickly. I was thinking more along the lines of writing a chapter one day a week. That shouldn't be to terribly bad.Then I started thinking about possible plots and characters and tried to build various ideas into a usable product. I have had plenty of ideas over the years, ideas where I would think to myself, "that would make for an interesting movie or book." It wasn't until I started writing these ideas down on paper that I realized I may have a problem.The wonderful wife.You laugh, but picture the following plots:A man in an unhappy marriage realizes the mistakes he has made in life when he is transported do a different reality after a freeway ...
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Remembering Those
2007-11-12 23:06:00
Saturday night as I drove to work, I grew tired of same mundane songs the few radio stations I could get played. So I clicked on one of my old preset buttons that I hadn't listened to in some time - WKSU, the Kent State University radio station. Now the reason I had this preset was mainly because on certain evenings that would play fantastic symphony collaborations as well as some other different genres of music that a rarely get to listen to anywhere else.Tonight it was similar to sitting in a coffee house listening to people read poetry full of meaning and singing beautiful pieces abundant in imagery. First was a commentary by country legend Merle Haggard titled 'What Happened?' followed by a lovely piece called 'Polaroids' by Shawn Colvin.Next was a song that captivated me not only because of the stunning yet simple music, but it made me realize how much I take what veterans have done for granted. I will admit, I do not know anyone who is or has been in the armed forced duri...
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A Double Life No More
2007-11-12 04:42:00
I have been a Cleveland Browns fan since the mid-1980 days of Bernie Kosar, Ozzie Newsome, Kevin Mack, Clay Matthews and the rest of the 'Dawgs'. Being that I was raised in northeast Ohio, the Cleveland games were about the only football games that were shown on a consistent basis. Throw in the fact that my father was an avid follower of the team and I was destined to be faced with The Drive and The Fumble. Every week I would be cheering the home team Browns on Sunday afternoon (and the very occasional Monday night) from the comfort of our living room.Except for 2 weeks out of the year.I blame my brother Mike for creating and nurturing my obsession. The year was 1978 and my father had taken the family to the Pro Football Hall of Fame, an act he would continue each year for the next six years. It was here that my brother would take me by the hand and lead me into the NFL Films movie theater to show me my first glimpse at greatness. My first glimpse at a powerful force that was the ...
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Men's Room Do's & Do Not's
2007-11-10 10:31:00
I have tossed around writing this post for some time. On one hand, it is something that has frustrated the hell out of me how idiotic people can be in the men's room, but on the other, I am trying to clean up my writing a little so everything doesn't revolve around poop and fart jokes.However, after some events of the past week, I can no longer hold back my anger at my fellow man and I feel the need to show others how to handle oneself in a public men's room. Now, understand that I am not a Mr. Clean Freak or anything like that. Hell, I am usually the one unable to aim or the one not putting the seat up (or down).I am not sure how things work in the ladies end of the world, but if you wish to add your two-cents feel free.BASIC MEN'S ROOM RULES DO use the furthest urinal from me when you come in the men's room and I am doing my business. You should know the drill. If not, use this as a guide. Now where I work, there are only 2 urinals with the added luxury off a divider between ...
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Power Naps Rule
2007-11-09 08:31:00
During a normal evening in which I work that night, my schedule normally goes something like this.Up at 9:30pm.Eat dinner until 10pm.Take a nice hot bathBe dressed and ready to go by 10:45pm.Last night was different - I tossed and I turned, unable to grasp those precious ZZZZ's I needed to get me through another night of work. Finally at around 7pm, I frustratingly decided to take my bath and maybe the relaxing water will make the sandman visit.It worked, as I finally slipped into dreamland at around 7:45, but only after informing my wife not to wake me until 10pm (adjustment for bathing early) and reading over her recently finished blog post (because I'm a cool kid like that). At 10 I was awoken and felt worse than when I finally got to bed. I ate my dinner, a nice little pasta dish with a side of garlic bread, then glanced at the clock. It was 10:17.Yes, before you ask, I did wolf my dinner down in 17 minutes - I was really hungry.So now I considered my options; I could go up, g...
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Trouble Maker
2007-11-08 18:43:00
I was an average kid when it came to getting in trouble in school. Looking back now, I suppose you could say I got myself in more trouble in grade school than the others, but I really don't think the things I did were that bad.I did earn myself I few swats with the paddle however. Sometimes for the silliest of things.For example, while in 3rd grade, the teacher had been having trouble with kids taking two steps at a time when climbing the stairs to our classroom from gym class. We would line up in our single file line and go up one solitary stair at a time. For a big kid like me with long legs, this was torture for me. Apparently on this day, our teacher was not satisfied with our ascent and proceeded to walk us back down the stairs for another attempt."Now kids, how many stairs to we go up at a time?" the teacher asked."One!" said the class."Two!" said a small group of three in the back of the line in which I was a part of.It probably would have never been heard had we not said it...
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Mr. Tickle Monster Hand
2007-11-08 03:21:00
In our bedroom, our mattress is not just for sleeping.Well, it's for THAT too, but that isn't where I am going with this you dirty minded silly person.Our mattress also serves as the battleground for a game that Julia likes to play. This game consists of her bouncing around and jumping and my role is to lay there and get pummeled with an array of jumps, flips and pillows. This game is called by her as 'Playing on the Bed' and is by far and away her favorite game to play with her Daddy.She has this one move where she likes to stand on my back, walk up and down it, then jump with full force on top of me while I howl in pain. The truly odd thing is, my back does feel better afterward. Maybe, George Jefferson and his neighbor Bentley had something there.*The only offense that I am allowed during this one-sided wrestling match is to occasionally grab a foot, a hand or some other extremity and tickle it like mad. She loves this so much that if it has been sometime since I successfully...
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Fictional Mail Call
2007-11-07 05:26:00
I like to consider myself a reader-friendly person, always ready and willing to answer any questions about what makes Grimm tick. So you can imagine my glee when logging into my Yahoo mail account this morning and seeing that I have 21 new emails ready for my perusal.Let's see what we have here:Tuesday free pick! from a sports betting service ... Um, no thank you.Become a nurse has sent me info on starting a new job. Believe me, you do NOT want me sticking a needle in your arm.Indians.com wants me to by some gear for my little one. Eeek, $18 for a youth Knit Cap?Kay Jewelers thinks I need to discover the legend of LeVian Jewelry. Cheapest listed is $599.99 - Gulp!LowerMyBills tells me the feds cut interest rates again. Yet we still can't sell our house in Wheeling. Sigh.eWEEK Editor's Pick is informing me 10 things I should know about MS Office alternatives. All of which I have absolutely no interest in.Ok...ok, I can see where this is going. Well due to the fact that I must have...
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Funny Stuff 2
2007-11-06 07:11:00
Not my post for the day, but I found a few more of those Robot Chicken skits.Death of He-ManGummy Bear Trap
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Funny Stuff
2007-11-05 08:08:00
I was doing my customary surf through YouTube last week when I stumbled upon a few videos that had me laughing to the point of tears. Maybe it's my immaturity, maybe because it's the era I was raised, but the videos from Robot Chicken on Adult Swim on Comedy Central are freaking hilarious.The show has apparently been on since 2005, but for some ridiculous reason I had never even heard of it. Have you guys been holding out on me? The show was created by Seth Green and Matthew Senreich and is basically a sketch show that parodies pop culture in these little 2-3 minutes skits. I'm sorry but it's funny as hell to me.Carpooling VilliansScooby Doo Meets Jason VorheesCalvin and Hobbes
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Baring It For A Great Cause
2007-11-04 15:03:00
Did you know that I have something in common with Vanessa Anne Hudgens, Jennifer Aniston, and Britney Spears?We all have topless pictures on the internet.Mine is the top pic on post.Only I did mine for a great cause.MackeyDoodle had the truly awesome idea last month that for every man boob photo she received from October 12 through October 31, she would donate $1 to Breast Cancer Research.Considering I had my head stuck up my rear for the latter half of October, spending WAY too many hours researching material for the Scary Movie Countdown and ignoring pretty much everything else, I waited until the very last day before the wonderful wife tied me to a chair and pulled my shirt over my head.At first I thought this might be some kind of new freaky foreplay that she was wanting to experiment with and even when she brought out the digital camera it didn't really register. Then after she was all finished taking pictures of my torso from all angles, she said something that put all the pi...
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Six To Midnight
2007-11-04 04:54:00
No it's not the Doomsday Clock, it's the time right now as I am trying to get something substancial for NaBloPoMo and guess what? It ain't gonna happen.With the wonderful wife being under the weather and with me spending the day mowing the grass one final time in 40 degree weather, the whole day has been kinda cold and icky.I have things to write about, but alas no time to write them for today. I mean I could cheat and change the posting date, but that would be not right (And I would lose the bet with my wife that I could post every day for a month).So forgive me for a cheapie post. Hopefully I won't be doing to many of them.Till tomorrow.
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Not Picky But Basic
2007-11-02 17:13:00
About 14 months ago, the wonderful wife posted about a disagreement we had between the differences of Little Debbie Marshmallow Treats and Rice Krispies Treats. She challenged my "basicness" due to the fact that while both treats were the same, I still preferred the Rice Krispies brand better. I tried explaining myself to her, but it was no avail. So now, 14 months later I will explain myself to you - my humble and unjudging readers.I am a basic person.I am a meat and potatoes guy. I don't need mushrooms, grilled onions or blue cheese on or with my steak thank you. And keep the sour cream away from my baked potato too. But you can sprinkle some bacon on it. Bacon = Basic .I like eggs fried or boiled. I like them warm. I do not like them cold in salads and I hate deviled eggs. Devil = Not Basic.I like macaroni, potatoes and chicken. I like salad. I do not like macaroni, potato or chicken salad. The combination of these basic things makes them...a complicated salad - which I do not li...
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