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...and Wimpy Car Horns
2007-06-02 05:20:00
I received a call while driving home from work yesterday from the wonderful wife. That in itself was no big surprise, however I am still getting used to the dang little Bluetooth contraption that my in-laws bought for me for these work trips. So, after hanging up on her on accident about three times, I finally figured out how to get connected. I may be slow, but I don't give up - it's the whole tortoise/hare enigma. Besides, the wife kept calling."Hey would you want to pick up lunch on the way home?"An honest request, except for the fact that I had just past the last exit that had any remote signs of edible food and I would have to drive another 10 miles past my exit to accomidate her inquiry."Sure hon, no problem."From there we go into a nice 15 minute discussion on where we want to eat. This is a battle, because neither her nor I can make up our minds on the place and usually toss "wherever you want to go" back and forth to each other. The discussion ends when finally little Jul...
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Post On Mutant Bugs...
2007-06-01 05:26:00
There is a popular saying that has made it's way through American culture: Everything is bigger in Texas. (or some similar variant.) Well I may have to talk to Laurie about some of those things, but there is one thing for sure that Central Ohio has the NOBODY else has.Huge freaking mutant bugs.These are the things that whiz by your head with the sound of a small single engine aircraft. These are the creatures that cause security lights to have a scrobe effect just by them flying around them. These are the devils that cause power outages whenever they are zapped by the bug zapper.They are that damn big.But stupid.These things are waiting for me at the side door when I leave for work - clinging to the window, pleading with me with their little buggy eyes to let them in so they can fulfill their destiny. Most times, I decide to take the less infested front door, but on the rare occassions I forget, they are there to rush inside for the sole reason to perform some twisted sort of forni...
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Remember Me? I Don't.
2007-05-30 07:09:00
Good grief it's been two weeks since I posted last? Damn.I could throw excuses at you. I really could. But honestly, that is all they are - excuses. Believe me though, I have had alot of fun making them up.My favorite? I have a hangnail on my thumb that hurts when I hit the spacebar.Yes, instead of looking for reasons TO write, I was looking for reasons not to. I was looking at a blank blog page as some form of torture only comparable to having to listen to Ashlee Simpson actually sing...LIVE.Bleak times I tells ya.There were a few flashes of inspiration, but not near enough that I could call a creative roll. So again, the excuses came...Forecast says it is supposed to storm tomorrow, I better not blog today in case it comes early and fries my laptop.That is not one I am proud of.The reality of it all is that the weather here has been fantastic and I have been working my butt off around the house; tearing down outbuildings, cutting down trees and building the best horseshoe pit in ...
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The Martial Arts Feline Master
2007-05-17 06:25:00
My mother-in-law is a very kind hearted soul. She is the most supportive person you are likely to ever meet and is always there to lend a hand no matter what the situation. She loves her family, loves nature and loves animals.However, there is another side to this woman - a side never seen outside of our house. This alter-ego could appear at any moment - at any time, but make no mistake - there will be a feline involved. For it is during this time that this mild-mannered grandmother turns into a warrior for the weak minded.Like Bruce Lee in combat, a war cry can be heard from somewhere within the house.Yaaacutitout!The cry itself is enough to scare most mortal humans as we scatter for safe shelter. But in this battle, the enemies are much...much...worse. And each one has nine lives.Ahhhgitdownfromthere!Her opponents are quick and agile - causing her to call upon the many years of training to keep her advantage. It is an advantage she must never lose - or else the entire balance of n...
More About: Martial Arts , Arts , Master , Line , Feline

Happy Mothers Day!
2007-05-14 03:27:00
When Daddy asked me about your giftI did not know what to say.What do you give someone,Who gives so much everyday?We whispered when you weren't lookingAnd came up with this plan.To show how much you mean to us,And to love you all we can.We spent hours in deliberation,Going over our delicate ploy.Wanting...hoping for something you'd like,And would fill your heart with joy.We wanted to get something special,Something you've never had before.Something you could place up high,Something you could adore.We thought about a vacation,A trip to a beach of golden sand.Maybe a cruise upon the ocean,Or visit a canyon so grand.I asked Daddy, "What about diamonds,Like in the Twinkle, Twinkle song?"He said your eyes are brighter than stars,And with you we both belong."I worried that we would spend too much,But Daddy said not to dwell.He said your love is priceless,And no wealth could make him sell.Our gift is not that glamourous,No fancy paper, ribbons or bows.Just the knowledge that we love you...
More About: Mothers Day , Happy , Mothers , Hers , S Day

April Showers Bring Alot Of Freaking Mud
2007-05-03 07:27:00
So how was your April ?Yeah, well mine sucked. Sorry to be blunt or crude, but it did.I first want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for the wonderfully kind words for Leslie and myself during our sabbatical from blogging. I know I speak for Leslie when I say that it feels extremely comforting to know that there are people out there that care about you and are actually concerned about your well being. Even though we have not met any of you, all of you are considered our friends and we truly appreciate you being there for us.In case you did not know, we found out about three weeks ago that Leslie may have a 'blighted ovum'. This is where the placenta and gestational sac grow as if there was a baby inside, but alas, there is no baby there. While doing research on this, we discovered that this is the most common type of miscarraige and yet amazingly we had never even heard of it. The following week, blood tests confirmed our fears. The hardest thing for me was the fact I w...
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Dealing With Things
2007-04-18 07:21:00
Just wanted to let everyone know Leslie & myself are having to deal with some things that life has thrown before us. We will be back to blogging regularly once these issues have been resolved.Keep us in your thoughts.
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A Dream Of Mother
2007-04-13 05:27:00
It's been over eight years since my mother passed away.I still hurt when I think about her.Looking back, I am continuously amazed at how immature I was during her illness. Even in my mid-twenties and her facing the toughest battles of (if not for) her life, I still took for granted that my mother would be there for me the following day. I wish I would have known better.I dreamt about my mother today. It wasn't a very long dream and it was somewhat fragmented, like 8mm film that had been spliced together. It was a peculiar dream, as my entire family was there - only in different stages of life. My father appeared modern day in appearance, yet acted very youthful and exuberant - something I have never seen do. My brothers and sister were there but were high school aged and the whole scene seemed like something from the early-80's. My mother looked amazing...she was how I imagined she would have looked in her twenties - radiant, glowing and beautiful. We were at a park and she would...
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Idol Update: The Final 8
2007-04-12 02:17:00
I skipped last week's American Idol Update to see if anyone would miss it and from the total lack of response, it's obvious nobody did. So in order to further alienate my readers, I am bringing it back.Two weeks ago Chris Sligh finally got the axe after continously getting ahead of the beat in every single song he sang. Can't say I was dissappointed, because his cockiness was beginning to wear on me. While I thought he was pretty humourous at the beginning - lately he just didn't like this show was everything to him.Last week however, I was very pissed. I thought Gina Glocksen had improved drastically over the last two weeks and did not deserve to be voted off as long as Sanjaya or even Haley was in the competition. The fact that the former is still in the competition is making the show a complete joke. The fact that the latter is around proves that the voters love a pair of legs.THE CONTENDERS 1 - Melinda DoolittleLast Rank: 1Still the class of field vocally, Melinda continues ...
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Why I Don't Watch Movies At Home Part I
2007-04-10 05:13:00
It is Saturday night at the Grimm household and the family has just finished the evening meal. We had just finished coloring eggs for Easter and while the ladies had found other things to entertain themselves, I slipped off into the living room, grabbed the remote and scanned for something appeasing to watch. The time was approximately 9:08pm.Flipping through the channels I see very little that strikes my fancy. Those few things that do, have been on for awhile and are almost over. Shame. I would have liked to have seen Blazing Saddles again from the start.And what is with the Indians getting snowed out again?Just as I was about to turn off the TV, toss the remote aside and make a jumbo ice cream sundae, I saw something. A movie no less. And it started at 9:00pm so I haven't missed much at all. So with much haste, I quickly select the Starz movie channel which is showing the newest Adam Sandler movie "Click". Now I have enjoyed most of Sandler's movies ("The price is wrong, bitch!...
More About: Movies , Watch , Home , Part

Happy Easter!
2007-04-08 19:01:00
Here is hoping you and yours a wonderful and joyous Easter holiday.
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Sleep Deprivation Is Fun
2007-04-05 05:36:00
Something I am realizing with more regularity is that the more tired I am, the more I think the most mundane things are absolutely hysterical. My family just writes it off to sleep deprivation as I sit in the corner giggling at every little thing that is said during a conversation between my wife and her mom.Wife: The lack of sleep must me hard on him.In my best Beavis & Butthead impersonation, I interrupt. "You said hard on". Then I run off laughing like a lunatic.Yes, no sleep makes me silly.Take for an example this innocent trip to the Mart of K's on Sunday. We went on a huge grocery shopping run, filling up two entire shopping carts and were on our way to the checkout when we spotted some stuffed Easter animals on display. Julia grabbed a bunny and quickly discovered that by pressing its ear it play a nice, quiet melody that she enjoyed very much. Being the inquisitive one, I grabbed what looked like a chicken and pressed its wing. All of a sudden, trumpets blared as the ch...
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My Five Year Plan
2007-04-04 05:16:00
It is my belief that every man wants to have a room in the house that he can call his own. A room that is decorated with the things HE wants with no negative feedback tolerated. A room that is big enough to hold all of his dreams and to hold all of the trophies he never won. A room with a neon sign on the wall across from the full sized Animal House poster. A room where there is always a game to play and enough refreshments to keep you playing. A room that when you friends see it for the first time, they fall to their knees and bow down before you because THIS room is the room they want to have in their homes.I will have this room.It will take some time, this I know. For as much planning as I have done for this room, mysterious new projects have suddenly appeared. And just as baffling is how these new projects have some how taken precedent above mine. No matter, nothing will keep me away from my room. I have since developed a five year plan that after which I shall have my room and ...
More About: Plan , Year , Five

Get Fuzzy
2007-03-31 05:44:00
I love comic strips. This love started at a very young age when my father would return home from a day of garage sales and bring home collections of strips such as Beetle Bailey, Peanuts, and Dennis the Menace. I would quickly snatch this treasures and seclude myself in my room for hours until the entire book was read. Newspaper sections would go missing as I would quickly snatch them up to read over and over again.While my all-time favorite would have to be Calvin & Hobbes, there is a current strip out today that I thouroughly enjoy.Due to the greatness that is blogger, you must click the picture to view full size.Get Fuzzy is written and drawn by Darby Conley and features the misadventures of Boston advertising executive Rob Wilco and his two anthromorphic (yeah, I looked it up) pets. Get Fuzzy has been published since September 1999, appears in over 200 newspapers nationwide and is in the development stages of becoming a movie.The humor comes from the differences between Satchel,...

The Cows Are Laughing At Me
2007-03-30 05:57:00
I was listening to a random radio station the today when I heard one of my favorite songs from years gone by - "Country Boy Can Survive" by Hank Williams Jr. I have always considered myself from the country, as I spent alot of my childhood at my grandparents farm in West Virginia and felt very much at home in that atmosphere.So when we got the opportunity to purchase this property in what could technically be called the country, we quickly jumped on it and left the city (albeit a smaller one) of Wheeling. I do not regret one solitary bit of making the move as I absolutely love the area we live in, however I came to a shocking realization at that moment as Hank was blaring the song over the radio.I can plow a field all day longI can catch catfish from dusk till dawnWe make our own whiskey and our own smoke tooAin't too many things these ole boys can't doWe grow good ole tomatoes and homemade wineAnd a country boy can surviveCountry folks can surviveAnd we can skin a buck; we can ru...
More About: Cows , Laugh , Laughing

Idol Update: And then there were 10
2007-03-29 01:17:00
Stephanie Edwards got the boot last week, which is not surprising since apparently Howard Stern has his legion of fans voting for my favorite and yours, Sanjaya. Stephanie just did not sound well in her performance and was very brief and abrupt in her singing of the lyrics, so her exit was not surprising. Chris Richardson being in the final two was, because I actually think he is better that Blake going into this week.This week we get the favorite songs of Gwen Stefani. Which means tonight we'll get a Gwen Stefani performance. Unfortunately, this also meant the contestants felt compelled to sing No Doubt songs therebt breaking rule #7 of American Idol : Never sing the song of the person mentoring you unless you are forced to (aka Diana Ross).I have $1 that says Sanjaya's phone line is busy throughout the voting process. Let's just say - it won't be from people voting.THE CONTENDERS 1 - Melinda DoolittleLast Week Rank: 1Good performance. Nothing I can really complain about other t...
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Confessions Of A Bad Blogger
2007-03-27 10:44:00
Man have I been slammed over the last few weeks. There just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day. It's always work - sleep - work - sleep with maybe a little bit of eating thrown in there somewhere. When you get down to it, I have been so busy, I have barely had time to kiss my wife and daughter. Yessiree, I have been Mr. Busybody. Busy, busy, busy, busy....What is that? Quit with the B.S.?Are you insinuating that I am not giving 110% to this blog and its supporters? Are you implying that I am that I am putting My Grimm Reality on the backburner and that my lack of commenting is in no way related to how swamped I have been?Ok, I admit it. I have been severely slacking in my duties as a blogger.In search of finding answers as to why this is, I have found little aside from the following facts.I do know that since that fateful day I committed accidental compucide on my laptop that I have been relegated to using the PC in the dungeon for blogging - not the optimum location for c...
More About: Blogger , Confessions , Confession , Sion , Logger

Music Meme aka Tone Def
2007-03-26 05:31:00
Last Thursday, Gunfighter nailed me for a music meme as payback for all the meme's I send his way. (You can deny this Bill, but deep down - I know.) Being that I have spent entire weeks debating 80's music, you would think that this would be easy. You would be wrong.Here are the guidelines:List seven songs you are into right now, no matter what they are. They must be songs you are presently enjoying. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.Ok, this presents a few problems. First, I haven't listened to the radio for music in a looong time and my selections of CD's have been the result of choices made by my soon-to-be three year old. Second, I don't have seven friends to tag! Yes, it's true. Woe is me.Enough with my self-pity. On with the countdown!1. Free Bird by Lynard SkynardI have to give some serious props to Leslie for working her butt off to get through Guitar Hero II on the medium level just so I get the chance to murder this song. But man is it fun...
More About: Meme , Music , Tone

My Little Pony Porn Star
2007-03-24 04:22:00
Today, Julia and I were playing the innocent My Litt le Pony Memory game, when I couldn't help myself from recalling a quiz I was emailed some 5...6...10 years ago about whether you could tell who was the porn star and who was the My Little Pony.Thankfully, the names have gotten a little better since then.Although the names Sunny Daze, Cotton Candy, Autumn Skye, Pinkie Pie, Winter Snow and Rainbow Dash could just have easily been seen at some college kegger that all the guys who didn't have girlfriends would go to.Not that I know anything about those mind you.So I have created a quiz to test your My Little Pony / Porn Star knowledge. You may have seen variations of this quiz throughout the internet, however I wanted to have an actual record of what you guys scored to I put a new one up here.Tomorrow I will be working on meme that Gunfighter tagged me with. So hopefully you will tune in.

American Idol: Round of 11
2007-03-23 00:11:00
Last week, Brandon Rogers signed his exit papers when he forgot the words to "You Can't Hurry Love" and somehow, someway, America chose to forgive Sanjaya for murdering yet another song, this time "Ain't No Mountain High Enough." Sanjaya, buddy, there ain't no mountain high enough to keep me from hearing those god-awful off-key screeches that come from your mouth. Speaking as a friend, of course. While Brandon did commit the ultimate sin, Sanjaya needed to go and until he does, this competitin will have a very dark cloud over its head.This week it would be British Invasion week. An interesting choice, that personally I thought would cause alot of problems for the contestants. For the most part, save for you know who, I was wrong - everyone sang extremely well.I guarantee you that girl that bawled through the entire show will mysteriously show up at the season finale. Someone say all expenses paid ratings grabber? Eck. Was it just me or did she seem absolutely terrified of Sanjaya...
More About: American Idol , American , Idol , Round

A Blog Quickie
2007-03-22 04:11:00
Seeing as I haven't seen the full performance show due to my wifes doctor's appointment (yes it is official now) and some much needed sleep, I will have my Idol Update posted tomorrow before I watch the results show. Thank God for DVR's.I also will be performing some blog maintenance early Thursday morning so if things looked totally screwed up...well they probably are.So I leave you with a freaky clip from Portugal. In all honesty it is pretty boring until the last few minutes, but I guess it delivers somewhat of a backstory. Another 7 minutes you will never get back.
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Tell Me You Didn't Just Say That
2007-03-21 04:41:00
It was a beautiful day today, a very warm 52 degrees with a cloudless sky. Leslie, Julia and I decided to run a few errands to get outside and enjoy the sunshine after being cooped up for so long inside.During the trip home we discussed many things, much of which had to do with our unborn child. The topics varied, from the excitement of the doctors appointment tomorrow to the whether Julia will have a little brother or sister to the possible birthdates of the baby. Then to my horror, my wife said something that actually made my hair stand on end and a chill go down my spine..."What if we had twins?""No, don't talk like that...you don't know what you are doing..." I tried to cut the conversation off in the bud - to try and keep this conversation from going any further. I failed."I mean, I know it's a statistical impossibility to have natural twins without the use of fertilization drugs or something..." she continued.Oh no. Not only has she given God the Comedian a new weapon to us...
More About: That , Tell , Tell Me

The Real Fear Factor
2007-03-20 04:00:00
In case you have not heard the news yet from this post, my greatest fear has been realized. My wife is unofficially officially pregnant.Why unofficially? Because the appointment for the doctor to officially declare her pregnant is not until Wednesday.Ok, so then how can it be officially? You see those positive tests over there? Those are just two of the four she has taken - so it is a pretty safe bet that she is.Those that have read this blog in the last week know how I feel about this. (If not read this). With her announcement to me, I found that I was torn with a mixture of emotions. I was ecstatic at the thought of another addition to our family. To be able to relive those feelings of a newborn in my arms or sleeping on my chest excites me to no end.And yet I am terrified.I am now walking on eggshells - keeping a very safe distance from my wife. Having Julia around has been a great distraction so I can spend every conscious moment aware of where my wife is and being extremely car...
More About: Fear , Real , Factor , Actor , Fear Factor

The Greatest Feeling
2007-03-17 04:39:00
Back in May of 2006, my wife asked me if I would like to do a monthly article for her newly created website, My Mommy's Place. I agreed, and a few months later, started My Grimm Reality. Now it is almost 10 months since that proposal and My Mommy's Place is growing...and growing...and growing. I am very proud of Leslie for the work and effort she has put into the site - she has taken her dream and made it a reality.Below is the very first article I wrote for her back in May and you can read all of the articles I have written for her, by going here. Seeing that I am working another 'Weekend from Hell', my brain is currently mush, so I hope this will suffice for today.It was the night after she was born. Her mother was finally getting a few hours of sleep after an exhausting labor and here I was in a room full of silence holding my little girl. She was wrapped tight in her blanket like a giant burrito. My hand slowly rubbed her back as she slept; her tiny head leaned against my ch...
More About: Test , Feeling , Feel , The G , Greatest

Marie LaVeau
2007-03-16 04:46:00
"If you ever get down to where the black trees grow,And meet a voodoo lady named Mari e LaVeau.If she ever asks you to make her your wife,Man you better stay with her for the rest of your life."- "Marie LaVeau" by Bobby BareAbout a week ago Laurie left a comment about Marie LaVeau on one of my posts. Now I was raised in country music and being a fan of Bobby Bare back in the day, I seriously thought that Marie LaVeau was a fictional character in a song that nobody but me has ever heard of.I stand corrected.Apparently Marie is pretty popular down in New Orleans even though she has been gone for over 120 years. She was an American practitioner of voodoo who combined Roman Catholic beliefs and saints with African spirits and religious concepts.The result? One freaky chick who put the fear in a whole lot of people.She is buried in Saint Louis Cemetary #1 in New Orleans and her tomb continues to attract visitors hoping LaVeau would grant them wishes by drawing three crosses (XXX) on the s...

Idol Update
2007-03-14 21:24:00
A few weeks ago I gave my predictions here for whom I thought would make the final 12. I correctly predicted 8 for a percentage of 67%, but the fact that I had Antonella Barba going on to the final 12 should have me officially banned from doing any more of these reports.Now that the final 12 have performed for the first time together last night, I will give my listings as to where I rank them as well as how I much I thought they have improved or digressed. I won't be listing them as I feel the judges will be listing them, but how I feel.What does this mean coming from me? Not a damn thing. The Barba Incident has completely killed any credibility I may have had.THE CONTENDERS 1 - Melinda DoolittlePre-Show Rank: 1Her performance was strong as always, but lacked the punch that had made me go "WOW" like last week. By no means a bad performance, but not one that could distance herself from Lakisha. Melinda is still the leader, but the gap between her and Miss Jones is closer than ever. ...
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Brownie Points For A Year
2007-03-13 04:57:00
...or at least for a week or two.(Leslie's Blog - More info on our trip.)I have to say that our weekend getaway was everything I could have planned and much, much more. The cabin itself was beautiful with almost everything made of wood - even the bed and sofa frames as well as all other furniture. To be honest, I was transformed into a little kid again, while curling up on the sofa whining "I want one!". I could imagine living myself living in something so elegant, yet so simple.The surroundings were so peaceful and quiet that we took pleasure it the simplest of things - like sitting in the rocking chairs on the front porch, eating Pop-Tarts and watching an early morning rain fall. The wildlife were abundant, from rabbits to chipmunks to opossums - but were not overabundant to the point of distraction. The nights were clear, free of both clouds and airline traffic. The stars blazed in the open sky making one to lay for hours looking for shooting stars.The sensual sensation of our h...
More About: Point , Points , Year , Brownie

I Fell / I Fall
2007-03-09 20:02:00
(I am stealing the wife for the weekend for our anniversary, so for an added bonus, I give you a poem I wrote for her earlier this year)I Fell / I Fall I fell in love on our first date when you held my hand so tight,When you reached down and took my hand, Ifelt my heart take flight.I fell in love on our first kiss, the outside world stuck in time,From that moment I knew my heart was no longer mine.I fell in love on our wedding day when you said the words, "I Do."Together we are husband and wife - we are the power of two.I fell in love with the talks we'd have about what lies ahead,We'll take what life gives us and we'll walk the path we're led.I fell in love on that night you faced uncertainty,And told me our two was soon becoming a three.I fell in love that wonderful day our family grew by one,Then and there I had no doubt what kind of mother you'd become.I fell in love with your compassion, understanding and care,Knowing you are beside me - anyplace, anytime, anywhere.I fall i...

Elvis Has Left The Building
2007-03-09 05:22:00
It was around a month ago that I had posted about online karaoke and how my wife had become addicted. After much poking and prodding, my wife had convinced me to record a duet with her. Up until now, there was no reason for me to embarrass myself any further by posting my performance on this blog - even with the pleading of my better half. Seeing that my wife and I having an anniverary coming up and I want to show her how appreciative I am for putting up with me for three years plus, she will get her wish.Clicking the picture above will take you to the four songs that have been recorded. My wife has done wonderful renditions of George Michael's "Faith" and Belinda Carlisle's "Heaven Is A Place On Earth", little Julia shows her vocal pipes on "The Alphabet Song" and Grimm makes his My Grimm Reality online recording debut on "Bye Bye Love".Cherish this moment, for you will not hear my glass shattering vocal demonstrations until Randy Jackson comes begging for me to record an album j...
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God: The Comedian
2007-03-08 05:20:00
If I have learned nothing else in life, I have learned this one thing: I am living proof that God has a sense of humor. And a morbid one at that.Want examples?Age 8: At my grandparents farm in West Virginia, there was a huge fenced off area where the cows, chickens and other livestock were raised. The gate to enter this area was a fair bit away from the house, so as a shortcut, my cousin and I would often climb the fence to play in the fields on the other side. Now at the top of this fence was a wire that at one point had electricity running through it - a crude version of the modern day electric fences that hold cattle today. Now this wire had not worked in years, so there was no fear of electrocution. That was until God decided to have some fun...Oh my little Grimmy, growing up so fast. Look at you, climbing that fence when all you had to do was walk another 200 yards to the gate. You lazy boy. I wonder what would happen if I turned that fence on? As if I didn't know - I am God. ...
More About: Comedian , Come , Dian , Median