Thought 4 the DayThought 4 the DayA satirical web service providing thoughts for the day. Or not. It depends on how successful our current employee incentive scheme is working. At the moment, we've got their kids in a lock-up garage, but that's enough levity. We're behind you. 
Articles
Life
2007-03-19 21:09:00 Into each life a little rain must fall.So get a coat. Get over it.Remember, one man's loss is another man's umbrella.Was that two thoughts?We think so. But wait a moment.Before you start getting hot under the collar and screaming 'Buy one get one free!'We're not like that. That sort of thing only causes endless waste and needless packaging.We're strictly wysiwyg.Or is it earwig? Or woogawooga?Damn this dyslexia!We don't need marketing gimmicks.And anyway, with T4td Corp - every day is a special offer.We're not like those supermarket giants.Speaking of which - perhaps they deserve a post all of their own.Until then,watch out for that rain.Sincerely,T4td Corp.We're in your mind. More About: Life
Celebrity Friday
2007-03-16 17:03:00 Today's celebrity is a best-selling poet.Her name is Margaret and she has written many books of poetry that would be of special interest to lovers of campanology. She has had these books published at great personal expense and she is certainly the best at selling them. In fact, she's the only person that will sell them.All of her family buy copies of her books, and any callers to the house always leave with a copy - often against their will or without their knowledge. At weekends Margaret can be found wandering the streets and pestering the elderly. She doesn't sell them books, she just really hates old people.Margaret was awarded a prize for her, in her view, most successful anthology entitled Summoned by the Balls. She has framed her prize certificate, mainly to obscure the smudge she made by taking it off the ink-jet too soon.Here is her, poetical, thought:I really love to ring the bells,To hear their music often,Some say I ring them much too loud,They've caused my brain ... More About: Celebrity , Celeb , Friday , Frida
Satisfaction
2007-03-15 14:30:00 Satisfied?We hope so. If not, then please apply for a full refund.T4td Corp will then send one of our Thought Reclamation Operatives to repossess all of the thoughts you've received. Naturally, those thoughts are the property of T4td Corp and if you're not going to pay for them, you don't get to keep them. The procedure is quick and you won't feel a thing - once your body has gone into shock. Just sign the Thought Release form, slip on a few restraints (for your own protection) and our operatives will have a probe up your nose before you can say - well, anything. A quick wiggle of the probe, a few volts here and there, and those thoughts will come flooding out.Please remember, we also own all the words that go to make up those thoughts, so after the procedure, you may have trouble stringing a sentence together. And seeing in colour. And you might start tasting words. And maybe falling over a bit. But hey, remember the sixties? Well not after this you won't.We'll leav... More About: Action , Fact , Sati , Satisfaction
Grave Thoughts
2007-03-14 14:15:00 Grave, n. A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.Bierce, A. (The Enlarged Devil's Dictionary)Today's thought is especially poignant as Ambrose Bierce's year of death has a question mark beside it. Is it that we're not sure when he died, or are we not sure whether he died.Perhaps that question can only be answered by a medical student.At T4td Corp we were almost interested in medicine. We trialled a service of Diagnosis 4 the Day. It used the latest in AI and responded directly to descriptions of symptoms. But after a brief exciting period of diagnosing rare tropical diseases, it became disillusioned and we discovered that it just kept repeating one of three things:It's stressTake a painkillerIt's a virus.That was unexciting but marketable. We kept it going until it started demanding afternoons off and an Audi, and then we had to 'retire' it. It now spends most of the year in the Bahamas and the rest skiing in Switzerland.Until Tom... More About: Thoughts , Rave , Thought , Grave
Hankering
2007-03-13 19:50:00 Do you ever hanker?We do. We hanker for the old days. Were you with us at the beginning?Sure it was only three months ago, but what months they've been.A lot of our readers though, are recent converts to the T4td Way (TM). Well we don't mind that. In fact we welcome them. We even provide an extra service for them, whereby we assume that they've been there all along, and charge them accordingly (plus interest of course).But if you are one of our newer customers, please remember that T4td is always original, always different, and is composed fresh each day.Other blogs often give you only variations along one of four lines:1 - 'Hey guess what I did today'2 - 'Hey, here's a video of a fat man'3 - 'Look, this picture could be slightly amusing if you look at it in a certain way even though everyone knows it's just a snap of a cat taken from an odd camera angle'4 - 'This is my blog about blogging and would you like to be on my list of as many links as possible?'At T4td, ... More About: Ring , Keri , Hank , Erin
The Thinking Blog
More articles from this author:2007-03-08 21:50:00 T4td Corp is a great fan of thinking. There should be more of it. We'd even go so far as to say that everyone should think, almost daily. We understand that this would be almost impossible for politicians, P.E. Teachers and Police Chiefs, but they could at least try couldn't they?For instance, did you notice that all those three jobs begin with the letter 'P'? If you did, then you may not have realised it, but you were actually thinking. Good wasn't it?Now try this - perhaps the stigma of jobs beginning with the letter 'p' makes psychologists keep their 'p' silent - very crafty.Or maybe, you're thinking that this is all just nonsense.If you are, then maybe you should try The Think ing Blog . Thinking is what its' all about.Fuel your brain. Feed those little synapses.Thinking could become almost second nature to you. It could really catch on. Perhaps one day, they'll even teach it in our schools - wouldn't that be something?So if you're thinking of thinking, don... More About: King 1, 2, 3 |
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