instant Humourinstant HumourA humour blog with the funniest jokes, photos, videos, stories and anecdotes. Clean humor for everyone and safe for all places. Articles
The blonde painter
2008-02-29 13:23:00 A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde ... More About: Blonde , Painter , Sardar
How God balances things!!
2008-02-29 12:54:00 1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want. 2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 3. A successful man is one who makes more money ... More About: Things
10 things you don?t like to hear during surgery
2008-02-25 11:38:00 I?ve just recently had a surgery for my right hand and I know how scary it feels just thinking about going under the knife. I had a good laugh reading this joke today. But seriously - these are 10 things that I surely don?t want to hear my doctor say? * Has anyone seen my watch? * ... More About: Hear , Surgery , Things
Football demystified
2008-02-25 11:28:00 A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right at the fifty yard line. It was exciting too, a real nail biter. After the game, he asked her if she had a good time. ?Oh, I really liked it,? she replied, ?especially the tightpants and all the big muscles, ... More About: Football , Sardar
The blonde Patient in pain
2008-02-25 11:20:00 A girl says to her doctor, ?You have to help me. I hurt all over.? She touches her right knee with her index finger and says, ?Ow! That hurts.? She touches her left cheek with her index finger and says, ?Ouch! That hurts, too.? She touches her right earlobe with her index finger and says, ... More About: Pain , Blonde , Patient , Sardar
MasterCard Moments 4
2008-02-18 09:57:00 © instant Humour - visit the site for more hilarious jokes. ... More About: Funny Pictures , Moments , Mastercard
Cool break-up
2008-01-23 06:21:00 A soldier stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter from his girl friend back home. It read as follows: Dear Ricky, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I’m sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you. Love, Becky The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers ... More About: Break Up , Cool , Break
How Share Markets work?
2008-01-22 13:10:00 While I am talking monkey, here’s one more joke that I had received a long time ago. I had totally forgotten it. But I remembered this one after seeing the stock markets around the world crash in the last few days. A man and his assistant walked into a village and stated that they would buy ... More About: Markets , Work , Share
Monkey talk
2008-01-22 13:04:00 A week ago Australian cricketer, Andrew Symmonds, lodged a complaint against Indian Off spinner Harbhajan Singh accusing Harbhajan of making racial comments against him. Symmonds claimed that Harbhajan singh called him a “MONKEY”. After a hearing Harbhajan was banned for 3 test matches. Well I think it wasn’t Harbhajan’s mistake. What if he googled for “Monkey ” and ... More About: Talk
Sardar?s Job Interview
2008-01-18 10:31:00 A sardarji goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer starts with the basics. “So, Mr., can you tell us your age, please?” The sardarji counts carefully on his fingers for half a minute before replying. “Um … 22.” The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. “And can you tell us your height, ... More About: Interview , Sardar
Yoga Postures
2008-01-10 12:45:00 Caution: This version of the posture requires considerable strength in neck, shoulder and back, requiring years of practice to achieve. It should not be attempted without supervision. But, an Irish gentleman has come up with a new and ingenious way to perform these Yogic postures very easily. . . . . . . . . . . . He claims only 6 pegs of whiskey can get anybody to ... More About: Yoga , Funny Pictures
Changes in English language
2008-01-10 06:42:00 Recently I had pointed out so many inconsistencies & difficulties in English language. It seems that its not just me. Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC, the European Parliament has commissioned a feasibility study in ways of improving efficiency in communications between Government departments. European officials have often pointed out that English spelling ... More About: English Language , Language
Little Johnny?s assignment on childbirth
2008-01-09 07:27:00 Little Johnny was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his mother, “How was I born?” “The stork brought you to us.” “Oh,” said Little Johnny. “Well, how did you and daddy get born?” he asked. “Oh, the stork brought us too.” “So. . . how were grandpa and grandma born?” “Well, darling, the stork brought them too,” said ...
Mamma Bear
2008-01-08 10:02:00 This woman has surely done a lot of introspection. And sure enough she knows what she wants. If at all life was that easy © instant Humour - visit the site for more hilarious jokes. ... More About: Bear
MasterCard Moments 3
2008-01-07 13:20:00 © instant Humour - visit the site for more hilarious jokes. ... More About: Funny Pictures , Moments , Mastercard , Aster
The Buffalo Theory
2008-01-07 07:03:00 (In one episode of ‘Cheers’, Cliff is seated in the bar describing the Buffalo Theo ry to his buddy, Norm. I don’t think I’ve ever heard the concept explained any better than this…) “Well you see, Norm, its like this… A heard of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the heard ... More About: Anecdotes
Little Johnny?s case for promotion
2008-01-03 13:46:00 I have been sitting on this joke for quite some time. The reason being this is quite long joke. But I still could leave it coz its absolutely hilarious. Check it out. A first-grade teacher, Ms Janet ( Age 28) was having trouble with one of her students The teacher asked,”Little Johnny what is your problem?” Little Johnny ... More About: Promotion , Case
Happy New Year to everyone
2008-01-01 12:44:00 I wish all my readers a very very happy and prosperous year ahead. I would like to thank all my readers for their support and encouragement. Without which I dont think this blog would have been what it is today. I request support from all of you to make this blog one of the best humor blogs ... More About: New Year , Happy , Happy New Year , Year
The best interview ever
2007-12-27 12:29:00 This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to sponsor Boy Scouts visiting his military installation. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to ... More About: Interview
Actual leave notes!!
2007-12-23 18:46:00 These are excuse notes from parents (with their original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country, amazingly funny: 1) My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him. 2) Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. 3) Dear School: Please exscuse John ... More About: Notes , Leave
MasterCard Moments 2
2007-12-18 16:17:00 © instant Humour - visit the site for more hilarious jokes. ... More About: Funny Pictures , Moments , Mastercard , Aster
Wisdom of age-3
2007-12-18 15:54:00 An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an ... More About: Wisdom
Excuse me, Do you speak English??
2007-12-15 10:05:00 I had told you people yesterday How difficult and crazy English is. If some of you out there still not convinced watch this video. I just dont know what has happened to me that I am going after English language post after post. But I’m enjoying it nontheless. I just wish any of my English teachers get to ... More About: Funny Videos , Speak , Excuse
Not taking any chances
2007-12-14 12:42:00 A man, his wife, and his mother in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land. While they were there, the mother-in-law passed away. The undertaker told them, “You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150.00.” The man thought about it and told him he would ... More About: Taking , Chances
Crazy English language
2007-12-14 12:16:00 This is not the first time I’m writing about the inconsistencies in the language, First it was English Proverbs and then about how dangerous English was. Well, now one more. I’m wondering whether I should start writing in some other language:-) Let’s face it, English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ... More About: English Language , Crazy , Language
A day in the life of a dog
2007-12-14 07:16:00 I got it as an email forward. But its the work of Dan Reynolds. All his cartoons are equally brilliant, Check them out. © instant Humour - visit the site for more hilarious jokes. ... More About: Life , Day In The Life
The difference between guts and balls
2007-12-13 08:09:00 We’ve all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below …. GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having ... More About: Balls , Difference , Diff
Apple launches multi purpose- iBlade
2007-12-13 07:07:00 After the GPS device and the New SeatBelt Design, today for one more launch exclusively on instantHumour.com Tired of Piracy and Spam, Steve Jobs has decided to take matters in its own hands, or rather in its users hands! Inside sources have been quoted saying “Its no use just standing by and doing nothing but just ... More About: Apple , Funny Pictures , Multi , Purpose
Incredible story about an elephant
2007-12-11 16:35:00 A young man was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from college. While he was walking through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed so the man approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant’s foot. ... More About: Story , Incredible , Elephant
Pocket Taser
More articles from this author:2007-12-11 10:34:00 A guy who purchased his wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this. Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized ... More About: Anecdotes , Pocket 1, 2, 3 |
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