The Bullshattuck BlogThe Bullshattuck BlogThe Bullshattuck Blog is a collection of humorous essays written by Ryan Shattuck. The site covers a wide variety of topics, from politics and religion to pop culture. And win a free netflix gift certificate by visiting! Articles
How to Piss Off the Citizenry of Salt Lake City, as Observed by Bullshattuc
2007-11-09 17:00:00 The Salt Lake Tribune can write an article on gay marriage. Boo hoo, no one cares. The Salt Lake Tribune can write an article on abortion. Waa waa, no one blinks an eye. The Salt Lake Tribune can write an article on the pros and cons of killing one's mother-in-law by giving her antacid laced with rat poison and then pushing her down the stairs once she becomes groggy and disoriented. Yawn yawn, no even notices. But you want to piss people off? You want to turn the entire Salt Lake Valley upside down and inside out, where citizens turn against citizens, in a battle-to-the-finish of State -vs- Religion? You want a response so massive to your Salt Lake Tribune article, that people take to the streets looking for blood? Simply write an article on "Single word change in Book of Mormon speaks volumes", and then get out of the way as the mobs seek revenge. It goes without saying that Salt Lake City is a bizarre dichotomy of Headquarters of the LDS Church and The Most Liberal and Agn... More About: Piss
November 9th - Whats New(s) With Bullshattuck
2007-11-09 14:00:00 TIPPING Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton was recently accused, in an interview on National Public Radio, of not leaving a good tip. Anita Esterday, a waitress at the Maidrite Restaurant in Toledo, Iowa, told NPR she had served lunch to Clinton and her entourage last Thursday, but was surprised to learn she didn't receive a tip a from the group. Esterday, who had shared her story of being a single mom working two jobs, commented, "I mean, nobody got left a tip that day. I don't think she understood at all what I was saying." Upon realizing the oversight, campaign spokesman Phil Singer mentioned that a tip of $100 had in fact been left. Clinton, who made a similiar mistake in her 2000 Senate race, apologized at the time by sending the slighted served a $100 savings bond. In a related story, sociologists have recently noted a migration trend in which hundreds of doctors, lawyers and other related careers have been observed moving every four years to Iowa to take up jobs as wa... More About: November
Abusive Couples, Bullshattuck, & You
2007-11-09 02:00:00 Is it wrong to secretly hope that the incredibly loud, argumentative, obnoxious, abusive neighbors who live next door to you and fill most hours of most days with emotional yelling and pounding of walls, eventually beat each other to death? If so, consider me wrong. More About: Couples , Abusive
November 8th - Whats New(s) With Bullshattuck
2007-11-08 20:00:00 MOTHER Lynne Spears, the woman responsible for bringing Britney Spears into this world, recently had an interview with Life & Style Weekly magazine, in which she commented on Britney's unusual behavior as of late. "I blame myself. What mother wouldn't?" Lynne Spears continued, "I wish I'd been there more while she was touring. But I couldn't be. I had the other kids to look after." Making the most of a bad situation - i.e. an interview with Life & Style Weekly magazine - Lynne Spears made a point of mentioning her memoir coming out next Mother's Day, titled "Pop Culture Mom: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World." When asked what she thought of Britney's behavior of several months ago in which she shaved her head and attacked paparazzi with an umbrella, Lynne Spears made a point of mentioning her memoir coming out next Mother's Day, titled "Pop Culture Mom: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World." Requesting her opinion concerning Britney's rece... More About: November
Losing Life, Home More Important Than Losing Wallet
2007-11-08 14:00:00 (This article was published in the November 8th, 2007 issue of the The Daily Utah Chronicle) I lost my wallet on TRAX a few weeks ago. Like any regular mature adult, I absolutely flipped out upon realizing that I didn’t know where my wallet was. I took my apartment apart to see if it was there, I tried to remember how much money was in my wallet (I think we all know the answer to that), I called my credit card companies and yelled at them to order me new cards, I may have punched a hole in the wall, and its possible I even I kicked my dog – despite the fact that he already knows the rules against being the perfect height for punting. In short, I went bat-defecation crazy. Needless to say, I cope with losing things as well as Dame Edna Everage copes with understatement. Nothing is more frustrating than losing something, particularly something that we use on a regular basis. Scientists may be right about a lot of things, but looking into deep outer space for signs of a blac... More About: Life , Home , Wallet
Bullshattuck Supports the Writers Guild of America
2007-11-08 01:00:00 BULLSHATTUCK'S OFFICIAL STATEMENT ON THE WRITERS GUILD OF AMERICA'S STRIKE As a not-very-good writer, I empathize with the 12,000 writers who always seem to be on the short end of a getting-the-shaft stick, and agree with the Writers Guild of America 's decision to strike. The production companies are being uncharacterisitically greedy, and I strongly believe that writers should be paid much more - they are after all, the flesh and blood and pen juice of most television shows that use words. Said striking writer Zoe Green, who recently sold her first pilot, "This will be very tough for me personally, but I 100 percent support our cause. I'm going to be struggling on $6,000 until this ends." Writers are being forced to survive off a mere $6,000?! What do the production companies think they are - animals? Animals who write television shows? I totally know where Zoe Green's coming from - a mere $6,000 is only a year's worth of my rent. Barbaric! The strike has been supported by ... More About: Writers Guild of America , Writers Guild
November 7th - Whats New(s) With Bullshattuck
2007-11-07 15:00:00 MAYOR Ralph Becker, the Democratic Utah House leader, beat Dave Buhler in yesterday's elections for mayor of Salt Lake City. Becker's win over Buhler was the widest mayoral margin in the past several elections in Salt Lake City, where a Mormon Republican has not been mayor in nearly three decades. Celebrating his win at an election party at Squatters Pub Brewery, Becker commented: "It is important that there be another view represented in this state . . . I want us to succeed together, I want to be united." Former mayor of Salt Lake City Rocky Anderson, who was seen sulking on the corner outside of the election party, released the following statement: "I am happy for Ralph Becker and want to congratulate him on winning the election. Before I relinquish the mayor's seat however, I did want to announce that starting today, I will be running for a 3rd term in this year's election despite the fact that the election is already over. My attorneys are still trying to figure out how ... More About: November , November 7
Bullshattuck's Coverage of Utah's 2007 Election Results
2007-11-07 05:03:00 Are you following Utah's 2007 Election results on the Salt Lake Tribune's website or on KSL Newsradio's website or on the Deseret News' website or on KCPW's website? Why bother? Instead, follow Utah's 2007 Election results on bullshattuck.com - much more timely, accurate, and with an aftertaste of lemon chicken and menthol! Sure, bullshattuck.com itself may rely on the Salt Lake Tribune's website or KSL Newsradio's website or the Deseret News' website or KCPW's website... but why should you? UTAH'S 2007 ELECTION RESULTS, (updated 10:38pm) Sponsored by Bullshattuck.com and Crisco "Crisco: Having less and less to do with 'cooking' since 1911!" 10:37 BUHLER CONCEDES TO BECKER! CONGRATULATIONS RALPH BECKER, NEW MAYOR OF SALT LAKE CITY! 10:30pm I'm giving up for the night, so here's the final wrap-up as of 10:30... STATE REFERENDUM 1 *Against: 193,404 *For: 111,187 SALT LAKE CITY MAYOR *Ralph Becker: 24,756 *Dave Buhler: 13,637 SALT LAKE CITY PROP 1: PUBLIC SAF... More About: Results , Coverage
November 6th - Whats New(s) With Bullshattuck
2007-11-06 22:00:00 OSMONDS It was recently announced by Entertainment Tonight on their website that George Osmond, father of professional superstar celebrities Donny and Marie Osmond (no relation, aside from the sibling thing), had passed away at the age of 90. Upon hearing the news of his father's death, superstar Donny Osmond reacted with the poise and composure that one might expect from an individual who had recently lost their 90-year old father. The reaction of superstar Marie Osmond however, was with the same dignity and grace that one might expect from Marie Osmond: -bullshattuck More About: November
Bullshattuck Retracts His Support for Barack Obama
2007-11-06 14:00:00 A wag of the finger at Barack Obama . I learned today that supporters for Barack "I'm so black, I'm starting to peel" Obama were the ones responsible for keeping All-American Stephen Colbert off the ballot in South Carolina. I have to admit, I'm terribly disappointed that Barack "I'm so sincerely serious, I can make a scowl look like a feature story about Lindsay Lohan on Entertainment Tonight" Obama's campaign would stoop so low. Really, what is he afraid of? Could it possibly be because, as the Harvard Crimson points out, "...it took his [Barack Obama's] Facebook group, “Barack Obama: 1,000,000 Strong for Barack” eight months to garner 381,000 members. Colbert’s had 750,000 in less than a week?" Could it possibly be because his sense of humor is as sharp as a piece of wet cardboard, as seen here in his cameo on Saturday Night Live? COULD IT POSSIBLY BE BECAUSE BARACK "I'M SO AMERICAN I MAKE BALD EAGLES LOOK LIKE ISLAMOFASCIST TERRORISTS" OBAMA IS AFRAID THAT ST... More About: Support
The Daily Bullshattuck Guarantee (tm)
2007-11-06 08:00:00 I'm an incredibly lazy person. For that reason, I give you The Daily Bullshattuck Guarantee (tm). To prove how lazy I truly am, I didn't even bother trademarking the name "The Daily Bullshattuck Guarantee." If you choose to use "The Daily Bullshattuck Guarantee" as the name of your new 80's niche video rental emporium - I can't sue you. It's yours. I own no trademark. Yes, I'm that lazy. HOW THE DAILY BULLSHATTUCK GUARANTEE (TM) WORKS: 1.) To conquer such laziness, I, blogger of www.bullshattuck.com, do promise you, reader of www.bullshattuck.com, that I will update my site on a daily basis. 2.) You visit www.bullshattuck.com on a daily basis, or however often you wish (i.e. daily). 3.) If you happen to visit my site on any given day and discover that by 12:00pm MST I have not updated my site, email me and tell me what a douchebag* I am. The first person to email me that day will receive their choice of a $10 gift certificate to Netflix -OR- a $10 gift certificate to App...
Let's Not Talk About Sex
2007-10-25 15:00:00 (This article was published in the October 25th, 2007 issue of the The Daily Utah Chronicle) If for only a moment, let’s forget about our political differences. Let’s set aside partisan social issues. Let’s leave behind our religious bickering. Let us – if for only one column – discuss a topic that causes no argument, encourages no disagreements, and inspires no revolutions. Let’s talk about sex. After politics and religion, nothing heats people up like sex. No pun intended. Well, pun intended, but intended to be more tongue in cheek. Well yes, a tongue in cheek, but not of the sexual nature. Ok, perhaps a punny, tongue in cheek comment like “nothing heats people up like sex” is meant to be sexual in nature, but not overtly, and rather meant for the punny, sexy, tonguey nature in which it was first implied and… thus one sees a demonstration of how sticky the topic of sex might be. Sticky? Sex? Also not a pun. I quit. People rarely win when discussing the... More About: Talk
U Campus Not Immune to Hatred, Homophobia
2007-10-18 15:00:00 (This article was published in the October 18th, 2007 issue of the The Daily Utah Chronicle) If I may be excused for a small self-indulgence, I’d like to share the following life-affirming poem: go home faggots back to your prissy little pink closets where you belong, we’re tired of your prancing lisspy candy asses flitting around the campus! Not to spoil the ending of the film American Beauty for anyone who hasn’t seen it, but I would be willing to bet all sixty-something albums of Barbra Streisand (I’ll also throw in all sixty-seven of her singles) that the author of this hateful poem is in fact gay himself. Now this obviously isn’t a poem by anyone who might be mistaken for Katharine Coles, as much as it’s graffiti I found scribbled in a bathroom stall on campus by a very sad and homophobic individual. What does the finding of such offensive graffiti reveal – aside from the fact that “candy asses” has finally found its way into prose? Yes, graff... More About: Campus , Hatred , Phobia , Not I
Take Me Out to the Bawl Game
2007-10-17 15:00:00 (This article was published in the October 17th, 2007 issue of the QSaltLake, Utah’s Gay & Lesbian News & Entertainment Magazine) I’ve been meaning to ask you, John Amaechi. I need to have a word with you, Judith Arndt. Could we sit down and talk, Andrew Goldstein? I know you’re screening your calls but I would appreciate it if you would call me back, J.P. Calderon. I understand you have a restraining order against me but I want to ask a favor of you, Ian Roberts. Could you all do me a favor and stop being so damn athletic? Thanks. Seriously, professional gay athletes – you’re making the rest of us look bad. It was difficult enough having to deal with the challenges we faced while we were young, with learning how to survive as a gay student in high school. Many of us hated P.E. and abhorred athletics, and thus found other outlets by which to channel our energy. We joined the theater. We became involved in student government. We developed an affinity for music. We pr... More About: Game , L Game
Our Society Promotes Waste
2007-10-04 15:00:00 (This article was published in the October 4th, 2007 issue of the The Daily Utah Chronicle) The following is a true story about a toilet. Any attempts to engage the reader using "crass potty humor" are intentional, but are not to be shared in mixed company. I used a public toilet a few days ago. I won't mention where this particular toilet is located to protect the privacy of the individual who occupied the toilet before me (in addition to not actually knowing the identity of the toilet-using individual). Needless to say, when I approached the aforementioned toilet, I found that it was, in fact, filled with enough toilet paper to choke a horse -- assuming a horse, for whatever odd reason, chose to eat a lot of toilet paper. Fortunately, there was a toilet plunger to the side of this toilet. Toilet was plunged, toilet paper (etc.) was flushed, and all was right in the world. It was at this point that I asked myself: Why do some people use so much toilet paper? Everyone's be... More About: Society , Waste , Romo , Mote
Our Society Promotes Waste
2007-10-04 15:00:00 (This article was published in the October 4th, 2007 issue of the The Daily Utah Chronicle) The following is a true story about a toilet. Any attempts to engage the reader using "crass potty humor" are intentional, but are not to be shared in mixed company. I used a public toilet a few days ago. I won't mention where this particular toilet is located to protect the privacy of the individual who occupied the toilet before me (in addition to not actually knowing the identity of the toilet-using individual). Needless to say, when I approached the aforementioned toilet, I found that it was, in fact, filled with enough toilet paper to choke a horse -- assuming a horse, for whatever odd reason, chose to eat a lot of toilet paper. Fortunately, there was a toilet plunger to the side of this toilet. Toilet was plunged, toilet paper (etc.) was flushed, and all was right in the world. It was at this point that I asked myself: Why do some people use so much toilet paper? Everyone's be... More About: Society , Waste , Romo , Mote
Did You Hear That...?
2007-10-01 15:00:00 (This article was published in the October 1st, 2007 issue of the QSaltLake, Utah’s Gay & Lesbian News & Entertainment Magazine) Dear Editor: I have it on good authority that the following people are gay. Actually gay. I’m talking shopping at Restoration Hardware, reading Men’s Health for more than just the articles, and understanding that the color ‘egg shell’ shouldn’t be worn after Labor Day. Oh, and having sex with men. As promised, here is the list of the definitely homosexuals: John Travolta. Tom Cruise. Ricky Martin. Anderson Cooper. Clay Aiken. And Harvey Fierstein (unconfirmed). One thing I failed to mention, Editor, is the simple fact that no one know these people are gay. For that reason, I would appreciate it if you didn’t publish this letter. Or at least not outside of the gay media – where such sensitive information will no doubt be contained. Thank you. Ryan Shattuck Have you heard that? Did you know who? You’re never going to believe ... More About: Hear
Did You Hear That...?
2007-10-01 15:00:00 (This article was published in the October 1st, 2007 issue of the QSaltLake, Utah’s Gay & Lesbian News & Entertainment Magazine) Dear Editor: I have it on good authority that the following people are gay. Actually gay. I’m talking shopping at Restoration Hardware, reading Men’s Health for more than just the articles, and understanding that the color ‘egg shell’ shouldn’t be worn after Labor Day. Oh, and having sex with men. As promised, here is the list of the definitely homosexuals: John Travolta. Tom Cruise. Ricky Martin. Anderson Cooper. Clay Aiken. And Harvey Fierstein (unconfirmed). One thing I failed to mention, Editor, is the simple fact that no one know these people are gay. For that reason, I would appreciate it if you didn’t publish this letter. Or at least not outside of the gay media – where such sensitive information will no doubt be contained. Thank you. Ryan Shattuck Have you heard that? Did you know who? You’re never going to believe ... More About: Hear
Hate: A Disease Worth Fighting
2007-09-27 17:00:00 (This article was published in the September 27th, 2007 issue of the The Daily Utah Chronicle) As British actor Michael Caine once said, "There are only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures, and the Dutch." To be fair, I don't know which I hate more: people who are intolerant of Michael Caine or the British. There are several people whom I strongly dislike. There are the people at my bank who aren't empathetic to the fact that just because I wrote out a check today, doesn't mean I need it to go through today. There's my landlord who wants his rent on -- stop me if this sounds ridiculous -- a timely basis. And then there are the people in the Financial Aid office who hold more power over my financial aid than God holds over, well, anything. These people make my life more difficult. These people do not have independent lives and goals and dreams -- their one aspiration is to make my life more difficult. I strongly dislike t... More About: Hate , Fighting , Disease , Worth , Wort
Hate: A Disease Worth Fighting
2007-09-27 17:00:00 (This article was published in the September 27th, 2007 issue of the The Daily Utah Chronicle) As British actor Michael Caine once said, "There are only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures, and the Dutch." To be fair, I don't know which I hate more: people who are intolerant of Michael Caine or the British. There are several people whom I strongly dislike. There are the people at my bank who aren't empathetic to the fact that just because I wrote out a check today, doesn't mean I need it to go through today. There's my landlord who wants his rent on -- stop me if this sounds ridiculous -- a timely basis. And then there are the people in the Financial Aid office who hold more power over my financial aid than God holds over, well, anything. These people make my life more difficult. These people do not have independent lives and goals and dreams -- their one aspiration is to make my life more difficult. I strongly dislike t... More About: Hate , Fighting , Disease , Worth , Wort
More to Fear Than Fear Itself
2007-09-20 08:28:00 (This article was published in the September 20th, 2007 issue of the The Daily Utah Chronicle) The only thing we have to fear is fear itself -- and online predators, and anthrax, and public speaking, and hippies, and air travel, and clowns. We live in a culture of fear. We're constantly warned that our toys have lead, our spinach has E. coli, and that our lesbian gangs have lesbians. We're told to worry about the decline of bees, the increase of carbon emissions and the influx of McEverything. If we don't fight the terrorists there, they'll follow us home. If a teenager masturbates, he or she will go blind. If people eat Chinese food, they'll also end up consuming MSG and/or cat. If somebody steps on a crack, his or her mother will injure either C1 or C2 along the cervical spine, thus resulting in back pain. If, if, if. Worry, worry, worry. You never call your mother anymore. While the mass media play their part in keeping the public paralyzed in fear, the current polit... More About: Fear
More to Fear Than Fear Itself
2007-09-20 08:28:00 (This article was published in the September 20th, 2007 issue of the The Daily Utah Chronicle) The only thing we have to fear is fear itself -- and online predators, and anthrax, and public speaking, and hippies, and air travel, and clowns. We live in a culture of fear. We're constantly warned that our toys have lead, our spinach has E. coli, and that our lesbian gangs have lesbians. We're told to worry about the decline of bees, the increase of carbon emissions and the influx of McEverything. If we don't fight the terrorists there, they'll follow us home. If a teenager masturbates, he or she will go blind. If people eat Chinese food, they'll also end up consuming MSG and/or cat. If somebody steps on a crack, his or her mother will injure either C1 or C2 along the cervical spine, thus resulting in back pain. If, if, if. Worry, worry, worry. You never call your mother anymore. While the mass media play their part in keeping the public paralyzed in fear, the current polit... More About: Fear
Don't Throw Out Your TV Yet
2007-09-13 15:00:00 (This article was published in the September 13th, 2007 issue of the The Daily Utah Chronicle) The following article is brought to you by CBS: "Pioneering the Anti-reality of Beautiful Women Marrying Unattractive Fat Men since 1998 (i.e. the year 'The King of Queens' aired)." Everyone's heard, at some point in his or her life, the more-pretentious-than-Frasier phrase "I don't own a television." This phrase always ends in "television" and not "TV;" a person too pretentious to own a television is most likely too pretentious to abbreviate. I bring this up because I recently heard a potential employer proudly declare in a job interview -- for a job I didn't want -- that he did not own a TV. Would I have wanted to be employed by an individual who not only ostentatiously informed others of his refusal to own a television, but was just slightly less morally superior than all 22 episodes of "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip?" I'm not blind to the fact that millions, if not hundr... More About: Throw
Don't Throw Out Your TV Yet
2007-09-13 15:00:00 (This article was published in the September 13th, 2007 issue of the The Daily Utah Chronicle) The following article is brought to you by CBS: "Pioneering the Anti-reality of Beautiful Women Marrying Unattractive Fat Men since 1998 (i.e. the year 'The King of Queens' aired)." Everyone's heard, at some point in his or her life, the more-pretentious-than-Frasier phrase "I don't own a television." This phrase always ends in "television" and not "TV;" a person too pretentious to own a television is most likely too pretentious to abbreviate. I bring this up because I recently heard a potential employer proudly declare in a job interview -- for a job I didn't want -- that he did not own a TV. Would I have wanted to be employed by an individual who not only ostentatiously informed others of his refusal to own a television, but was just slightly less morally superior than all 22 episodes of "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip?" I'm not blind to the fact that millions, if not hundr... More About: Throw
Free Speech Protects Your Enemies Too
2007-08-31 15:00:00 (This article was published in the August 31st, 2007 issue of the The Daily Utah Chronicle) In his 1988 book Manufacturing Consent: The Political Economy of the Mass Media, Noam Chomsky boldly states: "Goebbels was in favor of free speech for views he liked. So was Stalin. If you're in favor of free speech, then you're in favor of freedom of speech precisely for views you despise. Otherwise, you're not in favor of free speech." To be fair, Chomsky is a libertarian socialist; therefore, everything he says about freedom of speech is probably wrong. Supporting freedom of speech for views that one despises? Radical! Liberal! Un-American! The only people who deserve the inalienable right to freedom of speech are those with whom I agree! Oh, and Nancy Grace. Free dom of speech is a curious thing. It forbids you from yelling "Fire!" in a crowded movie theatre but allows you to yell "I'm tired of watching Oscar nominated actors in fat suits!" if that movie happens to be "Norbit."... More About: Enemies , Free Speech , Speech
Free Speech Protects Your Enemies Too
2007-08-31 15:00:00 (This article was published in the August 31st, 2007 issue of the The Daily Utah Chronicle) In his 1988 book Manufacturing Consent: The Political Economy of the Mass Media, Noam Chomsky boldly states: "Goebbels was in favor of free speech for views he liked. So was Stalin. If you're in favor of free speech, then you're in favor of freedom of speech precisely for views you despise. Otherwise, you're not in favor of free speech." To be fair, Chomsky is a libertarian socialist; therefore, everything he says about freedom of speech is probably wrong. Supporting freedom of speech for views that one despises? Radical! Liberal! Un-American! The only people who deserve the inalienable right to freedom of speech are those with whom I agree! Oh, and Nancy Grace. Free dom of speech is a curious thing. It forbids you from yelling "Fire!" in a crowded movie theatre but allows you to yell "I'm tired of watching Oscar nominated actors in fat suits!" if that movie happens to be "Norbit."... More About: Enemies , Free Speech , Speech
August 12th - Whats New(s) with Bullshattuck
2007-08-12 15:00:00 RETIRED Merv Griffin, the mastermind behind the game shows 'Jeopardy' and 'Wheel of Fortune' died today at the age of 82. Griffin, who passed away from prostate cancer, had a long illustrious career ranging from radio singer and television producer to real estate developer and talk show host. His most popular game shows, 'Jeopardy' and 'Wheel of Fortune,' have each been on the air for more than two decades and have since become a staple of television pop culture. Millions of retirees the world over have come to depend on tuning in to 'Wheel of Fortune' at 7:00, followed by 'Jeopardy' at 7:30, weekdays. In honor of Griffin's lifelong dedication to television, it was recently announced by the White House that the time currently known as "seven o' clock" will officially be renamed "Merv Griffin o' clock," weekdays. -bullshattuck More About: August
August 12th - Whats New(s) with Bullshattuck
2007-08-12 15:00:00 RETIRED Merv Griffin, the mastermind behind the game shows 'Jeopardy' and 'Wheel of Fortune' died today at the age of 82. Griffin, who passed away from prostate cancer, had a long illustrious career ranging from radio singer and television producer to real estate developer and talk show host. His most popular game shows, 'Jeopardy' and 'Wheel of Fortune,' have each been on the air for more than two decades and have since become a staple of television pop culture. Millions of retirees the world over have come to depend on tuning in to 'Wheel of Fortune' at 7:00, followed by 'Jeopardy' at 7:30, weekdays. In honor of Griffin's lifelong dedication to television, it was recently announced by the White House that the time currently known as "seven o' clock" will officially be renamed "Merv Griffin o' clock," weekdays. -bullshattuck More About: August
Utah Exports Its Fakeness to Bullshattuck
2007-08-07 15:00:00 TAKE HEART, UTAH! You plucky Beehive State, you! As you are well aware, Utah leads the nation when it comes to exporting fakeness. Utah famously and proudly exports: Fake political candidates! Fake happiness! Fake family values! Yes, we export fakeness, but you'll be excited to know that Utah now imports fakeness! Starting with: Yes, it's true. It's recently been reported that none other than Lindsay Lohan is attending rehab in none other than Provo, Utah. If we're lucky, at this rate we'll soon have a fakeness trade deficit with Hollywood! More About: Exports , Ports
Utah Exports Its Fakeness to Bullshattuck
More articles from this author:2007-08-07 15:00:00 TAKE HEART, UTAH! You plucky Beehive State, you! As you are well aware, Utah leads the nation when it comes to exporting fakeness. Utah famously and proudly exports: Fake political candidates! Fake happiness! Fake family values! Yes, we export fakeness, but you'll be excited to know that Utah now imports fakeness! Starting with: Yes, it's true. It's recently been reported that none other than Lindsay Lohan is attending rehab in none other than Provo, Utah. If we're lucky, at this rate we'll soon have a fakeness trade deficit with Hollywood! More About: Exports , Ports 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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