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Venice Surf Report 03/17/08 No More Finance Shit
2008-03-17 16:16:00
Way too dark for pictures this morning when I was there but it looked like it might have some potential. Winds were strongly side/off shore but from what I could tell at least it wasn't completely blown out as it has been the last few days. Check the cams this morning, tide is dropping so if there is a window in Venice it will be early. Not surpisingly nobody out in the pitch black and lots of parking available.Okay, to get all of our minds off these crazy markets let's look at some things non-financial related.First off, Fred has been a constant presence in my backyward the last few days. And I think I may have even spoiled the little guy. As you know, Fred shows up outside my screen door and waits patiently to see if I have seen him. If I don't, he climbs my screen door and makes sure I see him. Yesterday morning I noticed him right away.Hello? Is it lunchtime?He then takes the piece of bread I give him right from my hand when I crack the screen door and skampers over to the fe...
More About: Finance , Surf , Report , Shit

Why It Is Healthy For Bad Shit To Bail
2008-03-17 05:59:00
Home buyers are unlikely to put down offers on houses that they think will lose value -- no matter how much the Fed does to lower mortgage costs. Banks with mounting loan losses will shy away from lending to borrowers they think might go bust -- no matter how much money the Fed pumps into the financial system. And investors will remain jittery -- even after the Fed throws a lifeline to struggling financial institutions, as it did last week with Bear Stearns Cos. That simple...really, it is.Then we have this....This week, as the financial sector began to give way under the unbearable weight of bad mortgage debt, the Federal Reserve stepped in to save the day. At least that?s what it says in the script. In a surprise move, the Federal Reserve announced its intention to swap $200 billion of treasury debt for $200 billion of potentially worthless mortgage-backed securities. The Fed may have been partially spurred to take the step as a result of the rapid collapse of Carlyle Capital Co...
More About: Shit , Healthy

Holy Fucking Shit !!!!!
2008-03-17 00:58:00
I cannot believe it. Or maybe I can - I can't even decide right now.It has just hit the wires that JP Morgan wil acquire Bear Stearns for......$2 a share!!!!!Even in my mind, a confirmed doomsayer, I had no idea that it could go this wrong this fast. This is really, really unbelievable.To put it in perspective - Bears Stearns (Ticker:BSC) was trading at $94.00 a share back on February 23rd. That gave it a market cap (number of shares times share price) of 12.3 Billion dollars U.S. Hell, forget February - it traded at $70 LAST MONDAY!!!!!JP Morgan just bought them out for $236 Million, or 2% of what it was worth not even 3 weeks ago. Fucking Hasbro, the maker of Chutes and Ladders and Candyland, has a market cap of almost 4B; are we really saying that securitizing U.S. Mortgages is not worth the maker of board games?Here's the chart for Bear Stearns - take it to zero to see what it looks like tomorrow.I don't even have words for this. Bear Stearns wrote the most mortgage debt on t...
More About: Shit , Holy

We _ate our Coffee
2008-03-14 15:52:00
Friday, March 14, 2008, 7:35 a.m.Disorganized, closed-out junk. And with the tide on the way down to zippo at 11:00 a.m., it ain't gonna get any better either. Head-high on the sets, and although there are very infrequent surfable corners, it's just too fuckng ugly. Overcast but not cold. Looking for the positive side, the water temp. is almost back up to 60 degrees. When the Vhigh surf team leaves, there will be about 6 at the pier and 12 at the breakwater. None of them are doing too well. It isn't worth the trouble.********************************* ****Years ago We, Uncle Grant, worked near the Museum of Contemporary (worthless fucking) Art downtown. On Tuesdays they let The People in free and We would occasionally spend Our lunch break being amused at what sometimes passes for art. But that's another story. Today's story is about a coffee cup We bought there, and the minor dust-up it caused at Our office. MOCA has a store and sometimes it has interesting stuff (yea...
More About: Coffee

Front Row Seats for the Toboggan Race
2008-03-13 19:44:00
You already know where this is going.....
More About: Race , Front , Totally Awesome , Front Row

This Pussy at 8K a Pop or Being Governor of N.Y.?
2008-03-13 16:38:00
Here she is, the chick that Spitzer paid 8 grand a pop to hollow out and will wind up costing him his job, his law license, his wife, his kids and his reputation. Was it worth it? You make the call.Oh, and if you care, here's the little whores' MySpace Page.UPDATE: Guess that page was getting a little bit too much traffic, they took it down.
More About: Governor , Whores , Pussy

Venice Surf Report 03/13/08 Coolest Thing Ever
2008-03-13 15:26:00
Not bad, not bad at all....Given that we are supposed to have strong on-shore winds for the next 4-5 days I say get on it. Swell is a steady chest to head high, a little bit walled on the lowish tide (but at least very little reflection off the post sand dune beach break wall), but there are some corners to be had. Definitely racy so bring the shorty/fish, and again, even though it may not be perfect it looks like the best we will have for some time.2-3 getting in, overcast, cool and clammy, lots of parking, no Dummy lurking under the lifeguard shack.So yesterday I am walking through Costco, my favorite store, on my way to the pharmacy to get some medicine or other for my concussion, when I look over and see the single most amazing product ever created. I stop, my jaw drops and I stare in wonder. Look what it is.Yep - Costco, somewhow, has come up with a card that if you buy it makes you immune from blacking out for one full year, no matter how much you drink. That's "12 Full Month...
More About: Surf , Venice , Report , Thing

Breaking the Buck!
2008-03-13 14:04:00
Ouch!Well, get ready for a real bloodbath today; retail sales ( 70% of the U.S. economy) were DOWN .6% when they were supposed to rise .2% and the dollar (remember the dollar, our currency?) went below 100 Yen for the first time since 1995.Dow down 400+. Buy SDS, the S+P 500 2X short, do it NOW before the market opens!And just wait til the Fed cuts next week.BUY SDS BUY SDS BUY SDS BUY SDS!!!!!!!
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Venice Surf Report 03/12/08 Spitzer Shoots Self Stupidly
2008-03-12 18:19:00
Venice Surf Report March 12 2008 Surfing Conditions Venice CAWow, looks really, really good, and with the potential to get better as the tide fills in a bit more.Already some really sweet, head-high, hollow sections out there with a decent mix of big closeouts, but there is really going to be something happening later on as the tide fills in provided the wind stays off it. The day has that sort of overcast, calm winds all day type of feel to it, so anything on either side of it (but probably better on the rise) should be good. I just checked and it is already on shore and looks a little bumpy. Bummer. Should bear watching though.Caught this guy getting a pretty sweet barrel.Only a couple out, light offshores (though onshore ever so slightly now), still some parking and The Dummy leaving as I was pulling up. What an asshole.....So, is anyone else enjoying the shit out of watching Elliot Spitzer implode? There are few things I enjoy more in life than watching sanctimonious, judgementa...
More About: Venice , Shoots

Boring But Important Financial Post
2008-03-11 23:01:00
Okay, so today's Fed action really sparked the stock market. And you know what? Who fucking cares. 400 Points doesn't change the trend line for the overall markets, and I would be willing to bet that tomorrow we will have a sell off of massive proportions. But here is something you really should know about the Fed's decision to take private label AAA securities as collateral for loans from you and me. First let's start by looking at a private label, AAA security. Here is the Bloomberg DES for a bond written using home equity loans as collateral. Take a look.....CLICK PIC TO ENLARGEPretty detailed and confusing, I know, but look at the top right corner. See where they have the little box labeled "RATINGS" that has "MDY" and "S&P" in it? What's next to it? That's right, the rating, which in this case is Aaa/AAA, or, to put it another way, if you were to look at just the rating then this particular security is rated as safe as U.S. Treasuries by both Moody's and S&P. So, essenti...
More About: Financial , Post , Boring

Funniest Clip Ever
2008-03-11 18:09:00
There is a saying that most of us are familiar with that goes along the lines that truth is stranger than fiction. And for the most part, I think we all know that it is true. That being said, this has GOT to be real. God, I really hope it is; after all, I've been thinking of "jazzing up the website" and frankly, I can't think of a better way to do that then with Fred and Sharon's help. I am dialing now.......
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Venice Surf Report 03/11/08 Fed Fucks Finances Further
2008-03-11 16:20:00
Venice Surf Report Surfing Venice CA Surf ConditionsNot looking too good....Low tide, single swell, waist-high closeouts. Really not much more to say than that.Feeling a little bit better today except for one strange occurrence on the way to work. I drive the same route EVERY DAY, and have been doing so for about 2 years now. Yet for some reason I got off some freaking exit in downtown this morning that I have never taken before and proceeded to get lost as a motherfucker. Weird. I thought I was getting off the right exit, and yet I come to the stop light at the end of the ramp and I have no idea where he hell I am. Hope this passes soon....Saw this woman having a little siesta at the Pier this morning. Why, when there are at least 500 spots that have to be more comfortable and more private you would choose here to sleep I can't guess, but she sure was sawing logs.So, you may have noticed the stock market off to a roaring start this morning, and you're probably wondering why.Simpl...
More About: Finances , Venice

I Can't Figure it Out Either
2008-03-10 23:08:00
I am sure there is some point to what this guy does, but for the life of me I can't even begin to guess what it might be.Although I do know how he feels, at least pysically....ugh
More About: Figure

Venice Surf Report 03/10/08 Weekend Recap
2008-03-10 20:42:00
Well, it was kind of a weird weekend. It all started pretty well as I picked up a new board last week and took it out for the first time on Saturday morning. It is an 8 ft Superfish from 7S, and while the waves were very questionable on Saturday morning it was very cool to have something new to ride. It is very, very tough at this point as it is WAY smaller than my 9'8" Guy O, but just like when I started surfing it is going to be good to have a new challenge as my surfing career progresses. After surfing Saturday morning I drove down to San Diego to go spend the day with my wife, who was there for a conference. She had gotten a very pimp room at the Holiday Inn on the Bay and we had a fantastic balcony with an absolutely awesome view of the waterfront. It was an absolutely gorgeous day, and we spent it just chilling. At about 3 pm, after one of the cruise ships docked across the street set sail, I noticed an aircraft carrier berthed down the street. A quick Internet search tells m...
More About: Surf , Venice , Report , Weekend , Recap

Battleboro in Mexico
2008-03-07 16:35:00
WE GIVE UP; WE'VE BEEN TRYING FOR A HALF HOUR TO POST PRETTY BITCHEN PICS OF CRAIG FERRE FROM THIS MORNING AT THE PIER BUT, FOR SOME REASON, FRIGGING THE FUCKING E-BLOGGER PROGRAM WON'T LET US. HERE'S THE TEXT:March 7, 2008, 7:455.6 ft. at 8:30 a.m. tells the tale this morning. Amongst picture perfect but cold-ish conditions, we've got shoulder-high, semi-frequent sets that are swallowed whole by the winter bottom and high tide. Plenty of folks making the best of it though, with a good couple dozen sprinkled around the pier; less at the breakwater. Plenty of shoulders too, but you gotta be patient and carry a big stick (my friend Brooks: "I got your big stick - right here!") All-in-all, considering that in a couple/few months a day like today would be described as epic, We recommend it. We are going to wait on the tide and, after taking three ibupofens for our achy knee and back, We are going to try the knee by paddling out for the first time in weeks. If you seen an old...
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Venice Surf Report 03/06/08 An Old Face Resurfaces
2008-03-06 17:47:00
Venice Surf Report Surfing Venice CA Surf Conditions Venice CANot bad, not bad at all...Looks like a l ot of fun out there this morning. Swell is in the waist to chest high range, with the occasional odd sneaker set that cleans everyone up, and the high tide is keeping everything from walling up and closing out. It should get racier and faster as the tide drops throughout the morning, the real wildcard is, as always, the wind. Get on it bfore the wind does.5-6 out south, 1 out north, street parking about gone, no assholes to be seen, light ofshores, brilliant sunshine and another day that reminds us of why we put up with all the other shit that comes with living in SoCal on tap.So, I'm walking off the pier this morning and who do I see hanging out but our old friend Dave!He looked to be in very good condition and in great spirits."Dave! What's happening?" I asked. "Long time no see"."Yeah, Matt, it has been a while." "You look good, what have you been up to?""I'm living down in W...
More About: Venice , Face

You Only Get One Chance to Make 1st Impression
2008-03-06 00:38:00
Watch what happens as this guy, who obviously likes his new puppy very much, introduces his newest family member to Mom and Dad via videotape. They may just pet, instead of hold, him when he comes to visit; what do you think?
More About: Chance , Make , Pugs , Impression

Venice Surf Report 03/05/08 - Now with Pictures!
2008-03-05 17:44:00
Venice Surf Report Surfing Venice CA Surfing Surf SurfingSorry no pics today - major PC problems at work so I am typing this on the Bloomberg terminal. OK, here are the pics now......Pick up in size on the swell to head high and it looks peaky and fun. There are still some walled up, cornerless closeouts but if you can position yourself at the end of one of these there are some long, fast, fun runs down the line available. Crowd factor is minimal with 4-5 out south and a handful more getting in. No need to crowd the pier as the whole south side has spots working; if you are willing to walk a couple hundred yards you could easily find a little A-frame all to yourself. OK, gotta run as others in my office seem to feel that the Bloomberg terminal should be used for work purposes (some people are just SO uptight) but when (if) I get my PC back today I will post the pics from this am, some of which came out pretty damn good.OK, so, the latest insanity concerning the government's plans t...
More About: Pictures , Venice

Good Hand Eye Coordination
2008-03-04 20:46:00
I have one word for the following video: Holy Fucking Shit!
More About: Good , Hand

Venice Surf Report 03/04/08 Some Site News
2008-03-04 16:27:00
Vencie Surf Report Surfing Venice CA Surf Conditions Venice PierSwampy, mushy and weak.Big high tide this morning and it is doing nothing to help the swell that is somewhere in the waist high range, although it's hard to tell as most everything is breaking right up against the big berms/dunes that have been created on either side of the pier.Gonna have to wait for the tide on this one. Simply no point in floating around 15 ft. from shore hoping for that one or two that may throw a shoulder your way. Great conditions with bright sunshine, light offhsores, lots of parking - all you need is to wait on the tide, say around 10 am or so. OK, so, as you may or may not know, we are right at the one year anniversary of Venice Surf Report. Thank you, thank you - please, no applause, tasteful gifts and cash only if you don't mind - but the reason I bring this up is that this means that on a daily basis I have, almost without exception, been getting my ass out of bed at the ass crack of dawn ...
More About: News , Site News , Site

Vnice Surf Report 03/03/08 You Smell That?
2008-03-03 14:59:00
I stopped by the pier on the way back home from making a 4am run to the airport amd as you can see taking pictures in the dark pretty much sucks.There's some swell out there in the waist to chest high range, but the high tide is drowning things out for the most part; there were one or two breaking outside but it sure seems as though waiting for the tide to drop a bit mighht be the plan. Shouldn't have to worry about winds as it is, and is supposed to remain, blowing straight offshore. It was 5 am so not much of a crowd of any sort out there, but it should be good later before the tide drops too much.OK, why have I never seen this Bud Light ad? Huh?
More About: Surf , Report , Smell

The REAL Hillary
2008-02-29 17:55:00
Once again, despite her best efforts, Hillary Clinton's true colors have come out and she has decided that the rules, when they do not fall in her own personal favor, are unfair and should be changed until they do.Reports have it that the carpet-bagging Senator from N.Y. is preparing to sue the Texas Democratic Party over the current Caucus / Primary rules should she not win this Tuesday's election. Hillary Rodham Clinton's campaign has raised the possibility of a challenge to Texas' primary and caucus rules just days before the contest, drawing a warning against legal action from the state's Democratic Party. You want more irony? The Texas rules were written by many of her current Senior Advisors, and these same rules helped propel her husband, Bill, to the nomination in '92 and '96. The letter also noted that many of Clinton's senior campaign advisers in Texas had helped to develop the rules governing the state's caucus system. A Texas party official also noted that forme...
More About: Real

Venice Surf Report 02/29/08 Happy Leap Year!
2008-02-29 16:16:00
Bigger - much bigger.Definitely a pick up in size to chest high to a couple of feet overhead on the biggest sets, but the real trick is to find one of these bigger set waves that doesn't just turn into a 3 block long closeout. It can be done, but it will take a lot of effort and a little luck.Conditions aren't too bad either. The higher tide is helping the shape by slowing it down a little bit, and the offhsore winds will help you make the drop and try to get in front of the wave. As long as you don't mind the overcast (is it June Gloom time already?) you should be fine.Three out south side of the pier, nobody out north, 3-4 more getting in and a handful scoping, still some street parking, light offshores, overcast and chilly. Well, today is February 29th, the oddest day of the year. we only see it once every four years as a way to even out our imperfect Gregorian calendar, and for those born on a leap year today is their first birthday since 2004.I suppose there is some witty ob...
More About: Surf , Venice , Report , Happy , Year

They Say She's Tops in Her Field
2008-02-28 20:31:00
I don't know exactly what part of the body this workout is supposed to target; maybe the muscle group responsible for laughing?Best Workout Ever - Watch more free videosOr maybe it's supposed to help you in taking a dump.....either way, I'd say it has a ways to go before it overtakes step aerobics.
More About: Tops , Field

Venice Surf Report 02/28/08 How Embarrassing
2008-02-28 16:12:00
Venice Surf Report Surfing CA Venice CA Surf ConditionsEhhh....A very big and indifferent shrug of the shoulders this morning. Very disorganized and junky looking with the few actual waist high waves that came in looking very, very weak. I honestly can't think of a good reason to go, unless you just want to get wet and maybe stretch those paddle muscles. 2-3 out south, one out north, light offshores, another beautiful day on tap.Well, 'ol George W . is on the tube right now stumbling through another press conference. How I ever voted for this guy I really don't know, but I do know that he is an embarrassment to me and you and every other American. He is so full of shit and so full of himself - ugh, it just makes me sick.And please - can somebody please, please, please tell him that it is "nuke-LEE-ur", not "nuke-YA-lur", ya fuckin' Dipshit.So, in his honor, here is one more George W. joke.A couple of years back, a Midland, Texas guy was sound asleep on a rainy night when he was a...
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Rumors of Her Death Are Greatly Exaggerated
2008-02-27 19:46:00
Even though there are newspaper articles galore proclaiming Obama's momentum and increasing popularity, I do not for a second believe that Hillary is out of this thing. The Clinton s are famous for their stamina and drive when it comes to increasing their personal power and anyone who thinks this thing is over, well, think again.Personally I will not believe Hillary is dead until I see her out of her coffin at noon on a sunny day with a wooden stake through her heart. And even then I would feel better if we could burn the body as well. Short of that this is for you, you fake smiling bitch. Who the hell told her looking like someone just shoved a hot poker up your ass was Presidential?
More About: Rumors , Death

Venice Surf Report 02/27/08 I Would Too
2008-02-27 16:14:00
Venice Surf Report Surfing Venice CA Surf CA Surfing Venice CASmaller and a little less consistent.Well, you knew it had to end eventually. The amazing run of swell we have had the last couple of weeks has finally slowed down, leaving us with an inconsistent, chest high, windswell that is offering up some fun rides if you can position yourself on the end. Definitely slow and mushy after the first quick section, but given the beautiful conditions, the first surf window without runoff and warming temps, well, if you can go and haven't worn yourself out the last few weeks it looks like fun.5-6 out South, one out north, light / variable winds, plenty of parking left and going to be a gorgeous day. So, I get to my office today and there is a headline on Yahoo as follows:Bobby Brown Agrees to Community Service for CocaineSo I'm thinking - I wonder how much cocaine he gets? And is it really crappy community service like picking up trash on the side of the road or does he get to do someth...
More About: Venice

North Korea's Doing Just Fine
2008-02-26 20:23:00
We all knew that North Korea was a little bit iffy, but this latest story shows that Kim Jong Il has finally turned the corner and is making things better for the poor bastards that make up the population of this most bizarre and oppresive of countries. In this case Kim Jong Il, Grand Poo Bah of North Korea, has decided to provide completely unique and totally free sports entertainment for his huddled masses.Via the Daily Mail of London A North Korean factory boss accused of making international phone calls was executed by a firing squad in front of 150,000 people, it emerged today. The manager was gunned down in a sports stadium in South Pyongan province after authorities claimed he'd installed 13 (phone lines) in a basement to reach the outside worldAfter the execution the North Korean crowd, already well known for its rowdy and fun-loving nature, showed its respect for human life by stampeding on its way out the door, killing 6 more.Six people were also crushed to death and 34 ...
More About: Compassion , Fine

Venice Surf Report 02/26/08 Tommy in Trouble
2008-02-26 17:01:00
Venice Surf Report The Boyos Surfing Venice CAWow, looks freaking awesome as evidence by this sweet barrel I saw someone catch right as I got down there.Swell has backed off and taken on more of a windswell vs. a groundswell shape, and it is nothing but good out there this morning. Size is in the chest to head high + range, shape is absolutely perfect with the two peaks south of the pier cranking out machanical rights and lefts and offshore winds holding the faces up but not putting texture on the surafce.The only real bummer is that we are still well inside the 72 hr rule, so be aware that the potential for gnarliness still exists. 3-4 out south, a handful scoping/getting in, light offshores, clear and cold.Saw Leprechaun in his usual spot as I was walking off the pier. He was hanging out with the chick that I last saw at the HobOlympics back in June of '07, and she said hello and asked how I was. I said fine, and as I was walking to my car Leprechaun suggested I go get a picture ...
More About: Venice , Tommy

HAHAHAHAHAHA
2008-02-26 00:40:00
Cheney gets a call from his "boss", W."I've got a problem," says W."What's the matter?" asks Cheney."Well, you told me to keep busy in the Oval Office so I got a jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges.""What's it a picture of?" asks Cheney."A big rooster," replies W."All right," sighs Cheney, "I'll come over and have a look."So he leaves his office and heads over to the Oval Office. W points at the jigsaw on his desk.Cheney looks at the desk and then turns to W and says, "For crying out loud, George - put the corn flakes back in the box."