Hash It Out! Hash It Out! Read the irreverent musings of a godless lunatic! Articles
Ever lick it like this?
2008-01-10 23:38:00 This is my friend. He shall remain unnamed. He sent me this pic. At first I was kinda like, hey cool. He was totally willing to send me a pic of him doing some licking. A thing guys (some guys, any good guys) like to do. I looked at the picture and thought red head. Cool. ... SHARETHIS.addEntry( { title: "Ever lick it like this?", url: "http://hashitout.com/?p=43" } ); More About: Dating
Ever lick it like this?
2008-01-10 23:38:00 This is my friend. He shall remain unnamed. He sent me this pic. At first I was kinda like, hey cool. He was totally willing to send me a pic of him doing some licking. A thing guys (some guys, any good guys) like to do. I looked at the picture and thought blonde. Cool.  Oh, but she’s holding a pack of smokes. She’s prob’ly one of those girls who started smoking when she was 13 which lead to a life of promiscuity. Way cool! Wait, is that a pack of smokes? WAIT! That’s a god damn doll. My friend sent me a pic of him licking the crotch of a Barbie doll. See you think I’m trying to be funny, but no, that’s how long it took me to process that this wasn’t a real girl. I was so excited to receive a pic of ANYONE licking pussy, that it didn’t strike me… My friend likes DOLLS! And not the big life sized ones either. Doll liker! (Liker, not licker, I know what I’m saying, well he’s a licker...
13 years doing stand-up comedy and this never happened.
2008-01-10 02:12:00 I was doing shows in Spokane, WA. For those that aren’t familiar, it’s the biggest city between Seattle and Minneapolis. Population about half a million. It’s on the Idaho boarder, get a map. It’s also my hometown. Anyway… After this particular show where I had been dealing with an audience full of married and/or engaged and/or other manner of disgusting couplings (the only ones I like is people committed to each other without state paperwork, or casual daters) I went to work the crowd after the show. I work the crowd during my act, but I always try to hand shake and kiss babies after the show to politic my future good will and thank people for being good sports. So I’m talking to these two girls and one I didn’t remember from the show. This particular night was a light audience, maybe 30 people or so at the club and I thought I’d made it through everyone during my act. She hid from me. This girl was so pretty she l... More About: Comedy , Years , Stand up comedy , Stand Up , Stand
13 years doing stand-up comedy and this never happened.
2008-01-10 02:12:00 I was doing shows in Spokane, WA. For those that aren’t familiar, it’s the biggest city between Seattle and Minneapolis. Population about half a million. It’s on the Idaho boarder, get a map. It’s also my hometown. Anyway… After this particular show where I had been dealing with an audience full of married and/or engaged and/or other ... SHARETHIS.addEntry( { title: "13 years doing stand-up comedy and this never happened.", url: "http://hashitout.com/?p=42" } ); More About: Comedy , Years , Stand up comedy , Stand Up , Stand
Hilary Clinton? I don’t care, but…
2008-01-09 22:34:00 If Hilary wins, it will be kinda cool, because you’ll hear Bill say, “I’m back.” I don’t follow politics too closely, as in my selfish, narcissistic, evil, lonely, empty existence, I only care what affects me. The last person I voted for was Perot, but it was only because he had charts with graphs and Dana Carvey is funny. I would actually vote for Huckabee if I knew Chuck Norris would be his running mate. Other countries would just lay down all forms of weaponry and aggression. ‘Vice President Chuck Norris? WE QUIT!’ But if Clinton (s) win, it’ll be sad to get back to possibly 8 more years of the whole peace and prosperity scare. Nobody wants that. Now I’m not necessarily Republican or Democrat, Liberal or Conservative, I’m just American.  A U.S. American, such as. A veteran (of three years during peace time golf course duty) as a matter of fact. So I do care that we’re not taken over by the enemy. ... More About: Hilary Clinton , Care
Hilary Clinton? I don?t care, but?
2008-01-09 22:34:00 If Hilary wins, it will be kinda cool, because you’ll hear Bill say, “I’m back.” I don’t follow politics too closely, as in my selfish, narcissistic, evil, lonely, empty existence, I only care what affects me. The last person I voted for was Perot, but it was only because he had charts with graphs and Dana Carvey ... SHARETHIS.addEntry( { title: "Hilary Clinton ? I don’t care, but…", url: "http://hashitout.com/?p=41" } ); More About: Care , Linton
Can you believe I had sex with this girl?
2008-01-08 03:35:00 Well, I didn’t. SHARETHIS.addEntry( { title: "Can you believe I had sex with this girl?", url: "http://hashitout.com/?p=40" } ); More About: Relationships , Dating , Girl
Can you believe I had sex with this girl?
2008-01-08 03:35:00 Well, I didn’t. ShareThis More About: Girl
You gotta appreciate this Christina Model.
2008-01-07 22:50:00 This is righteous! I’m not one to generally like these type of videos, but this is so great. This campy presentation serves ONLY to allow this girl to dance badly and bounce her boobies. It’s hilarious. I’m a BUH-ji-nuh man myself. I like the crotch. But I can totally appreciate these tossing titties. It makes me ... SHARETHIS.addEntry( { title: "You gotta appreciate this Christina Model .", url: "http://hashitout.com/?p=39" } ); More About: Gotta
You gotta appreciate this Christina Model.
2008-01-07 22:50:00 This is righteous! I’m not one to generally like these type of videos, but this is so great. This campy presentation serves ONLY to allow this girl to dance badly and bounce her boobies. It’s hilarious. I’m a BUH-ji-nuh man myself.  I like the crotch. But I can totally appreciate these tossing titties. It makes me laugh. She’s a bad dancer. Wait. She actually can’t dance at all. But that what makes it so great! Don’t you agree? ShareThis More About: Model , Christina , Gotta
I know someone who was killed in a home invasion. Let?s all get guns.
2008-01-07 10:56:00 Well, it’s the cousin of a friend of a friend, but still. This is fucked up. On New Years Day 2008, at 2:45 am, this guy and his wife and another couple come home after partying and when they go in the house there’s a knock at the door. These two dark skinned black guys ... SHARETHIS.addEntry( { title: "I know someone who was killed in a home invasion. Let’s all get guns.", url: "http://hashitout.com/?p=38" } ); More About: Guns , Home , Invasion , Killed
I know someone who was killed in a home invasion. Let’s all get guns.
2008-01-07 10:56:00 Well, it’s the cousin of a friend of a friend, but still. This is fucked up. On New Years Day 2008, at 2:45 am, this guy and his wife and another couple come home after partying and when they go in the house there’s a knock at the door. These two dark skinned black guys (that’s how the police report described them) in their 20s forced their way in each with a rifle. They took the wife upstairs to make her show them the valuables and the husband starts to struggle with one of the robbers, gets shot and later dies in the hospital. FUCKED UP! I mean it’s your wife. You hear her gettin’ slapped around or whatever, PLUS you’ve had a little booze. You’re not just gonna sit there. You’re gonna do something about it. Anyone (WITH ANY BALLS) would. Unfortunately, because there is no god, things didn’t go the way of good in the whole good vs. evil deal. This guy gets shot a couple times and his poor wife has to call 9... More About: Guns , Home , Invasion , Killed
I always bleed on the left.
2008-01-07 08:50:00 Whenever I get a nose bleed, it’s always the left nostril. What’s up with that? I’ve never really paid too much attention, but I guess after a few hundred of them in my life, I started to pick up on they’re always on the left. Is it because I’m right handed? Do left handers (you know, devil worshipers) get them on the right? Is it because I’m right brained? Left brained? Hell, I can’t even remember which is which. I’m the creative type, but I also like Excel spreadsheets. So I don’t know. Nose bleeds are kinda fun. When they happen spontaneously it always seems humorous to me. Don’t know why. Blood runs thinner and quicker than snot, so I always know ‘uh oh, here we go’ — there’s no mistaking it. Still, when I put the top of my forefinger between the 2nd and 3rd knuckle up there to stop the flow while I secure some type of tissue or carpeting, it makes me laugh. I’ve n... More About: Bleed
I always bleed on the left.
2008-01-07 08:50:00 Whenever I get a nose bleed, it’s always the left nostril. What’s up with that? I’ve never really paid too much attention, but I guess after a few hundred of them in my life, I started to pick up on they’re always on the left. Is it because I’m right handed? Do left handers (you ... SHARETHIS.addEntry( { title: "I always bleed on the left.", url: "http://hashitout.com/?p=37" } ); More About: Left , Bleed
Reese Witherspoon has a man’s chin.
2008-01-05 23:32:00 I mean c’mon. She’s supposed to be at the top of the “most liked” list? Reese Witherspoon ? Has everyone gone crazy? I’d rather look at Leno’s chin than hers.  I mean just look at it. Her long chin almost touches the top of her shoes. Her movies aren’t even that good and I’m an EASY audience. I liked “Election”, but mainly I find her wildy unentertaining and tough to look at. I mean I guess she has a pretty body, but because of America’s screwed up standards, so do most actors. But that face. Oh god! I used to feel sorry for Ryan Phillipe, but now since their divorce (big fan of divorce by the way), I think he’ll be fine. Can you imagine the love child of this Reese Witherspoon and a Jay Leno? Hilarous! This kid would be knocking glasses off the table on day one. “Look over here Baby Lenospoon.” Crash! Now who’s gonna clean that up?  Still. I’d fuck &lsqu...
Reese Witherspoon has a man?s chin.
2008-01-05 23:32:00 I mean c’mon. She’s supposed to be at the top of the “most liked” list? Reese Witherspoon ? Has everyone gone crazy? I’d rather look at Leno’s chin than hers. I mean just look at it. Her long chin almost touches the top of her shoes. Her movies aren’t even that good and I’m an EASY audience. ... SHARETHIS.addEntry( { title: "Reese Witherspoon has a man’s chin.", url: "http://hashitout.com/?p=35" } );
What is with these beauty contestants?
2008-01-04 09:50:00 Kumari Fulbright is shown in this undated photo provided by the Tucson Police Department in Tucson, Ariz. Fulbright, 25, was indicted with three men Dec. 18, 2007, by a Pima County Superior Court grand jury on charges of kidnapping, armed robbery, aggravated robbery and two counts of assault with a deadly weapon, the Arizona Daily ... SHARETHIS.addEntry( { title: "What is with these beauty contestants?", url: "http://hashitout.com/?p=34" } ); More About: Beauty
What is with these beauty contestants?
2008-01-04 09:50:00 Kumari Fulbright is shown in this undated photo provided by the Tucson Police Department in Tucson, Ariz. Fulbright, 25, was indicted with three men Dec. 18, 2007, by a Pima County Superior Court grand jury on charges of kidnapping, armed robbery, aggravated robbery and two counts of assault with a deadly weapon, the Arizona Daily Star reported. Fulbright, was Miss Pima County in 2005 and Miss Desert Sun in 2006, and sought the title of Miss Arizona during those years. This is a beauty contestant? Jesus. I actually feel better about that dolt Caitlin Upton such as in the Iraq, such as. At least she didn’t kidnap, rob, or assault anyone like in the Asian countries such as, uh, like or hurt any U.S. Americans with maps in South Africa such as and everything like that. At least Caitlin Upton is just STOOPID! Perhaps stupid enough to accidentally have sex with me. You know every guy that saw her meltdown video just laughed and laughed and then gave a quick recovery low ... More About: Beauty
Bisexuals are a higher form of life.
2008-01-03 11:11:00 Go with me here. If you can get into the whole mentality about projecting into the future evolution of humanity and that one day we might all become something that is outside our corporeal bodies, then you may think the way I do about this. Kind of like in Star Trek or something, we may evolve ... SHARETHIS.addEntry( { title: "Bisexuals are a higher form of life.", url: "http://hashitout.com/?p=33" } ); More About: Life , Dating , Form , Higher
Bisexuals are a higher form of life.
2008-01-03 11:11:00 Go with me here. If you can get into the whole mentality about projecting into the future evolution of humanity and that one day we might all become something that is outside our corporeal bodies, then you may think the way I do about this. Kind of like in Star Trek or something, we may evolve beyond the physical into just a mental state or balls of energy. And if that is the possible way of things, then it follows that along the way humans would go from being male and female to some level of androgyny. And if that is true, then when you consider today’s heterosexual or homosexual choices, meaning one choice between man and woman, or men and men, or woman and woman (admittedly the last is the hottest one), then you gotta figure that bisexuality is a higher form of life. It’s one step closer to the merging of all humans into androgyny. So I guess my point would be, if you meet any bisexuals (man or woman), fuck ‘em. Literally. Have sex with them because ... More About: Life , Form , Higher
Stupid parents should be killed.
2008-01-02 13:16:00 If you have kids and they misbehave, you should die. If your kid kicks the back of my chair at a movie theater or on a plane or anywhere for that matter, I should legally be able to end your life right at that moment. This law should afford me the opportunity to then take your kid(s) into custody because I could do a better job of raising them anyway. If I, in fact, could not do a better job, then the child(ren) in question should also be made to not exist in a legal capacity as well. Death to those who cannot conform to even the most modest of social behaviors that may serve to drive me FUCKING BATTY! If I hear your kid, you die. If I see your kid doing something it shouldn’t be doing and I don’t like what I see, you die. If I sense your kid is doing anything at all I may disapprove of, you die. Yes. That’s right. I am the judge and jury. And if you have offspring, I am the boss of you! Now, let’s not get all bent out of shape here. I am of cours... More About: Stupid , Parents , Killed
Stupid parents should be killed.
2008-01-02 13:16:00 If you have kids and they misbehave, you should die. If your kid kicks the back of my chair at a movie theater or on a plane or anywhere for that matter, I should legally be able to end your life right at that moment. This law should afford me the opportunity to then take your ... SHARETHIS.addEntry( { title: "Stupid parents should be killed.", url: "http://hashitout.com/?p=32" } ); More About: Parents , Killed , Pare
Police Pepper-Spraying Inmate?s Genital Area
2008-01-02 09:02:00 Three Los Angeles Sheriff Department deputies are suspended (or, paid leave, that is) as a criminal investigation is opened into accusations from an inmate saying that he was isolated by them, punched and pepper-sprayed in the anus and scrotum area. read more SHARETHIS.addEntry( { title: "Police Pepper -Spraying Inmate’s Genital Area ", url: "http://hashitout.com/?p=31" } );
What do we call this decade anyway?
2008-01-01 23:19:00 Entering 2008, our ninth year of this decade, you would think by now we would have decided on what to call this decade. It’s easy to say 70s, 80s, 90s, but now what? Do we say ohs? Do we say aughts? What do we call it. It’s almost over and no one has committed. Incidentally, for ... SHARETHIS.addEntry( { title: "What do we call this decade anyway?", url: "http://hashitout.com/?p=30" } ); More About: Life , Call
What do we call this decade anyway?
2008-01-01 23:19:00 Entering 2008, our ninth year of this decade, you would think by now we would have decided on what to call this decade. It’s easy to say 70s, 80s, 90s, but now what? Do we say ohs? Do we say aughts? What do we call it. It’s almost over and no one has committed. Incidentally, for those that take issue about this being the 9th year of this decade (which it totally is), please see this post: People can’t count. Pretty soon, it’ll be easier to say the decade nomenclature. The tens. Wait! Is it the tens or the teens? Or is it the tens until 12 THEN the teens. Shit. I guess I’ll have to wait until the re-roaring 20s to be sure. someone should figure this out. Maybe I’ll go to Wikipedia and see what they got or put my own info there. Wikipedia is so cool. But how do I look that up? Do I search for “what do we call this decade”? Wow. I’m really tired now from even thinking about this. I guess I’l... More About: Call
Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, there oughta be a law?
2007-12-31 22:19:00 Oh wait! There ARE laws. These idiots just get around them. It’s one thing if you’re all drunk and get pulled over and start Jew hating. “Do you know who I am officer? Do YOU!! I’m Mel Gibs–{vurp}… Sorry ’bout that. You’re not a Jew are ya? Fuck you officer.” I don’t know, I actually think that’s ... SHARETHIS.addEntry( { title: "Paris Hilton , Lindsay Lohan , Britney Spears , there oughta be a law…", url: "http://hashitout.com/?p=29" } );
Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, there oughta be a law…
2007-12-31 22:19:00 Oh wait! There ARE laws. These idiots just get around them. It’s one thing if you’re all drunk and get pulled over and start Jew hating. “Do you know who I am officer? Do YOU!! I’m Mel Gibs–{vurp}… Sorry ’bout that. You’re not a Jew are ya? Fuck you officer.” I don’t know, I actually think that’s kinda funny, I guess my real problem must be with young women who are supposed to be hot, but then they turn out to be all dirty (not good/sexy dirty, but as in physically have dirt on them dirty) and Whiskey Tango (White Trash for those not up on my lingo). Spears USED TO be hot, like 9 years ago. Lindsay Lohan WAS cute, never thought she was hot per se. Hilton was never attractive in any way to me. She’s like a toothpick, but dumber. The only good thing that ever happened with her is that her fortune got taken away from her. I laughed for a half a day over that. As 2007 closes, let’s ... More About: Paris Hilton , Britney Spears , Britney , Paris
Is Tom Cruise crazy?
2007-12-30 16:14:00 Who cares? Even if he is crazy, you gotta love this guy. Sure I could do without all that “Born on the 4th of July” and “Far and Away” crap, but what about all the other stuff? “Top Gun”, “Mission Impossible(s)”, “The Firm”, “A Few Good Men”, and many more. I love his movies. I’m sorry if you think I’M crazy. His shit is wildly entertaining to me. I don’t know. I’ve always liked this guy. I mean since “Risky Business” in ‘83, I thought he was a great movie dude. And let’s put to rest any rumor of him being gay right now. Tom Cruise is not gay and I can PROVE it. He didn’t kiss back. That, and his dick didn’t taste like shit. Not gay. Scientology? Oh, like that’s any crazier than being Christian. C’mon! All religion is stupid, why does his have to be the stupidest? It’s not even a religion per se anyway ... More About: Crazy
Is Tom Cruise crazy?
2007-12-30 16:14:00 Who cares? Even if he is crazy, you gotta love this guy. Sure I could do without all that “Born on the 4th of July” and “Far and Away” crap, but what about all the other stuff? “Top Gun”, “Mission Impossible(s)”, “The Firm”, “A Few Good Men”, and many more. I love his movies. I’m ... SHARETHIS.addEntry( { title: "Is Tom Cruise crazy?", url: "http://hashitout.com/?p=28" } ); More About: Crazy
Fuck the New England Patriots!
More articles from this author:2007-12-30 12:59:00 I’m PISSED! I hate these assholes. Are they good? Yes. They ARE good, but really, who needs to see such a display? And if the NFL can have an undefeated team like these guys, I think something must be wrong. What’s wrong? I don’t know, but something is. Okay, so I’m a big fan of the ... SHARETHIS.addEntry( { title: "Fuck the New England Patriots !", url: "http://hashitout.com/?p=27" } ); More About: New England Patriots , New England 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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