Maxine's House of Ill Repute

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Articles: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

The Ballad of Maxine and Perkles Paquisha
2008-01-13 14:45:00
It was a dark and stormy night? ?actually, that?s not true.  We don?t see many of those since the drought came to Atlanta and everyone started to figure out that Al Gore is a demigod (I, of course, knew all along).  Instead, it was just your average, run-of-the-mill shitty-as-shitty-can-be day.  I was sick of Atlanta, sick ...
More About: Ballad , Alla

Would You Be My Neighbor - The Sequel
2008-01-13 00:47:00
I’d like ya’ll to meet another of my neighbors.  This fine young gentleman is Corey Waithe, who was arrested a couple of days ago for carrying a concealed weapon. You better pray to God that this cross-eyed motherfucker don’t try to shoot your ass…  …or anyone standing next to you. But, then, I understand why he’s carrying concealed.  ...
More About: Humor , Neighbors , Sequel

Tampons for Africa
2008-01-11 02:11:00
Have ya’ll heard about the newest charitable cause for Africa ?  Apparently, they’re out of tampons.    I’m not makin’ this shit up, Fart Blossoms!  I saw it on the TV last night!  There was a woman on there, asking you to buy Tampax so that they could have the money to ship tampons to the starving children ...

Commenting Can Be Hard
2008-01-09 14:31:00
Sorry, my Fart Blossoms. What had happened was… On the regular pages of my beautiful blog, you can just enter a comment in the pretty little box at the bottom of the page, but when commenting on a specific post, you have to go to the end of the post, look for the little highlighted word ...
More About: Hard , Commenting

That Defining Song?
2008-01-07 14:11:00
Everyone has one and, no, I’m not talking about an unsightly venereal wart, my Fart Blossoms.  I’m referring to that song that absolutely, without question, defines you as an individual. And this is completely different from your “theme song.”  As we learned from Ally McBeal, everyone needs a theme song - that song that plays when ...
More About: Song

Further Proof the Endtimes Is Near
2008-01-06 11:33:00
Yes, my Fart Blossoms, that is what you think it is, and no, my Fart Blossoms, I haven’t been up all night drinking Two Buck Chuck and playing with Photoshop on my Mac. Don’t believe me?  Here’s the link where you can buy your very own: http://www.ohmibod.com/ My favorite thing about this latest iPod add-on?  The slogan: “Feel the ...
More About: Proof

A Note About A Couple of Recent Posts
2008-01-06 11:23:00
No, I do not write in one continuous paragraph.  My HTML editor is having an issue recognizing paragraphs. Dammit.
More About: Note , Couple , Recent , Posts

I?m Crazy! Somebody Take My Picture!
2008-01-05 11:16:00
 For those Fart Blossoms who don’t know, Maxine has a little feminine hygiene problem commonly known as “Bipolar Disorder,” and no matter how much of that damned FDS I spray on my crotch, it just will not go away.Yes, kids, it’s true.  I’m batshit, baby-cookin’, white-trash-from-Kentwood-Louisiana-my-li ttle-sister’s-knocked-up-and-I̵ 7;m-out-of-meth-and-you’re-not-taki n’-my-kids-so-get-the-fuck-outta-he re-crazy.  But where’s my paparazzi?  Where are my attorneys?  Where’s ...
More About: Picture , Crazy