GorillaSushi GorillaSushi GorillaSushi is a band of eclectic bloggers writing on every imaginable subject. As many blogs gain attention for their narrow focus, we pride ourselves in our broad subject matter. Satire, movie reviews, trailers, humor, politics, technology and cul Articles
Electoral Compass
2008-01-07 17:45:00 Tomorrow's post is guaranteed to be suhweeeeet but until then... Are you unsure of which candidate to give your support in the upcoming US presidential elections? I was. Check out Electoral Compass . Simply hit start, answer some questions and you'll be given a chart showing your views and their proximity to the stances of the candidates. Can't argue with that! Tomorrow's post will rule.
My Entrecard Subliminal Secret
2008-01-05 15:29:00 I would make a really crappy scientist. When the weather looks the way it does in the picture to the right, there's not much to do out of doors so us Midwestern nerds begin what I like to call "stir-crazy season". The times when our brains kick into overdrive to compensate for the lack of heat, sunlight and fresh air. So I experiment. I come up with brilliant ideas for experiments but then forget about them. Or lose interest. Or procrastinate them away. Even when I do start an experiment, it's a safe bet that I'll lose interest somewhere along the line or even more entertaining, I'll forget that I started it in the first place. I forget a lot of stuff. This morning however, I suddenly noticed an ongoing experiment that I had forgotten allowed to age like fine cheese. When I first signed up with Entrecard I jokingly added a subliminal message to my card. See it? Do you see it now? It's been there the whole time. ... More About: Secret
Fuck On Friday
2008-01-04 13:12:00 Don't ever use the old F-word again until you've thoroughly studied this video... More About: Friday , Fuck
Religoius Wiz Caption Contest
2008-01-03 16:15:00 Thanks to Lusciousnis who reminded me that today is Thursday - caption contest day. I blame the holiday and Orangina. Caption away, kids. More About: Contest
WTF, Orangina?
2008-01-03 12:46:00 Seriously. WTF? I've always had a special place in my heart for the French orange carbonated drink Orangina. Not because I've ever tasted it but because it rhymes with vagina. And that's awesome. I'm also reminded of rock-wuss Scott Stap who was charged with assault after throwing a bottle of Orangina at his wife while "hopped up on drugs". If you can't throw a bottle of Orangina at your wife these days, who can you throw a bottle of Orangina at? Anyway, then I saw the following video and I haven't been able to wipe the confused look off of my face for the last 12 hours... Soooooo... Ummmm... Since when did soft-core furrie porn become a marketing device? If you're anything like me you've heard the phrase "tentacle porn" and it makes you giggle. But using it to promote your (supposedly) tasty beverage? I also like the word Orangina because it's also a good word for describing Lindsay Lohan's naughty b...
Win One Hundred Bucks - EASY
2008-01-02 01:41:00 I've given away t-shirts, my integrity, 184 kittens and more in previous contests but I now offer you, kind reader, a chance to win $100 in cold hard cash money. That's like at least 100 dollar bills. You're probably asking yourself "Self, how can GorillaSushi offer such fabulous prizes without demanding my first born?". The answer is so complicated that it's easy - GorillaSushi International Inc. has joined a coalition of blogs and has been inducted into an ancient secret society. A prize society, people. Who's in this mysterious group? JoeTech.com Link Bait Gorilla Sushi (hey, that's me!) Mixed Market Arts CK Marketing The Big Bald Blog How 2 Blogger To enter, you'll need a self addressed-stamped envelope, a llama, a pudding cup and you might want to work on your flexibility and cardio for about a week or two. NO! WAIT! This contest is easy as 3.14159265 (etc.). Rather than a set of rules/requirements, you've got s... More About: Bucks , Easy
Viva La Resolution
2007-12-31 16:22:00 I don't make New Year's resolutions because there's no room left for improvement. I was looking to do a "Resolution Round-Up" as I did last year but I couldn't really find any good blogger resolutions this time around. Maybe there will be more around after everyone's had a night of debauchery/disappointment. In case you're frantically searching for a last minute resolution, here's a list of a few that I'm offering up in exchange for your immortal soul ... Acknowledge the existence of all of my illegitimate children Accept my jail sentence Stop cross-dressing at family functions Learn to take a punch Stop being so morbidly obese Start holding out for better Crystal Meth prices Scorpion-proof the old double-wide Tint the windows on my Datsun Stop smelling my baseball caps Dispose of the bodies more thoroughly Start using the phrase "suck it" more often Apply directly to the forehead Sell my complete VHS collection of every Miami Vice episod... More About: Viva
Douglas Adams Quotes Illustrated
2007-12-30 00:55:00 Disjointed post of Douglas Adams quotes ahead. It reflects the cloud in my head today very well... Or maybe she decided that an evening with your old tutor would be blisteringly dull and opted for the more exhilarating course of washing her hair instead. Dear me, I know what I would have done. It's only lack of hair that forces me to pursue such a hectic social round these days. If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat. Life is a level of complexity that almost lies outside our vision; it is so far beyond anything we have any means of understanding that we just think of it as a different class of object, a different class of matter; 'life', something that had a mysterious essence about it, was God given, and that's the only explanation we had. The bombshell comes in 1859 when Darwin publishes 'On the Origin of Species'. It takes a long time before we really get to grips with this and begin to u... More About: Quotes , Douglas Adams
You Love/Hate Me, You Really Do!
2007-12-28 14:17:00 Wow! Remember a fews days back when I posted a tiny blog that included, oh I don't know, something like 1,300 links/pictures of Entrecard users as a holiday "gift of links"? As I stated, I was looking for attention (because I'm a whore like that), helping out others, hoping to get some Entrecard card-drops and maybe a link back or two in the process. So I modified the grid of 1,300 pics to fit a little better in post form and let loose. The post was so bloated that it actually made the internet vomit in anger - but only a little. Thus I figured that it would be avoided like a dentist with the plague. I was somewhat wrong on that one. Fifty Two comments as of today - so many that they've rolled over to a second page. Cool! Sites like Weblantis and BadEvan put up their own versions and even gave me some credit for the idea. Bonus! Androidguys.blogspot.com were so delighted that they offered up a month of free ad-space in t... More About: Love , Hate
Medevial Scooter Caption Contest
2007-12-27 13:39:00 It doesn't feel like a Thursday but I suppose it is so here's your weekly caption inspiration. Leave your caption(s) in the comments and I'll drop a few of mine throughout the day. Note: Quotes from the movie "Office Space" will be disqualified because through some Quantum anomaly they all fit perfectly. More About: Contest , Scooter , Caption
EntreCard Holiday Link Love
2007-12-26 18:22:00 Is it link-baiting? Maybe. Is it a knock off of the 2K Bloggers idea? Sort of. Is it the longest loading page in the history of GorillaSushi? Most definitely. Happy Holiday s to all! ... More About: Love , Link
FreeRice
2007-12-24 16:47:00 No, I'm not giving away a surplus of shrimp fried rice from last night's raucous Festivus celebration. No, Condoleezza Rice has not been wrongly detained and no, I'm not petitioning for her prompt release. FreeRice is a website that addresses 2 of my favorite topics - education and poverty. Simply put, you can donate to the United Nations World Food Program without having to sign up, spend a dime or even move from your chair and you'll be educating yourself in the process. The concept is beautifully simple - you are presented with a word and 4 possible definitions. Select the correct definition and you have just donated 20 grains of rice. FreeRice automatically adjusts to your level of vocabulary. It starts by giving you words at different levels of difficulty and then, based on how you do, assigns you an approximate starting level. You then determine a more exact level for yourself as you play. When you get a word wrong, you go to an easier level. ...
Bald Blog Appocalypse
2007-12-22 19:41:00 Why is it bald? Because it's about The Big Bald Blog . Why is it an apocalypse? Because I, much like that guy who rides a rusty dirt-bike out of WW II era planes, lands on hang gliders in mid-air, base jumps off the glider to land on a surf board and then free dives into sea caves to wrestle steroid-fueled sharks on pay-per-view, I'm going to daringly attempt to combine a contest entry and a meme. Stand back, internets. This could get downright fugly. The Contest The Big Bald Blog is having a sweet contest to celebrate his own awesomeness (who wouldn't?). One lucky winner will be walking out of the prize vault with the following... An 8 Gig iPod Touch 500 Entrecard Credits A total blog review from Mike over at Bloggin-Ads Some cool Big Pappa Worldwide gear. Yes, these are fantastic prizes but you can forget winning because I've already assembled a couple of angsty teen goth wiccans an army of super-psychics from a secret facility in Siberia and I have ins...
Golden Ninjas On DVD
2007-12-21 13:13:00 Every Friday I link back to posts here on GorillaSushi from one year ago (it's how I flaunt my longevity). This week in GS history was a little flat due to the holidays but here's two... Why HD-DVD/Blue-ray Combo Players Are A Bad Idea A long and detailed post about the potential social ramifications of Hi-Def combo players. Not a stupendous post but it's been read over 6,000 times and still gets hits daily so I guess it's worth something. Curse Of The Golden Flower Trailer A seriously underrated film. In fact, I'm posting the trailer again. Why so awesome? Freakin' ninjas! Tons of ninjas coming out of the woodwork, freaking out and killing people. Seriously. Oh, and Merry Xmas... More About: Ninjas
Crotch Looker Caption Contest
2007-12-20 13:49:00 It's Thursday and you know what that means. No? It's Caption Contest day and this one should be a no-brainer... Put on your thinking-helmet, stop sneaking the Xmas candy (it's for the damn guests!) and give it your best shot, Tiger.
Shirt Of The Month: CockBlock
2007-12-19 03:08:00 So maybe it's been more than a month since the last shirt of the month. Well maybe I don't play by your outdated "Gregorian calendar rules". Ever think of that, smartypants? Anyway, when you see a guy flirting with a girl, do you... Take the earliest opportunity to embarrass and belittle him. Attempt to gain her attention and monopolize it for the duration of the evening. Get her ugly feminist friends all riled up. Convince the girl that she should leave this dump (alone). Throw Jesus and abortions into the conversation. All of the above. If you've answered "yes" or even "what?" to any of the above then I may just have the most perfect shirt for you...ever. My new patented "CockBlock" shirt is the result of months of research deep within the bowels of the secret underground GorillaSushi headquarters. No words appear on the shirt itself. Your clever friends will just have to hope that they figure it out...before it... More About: Shirt , Month , Mont
LOST Fix
2007-12-18 13:54:00 Every time I start to think about the upcoming season of LOST, I... Start stomping around the room Tug at my clothes like a drunken toddler Whine "Make it staaaaaaaart!" But there's still just over 2 months to go. If you're like me (I hope you're not) you're looking for a little something to help make it through the dry season. Because I'm awesome, here's 2 "little somethings"... And if you haven't seen them yet, there's 6 (and more coming) webisodes of the LOST "Missing Pieces". Some look like nothing more than editing room covering but there's one or two that shed some mysterious light. More About: Lost
Sociopathic Eights Meme
2007-12-17 13:57:00 You might not know that I have a Meme Policy...but I do. I've been "tagged" by Meleah from BlahBlahMia BlahBlahCulpa (who is secretly a belly dancing image consultant with a "product" line). When I say "tagged" I mean it less in the sense of the innocent playground game of tag and more in the sense of a game preserve ranger tranquilizing and tagging a game animal before leading it to it's inevitable surprise slaughter. There are no rules other than "You go answer question with 8 answer" because seven would simply not be enough. 8 Things I'm Passionate About Paving the whales Nuking the moon Being passionate Nipples, Trannies and Squirrels on Flickr Ann Coulter Porn Porn in general p.s. "Transgender" is not a funny thing to try searching on Flickr. 8 Things I Say Often the of to and a an is it That one was easy. 8 Books I've Read Recently If I've said it once, I've said it 467,... More About: Path
The Dark Knight Teaser Trailer
2007-12-15 17:38:00 Because Vrtualme said she'd get it first and because Dark ly Dreaming David had it and lost it... abWritePlayer(1599493, 468, 400, "http://vid.adbrite.com/video/abplayer?") ; Damn, I'm a jerk. More About: Teaser , Trailer , Dark Knight , Knight
The Monkey Day Jesus Bully
2007-12-14 13:42:00 Here at GorillaSushi headquarters there is one sacred day that stands above the rest. That day is today. You know... Happy Monkey Day!! "Monkey Day is an annual celebration of all things simian, a festival of primates, a chance to scream like a monkey and throw feces at whomever you choose. Or perhaps just a reason to hang out with your friends while grunting and picking fleas off each other." The Opposite of Jesus Camp Isn't using children as anti-propaganda tools the same as propaganda? (one of the most poplular posts here on GorillaSushi) I Hate Drake A little about bullying featuring this video... More About: Bully
Check My Ass Caption Contest
2007-12-13 13:30:00 As with every stinkin' Thursaday, here's your caption inspiration... Drop a comment or two if you can put down the (proverbial) crack pipe for a minute... More About: Contest , Check , Caption
Pole Dancing Girls In NYC Subway
2007-12-12 17:07:00 Hey look! Somebody figured out a way to get a camera inside my brain! More About: Dancing , Girls , Subway , Pole , Pole dancing
The Second Loser
2007-12-11 13:41:00 I recently sunk (not far) the the level of a community college meteorology major drunkenly begging for sex outside of the Victoria's Secret in the mall when I asked for some help winning the MyBlog Log popularity contest. Unfortunately the kittens have been stuck in US customs for a few weeks due to some red tape type snaffu and I'm afraid that they're pushing the limits of their shelf life, all stuffed in a box somewhere in Mexico. Poor kitties :( Anyway, what? Oh yeah. I came in third! Go me! Anyone who's jealous should really consider raising your standards. I mean look at me...jealous? Really? You should also know that I obsessively worked it on the shady streetcorners of MyBlogLog all night long like a 25 cent whore. Ow, my butt. Here are the 10 sites with the most new members in November... Survival of the Feedest (477) SEOlogs (424) GorillaSushi (225) (<-DAMN!) Buen Amigo (213) Collective Thoughts (177) Crayon Writer (169) A Blog... More About: Loser
Entrecard Review
2007-12-09 20:27:00 This is not a paid/sponsored review nor does the following contain any affiliate links or any sort of thing that would benefit me directly in any way! This is a wholehearted, earnest review of the new widget service called Entrecard. Don't start yawning just yet. Yes, there's going to be some stats and perhaps a little technical mumbo/jumbo so I'll cut to the summary right off the bat... Entrecard is one of the best services that I have ever had the pleasure of signing up with. It has increased my traffic in multiple ways, shown me some really great blogs and brought in a few regular readers, all with a minimum of effort on my part. Seriously. Background Entrecard started up just over a month ago at the Blog World Expo and has already grown to serve over 600 blogs (expect that to double in a week or so). The widget has been picked up by a few big namers such as John Chow and ProBlogger and GorillaSushi. The Widget After signing up with Entrecard, t... More About: Review
Lohan's Disco Poop On A Skateboard
2007-12-07 13:29:00 One year ago this week on GorillaSushi... Dschinghis Khan IS Disco "Steamrollered The Music Charts Across The Globe – Gold & Platinium In Total Of 20 Countries Sold Over 20 Million Records – Won All Important Music Awards – Guest In 240 TV Shows – Smiled On The Front Covers Of All Of The Leading Magazines." Lindsay Lohan's Email Monstrosity "Al Gore will help me he came up to me last night and said he would be very happy to have a conversation with me. If he is willing to help me, let's find out. Hilary Clinton, Bill Clinton, and Evan metroplis, and John Daur who works with them would be willing, if we just ask." Jason The Allmighty Poo Prophet The one where I predict the future of flatulence. And this excellent video... More About: Poop , Skateboard
Cheap Web Hosting Review
2007-12-07 03:36:00 Ever since Blogger announced the downgrade of it’s commenting system, allowing only comments by Blogger users and effectively creating a walled-in community akin to LiveJournal, there’s been a ton of talk about leaving Blogger’s Island and looking for a new home. Some will make a lateral move and some will step up and start looking for a hosting company for their new blog. The first step when hosting your own blog is of course to find a hosting company, a task that can seem daunting at first glance. The interwebs are teeming with hosting companies offering a cornucopia of features and covering a huge range of prices. How to decide? I recommend Cheap Web Hosting Review . Cheap Web Hosting Review lists web hosting providers in an easy to search and navigate system. Budget, Reseller, Windows, Frontpage, Linux, Dedicated and Virtual Private servers are of few of the categories. Every hosting provider is listed with a revi...
Poo Party Caption Contest
2007-12-06 13:32:00 So I think the caption contest is looking like a regular Thursday thing. For your captioning pleasure, I submit the following... No rules. No prizes. Why do I continue calling it a contest? Well, why do you park in your driveway and drive on the parkway? Life has many questions, grasshopper. Sometimes it's just better to go with the flow of life and watch some TV. More About: Contest , Party , Caption
A Wonderous Mustache
2007-12-05 13:24:00 Last month I had entered myself in the MyBlogLog ProBlogger Contest in hopes of winning fame and fortune. In a shameless plea I wrote here "If you blog about my struggle, leave a comment here with a link so I can write a glowing review of you, your blog and your awesome mustache (if applicable)." I didn't actually expect anyone out there to shill for me but to my delight Karen from A Strange Life took me up on my offer! I could drone on for hours, detailing the particulars of Karen's awesomeness but I really think that's it's the kind of "rad" that needs to be experienced for one's self. (in other words - visit her damn site) In order to appear more menacing to her cats breathe at night, Karen has to wear an apparatus that transforms her into the spitting image of a certain evil space-overlord... For a sampling of some of my most favoritest posts simply look to a few of her categories.. Boobs Shithead and the Holiday classic Sh... More About: Mustache
The Bored Voyeur
2007-12-04 23:47:00 Sometimes when I don't feel like working I secretly take pictures of my coworker Karen. She has no idea that I do this. She doesn't know that I upload them to my Flickr account. She doesn't know that I then download them and add her name and an arrow for better visual presentation. She doesn't know that I put them on my blog and show the back of her head to the world. She doesn't even know that I have a blog. I hope you feel dirty now. More About: Bored , Voyeur
2 Girls One Plea Deal?
More articles from this author:2007-12-04 13:53:00 Attention: There are no links to the 2 Girls , One Cup (2G1C) video in this post. If you've never seen it, consider yourself lucky. You don't want to see it - I promise. You're going to go find it anyway, aren't you? Don't say I didn't warn you. Why don't you ever listen to me? The Smoking Gun is reporting that the director of 2G1C, Marco Fiorito, a Brazilian man who describes himself as a "compulsive fetishist" was brought in on obscenity charges last year. He copped a plea deal, paid a fine and returned to Brazil, having been unaware that selling his films was illegal in the US. In his declaration, Fiorito explained "I would have stopped because the money is not the main reason that I make these films." He then added, "I have already made fetish movies with scat/feces using chocolate instead of feces. Many actors make scat films but they don't agree to eat feces." Sorry kids, it was chocolate ice cream. Here's a fe... More About: Deal 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
 |
|
 |
