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Chocolate Bunny Torture
2007-12-03 13:44:00
Two videos about chocolate in a row? I must be PMSing...     The part with the blow dryer is surreal.
More About: Chocolate , Torture , Bunny

Cherry Chocolate Rain
2007-12-01 19:16:00
Serious kudos to Tay Zonday for furiously suckling the teet of fame like a dangerously dehydrated kitten. I wanna be an internet superstar.
More About: Rain , Chocolate , Cherry , Chocolate Rain

Social Thoughts Site
2007-12-01 14:31:00
When I first started down the long and treacherous road of blogulation I was apparently fueled by anger and embarrassment.   It was a reluctant decision. The wife and I had mocked the idea of bloggers and I could barely bring myself to utter the words “blogger” or “blogosphere” without cracking a smile. We thought that MySpace was the epicenter of the blogging world but we were turned off by it’s corporate hugeness.   After reviewing many a site, we ended up with accounts at TagWorld and the obsession began. We (obviously) eventually left after I realized that my head was inflating with the “big fish, little pond” syndrome. TagWorld was subsequently bought out (by Viacom?) and I was justified in getting out before selling out.   If I were to start all over today I would be looking for the same things that I initially sought out. Free – essential Unlimited bandwidth Tight community Ability to upload both photos a...
More About: Social , Site , Thoughts

GorillaSushi Wayback
2007-11-30 13:12:00
Every Friday I list a few gems from a year ago here on GorillaSushi but this Friday I've got something else to share.   Ever checked out Archive.org's Wayback Machine? It's a usefull spot for referencing websites that no longer exist (like RobotFrank) and it's fun to see what some corporate sites looked like back in the 90's (like McDonalds) or just see some funny beginnings (like Wikipedia). But I just found that GorillaSushi has been indexed!! Check out the early days of GS - so young, so naive, so pastel.   But back to one year ago...   The Solution To All Problems The one where I propose a solution to all of the problems of mankind (and no one listened).   Backyard Fusion Do you know the difference between fusion and fission? Do you know that you can make your own fusion reactor?   The Dull Beige Tapestry of Boredom Links to the most boring blogs of lat year's Thanksgiving 4 day weekend. i have nothing to blog about since my life's just hit a poi...

Last Minute Theater Tickets
2007-11-30 12:14:00
I’m proud to say that I haven’t yet bought one single holiday present.   Proud?   Because that’s just me. I’m a last minute kinda guy. I perfected it like Salmon Rushdie perfected link-baiting. I remember heading over to my parents’ house Xmas morning many years ago and stopping on the way in to do some shopping at a 24hr pharmacy. Yes, my dad did love his digital tire gauge.   There are however some things that aren’t as easy to cinch up at the last minute. One such situation is ticket sales. If you think you’re going to find some last minute tickets to this weekend’s mega-arena rock extravaganza, you’re sadly mistaken friend. Unlike the 24hr pharmacy’s digital tire gauges, event tickets tend to sell out and once their gone, you’re out of luck, right?   Nope.   SourceTix has all of the tickets you need and quite a few that you didn’t even know needed. The site has tickets...
More About: Theater , Tickets , Minute , Thea , Tick

Confusing Caption Contest
2007-11-29 13:44:00
How about another caption contest free-for-all? Get yourself come strong coffee and have at it... No rules. No prizes. Remember: you don't "caption" to win...you "caption" because you have to. Don't you?
More About: Contest , Caption

Teeth Movie Trailer
2007-11-28 13:40:00
About a month ago my little brother mentioned this movie to me and I assumed that it would be some kind of Troma crap-fest (in a possibly good way) but the trailer below shows a pretty professional deal.   WARNING: The below trailer may very well creep the hell out of you - especially if you have a penis. Or a vagina.     Teeth is a black comedy horror film written and directed by Mitchell Lichtenstein. It premiered at the 2007 Sundance Film Festival in the independent drama category. Lionsgate and The Weinstein Company picked the film up for a release sometime this year.   The film prominently features the concept of vagina dentata (if I mention that vagina dentata fits nicely to the tune of "Hakuna Matata" will you be able to keep from singing that all day long?).   I feel queezy...
More About: Movie , Trailer , Trail

Weird gadgets
2007-11-28 13:18:00
When I first started blogging the hardest part was trying to decide whether or not to be a niche blogger. Being a scatterbrain, I ended up going “niche-less” but if I had settled down with a particular focus it would have been along the lines of “awesome stuff”.   My old definition of an “awesome stuff” site was something like BingBoing but their hugeness and frequency of posts ended up scaring me away. More recently I’ve delved into to smaller, more accessible gadget/cool stuff sites.   One such site is http://www.b5network.com/.   B5Network posts once or twice per week with short highlights of the coolest stuff. The best thing about B5’s selections are the fact that most of the items are actually for sale (compared to many other similar site that list nothing but prototypes and concepts).   With categories of Advertising, Art, Gadgets , Misc., Toys and Weird B5 has been posting regularly for nearly a y...

Alexa Toolbar Doesn't Suck
2007-11-27 13:48:00
If you're a blogger and you've never checked your Alexa stats then you, my friend, are humble beyond belief.   I never considered Alexa much, being more concerned with my Google PageRank instead but I've been looking into more money-making opportunities and my Alexa ranking keeps coming up. I've checked Alexa in the past but only out of curiosity (and then disappointment). I also knew that they offered a "toolbar" and I assumed it looked something like this... In researching Alexa I've found out a lot of info but there's really only a few important core points. The only way to increase Alexa rank is to increase traffic (no matter what the scammers say). The traffic rank is based on three months of aggregated historical traffic data from millions of Alexa Toolbar users and is a combined measure of page views and users. The closest analogy here is the Nielsen TV Ratings system: Homes are targeted by demographic and TV watchers are given set-top boxes or j...
More About: Fire , Suck , Add-on

MACQUAN-1 Anti-Gravity Device- Real?
2007-11-26 00:47:00
Below are 2 videos depicting the MACQUAN-1 anti-gravity device. The first one is a polished clip and the second one shows the device in action, tethered to a table. Real ? A hoax?   Original videos were found at adriangrey.com. The site www.earthport1.net referrenced in the first video seems to be down which makes things a little more mysterious.   Any scifi nerds getting a tingly feeling?   Any smart-asses springing into action to prove me gullible?
More About: Device , Anti

BlogRush Review
2007-11-23 20:49:00
I've been waiting to review BlogRush until I really got a grasp of what the pros and cons are.   BlogRush is a "Cooperative Syndication Network." It's a network of blogs that run a small "widget" on their pages. Each time this widget is loaded it will contain 5 clickable headlines which are the blog post titles to other users' posts. Users earn "syndication credits" based on each time their blog loads the widget as well as each time any of their referrals loads the widget. They also earn additional credit based on all the activity through 10 generations of referrals. 1 Syndication Credit = having one of their recent blog post titles served inside the widget on another member's blog.   The reality of the service is extremely basic: Sign up, add the widget and check your stats whenever you want.   The Numbers I've been using BlogRush for about a month. My post titles show up in about 2000 other people's widgets. Over the last week I...
More About: Review

Happy Thanksgiving (US only)
2007-11-22 16:47:00
This Thanksgiving don't be a cop-out and watch some cheesy Xmas movie. Instead, watch the only true Thanksgiving movie ever made...     If you've never heard of Alice 's Restaurant , check Wikipedia.
More About: Happy , Hank

Stealing From Giuliani
2007-11-21 13:54:00
Don't care for Republican presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani ?   Or maybe you don't care for Republicans in general? Perhaps you hold a grudge against anyone who bears a stark resemblance to a cheese-obsessed mouse?   Try this - do a search in Google for "giuliani". See the highlighted, paid entry at the very top of the list? Every time you click on it, Giuliani's campaign has to shell out a few cents.   Let's see if we can bankrupt him by the end of the day. Just for fun.   Happy Thanksgiving, Rudy!
More About: Stealing

Speaking of Gorillas and Boobies
2007-11-20 13:10:00
If you hadn't seen it earlier this year, you'll want to watch the Cadbury Gorilla commercial before watching this video. Being an amateur OCD enthusiast, I really appreciate all of the attention to detail - right down to the blinking.   The model is British pop singer, rapper, songwriter and model, Jentina and yes, it's a real Wonderbra commercial (or at least a real Wonderbra viral ad). I personally think that she's way too skinny and the sight of her ribs kinda grosses me out but then the camera pans up to her boobs I hear Phil Collins and every thing's ok.   Those prone to stalking at the drop of a hat should proceed to watch Jentina's video for her hit song "Bad Ass Strippa" - although I really wouldn't recommend it.
More About: Gorillas , Boobies , Speaking , Boob

My Four Day Orgasm
2007-11-19 23:50:00
Four days off from any type of work is a pleasure I am cherishing.  Normally, I love taking a full week off and actually going somewhere - preferably a beach.  This year, between the move and my crazy sicknesses, Jason somehow used up all his days.  I'm left with 5 still, even after this extended weekend.  Ah - I'm living the high life.  So what do I do with myself for four days?  Here are my highlights! Thursday night was jammed packed with another adoption agency - it served to confirm our choice of FRC in Chicago.  So - yay us!  Babies, babies, babies! Friday I treated myself to some painting in the morning and then an hour long orgasm via deep tissue massage.  Heavenly.  Judy from C'zar salon in Naperville, is amazing.  She can simply touch my back and I'm off to the big O over and over again.  A cup of coffee and chocolate covered graham cracker later, I had whipped out five pages of writing on my new short story (...

Is It Christmas Yet?
2007-11-18 17:18:00
Is It Christmas Yet?   Is It Christmas Yet?   Is It Christmas Yet?   Find out here.    

Sears Sold Creepy Sex
2007-11-17 20:25:00
Back when I was a kid the Sears Wishbook was the essential tool for researching a holiday wishlist.   Thanks to the inspiration of The RollerBlog I found Wishbook's awesome Flickr page - a collection of years and years worth of wishbooks.   I totally got my panties in a bunch was excited thinking about wandering through the pages of my childhood dreams but as I clicked around I began to feel a little ill.   Sure, sex sells. Always has and always will. The important caveat here is the fact that "marketing sex" changes from decade to decade. In 30 years our everyday commercials will inspire uncomfortable feelings and possibly dry heaves. Similarly, the Sears Wishbook from 1975 has got me scratching my head. Did these people not realize the blatant sexual innuendo that they were employing? Using soft-core porn to sell some things is ok but polyester pant suits for kids??     I think somewhere just below this picture it read "Plaid Overalls - ...
More About: Sold , Creepy

Ninja Review Board
2007-11-16 19:54:00
It has come to my attention that the world is in desperate need of some type of Ninja Review Board . The NRB would be a governing body made up of the world's most bad-assed ninjas who would have the power to decide who gets to use the title "ninja" and who should be publicly humiliated.   Why is the NRB such an urgent need? Because... THIS IS NOT A NINJA, THIS IS NOT A NINJA, AND THIS IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A NINJA.

Fight Club Candy for Republicans
2007-11-16 13:34:00
One year ago on GorillaSushi   Crappy Candy Review - Projector Pop The best part about Halloween is the few fleeting days afterwards when stores dramatically purge all candy from their inventory. Prices drop and after the first day, the selection is slim. By now, the only candy left on any shelf is not from this century, not from this country and not fit for human consumption.   Dennis The Menace - Fight Club Mash-Up I don't know why this is so awsome.   Republicans Wake From 12 Year Coke Binge The Democratic Party has wrested control of the US House of Representatives after 12 years. Bush now must spend the next two years dealing with a Democratic-controlled House and a very narrowly divided Senate. The official Republican response?
More About: Fight Club

Dead Kid Caption Contest
2007-11-15 13:44:00
I got the feeling after yesterday's "What Is It?" that you guys would much rather have a caption contest free-for-all (especially when somebody guesses correctly in a matter of hours). Get yourself come strong coffee and have at it... No rules. No prizes. Well, maybe if someone does an exceptional job I'll update the post itself with the caption and a link...but you don't "caption" to win...you "caption" for the thrill. Don't you?
More About: Contest , Dead , Caption

What Is It?
2007-11-14 12:14:00
I'm sure that someone as clever as yourself you come up with quite a few witty captions/descriptions for this picture... ...but there is only one correct answer (to rule them all).   See if you can read my mind and guess the answer to the question "What is it?". Submit as many guesses as you like (in the comments).   I'll start posting hints here later today if no one guesses correctly.   Good luck!   Update: Amelia from Baby Island guessed correctly -> Cheez Whiz <-highlight to read.

His Bark Is Worse Than His Bite
2007-11-13 13:37:00
News has been quickly spreading regarding an Indonesian fisherman "Dede".   Dede, now 35, baffled medical experts when warty "roots" began growing out of his arms and feet after he cut his knee in a teenage accident.   After testing samples of the lesions and Dede's blood, Dr Anthony Gaspari of the University of Maryland concluded that his affliction is caused by the Human Papilloma Virus (HPV), a fairly common infection that usually causes small warts to develop on sufferers. Still think the HPV vaccine is unnecessary for your kids?   Dede's problem is that he has a rare genetic fault that impedes his immune system, meaning his body is unable to contain the warts. Dede's other problems include being peed on by dogs, finding initials carved into his legs and waking up with tire-swings attached to his arms.   I may relish the many ways that I could secretly mock this person whom I'll never meet but I understand that you may not be a cru...
More About: Bite

KungFu vs. Yoga
2007-11-07 20:01:00
Last night we started a new yoga class at the health club.   I totally didn't mind the fact that I was the only male in the class and the instructor, Katrina (meow) did an excellent job of pushing everyone to their limits. Today I'm a little sore but feeling myself walking and sitting much taller. If you've never tried yoga, I highly recommend it. There's nothing but a long list of benefits to reap.   What? You think it's lame? Girly? Tree-huggerish?   Check this video (I would sit down first and reserve the top 5 spots in your "awesomest videos ever" list for this puppy). See? If it weren't for cheating those two pretty-boys would have gotten their faces pounded into a jelly. Er...in a very peaceful way I guess?
More About: Yoga , Kung , Kungfu

The Gym Effect
2007-11-06 23:39:00
I think I need to start hitting the gym in the mornings rather than researching and writing brilliant posts. Otherwise I'm going to start looking a little more like this... ...and less like this... Wait, which one did I want to look like?   So expect my posts to be sporadic, mispellled, un-researched, semi-boring, plagiarized, etc.   Then again, sometimes it doesn't take that much work to entertain you people. For example... See? Who's a happy camper? Who's a happy camper?
More About: Effect , The G

AVP Requiem
2007-11-04 16:06:00
I know, I know, I know but I'm a sucker for these kind of movies and the trailers are like my crack.     This Christmas there will be no peace on Earth   C'mon. How can you say no to that tagline??
More About: Requiem

In The Closet
2007-11-03 18:04:00
Over the last few weeks I've spent an unhealthy amount of time dwelling in my closet.   When we bought the house the master bedroom's closet came with cheesy wire racks, one on each side. It was functional but not very versatile or nice to look at. After much research we went with an Ikea shelving system because it was on the cheaper side and it had a ton of customization options.   Putting them together was pretty painless (but I'm fairly handy and have a large collection of tools). I would have to say that the real hard part was lugging these boxes around. Getting them off the shelf in the store, loading up the car and dragging them up the stairs nearly sucked out my will to organize. But once they started to take shape it was well worth the effort. Pretty freakin' shwanky, huh?   Wonton's side is pretty extensive. You might be surprised to learn that she only has 2 feet.   My side is a little more utilitarian and NO, those are not Sponge Bob pajama ...
More About: Closet

Pepper Spray and Celluloid Testosterone
2007-11-02 12:18:00
One year ago this week on GorillaSushi...   My 10 Greatest Man-Movies Of All Time One of the longest and most comprehensive posts I've ever put together. Ten essential man-movies with a preview/trailer for each plus an Amazon link so you can quietly buy them all for you own private collection without your friends ever knowing about you lack of manliness.   Pepper Spray in Oregon With over 2000 hits over the last 5 months alone, this post is among my top ten most visited. It features a movie about protests and police action that's bound to raise your blood pressure. My original motivation for posting it was the fact that it had been removed from YouTube and other sites and I wanted to make sure that it didn't disappear altogether.  
More About: Testosterone , Pepper spray

Alphabutt Meme
2007-11-01 12:20:00
The prodigious Anti-Babrbie commissioned the pulchritudinous Melba-Toast from Momma Mia Acknowledgment of Error and thus it is passed on unto me. In the grand tradition of my Meme Policy I give you, kind reader, the Alphabet Meme.   Rules: You must learn the alphabet and if you're an alcoholic, knowing it backwards doesn't hurt. The salami is out of bounds. Yelling "Scrabble" at any time is punishable by a severe whipping.   A: Naming anything with a word beginning with an A is cheating and a blatant cry for attention. If you think that your alphabetic superiority makes you a better person, you're sadly mistaken. Aardvark Escort Service and AAA Automotive Insurance - you're on my list.   B: Bling. Don't say it. It was over before it ever started and you sound like a tool.   C: Is for cockfighting. As if that wasn't a funny enough word, the roosters themselves are often referred to as "battle cocks". In unrelated news, C is also for c...
More About: Habu

Scavenger Hunt Winner
2007-10-30 12:06:00
The Photo Scavenger Hunt is officially closed and we have a winner!   Evelyn from Homespun Honolulu has submitted the winningest 9 photos and gets a brand spanking new GorillaSushi T-shirt in addition to truck-loads of fame (not guaranteed).   Here's her pics...   The Funk   Preparation   Battle   Polka Dots   Abandoned   Creepy   Quiet Place   Retro   Crowded   If you're jealous of Evelyn's triumphant success (as you should be), fear not. I'll probably do another one in the near future. For now, I've got some memes to catch up on...  
More About: Winner , Scavenger Hunt , Cave , Avenge

The Half-Assed Hunt For Mia
2007-10-29 02:03:00
It should be very clearly stated for the record that I have not watched VH1's show Rock of Love nor do I ever intend to.   The wife's boss however loves the show and therefore the wife gets all kinds of updates. Recently, now that the show has ended, the wife passed along one curious update to me - two of the girls from the show are from Naperville Illinois and one (Mia) works as a bartender! We live right next to Naperville and spend nearly every Friday and Saturday night there. We used to eat sushi in downtown N-ville but recently we've been spending our weekend evenings bar hopping.   Even though we had never seen the show, the prospect of bumping into this Mia girl was a little exciting. Unfortunately there are about 50 restaurants and bars clustered around the downtown area alone. For the last few weekends it's been a running joke - "look for Mia. Is that her?"   But last night there was an actual sighting. Kind of.   We tried the Front Street ...
More About: Half , Hunt