GorillaSushi GorillaSushi GorillaSushi is a band of eclectic bloggers writing on every imaginable subject. As many blogs gain attention for their narrow focus, we pride ourselves in our broad subject matter. Satire, movie reviews, trailers, humor, politics, technology and cul Articles
My First Threadless Shirt Design
2009-12-31 19:49:00 Threadless works with artist from all over the world, taking in designs and putting them up for public vote. Winning designs are put into production, made available for sale and the artists are handsomely compensated! Yesterday I submitted my very first design! If you like it, please take a minute to go HERE and rate it and indicate that you would consider buying it on a shirt (not any commitment, just opinion). You'll need to sign in/up to rate. Any votes are very much appreciated! More About: Design , Shirt
Gingerbread House
2009-12-25 18:24:00 I Photoshop ped this Xmas gift for you, internet. More About: House
Best Conversation Ever
2009-12-02 06:04:00 A conversation I just had on Tumblr regarding the possibility of someone driving my broke ass to a tweetup in San Francisco. Note that I spoke in pictures as well as words. Me: Who …is driving me to San Francisco in January? Monkeyfrog: Are you very, very brave? Me: I fear nothing except deep water and carnival rides such as The Zipper. Do-over: I will pick Monkeyfrog up. She and I will pick you up. There are certain talents you will need to exhibit. I’m sure you’ll do fine. Me: I can play America the Beautiful on the tuba. No I can’t. I can probably figure out how to tap dance though. Monkeyfrog: Just show us your tuba and hold onto your fucking hat. Me: Do-over: I think I can fit it in the back. What.
Ted Kennedy Is My Power Animal
2009-11-27 20:33:00 After a twisted series of back and forth jokes on my Tumblr blog, I came up with this design for a t-shirt. A few people actually were interested in buying one so I made a Zazzle store where you can now purchase them! Also available on mugs, travel mugs and tote bags. Makes a somewhat greatest gift ever. Pretty much. More About: Power , Animal , Kennedy , Ted Kennedy
Chop Cup
2009-11-12 16:14:00 Not what you're expecting. There's some pictures of the props on Flickr and a behind the scenes time-lapse video here.
Tonya Harding Fantasies
2009-11-05 05:36:00 Caution: Reading further may cause you to lose all faith in mankind. Especially the man kind of mankind. (Please) don't ask me how I came upon the official Tonya Harding website. I just did, alright? I was, of course, skeptical at first that the legendary T-Hard would have such a lackluster representation on the internets but there's a video right on the front page, thanking you for your support and visiting this, her official website. Can't argue with science. Then I noticed an innocuous little link, titled "Fantasy." Oh yes. They say it better than I ever could - "There are 1581 fantasy stories and messages, and they're all about Tonya Harding." In other words, Tonya Harding erotic fan fiction! Just when I thought I had won at the internet, I realize there's yet another link for "Rejected Fantasies." Sweet baby Jesus. This is like Yahoo Answers meets Literotica. Some fine excepts include: "this is so great i love it i wish i could watc...
Right In the Goddamned Penis
2009-11-03 18:12:00 There are times when I fear somebody out there's going to revoke my License to Photoshop . More About: Penis
Taco Jason
2009-10-30 23:34:00 There is so much personal win in this picture. Taco Jason is my new Santa Claus.
The Eyeballing Game
2009-10-15 23:52:00 Some people are bothered by pictures on the wall hanging slightly crooked. Others may not even be aware that something may be amiss. Others are just obsessed OCD freaks. Like ME! I found this simple Flash game, The Eyeballing Game , and haven't been able to stop playing. Follow the instructions for each screen, estimating where certain points should fall. Play three rounds to see your average score then compare scores against others in real time. See if you can beat my scores...
Vampire Weekend - Oxford Comma
2009-10-06 16:11:00 Reasons why I love this video... It's a great song. I used to drive a very similar car. Cows! More About: Oxford , Weekend , Vampire
Chicago(ish) Tweetup
2009-09-29 22:18:00 So I went to the Chicago (ish) Tweetup last Saturday and it was AWESOME. Tater tots, cookies, alcohol and tons of hilarious people from the internets. Kissed and hugged some old friends and met some new ones. There's a ton of pics from the event in the Flickr pool. I however, didn't think to take one single picture. Instead, I've hijacked the existing pictures and Photoshop'd them to reflect what I remember happening. More About: Twitter
I Think I Know
2009-09-22 17:38:00 I've just come up with a brilliant new scenario. "Guy" gets into a situation and has to lie to Girl. Things get complicated. The lie balloons out of control as Guy has to improvise new details to fit his lie. We'll call Guy's lie "Story B" which has been fabricated to cover up "Story A" which is the truth. Got me so far? So then Girl realizes something's amiss and utters the pivotal words.... "I think I know what's going on here." "You do?" asks Guy. Girl then proceeds to explain the whole situation, using all of the information she's been given. But here's the hilarious part - It's neither Story A nor Story B! Girl has put together all of the lies and fabricated a whole new version of what's really going on! Story C! "Yes! That... is.... what's going on" says Guy. Hilarity ensues, Girl finds out true story, wags finger and there is implied sex. Now to find a sitcom who'll purchase this brilliant new plot device.
Jedi Prez
2009-09-17 00:02:00 My President is a Jedi . Your country is invalid. Link to full size pic. More About: Prez
Mad Men in 60 Seconds
2009-09-09 21:18:00 Ok, I'll admit it. I don't watch TV's Mad Men. I've tried! I watch whole episodes at a time and just can't get interested. There's obviously something wrong with me, judging by how many people constantly recommend it. I was feeling rejected and guilty until I found the video below... Now I get it! I love this show!
Morticia1963 Keeps Threatening Me
2009-08-31 23:12:00 Here's a fun time-line: Back in Oct of '08, I wrote a post called Flickr + Google = Naughty detailing some weird, naughty behavior from Google's search results. Essentially, the results for "Flickr" came up with a sub-menu with the word "Search" linking to a Flickr search for "upskirt". The first comment questioned my love of porn. I responded by pointing out that there is a stark difference between porn and Flickr porn. For an example, I linked to a picture by Morticia1963 who's pictures were included in the aforementioned "upskirt" search. Skip ahead to Aug '09 (yesterday) and I receive this message through Flickr... "I have today sent a notice to flickr with regard your link to a photo in my stream on a blogging site. I want this any links removed to anything from my stream as all the photos are not to be used without my express permission and as you will never gain this I want it to be removed or I will take further action."...
Smoking Dummy Caption Contest
2009-08-27 14:49:00 Sometimes my I feel like my Thursday Caption Contest s should come with the extra explanation that "this is a real live person, people". Have at it, kids... More About: Smoking
Buy This Book of Wit
2009-08-25 16:34:00 Time for some shameless self promotion. Kind of. Today is the official release date of Twitter Wit: Brilliance in 140 Characters or Less, edited by your friend and mine, Nick Douglas. From the Amazon listing... "Twitter Wit is the first ever compilation of Twitter aphorisms and witticisms, celebrating a medium that has enabled millions of users to broadcast their lives and quips within Twitter's 140-character limit, thus reinventing wordplay in the tradition of Dorothy Parker and Oscar Wilde. This collection includes hundreds of the most memorable and hilarious tweets to date, demonstrating that inside every moment is a joke waiting to be written." Below is a list of reasons to purchase the book immediately without any of your usual whining or procrastination... I'M IN IT, BITCHES. (my fame is now verifiable) Help support the wit of hundreds of struggling humorists. Use this link to purchase from Amazon and a portion of the sale will go to Team Lu... More About: Book
Body-Suit Caption Contest
2009-08-13 15:06:00 I considered calling this "The Longer You Look At It, The Creepier It Gets Caption Contest " but that's way too many words to type. It's Thursday, you know what to do. Have at it, kids... More About: Body
PowerPoint Drinking Game
2009-08-11 19:54:00 What good are the many pleasures of alcohol if they can not serve to relieve the tedium of a PowerPoint presentation? The Booze The most difficult part of any office drinking game is consuming alcohol without raising suspicion. If you have an opaque container, your choice of beverage is unlimited. If you've got a clear water bottle, vodka, (strained) Goldschlager or Everclear will work. If you're limited to a coffee mug, add a little coffee to a hard liquor of your choosing to pull off a convincing look. Always remember: Kahlua is for pussies. Technical Difficulties (1 drink) Players drink at the first signs of any type of technical snafu, including but not limited to... Screen saver kicks on. Any error message (BSOD = finish your drink. You've now got time to go get a fresh one). "How is it that our conference room doesn't have ANY electric outlets??" Bullet Points (1 drink) Every slide containing bullet points gets you one step closer ... More About: Drinking , Game , Powerpoint
Star Wars: Retold
2009-08-10 23:26:00 Amanda had never seen a whole Star Wars film. When asked if she wanted to watch the original trilogy she said that she would, but that she already knew what happens.
McCain Whatted This Message??
2008-06-10 13:40:00 John McCain's new ad is an offensive, expletive-filled tirade. I don't see how this is supposed to build support for him and honestly I don't even know what the hell he's talking about in the video below. He did WHAT to the message?? Ok, I might have done some alterations but only with the best of intentions - otherwise no one would have intentionally watched this lame ad. More About: Message
Creationist Vocabulary Cards
2008-06-06 13:42:00 One year ago on GorillaSushi... When You Care Enough to Hit Send An easy post about SomeEcards that was picked up by the Rojo blog (before Rojo went dark for a few weeks and lost all of it's users) [read more] 100 Words You Should Know The American Heritage dictionaries compiled a list of 100 words they recommended every high school graduate should know. Have you used " loquacious" or " circumlocution" today? [read more] Anti-Science Museum Preview The first pictures from the Creation Museum in Kentucky started on show up on Flickr [read more] Friday GorillaSushi Recommended Links: Play Pong online for free...Choose Your Own Adventure Style! [via /Ninja] I HATE sandcastles [pic] Quit Coddling Your Kids - a great article about letting your kids be kids [via my wife] Creepiest Hamburger ever [pic] GOBAMA! [pic] Great new Lincoln ad [short video] Luchador family portrait [pic] Sex In The City movie rev... More About: Creationist , Vocabulary , Cards
Donald's Keeping You Down Caption Contest
2008-06-05 13:31:00 Today must be a very special day because you not only get your regularly scheduled Thursday Caption Contest but you also get a new edition of The Carnival of Capshuns! Who's excited? You are! Yes, you are an excited little munchkin aren't you! Who's daddy's excited little munchkin? [via Monkeys for Helping] Have at it, kids and when your done, come back up here and check out these other fantabulous caption contests! Welcome to the June 5, 2008 edition of carnival of captions. Static presents Caption This Little Piece of Gorillasushi posted at Krapsody - The place to find out of the ordinary humor., saying, "Good times... good times." Melissa presents My Inaugural Caption This Contest posted at This Is Mayjah. Howard Bannister presents Spectacular Self-Indulgence: caption contest posted at Spectacular Self-Indulgence. Allen in Fort Worth presents Caption This posted at The Whited Sepulchre, saying, "I promise that no Photoshopping was...
The Strange To The Rescue
2008-06-04 13:43:00 Personal life, job decisions and the world in general have got my brain spinning. It's one of those mornings where I find myself trying desperately to scrape something interesting from the back rooms of my tired brain. Instead of trying to barf up some semi-creative nonsense, I give you the strangest video on the internet. Seen a video that you would consider stranger? More About: Strange , Rescue
Pascal Moehlmann - Idiots and Weapons
2008-06-03 13:25:00 This morning I was responding to some comments on yesterdays post and, as it sometimes does, the topic turned to Fight Club. Shortly after I came upon the website of Pascal Moehlmann. There's a minimum of information on his site other than that he lives in Zurich and has had a number of exhibitions throughout the Netherlands, including his most recent "Gallery of Idiots " and "Choose Your Weapon". I felt a connection between the imagery of Fight Club and Moehlmann's painting in the casual violence and general tone. The Gallery of Idiots is a collection of portraits of Zurich locals all painted in an hour while the subjects contort their faces in agony. The Choose Your Weapon series features portraits of a number of weapons, some common such as a chain-saw, scissors or a shovel, some tending toward the clever and unusual such as blow-dryer, pills and "pussy". More About: Weapons
Burn After Reading Trailer
2008-06-02 13:06:00 A dark spy-comedy from Academy Award winners Joel and Ethan Coen. An ousted CIA official's (Academy Award nominee John Malkovich) memoir accidentally falls into the hands of two unwise gym employees intent on exploiting their find. I secretly love Brad Pitt movies. More About: Reading , Trailer , Burn After Reading , Burn
Silverman '08
2008-05-30 13:41:00 One year ago on GorillaSushi.com... Presidential Alternatives Some of the best unknown presidential candidates for '08. THIS POST IS AWESOME - read it! Another one that goes in the "seriously underrated" category. Be sure and play the song at the beginning for an appropriate soundtrack [read more] I Love Sarah Silverman I do love her but not as much as the internet thinks I do. Second most popular post ever with over 52,000 reads. Why so popular? It used to be the #1 result for Google image searches for "Sarah Silverman" and "Sarah Silverman naked". Not so much since I added the creative word bubble but it's a fair trade-off for all of the image-stealers who are now serving up some free advertising for me. [read more] GorillaSushi Friday Recommended Links: A rant against Mormons turns into a door-to-door atheist conversion trip in Utah - AWESOME Picture of a suicide jumper splattered on the ground and onlookers' reactions Subli...
Carnival of Captions 5-29-08
2008-05-29 13:35:00 You're looking for the Thursday Caption Contest? Well, you're in luck! Instead of the normal picture posted here, you'll find three pictures to caption below! Click and caption away - some even have prizes! If you're interested in participating in the next Carnival of Captions, see below for info... Welcome to the May 29, 2008 (the very first!) edition of carnival of captions. Wendy Piersall presents OMG. Youz Seriusly Funneh Peeps. posted at Sparkplug CEO, - a LOLCat Caption Contest with the prize of of Darren Rowse’s and Chris Garrett’s new book ProBlogger, "Secrets to Blogging Your Way to a Six Figure Income" Howard Bannister presents Carnival of captions contest posted at Spectacular Self-Indulgence - a slightly creepy Hillary Clinton picture for your captioning pleasures. crpitt presents Caption This! posted at A little piece of me, - a llama themed caption contest with the prize of "A personal doodle by me, a nice post with said doodle ...
A Very Special Blossom
More articles from this author:2008-05-28 13:20:00 I've wrestled with the wording for this post all morning. I guess, I'll just lay out the plain old truth: Something reminded me of TV's Blossom (probably some Joey Lawrence reference) and then my train of thought derailed, plunged down a mountainside, crashed through a preschool day-camp and exploded on the front steps of some Utah pedo-cult. My thought train does that some time. So I ended up Photoshopping this... I don't know about you guys but I think it's freakin' hilarious. If you don't get it, go back to the early 90's and do not collect $200. More About: Special 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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