GorillaSushi GorillaSushi GorillaSushi is a band of eclectic bloggers writing on every imaginable subject. As many blogs gain attention for their narrow focus, we pride ourselves in our broad subject matter. Satire, movie reviews, trailers, humor, politics, technology and cul 
Articles
I Think I Know
2009-09-22 17:38:00 I've just come up with a brilliant new scenario. "Guy" gets into a situation and has to lie to Girl. Things get complicated. The lie balloons out of control as Guy has to improvise new details to fit his lie. We'll call Guy's lie "Story B" which has been fabricated to cover up "Story A" which is the truth. Got me so far? So then Girl realizes something's amiss and utters the pivotal words.... "I think I know what's going on here." "You do?" asks Guy. Girl then proceeds to explain the whole situation, using all of the information she's been given. But here's the hilarious part - It's neither Story A nor Story B! Girl has put together all of the lies and fabricated a whole new version of what's really going on! Story C! "Yes! That... is.... what's going on" says Guy. Hilarity ensues, Girl finds out true story, wags finger and there is implied sex. Now to find a sitcom who'll purchase this brilliant new plot device.
Jedi Prez
2009-09-17 00:02:00 My President is a Jedi . Your country is invalid. Link to full size pic. More About: Prez
Mad Men in 60 Seconds
2009-09-09 21:18:00 Ok, I'll admit it. I don't watch TV's Mad Men. I've tried! I watch whole episodes at a time and just can't get interested. There's obviously something wrong with me, judging by how many people constantly recommend it. I was feeling rejected and guilty until I found the video below... Now I get it! I love this show!
Morticia1963 Keeps Threatening Me
2009-08-31 23:12:00 Here's a fun time-line: Back in Oct of '08, I wrote a post called Flickr + Google = Naughty detailing some weird, naughty behavior from Google's search results. Essentially, the results for "Flickr" came up with a sub-menu with the word "Search" linking to a Flickr search for "upskirt". The first comment questioned my love of porn. I responded by pointing out that there is a stark difference between porn and Flickr porn. For an example, I linked to a picture by Morticia1963 who's pictures were included in the aforementioned "upskirt" search. Skip ahead to Aug '09 (yesterday) and I receive this message through Flickr... "I have today sent a notice to flickr with regard your link to a photo in my stream on a blogging site. I want this any links removed to anything from my stream as all the photos are not to be used without my express permission and as you will never gain this I want it to be removed or I will take further action."...
Smoking Dummy Caption Contest
2009-08-27 14:49:00 Sometimes my I feel like my Thursday Caption Contest s should come with the extra explanation that "this is a real live person, people". Have at it, kids... More About: Smoking
Buy This Book of Wit
2009-08-25 16:34:00 Time for some shameless self promotion. Kind of. Today is the official release date of Twitter Wit: Brilliance in 140 Characters or Less, edited by your friend and mine, Nick Douglas. From the Amazon listing... "Twitter Wit is the first ever compilation of Twitter aphorisms and witticisms, celebrating a medium that has enabled millions of users to broadcast their lives and quips within Twitter's 140-character limit, thus reinventing wordplay in the tradition of Dorothy Parker and Oscar Wilde. This collection includes hundreds of the most memorable and hilarious tweets to date, demonstrating that inside every moment is a joke waiting to be written." Below is a list of reasons to purchase the book immediately without any of your usual whining or procrastination... I'M IN IT, BITCHES. (my fame is now verifiable) Help support the wit of hundreds of struggling humorists. Use this link to purchase from Amazon and a portion of the sale will go to Team Lu... More About: Book
Body-Suit Caption Contest
2009-08-13 15:06:00 I considered calling this "The Longer You Look At It, The Creepier It Gets Caption Contest " but that's way too many words to type. It's Thursday, you know what to do. Have at it, kids... More About: Body
PowerPoint Drinking Game
2009-08-11 19:54:00 What good are the many pleasures of alcohol if they can not serve to relieve the tedium of a PowerPoint presentation? The Booze The most difficult part of any office drinking game is consuming alcohol without raising suspicion. If you have an opaque container, your choice of beverage is unlimited. If you've got a clear water bottle, vodka, (strained) Goldschlager or Everclear will work. If you're limited to a coffee mug, add a little coffee to a hard liquor of your choosing to pull off a convincing look. Always remember: Kahlua is for pussies. Technical Difficulties (1 drink) Players drink at the first signs of any type of technical snafu, including but not limited to... Screen saver kicks on. Any error message (BSOD = finish your drink. You've now got time to go get a fresh one). "How is it that our conference room doesn't have ANY electric outlets??" Bullet Points (1 drink) Every slide containing bullet points gets you one step closer ... More About: Drinking , Game , Powerpoint
Star Wars: Retold
2009-08-10 23:26:00 Amanda had never seen a whole Star Wars film. When asked if she wanted to watch the original trilogy she said that she would, but that she already knew what happens.
McCain Whatted This Message??
2008-06-10 13:40:00 John McCain's new ad is an offensive, expletive-filled tirade. I don't see how this is supposed to build support for him and honestly I don't even know what the hell he's talking about in the video below. He did WHAT to the message?? Ok, I might have done some alterations but only with the best of intentions - otherwise no one would have intentionally watched this lame ad. More About: Message
Creationist Vocabulary Cards
2008-06-06 13:42:00 One year ago on GorillaSushi... When You Care Enough to Hit Send An easy post about SomeEcards that was picked up by the Rojo blog (before Rojo went dark for a few weeks and lost all of it's users) [read more] 100 Words You Should Know The American Heritage dictionaries compiled a list of 100 words they recommended every high school graduate should know. Have you used " loquacious" or " circumlocution" today? [read more] Anti-Science Museum Preview The first pictures from the Creation Museum in Kentucky started on show up on Flickr [read more] Friday GorillaSushi Recommended Links: Play Pong online for free...Choose Your Own Adventure Style! [via /Ninja] I HATE sandcastles [pic] Quit Coddling Your Kids - a great article about letting your kids be kids [via my wife] Creepiest Hamburger ever [pic] GOBAMA! [pic] Great new Lincoln ad [short video] Luchador family portrait [pic] Sex In The City movie rev... More About: Creationist , Vocabulary , Cards
Donald's Keeping You Down Caption Contest
2008-06-05 13:31:00 Today must be a very special day because you not only get your regularly scheduled Thursday Caption Contest but you also get a new edition of The Carnival of Capshuns! Who's excited? You are! Yes, you are an excited little munchkin aren't you! Who's daddy's excited little munchkin? [via Monkeys for Helping] Have at it, kids and when your done, come back up here and check out these other fantabulous caption contests! Welcome to the June 5, 2008 edition of carnival of captions. Static presents Caption This Little Piece of Gorillasushi posted at Krapsody - The place to find out of the ordinary humor., saying, "Good times... good times." Melissa presents My Inaugural Caption This Contest posted at This Is Mayjah. Howard Bannister presents Spectacular Self-Indulgence: caption contest posted at Spectacular Self-Indulgence. Allen in Fort Worth presents Caption This posted at The Whited Sepulchre, saying, "I promise that no Photoshopping was...
The Strange To The Rescue
2008-06-04 13:43:00 Personal life, job decisions and the world in general have got my brain spinning. It's one of those mornings where I find myself trying desperately to scrape something interesting from the back rooms of my tired brain. Instead of trying to barf up some semi-creative nonsense, I give you the strangest video on the internet. Seen a video that you would consider stranger? More About: Strange , Rescue
Pascal Moehlmann - Idiots and Weapons
2008-06-03 13:25:00 This morning I was responding to some comments on yesterdays post and, as it sometimes does, the topic turned to Fight Club. Shortly after I came upon the website of Pascal Moehlmann. There's a minimum of information on his site other than that he lives in Zurich and has had a number of exhibitions throughout the Netherlands, including his most recent "Gallery of Idiots " and "Choose Your Weapon". I felt a connection between the imagery of Fight Club and Moehlmann's painting in the casual violence and general tone. The Gallery of Idiots is a collection of portraits of Zurich locals all painted in an hour while the subjects contort their faces in agony. The Choose Your Weapon series features portraits of a number of weapons, some common such as a chain-saw, scissors or a shovel, some tending toward the clever and unusual such as blow-dryer, pills and "pussy". More About: Weapons
Burn After Reading Trailer
2008-06-02 13:06:00 A dark spy-comedy from Academy Award winners Joel and Ethan Coen. An ousted CIA official's (Academy Award nominee John Malkovich) memoir accidentally falls into the hands of two unwise gym employees intent on exploiting their find. I secretly love Brad Pitt movies. More About: Reading , Trailer , Burn After Reading , Burn
Silverman '08
2008-05-30 13:41:00 One year ago on GorillaSushi.com... Presidential Alternatives Some of the best unknown presidential candidates for '08. THIS POST IS AWESOME - read it! Another one that goes in the "seriously underrated" category. Be sure and play the song at the beginning for an appropriate soundtrack [read more] I Love Sarah Silverman I do love her but not as much as the internet thinks I do. Second most popular post ever with over 52,000 reads. Why so popular? It used to be the #1 result for Google image searches for "Sarah Silverman" and "Sarah Silverman naked". Not so much since I added the creative word bubble but it's a fair trade-off for all of the image-stealers who are now serving up some free advertising for me. [read more] GorillaSushi Friday Recommended Links: A rant against Mormons turns into a door-to-door atheist conversion trip in Utah - AWESOME Picture of a suicide jumper splattered on the ground and onlookers' reactions Subli...
Carnival of Captions 5-29-08
2008-05-29 13:35:00 You're looking for the Thursday Caption Contest? Well, you're in luck! Instead of the normal picture posted here, you'll find three pictures to caption below! Click and caption away - some even have prizes! If you're interested in participating in the next Carnival of Captions, see below for info... Welcome to the May 29, 2008 (the very first!) edition of carnival of captions. Wendy Piersall presents OMG. Youz Seriusly Funneh Peeps. posted at Sparkplug CEO, - a LOLCat Caption Contest with the prize of of Darren Rowse’s and Chris Garrett’s new book ProBlogger, "Secrets to Blogging Your Way to a Six Figure Income" Howard Bannister presents Carnival of captions contest posted at Spectacular Self-Indulgence - a slightly creepy Hillary Clinton picture for your captioning pleasures. crpitt presents Caption This! posted at A little piece of me, - a llama themed caption contest with the prize of "A personal doodle by me, a nice post with said doodle ...
A Very Special Blossom
2008-05-28 13:20:00 I've wrestled with the wording for this post all morning. I guess, I'll just lay out the plain old truth: Something reminded me of TV's Blossom (probably some Joey Lawrence reference) and then my train of thought derailed, plunged down a mountainside, crashed through a preschool day-camp and exploded on the front steps of some Utah pedo-cult. My thought train does that some time. So I ended up Photoshopping this... I don't know about you guys but I think it's freakin' hilarious. If you don't get it, go back to the early 90's and do not collect $200. More About: Special
Carnival of Captions
2008-05-27 12:43:00 Caption Contest Thursdays are the most commented on posts by far here on GorillaSushi.com. I've seen quite a few people try their own caption contest but because their readership was still on the smaller side (and/or other reasons), they didn't get much of a response and ended up scrapping the idea. In response to that (and because I think it would be fun) I'm starting a blog carnival for caption contests! Below I'll briefly cover over... How to set up your own caption contest What is a blog carnival How to join the carnival How to set up your own caption contest Your own caption contest should be reflective of your blog and its readers. There aren't too many tips I can give that would be universally perfect but here's a few general ideas. Picture: A good caption picture should have a subject that's open to interpretation. Avoid picking a subject that has one very obvious caption. Frequency: Weekly works well for me. Experiment. R... More About: Carnival
An Ode To ManBabies
2008-05-25 22:24:00 My new secret obsession is ManBabies.com (not to be confused with adult babies). The site is based wholly on the idea that swapping the heads of guys and babies is hilarious and creepy. And it is. As a tribute, I decided to do one of my own, using my own style/techniques but I became obsessed and did three instead. Hey, where's my afternoon go? I can't decide which is my favorite... More About: Photoshop
PacMan Jesus
2008-05-23 13:36:00 One year ago on GorillaSushi... Jesus Inspires Possibly the very root of the Thursday Caption Contests, this post gives you the opportunity to add 12 of your very own captions (although nobody beats mine) [read more] PacMan Skull Sculpture Ug. I love/hate this post. I wrote a little article about a cool sculpture that I saw and it caught fire. This was the first post I ever had to get really popular really fast. It's still the 7th most popular post ever so if you're a stalker GorillaSushi enthusiast then make sure not to miss it. [read more] p.s. Anyone ever looking to me for tips on how to increase readership and traffic should note this: The above linked post which was my first big spike in traffic...it was the 396th post here on GorillaSushi. So I guess persistence is the best advice I could give. What Is It? Click, look at the picture and DON'T SCROLL DOWN! Guess what the clever answer is? The answer is at the end of the post. [read more] ... More About: Pacman
Super Something Caption Contest
2008-05-22 13:08:00 As with every Thursday, today is Caption Contest Day... Have at it, kids... More About: Super
Snuff Porn Trailers
2008-05-21 13:47:00 Yes, I realize that this post's title could be wildly misinterpreted. Hello Google-creeps. Chuck Palahniuk - author of cult classics like "Fight Club" and "Lullaby" - has a new book coming out called Snuff. For those like me who are illiterate yet movie-obsessed, yes, that Fight Club. "Snuff" is the story of veteran pornstar Cassie Wright, who hopes to end her career with a big bang. A 600-person gangbang to be specific. How and why she accomplishes this, you'll have to read the book to discover, but the online advertising help us to imagine what Cassie's career might have looked like in the real world... The Twilight Bone Chitty Chitty Gang Bang The Wizard of Ass More About: Trailers
McCain - Wait, What?
2008-05-20 13:31:00 I could write for days about John McCain and his contradictions but I'm freakin' busy this week so I'll let the Senator speak for himself... Brought to you by The Real McCain.com This November...Don't Vote Senile! More About: Wait
Homey Shots
2008-05-19 13:17:00 We all know that I've got the mad interior decoration skillz (see how I make it sound so not queer?). Case In point - my dining room, which is nearly finished... The last few days have been crazy in the home decor/construction department. We're having contractors in for the next week and a half to frame and drywall our basement and in preparation I wanted to paint the ceiling of half of the basement black. I rented a paint sprayer from Home Despotism and got 5 gallons of matte black paint. It was an all day event but was so worth it... RUN E.T., RUN!! More About: Shots
A Most Fantastic Video
2008-05-18 01:29:00 Sure, I always claim that my most recent video find is the best one ever. But this one is...for real. Traditional animation is created by making a series of drawings, each slightly different than the last and then photographing them, showing the sequential photographs in quick succession produces the illusion of movement. Now apply that concept to graffiti. The Italian artist, Blu "spent the winter working on some animations" in Buenos Aires. Figures are painted on the wall, photographed, painted over and then a new, slightly different figure is painted on the wall. Repeat. There isn't much info available on this video but I know that the average animation speed is 25 frames per second. This video is 7 minutes and 26 seconds which translates to 11,150 paintings. The scope of this art is absolutely mind-boggling. [via Made In Mundo] More About: Video
Porn Magazine Necropolis
2008-05-16 13:46:00 One year ago on GorillaSushi... Bachelor's Grove A pictorial exploration of an abandoned cemetery "A small marker bears the inscription “Infant Daughter” and no matter what time of year you visit, it is always surrounded by dolls, toys and other small trinkets." [read more] It's More Likely Than You Think One picture. Cracks me up every time. [read more] Magazine Meme One of the few times I've ever done a meme without being a complete jerk. Done in conjunction with former co-blogger Jules! [read more] The Facts About Internet Porn A somewhat NSFW video [salivate more] Friday GorillaSushi Recommended Links: Natalie Portman Getting Pee’d On Why does Cory Doctorow give away his books? Excellent response on copyrighting, sharing and the future of media (via WFFrederick) If You Aren’t Using Firefox Smart Keywords, You Aren’t Smart (Or A Keyword) Stewie’s Domination Serum (pic) Things Younge...
Evil Nephew Caption Contest
2008-05-15 13:33:00 As with every Thursday, today brings the promise of yet another Caption Contest . I love this pic because at first glance it seems harmless but the more you look at it, the more disturbing it becomes (just like Betty White)... [via Skirmisher] ; Oh, and a reminder: Only 15 days left to get all of your possible entries in for the May $100 give-away! Have at it, kids... More About: Evil , Funeral
Two Legs At A Time
2008-05-14 13:52:00 I was browsing through Yahoo! Answers (aka cesspool of the ignorant) and found this nifty yet pointless question... Ok, so it's not so horrible. In fact, it inspired some semi-awesome answers like... yes, I'm too fat to put them on any other way. Pants? Who wears pants anymore. [your step-dad wrote this one] If you put both legs on at once you either need to be sitting down or levitating off the ground. [answers Stephen Hawking] yes i do ,but it because i have to [a life ruled by pants] If only these knuckleheads knew how to search for their own answers. For example here's the awesomest video of putting on pants you'll ever see... F'n' sweet, right? Anyone else feel like starting an extreme pants-putting-on club right now? The first rule of the extreme pants-putting-on club is you do not talk about the extreme pants-putting-on club. Nice. More About: Time , Legs
Jimmy Corduroy Explains It All
More articles from this author:2008-05-13 14:02:00 Check out my awesomeness. A bunch of days ago some douche-bags just like you asked me to grant their life-long wishes and answer their lame questions. I normally don't do this kind of stuff seeing as I'm always busy with my job, taste testing martinis, working on my car, fending off the ladies and I've even started a small escort business. But since all of the questions were asked by the loveliest ladies of the internet, I feel obligated to enlighten. Mayjah asks: "Do blondes really have more fun?" There's evidences supporting both sides of this philosophical debate. Sure, blonds get sun-burned more often and have a higher rate of skin cancer but they also seem to get drunk faster and are often referred to as "the master race". Pretty cool right? I suppose you should specify if we're talking about all blonds or just the ones who's carpet matches the curtains. For the final word on whether or not blonds have fun, le... More About: Jimmy 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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