Dirty Little Secret

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Lost
2008-03-10 03:34:00
We lost our internet connection last night. And our cable. And our phone. (bad, evil, windstorm) I am very proud of myself, because I did not cry. (although if we had lost all power, I’m pretty sure I would have) Anyway, I am WAY behind in internet land. (because an exciting Saturday night for me is reading ...
More About: Lost

I Hate Baby Showers
2008-03-08 19:06:00
I hate baby showers. I don’t like bridal showers either, unless they are coed and involve cocktails. I haven’t been to that many showers (could it be my attitude?) , but I feel like I’ve been to thousands. It’s not the gifts or the registries that bother me, it’s the conversations as everyone discusses each onesie or toaster oven. How many different ways can each person say, “Cute!” or “So practical!” And then there are the games. I like party games that involve drinking, not creative uses for toilet paper. I hated my own showers more than anything. Then I had to be the FIRST one to come up with an appropriate and original comment for each gift. And I couldn’t even go do a shot in the kitchen (I only did that at one shower, I swear). Well,I did like one of the showers I had. Because it wasn’t like a regular shower. My friend Mimi asked me what I wanted and I told her that I wanted her to invite people over to her ho...
More About: Baby , Hate , Showers

Haiku Friday - The Park!!!!!!!!!!
2008-03-08 02:02:00
We went to the park we went to the park today oh it’s been so long Though it broke my heart two mean girls hurt my oldest with words, but still sad Grandma didn’t care Ironflower over it played with Lovebug I was really mad gave my teacher-meany glare feeling better now I can’t wait for spring park every single day okay, not in rain
More About: Haiku , Park , Friday

Take It Back Now, Y’All
2008-03-07 01:02:00
In a (lame) attempt to broaden my children’s musical horizons, we have been listening to the “Music Choice” channels provided by Cablevision. We’ve discovered that the whole family mellows out while listening to the swing channel and that Daddy can’t stand disco. Hubby actually eschews all things bubblegum, so I made sure he wasn’t home when we checked out the “For Kidz Only” music channel. Apparently all kids are actually tweens, because every song sounded like (or actually was) Hannah Montana and High School Musical. Just as I was about to turn to the ’80’s channel (because my kids - thankfully - don’t care about Hannah Montana yet), I heard something familiar. I had to double check and make sure that I hadn’t already switched the channel. But no, those were the dulcet tones of the “Cha Cha Slide” on the kids’ music channel. I think the first time I heard the “Cha Cha Slide” was...
More About: Back

Top Ten Reasons Why This Post Sucks
2008-03-05 18:31:00
1. It has no point or theme. 2. It is being typed by someone who’s had three hours of sleep. 3. It is not my originally planned rant against people who get their children’s school photos retouched. 4. It is being written by someone who lost the plot of Dora the Explorer this morning. Seriously. 5. It does not make fun of Paris Hilton’s newest accessory, a spiritual guru. 6. It is being created between coughing fits. 7. It does not bitch about the mere existence of this site. 8. It is so lame it actually only has eight reasons.
More About: Post , Reasons , Sucks

Should I Mail This?
2008-03-04 16:27:00
Dear cell-phone provider, It has come to my attention that you really suck. If you feel that this assessment is in error, please address the following questions: 1 . If you can take my credit card information to pay bills over the phone, why can’t you take other information over the phone? Why did I have to go to your store to change my address? Because as far as security reasons go, I’d much rather random strangers had my address than my credit card number. 2. How come when you text me my billing information it always comes through but other people’s texts can be delayed for days? 3. Why are there certain completely random places where your phones don’t work, but other companies’ phones do? 4. Why did you change the definition of anytime minutes after I signed up for your plan? Please remit your answers in the accompanying envelope. If you do not take care of these issues by March 8th, we will have no alternative but to terminate your contract and fin...
More About: Mail

Embracing My Inner (Outer?) Domestic Dorkiness
2008-02-19 19:29:00
Clearly it’s time for me to get some high-powered executive type job (never mind that I can’t even get a teaching job around here, surely I can get an executive position I’m not qualified for) and hire a cleaning lady. Or a cleaning man. Whatever- I’m not sexist. It’s just that the whole stay-at-home mom ...
More About: Domestic

People Have Died For the Right To Vote, You Know
2008-02-18 16:37:00
They have fought in wars. They have been in dangerous protests. They have lobbied Congress. They have walked for miles without stopping. All for the right to vote. A lot of us don’t appreciate our right to vote anymore. We might think of it as a chore, even. But voting in the Haiku Buckaroo contest is ...
More About: People , Vote , Died

Soap Opera Sunday - College Three
2008-02-17 17:09:00
Part One is here. Part Two is here. I wasn’t sure what to think of the date. Did not kissing me mean that he wasn’t attracted to me? But why drive two hours to go on a date with someone you don’t find attractive? Or maybe he realized on the date that he didn’t find ...
More About: College , Opera , Sunday , Soap

Haiku Friday - Noggin
2008-02-15 17:27:00
Noggin, my good friend Makes the winter bearable But Oobi is creepy Pinky Dinky Doo story structure, character vocabulary The Backyardigans Imagination, friendship geography too! Noggin makes me smile “From White Castle to the Nile” Get the reference?
More About: Haiku , Friday

Happy Valentine?s Day
2008-02-14 16:39:00
I could write a long, heartfelt post about Hubby today. I could. Because Hubby, aka “Hot Guy” from Soap Opera Sunday, is pretty fantastic. But we don’t really do Valentine ’s Day. So then I thought, if not love, how about lust? Here are some men I lust after (besides Hot Guy, of course): Ben Affleck. I ...
More About: Happy

I Got D?Issues*
2008-02-09 17:14:00
I suck at email. Unless it’s something that I can answer in one sentence or less, it can take me weeks to reply to an email. Last night I got this long apologetic email from L., an acquaintance that I’m hoping becomes a friend. She is one of the few people I’ve met lately that ...
More About: Issues

Haiku Friday - Haiku Buckaroo Edition
2008-02-08 16:56:00
Yes, it’s Haiku Friday . But you know what else it is? It’s the Haiku Buckaroo Contest at My Mommy’s Place. That means you - or, I hope, me - can win fabulous prizes for writing haiku. PRIZES, people. And for those of you afraid to write haiku? (Don’t worry, everyone’s afraid of something.) You ...
More About: Edition

You?re My Friend, Right?
2008-02-07 17:58:00
I am a member of Meetup.com. It is how I found my mom’s group and my book group - it is basically the source of my entire social life. And though I’ve met some great people through those meetups, I’m still searching for the PERFECT meetup. The one that’s called, “Sarcastic Moms who like to ...
More About: Friend

Is It Just Me?
2008-02-06 16:00:00
Does anyone else ever go to sleep thinking, “Tomorrow is the day I’m going to pull myself together and get the house spotless, do five amazing activities with the children, exercise and finish that reading article I’ve been working on”? And then wake up to find that you’ve overslept and possibly have a stomach virus? Me ...

Wow, That Was Fun
2008-02-05 16:34:00
I stole this idea from the fabulous Swistle, who copied it from And You Know What Else. I know she got it from someone else and that I could keep linking back, but if you really want to know where it all started you should just keep linking back until you get there. Because I’m ...

GIANTS!
2008-02-04 16:35:00
When I was growing up in New Jersey, I was a lackluster Giants fan. As a family we were way more into college football so I never paid much attention to the NFL. But if you’d asked me, I would have said I was a Giants fan (NEVER the Jets). I didn’t really become interested ...
More About: Super Bowl

I Love The Crazy Lady
2008-02-02 17:07:00
OMG, there’s an official crazy lady in Stuck-Up. You’d think after living here for nearly 11 months that I would have discovered the crazy lady already, but apparently not. Last night was the first time I’ve had the pleasure. Of course, I would say that there are tons of unofficially crazy people in Stuck-Up - ...
More About: Love , Crazy , Lady

I Am A Blogging Goddess
2008-02-02 01:49:00
Er, not trying to be conceited or anything (as shown by my modest title) but I got ANOTHER award. Jill at Caffeine Court gave me this award for this post. If you haven’t discovered Jill yet, you should check out her blog. She’s really funny and she obviously has great taste (except for wearing ...
More About: Blogging , Goddess