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pigassus.com

pigassus.com
a collection of humorous and clever quotations,poems,jokes,video clips and pics

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Ayn Rand - Money
2008-03-31 12:32:00
Money is your means of survival. The verdict you pronounce upon the source of your livelihood is the verdict you pronounce upon your life . If the source is corrupt , you have damned your own existence . Did you get your money by fraud ? By pandering to men’s vices or men’s stupidity ? By catering to fools , in the hope of getting more than your ability deserves ? By lowering your standards ? By doing work you despise for purchasers your scorn ? (more…)
More About: Ayn Rand

George Carlin - Playing With Words
2008-03-18 07:34:00
Picture your grandma in hell , making a pie without an oven . Parents = Obsessive Diaper Sniffers . Bullshit is the glue that binds us together as a nation . Technorati Tags: George Carlin,outstanding comedian,priceless humor
More About: Words , George Carlin

Kobayashi Issa - This World
2008-03-17 23:47:00
In this world we walk on the roof of hell , gazing at flowers . Technorati Tags: kobayashi issa,haiku poem
More About: World , Kobayashi

Mark Twain - Political Humor
2008-03-17 06:49:00
Suppose you were an idiot . And suppose you were a member of Congress . But I repeat myself .
More About: Humor , Political , Mark Twain , Mark

Cyanide & Happiness - Funny Video
2008-03-17 04:38:00
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
More About: Video , Funny , Funny Video , Cyanide

15 Euphemisms For Masturbation
2008-03-15 22:28:00
1.Slapping Johnny on the back . 2.Fastening the chin strap on the helmet of love . 3.Making the bald man cry . 4.Rubbing Buddha’s tummy . 5.Squeezing the happy lumberjack . 6.Playing the single-string air guitar . 7.Greasing up the three-legged cow . 8.Aiding and abetting a known felon . 9.Saluting the general . 10.Dancing with the one eyed sailor . 11.Making chowder for sailor Ned . 12.Sailing the mayonnaise seas . 13.Spanking the rooster . 14.Unleashing the alabaster yak . 15.Opening the flood gates . Technorati Tags: priceless list,twisted humor
More About: Masturbation

Saggy Tits
2008-03-14 21:35:00
What did one saggy tit say to the other ? If we don’t get some support soon , people will think we are nuts . Technorati Tags: naughty joke,twisted humor
More About: Tits

Langston Hughes - I , Too , Sing America
2008-03-14 21:29:00
They send me to eat in the kitchen When company comes But I laugh , And eat well , And grow strong . Tomorrrow , I’ll be at the table When company comes . Nobody’ll dare Say to me , “Eat in the kitchen ,” Then . Besides , They’ll see how beautiful I am And be ashamed . I , too , am America . Technorati Tags: langston hughes poem
More About: Sing , Hughes

Swimming
2008-03-09 11:17:00
A bunch of sperms were swimming side by side . One of them says , “Did we reach the egg yet ?” Another replied , “No stupid ,we’re stuck in her throat , keep swimming !” Technorati Tags: naughty joke,humor
More About: Swimming

Henry Mencken - Religion Belief
2008-03-08 07:06:00
We must respect the other fellow’s religion , but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children are smart . photo credit: kaibara87 Technorati Tags: henry mencken quote
More About: Religion , Henry , Belief

Walt Whitman - A Child Said , What Is The Grass ?
2008-03-06 08:40:00
…What do you think has become of the young and old man ? What do you think has become of the women and children ? They are alive and well somewhere ; The smallest sprouts show there is really no death , And if ever there was it led forward life , and does not wait at the end to arrest it , And ceased the moment life appeared . All goes onward and outward … and nothing collapses , And to die is different from what any one supposed , and luckier . Technorati Tags: walt whitman,american poetry
More About: Child , Grass

Vincent Van Gogh - Self-Portrait With Bandaged Ear
2008-03-05 05:50:00
Technorati Tags: vincent van gogh painting,art
More About: Portrait , Self Portrait , Van Gogh , Vincent , Vincent van Gogh

Jim Morrison - Freedom
2008-03-03 00:52:00
The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are .You trade in your reality for a role . You give up your ability to feel and in exchange put on a mask . Technorati Tags: jim morrison quote
More About: Freedom , Jim Morrison

3 Tampons
2008-03-03 00:44:00
3 tampons are walking down the street : Mini , Maxi and Super Which one sais hello ? None , they’re all stuck up bitches ! photo credit: Looking Glass Technorati Tags: naughty joke,humor

Charles Bukowski - The Terror
2008-02-27 08:17:00
The terror is in viewing the human face and then hearing it talk and watching the creature move . the terror is in knowing its motives . the terror is in seeing it skinned , opened for the internal view of the spirit the terror is looking at the eyes . the terror is knowing of the centuries of its doings . the terror is the unchangeability of it . and its multiplicity , its duplicity , it’s everywhere , a giant mass of it … …this massive zero of life labeled Humanity . the terror , the horror , the waste of them and you and me through and through . Technorati Tags: charles bukowski,american poetry
More About: Terror , Charles , The Terror , Bukowski , Charles Bukowski

Mark Twain - Fear Of Death
2008-02-26 06:17:00
I do not fear death . I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it .
More About: Death , Fear , Mark Twain , Mark

10 Reasons Why Candidates For President Should Never Get Elected
2008-02-24 05:04:00
1 . Ambitious : eagerly desirious of obtaining power ,wealth , fame 2 . Big Bully : lie louder than others 3 . Conceited : having an excessively favorable opinion of their own abilities 4 . Dishonest : not worthy of trust or belief , they are politicians fot Christ’s sake 5 . Delusional :think they can make a difference 6 . Dangerous : Want to do things their own way 7 . Lack of Confidence : asking for everybody’s approval 8 . Narcisist : love to get all the attention 9 . Shallow : lacking in depth of knowledge , thought or feeling 10 . Crazy : have a defective function of mental processess such as reasoning . TechnoratiTags: funny list,political humor
More About: President , Candidates , Reasons

Kobayashi Issa - Don’t Know About People
2008-02-19 07:50:00
Approaching my village : Don’t know about people , but all the scarecrows are crooked . Technorati Tags: kobayashi issa,haiku poem
More About: People , Kobayashi

Medical Charts
2008-02-17 01:31:00
# Patient has two teenage children , but no other abnormalities . # The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed . # Discharge status : Alive , but without my permission . # The patient refused autopsy . # The patient has no previous history of suicides . # Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital . # She is numb from her toes down . # Occasional , constant , infrequent headaches . # I saw your patient today , who is still under our car for physical therapy . # Skin : somewhat pale but present . TechnoratiTags: funny medical charts
More About: Medical , Charts

Henry Miller - Happy
2008-02-16 01:45:00
I have no money , no resources , no hopes , I am the happiest man alive . TechnoratiTags: henry miller,american literature
More About: Henry , Happy , Miller

William Faulkner - The Reivers
2008-02-13 11:25:00
… There is the fable , Chinese I think , literary I am sure : of a period on earth when the dominant creatures were cats : who after ages of trying to cope with the anguishes of mortality - famine , plague , war , injustice ,folly , greed - in a word , civilised government - convened a congress of the wisest cat philosophers to see if anything could be done : who after long deliberation agreed that the dilemma , the problems themselves were insoluble and the only practical solution was to give it up , relinquish , abdicate , by selecting from among the lesser creatures a species , race optimistic enough to believe that the mortal predicament could be solved and ignorant enough never to learn better. Which is why the cat lives with you , is completely dependent on you for food and shelter but lifts no paw for you and loves you not ; in a word why your cat looks at you the way it does . Technorati Tags: william faulkner,american literature
More About: William , Faulkner

Francine Porad - Solitaire
2008-02-13 10:58:00
solitaire I win all the games . Technorati Tags: francine porad,haiku poetry
More About: Solitaire

John Steinbeck - Discontent
2008-02-10 05:17:00
Where does discontent start ? You are worm enough , but you shiver . You are fed , yet hunger gnaws you . You have been loved , but your yearning wanders in new fields . And to prod all these , there’s time , the Bastard Time . Technorati Tags: john steinbeck,american literature
More About: John , John Steinbeck

Van Gogh - Skull With Cigarette
2008-02-08 06:49:00
Technorati Tags: van gogh painting,art
More About: Van Gogh , Skull , Cigarette , Gogh

George Carlin - Living At The Water’s Edge
2008-02-08 05:25:00
The best thing about living at the water’s edge . You only have assholes on three sides of you , and if they come this way you can hear them splash . Technorati Tags: George Carlin,outstanding comedian,humor
More About: Living , George Carlin , Edge

Van Hanh
2008-02-07 08:44:00
The body of man is like a flicker of lightning existing only to return to Nothingness . Like the spring growth that shrivels in autumn . Waste no thought on the process for it has no purpose , Coming and going like dew . Technorati Tags: zen poetry,van hanh,words of wisdom

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