FUNPENFUNPENA complete Portal for entertaining you in many ways we have posts on jokes,fun,cartoons,comics,funny pictures,mimicry,comedy videos,Poems etc....... Articles
Footprints
2008-03-10 04:43:00 One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonging to him, and the other to the LORD. When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life. This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it: "LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me." The LORD replied: "My son, my precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of foot... More About: God , Stories , Footprints
Answer on a Blonde's Geometry test
2008-03-07 09:35:00 .flickr-photo { border: solid 2px #000000; }.flickr-yourcomment { }.flickr-frame { text-align: left; padding: 3px; }.flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; } FUN PIC'S, originally uploaded by dbwhitcon. Question: The base of a Right angle traingle is 4 cm and the adjacent side is 3 cm as shown in figure then what is hypotuneus in figure refered as x?Subscribe to FUN PEN by Email More About: Answer , Test , Geometry
Difference between an employee and his boss
2008-03-07 07:32:00 When I Take a long time to finish,I am slow, When my boss takes a long time,he is thorough When I don't do it, I am lazy, When my boss does not do it, he is busy, When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart, When my boss does the same, he takes the initiative, When I please my boss, I am apple polishing, When my boss pleases his boss, he is cooperating, When I make a mistake, you're an idiot. When my boss makes a mistake, he's only human. When I am out of the office, I am wandering around. When my boss is out of the office, he's on business. When I am on a day off sick, I am always sick. When my boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill. When I apply for leave, I must be going for an interview When my boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked When I do good, my boss never remembers, When I do wrong, he never forgets!!!!!!. Subscribe to FUN PEN by Email More About: Boss , Employee , Difference
Message From Swami Vivekananda
2008-03-06 09:29:00 When I Asked God for Strength He Gave Me Difficult Situations to Face When I Asked God for Brain & Brown He Gave Me Puzzles in Life to Solve When I Asked God for Happiness He Showed Me Some Unhappy People When I Asked God for Wealth He Showed Me How to Work Hard When I Asked God for Favors He Showed Me Opportunities to Work Hard When I Asked God for Peace He Showed Me How to Help Others God Gave Me Nothing I Wanted He Gave Me Everything I Needed iGATE is Ranked No. 3 in DQ-IDC best IT&nb sp;employer survey and Ran ked No.6 by Business Today-Mercer H uman Resource Consulting-TNS&nb sp; in a cross indust ry survey of Best Com panies to work for in India ----------------------------------------- -----------------------DISC... More About: Message
Meeting With Ghost
2008-03-06 09:28:00 ; &nbs p; Once upon a time there was a boy in a town. He was only son of his parents. He felt lonely so he started praying. One day God was so happy with his prayer so he appeared at his place and asked him to wish any thing. The boy said to God, "I feel lonely so give me one friend". God promised him, "he would send one friend for him". He became happy after hearing these words. God went back to heaven. God checked in all heaven but he did not find single person who was free to go to the earth that time. God was in toroble and worried. He sent his informer to many places but he did not find any friend for his best child. Next day one of his informers came and told him that there was one woman in hell. She was free to go to the earth.The Informer told him all about that girl. She was a ghost because she murdered one guy when she was alive. God thought and sent her on the ... More About: Ghost , Meeting
Funny Uses of a Chair
2008-03-06 09:24:00 We encounter them in everyday life. You yourself, probably own several. But, have you ever considered the various uses of a chair? This article will present to you, ten uses for a standard chair. 1. Sit on it. This is a great way to relieve the stress of tired feet. At the end of a long day, come home and sit down. Sitting, also can be combined with various fun activities such as eating, watching TV, and taking off your shoes. Highly recommended. 2. Stand on it. Can’t reach that top shelf where you stashed that bottle of vodka? Stand on a chair. Chair s have been used to reach things in high places for thousands of years. While the use of this method declined after the invention of the stepladder, its popularity is now making a comeback. 3. Put things on it. If you find yourself without a convenient table on which to put your bag, and you don’t want to put it on the floor, why not rest it on a chair? This cuts your energy u... More About: Funny
Amazing Facts
2008-03-06 09:11:00 TIP is the acronym for "To Insure Promptness." Alexander Graham Bell never phoned his wife or mother because they were deaf. To make one kilo of honey bees have to visit 4 million flowers, traveling a distance equal to 4 times around the earth. Bananas are the world's most popular fruit after tomatoes. Leonardo da Vinci could write with the one hand and draw with the other simultaneously. Your heart beats 101,000 times a day. During your lifetime it will beat about 3 billion times and pump about 400 million litres (800 million pints) of blood. Your mouth produces 1 litre (1.8 pints) of saliva a day. On average, people can hold their breath for one minute. The world record is seven-and-a-half minutes. Einstein's brain was of average size (1375 grams - 49oz). A person can live without food for about a month, but only about a week without water. Men loose about 40 hairs a day. Women loose about 70 hairs a day. ... More About: Facts , Amazing Facts , Amazing
A software proffesional's Love Letter
2008-03-06 08:55:00 Sweetheart, I've seen you yesterday while surfing on local train platform and realized that you are the only site I was browsing for. For long time, I’ve been lonely; this has been the bug in my life and you can be a real debugger for me now. My life is just uncompelled program without you which never produces an executable code and hence is useless. You are not only beautiful by face but all your ActiveX controls are attractive as well. Your smile is so delightful which encourages me and gives power to me equal to thousands of mainframes processing power. When you looked at me last evening, I felt like all my program modules are running smoothly and giving expected results. /* which I never experienced before */. With this letter, I just want to convey you that, if we are linked together, I’ll provide you all objects & libraries necessary for human being to live a error free life. Also don't bother about the firewall which may be created b... More About: Software , Love , Letter , Love Letter
Anger management for ladies
2008-02-26 11:39:00 Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back.How do you controlyour anger?Wife: I clean the toilet bowl.Husband: How does that help?Wife: I use your toothbrush.Subscribe to FUN PEN by EmailSubscribe to FUN PEN by Email More About: Management , Anger Management , Anger , Ladies
A software engineer's gift to barber for hair cut
2008-02-26 11:17:00 There was a good old barber in Bangalore. One day aflorist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies:I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I amdoing a Community Service. Florist is happy and leaves the shop.The next morning when the Barber goes to open hisshop, there is a "Thank You" Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes topay the barber he again refuses to take the money. The Confectioner is happy and leaves the shop.The next morning when the Barber goes to open hisshop, there is another "Thank you" Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at his door.A Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber again refuses the money saying that it was a community service.The next morning when the Barber goes to open hisshop, guess what he finds there......Scroll down for answer... . . . . . . .. . . . .......(Believe me it's worth it!!!!!!!!!! )......................... More About: Gift , Hair , Hair cut
Where there is a will there is a way
2008-02-26 10:34:00 An old man lived alone in a village. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation: Dear Son, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison. Love, Dad Shortly, the old man received this telegram: "For Heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the GUNS!!" At 4 a.m. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns. Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asked him what to do next. His son's reply... More About: Stories , Attitude
Seshu babu's seven up joke
2008-02-26 10:25:00 It is my first year engineering semester exam days we are preparing hard for exams i used to stay in our college hostel and Seshu babu sir is the incharge of the our college and the hostel. one evening iam preparing for forth coming exams sitting in the coridor in a chair along with our friends its a study hour in our hostel,iam studying serioulsy in suddenly i saw seshu babu sir coming straight to our batch through the way beside me he suddenly stopped beside me and grabbed the seven up bottle that i kept beside me which was filled with drinking water and he had a sip of water and he stared for a second at me then he said like this " Pawan you have cheated me" , wondering what i did i am thinking whats the wrong i did in the recent times,how do i would have cheated him.all of my friends are also seriously observing whats the discussion going in between us and they are also trying to guess how do i cheated him,i thought a week back i have gone for a movie insted of going ... More About: Jokes , Joke
Where is GOD?
2008-02-22 05:05:00 Two little boys, aged 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon. The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?"The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?!"Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God?!" The bo... More About: Jokes
Weight loss program
2008-02-20 11:11:00 Weight Loss Program :There's a knock on the door and there stands before him avoluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pairof Nikerunning shoes and a sign round her neck. She introduces herself as arepresentative of the weight loss company. The sign reads: "If youcan catch me,youcan have me." Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A fewmiles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has hisway with her. The same girl shows up for the next four days and thesame thinghappens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to findhe haslost 10lbs., as promised. He then calls the company and orders their5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door andtherestands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen inhis life.Sheis wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around herneckthat reads: "If you catch me you can have me." Well, he's out thedoor afterherlike a shot! This girl is in excelle... More About: Jokes , Weight Loss , Weight
The bottle of wine
2008-02-20 11:10:00 For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married,or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about thenext time you see a bottle of wine:Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in NorthernArizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side ofthe road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the carand asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silentnod of thanks, the woman got into the car. Resuming the journey,Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajowoman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently ateverything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticeda brown bag on the seat next to Sally."What in bag?" asked the old woman.Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's a bottle of wine.I got it for my husband.."The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two ... thenspeaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:"Good trade ..."Subscribe to... More About: Jokes , Wine , Bottle
The golden screw
2008-02-20 11:10:00 Once upon a time, a young lad was born without a belly button. Inits place was a golden screw. All the doctors told his mother thatthere was nothing they could do. Like it or not, he was stuck withit.All the years of growing up were real tough on him, as all who sawthe screw made fun of him. He avoided ever leaving his house andthus, never made any friends.One day, while surfing the internet, he learned of a swami in Tibetthat could get rid of the screw for him. He was thrilled. The nextday he took his life's savings and bought a ticket to Nepal.After several days of climbing up steep cliffs, he came upon a giantmonastery. The swami knew exactly why he had come. He was told tosleep in the highest tower of the monastery and the following daywhen he awoke, the screw would have been removed.The man immediately went to the room and fell asleep. During thenight while he slept, a purple fog floated in an open window,bearing in its mist, a golden screwdriver. In just moments, thescrewdriv... More About: Jokes , Screw , Golden
The wishing well
2008-02-20 11:09:00 A couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wishand threw in a penny.The husband decided to make a wish, too. But he leaned over too much,fell into the well, and drowned. The wife was stunned for a while butthen smiled "Wow! It really works!"Subscribe to FUN PEN by EmailSubscribe to FUN PEN by Email More About: Jokes , Wishing well , Wishing
The Amazing Claude
2008-02-20 11:08:00 The Amazing Claude It was entertainment night at the Senior Center and the AmazingClaudewastopping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famedhypnotistdo his stuff.As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, heannounced, "Unlikemosthypnotists who invite two or three people up here to be put into atrance, Iintend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautifulantiquepocket watch fromhis coat. "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch.It'savery special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietlychanting,"Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch..."The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, lightgleaming off its polished surface.Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch as The AmazingClaudecontinued,"You are getting sleepy...sleepy... you are now under my power.."Until, sudd... More About: Jokes
The perfect couple
2008-02-20 11:07:00 Once upon time a time a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress.Being the perfect couple they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge sack of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children ther perfect couple loaded Santa and thew toys into the car.Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately the weather got worse and the perfect couple and Santa Clause had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident.QUESTION: Who was the survivor?Read on to find the answer!The perfect woman survived. She is the only one that really exists in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man!*Women stop reading here this is the end of the joke.*Men read on t... More About: Jokes , Couple , Perfect
Accident happens !
2008-02-20 11:06:00 A man runs into a friend and notices that his car is wrecked and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt, and blood. He asks his friend, "What happened to your car?""Well," the friend responds, "I ran into my ex wife's divorce lawyer.""OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... But what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt?""Well, I had to chase him all through the park."Subscribe to FUN PEN by EmailSubscribe to FUN PEN by Email More About: Jokes , Accident
The Love of beans
2008-02-20 11:05:00 Once there lived a woman who had a terrible passion for baked beans. She loved them but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on her. One day she met a man and they fell in love. When it was apparent that they would marry she thought to himself, "He'll never go through with the marriage if I carry on like this." So she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Shortly after that they were married.A few months later, on the way home from work, her car broke down. Since they lived in the country she telephoned her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk.On her way home she passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed her. Since she still had several miles to walk the woman thought she would walk off any ill effects before she got home. So she went into the cafe and ordered three extra large helpings of beans.All the way home she farted. By the time she arrived home she felt reasonably safe. Her ... More About: Jokes , Love , Beans
Start Topic
2008-02-20 11:04:00 A little boy is telling his Grandma how "everything" is going wrong...school, family problems, severe health problems, etc. Meanwhile, Grandma is baking a cake. She asks the child if he would like a snack, which of course he does. "Here. Have some cooking oil." "Yuck," says the boy. "How about a couple of raw eggs?" "Gross, Grandma." "Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?" "Grandma, those are all yucky!" To which the Grandma replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake! " God works the same way. Many times we wonder why he would let us go through such bad and difficult times, but, God knows that, when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually they will all make something wonderful!" Subscribe to FUN PEN by EmailSubscribe to FUN PEN by Email More About: Jokes , Start , Topic
gynecologist visit
2008-02-19 07:42:00 A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynecologist. "Come now," coaxed the doctor, " you've been seeing me for years. There's nothing you can't tell me.""This one's kind of strange...""Let me be the judge of that," the doctor replied."Well," she said, "yesterday I went to the bathroom in the morning and heard a plink-plink-plink in the toilet and when I looked down, the water was full of pennies." "I see.""That afternoon I went to the bathroom again and, plink-plink-plink, there were nickels in the bowl.""That night," she went on, "I went again, plink-plink-plink, and there were dimes and this morning there were quarters. You've got to tell me what's wrong with me!," she implored. "I'm scared out of my wits!"The gynecologist put a comforting hand on her shoulder."There, there, it's nothing to be scared about."~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "You're simply going through the change." Subscribe to FUN PEN by EmailSubscribe to FUN PEN by E... More About: Jokes , Visit
The empty nest
2008-02-19 07:40:00 Ok I love my daughter and my son but what happened to the empty nest? I spent years raising them so they would be able to go on their own. All those years the BATTLE CRY was we want to be on our own ; do what we want and ok. The day came when they went out the door to their freedom their independence; I showed a tear or too but when they were out of sight I cranked up the cd player to MY MUSIC and danced around the kitchen. Ok sex with my husband no longer had to be carefully planned; no more music that made no sense to me, quiet dinners with my husband; when the phone rang it was for me. Ok this lasted for a few months and then one day my daughter is at the door her and the boyfriend have split up and so back home to mom and dad. Ok that was not too bad and then she moved out this time for good and GUESS WHAT we skip from the 80's to 2006 and Mom is a widow but happy on her own dating and enjoying life and the son shows up on her doorstep and ok he needs to stay for awhile out of ... More About: Jokes , Nest , Empty
I had it all
2008-02-19 07:39:00 A man was complaining to a friend, "I had it all - money, amagnificent house, a fast car, the love of a beautiful woman...then, poof! It was all gone!" "What happened?" asked the friend."My wife found out..."Subscribe to FUN PEN by EmailSubscribe to FUN PEN by Email More About: Jokes
Having a Bad day.
2008-02-19 07:37:00 A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle when it accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handle bars, was dragged through the glass patio doors and along with the motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house. The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room and found her husband lying on the floor cut and bleeding. On seeing the motorcycle lying next to him and the shattered patio door the wife ran to the phone and summoned the ambulance. Because they lived on a fairly large hill the wife went down the several flights of stairs to the street to escort the paramedics to her husband.After the ambulance arrived and transported the man to the hospital the wife righted the motorcycle and pushed it outside. Seeing that gas was spilled on the floor the wife got some paper towels, blotted up the gasoline and threw the towels in the toilet.The man was treated and release... More About: Jokes
Who would know ?
2008-02-19 07:36:00 The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch. Someone called 911. When the paramedics arrived, they helped him regain consciousness and asked if he knew what caused him to faint. "It was enough to make anybody faint," he said. "My son asked me for the keys to the garage, and instead of driving the car out, he came out with the lawn mower!" Subscribe to FUN PEN by EmailSubscribe to FUN PEN by Email More About: Jokes
Grandparents
2008-02-19 07:31:00 Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting. ~Author Unknown What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure. ~Gene Perret Grandmothers are just "antique" little girls. ~Author Unknown Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild. ~Welsh Proverb A grandmother is a babysitter who watches the kids instead of the television. ~Author Unknown Never have children, only grandchildren. ~Gore Vidal Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. One moment you're just a mother. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric. ~Pam Brown Grandchildren don't stay young forever, which is good because Grandfathers have only so many horsey rides in them. ~Gene Perret When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. ~Ogden Nash Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see just you all day and now the day was complete. ~ Marcy DeMaree Grandmas never run out of hugs or cookies. ~Author unknown Gran... More About: Jokes
Boudreaux
2008-02-19 07:30:00 Boudreaux died and was on his way down to Hell. In anticipation, theDevil turned up the thermostat to make it extra warm for Boudreaux.When Boudreaux arrived, the Devil asked, "Hey, Boudreaux, how do youlike the heat down here?"Boudreaux says, "Mais, it's just fine. It reminds me of Bayou PonPonin July."That made the Devil mad. That night, he turned the thermostat up allthe way it could go. Man it was hot! When Boudreaux woke up, theDevil asked him, "NOW, how do you like it down here?"Boudreaux says, "Mais, it's fine. It reminds me of August on BayouLafourche."As you might expect, that made the Devil all the more mad. Well, thatnight, he turned the thermostat down all the way it could go! Thewhole place frosted over. Icicles started forming from the rafters.When Boudreaux woke up, the Devil asked him, "How you like it NOW,Boudreaux?"Boudreaux, shivering, through blue lips, says, "Mais cher, I'm onehappy Cajun!The Devil was infuriated! He yelled, "What do you mean you're onehappy... More About: Jokes
And there will be three
More articles from this author:2008-02-19 07:29:00 The newly wed wife said to her husband whenHe returned from work: "I have great news forYou. Pretty soon we're going to be three in thisHouse instead of two."The husband started glowing with happinessAnd kissing his wife said: "Oh darling, I'm theHappiest man in the world."But then she said: "I'm glad that you feel thatWay because tomorrow morning my motherMoves in with us."Subscribe to FUN PEN by EmailSubscribe to FUN PEN by Email More About: Jokes 1, 2, 3, 4 |
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