Man with Family Man with Family Manwithfamily.com follows the humorous and often insightful musings of a man facing midlife. Articles
"Survivors" or "Victims"
2008-04-22 18:30:00 The Pope's impromptu planned visit last week with victims of clergy sexual abuse has been widely reported. In a New York Times report on April 16 entitled, "Abuse Victims Not Placated by Pope", Becky Ianni, a 50-year-old abuse victim said, ???He talks about feeling shame for the scandal but it???s a far cry from the shame that victims have had to live with our entire lives. We don???t really need his sense of shame." She's right, of course. Yet many news outlets reported all week that the Pope visited with the "survivors", not the "victims." It seems to me that calling the victims "survivors", even though they truly are, softens the terrible act and does more to add to the shame that Ms. Ianni and so many others do note need to endure.Shame on the news media. These individuals are victims of abuse, even if they are also survivors of despicable actions of individual members of the clergy.Enough said. More About: News , Rants , Survivors
"Survivors" or "Victims"
2008-04-22 18:30:00 The Pope's impromptu planned visit last week with victims of clergy sexual abuse has been widely reported. In a New York Times report on April 16 entitled, "Abuse Victims Not Placated by Pope", Becky Ianni, a 50-year-old abuse victim said, ?He talks about feeling shame for the scandal but it?s a far cry from the shame that victims have had to live with our entire lives. We don?t really need his sense of shame." She's right, of course. Yet many news outlets reported all week that the Pope visited with the "survivors", not the "victims." It seems to me that calling the victims "survivors", even though they truly are, softens the terrible act and does more to add to the shame that Ms. Ianni and so many others do note need to endure.Shame on the news media. These individuals are victims of abuse, even if they are also survivors of despicable actions of individual members of the clergy.Enough said. More About: News , Rants , Survivors
Wear Sunscreen
2008-04-06 04:14:00 Yesterday's post with the Kurt Vonnegut reminded me of Mary Schmich's June 1997 column in the Chicago Tribune which has been attributed to Vonnegut as an MIT commencement speech (he didn't give it that year). Schmich introduced the column as the commencement address she would give if she were asked to give one. When I went searching for it (it's listed below), I found this great little video by Baz Luhrmann. Enjoy both. By Mary Schmich, Chicago Tribune, June 1, 1997 Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97. Wear Sunscreen . If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look b...
Wear Sunscreen
2008-04-06 04:14:00 Yesterday's post with the Kurt Vonnegut reminded me of Mary Schmich's June 1997 column in the Chicago Tribune which has been attributed to Vonnegut as an MIT commencement speech (he didn't give it that year). Schmich introduced the column as the commencement address she would give if she were asked to give one. When I went searching for it (it's listed below), I found this great little video by Baz Luhrmann. Enjoy both. By Mary Schmich, Chicago Tribune, June 1, 1997 Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97. Wear Sunscreen . If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look b...
Give kids a historical connection
2008-04-04 20:00:00 I've been cleaning off my desk today. At the bottom of a stack of papers, was an article I saved from USA Today on February 26 entitled, "Teens losing touch with historical references." The gist of it is, today's teenagers have lost touch with American History, and can't identify most major events or the impact on our life today. It boils down to the sad fact that History is not taught in most schools as a primary subject. The article was accompanied by a quiz, Are you smarter than a 17-year-old? Sadly, my kids failed it, too.We take some pride in reconnecting our kids with historical facts through hands-on or living history events. We do a little traveling, taking in historical sites and learning a little about our past. I force them to watch historical movies and documentaries, at times. Heck, we're even descendants of several noted patriots and a signer of the Declaration of Independence--facts they've been forced to learn. Yet, we don't spend a lot of tim... More About: News , Kids , Connection , Historical , Give
Give kids a historical connection
2008-04-04 20:00:00 I've been cleaning off my desk today. At the bottom of a stack of papers, was an article I saved from USA Today on February 26 entitled, "Teens losing touch with historical references." The gist of it is, today's teenagers have lost touch with American History, and can't identify most major events or the impact on our life today. It boils down to the sad fact that History is not taught in most schools as a primary subject. The article was accompanied by a quiz, Are you smarter than a 17-year-old? Sadly, my kids failed it, too.We take some pride in reconnecting our kids with historical facts through hands-on or living history events. We do a little traveling, taking in historical sites and learning a little about our past. I force them to watch historical movies and documentaries, at times. Heck, we're even descendants of several noted patriots and a signer of the Declaration of Independence--facts they've been forced to learn. Yet, we don't spend a lot of tim... More About: News , Kids , Connection , Historical , Give
It's no longer "hip" to be married?
2008-03-30 18:30:00 While I was doing the previous post, I came upon a Po Bronson article in Time Magazine entitled, "Has being Married Gone Out of Style?" from October 2006. It seems that the Census Bureau has noted that homes headed by married couples now falls below 50%.Given I'd just done a post over the weekend on the perspective of someone who had been married 50 years, I thought you might be interested in seeing this article. More About: News , Marriage , Family Life
It's no longer "hip" to be married?
2008-03-30 18:30:00 While I was doing the previous post, I came upon a Po Bronson article in Time Magazine entitled, "Has being Married Gone Out of Style?" from October 2006. It seems that the Census Bureau has noted that homes headed by married couples now falls below 50%.Given I'd just done a post over the weekend on the perspective of someone who had been married 50 years, I thought you might be interested in seeing this article. More About: News , Marriage , Family Life
What Should I Do With My Life?
2008-03-30 17:55:00 In 2003, I read Po Bronson's book, What Should I Do With My Life ? as I was contemplating the second act of my career. The book profiles 50 individuals as they search for their true calling in life. It was very interesting to me to learn the challenges of others as they made a journey similar to mine. Those stories were very useful to me as I made the work transition to non-profit industry in 2004. If you're thinking about your second act and are unsure what to do next, I'd encourage you read this book as your first step. Understanding how others have crossed the same bridge is eye-opening. More About: Books , Work , My Life
What Should I Do With My Life?
2008-03-30 17:55:00 In 2003, I read Po Bronson's book, What Should I Do With My Life ? as I was contemplating the second act of my career. The book profiles 50 individuals as they search for their true calling in life. It was very interesting to me to learn the challenges of others as they made a journey similar to mine. Those stories were very useful to me as I made the work transition to non-profit industry in 2004. If you're thinking about your second act and are unsure what to do next, I'd encourage you read this book as your first step. Understanding how others have crossed the same bridge is eye-opening. More About: Books , Work , My Life
Letter to the Lady of the House
2008-03-29 18:30:00 On a recent solo trip home after dropping The Psychologist off at college, I had the opportunity to catch up on some Podcasts from This American Life. While most of the stories were interesting, the one that stuck out for me was author Richard Bausch reading "Letter to the Lady of the House ," from The Selected Stories of Richard Bausch. All I can say is, what a great story.Bausch narrates this fictional letter, written on the eve of a man's seventieth birthday to Marie, his wife of fifty years. He's finally reached a point in his life where he can get through the petty quarrels and tell her what's really on his mind. To share more here would take away from the richness of the essay and the depth that Bausch give to his reading. But, I was entranced as a I listened to the reading driving alone in the dark, with a light rain hitting the windshield and the steady beat of the wipes keeping pace with the story. I hung on every word, waiting for closure and found it when he said ... More About: Love , Family Life
Letter to the Lady of the House
2008-03-29 18:30:00 On a recent solo trip home after dropping The Psychologist off at college, I had the opportunity to catch up on some Podcasts from This American Life. While most of the stories were interesting, the one that stuck out for me was author Richard Bausch reading "Letter to the Lady of the House ," from The Selected Stories of Richard Bausch. All I can say is, what a great story.Bausch narrates this fictional letter, written on the eve of a man's seventieth birthday to Marie, his wife of fifty years. He's finally reached a point in his life where he can get through the petty quarrels and tell her what's really on his mind. To share more here would take away from the richness of the essay and the depth that Bausch give to his reading. But, I was entranced as a I listened to the reading driving alone in the dark, with a light rain hitting the windshield and the steady beat of the wipes keeping pace with the story. I hung on every word, waiting for closure and found it when he said ... More About: Love , Family Life
A big belly will cause you to lose your mind
2008-03-27 22:00:00 The Los Angeles Times today posted a story on a study that indicates there's a correlation between a big stomach at middle age and dementia. The article references a study by a Kaiser Permanente which said: "Those who were overweight and had a large belly when measurements were taken were 2.3 times more likely to develop dementia in old age than those who had a healthy weight and belly size when they were younger. People who were obese -- with a BMI greater than 30 -- and had a large belly in middle age were 3.6 times more likely to develop dementia later in life than those whose weight and belly size had been in the healthy range." "This ought to be a wake-up call to baby boomers in terms of diet and exercise," said Dr. Sam Gandy, a spokesman for the Alzheimer's Assn. who was not involved in the study. "If they are not frightened enough about heart disease, maybe they will worry about losing their mental function." I'm seriously thinking I need to exercise a bit. Not that I... More About: Health , Mind , Belly
A big belly will cause you to lose your mind
2008-03-27 22:00:00 The Los Angeles Times today posted a story on a study that indicates there's a correlation between a big stomach at middle age and dementia. The article references a study by a Kaiser Permanente which said: "Those who were overweight and had a large belly when measurements were taken were 2.3 times more likely to develop dementia in old age than those who had a healthy weight and belly size when they were younger. People who were obese -- with a BMI greater than 30 -- and had a large belly in middle age were 3.6 times more likely to develop dementia later in life than those whose weight and belly size had been in the healthy range." "This ought to be a wake-up call to baby boomers in terms of diet and exercise," said Dr. Sam Gandy, a spokesman for the Alzheimer's Assn. who was not involved in the study. "If they are not frightened enough about heart disease, maybe they will worry about losing their mental function." I'm seriously thinking I need to exercise a bit. Not that I... More About: Health , Mind , Belly
If you're 44, start drinking now.
2008-03-13 22:31:00 The March 2008 issue of the American Journal of Medicine is encouraging middle aged folks to pick up a bottle. According to a new study led by Dr. Dana King of the Medical University of South Carolina, Charleston, folks who newly begin consuming moderate amounts of alcohol in middle age benefit from lower cardiovascular disease morbidity. Results of the study indicated that the new moderate drinkers had a 38% lower chance of developing cardiovascular disease, but their was no difference in all-cause mortality between the new drinkers and the nondrinkers. But what interested me the most, was this: "The new drinkers also showed a modest improvement in HDL-cholesterol levels and no adverse effect on blood pressure. The researchers say that these data support the idea that initiating alcohol use in middle age may have an overall positive impact on cardiovascular health and that, for carefully selected individuals, a "heart-healthy diet" may include limited alcohol consumption, even am... More About: Start , Drinking
If you're 44, start drinking now.
2008-03-13 22:31:00 The March 2008 issue of the American Journal of Medicine is encouraging middle aged folks to pick up a bottle. According to a new study led by Dr. Dana King of the Medical University of South Carolina, Charleston, folks who newly begin consuming moderate amounts of alcohol in middle age benefit from lower cardiovascular disease morbidity. Results of the study indicated that the new moderate drinkers had a 38% lower chance of developing cardiovascular disease, but their was no difference in all-cause mortality between the new drinkers and the nondrinkers. But what interested me the most, was this: "The new drinkers also showed a modest improvement in HDL-cholesterol levels and no adverse effect on blood pressure. The researchers say that these data support the idea that initiating alcohol use in middle age may have an overall positive impact on cardiovascular health and that, for carefully selected individuals, a "heart-healthy diet" may include limited alcohol consumption, even am... More About: Start , Drinking
Extraordinarily busy
2008-03-11 06:00:00 Sorry for the lack of posts the last few weeks. It's been extraordinarily busy around our household. The Psychologist was home for Spring Break celebrated it by having all four of her wisdom teeth out. Much homework that needed my assistance. A few sick people. A little butt-kicking was due for The Boy to keep him working on his Scouting merit badges (he's so close to his next rank). Plus several work related activities that stretched into the evening hours. I'll try to pick up the pace again this week. read more More About: Family Life , Busy
Extraordinarily busy
2008-03-11 06:00:00 Sorry for the lack of posts the last few weeks. It's been extraordinarily busy around our household. The Psychologist was home for Spring Break celebrated it by having all four of her wisdom teeth out. Much homework that needed my assistance. A few sick people. A little butt-kicking was due for The Boy to keep him working on his Scouting merit badges (he's so close to his next rank). Plus several work related activities that stretched into the evening hours. I'll try to pick up the pace again this week. read more More About: Family Life , Busy
Spending money's a good thing
2008-02-19 00:06:00 I was off work today. I get the banker's holidays, even though I'm not a banker. I like those few extra days a year. I spent most of the day cleaning my den. The clutter was beginning to overwhelm me. Every so often that happens, and I need to get on top of it again. This has been my pattern my whole life, but I've decided to turn over a new leaf. I'll be working to deal with paper and mail as it comes into the house. I've reorganized a bit to be able to accommodate those changes. We'll see how that goes. After several months, I was able to convince the Wife to go sofa shopping with me. She hates to spend money. Go figure. We've needed a new sofa for some time, but today the kids called and family a meeting (absent the Wife) and said, "Dad, we really need to get a new sofa." That tipped the scales. We've struggled at times with money in the past 20+ years. Partly because of bad investments, partly because of failed businesses or a job lay-off, but mostly because I don't ha... More About: Spending , Good , Family Life , Thing
Spending money's a good thing
2008-02-19 00:06:00 I was off work today. I get the banker's holidays, even though I'm not a banker. I like those few extra days a year. I spent most of the day cleaning my den. The clutter was beginning to overwhelm me. Every so often that happens, and I need to get on top of it again. This has been my pattern my whole life, but I've decided to turn over a new leaf. I'll be working to deal with paper and mail as it comes into the house. I've reorganized a bit to be able to accommodate those changes. We'll see how that goes. After several months, I was able to convince the Wife to go sofa shopping with me. She hates to spend money. Go figure. We've needed a new sofa for some time, but today the kids called and family a meeting (absent the Wife) and said, "Dad, we really need to get a new sofa." That tipped the scales. We've struggled at times with money in the past 20+ years. Partly because of bad investments, partly because of failed businesses or a job lay-off, but mostly because I don't ha... More About: Spending , Good , Family Life , Thing
When I grow up, I want to work in advertising
2008-02-16 17:15:00 While I was looking for that monster.com commercial for my previous post on YouTube, I came upon this parody that is just hysterical. Well, if you've ever worked in the Advertising Industry, it's hysterical. Judge for yourself. read more More About: Work , Grow
When I Grow Up
2008-02-16 16:58:00 A few weeks ago, I was an adult leader on a trip with a bunch of teenagers. When we stopped for dinner, I found myself setting across from a young man I didn't know well. We started talking about school, his pending graduation and the fact that he didn't think he wanted to go to college. He said he didn't really know what he wanted to do with his life. In hopes of lightening the moment, I said, "That's alright. I don't yet know that I want to be when I grow up." There was a bit of silence, and then he look up from his dinner and said, "I don't really know how to respond to that." I laughed and told him that teachers, parents and others spend too much time trying to get us to decide what kind of career to have, but most of don't have a clue at 18 what the world is like. Many of us, even in middle age, struggle with what we really want to do, or worse, find that what we were pushed into at 18 or 19, was really a waste of 25 years. At middle age, many of us wake up and say, "I d... More About: Grow
Call me a geek: The new Indiana Jones movie looks great!
2008-02-16 00:54:00 Did you watch the new teaser trailer above for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? Looks pretty cool, huh? I've always been a fan of the Indiana Jones character and the movies, although I'll be the first to admit that the Temple of Doom was the worst of the bunch. Nonetheless, Harrison Ford has done a great job making this character his own. I'm eager to see how he pulls this off, some 20 years since the last movie. I've read that he's one to do all of his own stunts, but I've not read anything about his stunts for this movie. I'd forgive him if he didn't stretch himself this time out. After all, he'll be 66 this year. Or maybe I'll just forgive him because if he didn't do those stunts, he'd make those of us in our 40's look a little less lame. For more information on the movie, visit: www.indianajones.com Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull hits the theaters May 22, 2008. read more More About: Movies , Movie , Great
Splints out today!
2008-02-15 20:11:00 I was really pleased to get the splints out my nose today. I had no idea those things were so big. They had to be 5-6" long, at least. All the way through my nasal cavity and into down into my sinuses a bit. It wasn't terribly uncomfortable to have them removed. Just a snip of a couple of stitches. The more uncomfortable part was having the doctor clean out my nose. It's pretty gross to have someone picking your nose, even if they're using medical tools and a vacuum device. Great report from the doctor, and no need for a follow up. I'm still breathing well tonight, although a little stuffy on one side. We'll see if it really helps with the snoring. It has done wonders already for the breathing. There is one down side, though. I'm smelling some things I hadn't smelled before (or at least in a very long time.) read more More About: Today , Family Life
Happy Valentine's Day - 2008
2008-02-14 23:23:00 I'm not a particularly romantic guy, but I am sentimental. For years the Wife and I have just exchanged cards. I generally buy one for her. She often makes one for me. Sometimes her card is very simple and practical, such as the one I found in front of the coffee pot when I got up this morning. This year's card was an 8 1/2" x 11" sheet of red construction paper, with four hearts cut out of the middle. She had written around the edges, "Happy Valentine's Day. I love you always." I smiled. When the kids at home returned from school today, they all mentioned the red paper hearts in their lunches, each with a note and "Happy Valentine's Day!, Love Mom". They love it, but they won't admit it. Then they noticed my card, and The Boy taped his heart back into it. Later in the evening, I saw that all the hearts were back. It might seem like small gesture, but those things in my house, show how completely we love and respect each other. Even when it's not always apparent with daily... More About: 2008
Breathing again!
2008-02-13 11:43:00 Finally, I'm able to get some air going through my nose. I know this is gross, but I'm able to blow my nose a little (it's fine, the doctor said I could). I guess the 4-times-daily irrigation of saline in the nose has paid off. The output is, well, gross. Yes, I looked. I couldn't take the boredom any longer and started to do a little of my job from home today. Nothing major, just writing and planning--things that I have difficulty doing most days with regular interruptions. It's nice to actually make progress on those things. read more More About: Family Life
Am I having a midlife crisis?
2008-02-12 20:23:00 The Miami Herald had an article today entitled, 5 things you didn't know about midlife crisis. Among those five points were, "Am I Having one?" in which the article said doctors do believe it is a genuine condition with the following symptoms, among others: irritability loss of sex drive impotence fatigue depression hair loss weight gain loss of ability to recover quickly from injuries It also said that a recent "Happiness" study showed that both men and women's happiness followed a U-shaped curve, with the most unhappy time being at the bottom of the curve, or about age 44. If find all this interesting, but I have to point out that I don't possess an of the symptoms from the bullet-point list above. Except, maybe irritability, but then I've always been a tad grouchy. So, I guess I'm not having a milife crisis after all. Funny thing about that list though. If you look at it closely, I'll bet you know people in their 20's and 30's who have the symptoms listed. Of course, t... More About: News , Crisis , Midlife , Midlife crisis
Bored out of my mind
2008-02-11 18:37:00 I don't believe I could ever retire. I couldn't do the daytime TV thing. There's just so much Dr. Phil, and Law & Order re-runs a man can watch. I remain a mouth breather. No improvements from yesterday. Napping frequently. read more More About: Bored , Mind , Family Life
Still recovering
2008-02-10 15:23:00 The nasal stuffiness persists. I'm now officially a mouth breather. Breathing through the mouth makes it difficult to eat or talk and breathe at the same time. Otherwise, the recovery is going well. I'm being "babied" a bit by the fam, but I'm rarely sick. I missed church and a church meeting tonight. Couldn't breathe and talk, so no sense trying to participate. More About: Family Life |
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