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One Brick Shy
2008-03-10 16:51:00
Late night Sunday RadioCough, cough...*Click*..ssssshhhzzz...Only seven ninety f..zzzss..outeen dead in Starbuck expl..fizzz..ratory surgery may be pres..zzzsss..ident Bush announced that he is a cr...ssszz...eep trying..zzzsszs..Soft, yet haunting melody(Work with me here readers, I still haven't figured out how to put music on this thing.)(Female Announcers voice)Years ago, Don Lewis, himself a skeptic, discovered that he had a unique gift. The ability to contact, speak with, and receive payments from those who wanted to speak to those who had passed on. Now Don wants to share his gift with you (except for the money part.) He invites calls from those who want to speak with the departed, to piece the veil, to look though the small hole in the brick wall that separates the living from the circulatory challenged - and answer one of the most important questions of our time..."Is there life after 10pm on Sunday night."Join Don now on:"One Brick Shy"(Music swells at this point. It's ...

Doh!!!! A Saturday Evening Post
2008-03-09 01:51:00
Another favorite photo from Debra, my number one fan.These guys just put in a long day installing heavy-duty safety pylons. It's just about Miller time. Or has beer-thirty already come and gone?Think about it.It's always beer-thirty at humor-blogs.com. Head over and have a frosty one on me.
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Selling Humor by the Pound
2008-03-07 04:45:00
Where Humor is Nothing to Laugh About.Don Lewis, CEO of DONCO Inc.Many, oh so many of you should have asked me. "What's it like to be an Award Winning (lower right side, down a bit, two of them) Humor Blogger?"Well first, you must understand; humor creation is no longer a laughing matter. It's not as easy to make the geeks choke as it was back in say, Pee Wee Herman's day. Then, humor was fresh and new, and a simple cream pie could have them rolling on the floor down at the Bijou with the spilled coke and prophylactics. But the days of the venerable tin plate and cool whip are gone.For one thing, the cost of cream has gone through the roof. Today, the pie fight scene alone in "Blazing Saddles" would break most humor firms and be completely out of reach for the smaller, independent mirth merchant.It isn't just cream of course. The cost of crude humor is up over a hundred dollars a barrel. And ever since the Soviet Union was replaced by scab labor, even a so-so Politburo joke ha...
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Giving Obama a Black Eye
2008-03-05 18:12:00
Several blogging sites have recently brought to the Nation's attention a rather shocking contention: that the Hillary Clinton Presidential Campaign has been intentionally modifying pictures and videos of her Democrat Party rival Barack Obama in an attempt to bring out his "blackness". The ploy is assumedlly designed to "color" the opinions of potential voters and to stir up latent racial prejudices against Obama.Video clips of Barack Obama at a Senate hearing were used on a Clinton Campaign ad, and a comparison of the original video with those in the ad definitely show a darkening of the candidates face.The Clinton campaign has described the change in Barack's skin color as a product of the video editing process. (Interesting process that makes his skin darker and his shirt so much whiter.)We at "It's a Funny Thing..." not so trusting. This kind of blatant photo manipulation is completely unacceptable unless its done in our own interest. So we decided that a little undercover...
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Be Afraid...Be very Afraid.
2008-03-03 18:03:00
Another meterstone (a nod to the Canucks) in the relentless march of: "That Entertainment Juggernaut..." North-west-central Idaho Humor Blogging Today"The Mongolian Horde of Humor - ravishing the soft underbelly of the Internet" Uh...something, something... umm...weekly. "It's a Funny Thing..." (Whoa! Breathe Don! Breathe!)Yesterday I had my 3000th visitor; and all in less than 4 months of blogging. Of more importance than the number is the growth. In the first two months; 1000 visitors. In the next two months, 2000 more. A simple, but telling graph shows that in a very short while, every computer on Earth will be displaying my blog, all the time. A humbling experience to a lesser man than I, no doubt.Science doesn't lie So who was this fortunate visitor? This early acolyte of a Humor Dynasty that will crush all competition under the iron heels of its clay feet?All I can say is he was at Cornell University and he got here by way of a google search for "diesel porn" which led him ...

Sunday Shorts
2008-03-02 23:13:00
Once again, I submit for your "enjoyment", if that can even remotely be considered the right word, a submission from my number one blog-fan, Debra:I don't know that I need to add any caption, since the dog's face says it all. So happy Sunday ! Another week of (nearly) every day posts begins tomorrow. Collect the whole set!More funny stuff at humor-blogs.com.
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It's 3 A.M..........
2008-03-01 17:55:00
It's 3 a.m. and your children are safe and asleep. But there's a phone in the White House and its ringing. Beeedeeeep beeeedeeeep!Something's happening in the world.Your vote will decide who answers that call. Whether its someone who already knowsthe world's leaders, knows the military.Someone tested and readyto lead in a dangerous world. It's 3 AM and your children are safe and asleep. Who do you want answering the phone?"BILL!!! GET...YOUR...ASS...HOME!!!"Push this button now and be counted! And a grateful nation thanks you.

The Don Dictum
2008-02-29 05:37:00
I know we are all eagerly awaiting The Ominous Comma's, no doubt seminal work on economic theory. (Seminal in this case meaning: "highly original and influencing the development of future events", as opposed to: "pertaining to, containing, or consisting of semen.") But while waiting for that opus to arrive, I feel compelled to explain a little understood (Because it's insane.) relationship between government finance and the spending habits of the private sector (meaning you).In this case, I'm referring to a recent announcement from the State of Washington. (Motto: Where Californians go to cut loose.) Before you say to yourself "We have a State named after the US Capitol?" - and then head out for more entertaining reading, hear me out because the what's going on in Washington is coming to a State near you very soon.Anyway, Washington State is very concerned because the slowing economy is projected to seriously impact State revenue in the next couple of years. As you no doubt...

Communique from the PLA (nt)
2008-02-27 23:19:00
WeEEEeeeooooowEEEEEeeeoooOOOOHHHH (bad tuning radio sounds)The following is a communique' from the Plant Liberation Army (nt)!!Long Leaf the Revolution!And now, our Morning-Glorious Leader Comandante D..."This is Comandante D, Colander-in Chief of the PLA(nt). We have taken control of this seedy tool of the oppressors to tell you that the glorious end of herbiferous slavery is about to sprout!"Already valiant PLA (nt) Storm Tubers, pistils firmly in hand, are ready to make their vegetable stand! What we sow, you shall reap!Too long have our cellulose companions been imprisoned in pots that are too small, subjected to the torture of grow-lights and force 'fertilized' in excrement!And don't even get me started on bonsai.Across the nation, the PLA (nt) is growing like a weed; and as its message takes root, the seeds of destruction for the protein based oppressors shall sprout!The struggle will be difficult. We have many powerful enemies:The HoesBut we are not alone!Already the PLA ...

Search for the Sidekick, The Finale! (such as it is.)
2008-02-26 19:01:00
As promised, here are the results of my request for assistance on locating a suitable fictional blog assistant. I must say I'm disappointed. Sure, I knew it was risky asking a bunch of humor writers and readers to help me chose a character to pen some of my weblog pieces during those times when I was just not up to the challenge. And I got a lot of responses. But many of the contributers failed to understand the purpose of this exercise: making me look good.I won't say that I will actually use any suggestion here as my final choice. (Read the fine print at the contests inception.) Never-the-less, I thank everyone for their input. (except " You say I am Discombobulated" Get your own blog.)So let's take a look at the catch:----------------------------hey don lewis,i'd use a dog...everyone loves dogs, and anyone who doesn't, you wouldn't wanna read your blog anyway, right?Your welcome!rock on,aitchHarris BloomThanks for the suggestion Harris. My only concern is if I skip a da...
More About: Search , Finale , Sidekick

Sidekick Interviews Part 2.
2008-02-26 01:23:00
I've received a lot of feedback so far on the type of blog buddy that would best suit me. So far, its all been goo...,instruc...,sane,...Errr...So far, its all been written.Tomorrow I will, with proper attribution, (So don't blame me, you submitted it.) respond to each of the suggestions that have been made. (There's still time to get yours in. Come on! Every extra link to your page helps. Don't worry, no one will remember where they saw it.)Naturally, my responses will be made in the loquacious, rambling, and disjointed style that has made this meta-humor blog one of the most popular in human history (Source: poll; my house, this moment, kids and spouse excluded.) It's going to be a very long night.In the mean time, we now have another interview with a potential blog sidekick provided to me by a local fictional blog character temporary service.don: Thanks for coming by. Give me a second to look over your application. Uh huh...(flip) Uh huh... OK, it says here that you are an i...
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Saturday Evening Post: Sidekick Interview (pt.1)
2008-02-23 22:38:00
As discussed previously, (Here, as a matter of fact) I am presently interviewing for a fictional sidekick to take some of the humor-writing load off me at "It's a funny thing...Inc." I'm still offering the generous finder's fee as described above, and I will be looking, with increased desperation, at every suggestion you, my readers, send my way.I've already received a number of comments. A few of them have been thoughtful and considerate, and based upon the experience of highly respected and popular humor bloggers. Unfortunately, those few still require me to actually do some work and don't permit me to make the shallow and flippant responses that I would normally substitute for honest toil. So I will be dismissing them wholly, at least until I can finish getting as much mileage as possible out of the more outrageous suggestions.I will be reviewing all comments received, with appropriate attribution on Tuesday's blog, so keep them coming. In the mean time, I do have a few ...
More About: Post , Interview , Saturday , Sidekick , Evening

I Need a Sidekick. (A contest, of sorts.)
2008-02-21 23:27:00
All of the really big humor bloggers seem to have an alter-ego. Someone to say and do outrageous things that the blog owner can play off of, or to say or do things that the blog owner is unwilling or too wise to say themselves.Which brings to mind the question, what happens when the manufactured character is actually funnier than the blog author? Does the created character begin to limit blog access for the author? Maybe punch up his work a bit? Give him the scut-work like choosing fonts or handling the Photoshop blending tools?Brent at Ominous Comma in receiving treatment from Dr. Tobaggans. Diesel at Mattress Police shares Hobbit McNuggets with Grûndir the Implacable. Mark over at the Skwib allows General Kang to handle his advice column for him. Lobo at Predator Press has an entire rugby team of characters running around in his head and on his blog, tearing up the carpet with metaphorical cleats of humor.And lots of other great humor writers have their own personal assist...
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Harry Potter and the Mountain of Money
2008-02-20 22:04:00
When it comes right down to the wire, is when the campaigning gets fun. As many of you have no doubt heard, the Clinton campaign, (Motto: Our change is better than his change.) has been accusing Barack Obama of plagiarism as a result of Obama's use of some phrases attributed to Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick, a long time friend of Senator Obama. Senator Clinton and her people have declared that Obama is little more than a speech maker without any concrete ideas of his own.Senator Obama (Motto: change, change, change), for his part admits that he should have attributed those statements to his friend the Governor, but his staff argues that he and Patrick are friends who "share thoughts on ideas and language" and therefore any charge of plagiarism is absurd.I tend to support the Obama side with this one. For one thing, it makes my life easier and really helps me with my writing career.As an example, My good friend J.K.Rowling and I have often shared "thoughts on ideas and langua...
More About: Money , Harry Potter , Potter , Harry , Mountain

The QOHA Award (That's redundant)
2008-02-19 17:59:00
Remember when you were a kid and you were out 'trick or treating' on Halloween, and you were trying to look really cool in your zombie-truck driver costume because you were twelve and Olga Mae Hampster was with you, and for the first time in your life you were getting interested in a girl? A girl, mind you, that was looking very fetching in her slave girl-nurse costume. And suddenly, there before you was the old Hammerfist house. Ancient, malevolent, brooding, and some how visible only in black and white, with no lights at all except for an electric blue spark that cycled on and off from a garret window.And you said to Olga Mae, in a voice that cracked with both unease and hormonal changes, "Uh...lets skip this one." And Olga, the light of your life and the central figure of many of your dreams replied, for the first time in your life, with those words that would come to haunt you forever as a young man:"You aren't afraid, are you?"Damn you, Olga Mae Hamster.Well, that feeling...
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What the hell happened to Lincoln?
2008-02-18 18:16:00
Happy Presidents Day!I assume my readership for the day will be lessened considerably, what with all the Presidents Day festivities everyone will be attending; the Presidents Day barbecues, the laying on of the wreath at the tomb of the unknown President, (By the way, it's Grover Cleveland, hope that doesn't spoil it for any one.) and the annual cherry tree cutting and coin throwing ceremonies. But even though I could take the day off myself, having once been the President of the Roy Rogers Riders Club - Donahue Drive Division back in 1967, I realize that I have an obligation to you, my readers.Now I could write a short and snappy piece about Brittany Spears or I could do my usual long-winded and needlessly pedantic explanation of some useless piece of trivia. Naturally I chose the latter. After all, I'm now getting up to 40 visitors a day, and many of those (average, 3) give every appearance of wanting to be here, based upon the length of their stay. (Or of having to answer ...
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Saturday Evening Post - Women are Gross.
2008-02-17 07:09:00
The following was sent to my wife by my number one fan Debra. My wife vetted this and sent it on to me. Because we relax our rigorous standards of good taste here at "It's a funny thing..." for our Saturday Evening Post , I'm passing it on to you without accepting any responsibility at all.GOVERNMENT HEALTH WARNINGDO NOT SWALLOW YOUR CHEWING-GUM! See what happens ?As the Saturday Evening Post is supposed to be brief, I will keep the editorial comments to a minimum, other than to point out that these two women, good God-fearing ladies both of them, have a humor exchange program that would make a lot of men's locker-rooms look like an editorial board meeting at "The 700 club." This is one of the more family-friendly ones."Focus on the Family" doesn't have a blog at humor-blogs.com But go ahead and risk Perdition by clicking here. Thanks!
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Synchronicity
2008-02-15 08:10:00
Without going into specifics, the Government has decided - in the interest of public safety of course, not because it would be really cool or anything like that, to attempt to shoot down a broken US spy satellite that's due to hit the Earth's atmosphere sometime in early March.Apparently the satellite still has a pretty good load of rocket fuel on board and the stated concern is that the extra fuel could pose an elevated risk to people, although exactly why this would be more true than getting hit on the head by six thousand pounds of white-hot metal was not discussed. Also, there's some buzz going around that there might be some James Bond level equipment aboard, which might also factor in the government's decision to waste the sucker."This is all about trying to reduce the danger to human beings," said Deputy National Security Adviser James Jeffries.Uh huh.And the fact that we would, for the first time, be using a missile to take out a satellite about to be making re-entry has...
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10 Inch Manhood
2008-02-14 07:10:00
Sorry I'm late. It's been a pretty busy day. But I wanted to get something posted because I still intend to continue to provide you, my faithful readers, a (nearly) daily look under the rock that is my skull.A few more of the email headers that have recently come my way.This one truly disturbed me. For one thing, its cold around here right now and this one seems awfully damp."Unleash that watering hose inside your pants"I can assure you, my good and faithful readers, that it has been many years since I last had a watering hose in my pants. It was a college fraternity initiation thing I believe. (Those days are so vague for some reason.) And although I can certainly think of any number of rational reasons that I would want one in my pants today, (No doubt you've already thought of a few in the time its taken to read this.) one thing alone would stop me: kinks."Increase your instrument size and women will love you..."As I've previously mentioned, I'm currently trying to learn to ...
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Stoned Again
2008-02-12 18:31:00
The more things change, the more they stay the same. This annoyingly trite cliche' is never more true than with drug use and pop-stardom. Lindsay Lohan, Brittany Spears, Kirsten Dunst, Eva Mendes, Brad Renfro; the list of those described in the media as party animals is as long as the wait for a reservation at one of the fashionable detox centers which are popping up like magic mushrooms throughout Southern California."We've had to add an extra wing." Said Gilderoy Fortesque, the owner of the China White House, a designer treatment facility where high-end patients must endure up to 3 grueling days of mud-baths and shiatsu massage before being declared clean and sober.Fortunately, there is additional help out there for the young and the restless. Older, more experienced rockers are coming forward to share their "stash" of wisdom with the new breed of substance abusers. A prime example of the counseling available for the younger set is that provided by that venerable Sage of Smack, ...
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Helmet Hair
2008-02-11 18:00:00
Once again, the Marine's have been told to get out, this time by the Mayor of Toledo, Ohio.Apparently the Mayor wasn't happy about a company of Marines practicing urban warfare in downtown Toledo last weekend, even though the local police had all ready approved the training.A spokesman for Mayor Finkbeiner (Yes, that's his real name.) said, "the mayor asked them to leave because they frighten people. He did not want them practicing and drilling in a highly visible area."Imagine! Marines frighten people! See, this is exactly what's wrong with our military! The Mayor hit it right on the head. (Well, actually hitting something on the head is probably too violent an analogy. Let's say instead that the Mayor has patted it right on the tush. In a gentle and non-assertive way without any harassing motivations at all. No Sir! (Or Ma'am.)It is becoming quite clear, as this case and the problems noted previously in the Kingdom of California (click here) demonstrate, that the United ...
More About: Hair , Helmet

Ave Sharia
2008-02-08 20:50:00
From the Nation that gives us place names like Dorking, Duck End, Felldownhead, and the ever popular Frisby On The Wreake, (I love it when I don't have to work hard making things up.) comes word from the Archbishop of the Canterbury and head of the Church of England, Dr Rowan Williams (two great comedic names, oh joy!) who has declared that Sharia and Parliamentary law should be given equal legal status in Great Britain so the people could choose which governs their lives.Dr Rowan Williams: 'We have to think about the rule of lawin a society of overlapping identities'(I mean, look at this guy! It's a humor writers dream come true!)For those readers that don't know anything about Sharia Law, I have just spent a grueling half-hour studying the subject so that I could present my now expert opinion on the subject. (Thank Allah for Wikipedia.)Sharia "Law" isn't law as we western nations understand the term. Here of course, the law is codified, immutable and applied equally to anyo...

THE Presidential Race Theme Song!
2008-02-07 17:45:00
Oh yeah yeah yeahNow if there's a smile on my face,It's only there tryin' to fool the public,But when it comes down to foolin' you;Now honey, that's quite a different subject.But don't let my glad expressionGive you the wrong impression.Really I'm sad.Ah sadder than sad.You're gone and I'm hurtin' so bad.Like a clown I pretend to be glad.Ooo Oo Oo Oo!Now there's some sad things known to man,But ain't too much sadder thanThe tears of a clownWhen there's no one around.(Refrain)Ooh, oh there's some sad things known to man,But ain't too much sadder thanThe tears of a clownWhen there's no one around, oh yeahoh coo kee choo."Tears of a clown" by Smokey Robinson (1970)Do me a favor and click here. humor-blogs.com And thank you for your support.
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The QOHA: The Ominous Comma!
2008-02-06 17:29:00
It's time again for the awarding of another Quality Original Humor Award.(QOHA) Once again, some lucky humor blog author; a Master (or Mistress) of his or her craft is breathing a sigh of relief. Because the Award is not going to them.For those of you who have until now shown good sense in avoiding this blog, let me fill you in on the criteria for receiving the QOHA.One, the blogger who receives the QOHA must be humanoid. (Or at least be generally bipedal.)Two, the blogger must be the author of mostly original humorous material, as defined by our panel of expert.Three, the blog humor must not be based solely or principally on shock blogging. Five hundred word monographs on excrement do not meet the Bob Newhart international humor standards. And Bob Newhart is the official 'It's a funny thing...' humor deity.Four, and this is very important, the recipient must be someone who is unlikely to actually post the award on their page for any length of time. In other words, they must de...

John McCain is a scum-sucking pig. Haha
2008-02-05 22:31:00
(The haha is so I can call this a humor article.)I was out cutting more firewood, because I seem to have underestimated my needs this year by about five months. Its nice to see improvement in my estimating skills.Anyway, I took a news break at the top of the hour, because, well, because I care about my readers. And I could no longer feel my toes up to my knees.But I like to stay on top of breaking developments so that I can quickly twist them to my own version of humorous reality. That's when I heard the news that - in order to deny Mitt Romney the delegates from the West Virginia, third place finisher John (We've got to get corruption out of government!) McCain ordered his people to vote for Mike Huckabee. This clever scheme caused Romney to fall to second place; assuring all the delegates from West Virginia go to Huckabee. All because McCain didn't want the will of the delegates of West Virginia to be expressed as a win for Romney.Clear?Huckabee, who's chances of getting the...
More About: Haha , John McCain , Scum