Tapping Away in the Middle of the Night

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Sniff ...
2008-03-07 17:34:00
A comment Mickeyjoe made in my previous post led me to check out some funny commercials, one of which reminded me of the following:A fuzzy head can make for some poor decisions ... ;)
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The Clean Fund
2008-03-07 12:53:00
Throughout history, people have often found themselves without the day-to-day basics they need to survive. Sadly, although we've reached the 21st century, the situation has yet to change.Take Clean , for instance. Clean struggles through life with the knowledge that he can't afford the essentials. Essentials such as this computer.But you can help. By donating to the Clean Fund , you, too, can help people like Clean achieve the requirements of life ... like that diamond-encrusted, cased in white gold, $350,000.00 computer.For just one easy donation of $100,000.00 per month, you can ensure that Clean has a wealth of diamonds to polish on a daily basis.Call today and help people like Clean. People who simply can't afford the shamefully expensive.(Seriously - there's people starving in the world and they're making computers like that ... ? What a waste ... !)Image sourced from here

It Really Is Big ...
2008-03-06 11:16:00
I loathe most ads (well ... I did until I realized that ads really weren't worth working myself into a state of loathing about). But some I absolutely love ...... and this is one of 'em:Don't actually drink beer, myself ... :rolleyes: :lol:

Reptiles I Have Met
2008-03-04 02:40:00
As is usual for wildlife visiting my back yard, I was alerted by my cats ...Don't worry ... I'm not stepping on him or hurting him in any way (I can't stand animal cruelty). In fact, he actually came over to me and started walking around in small circles over my foot! :eyes:Commonly referred to as a 'Blue Tongue Lizard', this little fella is actually a 'Blue Tongue Skink', and is one of the largest members of the skink family (as you can no doubt tell).Guess why they're called 'blue tongues!' :lol:In any case, even though he was protected from my girls by the lattice we have, he soon decided - after walking around in circles over my feet and staring up at me for a while (honestly, he twisted around until he was almost on his side looking up at me) - to continue on his merry way.Once again, endlessly fascinating to me to see wildlife like this in a common (and my own) back yard. :up:
More About: Reptiles

Phoning It In ...
2008-03-02 23:59:00
Hello ... ? Yes ... I'd like to phone in a blog post.Thanks.Tapping Away in the Middle of the Night?Sure, I'll hold ...... yeah, I'm here.Good.Yeah, okay ..."Left Angle Bracket. Align. Equals Sign. Justify. Right Angle Bracket. Enter. Enter.Howdy. Thanks for Dropping By and Welcome. Left Parenthesis. Or Welcome Back. Right Parenthesis. To My ... "Sorry?It's bbCode.Yeah.No ... not the same brackets. Angle Brackets differ from Parentheses. One's angular, yeah?No ...No ... I have no idea. I suck at maths.Yeah, well, you can quote trigonometric formulae all you like. I'll just have to take your word for it that you can get angles in arcs. I've got a blog post to ......... sigh.Angle Bracket.Angle.Bracket.I ...... whaddaya mean, "Please deposit another twenty-five cents?"Yes, I'm calling from Australia.Yes.Yeeeesss ...We don't have twenty-five cent pieces here. We've got one and two dollar coins, but they're a pain in the arse. I preferred the notes ...... I...

Blogs of Ancient Times - Uahgh
2008-03-01 08:28:00
Blogs of Ancient Times Title: UahghBlogger: Uahgh the CavemanLocation: Northern MesopotamiaTime: 143,000 BCUe ... ue nurrgh! Huf.Gehr.Foo! Hug. Hug.Uf.Ue ...Translation:Shat in hand today.Threw it at Karg.Karg didn't do anything about it; just kept rubbing big stick on flat stone until it get pointier and pointier ...(Why he keep doing that, anyway? Never see anything like it ... )Anyway ... Karg wuss.Me better than Karg.Wait ... what Karg doing with stick ... ?
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A Close Shave (A Short Story)
2008-02-28 15:27:00
In the quiet of the bathroom, the packet seemed to crinkle like overhead thunder as Peter opened it. As can happen with such things, though, the disposable razor fell out and clattered onto the small tiles of the bathroom floor, accompanied by Peter?s muted curse.As he bent to pick it up, the now discarded plastic packet swept itself off the edge of the sink and followed Peter down, falling past his eyes.?While I?m down here ? ?, he thought, picking it up as well.As he put it down on the edge of the sink and rinsed the inevitable dust from the razor, Peter once again noticed the attention-getting lettering which had made him buy the razor in the first place, despite the fact that it had come from a company he?d never heard of;?A new type of shaving experience!??Let?s hope so?, he thought, continuing his preparations.He mused on the fact that the packed had contained only one disposable razor as he rinsed a face-washer under the hot water then put it over the lower half of his face....
More About: Story , Close , Short , Short Story , Shave

I'm Not Eating That ...
2008-02-28 03:44:00
Real ... ?Not real ... ?Whatever the answer, there's not enough Tartare Sauce in the world ...
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It's a Joke, People ...
2008-02-27 01:09:00
Time and time again, all sorts of medical and sociological studies have proven that kissing can lead to sex. To which I - naturally enough - say, "Bullshit".No, really ... !Kiss my arse and see if I give a fuck. ;) :lol: :faint:
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The Lazy Designer and ... Affordable Space Travel!
2008-02-25 05:44:00
That's right ... the man who brought you The Lazy Tarot now brings you a way to get into space ...... uh ...... affordably ...... um ... (Hey ... it's nearly time for my nap ... )Um ...Of course, someone else'll have to build the thing ...
More About: Travel , Space , Designer , Space Travel

The Lazy Designer and ... The Tarot
2008-02-24 13:13:00
That's right ... The Lazy Tarot .Created by ... uh ...... umm ... an ancient ... uh ... guy ...( ... well ... he says he feels ancient a lot of the time ... )... uhh ... To ... um ...Because the guy who designed the deck was ... ... well, kinda bored, really ...Um ...Order now! Only one set available ...... kinda.(Some assembly required).(Uh ... some finishing off of the artwork required, too, now that you mention it ... )Uh ...
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Local Man's Condition Finally Diagnosed
2008-02-23 15:02:00
GOLD COAST, QLD - Dr Clem Morris - a Texan MD visiting the Gold Coast's Sunshine Medical Centre - has diagnosed a local man's previously-baffling lifelong medical condition.All his life, Victor Melissa Pelletier has suffered from mystery condition which has confounded medical experts. Variously diagnosed as, "Flabbergasted", "Rooted", "Stuffed" and, "Just Plain Fucked Up", Pelletier is grateful it took a visiting physician to diagnose what he has really been suffering from all his life."I just dropped in to the local Medical Centre one day", says Pelletier, "and my regular doctor had a visiting MD from Texas with him in his office"."Seconds after I'd walked in the door", continued a relieved Pelletier, "the Texan guy blurted out, 'Why, he's the most bumfuzzled fella I ever seen!'""Aw, bullshit, Clem", said the doctor in whose office Pelletier and the visiting MD were at the time of the diagnosis. "Get your fucking head out of your arse", he added, considering the visiting d...
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Weird Questions Without Noitice (or Answers ... )
2008-02-22 15:01:00
What would a mosquito do if you sprayed it with Aerogard?Are tyres made there?Is there a factory that makes factories?Can you build a piece of lego out of lego?What did the inventor of the pencil design it with?Why aren't expectorants better known as 'Coffee?'Why can't you milk milk?Would a trilobite have hurt?What do you feed a carpet?Do autopilots practice automatic writing?Do spirits drink?Isn't it curious how light isn't heavy?Why don't corner shops sell any?Who's the most handsome guy on Earth and why am I (well ... that is a weird question, isn't it)? :lol:
More About: Weird , Questions , Answers

lolpats
2008-02-21 15:04:00
'cowpata.png' sourced from here'cowpatb.png' sourced from here'cowpatc.png' sourced from here

Attacker Armed with Bicycle Pump Leaves Victims Horribly Mutated
2008-02-21 02:21:00
This just in ...In a disturbing trend, men across the world are being attacked while they sleep by an unknown assailant with a bicycle pump. The victims - who somehow sleep through their assault - wake in the morning to find themselves horribly mutated ...Ian 'Clear an Elevator' Quesada of California is left shaken after finding that - although he had to go out and buy new clothing - it wasn't very stylish.But the physical trauma wasn't the only thing victims had to try and cope with.Clancy 'Now I'll Never Be Able to Lick My Own Nipples' Mc Robbins of Gdansk has found himself suffering from a serious bout of melancholy since his attack ...Still, other victims have found a measure of solace by throwing themselves back into their work, though with mixed results ...Waylon 'See? I Can Still Fit into My DTs' Potter of Derbyshire trying valiantly to continue his career as a male model ...Some, though, have found their lives completely ruined by the attacks ...Malcolm 'But, Hon...
More About: Victims , Leaves , Pump , Armed , Bicycle

Hello, Possum
2008-02-20 12:05:00
Was woken up by a tremendous (ahem) CATerwauling (which is never a good thing to be woken up by). My girls were voicing their displeasure at a rather unexpected visitor ...This little guy (not that little, actually) had (somehow) squeezed his way through the lattice and onto our patio! Though he'd been prevented from reaching the ground by Midnight and Patches, he was safely out of their reach ... and mine!Still, all the attention proved too much for him, so he squeezed his way back through the lattice and decided to bugger off ...Even though it's reasonably common to get possums in the roof in Australia, it's still pretty amazing to me to be able to get that close to what is - essentially - a wild animal.