Turd on a Stick Turd on a Stick A heartfelt dose of pretension that retains the aesthetic of complete ignorance. Yeah! You wish you were this cool. Articles
Put the X back in Xmas
2007-12-25 06:53:00 Christmas is a time of year to shop and consume, and little baby Jesus in that manger would suck on the Virgin Mary’s tit. The three wise men (the three stars in the constellation Orion’s belt) had nothing better to do than wonder around at night and find some illegitimate child to give gifts to. ... More About: Back , Xmas
Led Turdelin
2007-12-24 12:22:00 After their December 10th London, O2 Arena show, we have to wonder what kind of black magic Jimmy Page has spun out to the world or how much money Led Zeppelin ’s public relations people used to pay off the press. Robert Plant couldn’t hit the notes and Jason Bonham just blows and isn’t even close ...
Why No Americans Read The Economist
2007-12-22 15:13:00 How the fuck are you supposed to feel good about not having enough tax dollars left over for health care when you read garbage like this? The hope (once shared, we admit, by this newspaper) that the West’s armies could return swiftlyhome and leave good order behind them was naive. Saddam Hussein and the Taliban ran ... More About: Economist , Iraq , Afghanistan , Fox News , Read
Communists have no sense of humor
2007-12-19 03:12:00 PHILADELPHIA - Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania have found that communists have no sense of humor. The study, which was carried out over a 3 year period on 1,000 known communists, used common jokes, satire and even had subjects make their own jokes. After all the data was collected, the researchers then did ... More About: Humor , Sense , Communists
Former NFL player Tony Siragusa eats Kofi Annan
2007-12-13 07:01:00 Former American football player and current TV analyst Tony “The Goose” Siragusa, upset at the United Nations’ attempt to reign in U.S. hegemony, apparently decided to take action into his own hands and has eaten former United Nations Chief Kofi Annan . However, Mr. Siragusa, a native of Keniloworth, New Jersey, was confused and did not know ... More About: Player
Hell with NASCAR, Ron Paul has a blimp
2007-12-12 11:25:00 While fellow Republican presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee has incorporated NASCAR into his campaign and Mitt Romney has tried to use (not quite) subliminal messages in his campaign, Ron Paul ’s supporters will use a blimp to garner support for Ron Paul in the upcoming New Hampshire U.S. Presidential primary. Paul’s campaign plans to fly the blimp along ... More About: Nascar , Election , Hell
Huckabee, AIDS kills fags dead
2007-12-12 09:26:00 U.S. Republican Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee is not backing away from quotes about homosexuality that he made in 1992 while running for the U.S. Senate. Instead, he has upped the ante so to speak. Get your “AIDS Kills Fags Dead ” t-shirts and remember homosexuality is an aberrant, unnatural, and sinful lifestyle. We need to take steps ... More About: Election
Whitney Housturd releases the Holiday Turd
2007-12-11 11:01:00 Still looking for that holiday gift for that special someone? Well, look no further! Whiteny Housturd’s One Wish, The Holiday Turd is jammed pack with all of her Christmas favorites like One Wish (For Crack Cocaine), and Have Yourself a Coked Up Christmas. More About: The Holiday , Whitney
The Iranian Two for One Deal
2007-12-11 09:54:00 Are you tired of waiting for that war in Iran or just simply confused about why Iran is an enemy of America and cannot have a nuclear program to meet its energy needs? Well, do we have the solution for you! Back in 1976, during the Gerald Ford presidency, with Dick Cheney as chief of staff and ... More About: Deal , Iranian , Rani
The perfect holiday gift, KKK drink coasters
2007-12-10 13:41:00 Looking for that special stocking stuffer? This holiday season, tell your friends and family how you really feel about America by giving them a set of Klu Klux Klan drink coasters. The brothers of the Klan are just as concerned as you are about your coffee table getting water damage. What are you waiting for? Act now ... More About: Holiday , Drink , Gift , Perfect , Coasters
Huckabee aberrant and unnatural
2007-12-10 09:32:00 Some good dirt has been dug up on our man Mike Huckabee . It seems in 1992 while running for the U.S. Senate, he called homosexuality “an aberrant, unnatural, and sinful lifestyle.” Although the conservative U.S. presidential hopeful has acknowledged the prevailing scientific view that the virus that causes AIDS is not spread through casual contact, ... More About: Republican , Election
Hitchens exposes Romney and his baloney
2007-12-10 01:38:00 You might recall during a heated debate about penis size with fellow U.S. Republican Presidential hopeful, Rudy Giuliani, that Mitt Romney said his penis was made of baloney and that all the Mormon chicks dig it. Well, now it seems Mr. Romney is at it again with a window dressing about his Mormonism. Almost the ... More About: Election , Christopher Hitchens
Benny Hinn?s ?Get the Bling You Have Always Wanted?
2007-12-09 09:54:00 Amazing things can happen when people come into agreement. It’s a principle directly from God’s word, and Benny Hinn Ministries is dedicated to praying in unity with people, just like you, who desire to see the Holy Spirit’s miracle-working power unleashed. When you send your prayer requests, they are instantly sent to our ... More About: Christian Right , Bling , Wanted
Iran protests over U.S. penis spying
2007-12-09 03:06:00 Iran has sent a formal protest letter to the United States, accusing it of spying on Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s penis. Foreign Minister Manouchehr Mottaki said the note was sent in response to a U.S. intelligence report released on Monday about Iranian president’s penis size. It said Ahmadinejad had a six and three quarter inch penis until ... More About: Iran , Penis , Protests , Spying
The stupidest man alive
2007-12-08 12:44:00 OK, we get that you are inherently ignorant, intolerant and uneducated, but why would you want to advertise it across your forehead and neck for the rest of your life? Get ready for all the fun that you are going to have in prison with all with those “brothers” soap boy! Image courtesy of The Smoking Gun. More About: Alive
Huckabee?s Intelligent Design Nascar
2007-12-08 06:41:00 First we had Rudy Giuliani and Mitt Romney quarrelling about penis size, then we had Barack Obama dawning black face in an effort to become more black in order to get more votes, and now we have Mike Huckabee solidifying himself as the symbol of uneducated America by comparing the Presidential election to a ... More About: Intelligent Design , Design , Republican , Nascar
Now, that is a cock ring!
2007-12-07 02:28:00 MANCHESTER, ENGLAND — Firefighters helped operate on a man who was rushed to hospital after getting a metal ring stuck on the end of his penis. Doctors at Royal Wigan Infirmary in Greater Manchester put out the alert after fearing the man faced amputation as the ring cut off his blood supply, and two firefighters used ... More About: Ring , Cock
1,000 Dumbasses meeting in the desert
2007-12-06 12:07:00 TUCSON, ARIZONA - Inventor and businessman Richard Chapin and his wife Monica are behind a giant device, which has gathered up and focused the light of the moon upon 1,000 visitors from all over the world. While the effect of the moon’s gravitational pull on the Earth’s tides and other natural phenomena has been studied for ... More About: Dumbasses , Desert , Meeting
Teach English in the Green Zone of Baghdad
2007-12-04 07:17:00 Hey all you ESL teachers, are you ready to reach the next level in ESL ? If so, Kent Clizbe from Cameron Halifax Associates wants you! Teach ESL in the Green Zone [of Baghdad ] We are a consulting services company. Our client needs one ESL teacher. We are searching for an adventurous, self-starting, independent person to ... More About: Iraq , Iraq War , English
Beware of those lefties and paedophiles
2007-12-03 09:25:00 Researchers have used sophisticated MRI scans to compare the brains of paedophiles and non-sexual criminals, and they have found that paedophiles had significantly less of a substance called “white matter”, responsible for wiring the different parts of the brain together. In addition, the team found activity in parts of paedophiles’ brains were lower than in other ... More About: Beware
Henry Tennis
2007-12-02 10:03:00 We give you those jazzy followers of Yamamoto Seiichi, Henry Tennis live from Shibuya O-Nest, Tokyo 6/21/07 courtesy of Live from Tokyo.
The Oprah Winfrey get your groove back on service
2007-11-30 09:14:00 Are you lonely a middle-aged western woman? Tired of horrible dates and men your age going to South East Asia to get young honeys? Well, look no further! 100% used and endorsed by Oprah herself, this unique service allows you to meet the young Kenya n man of your dreams. Not convinced, check out some of our testimonials: Bethan and Allie, ... More About: Oprah Winfrey , Service , Back
The kids are huffing turds
2007-11-29 11:18:00 Forget about huffing gas or downing some cough syrup. There is an even cheaper and browner way for kids to get high. As one U.S. TV station proclaimed, this “Dirty New Drug Threatens Youth,” and another TV station stated that this “pretty horrific new drug [is] becoming more and more popular in schools ... More About: Kids , The Kids , Turds
My Bloody Turd
2007-11-28 15:45:00 Kevin Shields and gang hot on their heels after 1991’s Loveless, are entering the studio to finish its follow up. And, we have an exclusive glimpse of the artwork that will accompany its upcoming digital release. Bookmark to: More About: Turd , Bloody
Gore Vidal, one of the last living sages
2007-11-28 08:59:00 Gore Vidal sums up the United States with an easy to understand quote for all: I was born 80 years ago in a country called the United States of America and now I live in a Homeland ? an expression we haven’t heard since Hitler. Bookmark to: More About: Living , Gore , Gore Vidal , The Last , Ages
Thumbs up!
2007-11-27 14:24:00 Our latest product in our TOAS product line. Bookmark to: More About: Government , Thumbs Up
Live: Boris with Kurihara Michio
2007-11-27 06:17:00 Well, we cannot get enough Boris here at Turd on a Stick. Voted the greatest living rock band, by all two TOAS active writers, we give this Boris with Kurihara Michio concert from October 2, 2007 in Philadelphia courtesy of EATTAPES, PHILLY PA. Enjoy! Bookmark to: More About: Live , Hara
Who knew, sex tourism in alive and well in Kenya
2007-11-27 06:04:00 While western women and human rights activists condemn sex tourism in South East Asian countries like Thailand, Vietnam and Cambodia, who knew sex tourism for western women was alive and well in Kenya ? It seems Kenya is a hot spot for middle-aged western to get their groove on with tall and muscular Kenyan men. Bethan ... More About: Tourism , Alive , Who Knew
We?re so proud
More articles from this author:2007-11-25 05:44:00 We are so proud, and we are not even queer. If you do a Google search on FUCK THE US GOVERNMENT, we are #712 atop the list. Now, if we could only find a foam we’re #11 finger that has fuck the U.S. government on it, we would be the coolest kids on the block. Bookmark to: More About: Proud 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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